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By *inaTitzTV/TS
over a year ago
Titz Towers, North Notts |
Forsooth! How on earth did I miss this? ?
Let me tell you how!
I was busy last night out on a jaunt on my magical flying carpet over to see a Mr Evans, about nicking my job, the git! I thought I was in with a shout for Top Gear, as I'd made a really strong pitch, given the Director General a few black jacks, given Corporal Punishment a spank and Major Disaster a wave.
My pitch was great.
We go on a tour of dogging sites in various cars to see which ones are best for dogging. Is it the ones where you can get all the seats down in 2 minutes, the estate with plenty of room or a topless car to enable wondering hands. We could then modify the cars, having a van with sex swing, a 4x4 with dungeon and then a cop car to ensure privacy. They weren't overawed by this, to be honest, citing taste. However, it would be done in the best possible taste!
I also wanted to ditch The Stig, in favour of The Shag! He takes people out round the circuit, shares Haribo and tries to inveigle them into taking him behind the bushes of Penge for a milking session. That seemed to be a winner to me. The same with the Swinger with the reasonably priced sex toy, seeing how often they could cum before it got burnt out. That ran into watershed problems, as did my idea about the one man shed gang bang crew watersports feature.
I'd even purchased a selection of Leopard Print tops to go with my co-stars on the sofa, which would have had a revamp. Instead of a table balanced on a cut down V8, we would have balanced it on a sub. Talking cars would have gone out the window, instead it would be all about who's said what on the forum. Much more interesting!
However, nope, none of this came to pass. Instead, I'll just go back to the mundane job of trying to take over the world, whilst checking if the oven is warm enough to put my fishfingers in for dinner.  |