FabSwingers.com forum: What to do???

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

My old best friend has got back in touch, literally today!

Iv never stopped thinking about her and I miss her loads. We had such a great few years together.

However when things went wrong, she hated me for it and as much as I tried to make peace and get our friendship back, she threw it back in my face on several occassions.

Do I give her another chance??

What would your advice be?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

One side of me says the past is the past, if you do rekindle the friendship take it steady.

The other side says don't bother, the old wounds are bound to get picked over again and is that a scab you really want to pick ?

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By *isstinseltoesWoman
over a year ago

Calderdale innit

I would give her another chance ,good friends are hard to find .Good luck whatever you decide though.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Life is too short. I would take the opportunity to make it up. But I don't know the history in your case.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"My old best friend has got back in touch, literally today!

Iv never stopped thinking about her and I miss her loads. We had such a great few years together.

However when things went wrong, she hated me for it and as much as I tried to make peace and get our friendship back, she threw it back in my face on several occassions.

Do I give her another chance??

What would your advice be?

It takes guts to get in touch again after refusing to make things right in the past .

With the time apart maybe she has come to her senses and misses you just as much as you miss her .

Life is too short , my best friend died 6 years ago and we had our differences. I would do anything to have her in my life again .

Give her another chance and make up .

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Listen to that song that starts with the words

"one of us has to say he's sorry or we will never be friends again"

If you really don't want her in your life, do nothing.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Think of the good times and compare them with the bad then you will have your answer x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Is your life better with her in it or not in it?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Listen to that song that starts with the words

"one of us has to say he's sorry or we will never be friends again"

If you really don't want her in your life, do nothing."

I can't say I don't want her in my life.. I do. We were two peas in a pod, however very different from each other in ways.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Think of the good times and compare them with the bad then you will have your answer x"

We never really had any bad times.. Only when things went sour.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Is your life better with her in it or not in it?"

Iv never experienced a friendship like the one I had with her.

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

You can't have the old friendship back but you can build a new one, which may or may not be better.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You did try and make it up to her but she wasn't ready to accept that. Now she seems to be.

I would go for it myself, see how things are now and if they haven't changed you don't have to stay friends or even try.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm up for a MFF if yas get back in touch

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

People view their past in different way even if you spent years as friends..It's how she sees it now..Biggest thing for me would be a totally unexpected reaction.. You will both have to address it and see where you stand from there..Only you know what you want really.. Good luck

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Think of the good times and compare them with the bad then you will have your answer x

We never really had any bad times.. Only when things went sour. "
you've answered your own question x

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Think of the good times and compare them with the bad then you will have your answer x

We never really had any bad times.. Only when things went sour. you've answered your own question x "

This will be the 3rd or 4th time she has got in touch and then decided it wasn't what she wanted.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I'm up for a MFF if yas get back in touch

She would eat you alive!!

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By *ensual temptressWoman
over a year ago

Southampton

Maybe now enough time has passed and enough water under the bridge for you both to re look at your friendship. Take it slow and have no expectations .If things go well then you have your friend if not then you are no worse off than you are now and at least you can say you gave it a try .

True friendships are few and far between so I hope it works out for you both x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm up for a MFF if yas get back in touch

She would eat you alive!!

send her info then

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"This will be the 3rd or 4th time she has got in touch and then decided it wasn't what she wanted."

I'd ask her why is she getting in touch? And then leave it for her to tell you why. Even best mates can be dicks sometimes or not know what they want.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Welcome her back to try and heal the pain... but don't expect things to go back to how they were. Depending on the severity of what happened between you, you may be unlikely to be very good friends ever again...but you may end up being "just" friends and in later years a new friendship with her may blossom

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By *irceWoman
over a year ago

Gloucester

"Is your life better with her in it or not in it?"

Ahh wisdom

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By *hortieWoman
over a year ago

Northampton

"Think of the good times and compare them with the bad then you will have your answer x

We never really had any bad times.. Only when things went sour. you've answered your own question x

This will be the 3rd or 4th time she has got in touch and then decided it wasn't what she wanted."

Only you can decide if you let her try for a 4th or 5th time then

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"This will be the 3rd or 4th time she has got in touch and then decided it wasn't what she wanted.

I'd ask her why is she getting in touch? And then leave it for her to tell you why. Even best mates can be dicks sometimes or not know what they want."

Iv asked her.

She said she didn't want the hassle from the other girls.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"This will be the 3rd or 4th time she has got in touch and then decided it wasn't what she wanted.

I'd ask her why is she getting in touch? And then leave it for her to tell you why. Even best mates can be dicks sometimes or not know what they want.

Iv asked her.

She said she didn't want the hassle from the other girls. "

Shame. She obviously doesn't wanna be mates then. I'd leave it and not reply, maybe tell the girls to stop hassling her coz it's not fair on you.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"This will be the 3rd or 4th time she has got in touch and then decided it wasn't what she wanted.

I'd ask her why is she getting in touch? And then leave it for her to tell you why. Even best mates can be dicks sometimes or not know what they want.

Iv asked her.

She said she didn't want the hassle from the other girls. "

You know what, I'd leave it, if this was a romantic relationship I'd have told you to drop it after the second time.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"This will be the 3rd or 4th time she has got in touch and then decided it wasn't what she wanted.

I'd ask her why is she getting in touch? And then leave it for her to tell you why. Even best mates can be dicks sometimes or not know what they want.

Iv asked her.

She said she didn't want the hassle from the other girls.

Shame. She obviously doesn't wanna be mates then. I'd leave it and not reply, maybe tell the girls to stop hassling her coz it's not fair on you."

They have all drifted apart now so it seems. Which does make me think quite cynically.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"This will be the 3rd or 4th time she has got in touch and then decided it wasn't what she wanted.

I'd ask her why is she getting in touch? And then leave it for her to tell you why. Even best mates can be dicks sometimes or not know what they want.

Iv asked her.

She said she didn't want the hassle from the other girls.

You know what, I'd leave it, if this was a romantic relationship I'd have told you to drop it after the second time."

Yes I get what your saying.

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

If you're feeling cynical about this, questioning whether you should or shouldn't meet and second-guessing what might happen here on the forum then it's probably not the best circumstances to try and forge a reconciliation.

My own experience of this has been that you do with an open heart, no expectations and start again or the issues keep on rearing their heads and niggle away.

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By *oward1978Man
over a year ago

Rotherham

"This will be the 3rd or 4th time she has got in touch and then decided it wasn't what she wanted.

I'd ask her why is she getting in touch? And then leave it for her to tell you why. Even best mates can be dicks sometimes or not know what they want.

Iv asked her.

She said she didn't want the hassle from the other girls.

You know what, I'd leave it, if this was a romantic relationship I'd have told you to drop it after the second time.

Yes I get what your saying. "

From what I've read OP I'd personally give it a miss. Some things just aren't meant to be and I get the feeling this may be like that.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd swerve it. It's not her that really wants to get in touch is it?

She feels pressured... I wouldn't thankyou for a freind in my life like this...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'll say it's up to you. It's obviously bothering her and you but idk why.

I like my best friend, we don't hold grudges or play games though.

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By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

I'd welcome her friendship but still be a bit wary because of the bust up from before

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Thankyou everyone

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"My old best friend has got back in touch, literally today!

Iv never stopped thinking about her and I miss her loads. We had such a great few years together.

However when things went wrong, she hated me for it and as much as I tried to make peace and get our friendship back, she threw it back in my face on several occassions.

Do I give her another chance??

What would your advice be?

It takes guts to get in touch again after refusing to make things right in the past .

With the time apart maybe she has come to her senses and misses you just as much as you miss her .

Life is too short , my best friend died 6 years ago and we had our differences. I would do anything to have her in my life again .

Give her another chance and make up ."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"My old best friend has got back in touch, literally today!

Iv never stopped thinking about her and I miss her loads. We had such a great few years together.

However when things went wrong, she hated me for it and as much as I tried to make peace and get our friendship back, she threw it back in my face on several occassions.

Do I give her another chance??

What would your advice be?

Question is if she was such a good friend would she have treated you the way she did in the first place.. Personally you burn your bridges in my life then I'm not about to give you a permit to do it again.. Only u can decide how u feel and what is right for you

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By *oddyWoman
over a year ago

between havant and chichester

suggest a coffee and just play it by ear

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By *icky999Man
over a year ago

warrington

lifes to short for arseholes.

she took you for a mug four times before. do the only sencible thing, post some dog poop through her door and move on

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ok from the other side

Cos of my anxiety I fuck up sometimes n push people away on the two occasions I relizes id fucked up n apologized both friends rejected my apologies

One of the friends I was in the rite in what I said but I went about it in the wrong way

I don't no if I would take them back as friends without a good long hard honest chat because in my humble opinion they were feeling guilt too or they wouldn't of let the friendship go so easily

Good luck op just do what you feel most comfortable with xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"My old best friend has got back in touch, literally today!

Iv never stopped thinking about her and I miss her loads. We had such a great few years together.

However when things went wrong, she hated me for it and as much as I tried to make peace and get our friendship back, she threw it back in my face on several occassions.

Do I give her another chance??

What would your advice be?

I wouldn't bother,I had a best friend and as soon as I started going through a rough time she disappeared! I know as soon as it's over she will try running back but she will get a shock when I tell her to piss off x

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