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For anyone not going to Glastonbury

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

We aren't going but will be watching on T.V , so to get into the Glasto spirit what tips can you give to get the Glasto feel..

Already thrown all toilet paper away,

and Ive took the bread buns out of the bag to get them nice and stale for the burgers.

What else should be on the list

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Put a tent up in the back garden, stick the end of the hose in it and leave it running all weekend.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Put a tent up in the back garden, stick the end of the hose in it and leave it running all weekend."
good one

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By *erbyDalesCplCouple
over a year ago

Derbyshire

Drive your car into a swampy field, then pay a farmer £100 to tow it out again. Make sure he rips your bumper off in the process!

I used to work near J23 of the M5. Every fecking year I forgot to take.the last day of Glastonbury as holiday and stay safely at home in Bristol!

Mr ddc

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By *ezebelWoman
over a year ago

North of The Wall - youll need your vest

Wander into a strangers house because you are absolutely convinced thats the place where you left yours before you went out for a look around and a few beers

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ask a tone deaf neighbour to come round at 4am and sing really loudly outside your bedroom window!

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By *aul DeUther-OneMan
over a year ago

Sussex

Put your welly boots on, turn your Stereo up to full volume, go into your garden and invite your neighbours to randomly lob bottles of indeterminate warm liquid at you from all angles. Save £200

Enjoy.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Don't forget the chill out zone, complete with magic mushrooms, masala chai and didgeridoo.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

hire some peeps with jembe's to drum outside your bedroom window all night every night.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Put a flag in your house so you remember where it is.

B

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Dont flush your toilet all weekend

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Get yer self a crusty weave and dowse yer self in stale urine

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Don't forget to fill all your clothes and shoes with mud

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs


"Put a tent up in the back garden, stick the end of the hose in it and leave it running all weekend."

Yup, and then march round it repeatedly in rainbow wellies until you have the appropriate depth of mud...say 6"?

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

Pay someone to burgle you. Or arrange a tornado to blow your house down.

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

why can you never find a port-a-loo when you need one... lol should i just take a dump in next doors garden???? ......

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

Offer £200 for some shit cds on ebay

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

dont pack anything away just leave it there -

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Wander into a strangers house because you are absolutely convinced thats the place where you left yours before you went out for a look around and a few beers"

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

No toothbrush, toothpaste or deodorant - someone always forgets to pack that.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Put two identical buckets next to each other. Fill one with beer for scooping out and tell blokes that they can use the other as a urinal

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By *effrey45Man
over a year ago

Lytham

Set strong string traps at shin high level then at night see how many falls and curses you can achieve on your way to the bog

Invite someone who has never held down a job into your front drive to swing flaming ball and chains around his head

Get a colourful cloth bracelet around your wrist and don't take it off for weeks

Pretend you have had an amazing time despite enduring misery from minute one

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Set strong string traps at shin high level then at night see how many falls and curses you can achieve on your way to the bog

Invite someone who has never held down a job into your front drive to swing flaming ball and chains around his head

Get a colourful cloth bracelet around your wrist and don't take it off for weeks

Pretend you have had an amazing time despite enduring misery from minute one"

You forgot... flush £500 down the drain and then pretend you're "street" "underground" and not complete commercial sellout toss pots (fuck it the gloves are off lol)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Don't forget your skins??

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By *icked weaselCouple
over a year ago

Near Edinburgh..

If it wasny fer yer Wellies !!!

Can always wear them at home too..

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By *iamondjoeMan
over a year ago

Glastonbury

I've just come back from G'bury

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Develop Immersion Foot Syndrome.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Throw your drinks over the fence so they don't get confiscated before you get to the entrance.

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By *iamondjoeMan
over a year ago

Glastonbury

Nice hot day, met some guy off here... did some shopping... was complemented a few times for being the best dressed person.

Sour grapes in this thread :P

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By *effrey45Man
over a year ago

Lytham

Develop the early stages of scurvy

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By *iamondjoeMan
over a year ago

Glastonbury

Oh, and to rub it in, it took me 30 mins to get off site and in to a hot bath :D

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Go indoors, grab an ice cold beer from the fridge, get comfy and put on a Foo Fighters concert DVD.

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By *iamondjoeMan
over a year ago

Glastonbury

The line-up is pretty shit though, tbh

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By *unknSoulCouple
over a year ago

dumfries-ish

Haven't washed for 5 days, lost a sock and got all we need for the weekend apart from food n drink.

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By *icked weaselCouple
over a year ago

Near Edinburgh..

Pee in a plastic cup and throw it towards the stage .. x

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By *iamondjoeMan
over a year ago

Glastonbury


"Pee in a plastic cup and throw it towards the stage .. x"

I can do that, if you like

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If anyone is here get in touch

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The line-up is pretty shit though, tbh"

jessie ware - love her -

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Put the TV in your garden. Roll about in some mud then drink warm lager/wine while busting for the loo... happy days

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

Haha this thread is definitely making me feel less bothered about not going!

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By *ickawitchCouple
over a year ago

Away with the fairies (Liverpool to you)


"Haha this thread is definitely making me feel less bothered about not going! "

It's making me feel a little scared for Christos stuck there

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

if you havent got a ticket, put a steel fence around your house and have "security" refuse you entry.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ask your neighbour to describe their Glastonbury experience?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Buy a pair of trendy wellies, then invite your girly friends round to make sure no one bought same pair.

Then walk up to Mayfair, few loaded people there you can give £200 to.

From there you can walk down to Hyde park, won't hear much there either - but it's a good place for ogling young totty with whom you have no chance.

Go back through Mayfair where you can pay double the going rate for some food + drink

at this point , after all the walking and food, find you need to visit the little room. This bit is easy, just walk down to the Thames coz it's filthy and smells like an open sewer- def festival vibe right there .

Finally, buy a media organization and broadcast your pics 24/7 so that even little fleas on a dogs arse in Peru know you've been to the festival.

Then, as you have had enough and want to go home- find a bus stop and chat up any random passing female. You got a few hours to kill so you never know your luck, she might have a fold up tent stashed in her handbag

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By *effrey45Man
over a year ago

Lytham

Have some frazzled slightly older person tell you how it's too commercialised now and had a better vibe back in the day man

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