FabSwingers.com forum: relationship break up

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

What do you do ?...feeling worthless and devastated right now. .hope do you cope?

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By *imon_hydeMan
over a year ago

Stockport

At first you don't cope and then after a few days it gets easier. Gets to the point where you just think of your ex as that twat. You're fine then!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Took me a while but you start fogetting the good times and realising the bad things are why you probably broke up

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Out weight the good and bad and go from there, if bad comes tops, your half way there.

Her

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What do you do ?...feeling worthless and devastated right now. .hope do you cope?

Sorry to hear, but yeah time heals, remember the good bits and the bad bits fade.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What do you do ?...feeling worthless and devastated right now. .hope do you cope?

Just find something or someone to take your mind off it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Awww they are the worst no matter who ends it.

Time is a great healer.

In the meantime cry for 3 days max! Then get busy doing anything that takes your mind off it.

Good luck

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Time is the only thing that's going to help ...it takes time and you learn to live with things. Big hugs xxxxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Get some Ben and Jerry's and if it ended badly burn some of their stuff. Time heals and make sure you have people around you that can support you And don't make any rational decisions while upset

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Ok ..we'd been together only 14 months but I didn't see it coming !!...I suppose living 170 miles away was the problem and he tried ..guess he didn't love me enough ...

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By *L RogueMan
over a year ago

London

You'll be fine!

Give yourself time, keep busy and take things step by step. Also, treat yourself.

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By *bfoxxxMan
over a year ago

Crete or LANCASTER

Pick yourself up,

Dust yourself down,

Start allover again. . .

You've come to the right place.

Fall off your bike, get back on.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

...so many emotions to cope with. .fuck its hard !!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Big hugs

I've recently become single after being married 24 years

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

time is the greatest healer - never a truer saying x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Ok ..we'd been together only 14 months but I didn't see it coming !!...I suppose living 170 miles away was the problem and he tried ..guess he didn't love me enough ..."
in your head your going to go over things again and again and will drive you nuts ....we live and learn .....so you don't be to hard on yourself it takes two and maybe one day you will find the mr right. The passed has been and gone and life it moves on.xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Shag someone else. That's how I got over my 4 year relationship. And daydream about setting his house on fire with him still in it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Ok ..we'd been together only 14 months but I didn't see it coming !!...I suptose living 170 miles away was the problem and he tried ..guess he didn't love me enough ..."

Aww, it feels worse when you didn't see the signs. In time though, when you're able to look back at the relationship more objectively - you'll see that certain little signs were there. There are always signs - for whatever reason, we can't or subconsciously don't want to see them.

It hurts but eventually you'll see it as a learning curve, realise you're wiser because of it, then take what you've learned into your next relationship, enabling you to see things for what they are. Whether good or bad x

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By *ain n MableWoman
over a year ago

Milton Keynes

The best way to get over someone, is to get under someone else.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 01/06/15 12:16:43]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The best way to get over someone, is to get under someone else. "
true . Lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Its different for each person and also depending on your own circumstances. If you have children together, family connections etc., it may be harder to let go. Its never easy.

FWIW (and if you can) cut all contact. No facebook, twitter, texts, calls etc. The die has been cast and if there is no going back, because of what has happened, then treat the other person as if they were dead to you. Its very hard to do, because you want to seek them out and initially crave the contact that you used to have. Simply put, don't go looking for that person and tell them not to look for you.

When you love someone and they betray that love, it very easily turns to hate - and that's a destructive force you don't need inside you long term. The more contact you have, the more it fuels those feelings and eventually it turns inward and forever alters you. Or you end up caught in their gravity, bound to entropy and decay, wishing for something that will never happen and ultimately destroying yourself.

But everyone is different. It sucks OP. It hurts like a sonofabitch and its shitty that the only way out is through.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I know everything you're all saying makes sense ..guess I'm just looking for the same advice id be giving out ..its just very fresh and raw at the moment xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The best way to get over someone, is to get under someone else. "
Agreed, get back in the saddle!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Being honest

dont jump into bed with people as the rebound theory doesnt work

take time to remember the good times but also the reason why it ended.

gradually you will get over him/her and things will get into place again x

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By *attyBWoman
over a year ago

Dunstable/Luton

"Ok ..we'd been together only 14 months but I didn't see it coming !!...I suppose living 170 miles away was the problem and he tried ..guess he didn't love me enough ..."

I am going through the same thing....my ex & I split in March for no reason, he said he needed to be by himself after house hunting together and me foing for job interviews near where were going to live....we lived only 40miles apart but still made it tough!

I have been out with friends and got d*unk, done some flirting and actually went on a date but it felt weird being with someone else when my heart still belongs to my ex.

Time will eventually heal the wounds but you just beed to ride the storm, rediscover who you are and have time for yourself to do the things you want to do.

Hope it helps in someway xx

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By *ain n MableWoman
over a year ago

Milton Keynes

"The best way to get over someone, is to get under someone else. Agreed, get back in the saddle!

Jesus, what kind of sex do you like? Ha.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Was it a person from here? I know loads who get close but really don't know the real person as it's different from meeting here and 100s of miles away.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Shag someone else. That's how I got over my 4 year relationship. And daydream about setting his house on fire with him still in it

Wouldnt wana mess with you then

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Shag someone else. That's how I got over my 4 year relationship. And daydream about setting his house on fire with him still in it

Wouldnt wana mess with you then

Just day dreams. Not a real life arsonist

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Shag someone else. That's how I got over my 4 year relationship. And daydream about setting his house on fire with him still in it

Wouldnt wana mess with you then

Just day dreams. Not a real life arsonist

I have list of fun things to do with a can of builders foam though.

Non lethal but very inconveniencing

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think to start with you have to just let yourself feel the pain. You need to be extra kind to yourself - can you book something to look forward to? Talk to your close friends about how you are feeling to get your emotions out. Better to let things out than hold them in. Time really does heal, which doesn't help right now, but it truly does.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

6 years on and it's only the last year or so I can think of my ex with neutral feelings. I've got a child with him and we were together 10 years so I still have to be in contact with him and see him though most of our communication is done through his parents. They pick my daughter up and drop her off, very rarely I see him.

Time does heal, let yourself have a little mope and a cry but remember you won't feel like that forever.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

They say the best way to get over sum one is to get under sum one.....hope that made u smile...chin up things will get better

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By *issmorganWoman
over a year ago

Calderdale innit

Op do whatever you need to,give yourself time and be kind to yourself.Hope you start feeling better soon,hugs x

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Just wanted to thank everyone who messaged me on here and privately ...some great advice and lots of kind helpful people ...I know I'll bounce back ..its the bit before that's bloody hard and trying to cope with the many emotions that comes with it ...xx

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By *aneandpaulCouple
over a year ago

cleveleys

Never had to go though it we were child hood sweethearts only ever been with each other till we started swinging but had plenty since we started

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By *ilacWoman
over a year ago

Cheshire

"What do you do ?...feeling worthless and devastated right now. .hope do you cope?

Hugs to you.

If you need someone to chat to, a distraction, some sympathy. You're free to message me.

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By *jandjbCouple
over a year ago

Nr Manchester

Time heals is a bit of a platitude, even if true. My advice is also hackneyed but I would say you get through it one day stuff a time.

Please speak to friends if it helps, but decide and agree it won't dominate 100% of your time with them.

Good luck.

Him

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By *untimes6969Man
over a year ago

Newcastle upon Tyne

"Shag someone else. That's how I got over my 4 year relationship. And daydream about setting his house on fire with him still in it

Wouldnt wana mess with you then

Just day dreams. Not a real life arsonist

Better than nightmares!!

Just take it easy and enjoy yourself!

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By *nvictusMan
over a year ago

Beeston

It's tough but it does get better with time. There will be lots of 3am's to get through and times you just can't see a future, but it will happen.

I only started to feel better when I let my ex know how angry I was with her. We have both now moved on and are now friends again, but it is still an inspoken sadness between us.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I never believed when I was told time healed, ur hurting now but in time it will get better blah blah!.

But do you know it did, I'm loving my life now and when I look back get a hollow feeling.

He's like a used toy, I gave him up for a lady less fortunate and I'm glad I did

. And having recently seen a picture of him on the social media we love must say I've come out of it better! I wonder what I did see him him all those years.

Cry, scream, shout, go on a girly night with your friends.

One day soon u will just wake up and think, up time to move on and you will.

Best wishes Hun been there so know how it hurts xx

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By *each_PittWoman
over a year ago

Belfast

"What do you do ?...feeling worthless and devastated right now. .hope do you cope?

I read a self help book "It's Called a Break-up Because it's Broken". Helped me through a very difficult time.

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By *isscheekychopsWoman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

All I can say is don't go back you broke up for a reason and in instances where they go back and forth like yoyo turn out to be the most destructive type of relationship

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By *isscheekychopsWoman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

Your heart will heal and I always say in life we have to dance in the rain to see the sunshine x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You'll go through a lot of emotions. You will cope with them and eventually stop thinking about the stuff that hurts. You may never get over him but you will move on with your life. I kept myself busy after my 30 relationship ended. We are now on friendly terms and he has someone else. I still feel sad some days but it doesn't hurt so much.

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