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It's been a month . . .

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

. .

since my relationship ended with my partner of 4 ½ years. We had met on here and a relationship followed very quickly. So I am obviously now single and very aware I am single and used to the fact I am single (just to make that clear lol.) We were not married but engaged and it was a long distance relationship so only saw him once every 6-8 weeks really.

However the fact is I didn’t expect it and it’s knocked me for six. I thought I was loved and felt safe and secure knowing (or so I thought) where I was in life. Now it’s made me feel very unattractive and really unsure of myself. I feel ugly and undesirable and I am questioning my own personality and judgement. In the past I was a confident woman who played and had fun on this scene.

So lovely swinging people, words of encouragement or advice would be fab. Have you been in this situation? What did you do?

Miss Lovepuppies xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just keep moving forward. One day at a time, be kind to yourself and it will start to feel a bit better.

Hugs xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

((hug))

form a orderly que gentlemen please

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


". .

since my relationship ended with my partner of 4 ½ years. We had met on here and a relationship followed very quickly. So I am obviously now single and very aware I am single and used to the fact I am single (just to make that clear lol.) We were not married but engaged and it was a long distance relationship so only saw him once every 6-8 weeks really.

However the fact is I didn’t expect it and it’s knocked me for six. I thought I was loved and felt safe and secure knowing (or so I thought) where I was in life. Now it’s made me feel very unattractive and really unsure of myself. I feel ugly and undesirable and I am questioning my own personality and judgement. In the past I was a confident woman who played and had fun on this scene.

So lovely swinging people, words of encouragement or advice would be fab. Have you been in this situation? What did you do?

Miss Lovepuppies xx

"
. Mine wasn't as long as 4 yrs but we saw each other twice a week for 13 mths we finished things yesterday so really can sympathise with the pain and anguisgph you feeling ,it is literally one day at a time and keeping strong.. Huge hugs to you hunny

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You are not ugly or undesirable . This is a good thing tell yourself . Better now than further down the line . Shit happens hun and yes it hurts i've been through heartbreak myself but time is a great healer . You will find the person who is right for you , even tho at the moment you tell yourself he was the right person for you . You deserve someone who will have the same connection and spark with you that you have with them . Chin up hun slap some makeup on stick some party clothes on and go out partying . You may not feel like it but the best way to help yourself is to get back on your feet enjoying life ASAP .

P.S It's the male half here so in all honesty you may want to ignore my advice as us men often make matters worse lol .

I can tell you some jokes if that will help (I doubt it tho) but the offer is there

Nick

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sorry to hear how your situation has affected you OP. It's always hard coming out of a relationship whatever the circumstances, and you were clearly in it for the long haul so it hurts even more.

What you need to remember is you were active and had fun before, and the chap in question clearly fell for you in the first place. My point is that you're still that same person. No doubt you're very attractive, and probably a very nice person too so Ive no doubt you'll pick yourself back up again and begin to enjoy yourself, but do it at your own pace, don't put any pressure on yourself and you'll be fine. All the best

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

And if you need any confirmation of how gorgeous you must be......your verifications say it all. Some a little crudely, but they say all you need to know

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Exactly what covguy has said . You was a fun desirable woman which is what attracted him to you in the 1st place . That person is still there you just need to find her again

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

You need to give yourself time. It was a long relationship and now you no longer have that safety net, so wait a bit longer before jumping back in.

Feeling ugly is natural after your sort of life changing event, so pamper yourself, even if its only a new eye shadow or a nice bath bomb.

Hang around the forums for a laugh - that's always good for making us feel better about ourselves.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I hope you feel better soon

It's hard and feels like no one understands

People told me to just f someone else but I just didn't want to

It didn't feel right

And my confidence was gone

Just take time out to find yourself Hun x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No one can make you feel inferior without your consent ...eg people can only hurt you if you allow them to x..

Yes it's hard , I was with my ex for 8 years and it nearly destroyed me when it ended very horribly ..surrounding yourself with true friends really helps and getting back out there is hard but works too ...xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Chin up lass and enjoy being single for now x

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By *L RogueMan
over a year ago

London

Just give yourself time. Keep busy too!

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By *andy6677Man
over a year ago

crewe

Your not ugly at all or unattractive xx As someone whos been single for a long time now id say enjoy your freedom also its hard maintaining a long distance relationship so 4 years you did well to make it last that long xxx There is someone out there for everyone i believe and your no where near over the hill you still enjoy sex and life so get out there and do it and who knows you might meet the one whos more local to you as well xxx Hugs and kisses xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Now it’s made me feel very unattractive and really unsure of myself. I feel ugly and undesirable and I am questioning my own personality and judgement. "

I can't comment on your attractiveness I haven't/can't see your face.

But it might NOT be that you're unattractive, you just might not be attractive to him anymore.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Awww thanks for all your messages, need my mojo ASAP lol

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By *ust MonicaWoman
over a year ago

CAMBRIDGESHIRE

Ok. Been in this situation lots lol. Sooooo man up lovely. There is ALWAYS better out there. Love yourself first and lots of good things will follow

Ur beautiful xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When I put on a lot of weight my husband started calling me a fat doughnut eating cunt. He would call me it in front of my children and his family. I had gone from a size 10 to a size 24 in a year. Our relationship was already over before that and he was openly cheating. But you know what,I didn't let him make me feel ugly. His words didn't hurt me,or the fact that he was having sex with another woman and not me. He was the one with the problem,not me. Only you can make you feel good about yourself,don't look for someone else's approval. He may not want you but plenty of others will,and want you for who you are.

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By *ust MonicaWoman
over a year ago

CAMBRIDGESHIRE


"When I put on a lot of weight my husband started calling me a fat doughnut eating cunt. He would call me it in front of my children and his family. I had gone from a size 10 to a size 24 in a year. Our relationship was already over before that and he was openly cheating. But you know what,I didn't let him make me feel ugly. His words didn't hurt me,or the fact that he was having sex with another woman and not me. He was the one with the problem,not me. Only you can make you feel good about yourself,don't look for someone else's approval. He may not want you but plenty of others will,and want you for who you are. "

Well done u. An inspiration xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Best way to get over someone is to get under someone

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Best way to get over someone is to get under someone "

This is really funny, and especially as only yesterday one of the girls at work told me the same thing lol. Although obviosuly they dont know how I met him in the first place lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"When I put on a lot of weight my husband started calling me a fat doughnut eating cunt. He would call me it in front of my children and his family. I had gone from a size 10 to a size 24 in a year. Our relationship was already over before that and he was openly cheating. But you know what,I didn't let him make me feel ugly. His words didn't hurt me,or the fact that he was having sex with another woman and not me. He was the one with the problem,not me. Only you can make you feel good about yourself,don't look for someone else's approval. He may not want you but plenty of others will,and want you for who you are. "

You should of replied....

"and your an ugly fucker at least i can diet you got that face for life"

Him

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By *ingle Beds LassWoman
over a year ago

Bedfordshire


"Just keep moving forward. One day at a time, be kind to yourself and it will start to feel a bit better.

Hugs xx"

Absolutely this

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Best way to get over someone is to get under someone

This is really funny, and especially as only yesterday one of the girls at work told me the same thing lol. Although obviosuly they dont know how I met him in the first place lol

"

Well its worth a try..when you're ready

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