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2nd Chance

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

For a few months, if i'm completely honest, i have been doing a few experiments on my gut feeling and if it is actually correct

sometimes i feel that i can be rather harsh and i live in a black and white world with no room for grey

I gave a few 2nd chances to people (not entirely fab) to see if my gut was right or i was wrong

One person who had a 2nd chance, can't remember 5 years back when he had his 1st chance and blew it, then gave some crap about "oh i liked you but u was in a relationship at the time and i wanted more than NSA (never met him in my life)

my gut was right about him

The 2nd person who was in my life for many years and we fell out. we made up met and all i saw was him drinking 4 pints to my one glass of wine

again my gut was right

the moral of this is the gut feeling is right

anyone else tried stupid rationing to see if they was right or wrong?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've never tested it, but I always just listen to my instincts, rarely change my mind!

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I've never tested it, but I always just listen to my instincts, rarely change my mind! "

i did after a comment on here someone thought i was cold and 2 weeks ago i was called heartless

so it was good to have this lession

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Never deliberately tried it but my gut instinct has been proved right many times and if I ignore it things usually go wrong.

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By *andy6677Man
over a year ago

crewe


"I've never tested it, but I always just listen to my instincts, rarely change my mind!

i did after a comment on here someone thought i was cold and 2 weeks ago i was called heartless

so it was good to have this lession "

Always go on my gut instinct and its not let me down yet.

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By *ancadamMan
over a year ago

Stockport

i find gut feeling to be incredibly accurate.its main indicator tends to be a guide to how comfortable you feel about an issue. . in particular it indicates to you how your instinct to survive and thrive responds.its such a universal and directly accurate response that people underestimate it i think because they feel it is a decision of the heart not the intellect.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Never deliberately tried it but my gut instinct has been proved right many times and if I ignore it things usually go wrong."

this

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"i find gut feeling to be incredibly accurate.its main indicator tends to be a guide to how comfortable you feel about an issue. . in particular it indicates to you how your instinct to survive and thrive responds.its such a universal and directly accurate response that people underestimate it i think because they feel it is a decision of the heart not the intellect."

its a good exercise to the fact i tried it and it failed so i know now mu gut instinct never lets me down

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Some times its best to listen to your heart , other times your head .

Its a tough balancing act.

There is some one I miss every day. Though my gut tells me I would never get back what I once lost. My heart keeps telling me maybe lol.

Good luck and I hope you figure it all out , if you do tel me how lol

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By *evaquitCouple
over a year ago

Catthorpe

Done this a few times but it's just my make up to mostly give folk a second chance and the benefit of the doubt, couple that with being in the 'grey area' a lot can make you pretty indecisive quite often. Mrs N however is of the black and white, act on pure gut instinct type making snappy decisions and not looking back which has taken her pretty far but still imo needs the compliment of my ways and vice versa at times. Wish I had more of the conviction to stick to my gut feelings tbh.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"For a few months, if i'm completely honest, i have been doing a few experiments on my gut feeling and if it is actually correct

sometimes i feel that i can be rather harsh and i live in a black and white world with no room for grey

I gave a few 2nd chances to people (not entirely fab) to see if my gut was right or i was wrong

One person who had a 2nd chance, can't remember 5 years back when he had his 1st chance and blew it, then gave some crap about "oh i liked you but u was in a relationship at the time and i wanted more than NSA (never met him in my life)

my gut was right about him

The 2nd person who was in my life for many years and we fell out. we made up met and all i saw was him drinking 4 pints to my one glass of wine

again my gut was right

the moral of this is the gut feeling is right

anyone else tried stupid rationing to see if they was right or wrong?

"

Gut instinct all the way..usually best way to avoid the wrong-uns

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By *onyneMan
over a year ago

Newcastle

Well instinct isn't just a random thing...It involves putting all the information you have into place and then coming to a conclusion [using common sense, you would hope!]. The instinct bit is then not just a 'random' thing and is usually best to follow... It's more sensible than tossing a coin!

Usually best to follow these thingsI think

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

the moral of this is the gut feeling is right

anyone else tried stupid rationing to see if they was right or wrong?

"

Yup...and I should have listened to the voice in my head every single time.

I follow my intuition these days - it makes for a much less complicated and happier life.

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By *etitesaraTV/TS
over a year ago

rochdale

Around a year ago I broke off a long term friendship with a woman ive known for 25yrs. I'd been uncomfortable with her views for some time but when she made some nasty personal attacks on me via Facebook I'd had enough.

She has tried a couple of times to reinstate the friendship (without apologising) but I've gone with my instinct & knowledge that her views are unlikely to have changed (she's a creationist) and therefore not worth revisiting.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Always trust your gut, but give people a chance to prove it wrong, it may just be indigestion

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Great thread OP.

Currently doing something similar and seeing how it goes. But with my gut instinct clear in my head as a kind of safety net.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Great thread OP.

Currently doing something similar and seeing how it goes. But with my gut instinct clear in my head as a kind of safety net. "

dont do it

trust me x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Great thread OP.

Currently doing something similar and seeing how it goes. But with my gut instinct clear in my head as a kind of safety net.

dont do it

trust me x

"

When people tell me not to do something it makes me want to do it even more...

x

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By *rs TootyWoman
over a year ago

Ayrshire

I try to listen to my 'gut' more often than not its right.

Latest one tho was wrong.. Or maybe I just wasn't listening right :-/

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By *hyblueEyesMan
over a year ago

Daventry

I frequently have that debate with myself as I don't like to think bad of people.

I sit here in a quandary as my ex from 3 years ago sent me an email a couple of days ago eating me back. It does seem a temping offer however we broke up for a reason (although if I'm honest I can't remember why). My mind has this great way of remembering the good times but forgetting the bad. My gut feeling is it went wrong for a reason so no second chances, but my mind does tell me other things haha

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Always... That little voice that constantly pesters, hard to ignore!!

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

This is a good post and great answers

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think gut instinct is something I always take into account. If something does not feel right, Fab or non-Fab related I take heed of that inner voice. It is generally correct.

I also think that hindsight is a wonderful thing and you look back and think, yep I was right, but didn't listen to that niggle of doubt at the time.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My guy instinct is all I have. It's unexplainable and sometimes illogical but it's never failed me. It's kept my safe and sane.

I don't allow others to make me feel bad for following it because I strongly believe in it. Often I am referred to as being harsh, distant and heartless... But sometimes I have to be perceived as being those things for my own happiness and wellbeing.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I've never tested it, but I always just listen to my instincts, rarely change my mind! "

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

I follow my gut instincts as well - they're well honed. Sometimes it may seem like you can possibly be missing out on a lot, but they missed that, when they've messed you about before etc.

The problem with emotions over logic is that often our logic is superior in working things out. It partly depends on the level of distinction we have in our feelings. Are we able to tell the difference between subtle emotional differences.

The downside to it all is that our minds are loaded with misleading cognitive biases. Confirmation bias is where we tend to observe that which supports our opinion or beliefs - so we find it difficult to be truly balanced in our weighing up, for example.

We've also got negativity bias, where we tend to notice the negative rather than the positive. A certain influence, if we're reviewing potential partners for a meet that's not worked.

And there's something termed the fundamental attribution error - where we tend to blame others when things to wrong. Obviously we may do this as it may comfort ourselves from the unease we might get, if we were partly responsible for something not working out.

This seem largely inbuilt into the human body and are often hard to ocercome. I still trust my gut instinct over people I largely feel have messed me about, but have to accept that my judgement is likely to be somewhat swayed and flawed from the likely reality.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I follow my gut instincts as well - they're well honed. Sometimes it may seem like you can possibly be missing out on a lot, but they missed that, when they've messed you about before etc.

The problem with emotions over logic is that often our logic is superior in working things out. It partly depends on the level of distinction we have in our feelings. Are we able to tell the difference between subtle emotional differences.

The downside to it all is that our minds are loaded with misleading cognitive biases. Confirmation bias is where we tend to observe that which supports our opinion or beliefs - so we find it difficult to be truly balanced in our weighing up, for example.

We've also got negativity bias, where we tend to notice the negative rather than the positive. A certain influence, if we're reviewing potential partners for a meet that's not worked.

And there's something termed the fundamental attribution error - where we tend to blame others when things to wrong. Obviously we may do this as it may comfort ourselves from the unease we might get, if we were partly responsible for something not working out.

This seem largely inbuilt into the human body and are often hard to ocercome. I still trust my gut instinct over people I largely feel have messed me about, but have to accept that my judgement is likely to be somewhat swayed and flawed from the likely reality."

This makes sense. Thank you

For posting

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

It's a tough one Jacqs, but if people have really been insensitive, happy to mess us about and we're left with negativity towards them, they've probably not got much going for them that'll give us peace of mind and the satisfaction we need.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"It's a tough one Jacqs, but if people have really been insensitive, happy to mess us about and we're left with negativity towards them, they've probably not got much going for them that'll give us peace of mind and the satisfaction we need."

I think it was knowing the what if was right

Gut instincts right

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By *iamondjoeMan
over a year ago

Glastonbury

I worked with difficult, disturbing and sometimes dangerous behaviour for a decade...

I'm a good judge of character and if that little part of my brain that says 'something's not right' pops up, I listen to it.

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By *isscheekychopsWoman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

I really wish I had followed my gut instinct recently if I had I wouldn't of been in the situation I am now...

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I really wish I had followed my gut instinct recently if I had I wouldn't of been in the situation I am now..."

Why x

Pm me if u want

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By *rank EinsteinMan
over a year ago

Burton upon stather

The way I see it is that "gut feeling" is really your brain using information buried in your subconscious to give you a feeling of right or wrong about something so it's always a gamble but typically unless you consciously know better it's right in my experience.

The one that gets me is when you get a feeling about something you have no way of knowing and it turns out right.

When I was 17ish I was walking the a rough part of town with a friend and his girlfriend and as we approached a road I got an intense feeling of dread and said we should go a different longer route.

They dismissed my feeling and we went down the road where a bully from school happened to be with a gang of lads, I told me mates and his missus to keep walking and ender up with kicking.

I'm not saying I believe in premonition but that was pretty freaky so either my subconscious or "gut" knew something I didn't consciously know, it was coincidence or on some level I knew what would happen.

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By *layer oneMan
over a year ago

mirfield


"For a few months, if i'm completely honest, i have been doing a few experiments on my gut feeling and if it is actually correct

sometimes i feel that i can be rather harsh and i live in a black and white world with no room for grey

I gave a few 2nd chances to people (not entirely fab) to see if my gut was right or i was wrong

One person who had a 2nd chance, can't remember 5 years back when he had his 1st chance and blew it, then gave some crap about "oh i liked you but u was in a relationship at the time and i wanted more than NSA (never met him in my life)

my gut was right about him

The 2nd person who was in my life for many years and we fell out. we made up met and all i saw was him drinking 4 pints to my one glass of wine

again my gut was right

the moral of this is the gut feeling is right

anyone else tried stupid rationing to see if they was right or wrong?

"
I always go with that gut feeling and I can see how it's worked for you jax

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 31/05/15 18:09:50]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I used to try to always see the best in people. Life, however, has taught me that its a fundamentally bad idea.

I'm far more cynical and jaded than I used to be. And I know I'm the poorer for having lost it.

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By *hoe_nixCouple
over a year ago

leeds

if it looks like S**T and it smells like S**T -- Don't put it in your mouth

1st chance I gave the guy he got me turned on then said he had come from work and wasn't comfortable going the whole hog... 2nd chance didn't turn up on time so I text him not to bother coming

a year later we met socially he was using a new profile and denied being that person or ever meeting me --Twat!!!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I still try to see the best in people. I do get the odd initial warning bells but still try to reserve judgement. I forgive easily so even when I get let down I don't hold grudges, however there are one or two people in my life who I find it hard to like now. Those who disappoint me who don't have an important role to play in my life I soon ignore and forget about.

That said my intuition serves me well.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I see the best in people well want to

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By *eithoWoman
over a year ago

Chatham

I've probably been guilty of being a bit trigger happy with the block button when people are rude on here. A while back I decided to unblock loads of people as I figured perhaps I'd been a bit hasty. Three of those people then messaged me again with similarly crude unsolicited messages. Never again!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I used to try to always see the best in people. Life, however, has taught me that its a fundamentally bad idea.

I'm far more cynical and jaded than I used to be. And I know I'm the poorer for having lost it.

"

Or better off for not being taken in by crap people.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I used to try to always see the best in people. Life, however, has taught me that its a fundamentally bad idea.

I'm far more cynical and jaded than I used to be. And I know I'm the poorer for having lost it.

Or better off for not being taken in by crap people. "

agreed!

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