FabSwingers.com forum: Trust.

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Has anyone ever had their trust completely broken by their fb/fwb?

I'm really struggling to trust my fwb again and I think my behaviour is starting to get a bit out of hand (and I find it hugely embarrassing) but I'm finding it really hard to rein it in.

Anyone got any advice how I man up and get over it??!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Depends on how bad you feel for this person sounds like your feelings want more than fb fwb relationship

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Take a break from them. See each other in like 2 weeks or so. If it's as bad tell them and cut the ties

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Take a break from them. See each other in like 2 weeks or so. If it's as bad tell them and cut the ties"

I barely see him anyway anymore to be fair but your completely right, it's just really hard, he's my best friend

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

you need a rebound or distraction.

theres not just one person in the world.

if he broke your trust then you deserve better than that.

have some pride and move on. if you continue to think about him, then it will haunt you and its NOT HEALTHY!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What do people expect from this site?

Honestly What the actual fuck are people expecting?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"What do people expect from this site?

Honestly What the actual fuck are people expecting?

Yeah I'm fucking stupid aren't I? I am quite aware of this, but thanks

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What do people expect from this site?

Honestly What the actual fuck are people expecting?

Yeah I'm fucking stupid aren't I? I am quite aware of this, but thanks"

That's not quite what I meant.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"What do people expect from this site?

Honestly What the actual fuck are people expecting?

Yeah I'm fucking stupid aren't I? I am quite aware of this, but thanks

That's not quite what I meant.

Ok, maybe I'm just particularly over sensitive today

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By *icky999Man
over a year ago

warrington

take bunny. boil in pot till he loves you

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"take bunny. boil in pot till he loves you

Thanks for that. I'd just prefer not to be lied too

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Always sad when you have a very good friend and they let you down or you fall out

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Do I come across as a bunny boiler?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Take a break from them. See each other in like 2 weeks or so. If it's as bad tell them and cut the ties

I barely see him anyway anymore to be fair but your completely right, it's just really hard, he's my best friend"

Which makes it even harder but he wont be the only one that comes along or the last

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"take bunny. boil in pot till he loves you

"
why do you have to be a bunny boiler just because you care for someone. Or someone is special to you ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Do I come across as a bunny boiler?"
No you come across as someone who cares. To some

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By *icky999Man
over a year ago

warrington

"take bunny. boil in pot till he loves you

why do you have to be a bunny boiler just because you care for someone. Or someone is special to you ? "

"my behavior is starting to get a bit out of hand"

read properly before you open your trap.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Do I come across as a bunny boiler? No you come across as someone who cares. To some "

Thank you, I'll be the first to admit that I'm questioning my sanity... I really want to believe what he says but Im finding it almost impossible.... And it makes me feel like a total bitch

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Take a break from them. See each other in like 2 weeks or so. If it's as bad tell them and cut the ties

I barely see him anyway anymore to be fair but your completely right, it's just really hard, he's my best friend

Which makes it even harder but he wont be the only one that comes along or the last"

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By *icky999Man
over a year ago

warrington

"Do I come across as a bunny boiler?"

not really hun. it can proper ruin your head when your falling for some one. you will get over it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"take bunny. boil in pot till he loves you

why do you have to be a bunny boiler just because you care for someone. Or someone is special to you ?

"my behavior is starting to get a bit out of hand"

read properly before you open your trap."
I did. And still opened it

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By *L RogueMan
over a year ago

London

It's all fun and games until someone gets hurt.

The ups and downs of Fabs.

You say your behaviour's getting out of hand. Maybe you both just need to have a heart2heart so you can tell him what's on your mind and he can do the same. For me, I think a boundary has been breached but the problem is no one or only one person knows what that boundary is.

Seeing a lot of this popping on Fabs recently...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"you need a rebound or distraction.

theres not just one person in the world.

if he broke your trust then you deserve better than that.

have some pride and move on. if you continue to think about him, then it will haunt you and its NOT HEALTHY!"

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"take bunny. boil in pot till he loves you

why do you have to be a bunny boiler just because you care for someone. Or someone is special to you ?

"my behavior is starting to get a bit out of hand"

read properly before you open your trap."

I meant I'm getting incredibly upset about it when it's probably not very healthy... Not that I'm stalking him!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just relax and take a step back.

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

If my fbs or loose friends dont work for me, I take a break. Some distance can help your mind to clear and any pain to subside. We can all be hurt or have trust knocked. We then need to take care of ourselves, without expectations that we may return to those people. The distancing is healthy, as is your giving to yourself whatever it is that you need, in order to be soothed and healed. Maybe its more time with friends, treats, time around nature, tons of fun? Be your own best friend for a while and you wont need to obsess over the experience.

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

Broken trust is harder than a shattered china tea cup to put back together.

What do you want from the relationship? Is he your best friend or the friend that you want to be your best friend?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"It's all fun and games until someone gets hurt.

The ups and downs of Fabs.

Seeing a lot of this popping on Fabs recently...

We have done but to be fair to him, he can't MAKE me trust him, this is all me... I don't know what else he can do

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Boiling bunnies is so wrong.....boil a man instead

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My ex fb lied to me a lot, told me he'd had no meets but then he'd show a new veri. Head fucks..... It's hard when you think you've found someone trustworthy and then they lie.

Fine if they want to see others, just be honest!!!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Broken trust is harder than a shattered china tea cup to put back together.

What do you want from the relationship? Is he your best friend or the friend that you want to be your best friend?

Umm I think he is my best friend, I'd say most people would have just walked away from me, that's why I'm trying really hard to trust him again

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"My ex fb lied to me a lot, told me he'd had no meets but then he'd show a new veri. Head fucks..... It's hard when you think you've found someone trustworthy and then they lie.

Fine if they want to see others, just be honest!!! "

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By *radleyandRavenCouple
over a year ago

Herts

So go back to just being friends...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No. I never had one lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Do I come across as a bunny boiler? No you come across as someone who cares. To some

Thank you, I'll be the first to admit that I'm questioning my sanity... I really want to believe what he says but Im finding it almost impossible.... And it makes me feel like a total bitch"

If the evidence is there that he is lying then obviously you're not a bitch for believing that. And yeah lies mess with your head and make you doubt yourself, depends on whether you want to believe the lies really rather than face the truth. Your head knows what's going on but you don't wanna believe it because it hurts.

People lie when it benefits them to do so. It's nothing to do with you really, it's how they want to represent themselves to others because they gain some benefit from that.

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By *L RogueMan
over a year ago

London

"My ex fb lied to me a lot, told me he'd had no meets but then he'd show a new veri. Head fucks..... It's hard when you think you've found someone trustworthy and then they lie.

Fine if they want to see others, just be honest!!!

I see.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"So go back to just being friends..."

Yeah we kinda are, but it's still not making me trust him anymore!!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Do I come across as a bunny boiler? No you come across as someone who cares. To some

Thank you, I'll be the first to admit that I'm questioning my sanity... I really want to believe what he says but Im finding it almost impossible.... And it makes me feel like a total bitch

People lie when it benefits them to do so. It's nothing to do with you really, it's how they want to represent themselves to others because they gain some benefit from that."

Thank you, I never really thought of it, I think I've been quite self obsessed in thinking it was because of me!!

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By *irceWoman
over a year ago

Gloucester

"Take a break from them. See each other in like 2 weeks or so. If it's as bad tell them and cut the ties

I barely see him anyway anymore to be fair but your completely right, it's just really hard, he's my best friend"

Omgosh same almost for me as well,

FaB has taken my emotions for a full spin cycle....all new for me and harsh.

Wish you all the best x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Do I come across as a bunny boiler? No you come across as someone who cares. To some

Thank you, I'll be the first to admit that I'm questioning my sanity... I really want to believe what he says but Im finding it almost impossible.... And it makes me feel like a total bitch

People lie when it benefits them to do so. It's nothing to do with you really, it's how they want to represent themselves to others because they gain some benefit from that.

Thank you, I never really thought of it, I think I've been quite self obsessed in thinking it was because of me!!

I used to feel the same, i know differently now. You're welcome.

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By *radleyandRavenCouple
over a year ago

Herts

"So go back to just being friends...

Yeah we kinda are, but it's still not making me trust him anymore!!"

Then perhaps it's time to reconsider having him in your life altogether?

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By *igeiaWoman
over a year ago

Bristol

My best mate and I had a big falling out linked to a FWB arrangement we occasionally had going on. So we knocked the benefits on the head, licked our respective wounds for a few weeks and reverted back to platonic. It took a while, but we both knew it would and more importantly told each other what was going on in our heads. Understanding why your behaviour is pissing you off is the first step; being good enough friends that you can talk about it calmly is the next. If you can't yet then give it more time but let him know that.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

http://m.fabswingers.com/forum/lounge/389066

Identical threads.

2 different responses.

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By *igeiaWoman
over a year ago

Bristol

"http://m.fabswingers.com/forum/lounge/389066

Identical threads.

2 different responses.

I didn't really understand the question on that one though hence why I didn't comment.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"http://m.fabswingers.com/forum/lounge/389066

Identical threads.

2 different responses.

I didn't really understand the question on that one though hence why I didn't comment.

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

"What do people expect from this site?

Honestly What the actual fuck are people expecting?

The bare minimum? Honesty, respect and kindness.

Perfectly possible to be totally nsa and still give that, and yes I know 'everyone lies' but I still say there's no damn need.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"My best mate and I had a big falling out linked to a FWB arrangement we occasionally had going on. So we knocked the benefits on the head, licked our respective wounds for a few weeks and reverted back to platonic. It took a while, but we both knew it would and more importantly told each other what was going on in our heads. Understanding why your behaviour is pissing you off is the first step; being good enough friends that you can talk about it calmly is the next. If you can't yet then give it more time but let him know that."

thank you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"http://m.fabswingers.com/forum/lounge/389066

Identical threads.

2 different responses.

I focused on the emotional aspects of each topic, and feel they were asking different questions.

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

"http://m.fabswingers.com/forum/lounge/389066

Identical threads.

2 different responses.

I don't even remember seeing that one.

This one is specific about a particular relationship. The other one seems more abstract and about the potential.

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By *L RogueMan
over a year ago

London

"http://m.fabswingers.com/forum/lounge/389066

Identical threads.

2 different responses.

Two sides to every story.

Two answers to every side!

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By *bsinthe_boyMan
over a year ago

Luton

There is nothing wrong with expecting honesty

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

"There is nothing wrong with expecting honesty"

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

Trust is fragile. Easily broken.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"There is nothing wrong with expecting honesty"

It's not so much that (although I totally agree) I just feel like I keep repeatedly punish him and I really don't want to, I made a choice to put it behind me and its my job to do that, but as lots a people said maybe I need to give myself a break and let time do it's thing, and in the mean time I'll just have to keep trying my best to keep a lid on it and my mouth shut!! Thank you for all your advice xx

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

"There is nothing wrong with expecting honesty

If you keep punishing him then some part of you still feels he needs punishing.

You say he's your best friend but are you his?

Or is he accepting the punishment because he is sorry he crossed a line with you and this is his way of making it up to you?

Talk to each other.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"My ex fb lied to me a lot, told me he'd had no meets but then he'd show a new veri. Head fucks..... It's hard when you think you've found someone trustworthy and then they lie.

Fine if they want to see others, just be honest!!!

Agreed!! This site is a head fk sometimes, honesty and a bit of respect go a long way if your in a fb/fwb relationship. Hope you get it sorted x

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"There is nothing wrong with expecting honesty

If you keep punishing him then some part of you still feels he needs punishing.

You say he's your best friend but are you his?

Or is he accepting the punishment because he is sorry he crossed a line with you and this is his way of making it up to you?

Talk to each other.

He says no, but I think probably it's more like your scenario really, I feel it's out of duty he sticks around, not out of want but he says that's not the case

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