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Yet more Jokes!

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By *ashful Baz OP   Man
over a year ago

poole dorset

A woman died of Diarrhoea today after having Anal Sex with six men

in a vintage car.

Police say it was a,

Pretty Shitty Gang Bang!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

not mine found on the web

.

.

Little old ladies are always asking me to reach things for them from the top shelves.

Which is fine in Asda.

A bit weird in the newsagents though.

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By *ashful Baz OP   Man
over a year ago

poole dorset

A 3 year old boy examined his tsticles while having a bath, He asked, mum are these my brains?

She replied, no not yet!

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By *ashful Baz OP   Man
over a year ago

poole dorset

Just got a parcel from holland I opened it and inside was a plastic vagina, I thought thats nice....

Two lips from amsterdam!

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By *azarus70Man
over a year ago

Cheshire

Have you heard the joke about the retaded dwarf.....

Im not going to tell it , its not big or clever!!!!

Thank you very much ill be here all week , try the veal..........

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By *azarus70Man
over a year ago

Cheshire

My grandfather died recently of a tropical skin disease , the doctors had advised us to cover him in goose fat , but to no avail , he went downhill very quickly after that!!!

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By *ashful Baz OP   Man
over a year ago

poole dorset

Alcohol Free Lager

........its like licking your auntie's fanny, It tastes the same but its just not right!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ben asks his girlfriend for a handjob, she says "I've never done one, what do i do?" ben says "remember when you was a kid, and you'd shake a bottle and spray your brother with it, well thats what you do" she nods, and he whips his cock out, she grabs hold and starts shaking, five minutes later he's got tears running down his face, snot flowing from his nose, he's in a right state, she says "whats wrong?" he replies "take your thumb off the end"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"My grandfather died recently of a tropical skin disease , the doctors had advised us to cover him in goose fat , but to no avail , he went downhill very quickly after that!!!"

Fucks sake I feel like Margot Leadbetter! I've read this four times..... Why is it funny ? EXPLAIN IT TO ME......???

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"not mine found on the web

.

.

Little old ladies are always asking me to reach things for them from the top shelves.

Which is fine in Asda.

A bit weird in the newsagents though. "

Funny x

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By *ashful Baz OP   Man
over a year ago

poole dorset


"Ben asks his girlfriend for a handjob, she says "I've never done one, what do i do?" ben says "remember when you was a kid, and you'd shake a bottle and spray your brother with it, well thats what you do" she nods, and he whips his cock out, she grabs hold and starts shaking, five minutes later he's got tears running down his face, snot flowing from his nose, he's in a right state, she says "whats wrong?" he replies "take your thumb off the end" "

Lol very good!

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By *azarus70Man
over a year ago

Cheshire


"My grandfather died recently of a tropical skin disease , the doctors had advised us to cover him in goose fat , but to no avail , he went downhill very quickly after that!!!

Fucks sake I feel like Margot Leadbetter! I've read this four times..... Why is it funny ? EXPLAIN IT TO ME......??? "

Because the goose fat is slippery and would make him slide down a hill very quickly lol...yeah never good when you have to explain a joke!!!

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By *ashful Baz OP   Man
over a year ago

poole dorset

Top tip: if your camping in the summer and the attractive young lady in the next tent tells you that because it's so hot, she will be sleeping with her flaps open, it's not necessarily an invitation to casual sex.....

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By *azarus70Man
over a year ago

Cheshire

Whats the difference between a magic wand and a truncheon?

A magic wand is used for cunning stunts.....

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By *ashful Baz OP   Man
over a year ago

poole dorset

The N.H.S are offering £5.50 a time for sperm donations, Which would make that old sock under your bed worth about nine grand!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I went to the doctors yesterday complaining it hurt when I poked my leg, and my arm and my head.

'What's wrong with me doctor?'

'you have a broken finger.'

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"My grandfather died recently of a tropical skin disease , the doctors had advised us to cover him in goose fat , but to no avail , he went downhill very quickly after that!!!

Fucks sake I feel like Margot Leadbetter! I've read this four times..... Why is it funny ? EXPLAIN IT TO ME......???

Because the goose fat is slippery and would make him slide down a hill very quickly lol...yeah never good when you have to explain a joke!!! "

I get it now. Ta. Simple me !

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I do Acksherly feel thick now

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What's the difference between a penis and a prick?

A penis is fun, sexy and satisfying... A prick is the guy who owns it.

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By *azarus70Man
over a year ago

Cheshire

Whats the difference between a bonus and a penis????

Yor wife enjoys blowing your bonus....

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By *ashful Baz OP   Man
over a year ago

poole dorset

A woman has been admitted to hospital with a Hoover nossle wedged in her fanny, although she's in intensive care, doctors say she's picking up nicely.

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By *ashful Baz OP   Man
over a year ago

poole dorset

5000 men surveyed were asked why they like blowjob's.

1% liked warmth.

2% liked sensation.

3% liked eroticism.

94% just liked the peace and quiet:

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I just had sex with my Dad's sister.

What an Auntie-Climax.

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By *ashful Baz OP   Man
over a year ago

poole dorset

...A man has been rushed to hospital after a bizzare sex game went wrong and left him with six toy horses stuck up his arse, Doctors have described his condition as "stable"

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By *ashful Baz OP   Man
over a year ago

poole dorset

McVities have just brought out a new biscuit range called "Clitoris Creams"

They come with a guarantee,

"One lick and you'll want to eat the box"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

great news,i am on dragons den next week...i ve invented a land mine that looks like a prayer mat.

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By *ashful Baz OP   Man
over a year ago

poole dorset

Just in, this one!

Just bought a new wig,

made completely out of anal hair.....

Fuckin thing keeps blowing off...

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By *uro anchorMan
over a year ago

Coventry

Get in ! the missus has finally agreed to do anal...

But what the fuck is a strap on...?

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By *uro anchorMan
over a year ago

Coventry

ordered a chineese last night.

the chink turned up at my door and said £20 prease.. i smiled and said can u tell me the name of jordans blind son ?.. He said Halfey Price.. I replied Cheers mate here,s a tenner now fuck off..

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By *ashful Baz OP   Man
over a year ago

poole dorset

They reckon that beer contains

female hormones,

They might be right, because after 16 pints I talk like a cunt and I can't Fucking drive.

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By *aravancoupleMan
over a year ago

A Secret Hideaway In the caravan of love

Molly & Tyrone have got the baby a new present.

Its Jack in a box!!

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By *nvictusMan
over a year ago

Beeston

I spent some time at my wife's grave earlier...

...she's not dead, she thinks I'm digging a pond!

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By *ashful Baz OP   Man
over a year ago

poole dorset

A builder walks up to a girl in a bar and tells her "Ive an 8 inch dick and I could ride you all night long"

She takes him home that night and the next morning she wakes up and says

"you told me you had an 8 inch dick and you were going to ride me all night long but you only had a 4 inch dick and you only rode me for 5 minutes"

The man replied "yeah but I'm a builder love .....

that was just a estimate!!!!"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A Chinese man comes home late one night and gets into bed with his wife. He's just cuddling up to her when he suggests they have a 69.

She replies, "Yoo fook off, Misser, me no cook this time o night!"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Paddy asks murphy how to spell orange...murphy thinks about it then says "do you mean the fruit or the colour"?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

my girlfriend threw me out of the house yesterday because she caught me in bed with her sister.silly isnt it,a fully grown woman jealous of a 12 year old?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

peter andre has applied for a job in a chilean coal mine.hes got 4 years experience humping slag and lifting a heavy spade.

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By *y_funcoupleCouple
over a year ago

SHEFFIELD

My Missus says Im immature, and that we should set a day aside to talk........ Like thats going to happen in the middle of Conker season!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"peter andre has applied for a job in a chilean coal mine.hes got 4 years experience humping slag and lifting a heavy spade."

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By *ashful Baz OP   Man
over a year ago

poole dorset


"peter andre has applied for a job in a chilean coal mine.hes got 4 years experience humping slag and lifting a heavy spade."

Lol

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