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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Hi all please can I have some ladies views on what they would like to see in a profile I have been on here for a few months and have messaged about 40-50 people but have only ever had about 3 replies, I never ask about meeting in first messages in fact I never really talk about anything to do with adult stuff, I bemused by it all I don't understand how you can make a decision that you don't like somebody without even having some sort of conversation with, although I do know that you ladies get tons and tons of messages an hour.

I will only ever send one message and if I don't get a response I won't message again as I just take it that the person isn't interested, am I doing something wrong on here as this is now starting to feel like I am applying for jobs when I send out an introduction message now

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Hi all please can I have some ladies views on what they would like to see in a profile I have been on here for a few months and have messaged about 40-50 people but have only ever had about 3 replies, I never ask about meeting in first messages in fact I never really talk about anything to do with adult stuff, I bemused by it all I don't understand how you can make a decision that you don't like somebody without even having some sort of conversation with, although I do know that you ladies get tons and tons of messages an hour.

I will only ever send one message and if I don't get a response I won't message again as I just take it that the person isn't interested, am I doing something wrong on here as this is now starting to feel like I am applying for jobs when I send out an introduction message now "

being honest u say you dont want to message loads of people and yet on this thread you admit to messaging 40-50 people a tad condricting

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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk


"Hi all please can I have some ladies views on what they would like to see in a profile I have been on here for a few months and have messaged about 40-50 people but have only ever had about 3 replies, I never ask about meeting in first messages in fact I never really talk about anything to do with adult stuff, I bemused by it all I don't understand how you can make a decision that you don't like somebody without even having some sort of conversation with, although I do know that you ladies get tons and tons of messages an hour.

I will only ever send one message and if I don't get a response I won't message again as I just take it that the person isn't interested, am I doing something wrong on here as this is now starting to feel like I am applying for jobs when I send out an introduction message now "

If people look at your photos and don't fancy you, there's no point them getting to know you.

Most people on here aren't looking for a partner. It's about meeting for sex and most need to find the other person(s) attractive for that.

Also, rightly or wrongly, that you can't accommodate will put some people off.

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By *ordonBennettMan
over a year ago

dover


"Hi all please can I have some ladies views on what they would like to see in a profile I have been on here for a few months and have messaged about 40-50 people but have only ever had about 3 replies, I never ask about meeting in first messages in fact I never really talk about anything to do with adult stuff, I bemused by it all I don't understand how you can make a decision that you don't like somebody without even having some sort of conversation with, although I do know that you ladies get tons and tons of messages an hour.

I will only ever send one message and if I don't get a response I won't message again as I just take it that the person isn't interested, am I doing something wrong on here as this is now starting to feel like I am applying for jobs when I send out an introduction message now

being honest u say you dont want to message loads of people and yet on this thread you admit to messaging 40-50 people a tad condricting"

To be fair to the OP 40-50 messages over the course of several months is not that many, but I'd say you just have to be patient as there are so many more guys than women on here, and they get so many messages.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ok here's the thing .

All your pics are pretty much the same , and very generic .

You say you don't have much time to meet .

Best advice is to do some photos which may attract the attention of the recipient .

Message only those looking for a meet , and give them something to be tempted by .

Get a meet of some sort to get yourself verified , perhaps a club ?

Good luck

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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk


"Hi all please can I have some ladies views on what they would like to see in a profile I have been on here for a few months and have messaged about 40-50 people but have only ever had about 3 replies, I never ask about meeting in first messages in fact I never really talk about anything to do with adult stuff, I bemused by it all I don't understand how you can make a decision that you don't like somebody without even having some sort of conversation with, although I do know that you ladies get tons and tons of messages an hour.

I will only ever send one message and if I don't get a response I won't message again as I just take it that the person isn't interested, am I doing something wrong on here as this is now starting to feel like I am applying for jobs when I send out an introduction message now

being honest u say you dont want to message loads of people and yet on this thread you admit to messaging 40-50 people a tad condricting

To be fair to the OP 40-50 messages over the course of several months is not that many, but I'd say you just have to be patient as there are so many more guys than women on here, and they get so many messages."

His profile shows he's been here 7 weeks, so not even 2 months yet, never mind several.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's all about the pictures and how attractive you look. Speaking of pictures, you can't accommodate and you have a bedroom with a woman's touch, added to the fact you work away a lot, have pictures in hotel rooms and bathrooms, don't want anything too committal, I'd say you were also attached.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

And i thought this thread was about aliens.

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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk


"It's all about the pictures and how attractive you look. Speaking of pictures, you can't accommodate and you have a bedroom with a woman's touch, added to the fact you work away a lot, have pictures in hotel rooms and bathrooms, don't want anything too committal, I'd say you were also attached. "

Plus the name. Secret Search suggests having something to hide. That's just my take on it though and I could be wrong.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It's all about the pictures and how attractive you look. Speaking of pictures, you can't accommodate and you have a bedroom with a woman's touch, added to the fact you work away a lot, have pictures in hotel rooms and bathrooms, don't want anything too committal, I'd say you were also attached. "

Very observant

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Okay thanks for those that have given some feedback, interesting views may have to have a look at the overall profile again and see what I can change, feels like I've been here longer than 7 weeks but that's what it says.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Hi all please can I have some ladies views on what they would like to see in a profile I have been on here for a few months and have messaged about 40-50 people but have only ever had about 3 replies, I never ask about meeting in first messages in fact I never really talk about anything to do with adult stuff, I bemused by it all I don't understand how you can make a decision that you don't like somebody without even having some sort of conversation with, although I do know that you ladies get tons and tons of messages an hour.

I will only ever send one message and if I don't get a response I won't message again as I just take it that the person isn't interested, am I doing something wrong on here as this is now starting to feel like I am applying for jobs when I send out an introduction message now

being honest u say you dont want to message loads of people and yet on this thread you admit to messaging 40-50 people a tad condricting"

Touché was thinking much the same

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd agree about the married or attached observations. That in itself is no reason not to get meets though, but people will prefer you to be honest about your situation.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I had a quick glance at your profile OP and couldn't help feeling that the whole write up had something of a negative tone to it. Even your status comes across as negative.

Getting meets, especially for single guys, is hard work here and requires effort. Your current status, likening fab to applying for a job, gives off the wrong vibe. It suggests that you're really not keen on making an effort, and as many will tell you, effort in = rewards out.

You've been here for a little under two months. Most single guys wait around six months to get their first meet (I seem to remember having typed this several times before in other similar threads). Some wait longer, others have better success.

Anyway, to your profile text. I feel, and others may agree, that some of what you have written is unnecessary and just 'filler', though you've probably not intended it to be so.

For example 'Well not sure what to put in here, but here goes.'

Whilst I get where you're coming from, it's unnecessary. I appreciate it can be difficult writing about yourself and a first draft will usually be pretty much typing what you're thinking in relation to writing a profile, but I would suggest that once written, read it through a couple of times. How does it come across to you? Could it be improved? Is it the best you can do?

Be objective.

I often find myself going back to my profile and reading it through again. Sometimes giving it a minor tweak. It took me a fair few attempts to get my profile to something that I felt reflected who I am - got across an element of my sense of humour and personality etc.

I won't make any comments about your pictures, as others have already covered the subject rather well.

Again, as for not being able to accommodate, whilst there is nothing wrong with this, you should consider explaining why. As others have said, this, combined with other elements of your profile (pictures, user name etc) would give a lot of people the impression that you're married and playing away from home.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Thanks everybody I'm gonna have a play around with my profile, I have withdrawn it for now, but I am massively grateful for everybody's honesty, sometimes when you first try something you can't see the wood for the trees but I will be back many thanks

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