FabSwingers.com forum: Does anyone actually message men?

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Hi, so this is my second attempt on fabswingers with no luck before, used to mail women (not in the pervy way) and I just wouldn't get replies. But I did notice women don't mail first. Is this the case with others?

Thanks

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hiya

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

usually other men

but all is welcome,if you know how to chat and have a laugh

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't have that problem

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've had a few, lead to meeting some really nice ladies

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Whey hey! Thanks Lisa, my first reply! Haha

Yeah I'm always up for a laugh fetishman, just no one gives me a chance haha

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Most of the mail I recieve comes through the forum but I still get a the odd one every now and then.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I assumed it was because there are a lot more men on here than women

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By *o30Woman
over a year ago

Lincoln

"Most of the mail I recieve comes through the forum but I still get a the odd one every now and then. "
I just want to know how I didn't see you?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Hi, so this is my second attempt on fabswingers with no luck before, used to mail women (not in the pervy way) and I just wouldn't get replies. But I did notice women don't mail first. Is this the case with others?

Thanks"

You have no profile picture

You have one public picture and it's a pretty poor cock pic

You profile is shorter than this post and says practical nothing about you.

But yes women do message men.

But here's the thing your in the supermarket you go to the tinned food section one tin says "delicious baked beans with pork sausages in a rich tomato sauce" with a lovley picture of the sumptuous contents

The other says "please ask a member of staff if you wish to know the contents of this can" with no picture at all.

Which do you think our beans and sausage buyer is going to pick up?

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By *ornyharry39Man
over a year ago

Sheffield

Politeness and patience

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By *onyneMan
over a year ago

Newcastle

"Politeness and patience

Exactly...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Politeness and patience

Oh fuck that shit that's basically saying sit and wait for scraps to fall of the table.

Be confident, be upfront, and don't be scared to approach people.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes. I get msgs first as well from women now and again, mostly from the forum

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have sent the first message many a times and been shot down many times as well

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Thanks

You have no profile picture

You have one public picture and it's a pretty poor cock pic

You profile is shorter than this post and says practical nothing about you.

But yes women do message men.

The other says "please ask a member of staff if you wish to know the contents of this can" with no picture at all.

Which do you think our beans and sausage buyer is going to pick up?"

Thanks for your time to write this post, and the reference actually made me laugh, but it is a valid point.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Yes. I get msgs first as well from women now and again, mostly from the forum

Are they asking why you haven't got an 8 pack yet?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Yes. I get msgs first as well from women now and again, mostly from the forum

Are they asking why you haven't got an 8 pack yet?"
lol and yes they ask that as well few times to

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Thanks

You have no profile picture

You have one public picture and it's a pretty poor cock pic

You profile is shorter than this post and says practical nothing about you.

But yes women do message men.

The other says "please ask a member of staff if you wish to know the contents of this can" with no picture at all.

Which do you think our beans and sausage buyer is going to pick up?

Thanks for your time to write this post, and the reference actually made me laugh, but it is a valid point. "

There's one thing I can tell you mate every first message I've had from a woman or couple has mentioned how they liked how my profile was written, that they thought it was funny, interesting, different.

Write it honestly, and show who you are, what you're after and what you like.

Don't try to speak to everyone as you'll end up appealing to noone say what your actual after and you'll probably find it.

One key piece of advice I can say is read your profile and see if you can think of a message to write yourself, the better your profile the easier that should be.

The easier you are to start a conversation with the more people will do it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Yes. I get msgs first as well from women now and again, mostly from the forum

Are they asking why you haven't got an 8 pack yet?lol and yes they ask that as well few times to

I would ask though what's your cheat/shoulder routine though shag my pecs are just reluctant to grow.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Thanks for the tips, never actually wrote a profile text but I'll give it a bash! ??

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Thanks for the tips, never actually wrote a profile text but I'll give it a bash! ??"

Also number one priority a good torso/bum/face pic to use as your avatar the black default one is an instant delete for many

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 01/06/15 02:20:07]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Yes. I get msgs first as well from women now and again, mostly from the forum

Are they asking why you haven't got an 8 pack yet?lol and yes they ask that as well few times to

I would ask though what's your cheat/shoulder routine though shag my pecs are just reluctant to grow."
Yes, if it don't grow u ned to make sure and focus ur workouts around it and do it 3 times a week.

Chest

Bench prees/ 5 x10 reps Max 135kg 1rep max

chest dunbell press 5x10

chest pec dec 5x10

dip machine 3 x 10

u need to go to failure on all reps.

Shoulders

Shoulder press machine 5x10 Max rep 75kg for 10 reps

Side lats 5 x 15 reps

Front raises 5.10

Rear shoulder machine 5 x10

Shrugs 5 x 10

That's the routine

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Oh, so that's what you have to do in those 'gym' things? Haha

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Oh, so that's what you have to do in those 'gym' things? Haha"
lol and yes, its fun.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Haha, I go out for a run most days but don't actually use a gym. Just don't have time with work

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes lol and running is good as well as to busy for gym, can run in forests as well.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Haha, I go out for a run most days but don't actually use a gym. Just don't have time with work"

Strong lifts 5x5 is what I do takes me 30-40 mins 3 times a week I do it on the way home from work at 6:30 am.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

we wouldnt message you but dont take it personally

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"we wouldnt message you but dont take it personally

That's fine, you're out of my age limits anyway, but don't take it personally

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"we wouldnt message you but dont take it personally

That's fine, you're out of my age limits anyway, but don't take it personally

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By *haunMan
over a year ago

Halton

I have received a few 'first' messages from single ladies.

Always a lovely pleasant surprise and met some great because of it.

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By *etzPlayCouple
over a year ago

Southend

We meet guys on, if E likes them she sees them on her own & if they're crap in bed we Block them.

Wouldn't consider you as no pics and no avatar pic which we find annoying.

Hope this helps xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

usually get a message after uploading a picture. unfortunately it's usually other guys messaging.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Thanks"

I message those I'm interested in as I'm sure some other fems will.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes I don't do it often ut if someone sparks my imagination with a good written profile why not what have you got to loose

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I have sent the first message many a times and been shot down many times as well

Same here, if I'm looking for a new meet I'm not going to just sit and wait for it to fall into my lap.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I have sent the first message many a times and been shot down many times as well

Same here, if I'm looking for a new meet I'm not going to just sit and wait for it to fall into my lap. "

Let's face it - they're going to be diving in to your lap.....

Face first

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I often message guys first in fact, I have times when I block guys so no one can message me and actively search myself. The profile has to have a good selection of pics including a face pic and an informative and light hearted write up to get my attention. It works well for me and all the guys I've met on my current profile have been guys I made first contact with.

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By *o new WinksMan
over a year ago

BSE

Yesterday I got an early morning message from a couple asking if I would like some fun. I didn't have time.

Then on the way home, as I passed through a couple of different areas I got a couple more from single ladies.

All this with my profile stating that I am not meeting

I get most messages from the forums, but I do receive unsolicited mail from the site as well. My avatar helps and suggest you do something to catch the eye of those you want to attract.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I message men first as we have blocked single men from contacting us first. We did that because when we joined the site we didn't have any blocked set and we were overwhelmed with messages. It was too much too soon!

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By *odareyouMan
over a year ago

not far from iceland,,,,,, tescos is nearer though :-) (near leeds)

I've had messages and winks from Ladies and couple, as others have said a good profile really does help.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

my honest advice....

put yourself in the ladies position, she gets bombarded with messages everyday, so unless you really put yourself out there no one is going message you... as you have no pictures, you describe yourself as avaerage, theres no effort dude....

its not a criticism... my a few guys profile that seem to be doing well and try pick up some tips. good luck

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By *hole Lotta RosieWoman
over a year ago

Deviant City

I much prefer to actively seek out men and message them, rather than sift through loads of shit mail, to find decent profiles. Nearly all my single male meets, are from those that I contacted first.

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By *olarfoxMan
over a year ago

North Cambs

My meet on Saturday came as a result of an initial message from the lady...I was delightfully shocked at the time and even more delighted when it was her who messaged me Saturday afternoon asking if I was free that evening

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By *rchie300Man
over a year ago

Hamworthy

Get some more pics ... Maybe say a bit more on your profile ..... There are many guys on here so competion is tough and above all you got too be patient and in my opinion if a girl likes you she finds you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have email conversations; I chat to people - rarely is it sexual in nature. If someone was interested that way I would hope it came about organically in the ebb and flow of conversation - or they just asked directly.

So much focus is on messaging as a fast-track to sex, rather than as a social medium.

I believe that this makes a lot of couples / single ladies recipient to email single guys because they fear its immediately taken as a sign of interest. Then the guy will expect nude shots on email number 2 followed by time, location and a detailed itinerary of sexual acts on mail number 3!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I used to but I have never had a single reply from guys who I have mailed first so I stopped

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've mailed a few guys first - it does happens OP!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've messaged some but only if they have winked at me and caught my eye.

When it comes to profiles you have to stand out. One thing though, you say you are genuine but can't accommodate. To me this screams 'married man getting his cake and wanting to eat more'.

I am not being 2 faced as i can't accommodate either but I have young kids at home.

Profile pics as well. But then again we always hear "i have to be discreet" but I'm sure no one would recognise a torso or arse shot unless you have a birthmark the shape of italy on your left buttock

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By *olarfoxMan
over a year ago

North Cambs

"I'm sure no one would recognise a torso or arse shot unless you have a birthmark the shape of italy on your left buttock"

Lol!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Thanks"

Yes, I do.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I've messaged some but only if they have winked at me and caught my eye.

When it comes to profiles you have to stand out. One thing though, you say you are genuine but can't accommodate. To me this screams 'married man getting his cake and wanting to eat more'.

I am not being 2 faced as i can't accommodate either but I have young kids at home.

So a man who cannot accommodate must be married eh , ever thought that some may be in the same position as you ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I've messaged some but only if they have winked at me and caught my eye.

When it comes to profiles you have to stand out. One thing though, you say you are genuine but can't accommodate. To me this screams 'married man getting his cake and wanting to eat more'.

I am not being 2 faced as i can't accommodate either but I have young kids at home.

So a man who cannot accommodate must be married eh , ever thought that some may be in the same position as you ?

Its easier for a woman to get a meet than it is a man. A small explanation on his profile to why he can't accommodate would actually work in his benefit. How many womens profiles do you see that say they won't meet married men? Quite a few! It wasn't a dig at any married man, just a small heads up

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By *inaTitzTV/TS
over a year ago

Titz Towers, North Notts

Owing to the number of chaps on here and the fact I tend to meet at clubs, I find I don't need to, to be honest.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You mean there are actually men on here to message

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Men with good profiles and interesting photos get messaged by women.

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By *rank EinsteinMan
over a year ago

Burton upon stather

The beans and sausage post is probably the best way I've seen it described, can we get a petition going to have that whole piece included in the welcome mail?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We will message men if we like their profile.

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By *rank EinsteinMan
over a year ago

Burton upon stather

"I'm sure no one would recognise a torso or arse shot unless you have a birthmark the shape of italy on your left buttock

Lol!

Funnily enough.....

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By *ENDAROOSCouple
over a year ago

South West London / Surrey

Yes we prefer to browse and make first contact with single men that interest us.

Most of our meets have come from us

approaching others.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Thanks

You have no profile picture

You have one public picture and it's a pretty poor cock pic

You profile is shorter than this post and says practical nothing about you.

But yes women do message men.

The other says "please ask a member of staff if you wish to know the contents of this can" with no picture at all.

Which do you think our beans and sausage buyer is going to pick up?"

That is brilliant way of putting it well impressed admin should put this on the faq bit where whinging folk who cant get meets or make no effort should go.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It has been known

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yep.

It's how I pounce on unsuspecting man folk on here. Starts with a wink, then BOOM they're under my spell.

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By *ecretlyASoftieWoman
over a year ago

Hull but travel regularly

If I like the look of someone then yes I will message first. More chance of being a good match for me than receiving 50 'hi Hun' 'you free now' 'fancy a fuck' messages. Mind you it's often met with disbelief that a real woman would actually message first. Seriously guys, some women know what they want and not afraid to go after it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Which is the greater, males you've messaged, or males you've blocked.

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By *olarfoxMan
over a year ago

North Cambs

"Which is the greater, males you've messaged, or males you've blocked.

Males I've blocked

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By *unky monkeyMan
over a year ago

in the night garden

There are plenty of women that mail first I have found.

Because of my crippling shyness this is the only way I will communicate.

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By *nvictusMan
over a year ago

Beeston

I hack their profiles and message myself. It makes me feel wanted.

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By *unky monkeyMan
over a year ago

in the night garden

"I hack their profiles and message myself. It makes me feel wanted. "

Thankfully now there are two of us on the same timeline again we can make up fake bi fem accounts and message each other.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I have sent the first message many a times and been shot down many times as well

Same here, if I'm looking for a new meet I'm not going to just sit and wait for it to fall into my lap.

Let's face it - they're going to be diving in to your lap.....

Face first

Oh now there's a vision...

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

"I have sent the first message many a times and been shot down many times as well

Ditto

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

god yes and had some great meets

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By *ere-for-my-convenienceWoman
over a year ago

West Midlands

I do often yes

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Most of the mail I recieve comes through the forum but I still get a the odd one every now and then. "

You attracting odd women Lib?

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By *aycee70Couple
over a year ago

Eastbourne

Thanks

You have no profile picture

You have one public picture and it's a pretty poor cock pic

You profile is shorter than this post and says practical nothing about you.

But yes women do message men.

The other says "please ask a member of staff if you wish to know the contents of this can" with no picture at all.

Which do you think our beans and sausage buyer is going to pick up?"

Well said

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Me, all the time. Laura. X

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i have messaged men before but only if i can see what they look like

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Most of the mail I recieve comes through the forum but I still get a the odd one every now and then.

You attracting odd women Lib?"

Like attracts like. Apparently.

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By *igeiaWoman
over a year ago

Bristol

I message men when they catch my eye somehow. I probably come across as odd though.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yeah I've messaged men before.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Lots of people message men - I don't understand this thread.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I do.

Some don't reply.

Some do.

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

Thanks

You have no profile picture

You have one public picture and it's a pretty poor cock pic

You profile is shorter than this post and says practical nothing about you.

But yes women do message men.

The other says "please ask a member of staff if you wish to know the contents of this can" with no picture at all.

Which do you think our beans and sausage buyer is going to pick up?"

Haha, very good.....

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

I virtually never message men first other than maybe a comment about a forum post once in a blue moon.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Don't think I've ever messaged a man first..

definitely reactive rather than pro active.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Don't think I've ever messaged a man first..

definitely reactive rather than pro active.

Poke poke.....

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By *ezebelWoman
over a year ago

North of The Wall - youll need your vest

About half of the guys that I have met are where I messaged first.

Id rather look for what I want rather than wait and see what Im offered

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Don't think I've ever messaged a man first..

definitely reactive rather than pro active.

Poke poke....."
aww yes I need to reply to you

xxxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Don't think I've ever messaged a man first..

definitely reactive rather than pro active.

Poke poke..... aww yes I need to reply to you

xxxx"

I've patiently worn my fingers down to the bone tapping them on the table

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think you'll find, OP, that they are far too busy sorting out their bulging inboxes to have any time to message us single guys.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I do and mostly i get a reply back but I only message the men that i look at n their pics take my breath away

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have quite frequently sent the first message. I do get quite a lot of messages, I don't reply to the one liners or those who obviously haven't read my profile, and I will reply even if I not interested if the bloke has made an effort to write or makes me laugh!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I mail first

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Thanks

You have no profile picture

You have one public picture and it's a pretty poor cock pic

You profile is shorter than this post and says practical nothing about you.

But yes women do message men.

The other says "please ask a member of staff if you wish to know the contents of this can" with no picture at all.

Which do you think our beans and sausage buyer is going to pick up?

Thanks for your time to write this post, and the reference actually made me laugh, but it is a valid point.

Write it honestly, and show who you are, what you're after and what you like.

Don't try to speak to everyone as you'll end up appealing to noone say what your actual after and you'll probably find it.

One key piece of advice I can say is read your profile and see if you can think of a message to write yourself, the better your profile the easier that should be.

The easier you are to start a conversation with the more people will do it."

That's mint advice. Writing yourself a message

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I message men usually on the back of a forum post. Has had some pleasing results

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Whey hey! Thanks Lisa, my first reply! Haha

Yeah I'm always up for a laugh fetishman, just no one gives me a chance haha"

You have no pictures Hun! Would you buy something you saw advertised if you couldn't see a picture of it??

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I have sent the first message many a times and been shot down many times as well

Same here, if I'm looking for a new meet I'm not going to just sit and wait for it to fall into my lap.

Let's face it - they're going to be diving in to your lap.....

Face first

Oh you'd be surprised...it hasn't always been a successful endeavour

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I have sent the first message many a times and been shot down many times as well

Same here, if I'm looking for a new meet I'm not going to just sit and wait for it to fall into my lap.

Let's face it - they're going to be diving in to your lap.....

Face first

Oh you'd be surprised...it hasn't always been a successful endeavour "

Quite! I get probably 90%+ outright no reply or 'no thanks'.

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By *olarfoxMan
over a year ago

North Cambs

"I message men usually on the back of a forum post. Has had some pleasing results

Now, that does not entirely surprise me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I have sent the first message many a times and been shot down many times as well

Same here, if I'm looking for a new meet I'm not going to just sit and wait for it to fall into my lap.

Let's face it - they're going to be diving in to your lap.....

Face first

Oh you'd be surprised...it hasn't always been a successful endeavour "

Blind and or stupid lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I message guys (and ladies) from the forums mostly!!

Regular users though (ie non forumites):

Well - once in a blue moon I browze local men and see this:

Cock pic

Shadow

Cock

Shadow

Cock

Uninspiring!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I do if a profile catches my eye , with great results x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Thanks"

No pics. Average text. Not a chance.

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By *iss_Samantha_LovecockTV/TS
over a year ago

bmth /poole sometimes blandford

i would only message a women to thank her for fabbing ny pix ..as it doesnt happen that often.. i prefer people to message me if they want to meet

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By *adybee77Woman
over a year ago

MAMOBA, miles and miles of bugger all (Aberdeenshire)

I've not read all the replies, but I do message first. Not always successfully... but I do try.

Have been told I'm obviously fake because of it!

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