FabSwingers.com forum: Bro Tips. Shhhh, secret. Don't tell the ladies.

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

So, an idea from Funky Monkey. We share our tips which work with the ladies.

Just between us though lads

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What about the bi girls?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Make your cock look 30% bigger by using the compact Lynx cans in your cock photos

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"What about the bi girls?

Good shout! Just keep it secret

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Don't talk about sex during the first meet. Until she/couple brings it up.

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By *igeiaWoman
over a year ago

Bristol

I find tucking her hair behind her ears is a good start. In the lady on lady move stakes, anyway.

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By *iamondjoeMan
over a year ago

Glastonbury

"Don't talk about sex during the first meet. Until she/couple brings it up."

See, I play it the other way - be as suggestive and flirty as you dare.

Maybe not, as you say, talk about shagging on the first date but be open and daring.

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By *iamondjoeMan
over a year ago

Glastonbury

And a little bit of mystery always works wonders

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Make your cock look 30% bigger by using the compact Lynx cans in your cock photos "

70% bigger........

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You are just better being yourself. If someone is not going to like you for whatever reason, it's better that they find that out at the very beginning.

It is probably not the best game plan.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You are just better being yourself. If someone is not going to like you for whatever reason, it's better that they find that out at the very beginning.

It is probably not the best game plan."

Did someone not get the Memo?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I find tucking her hair behind her ears is a good start. In the lady on lady move stakes, anyway.

oh jeeez love this....please do

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Rub cologne behind your ears after a shower.

When you kiss a woman on the cheek. They will smell it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I find tucking her hair behind her ears is a good start. In the lady on lady move stakes, anyway.

Ooh like that

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Don't talk about sex during the first meet. Until she/couple brings it up."

I'm hoping to be having sex on the first meet not talking about it!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I find tucking her hair behind her ears is a good start. In the lady on lady move stakes, anyway.

Ooh like that

Ooh me too x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Don't talk about sex during the first meet. Until she/couple brings it up.

I'm hoping to be having sex on the first meet not talking about it!!

Saucepot.

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By *entaur_UKMan
over a year ago

Cannock

"Rub cologne behind your ears after a shower.

When you kiss a woman on the cheek. They will smell it. "

That sounds like a tip from the programme "queer eye for the straight guy", lol. Another tip i got from that programme was to rub moisturiser on your elbows before you go out (if wearing a t-shirt, or short sleeve shirt), keeps the skin there nice and soft and apparently ladies will notice these things.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Whiney status updates and moaning forum posts followed up by a relentless campaign of messages to allow maximum cock pic coverage works I'm told?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Whispering in my ear always can be a golden ticket as well

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By *at2Couple
over a year ago

north Down

Always make sure the bog bowl is clean And flushed, when taking a picture of your cock "whilst in the toilet.

Ops and really suck the gut in ta boot....

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I find tucking her hair behind her ears is a good start. In the lady on lady move stakes, anyway.

Oh I can see that... That's really quite sexy!

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By *andybeachWoman
over a year ago

In the middle

Send plenty of fancy a fuck messages, I recon they work every time for you boys

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

Here's a tip for you Thingy: you and Funky Monkey double up and I'll get in the car and be in Newcastle quicker than you can say wormhole.

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By *andybeachWoman
over a year ago

In the middle

"Here's a tip for you Thingy: you and Funky Monkey double up and I'll get in the car and be in Newcastle quicker than you can say wormhole.

Can you pick me up on the way

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Here's a tip for you Thingy: you and Funky Monkey double up and I'll get in the car and be in Newcastle quicker than you can say wormhole.

But not on a Thursday

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Any more Bro Tips?

I think Ligeia is winning this one

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By *igeiaWoman
over a year ago

Bristol

"Any more Bro Tips?

I think Ligeia is winning this one

I knew I should have kept my mouth shut.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Any more Bro Tips?

I think Ligeia is winning this one

I knew I should have kept my mouth shut.

No, I love the fact the best bro tip by far has come from a woman

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Wanking is best.

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By *imiUKMan
over a year ago

Hereford

"Rub cologne behind your ears after a shower.

When you kiss a woman on the cheek. They will smell it.

Jesus, I'm fucked then! My hands are like sandpaper and I don't think moisturiser is bringing them back....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Rub cologne behind your ears after a shower.

When you kiss a woman on the cheek. They will smell it.

I notice elbows, but it's only because mine are incredibly rough, despite my best efforts, and therefore probably a man.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Make your cock look 30% bigger by using the compact Lynx cans in your cock photos

70% bigger........

I like your honesty

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Rub cologne behind your ears after a shower.

When you kiss a woman on the cheek. They will smell it.

I notice elbows, but it's only because mine are incredibly rough, despite my best efforts, and therefore probably a man. "

My right elbow is always really soft. Every now and then my left wrinkles and goes rough. I must lean on it during sex or something

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By *imiUKMan
over a year ago

Hereford

Does "eau de Swarfega" work? Anyone?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Multiple veris from an army of fake bi-fem profiles, extolling your virtues

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I find tucking her hair behind her ears is a good start. In the lady on lady move stakes, anyway.

Oh I can see that... That's really quite sexy! "

It is when she's sucking on your cock too

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Any more Bro Tips?

I think Ligeia is winning this one

I knew I should have kept my mouth shut.

No, I love the fact the best bro tip by far has come from a woman

evil giggles

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By *atcherofmyballsMan
over a year ago

hereford

Eat garlic before a meet. Fart and pick your nose. They will think your wonderful

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Long nails with engrained dirt in them and your rough hands. Shows women that you're not afraid of putting your hands to good use, the love a handyman

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Don't forget your club to stun them with before dragging them back to your man cave

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I place my hand on their hand or knee... If they politely move away I don't go down the dirty route .

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By *atcherofmyballsMan
over a year ago

hereford

"Don't forget your club to stun them with before dragging them back to your man cave

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Cheeseville, Somerset

Slightly out of focus, arty style pics will hide all manner of evils - beer guts, wrinkles, oddly shaped cocks.

And if you make them B&W even better! It'll hide the sunburn on your bald spot and the dodgy vest marks from when you were trying the 'Suns out - guns out' pose down the garden centre without applying sunblock.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Slightly out of focus, arty style pics will hide all manner of evils - beer guts, wrinkles, oddly shaped cocks.

Bugger, you noticed

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Could always try the "Abraham Lincoln"

Shoot a load into the back of her head and then try to get out of the theatre before getting caught

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By *imiUKMan
over a year ago

Hereford

"Slightly out of focus, arty style pics will hide all manner of evils - beer guts, wrinkles, oddly shaped cocks.

Damn!

And, for what its worth, its a "farmer tan"

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Cheeseville, Somerset

"Slightly out of focus, arty style pics will hide all manner of evils - beer guts, wrinkles, oddly shaped cocks.

Damn!

And, for what its worth, its a "farmer tan"

Shit!!

I thought it was just me!

Sorry fellas - seems I've inadvertently blown our cover.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I find tucking her hair behind her ears is a good start. In the lady on lady move stakes, anyway.

I gave a girl the giggly shakes once when I did that once.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Show a picture of your cock to take attention away from your face.

Works every time. Gives them something else to laugh at.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I find tucking her hair behind her ears is a good start. In the lady on lady move stakes, anyway.

Ooh like that

Ooh me too x"

Not me, hate it, hand coming up toward my face will be blocked. Violent ex, can't stand hands On/near my face, ever.

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By *iSTARessWoman
over a year ago

London

"I find tucking her hair behind her ears is a good start. In the lady on lady move stakes, anyway.

What if we've both got short hair

Boys...be honest, clean and funny

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By *entaur_UKMan
over a year ago

Cannock

"Rub cologne behind your ears after a shower.

When you kiss a woman on the cheek. They will smell it.

I notice elbows, but it's only because mine are incredibly rough, despite my best efforts, and therefore probably a man. "

If i ever get to meet you anna i won't be looking at your elbows.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"If i ever get to meet you anna i won't be looking at your elbows.

She has elbows? Never noticed...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I find tucking her hair behind her ears is a good start. In the lady on lady move stakes, anyway.

Taking notes

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

"I find tucking her hair behind her ears is a good start. In the lady on lady move stakes, anyway.

Ooh like that

Ooh me too x

Not me, hate it, hand coming up toward my face will be blocked. Violent ex, can't stand hands On/near my face, ever.

I don't really like people messing around with my hair. I fear it's going to come out in clumps in their hand AND that they will make it all big and pouffy.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Don't wash your willie for two weeks before a meet, that way she can still find it if she is blind.

First message must include the phrase

" u up 4 a fuk now am hrd 4ur pussy"

...and the clincher... if the lady is part of a couple remember to ignore his existence completely. ..

Follow these rules and you will be knee deep in clunge fellas.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Could always try the "Abraham Lincoln"

Shoot a load into the back of her head and then try to get out of the theatre before getting caught

Quality! Lmfao

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Take your socks off with your jeans or suit trousers, to avoid The Socks look

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Take a share bag of Malteasers and Haribo, women do allsorts for these things

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By *nvictusMan
over a year ago

Beeston

Wear a fez at the first meet.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Make sure you've trimmed those eyebrows, ears and plucked your nostrils

Werewolf isn't in this year

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 24/06/15 09:19:38]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Make sure you've trimmed those eyebrows, ears and plucked your nostrils

Werewolf isn't in this year

I find the nostril hairs useful for a bit of whipping. A bit of pepper, then when you're sneezing you can flog her with them

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

Don't annoy her by staying in touch, just message her when you're horny on your day off.

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By *unky monkeyMan
over a year ago

in the night garden

Damn the bishes have found us!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Take your socks off with your jeans or suit trousers, to avoid The Socks look

This!!! That look is the worst lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I find tucking her hair behind her ears is a good start. In the lady on lady move stakes, anyway.

Would work for me.. men take note

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By *unky monkeyMan
over a year ago

in the night garden

I'm sharing one of my most closely guarded secrets to my success here guys.

SO NO TELLING THE CHICKS!!!

Bros I would like to introduce you to a little thing I like to call.......

!!!THE DINOSAUR COCK SHOT!!!

As every forum regular knows I have a team of researchers in my underground HQ/laboratory/skin factory that beaver away trying to give me the edge on those pesky ladies.

A little while ago now there was a massive break through. My scientists had hit upon a novel psychological trick. By taking my cock shots surrounded by small plastic toy dinosaurs it triggered an automatic reflex in the chicks (and ghey bros) where they assume that because my cock appears bigger than the dinosaurs subconsciously they actually think I have giant monster cock larger than a T Rex. This and this alone has cemented me as the legendary swordsman that I am.

You're welcome!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm sharing one of my most closely guarded secrets to my success here guys.

SO NO TELLING THE CHICKS!!!

Bros I would like to introduce you to a little thing I like to call.......

!!!THE DINOSAUR COCK SHOT!!!

As every forum regular knows I have a team of researchers in my underground HQ/laboratory/skin factory that beaver away trying to give me the edge on those pesky ladies.

You're welcome!

Off to look for dinosaurs ....

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By *nvictusMan
over a year ago

Beeston

"I'm sharing one of my most closely guarded secrets to my success here guys.

SO NO TELLING THE CHICKS!!!

Bros I would like to introduce you to a little thing I like to call.......

!!!THE DINOSAUR COCK SHOT!!!

As every forum regular knows I have a team of researchers in my underground HQ/laboratory/skin factory that beaver away trying to give me the edge on those pesky ladies.

You're welcome!

Off to look for dinosaurs ...."

I can take you back to the Plasticine Era in my time-machine if you like

Then again, I'm not sure we should be encouraging him with his raptor-cock stuff... It won't end well...

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By *unky monkeyMan
over a year ago

in the night garden

"I'm sharing one of my most closely guarded secrets to my success here guys.

SO NO TELLING THE CHICKS!!!

Bros I would like to introduce you to a little thing I like to call.......

!!!THE DINOSAUR COCK SHOT!!!

As every forum regular knows I have a team of researchers in my underground HQ/laboratory/skin factory that beaver away trying to give me the edge on those pesky ladies.

You're welcome!

Off to look for dinosaurs ....

I can take you back to the Plasticine Era in my time-machine if you like

Then again, I'm not sure we should be encouraging him with his raptor-cock stuff... It won't end well...

I thought it was my turn for the TM this weekend?

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Cheeseville, Somerset

"I'm sharing one of my most closely guarded secrets to my success here guys.

SO NO TELLING THE CHICKS!!!

Bros I would like to introduce you to a little thing I like to call.......

!!!THE DINOSAUR COCK SHOT!!!

As every forum regular knows I have a team of researchers in my underground HQ/laboratory/skin factory that beaver away trying to give me the edge on those pesky ladies.

You're welcome!

Off to look for dinosaurs ....

I can take you back to the Plasticine Era in my time-machine if you like

Then again, I'm not sure we should be encouraging him with his raptor-cock stuff... It won't end well...

Would plasticine dinosaurs work as well?

We've no toy dinosaurs sadly but I once made a scale model of Fraggle Rock out of plasticine - I'm sure I could knock up a brontosaurus in no time!

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By *r Man.Man
over a year ago

London

"Take your socks off with your jeans or suit trousers, to avoid The Socks look

Better still, don't wear them.

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By *nvictusMan
over a year ago

Beeston

"I'm sharing one of my most closely guarded secrets to my success here guys.

SO NO TELLING THE CHICKS!!!

Bros I would like to introduce you to a little thing I like to call.......

!!!THE DINOSAUR COCK SHOT!!!

As every forum regular knows I have a team of researchers in my underground HQ/laboratory/skin factory that beaver away trying to give me the edge on those pesky ladies.

You're welcome!

Off to look for dinosaurs ....

I can take you back to the Plasticine Era in my time-machine if you like

Then again, I'm not sure we should be encouraging him with his raptor-cock stuff... It won't end well...

I thought it was my turn for the TM this weekend?"

Well I suppose so...

But NO GLITTER!

And make sure yoy use the bog brush next time!

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By *izzy RascallMan
over a year ago

Cardiff

If your sharing a romantic bath, you know, candles, music, petals that kind of shit and nature calls and you need to fart.

Be polite and stand up to do it.

That rules applies to Ladies or Gentlemen.

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By *atcherofmyballsMan
over a year ago

hereford

"I'm sharing one of my most closely guarded secrets to my success here guys.

SO NO TELLING THE CHICKS!!!

Bros I would like to introduce you to a little thing I like to call.......

!!!THE DINOSAUR COCK SHOT!!!

As every forum regular knows I have a team of researchers in my underground HQ/laboratory/skin factory that beaver away trying to give me the edge on those pesky ladies.

You're welcome!

Off to look for dinosaurs ...."

A lady I know used a dinosaur toy, ended up with a megasoreass

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By *lashheartMan
over a year ago

shrewsbury

Be polite...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Try not being over nicey nicey, gets u nowhere, on here girls like a guy with an edge,

Hence my shite success rate ha

Defo gonna try that lynx tip though

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm sharing one of my most closely guarded secrets to my success here guys.

SO NO TELLING THE CHICKS!!!

Bros I would like to introduce you to a little thing I like to call.......

!!!THE DINOSAUR COCK SHOT!!!

As every forum regular knows I have a team of researchers in my underground HQ/laboratory/skin factory that beaver away trying to give me the edge on those pesky ladies.

You're welcome!

Off to look for dinosaurs ....

A lady I know used a dinosaur toy, ended up with a megasoreass "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I find tucking her hair behind her ears is a good start. In the lady on lady move stakes, anyway.

Ooh like that

Ooh me too x

Not me, hate it, hand coming up toward my face will be blocked. Violent ex, can't stand hands On/near my face, ever.

I don't really like people messing around with my hair. I fear it's going to come out in clumps in their hand AND that they will make it all big and pouffy.

Nor me... Especially if I have taken a while to style it... To then have a hand moving it about

pft

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Always open doors, and whilst walking through, gently put your hand on the base of my back to sort of "guide" me through

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By *unky monkeyMan
over a year ago

in the night garden

"I'm sure I could knock up a brontosaurus in no time!

You can't get Brontosaurs pregnant I've tried believe me!

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

"Always open doors, and whilst walking through, gently put your hand on the base of my back to sort of "guide" me through

Ooh yes - all little nonchalent touches are heavenly in my book!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Let the lady pay for the whole meal, and drinks all night. She will be frustrated and will think it's cost me a fortune I might as well get a shag out of it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When she's on top hold onto them breasts otherwise you could get hypnotised by the up and down motion.

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Cheeseville, Somerset

When meeting someone new for the first time always write their name on a post it note.

Then when you're doing them doggy style you can place said post it note on their back - and thus avoid a game of rodeo sex (trying to stay on for dear life) when you accidentally call them the wrong name.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I'm sure I could knock up a brontosaurus in no time!

You can't get Brontosaurs pregnant I've tried believe me!"

Genetically incompatible doesn't change just because you've a time machine

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By *unky monkeyMan
over a year ago

in the night garden

"I'm sure I could knock up a brontosaurus in no time!

You can't get Brontosaurs pregnant I've tried believe me!

Genetically incompatible doesn't change just because you've a time machine

Well I know that nowwwwww!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Stick a can of lynx down your trousers for erotically themes suit shots....

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Cheeseville, Somerset

"I'm sure I could knock up a brontosaurus in no time!

You can't get Brontosaurs pregnant I've tried believe me!

Genetically incompatible doesn't change just because you've a time machine

Well I know that nowwwwww!"

A lucky escape!!

In 18 years you could have had a herd of irate brontosauruses knocking on your door asking for years of backdated birthday and Xmas presents!!

Worst still they could have gone on JK and made you do a DNA test!

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By *ady LickWoman
over a year ago

Northampton Somewhere

If you accommodate buy some cake for after the sex. We're more likely to go again

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By *erbyDalesCplCouple
over a year ago

Derbyshire

A tip I learnt from Father Ted: let perspective be your friend. Put the remote/can of deodorant on the floor before you take a pic of your cock.

That isn't really Mrs ddc squirting, nor is that my big blue cock between her legs.

Sadly I was arrested trying to do my Nelson's column comparison

(curse those Japanese tourists)

Mr ddc

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You are just better being yourself. If someone is not going to like you for whatever reason, it's better that they find that out at the very beginning.

It is probably not the best game plan.

Did someone not get the Memo?"

Lol

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By *lue-greenMan
over a year ago

Taunton

"Make your cock look 30% bigger by using the compact Lynx cans in your cock photos

70% bigger........

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By *unky monkeyMan
over a year ago

in the night garden

"I'm sure I could knock up a brontosaurus in no time!

You can't get Brontosaurs pregnant I've tried believe me!

Genetically incompatible doesn't change just because you've a time machine

Well I know that nowwwwww!

A lucky escape!!

In 18 years you could have had a herd of irate brontosauruses knocking on your door asking for years of backdated birthday and Xmas presents!!

Worst still they could have gone on JK and made you do a DNA test!

LOL oh the shame. I live dinosaur paternity test on JK.

I'm just picturing Mrs. Brontosaur giving it 'all that' for the cameras, bitch!

Still, the backdated presents wouldn't be a problem they pretty much just like pebbles and leaves, that sort of pre-historic shit.

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

"When she's on top hold onto them breasts otherwise you could get hypnotised by the up and down motion."

Is that why men hang on to them? Doh!

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Cheeseville, Somerset

"When she's on top hold onto them breasts otherwise you could get hypnotised by the up and down motion.

Is that why men hang on to them? Doh!"

Of course not.

The men with small cocks hold them tightly so you don't fall off!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"A tip I learnt from Father Ted: let perspective be your friend. Put the remote/can of deodorant on the floor before you take a pic of your cock.

That isn't really Mrs ddc squirting, nor is that my big blue cock between her legs.

Sadly I was arrested trying to do my Nelson's column comparison

(curse those Japanese tourists)

Mr ddc"

There was someone in another thread doing this. His cock was three times the height of his head.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"When she's on top hold onto them breasts otherwise you could get hypnotised by the up and down motion.

Is that why men hang on to them? Doh!

Of course not.

The men with small cocks hold them tightly so you don't fall off!

This right here is the type of life skills so many men are missing.

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

"When she's on top hold onto them breasts otherwise you could get hypnotised by the up and down motion.

Is that why men hang on to them? Doh!

Of course not.

The men with small cocks hold them tightly so you don't fall off!

They can't fall off as they are securely pinned down under my magnificence.

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

"When she's on top hold onto them breasts otherwise you could get hypnotised by the up and down motion.

Is that why men hang on to them? Doh!

Of course not.

The men with small cocks hold them tightly so you don't fall off!

This right here is the type of life skills so many men are missing. "

Having seen the Obi cock pictures the word impaled comes to mind. If it's possible to fall off that thing then you'd better put crash mats down to break the fall.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"When she's on top hold onto them breasts otherwise you could get hypnotised by the up and down motion.

Is that why men hang on to them? Doh!

Of course not.

The men with small cocks hold them tightly so you don't fall off!

This right here is the type of life skills so many men are missing.

Having seen the Obi cock pictures the word impaled comes to mind. If it's possible to fall off that thing then you'd better put crash mats down to break the fall.

"
saunters off to have a look

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Always open doors for her to prove you're a gentleman, then at the last second jump through before her (preferably pushing her out of the way without hurting her, this will come with practice) and slam the door in her face to prove you're a real man and not a push over.

Again however be careful with the door slamming, women seem quite attached to their nose and for some strange reason detest it being broken.....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Treat 'em mean, treat them nicely

Talk loads, listen

Offer your opinion, agree with what she says...

Is that all clear?

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By *lashheartMan
over a year ago

shrewsbury

"If you accommodate buy some cake for after the sex. We're more likely to go again

Chocolate cake?....

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

"If you accommodate buy some cake for after the sex. We're more likely to go again

Nooo, I'm always on a lo-carb diet, I want scrambled eggs and fresh coffee in bed in the morning!!

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By *ady LickWoman
over a year ago

Northampton Somewhere

"If you accommodate buy some cake for after the sex. We're more likely to go again

Chocolate cake?.... "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Don't ask a woman out for a drink then when she arrives the first words to come out your mouth being....I forgot my wallet so you'll have to pay

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Don't ask a woman out for a drink then when she arrives the first words to come out your mouth being....I forgot my wallet so you'll have to pay

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"When she's on top hold onto them breasts otherwise you could get hypnotised by the up and down motion.

Is that why men hang on to them? Doh!

Of course not.

The men with small cocks hold them tightly so you don't fall off!

This right here is the type of life skills so many men are missing.

Having seen the Obi cock pictures the word impaled comes to mind. If it's possible to fall off that thing then you'd better put crash mats down to break the fall.

Donut Lickety?

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By *ady LickWoman
over a year ago

Northampton Somewhere

Brush up on how to use sex toys to maximum effect

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By *erbyDalesCplCouple
over a year ago

Derbyshire

Before sex, women like you to get them in the mood by whispering in their ear.

The two I use most commonly are:

"Do you need an asprin?"

and

"Are you awake?"

Mr ddc

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Before sex, women like you to get them in the mood by whispering in their ear.

The two I use most commonly are:

"Do you need an asprin?"

and

"Are you awake?"

Mr ddc"

You never fail to make me laugh

And to think Mrs ddc deserves a medal

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By *lashheartMan
over a year ago

shrewsbury

"If you accommodate buy some cake for after the sex. We're more likely to go again

Chocolate cake?....

You should see the cake I bought today..

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By *ady LickWoman
over a year ago

Northampton Somewhere

"If you accommodate buy some cake for after the sex. We're more likely to go again

Chocolate cake?....

You should see the cake I bought today.."

I had lemon cake

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