FabSwingers.com forum: Amusing turns of phrase..

By *olarfox OP Man
over a year ago

North Cambs

Some people have a hilarious way with words..

I well remember a foxy Northern lass once describing anal sex as 'like doing a shit backwards' lmaof

Any expressions/witty descriptions that stick in your mind?

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Cheeseville, Somerset

Mad as a bucket of frogs.

Who keeps frogs in a bucket and why would it be mad to do so? And is it the action of keeping frogs in a bucket that is mad or the frogs themselves?

I need another coffee.

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By *olarfox OP Man
over a year ago

North Cambs

"Mad as a bucket of frogs.

Who keeps frogs in a bucket and why would it be mad to do so? And is it the action of keeping frogs in a bucket that is mad or the frogs themselves?

I need another coffee.

I always thought it was 'mad as a box of frogs'...not sure it makes any difference though, still equally baffling...cute expression though

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Do like a good chuckle whilst on my second coffee waking up, tickled me reading them

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By *lorious hole bs16Man
over a year ago

Bristol

Rough as a badgers arse...

Who has tried one??

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Its a box of frogs up here...

You will never hang yaself is something I say to my daughter when she changes her mind...she always says but why would I do that

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Dry as a nuns cunt

Has anyone ever explored one to find out?

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By *olarfox OP Man
over a year ago

North Cambs

Baffling ones...'cheap at half the price'....of course it would be

. Why don't we say 'cheap at twice the price'??

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I heard someone describe an individual's looks as "looks like a bulldog licking the piss off a thistle".

Also "looks like they've been bobbing for chips in a deep fat fryer".

Neither phrase exactly complimentary, but do paint a picture....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Tight as a ducks arse! Whos ever researched that particular phenomenon?

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By *atcherofmyballsMan
over a year ago

hereford

How can anybody be so stupid with only one brain.

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By *ev-PMan
over a year ago

Hampshire

Its like 'Farting against Thunder' ... you'll never win.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Sick as a chip" is one of my favourites, which makes pretty much no sense.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Chewing a wasp

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By *rank EinsteinMan
over a year ago

Burton upon stather

"Mad as a bucket of frogs.

Who keeps frogs in a bucket and why would it be mad to do so? And is it the action of keeping frogs in a bucket that is mad or the frogs themselves?

I need another coffee.

I've been described as that before buying a southern friend

At a friends years ago and we're all eating ice cream and watching a film and his missus suddenly comes out with

"it's so much better when it's sloppy"

Leading to us guys wetting ourselves

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By *olgateMan
over a year ago

on the road to nowhere in particular

"Baffling ones...'cheap at half the price'....of course it would be

. Why don't we say 'cheap at twice the price'??

This one I know, it's called irony.

C...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Tight as a ducks arse! Whos ever researched that particular phenomenon? "
Cos a duck's arse is water tight

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Face like a slapped arse

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By *thwalescplCouple
over a year ago

brecon

"Baffling ones...'cheap at half the price'....of course it would be

. Why don't we say 'cheap at twice the price'??

The correct version of that is indeed "Cheap at twice the price".

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By *iamondjoeMan
over a year ago

Glastonbury

'Rougher than a Frenchman's underpants' is one I use quite often

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By *iamondjoeMan
over a year ago

Glastonbury

And my granny was keen on saying that something was 'colder than a witch's tit'.

Always liked that.

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By *lik and PaulCouple
over a year ago

Flagrante

"Dripping like a fucked fridge"...... makes me cringe hearing that one

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By *ancs MinxWoman
over a year ago

Burnley

Eat hey with a donkey

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Tight as a ducks arse! Whos ever researched that particular phenomenon? "

Assume they are water tight?

Wet as an otters pocket......sure people can guess which anatomical lady feature that refers to.

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By *iamondjoeMan
over a year ago

Glastonbury

"Dimmer than a 2 watt light bulb in a powercut"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Stop that crying before I give you something to cry about... Confused me as a child!! P.

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By *hunderstruckMan
over a year ago

Northampton

An old plumber used to say when he saw someone smiling or grinning

Hes like a dog with two cocks !!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

And, I'll take my hand off your face..... Not a problem, it was the high speed application to my face that hurt!! P.

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By *uxom redCouple
over a year ago

Shrewsbury

''Whip me strip me and call me Barbra '' was a popular phase at college .

So was ''Fuck me backwards''

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm going to fuck that arse till it resembles a hippo's nostril"

Who said chivalry was dead?

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By *errygTV/TS
over a year ago

denton

i was in a shop last week some folk use the word cock as a endearment, a lad when he heard the word cock, said you like what in your mouth, im dying to try that one myself when i hear it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If the wind changes your face will stay like that!

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By *ickawitchCouple
over a year ago

Away with the fairies (Liverpool to you)

Don't come crying to me when you fall and kill yourself

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By *ickawitchCouple
over a year ago

Away with the fairies (Liverpool to you)

"i was in a shop last week some folk use the word cock as a endearment, a lad when he heard the word cock, said you like what in your mouth, im dying to try that one myself when i hear it"

I get that sometimes in work.....usually from a man who lives/works in Halifax 'hiya cock can I have more stuff sending out?'

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By *errygTV/TS
over a year ago

denton

"i was in a shop last week some folk use the word cock as a endearment, a lad when he heard the word cock, said you like what in your mouth, im dying to try that one myself when i hear it

I get that sometimes in work.....usually from a man who lives/works in Halifax 'hiya cock can I have more stuff sending out?'

"
why dont say yes fanny, or say whats is a inch long

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By *iamondjoeMan
over a year ago

Glastonbury

Another from my nan, which I never understood:

"As black as Newgate knocker"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Another from my nan, which I never understood:

"As black as Newgate knocker""

Maybe because it's racist.

Must have been something about the door knockers in the area of Newgate at one time, but they but it would seem that they were particularly black.

The phrase itself was used to describe someone of, shall we say, a particular ethnicity.

Context : 'Ooh you should have seen him, he was as black as a newgate knocker'

Once had a mate tell me that an old ex-girlfriend of mine looked like she was chewing a wasp

And as for the frogs. I keep mine in a box

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I might have read it on here but I was pissing myself with laughter for half an hour when I read that Joe Pasquale has a voice like a demented helium balloon.

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By *opinovMan
over a year ago

Point Nemo, Cumbria

"Long term economic plan"... fucking bullshit!.. self-serving head towel folder's personal tax dodging and nest-feathering plan more like... cunt!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Another from my nan, which I never understood:

"As black as Newgate knocker"

Maybe because it's racist.

Must have been something about the door knockers in the area of Newgate at one time, but they but it would seem that they were particularly black.

The phrase itself was used to describe someone of, shall we say, a particular ethnicity.

Context : 'Ooh you should have seen him, he was as black as a newgate knocker'

Once had a mate tell me that an old ex-girlfriend of mine looked like she was chewing a wasp

And as for the frogs. I keep mine in a box"

I don't believe it's racist. My nan used to say it to me if I came in covered in mud. It can also be used to describe someone's character. It comes from the door handles of Newgate prison which obviously we're black but was also associated as a place of death. My nan would also say "He has a heart like a Newgate knocker"

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By *olarfox OP Man
over a year ago

North Cambs

""Dripping like a fucked fridge"...... makes me cringe hearing that one

I've not heard that one before lol...that's positively revolting but great all the same lmao

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By *iamondjoeMan
over a year ago

Glastonbury

"Another from my nan, which I never understood:

"As black as Newgate knocker"

Maybe because it's racist.

Must have been something about the door knockers in the area of Newgate at one time, but they but it would seem that they were particularly black.

The phrase itself was used to describe someone of, shall we say, a particular ethnicity.

Context : 'Ooh you should have seen him, he was as black as a newgate knocker'

Once had a mate tell me that an old ex-girlfriend of mine looked like she was chewing a wasp

And as for the frogs. I keep mine in a box"

That might explain it. She was a wonderful, wobbly little old racist.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Dry as a nuns cunt

Has anyone ever explored one to find out?"

no but i bet they arent

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By *olarfox OP Man
over a year ago

North Cambs

"Dry as a nuns cunt

Has anyone ever explored one to find out?

no but i bet they arent

lol

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

"Mad as a bucket of frogs.

Who keeps frogs in a bucket and why would it be mad to do so? And is it the action of keeping frogs in a bucket that is mad or the frogs themselves?

I need another coffee.

I always thought it was 'mad as a box of frogs'...not sure it makes any difference though, still equally baffling...cute expression though

I've heard box of frogs and wheelbarrow of frogs.

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

S/he's been sucking on an onion again, which would get shortened to onion face. It's that sort of pursed and disdainful look.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Once heard someones sense of humour as , as sharp as a sack of wet mice

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By *olarfox OP Man
over a year ago

North Cambs

'I'd give my eye teeth'....I always thought (up until a very short time ago) that the expression was 'hind teeth' and always wondered what the fuck those were...

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By *appyguy17Man
over a year ago

walthamstow

"work is the curse of the drinking classes"

For those who drink a lot and don't work.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"jobs a fish" er.....what?!

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By *iamondjoeMan
over a year ago

Glastonbury

"The Road of Excess leads to the Palace of Wisdom"

William Blake

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By *iscomanMan
over a year ago

Solihull

Wait your, mother waited nine months for you

You impatient fucker

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

my old gaffer used to point to any bodge job and say it fitted as well as a cock in a shirt sleeve

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

sweating like a fat lass in greggs - could be an accurate description of larger ladies in a hot bakers

pissed as a newt - when did newts get a reputation for heavy drinking

stuffed with a rag mans trumpet - never git this one

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By *azNdavCouple
over a year ago

barnsley

"Tighter than a camels arse in a sand storm"

" missed that's by a gnats naker"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If something was close I've heard it described as missed by a bugs willy.....

A large quantity is a shedload of stuff ...... That spread from St Helens to surrounding areas and now further. It came from mis hearing a road traffic report about a shed load of scaffolding blocking the road as it had been shed from a lorry.

We started using the term as kids....but it caught on and spread.

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By *alandNitaCouple
over a year ago

Scunthorpe

Shirley is came from have a load of stuff in a shed ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Shaking like a shitting dog"

always gives me a giggle

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

shaking like a shitting dog..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Feeling like I'm juggling soot here

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By *azNdavCouple
over a year ago

barnsley

Shirley is came from have a load of stuff in a shed ?"

It did and don't call me Shirley

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By *imiUKMan
over a year ago

Hereford

""Long term economic plan"... fucking bullshit!.. self-serving head towel folder's personal tax dodging and nest-feathering plan more like... cunt!

So its nothing like "glorious five-year plan" then?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Face like a bulldog chewing a wasp.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Another from my nan, which I never understood:

"As black as Newgate knocker"

Maybe because it's racist.

Must have been something about the door knockers in the area of Newgate at one time, but they but it would seem that they were particularly black.

The phrase itself was used to describe someone of, shall we say, a particular ethnicity.

Context : 'Ooh you should have seen him, he was as black as a newgate knocker'

Once had a mate tell me that an old ex-girlfriend of mine looked like she was chewing a wasp

And as for the frogs. I keep mine in a box

That might explain it. She was a wonderful, wobbly little old racist. "

I was told the expression goes by "blacker then a Newgate DOCKER" due to him unloading / loading bags of coat and being covered in black dust. So not racist at all. The frog saying is "madder then a BOX of frogs". Based from little boys collecting frogs and keeping them in a box. The frogs of course hated being trapped in a box and were heard going mad inside it. I guess anyone would lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Another from my nan, which I never understood:

"As black as Newgate knocker"

Maybe because it's racist.

Must have been something about the door knockers in the area of Newgate at one time, but they but it would seem that they were particularly black.

The phrase itself was used to describe someone of, shall we say, a particular ethnicity.

Context : 'Ooh you should have seen him, he was as black as a newgate knocker'

Once had a mate tell me that an old ex-girlfriend of mine looked like she was chewing a wasp

And as for the frogs. I keep mine in a box

That might explain it. She was a wonderful, wobbly little old racist.

Lol bags of coal! Not coats. Damn auto correct lol lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Another from my nan, which I never understood:

"As black as Newgate knocker"

Maybe because it's racist.

Must have been something about the door knockers in the area of Newgate at one time, but they but it would seem that they were particularly black.

The phrase itself was used to describe someone of, shall we say, a particular ethnicity.

Context : 'Ooh you should have seen him, he was as black as a newgate knocker'

Once had a mate tell me that an old ex-girlfriend of mine looked like she was chewing a wasp

And as for the frogs. I keep mine in a box

That might explain it. She was a wonderful, wobbly little old racist.

Lol bags of coal! Not coats. Damn auto correct lol lol"

Where is Newgate docks ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Another from my nan, which I never understood:

"As black as Newgate knocker"

Maybe because it's racist.

Must have been something about the door knockers in the area of Newgate at one time, but they but it would seem that they were particularly black.

The phrase itself was used to describe someone of, shall we say, a particular ethnicity.

Context : 'Ooh you should have seen him, he was as black as a newgate knocker'

Once had a mate tell me that an old ex-girlfriend of mine looked like she was chewing a wasp

And as for the frogs. I keep mine in a box

That might explain it. She was a wonderful, wobbly little old racist.

Lol bags of coal! Not coats. Damn auto correct lol lol

Where is Newgate docks ? "

London I believe

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Side me'sen o'er" meaning to fall over. And "calm yer passions" ....calm down

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We still use 'bent as a 9 bob note'

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Let the dog see the rabbit!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

""Dripping like a fucked fridge"...... makes me cringe hearing that one

I've not heard that one before lol...that's positively revolting but great all the same lmao

Made me chuckle.

Him

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By *iamondjoeMan
over a year ago

Glastonbury

As my boss says:

"That went down like a fart in a space suit"

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By *azNdavCouple
over a year ago

barnsley

" she's that frigid when she opens her legs a light comes on "

" As Much use as a chocolate fire guard"

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

I have a friend who described a grumpy woman as 'Having a face like a chewed up toffee' that always makes me giggle!

I love 'Sod that for a game of soldiers!' too.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

To describe someone / something 'over fragrant'...

Smells like the inside of a tarts handbag.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Another from my nan, which I never understood:

"As black as Newgate knocker"

Maybe because it's racist.

Must have been something about the door knockers in the area of Newgate at one time, but they but it would seem that they were particularly black.

The phrase itself was used to describe someone of, shall we say, a particular ethnicity.

Context : 'Ooh you should have seen him, he was as black as a newgate knocker'

Once had a mate tell me that an old ex-girlfriend of mine looked like she was chewing a wasp

And as for the frogs. I keep mine in a box

That might explain it. She was a wonderful, wobbly little old racist.

Lol bags of coal! Not coats. Damn auto correct lol lol

Where is Newgate docks ?

London I believe "

Newgate is in the city about a mile from any water and about five miles from the nearest docks.

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