FabSwingers.com forum: Driving me nuts Help

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

A close family friends son Who is 30 is driving me insane. Keeps texting and calling. He has decided I am his current obsession. I have told him politely, gently and eventually to f**k off and leave me alone but he wont listen.

It's really worrying me as I know what he is like. He harrased his ex girlfriend so much she ended up in court.

It really upset his family and I dont want to put them through that again but it's getting to the point where i may have to go to the police.

If anyone has any suggestions I'd be grateful.

I have never encouraged him as it's the rest of the family I am close to never really had much to do with him.

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By *atisfy janeWoman
over a year ago

Torquay

Change your phone number?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Or give me his number il put him straight for you

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Change your phone number?"

Done that one already somehow he got hold of the new one. Probably from his mum so thats not going to work.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Or give me his number il put him straight for you

"
lol You never know I might have to take you up on that offer.

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

if you have tried all reasonable forms af asking him to leave you alone and it still hasnt happended then maybe you need to speak to someone in his family and ask them to speak to him.

at the end of the day you need to decide what is more important, not upsetting his family again and put up with his behaviour, or risk upsetting them in the short term to nip this behaviour in the bud.

It seems he has issues that need looking at so maybe you highlighting that it is happening again will spur his family into getting him some help

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

just ignore his texts... don't reply to any of them.

he may get the hint and/or bored.

good luck xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

ah i cud do with a stalker....may ask for one for christmas

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"A close family friends son Who is 30 is driving me insane. Keeps texting and calling. He has decided I am his current obsession. I have told him politely, gently and eventually to f**k off and leave me alone but he wont listen.

It's really worrying me as I know what he is like. He harrased his ex girlfriend so much she ended up in court.

It really upset his family and I dont want to put them through that again but it's getting to the point where i may have to go to the police.

If anyone has any suggestions I'd be grateful.

I have never encouraged him as it's the rest of the family I am close to never really had much to do with him."

I had very similar problem, I ended up talking to the police!

Their advice was change my number, or block his number, failing that, completely ignore his texts/calls, does not matter what type of response he gets as long as he gets one! I was rejecting his calls when my phone rang, the police told me not to but to let it go on to voice mail and then delete them. Lack of response from me may have made him think I had changed my number and he gave up after a few days. I did not read his texts or listen to his voice mails, I simply deleted....it was very easy to do as his attention was very much unwanted.

Hope this helps....Kx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Tell him to fuck off once more and if that still doesn't work then do the same as his ex g/f did and bollox with what his family think about it

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By *oe_Steve_NWestCouple
over a year ago

Bolton

I would have a quiet word with his parents, if they're really good friends of yours then they will be fine - he isn't a child though and needs to be dealt with as an adult even though he is your friends son. He is continuing to harass you because you are allowing him to by doing nothing. He sounds like he could be pretty dangerous as this isn't normal behaviour and as he has done it before he really needs help. He may have done this to other women that no one else knows about. Good luck as that can't be a good situation to be in. Z

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Thanks guys. Took the bull by the horn this morning and spoke to his mum. Understandably she was a tad upset. But more angry with her son. They are going to try and deal with it. In the meantime I am going to continue to ignore him if he contacts me.

Hopefully this will help

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

"Thanks guys. Took the bull by the horn this morning and spoke to his mum. Understandably she was a tad upset. But more angry with her son. They are going to try and deal with it. In the meantime I am going to continue to ignore him if he contacts me.

Hopefully this will help"

well done and fingers crossed.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

hope it works out for you, a very scary thing to happen

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

yes well done in talking to his mum, you did say that you didn't want to upset them but if you had gone to the police BEFORE having a chat with her i think she would have been more upset that you felt you could not talk to her first. I hope it all works out for you and the troubled young man too.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

cant u tell ur friend an they

can see to him xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I was just wondering how the obsession started?

If he was prone to this kind of behavior, and you already new about the ex gf, did you keep your distance?

I'm not blaming just wondering what he considers you may have done to encourage him, simply because I am having a not dissimilar situation myself, and am at a loss to understand what the trigger was?

Please don't take this as I am blaming you, I am not, there is no excuse for this harrassment.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"yes well done in talking to his mum, you did say that you didn't want to upset them but if you had gone to the police BEFORE having a chat with her i think she would have been more upset that you felt you could not talk to her first. I hope it all works out for you and the troubled young man too. "

Just spotted this thread.

Agree with the above post: I think your friend would have been more upset if you'd gone to the police beforehand instead of talking to her.

It's not your fault, and obviously her son needs professional help of some kind as this obssession in not normal.

Hope it all works well for you.

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By *nvictusMan
over a year ago

Beeston

I would try completely ignoring calls and texts first and see where that goes. Keep the messages just in case though.

Next stage is to talk to his family I would say.

Good luck with it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You just need a man and a van ...simples

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I was just wondering how the obsession started?

If he was prone to this kind of behavior, and you already new about the ex gf, did you keep your distance?

I'm not blaming just wondering what he considers you may have done to encourage him, simply because I am having a not dissimilar situation myself, and am at a loss to understand what the trigger was?

Please don't take this as I am blaming you, I am not, there is no excuse for this harrassment."

I have no idea really, I had not seen him in years and he was at a family party. Next thing I know after one conversation with him included in a group of friends I started getting messages. I have no idea where he got my original number from. Although i did ask him mum if she gave it to him and she didn't. But she does leave her mobile laying around.

The messages were rude I told him to get lost and its gone downhill from there. I was never alone with him at any point and have definatly not encouraged him.

I didn't know about the previous harrasment as they kept it within the family apparantly. And I kept my distance anyway.

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By *ouple1234Couple
over a year ago

BELFAST UK

sounds like a job for a few men to pay him a visit and have a wee 'word' with him

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