FabSwingers.com forum: Over Cautious?

By *ilmiss75 OP Woman
over a year ago

Thornton

When it comes to chatting with a view to meeting new people.. Do you think your ever over cautious?

I used to have the 'Well were all here for the same thing' attitude but just lately i feel kinda scared in a way of new meets and think far to much into the 'What if...' Scenarios.

Like all single fems on here i get quite a number of mail... Fair few are complete shite but some are good and i think 'Yes, id like to meet' that person.

Then it starts... But what if they know me? What if they recognise me but i dont them? What if they come in my work? What if they tell other people that come in my work?

Am i just over thinking things? Paranoid... Being over cautious and stopping myself having a bloody good time?

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By *iamondjoeMan
over a year ago

Glastonbury

No, not at all OP.

I operate a 5 mile exclusion principle and do my best hunting in London.

I do not want to bump in to ex-fucks unless it's by appointment.

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By *G CoupleCouple
over a year ago

kent

We are over cautious but have been bitten too many times in the past so probably wont be changing anytime soon

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By *obbytupperMan
over a year ago

Menston near Ilkley

I am often less than cautious and have found although sometimes it's a wind up, other times have turned out to be incredibly good meets.

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By *ilmiss75 OP Woman
over a year ago

Thornton

"I am often less than cautious and have found although sometimes it's a wind up, other times have turned out to be incredibly good meets."

What do you mean a wind up?

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By *atcherofmyballsMan
over a year ago

hereford

5 miles would be no good around here you need at least 50

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Like others, I don't meet people in my local area if I can help it. I use my instinct for most things. Spend time chatting over messages and see how it feels. Arrange for coffee, no play, meet in a public place. Be careful with the personal info you give. Have a phone for fab only. You can do all of the above and there's still a chance that things can go wrong. Its all about managing risk rather than eliminating it.

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By *dwalu2Couple
over a year ago

Bristol

"Like others, I don't meet people in my local area if I can help it. I use my instinct for most things. Spend time chatting over messages and see how it feels. Arrange for coffee, no play, meet in a public place. Be careful with the personal info you give. Have a phone for fab only. You can do all of the above and there's still a chance that things can go wrong. Its all about managing risk rather than eliminating it. "

Yes, spot on.

No doubt in our minds that we've avoided meeting genuine people on here due to being super cautious, but we all make our own choices and that's really all there is to it.

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By *issmorganWoman
over a year ago

Calderdale innit

I think being cautious is no bad thing on here,not everyone is what they seem.As others have said trust your instinct and you won't go far wrong .

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By *obert and JaneCouple
over a year ago

Tamworth

It's ok to be paranoid.

But, are you being paranoid enough??

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By *igeiaWoman
over a year ago

Bristol

I'm cautious and won't meet locally for similar reasons to those listed above. I am well aware that I may be missing out on some fun times that don't necessitate meticulous logistical planning as a result but on balance it's the only way I can play without being terrified I'll bump into someone at work for example who is less discreet about where they know me from than I would be comfortable with.

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By *ilmiss75 OP Woman
over a year ago

Thornton

"It's ok to be paranoid.

But, are you being paranoid enough??"

What do you mean by paranoid enough?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"No, not at all OP.

I operate a 5 mile exclusion principle and do my best hunting in London.

I do not want to bump in to ex-fucks unless it's by appointment. "

I'm the same

Local is good, too local not so

I get a fair few messages from guys within a mile of me, we must all be horny fuckers round here

but I would never meet anyone that close, I don't want to bump into them while out with my kids, I've been messaging one guy for months now, we chat a lot but I just wouldn't meet him as he's within half a mile and that's just way to close

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's probably better to be over-cautious than not cautious enough, although I'm totally guilty of doing a "what-if" spiral as well.

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

Chatting never implies that you'll meet, so I'll chat to seemingly compatible people, towards getting a possible meet, but it may end at any point.

If I become suspect of them, their suitability, honesty etc, then I become more cautious and may stop interacting.

When I feel it's right to meet, then I may stop at a social meet or decide how to continue, if at all. If my gut instinct says it's wrong to pursue interest, then I'll likely stop.

Never feel pressured by yourself to live up to others' expectations, nor be pressured by anyone, because it's the 'final day of the sale' etc. It isn't worth it and I don't do anything that causes stress rather than excitement.

If your security is at risk, then take much stronger measures to protect yourself. Have others know who you're meeting, where you're at, have calls to ensure you're safe.

If you're not interested in meeting, it's also fine to take a break and just enjoy things socially, or move away for a while. There should be no pressure to do what you've done before or do anything that you're not interested in at any point.

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