FabSwingers.com forum: Anyone remember

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Last year when I sort of dated that army guy that went away end of sept, came back 10 days before Xmas, messaged me to say he was back but when I suggested meeting for a drink he said think it's best not to see each other again. Well he went away again beginning of January but is back again now, on looking at his whatsapp he came back Sunday cos the status changed from out the country to back in Uk. Anyway, after what was said at Xmas time I didn't think I'd hear off him again and although I was a bit bummed I'm alright now and back to normal. He messaged me earlier 8 o clock, saying alright, how's you then, everything ok? I didn't notice the message for half hour so messaged back saying yeah I'm ok, you've bulked up and your tattoo'd gone bigger (because he's changed his whatsapp picture and he looks bigger and has had the tattoo on his arm extended) anyway he messaged back saying haha had a good look at my pic then, I messaged back yeah was checking your mate out! (Cos in the pic he's standing next to an afghan or Pakistan soldier or whatever nationality the guy was in the pic) he just messaged back lol. I haven't messaged back to that cos nothing I can say back to it but shit this has knocked my stuffing out of me cos I genuinely wasn't expecting to hear off him again.

What do I do forum c'mon this is what I need you for now I don't want to be crazy or make myself look like a wobble or fuck all. Lil help please

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You obviously care for him/want him otherwise you wouldn't be asking us.

Unless yer bored.

Meet him again with an open mind. Whether it's to be or not to be (thanks Will) only time will tell.

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

I remember the whole sorry tale.

You've sorted yourself out, got through the "trauma" and life carried on.

Expect nothing and, more importantly, offer nothing.

He is passing time with and no more.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well a good start would be asking how he is doing

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't know you or anything about this situation but put your long term feelings before anything else as it sounds like he's hurt you before. Good luck xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Last year when I sort of dated that army guy that went away end of sept, came back 10 days before Xmas, messaged me to say he was back but when I suggested meeting for a drink he said think it's best not to see each other again. Well he went away again beginning of January but is back again now, on looking at his whatsapp he came back Sunday cos the status changed from out the country to back in Uk. Anyway, after what was said at Xmas time I didn't think I'd hear off him again and although I was a bit bummed I'm alright now and back to normal. He messaged me earlier 8 o clock, saying alright, how's you then, everything ok? I didn't notice the message for half hour so messaged back saying yeah I'm ok, you've bulked up and your tattoo'd gone bigger (because he's changed his whatsapp picture and he looks bigger and has had the tattoo on his arm extended) anyway he messaged back saying haha had a good look at my pic then, I messaged back yeah was checking your mate out! (Cos in the pic he's standing next to an afghan or Pakistan soldier or whatever nationality the guy was in the pic) he just messaged back lol. I haven't messaged back to that cos nothing I can say back to it but shit this has knocked my stuffing out of me cos I genuinely wasn't expecting to hear off him again.

What do I do forum c'mon this is what I need you for now I don't want to be crazy or make myself look like a wobble or fuck all. Lil help please"

You look pretty stunning. Do you really want to be with someone who messes you about like that?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

probably back just for a shag..imo

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I do remember your post before Christmas actually.

It feels to me that if he is talking to you it's because he thinks there may be a shag on the cards.

I wouldn't go there.

Sorry.

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By *ancs MinxWoman
over a year ago

Burnley

"I do remember your post before Christmas actually.

It feels to me that if he is talking to you it's because he thinks there may be a shag on the cards.

I wouldn't go there.

Sorry. "

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I've been bored for 6 years but genuinely was interested in this guy, he was interesting!

I get the expect nothing and offer nothing, last time with him looking back I was a bit of a maniac, demanding him to message me back, kicking off if he had been online and not messaged me back. I don't even want to write the rest of what I was like.

Whys he messaging though, is it too full on if I ask how come he's messaging me now then? Just ignore the last message like my friend said and see if he messages again?

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By *oobsandballsMan
over a year ago

st andrews

Sadly I have to agree. It may be that he's changed his mind and wants to give a relationship a go, but how likely is that really?

What you need to weigh up is whether you are prepared to feel like that again if he is just after an occasional fuck.

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By *adybee77Woman
over a year ago

MAMOBA, miles and miles of bugger all (Aberdeenshire)

Sounds to me like he is bored and he sees you as an easy option to get a shag.

I'd not have replied to the whatsapp... but you did, so just ignore any further advances unless you want to go down that road again?

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By *oobsandballsMan
over a year ago

st andrews

I don't think there's any harm in talking to him until you work out what he's up to, but be careful

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Run. Run fast. Don't look back.

If you go back there he will have you dangling like a fish on a hook for the next few years.

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By *ab femWoman
over a year ago

Ayrshire

It sounds like he affects you in all the wrong ways. I would leave him to it. X

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I've been bored for 6 years but genuinely was interested in this guy, he was interesting!

Whys he messaging though, is it too full on if I ask how come he's messaging me now then? Just ignore the last message like my friend said and see if he messages again?"

If you ask him why he is messaging you, you probably won't get the honest answer.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I don't think there's any harm in talking to him until you work out what he's up to, but be careful "

Totally disagree. If there's history which means it's difficult to walk away, it will be even more difficult to walk away should she let him back in.

Get the barriers up and move on.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

as lovely as you are op..I just think he's back and most likely messaged "how's u doin!" messages to probably a few..I could be wrong...but known many fem friends who've had this...

I cant work out why he'd say it was best not to see each other again...maybe I'm just too cynical.

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By *erbyDalesCplCouple
over a year ago

Derbyshire

As a romantic I want to say, go for it, nothing to lose and enjoy what's on offer.

However it sounds like he knows how to play you so proceed with extreme caution and with very low expectations.

With best wishes

Mrs DDC

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I've been bored for 6 years but genuinely was interested in this guy, he was interesting!

Whys he messaging though, is it too full on if I ask how come he's messaging me now then? Just ignore the last message like my friend said and see if he messages again?"

Demanding!?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think he feels he can do what he likes when he likes and thinks you will still come back for more.

If you do you are just feeding his already inflated ego. You stated you where demanding etc but was the fact he was non committal making you like this as you needed some sort of reassurance from him and he was lacking in that department? He sounds like a person you really could do without in your life and I ma sure if you looked hard enough you will find someone on here that will spark that interest but also be a loyal friend not just an arse wipe. GL

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It sounds like he affects you in all the wrong ways. I would leave him to it. X"

this.....plus I don't think the fab forum could cope with the aftermath when it goes tits up!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I do remember your post before Christmas actually.

It feels to me that if he is talking to you it's because he thinks there may be a shag on the cards.

I wouldn't go there.

Sorry. "

I would have to agree.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

He maybe just being friendly but most likely wants something from you!

Ultimately it's up to you and what you want!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A wattsapp message is not a relationship...

Id stay away. He's just looking for a fuck, going the contact list.. See who bites.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Run. Run fast. Don't look back.

If you go back there he will have you dangling like a fish on a hook for the next few years."

This

Unless your happy to just get a quick jump, and from your post that's not what you want, ignore him.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I do remember your post before Christmas actually.

It feels to me that if he is talking to you it's because he thinks there may be a shag on the cards.

I wouldn't go there.

Sorry. "

I know but over Xmas time he could have had a shag but he said he thinks it's best we don't see each other agin cos he's going again soon, plus he said over Xmas he'll be seeing his son as much as he can before he goes then he was gone 7th of jan (phone goes off when he's out the country and that dates from last seen time on whatsapp)

Honestly honestly didn't expect to hear from him again, I picked up my phone to check if my boat had arrived on my hayday game and then saw the message.

I haven't had a shag for 7 months, I just can't be the one to initiate a meet cos last time it was thrown in my face.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Surely, an attractive woman like yourself should be able to find a more suitable guy to have a normal or indeed swinging relationship with? Surely.

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

"I've been bored for 6 years but genuinely was interested in this guy, he was interesting!

Whys he messaging though, is it too full on if I ask how come he's messaging me now then? Just ignore the last message like my friend said and see if he messages again?"

Don't ask and REALLY don't EXPECT an answer. What you are likely to get back are more things that raise questions for you.

Don't play games. If you want to meet him there is nothing we can say that will change your mind. If you go along with the hope of more than a shag then you will be setting yourself up for a disappointment in the long run. But, it could be the best shag of the year.

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By *issmorganWoman
over a year ago

Calderdale innit

I would leave him in the past and move on,sounds like hes checking if you are still an option for him.Its not worth the hurt if he has messed you about before ,good luck whatever you decide .

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"I've been bored for 6 years but genuinely was interested in this guy, he was interesting!

Whys he messaging though, is it too full on if I ask how come he's messaging me now then? Just ignore the last message like my friend said and see if he messages again?"

You are massively overthinking this.

Assume nothing, infer nothing, do nothing take it all at face value and back right off.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

OP, whatever you end up doing please look after yourself.

Don't get hurt. Xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

He's playing you for a fool and wants to empty his balls.

I really can't see your dilema - what are you getting out of this?

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By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago

Scotland - Aberdeen

You've been there and had the shite, don't be a mug and do it all again, just say on your bike, I'm not a mug, simple, but best of luck x

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

"I do remember your post before Christmas actually.

It feels to me that if he is talking to you it's because he thinks there may be a shag on the cards.

I wouldn't go there.

Sorry.

Honestly honestly didn't expect to hear from him again, I picked up my phone to check if my boat had arrived on my hayday game and then saw the message.

I haven't had a shag for 7 months, I just can't be the one to initiate a meet cos last time it was thrown in my face. "

I'm going to be unapologetically harsh now: you sound like a love struck teenager experiencing her first crush happy to take the scraps he brushes off the table - whether they are aimed at you or not.

Don't get yourself into a self-destructive pattern of thinking only this man is interesting and worth pursuing.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I do remember your post before Christmas actually.

It feels to me that if he is talking to you it's because he thinks there may be a shag on the cards.

I wouldn't go there.

Sorry. "

And I would agree with this. He doesn't want to shell out for an escort, so who does he think he can get a quick, free fuck from and leave? Put yourself and your feelings first here, not his 'needs'.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Don't give yourself away so easily. Be cold as fuck. If he wants it, make him work for it. There's nothing wrong with being in the driving seat. You take it where you want it to go and in your own time.

Probably miles away from what you want to hear, but you did ask for opinions!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

This is bollocks this is, every now and again I'd check the last online and when I saw not online since January I felt fine, now I know he's back and probably home in his mothers half hour away, makes me think about him again when I was doing alright minding my own business like.

Right rationalise, he's never gonna have a relationship with me cos he said before he wouldn't get into a relationship until he's done his 22 years, another 6 years left!

Last time I layed everything on a plate for him and more met him every weekend he was home.

Shake it off I think!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Athena, you are one of the hottest ladies in Fab. And that's saying something.

Surely we have some nice Welsh guys in here who could help distract Athena...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I do remember your post before Christmas actually.

It feels to me that if he is talking to you it's because he thinks there may be a shag on the cards.

I wouldn't go there.

Sorry.

Phrase that springs to mind is get a grip.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You're gonna shag him you know are.

Because no women is going to write a mahoosive post like that and NOT shag him.

You know you will.

But to be honest if he liked you he'd have kept in touch.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I do remember your post before Christmas actually.

It feels to me that if he is talking to you it's because he thinks there may be a shag on the cards.

I wouldn't go there.

Sorry.

Phrase that springs to mind is get a grip."

Who,me?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

This has made me smoke 8 day old fags that were in my drawer, hadn't had a fag for 8 days before tonight.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

/I'm out of this thread completely.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

He's back and wants sex, you want sex and it's clouding your judgement. The people that know you best, your friends advise you to ignore him but I have a feeling its not what you want to hear......

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I do remember your post before Christmas actually.

It feels to me that if he is talking to you it's because he thinks there may be a shag on the cards.

I wouldn't go there.

Sorry.

Honestly honestly didn't expect to hear from him again, I picked up my phone to check if my boat had arrived on my hayday game and then saw the message.

I haven't had a shag for 7 months, I just can't be the one to initiate a meet cos last time it was thrown in my face.

Don't get yourself into a self-destructive pattern of thinking only this man is interesting and worth pursuing.

Op is so absorbed by this guy she is not letting anyone else in.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"He's playing you for a fool and wants to empty his balls.

I really can't see your dilema - what are you getting out of this?"

my original comments seems to have been ignored lol

I just dont get it..Op was either too full on, or he just didnt care enough to keep contact...or future contact

I dont know what kind of mission he'd be on that he couldnt have some contact with someone..emails?letters?

there is the possibility of multiple sims u know...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You're gonna shag him you know are.

Because no women is going to write a mahoosive post like that and NOT shag him.

You know you will.

But to be honest if he liked you he'd have kept in touch.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"/I'm out of this thread completely. "

Me too.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"This is bollocks this is, every now and again I'd check the last online and when I saw not online since January I felt fine, now I know he's back and probably home in his mothers half hour away, makes me think about him again when I was doing alright minding my own business like.

Right rationalise, he's never gonna have a relationship with me cos he said before he wouldn't get into a relationship until he's done his 22 years, another 6 years left!

Last time I layed everything on a plate for him and more met him every weekend he was home.

Shake it off I think!

Definitely shake it off. You are a beautiful woman, don't be anyones mug. Xx

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By *ady LickWoman
over a year ago

Northampton Somewhere

So much good advice on here A. Move on. No one needs to be messed about emotionally. It's not fair xx

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

"This has made me smoke 8 day old fags that were in my drawer, hadn't had a fag for 8 days before tonight. "

Step away from the screens. Don't look to see what he is doing. You smoking because of this is surely a sign that you are in self-destruct mode?

As with the other posts telling you what you don't want to hear you will ignore this.

Follow Greedy Thump's post and get it out of the way. You can then spend another five months getting over it and stopping yourself from seeing anyone else as interesting enough to capture your attention.

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By *ab femWoman
over a year ago

Ayrshire

Stick to filling the orders for your boat on Hayday.

It's messed your head up already with just a couple of messages. Delete his number and block it so your not tempted to message him x

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

I remember him and your situation. I think you've perhaps given him too much today, some of your power donated.

I think there's something not right, at the core of your relationship. Take a long hard look at yourself. Get clear on what the warning signs are. For dating, is there not someone else who could free of such issues?

I'm a believer in working hard for,the right relationships. Just not if it's got warning signs, all over it.

Sometimes we kid ourselves, if something is alluring. It's better to be completely honest. Take care and good luck!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Athena, you are one of the hottest ladies in Fab. And that's saying something.

Surely we have some nice Welsh guys in here who could help distract Athena... "

Thank you, that's kind of you to say. I do try and keep an eye out for people but there's no one around.

I am listening and taking in every bodies comments as well. The advice does go in and does help, thanks.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"This has made me smoke 8 day old fags that were in my drawer, hadn't had a fag for 8 days before tonight. "

No it hasn't. You made yourself smoke them. The situation shouldn't control you, you should control it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Athena, you are one of the hottest ladies in Fab. And that's saying something.

Surely we have some nice Welsh guys in here who could help distract Athena...

Thank you, that's kind of you to say. I do try and keep an eye out for people but there's no one around.

I am listening and taking in every bodies comments as well. The advice does go in and does help, thanks. "

Are you actually actively looking?

Last I heard you had changed all your filters so no one could message and wasn't interested in meeting anyone.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Easy to say but dont give in to him, been there many a time and its all about them, they just give the talk to suit and hay ho x

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By *atalie..Woman
over a year ago

Bolton

Too late he knows your weaknesses already because of the "offered yourself on a plate" thingy...You are well in a tizzy he's got you right were he wants you and you know it

So here's hoping you have lots of mind blowing cobweb removing sex

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

What do I do forum c'mon this is what I need you for now I don't want to be crazy or make myself look like a wobble or fuck all. Lil help please"

Can't see your problem.

Bloke who doesn't want you, home on furlough with full balls that needs emptying has a temporary change of mind and you want to go there in the vain hope he may want you.

You and I both know you'll see him regardless.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 07/05/15 23:38:23]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Athena, you are one of the hottest ladies in Fab. And that's saying something.

Surely we have some nice Welsh guys in here who could help distract Athena...

Thank you, that's kind of you to say. I do try and keep an eye out for people but there's no one around.

I am listening and taking in every bodies comments as well. The advice does go in and does help, thanks. "

I'm from Wales!!!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Athena, you are one of the hottest ladies in Fab. And that's saying something.

Surely we have some nice Welsh guys in here who could help distract Athena...

Thank you, that's kind of you to say. I do try and keep an eye out for people but there's no one around.

I am listening and taking in every bodies comments as well. The advice does go in and does help, thanks.

Are you actually actively looking?

Last I heard you had changed all your filters so no one could message and wasn't interested in meeting anyone."

Had to turn messages off on here cos getting messages off unsuitable people is just too disheartening. Not interested in meeting people for a one off, don't think I'd find someone who wanted a relationship with me on here.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"Athena, you are one of the hottest ladies in Fab. And that's saying something.

Surely we have some nice Welsh guys in here who could help distract Athena...

Thank you, that's kind of you to say. I do try and keep an eye out for people but there's no one around.

I am listening and taking in every bodies comments as well. The advice does go in and does help, thanks.

Are you actually actively looking?

Last I heard you had changed all your filters so no one could message and wasn't interested in meeting anyone.

Why not apply the same logic to this guy then?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Athena, you are one of the hottest ladies in Fab. And that's saying something.

Surely we have some nice Welsh guys in here who could help distract Athena...

Thank you, that's kind of you to say. I do try and keep an eye out for people but there's no one around.

I am listening and taking in every bodies comments as well. The advice does go in and does help, thanks.

Are you actually actively looking?

Last I heard you had changed all your filters so no one could message and wasn't interested in meeting anyone.

your not going to find many people these days on any site thatll agree to meeting for a relationship..it starts as a one-off, regardless of what sites used.What you do on that one-off is entirely up to you....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Athena, you are one of the hottest ladies in Fab. And that's saying something.

Surely we have some nice Welsh guys in here who could help distract Athena...

Thank you, that's kind of you to say. I do try and keep an eye out for people but there's no one around.

I am listening and taking in every bodies comments as well. The advice does go in and does help, thanks.

Are you actually actively looking?

Last I heard you had changed all your filters so no one could message and wasn't interested in meeting anyone.

I wouldn't rule out a relationship with someone from this site. I think for me it's all about the person and how we connect and if we mutually agree to take it further!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I actually give shit hot advice to other people but when it comes to taking my own advice it's hard. I know what I need to do, forget that he's messaged, got loads of things coming up, uk hen next month to see the dreamboys then Marbella hen in July then my friends wedding in august and I'm bridesmaid, will be loads of fit guys there in the night as my friend works in a gym and a bar and her fiancé works in the same place as me but also a door man so knows lots of guys!

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By *ancadamMan
over a year ago

Stockport

"You've been there and had the shite, don't be a mug and do it all again, just say on your bike, I'm not a mug, simple, but best of luck x "
absolutely this!! i followed your forum on this and felt very sorry for the way he treated you as a woman and human being.he discarded you.for some reason he has got you hooked .he is a penus on legs with no thought for you.i think he gets off on the humiliation of women he has sex with .please.recover your self esteem.you sound lovely but needy....you look lovely but don't realise it.ignore him.but for a real boost to your self.....if he texts again....ignore him....he will be as devastated as you have been.you can't win this one.he's a twat . take care. xxxxx

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By *arnayguyMan
over a year ago

Durham Tees

" Not interested in meeting people for a one off"

Which it very likely will be with him.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

" Not interested in meeting people for a one off

Which it very likely will be with him. "

And there's the irony.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I remember the whole sorry tale.

You've sorted yourself out, got through the "trauma" and life carried on.

Expect nothing and, more importantly, offer nothing.

He is passing time with and no more.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Only slightly tongue in cheek, but if i were a lezzie, oh if only, i'd offer you an alternative.

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By *oobsandballsMan
over a year ago

st andrews

Sweet baby cheeses, I take back what I said.

'I can't have a relationship for 22 years because I'm in the army?' Bullshit.

If a couple of messages have driven you to smoking, delete and block his number. This guy is playing you like a fiddle, don't let him.

Whether you are looking for a relationship or not, this site is full of lovely fun no pressure guys that can make you value yourself again.

Tell this twat to do one. He fooled you once, shame on him. Fooled you twice? That's on you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I do remember your post before Christmas actually.

It feels to me that if he is talking to you it's because he thinks there may be a shag on the cards.

I wouldn't go there.

Sorry.

Honestly honestly didn't expect to hear from him again, I picked up my phone to check if my boat had arrived on my hayday game and then saw the message.

I haven't had a shag for 7 months, I just can't be the one to initiate a meet cos last time it was thrown in my face.

Don't get yourself into a self-destructive pattern of thinking only this man is interesting and worth pursuing.

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By *ancadamMan
over a year ago

Stockport

"I actually give shit hot advice to other people but when it comes to taking my own advice it's hard. I know what I need to do, forget that he's messaged, got loads of things coming up, uk hen next month to see the dreamboys then Marbella hen in July then my friends wedding in august and I'm bridesmaid, will be loads of fit guys there in the night as my friend works in a gym and a bar and her fiancé works in the same place as me but also a door man so knows lots of guys!"
now you are talking!! please don't let him in....he's cheapening you for kicks.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Sweet baby cheeses, I take back what I said.

'I can't have a relationship for 22 years because I'm in the army?' Bullshit.

If a couple of messages have driven you to smoking, delete and block his number. This guy is playing you like a fiddle, don't let him.

Whether you are looking for a relationship or not, this site is full of lovely fun no pressure guys that can make you value yourself again.

Tell this twat to do one. He fooled you once, shame on him. Fooled you twice? That's on you. "

He was married and has a child but in 2012 she said she didn't love him anymore and couldn't cope anymore with the length of time he's away and his lack of communication when he is away amongst other things. Now he's said he won't have another relationship again till he's out cos he thinks all women will get pissed off eventually. His words, I reckon he's a scorned man!

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"Sweet baby cheeses, I take back what I said.

'I can't have a relationship for 22 years because I'm in the army?' Bullshit.

If a couple of messages have driven you to smoking, delete and block his number. This guy is playing you like a fiddle, don't let him.

Whether you are looking for a relationship or not, this site is full of lovely fun no pressure guys that can make you value yourself again.

Tell this twat to do one. He fooled you once, shame on him. Fooled you twice? That's on you.

Would you listen to yourself!

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By *oobsandballsMan
over a year ago

st andrews

"He was married and has a child but in 2012 she said she didn't love him anymore and couldn't cope anymore with the length of time he's away and his lack of communication when he is away amongst other things. Now he's said he won't have another relationship again till he's out cos he thinks all women will get pissed off eventually. His words, I reckon he's a scorned man! "

Quite possibly, however that's no excuse for him to treat you like something he trod on.

The problem here isn't him sweetie, it's that he's knocked down your self esteem so that you don't feel that you deserve better. Trust us, you do.

Ignore him, focus on yourself and building up your confidence.

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Cheeseville, Somerset

"You've been there and had the shite, don't be a mug and do it all again, just say on your bike, I'm not a mug, simple, but best of luck x absolutely this!! i followed your forum on this and felt very sorry for the way he treated you as a woman and human being.he discarded you.for some reason he has got you hooked .he is a penus on legs with no thought for you.i think he gets off on the humiliation of women he has sex with .please.recover your self esteem.you sound lovely but needy....you look lovely but don't realise it.ignore him.but for a real boost to your self.....if he texts again....ignore him....he will be as devastated as you have been.you can't win this one.he's a twat . take care. xxxxx"

You may slag him off.

But is he behaving any differently to many members of this site - male, female or couple? Saying what he hopes will get him a shag. And he's doing nothing different to many single guys in the forces home on leave - trying to hook up with a previous meet.

He's not here to put his side across.

As is often said - there's normally three sides to any story. We've heard one.

There's his - and the real story which is probably a mix of both parties _iewpoints.

If this was a tale of two Fabsters I suspect the opinions and advice would be somewhat different.

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By *oconut2Woman
over a year ago

Nether regions of the back of beyond

Forget him hun, I was in the same position a few years back and let him pick me up then drop me when he felt like it, each time it hurt more than the last and it's just not worth it x

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Sweet baby cheeses, I take back what I said.

'I can't have a relationship for 22 years because I'm in the army?' Bullshit.

If a couple of messages have driven you to smoking, delete and block his number. This guy is playing you like a fiddle, don't let him.

Whether you are looking for a relationship or not, this site is full of lovely fun no pressure guys that can make you value yourself again.

Tell this twat to do one. He fooled you once, shame on him. Fooled you twice? That's on you.

Would you listen to yourself!

I know I'm an idiot with regards to things like this. It's cool now I'll try not to give it any more thought. Just watching the votes coming in on telly.

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By *ancadamMan
over a year ago

Stockport

You may slag him off.

He's not here to put his side across.

As is often said - there's normally three sides to any story. We've heard one.

There's his - and the real story which is probably a mix of both parties _iewpoints.

If this was a tale of two Fabsters I suspect the opinions and advice would be somewhat different.

A"
you are absolutely right.but for this lady and the circumstances it is clearly toxic and damaging to her.everyone should avoid cruel people male or female.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I wouldn't say he was cruel, from the start he told me he wasn't looking for a relationship, it was me that let things develop in my head that wasn't really there. Before he went away the first time he knew how I felt about him then when he came back at Xmas and I asked to see him (he would have known I would have slept with him) he said he thinks it's best not to see each other again as he'd be going away again soon and he did for 5 months, now he's back again and messaged when I didn't think I'd hear off him. Don't think he's cruel, just not able to give me what I want.

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By *oobsandballsMan
over a year ago

st andrews

Then leave him be, and get what you want elsewhere

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

I think you're quite self aware and know what you're doing here. You're getting a grip on this, just hang on tight and you'll be fine

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By *ancadamMan
over a year ago

Stockport

"I wouldn't say he was cruel, from the start he told me he wasn't looking for a relationship, it was me that let things develop in my head that wasn't really there. Before he went away the first time he knew how I felt about him then when he came back at Xmas and I asked to see him (he would have known I would have slept with him) he said he thinks it's best not to see each other again as he'd be going away again soon and he did for 5 months, now he's back again and messaged when I didn't think I'd hear off him. Don't think he's cruel, just not able to give me what I want. "
oh darling you are so lovely and forgiving.he discarded you ...after indications and implying you were an item .remember the family wedding? who finishes with someone for the flimsy reason he gave???? you are worth so very much more .he was probably knocking someone else off.sorry to be brutal but he has caused you pain not pleasure.he is playing you and getting off on it . please ...you are worth so very much more.x

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By *tarbeckCouple
over a year ago

york

"OP, whatever you end up doing please look after yourself.

Don't get hurt. Xx"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

That makes sense.

Then again, you know it'll be six years before it can really change. And still there'll be no guarantees. Never is actually.

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By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

I think he is just using you for sex...as a fuck and go.... if you can do the same to him go for it... but don't expect anything more or you will get hurt

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By *B9 QueenWoman
over a year ago

Over the rainbow, under the bridge

"probably back just for a shag..imo"

I agree. Avoid. I got caught up like this once when I was younger. Ended up broken hearted twice. A shags not worth the pain.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Smacks a little, of obsession, no offence, take a step back and look at your posts. Either stay away, or prepare to feel exactly as you felt, the last time.... X

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Athena- What advice would you give if it was someone else in your position - like a good friend?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I do remember your post before Christmas actually.

It feels to me that if he is talking to you it's because he thinks there may be a shag on the cards.

I wouldn't go there.

Sorry.

I know but over Xmas time he could have had a shag but he said he thinks it's best we don't see each other again

cos he's going again soon, plus he said over Xmas he'll be seeing his son as much as he can before he goes then he was gone 7th of jan (phone goes off when he's out the country and that dates from last seen time on whatsapp)

Honestly honestly didn't expect to hear from him again, I picked up my phone to check if my boat had arrived on my hayday game and then saw the message.

I haven't had a shag for 7 months, I just can't be the one to initiate a meet cos last time it was thrown in my face. "

I know nothing of the situation apart from what I've read on this thread! However it could have been that over Xmas he had found someone else to shag so felt he didn't need u anymore. Since he went away she's found a new man? So now he's thinking who can I see now! Oh I know!

So he messages u! Messes with ur head! Gets u all flustered he meets and do what you do! Until something better comes along and you're put on the back burner as somebody he can come back to! Because he's done it b4!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

He's playing you, I said this at Christmas. He knows how you feel, he's just back from deployment and he wants an easy shag.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Tell him you have met someone else,that will give his ego a knock!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Show yourself some respect. This guy obviously makes you crasy so stay away from him. Why would you let yourself fall into the same trap?

Personally if a guy said he didn't want me and then changed him mind I would tell him to do one.

It really annoys me the amount of crap some women will take just to get a guy.

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By *ombshellWoman
over a year ago

islington

"He's playing you, I said this at Christmas. He knows how you feel, he's just back from deployment and he wants an easy shag."

agree......just fuck him off, he is not worth the effort

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By *issHottieBottieWoman
over a year ago

Kent

Just block his number. Delete his whatsapp contact. Then you won't be tempted to check on him.,

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Just block his number. Delete his whatsapp contact. Then you won't be tempted to check on him.,"

couldn't agree more!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm sure there are a few other nice Welsh people about ...

If you are happy to have something fun and casual then go for it, he's pretty open about not wanting a relationship.

If you want to settle down or date then avoid him as you already know it won't work out.

Your both adults and he hasn't really done anything wrong so no need to go blocking or deleting x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I suspect hes going through his contacts list and like others have said ..sent the same message to many .. takes a long time to get over hurt but a blink of an eye to bring back those feelings .. id be keeping a distance

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I honestly don't believe he met anyone else whilst he was home for 18 days over Xmas, his priority was spending as much time as possible with his child before he had to go away again.

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By *oobsandballsMan
over a year ago

st andrews

Athena, you're going to do what you're going to do, regardless of anyone else's opinion.

All people are asking is that you think long and hard about the way he treated you and made you feel, and whether you want to go through that again.

The only person who can make that choice is you. I wish you luck

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

OP I'm with the rest of the forum posters in that this guy is messaging only because he wants sex.

Why the majority of us are united in this opinion is that the situation is glaringly obvious to all but you. You are making excuses about his role in the army, the Xmas thing etc. Honey he doesn't want you, just sex.

I don't mean to be nasty about it, it's really hard when we like someone and I can tell you want to be with him but he won't give you what you really want because he just doesn't want to.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If I thought for one moment that you'd take my advice I'd happily give it, but you're not in control of this and you do seem to have become obsessive.

Having been in similar positions to him, it's not difficult to see where his head is.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Oh my reading this, my heart hurts for you sweetheart.

You fell for him hook line and sinker.

Love is a bitch x

Going cold turkey is the only way to go babe.

Delete, block, ignore, you'll never meet someone else or let anyone else in while you obsess over him.

I was in a similar position when I was younger, we had a baby together and I did some pretty crazy shit trying to keep my family together. But when a friend slapped me upside the face and I realised I was actually better off x

Hurt like hell, but he's now fat and hasn't aged well, dead end job and fugly wife.

We're I've had a fabulous life and succeeded in providing for my daughter alone x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I do remember your post before Christmas actually.

It feels to me that if he is talking to you it's because he thinks there may be a shag on the cards.

I wouldn't go there.

Sorry.

Phrase that springs to mind is get a grip.

Who,me?"

No not you sorry was meant to be for o p I should have been clearer.

O p comes across too needy

for my liking.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I do remember your post before Christmas actually.

It feels to me that if he is talking to you it's because he thinks there may be a shag on the cards.

I wouldn't go there.

Sorry.

Phrase that springs to mind is get a grip.

Who,me?

No not you sorry was meant to be for o p I should have been clearer.

O p comes across too needy

for my liking."

Just say "too needy" I'm not looking to be liked by you so no need to add "for my liking" You're just giving an opinion, that opinion should be, I think the op is too needy,end of. To say "for my liking" implies that you think you'd have a chance if it weren't for the fact I was needy.

It's like when someone messages saying oh if only you were closer, implying that if it wasn't for the distance they'd be able to meet me, it's like nooooo even if you lived next door to me you wouldn't have a chance.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Oh my reading this, my heart hurts for you sweetheart.

You fell for him hook line and sinker.

Love is a bitch x

Going cold turkey is the only way to go babe.

Delete, block, ignore, you'll never meet someone else or let anyone else in while you obsess over him.

Hurt like hell, but he's now fat and hasn't aged well, dead end job and fugly wife.

We're I've had a fabulous life and succeeded in providing for my daughter alone x"

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By *ady LickWoman
over a year ago

Northampton Somewhere

So......did you??

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Squaddies are mainly all the same. New posting new fun. Usually married and dedicated to job. Sounds like you really like him though. Please dont get hurt hun. Are you just another bit of fun for whilst he is around. Speaking from experience. I was just daft enough to marry one.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"So......did you??"

Did I what now I'm confused!

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By *ady LickWoman
over a year ago

Northampton Somewhere

"So......did you??

Did I what now I'm confused!"

Reply to his message/arrange to meet him or do the sensible thing? My mum said to me once never to get involved with anyone from the forces. She never gave a reason but she was a woman who had two children with two different American air force guys. Not good in those days

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"So......did you??

Did I what now I'm confused!

The first two I did but the last one off him was just "lol" now I fucking hate lol's! Can't really reply to a lol, now my friend said I closed the message down because he messaged saying "had a good look at my pic then" I could have said something flirty which would have gone back an forth but I said yeah, was looking at your mate!

Was just a bit of a surprise lastnight, wasn't expecting to hear off him again. The glass half full side of the brain says maybe he's had 5 months to realise that I'm a masterpiece and a good person to have around but the logical side of my brain, the side that makes decisions and shit says he had his chance and that's it done. No effort on my part will be made.

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By *urvybrunette91Woman
over a year ago

tidworth

Athena... Please just leave the situation.

In my opinion, knowing a lot of soldiers, and marrying one... He would've met someone over Christmas (someone who was truly NSA) and probably met someone while he is away.

After travelling to a lot of different countries for months at a time, there was literally no place where contact was not available. If he cared, he would've contacted you.

End it now before you develop true feelings xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I honestly don't believe he met anyone else whilst he was home for 18 days over Xmas, his priority was spending as much time as possible with his child before he had to go away again. "

I think that is quite possibly one of the most gullible things I've heard..sorry.

24hrs a day with his son?

months away with probably no sex(prob a bit of porn)

back in the uk..and doesnt want at least one/two days/nites of fun?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What do I do forum c'mon this is what I need you for now I don't want to be crazy or make myself look like a wobble or fuck all. Lil help please"

Block him.

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By *allipygousMan
over a year ago

Leicester

OP, I can't be arsed to read the whole thread but I think you should follow your heart then when he does the same thing as last time you can tell us all about it again.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"OP, I can't be arsed to read the whole thread but I think you should follow your heart then when he does the same thing as last time you can tell us all about it again."

Can't wait.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I honestly don't believe he met anyone else whilst he was home for 18 days over Xmas, his priority was spending as much time as possible with his child before he had to go away again.

I think that is quite possibly one of the most gullible things I've heard..sorry.

24hrs a day with his son?

months away with probably no sex(prob a bit of porn)

back in the uk..and doesnt want at least one/two days/nites of fun?"

I know he didn't because he's too lazy to make the effortog finding a new person. If he wanted a shag that badly he would've had one from me. He's been away for months then comes back days before Xmas, days to do all his Xmas shopping, days to see all the extra family that was down (I know this) yes he would have been with his son then he was gone again.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I honestly don't believe he met anyone else whilst he was home for 18 days over Xmas, his priority was spending as much time as possible with his child before he had to go away again.

I think that is quite possibly one of the most gullible things I've heard..sorry.

24hrs a day with his son?

months away with probably no sex(prob a bit of porn)

back in the uk..and doesnt want at least one/two days/nites of fun?

I'm wondering who you are trying to convince? I don't profess to know the circumstances, I don't know you, him, or the situation, what I do know from your posts, you are an intelligent, attractive woman, and it's pretty, clear you are being played.. And will end up deeply hurt once again. I think your mind is already set... X

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Oh my reading this, my heart hurts for you sweetheart.

You fell for him hook line and sinker.

Love is a bitch x

Going cold turkey is the only way to go babe.

Delete, block, ignore, you'll never meet someone else or let anyone else in while you obsess over him.

Hurt like hell, but he's now fat and hasn't aged well, dead end job and fugly wife.

We're I've had a fabulous life and succeeded in providing for my daughter alone x"

I had a similar situation, no forces guy or kids involved, just my emotions falling for someone, said id never let it happen again, stupidly I did get some feelings for someone, who I doubt ill hear from again unless he wants sex and id have to be strong not to go, because, lets face it, some men to have the ability to pull us back to them. Hope you can get through this OP and move on to find someone who treats you better.

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By *oobsandballsMan
over a year ago

st andrews

I honestly don't believe he met anyone else whilst he was home for 18 days over Xmas, his priority was spending as much time as possible with his child before he had to go away again.

I think that is quite possibly one of the most gullible things I've heard..sorry.

24hrs a day with his son?

months away with probably no sex(prob a bit of porn)

back in the uk..and doesnt want at least one/two days/nites of fun?

Totally agree. If he's going to treat you like that he will have no problem also telling you lies. There is no way he hasn't fucked someone else.

You're making excuses for him, and you sound obsessed with this guy. You're going to meet him, fuck him and be left in the dirt again.

The only person who can break this cycle is you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What do I do forum c'mon this is what I need you for now I don't want to be crazy or make myself look like a wobble or fuck all. Lil help please"
.

I would let it all slide until he's back from duty for awhile.

Being on tour psychologicaly fucks some peoples minds up in ways that someone who's not done it can't understand!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You had already made your decision before posting..you will message back no matter what you read....good luck

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By *ELLONS AND CREAMWoman
over a year ago

stourbridge area

OP you sound like a really nice lady

Just block him ....hes playing with your mind .... dont waste your time ... he probably got several profiles on the go

Dont believe a word xx

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I honestly don't believe he met anyone else whilst he was home for 18 days over Xmas, his priority was spending as much time as possible with his child before he had to go away again.

I think that is quite possibly one of the most gullible things I've heard..sorry.

24hrs a day with his son?

months away with probably no sex(prob a bit of porn)

back in the uk..and doesnt want at least one/two days/nites of fun?

Totally agree. If he's going to treat you like that he will have no problem also telling you lies. There is no way he hasn't fucked someone else.

You're making excuses for him, and you sound obsessed with this guy. You're going to meet him, fuck him and be left in the dirt again.

The only person who can break this cycle is you. "

I'm not making excuses I just know what his personality is like, I haven't messaged him back, no effort will be made on my part. I know what I want and I know he can't give me that. If he made contact again and wanted to meet up I would go for a coffee with him as a friend because I'm a nosey bastard and would genuinely want to hear 1st hand what's going on in the place he was in. If he wanted a shag I could turn that down, just him wanting to have sex would be a victory in my eyes because he feels like the guy I was never able to get, a guy turning me down is something I've never experienced before. Also before he left the first time I told him that I was starting to have feelings for him and said that the only way I'd sleep with him again was if he was willing to have a relationship. He turned down my offer to meet at Xmas time which would have been a guaranteed shag. He went away and is back again. He probably won't even message me again now cos I never responded to him. So as far as I'm concerned it's done with. I have my friends UK hen next month and my birthday, have the Marbella hen in July then I'm bridesmaid in august, have plenty to be getting on with.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"OP you sound like a really nice lady

Just block him ....hes playing with your mind .... dont waste your time ... he probably got several profiles on the go

Dont believe a word xx

Several profiles on what? He's not on here, Christ no, I saw him on a night out last year, thought he was fit, asked if he was single and got his number.

Feel like I'm being forced in a position to defend him from people saying he's a liar that treats people like shit when all he's guilty of is being a bit of a chancer.

Honestly it's done now, I know what I want and he's not able to offer me that, if I want a one off fuck I'll get one from here.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I remember the post from a while back

Seems to me like the situation is just going to repeat its self time and time again if he's going home them being deployed and repeat

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

What do I do forum c'mon this is what I need you for now I don't want to be crazy or make myself look like a wobble or fuck all. Lil help please"

He's not interested in you in any other way except as a casual contact.

I wouldn't even say friend.

You're just 'some bird' he knows.

Answer his texts but never meet again. Not with the unrequited feelings you have.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

I've just read some of others responses.

I don't see that he is doing anything wrong.

It's you who has to call the shots now and given the way you feel about him just be polite and never meet.

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By *asonnosaMMan
over a year ago

Grantham

OP dam he must be crazy to not want you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"OP you sound like a really nice lady

Just block him ....hes playing with your mind .... dont waste your time ... he probably got several profiles on the go

Dont believe a word xx

Several profiles on what? He's not on here, Christ no, I saw him on a night out last year, thought he was fit, asked if he was single and got his number.

Feel like I'm being forced in a position to defend him from people saying he's a liar that treats people like shit when all he's guilty of is being a bit of a chancer.

Honestly it's done now, I know what I want and he's not able to offer me that, if I want a one off fuck I'll get one from here. "

Chin up ducky.

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

I remember it well.

If you always do, what you always did

You will always get, what you always got.

And it is never truer.

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