FabSwingers.com forum: Boring husband

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I must have the most boring man in the world.

I suggest getting a babysitter and going for a drink yet all I hear is 'I'm too tired'.

I work long hours also yet I don't have time to snooze cuz of the kids needing minded/home works done etc.

Is anyone else in the same predicament as me? Any suggestions on how to turn things around? I'm so pissed off I need a life away from him.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Blowjob

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I must have the most boring man in the world.

I suggest getting a babysitter and going for a drink yet all I hear is 'I'm too tired'.

I work long hours also yet I don't have time to snooze cuz of the kids needing minded/home works done etc.

Is anyone else in the same predicament as me? Any suggestions on how to turn things around? I'm so pissed off I need a life away from him.

Perhaps if you're fundamentally incompatible, you should consider leaving so that you can have your life away with him?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You've got a single woman's profile so it seems you already have a life away from him?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Show him your fab profile and all your problems will be solved

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By *ecretlyASoftieWoman
over a year ago

Hull but travel regularly

Have you asked him what he wants to do?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I must have the most boring man in the world.

If you insist, ready when you are.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Have you asked him what he wants to do?"

Yeah he wants to sleep continually when not at work. Sick hearing 'I'm so tired' continually. We can't afford financially to be apart and we have kids. It's so bloody boring being married to him. He's dragging me down.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Maybe he doesn't want to go for a drink but something he is more interested in might work. Maybe the fact you have a single woman profile on here is helping crush the life out of your marriage?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I must have the most boring man in the world.

If you insist, ready when you are.

Blowjob?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Maybe he doesn't want to go for a drink but something he is more interested in might work. Maybe the fact you have a single woman profile on here is helping crush the life out of your marriage?

Hence reason I set up sgl profile. I need excitement not boredom.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You've got a single woman's profile so it seems you already have a life away from him? "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Have you asked him what he wants to do?

Maybe he has a problem that he doesn't want to share with you. Perhaps he's got an illness and he won't go to the doctor.

Perhaps he think's you're a bitch because you're thinking about playing away and just wants as little to do with you as possible, while knowing that he can't afford to kick you out.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Take yer kids out for a walk round the park. Who knows, it may be enjoyable.

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By *rsIdiotWoman
over a year ago

Bedworth

"Maybe he doesn't want to go for a drink but something he is more interested in might work. Maybe the fact you have a single woman profile on here is helping crush the life out of your marriage?

Hence reason I set up sgl profile. I need excitement not boredom. "

Have you discussed having a profile with him? If not then I suggest that you do.

Cheating is not the answer to issues within your marriage.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

OP life isn't a bed of roses it doesn't owe you anything. Maybe he is boring but maybe that's because he's not happy either.....

Do what you need to do by all means but try and have some respect for the man by not slagging him off to random strangers.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Perhaps he's always tired because he has a very popular profile on here?

Reply to that a la Rupert Holmes's Escape.

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By *ynecplCouple
over a year ago

Newcastle upon Tyne

How about you actually talk to him about what he wants to do. If he says he is too tired then tell him how you feel and that you want to put the spark back in your marriage. That then puts the onus on him as he knows things are not well at home.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Maybe and here is a crazy idea.

Have you tried talking to him?

Maybe he is suffering from depression and needs the love and support of family.

Maybe he feels same as you.

It can't be all his fault?

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By *uby0000Woman
over a year ago

hertfordshire

perhaps he is just knackered

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By *epper123Woman
over a year ago

London

I was with my previous partner for over a year and we had sex three times. Our relationship ultimately broke up over other things but I do wonder how I managed to cope, as does my current partner, as we are sexually compatible. In that relationship I never cheated on him, but was not happy. Took other things to end it. Sexual comparability is important in a relationship, but everything is your choice.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"You've got a single woman's profile so it seems you already have a life away from him?

I can rarely get away to meet as I work 3 nights as well as days. After wrk I'm expected home. I'm the one expected to settle the kids on my nights off as well as catching up on chores. Not much fun for me. X

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By *innamon!Woman
over a year ago

no matter

Get dressed up and go out with a GF ..have some fun

bugger the ole man!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

maybe he's tired all the time cos he's ill??? diabetes perhaps, a visit to the doctor might help

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Maybe and here is a crazy idea.

Have you tried talking to him?

Maybe he is suffering from depression and needs the love and support of family.

Maybe he feels same as you.

It can't be all his fault?

I hve tried talking. We both make effort for few wks then it all goes back to the way it was.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Get dressed up and go out with a GF ..have some fun

bugger the ole man!"

Now that sounds like a plan

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Get dressed up and go out with a GF ..have some fun

bugger the ole man!"

Get his consent first, plus lube.

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By *inkxRabbitWoman
over a year ago

Mostly in GU24

Mine's am award winning bore lol. Hence my fab life.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Get dressed up and go out with a GF ..have some fun

bugger the ole man!"

With the friend too?

She's at the right site after all

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By *issmorganWoman
over a year ago

Calderdale innit

"OP life isn't a bed of roses it doesn't owe you anything. Maybe he is boring but maybe that's because he's not happy either.....

Do what you need to do by all means but try and have some respect for the man by not slagging him off to random strangers.

This totally

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You've got a single woman's profile so it seems you already have a life away from him?

This is why i split with my kids dad. Sick of doing everything while he sat on his arse. He's probably tired coz he doesn't do anything, no stamina etc.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Or maybe his work does make him tired, Have a night with just the two of you and no kids, It might put some spark back into your life

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Have you asked him what he wants to do?

I don't know his job but maybe it's something at work that's getting him down and wanting to spend all day in bed

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By *innamon!Woman
over a year ago

no matter

"Get dressed up and go out with a GF ..have some fun

bugger the ole man!

Get his consent first, plus lube.

Consent! what century do you live in ..

Just cos you have a night out with the girls doesnt mean you are going to mess around..

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Maybe he doesn't want to go for a drink but something he is more interested in might work. Maybe the fact you have a single woman profile on here is helping crush the life out of your marriage?

Hence reason I set up sgl profile. I need excitement not boredom.

Have you discussed having a profile with him? If not then I suggest that you do.

Cheating is not the answer to issues within your marriage. "

He's so old fashioned he'd freak if he knew I had a profile. Suggesting one together would cause more shit.

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By *innamon!Woman
over a year ago

no matter

Sounds depressed .. money work pressure and family often men lose interest in everything. The burden and responsibility weighs them down.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Get dressed up and go out with a GF ..have some fun

bugger the ole man!

Get his consent first, plus lube.

Consent! what century do you live in ..

Just cos you have a night out with the girls doesnt mean you are going to mess around.."

How bloody dare you, Now get back to doing the cleaning up or what ever you Women do before taking care of your Man

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"You've got a single woman's profile so it seems you already have a life away from him?

This is why i split with my kids dad. Sick of doing everything while he sat on his arse. He's probably tired coz he doesn't do anything, no stamina etc."

That snds more like it. He's does feck all. There's lots that needs done about the house but of course too tired. Brother offered to help but he was told politely where to go. Hubby wld rather sleep. I went to wrk other night. Kids said daddy slept for an hr when he arrived home.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Get dressed up and go out with a GF ..have some fun

bugger the ole man!

Get his consent first, plus lube.

Consent! what century do you live in ..

Just cos you have a night out with the girls doesnt mean you are going to mess around.."

You surprise me, advocating buggering a man without his consent. Assault at least.

Whether you've had a good night out with the girls or not.

ps wasn't it in the sometime in the last century when women no longer needed consent or even approval to go out on their own?

jeez, they even gave you seperate taxation c1991

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By *ecretlyASoftieWoman
over a year ago

Hull but travel regularly

He's so old fashioned he'd freak if he knew I had a profile. Suggesting one together would cause more shit."

Tonight's homework aka your excitement for the evening...

Would being upset that his wife has a single profile on a swinging site really be because he's 'old fashioned'?

Do you think setting up your profile is making things better for your marriage in the long term or just yourself short term?

Are you happy to play out the consequences of what you're doing for a quick fumble of excitement?

What's a better way to get excitement that's in the best interest of you, your husband, your marriage, your family?

I don't need to know the answers but I think you do. Good luck

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You've got a single woman's profile so it seems you already have a life away from him?

This is why i split with my kids dad. Sick of doing everything while he sat on his arse. He's probably tired coz he doesn't do anything, no stamina etc.

ahem, what sort of help did the brother offer you?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Get dressed up and go out with a GF ..have some fun

bugger the ole man!

Get his consent first, plus lube.

Consent! what century do you live in ..

Just cos you have a night out with the girls doesnt mean you are going to mess around..

How bloody dare you, Now get back to doing the cleaning up or what ever you Women do before taking care of your Man

Lol xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You've got a single woman's profile so it seems you already have a life away from him?

This is why i split with my kids dad. Sick of doing everything while he sat on his arse. He's probably tired coz he doesn't do anything, no stamina etc.

I'd get someone round helping you anyway, tell him first and just say you're not doing everything yourself and had enough. Tbh i'd be making deals with him now that if he doesn't come to some compromise with you then you will end it, or at least be having a break until he understands that relationships are give and take.

It's awful when you have to do everything, i remember just how demeaning it is as well as tiring and boring.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"You've got a single woman's profile so it seems you already have a life away from him?

This is why i split with my kids dad. Sick of doing everything while he sat on his arse. He's probably tired coz he doesn't do anything, no stamina etc.

ahem, what sort of help did the brother offer you?

DIY around the house, fixing a cracked ceiling he nearly went through two yrs ago which will come dwn on us.

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By *innamon!Woman
over a year ago

no matter

"Get dressed up and go out with a GF ..have some fun

bugger the ole man!

Get his consent first, plus lube.

Consent! what century do you live in ..

Just cos you have a night out with the girls doesnt mean you are going to mess around..

You surprise me, advocating buggering a man without his consent. Assault at least.

Whether you've had a good night out with the girls or not.

ps wasn't it in the sometime in the last century when women no longer needed consent or even approval to go out on their own?

jeez, they even gave you seperate taxation c1991"

ahh Canis I get you now.. blow the lube just do it That will wake him up..Having hopping around in no time

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Get dressed up and go out with a GF ..have some fun

bugger the ole man!

Get his consent first, plus lube.

Consent! what century do you live in ..

Just cos you have a night out with the girls doesnt mean you are going to mess around..

You surprise me, advocating buggering a man without his consent. Assault at least.

Whether you've had a good night out with the girls or not.

ps wasn't it in the sometime in the last century when women no longer needed consent or even approval to go out on their own?

jeez, they even gave you seperate taxation c1991

ahh Canis I get you now.. blow the lube just do it That will wake him up..Having hopping around in no time

He'll be so rampant too, next's weeks post will be how to calm him down.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

OP, have you considered writing a novel? That could be exciting. Surely you can draw inspiration from here for your characters?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Tell him you're unhappy then! Sort it out! Stop using your 'rubbish' relationship as an excuse to cheat. there may be an underlying problem - he could be tired from lack of vitamins, or a thyroid problem. You won't be happy staying with him unless you sort it!

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

I'm feeling quite sorry for the Ops hubs. I wonder what he would say about the relationship, given the chance.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"a excuse to cheat"

Its not always the cheating that bothers me, People will always have their reasons for why they do it, Its people talking about their partners on a forum etc without them having a chance to defend themselves

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm feeling quite sorry for the Ops hubs. I wonder what he would say about the relationship, given the chance."

Beat me to it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Perhaps he finds you boring to, or maybe he has found out your a cheat who joins a swinging site as a single female.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've been there and done that and I used 'him not doing enough/me being unhappy' as an excuse. When he found out we spoke it out and we sorted it all out. He knows my needs and is "changing" for our family almost destroyed us - now I couldn't be happier. annoys me that she's moaned on here about him and not gone to him and told him to his face. Seriously unless she says something nothing will change In her home life.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I'm feeling quite sorry for the Ops hubs. I wonder what he would say about the relationship, given the chance."

He's the one putting no effort into the marriage or very little into his kids wellbeing. I need fun too.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ignore the personal comments that you didn't ask for.

At least you vented on here and wanted advice and didn't start a full blown argument with him and make everything worse.

I don't really have any more advice, like i said i left my ex. Hope you get what you want and sorted.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I must have the most boring man in the world.

I suggest getting a babysitter and going for a drink yet all I hear is 'I'm too tired'.

I work long hours also yet I don't have time to snooze cuz of the kids needing minded/home works done etc.

Is anyone else in the same predicament as me? Any suggestions on how to turn things around? I'm so pissed off I need a life away from him.

Mine was like this. Got rid five and half years ago. Not saying you should get rid but I share your pain. Xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You've got a single woman's profile so it seems you already have a life away from him?

Gosh you poor thing! No time to cheat on your husband? You have been dealt a crappy hand!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You've got a single woman's profile so it seems you already have a life away from him?

Gosh you poor thing! No time to cheat on your husband? You have been dealt a crappy hand!! "

lol anal sex is not all it's cracked up to be.

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By *innamon!Woman
over a year ago

no matter

I cant see anywhere where she said she wants to cheat.

As I said previously he sounds depressed lots of things get people down just pressure kids paying the bills etc. Maybe both of you need a doctor visit to sort things out get medication etc,

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This is far more entertaining than saturday night tv

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I cant see anywhere where she said she wants to cheat.

As I said previously he sounds depressed lots of things get people down just pressure kids paying the bills etc. Maybe both of you need a doctor visit to sort things out get medication etc,

The part where she says she rarely gets away to meet....

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By *innamon!Woman
over a year ago

no matter

OK found it now

I dont advocate fooling around in a marriage. Just thought a night out with a Gf would be fun.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"This is far more entertaining than saturday night tv

This thread is more active than the OPs husband!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

He might be knackered from fucking he's bit on the side

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By *riskygazMan
over a year ago

birmingham

Well you have made a start to having a bit of fun and excitement by joining this site, if he cant find the energy to have fun with you, then you will just have to do it without him, maybe a few girls night out for a laugh and some sex with the help of this site

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"OK found it now

I dont advocate fooling around in a marriage. Just thought a night out with a Gf would be fun."

I knew what you meant

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By *uessWhosBackAgainMan
over a year ago

London

Oh this thread would have gone so differently if the roles were reversed

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Oh this thread would have gone so differently if the roles were reversed

But I think I would of said pretty much the same

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Oh this thread would have gone so differently if the roles were reversed

I wouldn't post any differently but maybe others would....

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

a world class voicing of self pity

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm feeling quite sorry for the Ops hubs. I wonder what he would say about the relationship, given the chance.

He's the one putting no effort into the marriage or very little into his kids wellbeing. I need fun too."

You look like you're putting effort into your marriage, being on a swingers site by yourself and all

if you were that unhappy, you'd leave no matter what your financial situation was. Face the fact that he isn't the only one in your marriage and that you're to blame too

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You've got a single woman's profile so it seems you already have a life away from him? "

We second that!!

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By *uessWhosBackAgainMan
over a year ago

London

"Oh this thread would have gone so differently if the roles were reversed

I wouldn't post any differently but maybe others would...."

i believe that others definitely would have somehow if it was a guy i can't see him being told to just have a night out down the pub with his mates just my opinion tho

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Oh this thread would have gone so differently if the roles were reversed

I wouldn't post any differently but maybe others would....

i believe that others definitely would have somehow if it was a guy i can't see him being told to just have a night out down the pub with his mates just my opinion tho

Oh my....If this were a guy he would have been ripped to shreds and spat back out again!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Oh this thread would have gone so differently if the roles were reversed

I wouldn't post any differently but maybe others would....

i believe that others definitely would have somehow if it was a guy i can't see him being told to just have a night out down the pub with his mates just my opinion tho

I have empathy for her.

Been in her position and hated it. You want out of the relationship but at the same time you want to repair it and be happy again.

You have all sorts of emotions going on and if anyone had had a go at me at the time i wouldv've head butted them, had enough on my plate as it is.

She actually asked for advice on how to fix things between them as well. And mentioned she needed a life away from him, which is probably where the night out thing came from.

Whereas guys come in and start going on about not getting meets and not being able to cheat on theri unknowing partner, there's some difference.

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By *uessWhosBackAgainMan
over a year ago

London

"Oh this thread would have gone so differently if the roles were reversed

I wouldn't post any differently but maybe others would....

i believe that others definitely would have somehow if it was a guy i can't see him being told to just have a night out down the pub with his mates just my opinion tho

Oh my....If this were a guy he would have been ripped to shreds and spat back out again!!"

thank you finally some honesty

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By *uessWhosBackAgainMan
over a year ago

London

"Oh this thread would have gone so differently if the roles were reversed

I wouldn't post any differently but maybe others would....

i believe that others definitely would have somehow if it was a guy i can't see him being told to just have a night out down the pub with his mates just my opinion tho

I have empathy for her.

Been in her position and hated it. You want out of the relationship but at the same time you want to repair it and be happy again.

You have all sorts of emotions going on and if anyone had had a go at me at the time i wouldv've head butted them, had enough on my plate as it is.

She actually asked for advice on how to fix things between them as well. And mentioned she needed a life away from him, which is probably where the night out thing came from.

Whereas guys come in and start going on about not getting meets and not being able to cheat on theri unknowing partner, there's some difference."
read my original post again please

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sounds to me like both of ye are in a rut,your working so hard and coming home and then having to be the Mam.He's probably got it in his head,buried deep down that this isn't what he signed up for.He's possibly not thrilled with his worklife and feeling down and inadequate because you have to work all the hours to provide for the family.You say he is traditional/old fashioned so that's what makes me think that.

A marriage counselor like Relate or Accord might help.In the meantime,what about setting up a night a month to start with where both of ye go out together to somewhere of interest that ye wouldn't normally go.Give him plenty of notice so he can prepare himself both financially and mentally.Do something silly that gives both of ye a laugh.I don't mean like a setup date night,I mean do something daft and fun with no pressure.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Her OP is slagging off her hubby. I have no problem with attached people being on here but I do have a problem with them whining about their partners.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Oh this thread would have gone so differently if the roles were reversed

I wouldn't post any differently but maybe others would....

i believe that others definitely would have somehow if it was a guy i can't see him being told to just have a night out down the pub with his mates just my opinion tho

I have empathy for her.

Been in her position and hated it. You want out of the relationship but at the same time you want to repair it and be happy again.

You have all sorts of emotions going on and if anyone had had a go at me at the time i wouldv've head butted them, had enough on my plate as it is.

She actually asked for advice on how to fix things between them as well. And mentioned she needed a life away from him, which is probably where the night out thing came from.

Whereas guys come in and start going on about not getting meets and not being able to cheat on their unknowing partner, there's some difference.

read my original post again please

Why? Read it, and with your additional info i said why it wasn't.

Plus people have been a cunt to her as well, like they do to guys on here.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Have you fucked with another guy?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Her OP is slagging off her hubby. I have no problem with attached people being on here but I do have a problem with them whining about their partners. "

Fine, there's a fair few nasty replies though that are judging her when she asked for advice. Don't know who sent them as i'm focusing more on what OP says and if i can help her with that.

She might not have anyone else to whinge or vent to, and i'm big believer that talking about your troubles help you to get things into perspective, if given constructive advice or sometimes just empathy.

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

You need to talk and be honest with each other. Forget the improved social life etc for now. Back to basics, with each other.

Open up your life, so you're less dependent - I'm talking socially, not sexually.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Her OP is slagging off her hubby. I have no problem with attached people being on here but I do have a problem with them whining about their partners.

Fine, there's a fair few nasty replies though that are judging her when she asked for advice. Don't know who sent them as i'm focusing more on what OP says and if i can help her with that.

Fine. You can ask for advice without slagging off the other party. That to me, coupled with the fact she is on here means there is little respect and it doesn't seem worth saving. In my opinion.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

sometimes you need to be blunt with someone without actually spelling it all out. i gave her advice, ive been through what she is going through and gave her the cure - if shes not willing to try she be as well break up with him. if this was a guys thread my advice would be exactly the same. Mr has given advice to many a men playing away. its up to them to fix the relationship theyre in.

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By *uessWhosBackAgainMan
over a year ago

London

"Oh this thread would have gone so differently if the roles were reversed

I wouldn't post any differently but maybe others would....

i believe that others definitely would have somehow if it was a guy i can't see him being told to just have a night out down the pub with his mates just my opinion tho

I have empathy for her.

Been in her position and hated it. You want out of the relationship but at the same time you want to repair it and be happy again.

You have all sorts of emotions going on and if anyone had had a go at me at the time i wouldv've head butted them, had enough on my plate as it is.

She actually asked for advice on how to fix things between them as well. And mentioned she needed a life away from him, which is probably where the night out thing came from.

Whereas guys come in and start going on about not getting meets and not being able to cheat on their unknowing partner, there's some difference.

read my original post again please

Why? Read it, and with your additional info i said why it wasn't.

Plus people have been a cunt to her as well, like they do to guys on here."

because i believe you misunderstood my point hence the reason you started going on about guys moaning about not getting meets etc... which has nothing to do with what i was saying if a guy posted the same thing would of been ripped apart as said above

Nobody has been a cunt to her the "advice" she was given was to have a night out with the girls and i firmly believe if the roles were reversed a guy wouldn't have been told to just enjoy a night out with the lads like it or not some threads go differently if they are started by a male or female

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"because i believe you misunderstood my point hence the reason you started going on about guys moaning about not getting meets etc... which has nothing to do with what i was saying if a guy posted the same thing would of been ripped apart as said above

Seen one guy ask for advice this week about his wife. He got some good advice and a nbit of slagging off then left, probably to fix things idk.

Hardly seen any topics where married guys ask for advice on how to fix their marriage though, it's usually they're moaning about not getting meets and that's when they get ripped to shreds for doing it behind their partners back.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 02/05/15 23:04:04]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hello, what time does your hubby start work?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Oh this thread would have gone so differently if the roles were reversed

I wouldn't post any differently but maybe others would....

i believe that others definitely would have somehow if it was a guy i can't see him being told to just have a night out down the pub with his mates just my opinion tho

I have empathy for her.

Been in her position and hated it. You want out of the relationship but at the same time you want to repair it and be happy again.

You have all sorts of emotions going on and if anyone had had a go at me at the time i wouldv've head butted them, had enough on my plate as it is.

She actually asked for advice on how to fix things between them as well. And mentioned she needed a life away from him, which is probably where the night out thing came from.

Whereas guys come in and start going on about not getting meets and not being able to cheat on their unknowing partner, there's some difference.

read my original post again please

Why? Read it, and with your additional info i said why it wasn't.

Plus people have been a cunt to her as well, like they do to guys on here.

Threads do pan out differently but that can be down to who the OP is, how they interacted after posting and if they are male / female.

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By *uessWhosBackAgainMan
over a year ago

London

Seen one guy ask for advice this week about his wife. He got some good advice and a nbit of slagging off then left, probably to fix things idk.

Didn't see that thread so can't comment he could of left to fix things or could of left because he was getting slagged off i have no idea

well i have seen many and everytime the guy gets ripped apart but the same subject by a woman goes down very different i am not talking about meets or moaning about lack of meets you're the only one that brought that up i was strictly talking about this thread and subject and the difference if it was posted by a male or female nothing else

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Seen one guy ask for advice this week about his wife. He got some good advice and a nbit of slagging off then left, probably to fix things idk.

Didn't see that thread so can't comment he could of left to fix things or could of left because he was getting slagged off i have no idea

No problem, i didn't agree with your comment that's all. Although some men do stick up for women in the hope of getting fucked i do know that.

I have no interest in this person at all, just didn't like how the thread has gone, it's horrible that when someone reaches out to others they just get a load of abuse or judged, when they wanted help.

I would stick up for guys/men as well if this happened to them by the way.

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By *uessWhosBackAgainMan
over a year ago

London

Seen one guy ask for advice this week about his wife. He got some good advice and a nbit of slagging off then left, probably to fix things idk.

Didn't see that thread so can't comment he could of left to fix things or could of left because he was getting slagged off i have no idea

No problem, i didn't agree with your comment that's all. Although some men do stick up for women in the hope of getting fucked i do know that.

I would stick up for guys/men as well if this happened to them by the way."

hey no probs you don't have to agree with me that's completely fine

but that's the risk they take when posting a thread in the forums rightly or wrongly you will be judged because you opened yourself up for it surely no one expects all positive replys in a public forum

great but unfortunately not everybody is like you in the forums

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I used to be tired all the time. If i drove for an hour it would wipe me out! I was weak as a kitten during the day. I tried to get fit by cycling and one day it left me completely incapacitated much to my colleagues amusement! Hang overs were hell on earth! Even my mother in law labeled me "pathetic"...turned out i had heart failure! Luckily i was diagnosed before i had a stroke. Say hi to your husband from me and tell him to get checked out at the Dr's. I hope he doesn't cramp your style to much.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"hey no probs you don't have to agree with me that's completely fine

great but unfortunately not everybody is like you in the forums "

thanks.

yeah true they're taking a risk. just i know what it's like when people try and kick you when you're already down, and how hard it can be to reach out to others especially if you get an adverse reaction when you do decide to reach out.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Seen one guy ask for advice this week about his wife. He got some good advice and a nbit of slagging off then left, probably to fix things idk.

Didn't see that thread so can't comment he could of left to fix things or could of left because he was getting slagged off i have no idea

"
I agree, there is a big diference here if a man asks to cheat and fuck than if a woman does it. Its like its more acceptable as there are so few women here I guess lol.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"maybe he's tired all the time cos he's ill??? diabetes perhaps, a visit to the doctor might help"

Yep. He could be ill. Depression, high cholesterol, and a variety of other very unpleasant things can cause constant tiredness.

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By *SweetVioletxWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool

Good lord grow a pair and leave him.

You state you're fed up of doing everything yet won't leave because it doesn't make financial sense.

You're an adult who is responsible for your own life and happiness. No one else is.

Life is tough for everyone - do something about. There are more productive places to complain about your life than on a swingers site.

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

"OP life isn't a bed of roses it doesn't owe you anything. Maybe he is boring but maybe that's because he's not happy either.....

Do what you need to do by all means but try and have some respect for the man by not slagging him off to random strangers.

This!

I can't believe some of the comments supporting this odious woman. If a man had started this thread he'd be ripped a new one for his disrespect towards his spouse, but the op is being encouraged...you know what, I'm not surprised: hypocrites!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Good lord grow a pair and leave him.

You state you're fed up of doing everything yet won't leave because it doesn't make financial sense.

You're an adult who is responsible for your own life and happiness. No one else is.

Life is tough for everyone - do something about. There are more productive places to complain about your life than on a swingers site."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If OPs husband is tired all the time, it does sound like he's in a bad state. Possibly physical illness, but more likely from depression.

It could be that he sees that his wife no longer loves him and is just waiting for the day that it all breaks down. I understand you may be on here because you want satisfaction, but is a quick lay worth destroying your marriage? Chances are he can sense that you are unhappy with him.

Instead of trying to talk to him, how about just listening to him. He won't open up in one night, but when he feels comfortable, he will start to talk. Give him a chance, otherwise if you don't think he's worth it, you may as well just tell him everything now and leave him. I'd like to think that you might want to fight that outcome before it all ends though.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

op.. I dont know how long you have been a member here. But as soon as you joined.. You already have had "excitement".

You need to find your feet, as a person not a wife.

Suggest you socialise with female friends.

And talk to your husband.. Be proactive. Behave like an adult.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I must have the most boring man in the world.

I suggest getting a babysitter and going for a drink yet all I hear is 'I'm too tired'.

I work long hours also yet I don't have time to snooze cuz of the kids needing minded/home works done etc.

Is anyone else in the same

predicament as me? Any suggestions on how to turn things around? I'm so pissed off I need a life away from him.

The reason i am on here. Why sit and do without. Life is to short. Live it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Sounds depressed .. money work pressure and family often men lose interest in everything. The burden and responsibility weighs them down.

"
sounds like that and maybe he should go see GP. It may help in some way.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"OP life isn't a bed of roses it doesn't owe you anything. Maybe he is boring but maybe that's because he's not happy either.....

Do what you need to do by all means but try and have some respect for the man by not slagging him off to random strangers.

"
Well said. I am no longer attractive to my partner who plays around a lot. Cannot afford to kick each other out cos of children, zero sex life, been in the box room 4 years, just trapped. What a shit life.

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By *ancs MinxWoman
over a year ago

Burnley

"Maybe he doesn't want to go for a drink but something he is more interested in might work. Maybe the fact you have a single woman profile on here is helping crush the life out of your marriage?

Hence reason I set up sgl profile. I need excitement not boredom.

Have you discussed having a profile with him? If not then I suggest that you do.

Cheating is not the answer to issues within your marriage. "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Op maybe not having a lot of money he feels it's not worth going out . I am sure that don't help ... Is he looking for work.?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Sounds depressed .. money work pressure and family often men lose interest in everything. The burden and responsibility weighs them down.

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By *eliciousladyWoman
over a year ago

Sometimes U.K

Life is tough for everyone - do something about. There are more productive places to complain about your life than on a swingers site."

Is life tough for everyone though?

Sometimes it helps to share with total strangers your inner feelings and maybe this post has helped.

Shame she's getting so much grief and not much advice..

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By *andS66Couple
over a year ago

Derby

Think the responses would have been a lot worse if it had been a married man posting about his 'boring wife'.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Think the responses would have been a lot worse if it had been a married man posting about his 'boring wife'."

I was thinking the exact same, in fact, the thread would probably have been closed a long while back if a guy had posted about his boring wife!!

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

Relate......

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Jeez either you love him or you don't right??? If he's suffering from depression which is what it sounds like you love him realise something.... You are probably part of the reason why he is depressed!!!

If you truely love him then instead of fucking behind his back and slagging him off to strangers you could try finding out what is wrong and supporting him.

If you don't love him pack your bags and go as there's no point continuing the marriage as will only cause problems for you, him and the children especially if he finds out your cheating on him.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Life is tough for everyone - do something about. There are more productive places to complain about your life than on a swingers site.

Is life tough for everyone though?

Sometimes it helps to share with total strangers your inner feelings and maybe this post has helped.

Shame she's getting so much grief and not much advice..

"
agree and it would be nice if she felt she could ask the "community" for help in the future! Instead of dutifully carryibg on? Shit when your in a bad relationship i suffered 13yrs of abuse and neglect, wish i'd left 10 years before i did . Hope you have a nice day today wife!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

""a excuse to cheat"

I completely agree. Makes me really uncomfortable to see.

However, I'm not going to slag the OP off either. If it's not ok for her to criticise her husband's behaviour (and I don't think it is) then it's not my place to criticise hers either.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I lived with an arseholes for years, he was a bully..I left at 2.00am with nowhere to go in only the clothes I stood up in, and two young teens in tow!

Anything is possible, if your marriage, is so unbearable!

Perhaps he's tired, perhaps he works his arse off to support you and your kids? Perhaps he's lazy who knows..

I work long shifts in a pretty demanding.. Job and I'm constantly tired.. I'm not boring I'm just knackered!!

If you want it to work between the two of you, and think it's salvageable? Talk to him..

Or walk away.. Life is to short to be miserable, believe me I know, there's help out there..

But having a single, profile on here? It's not going to help, the situation.. Concentrate.. On your children. They need you.. Even if your husband doesn't get off here, and sort it out.

Apologies if I offend, but this is something, that was once very close to home. X

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sounds like the dude is clinical depressed and can you blame you?

Long hours, money troubles, young kids, a cheating unsupportive wife .

That's a lot of shit to bear.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Have you asked him what he wants to do?

get hgim to the the doctor could be thyroid problems , i had the same problem till i sorted it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I lived with an arseholes for years, he was a bully..I left at 2.00am with nowhere to go in only the clothes I stood up in, and two young teens in tow!

Anything is possible, if your marriage, is so unbearable!

Perhaps he's tired, perhaps he works his arse off to support you and your kids? Perhaps he's lazy who knows..

I work long shifts in a pretty demanding.. Job and I'm constantly tired.. I'm not boring I'm just knackered!!

If you want it to work between the two of you, and think it's salvageable? Talk to him..

Or walk away.. Life is to short to be miserable, believe me I know, there's help out there..

But having a single, profile on here? It's not going to help, the situation.. Concentrate.. On your children. They need you.. Even if your husband doesn't get off here, and sort it out.

Apologies if I offend, but this is something, that was once very close to home. X"

Know the feeling well. I got out and never looked back. X

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I asked advice on how to turn my marriage around. I've tried with hubby but instead all I've got is critised during most of this thread.

Thank you, those of you who have not critised and taken time to offer advice. Your help has been appreciated and I will try some of your tips. Xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I asked advice on how to turn my marriage around. I've tried with hubby but instead all I've got is critised during most of this thread.

Thank you, those of you who have not critised and taken time to offer advice. Your help has been appreciated and I will try some of your tips. Xx"

Ok first price of advice you need to be honest with him and tell him you've been cheating.

He needs to be able to make an I formed desicion not one based on lies.

But your not going to do that are you?

Because you're not here for advice on how to turn your marriage around your here for a quick fix that doesn't require anything from you that puts everything onto him.

Tell him and let him decide what he wants to do.

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

"I asked advice on how to turn my marriage around. I've tried with hubby but instead all I've got is critised during most of this thread.

Thank you, those of you who have not critised and taken time to offer advice. Your help has been appreciated and I will try some of your tips. Xx"

shag who you like..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you are staying there purely out of convenience and because it's better for you financially, I don't think an extra bit of excitement is going to help.

Also, if there are emotional gaps, whether you plan to or not, anyone you meet, you might end up not able to stop yourself falling for him and ending up in a worse situation

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I asked advice on how to turn my marriage around. I've tried with hubby but instead all I've got is critised during most of this thread.

Thank you, those of you who have not critised and taken time to offer advice. Your help has been appreciated and I will try some of your tips. Xx"

"i think I may have the most boring husband in the world" this comment alone is possibly why the criticism. You sound like you want to change him rather than change your relationship.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I asked advice on how to turn my marriage around. I've tried with hubby but instead all I've got is critised during most of this thread.

Thank you, those of you who have not critised and taken time to offer advice. Your help has been appreciated and I will try some of your tips. Xx"

Judging by this you weren't after advice but people to be nice. If you can't take the heat then perhaps some advice would be not to ask a bunch of strangers who tbh know only your side of the story for advice. The only people who will know if your marriage is worth saving is you, your husband and your kids.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Ok first price of advice you need to be honest with him and tell him you've been cheating".

He needs to be able to make an I formed desicion not one based on lies.

If I was him I wouldn't want to know, As it would play on my mind every time she went out or talked to another Man, If they managed to find that spark again and spend the rest of their lives happy and in love I could live with what you don't know can't hurt you,

But that's just my opinion

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I asked advice on how to turn my marriage around. I've tried with hubby but instead all I've got is critised during most of this thread.

Thank you, those of you who have not critised and taken time to offer advice. Your help has been appreciated and I will try some of your tips. Xx"

I think this has been a very tame thread tbh. Yes there has been criticism but a lot of people (myself included) don't approve of cheating. Beneath the criticism though there has been advice - speak to your husband, find out if there is an underlying problem causing his fatigue, try to get some time together without your children or spend some time with friends having a bit of space and if none of that works then maybe go your separate ways. None of it is easy, but have a bit of respect for him and your marriage...you can't deny that your are cheating on him so you're far from perfect or a complete victim in the situation. Figure out what is actually wrong and either fix it or move on.

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

"I asked advice on how to turn my marriage around. I've tried with hubby but instead all I've got is critised during most of this thread.

Thank you, those of you who have not critised and taken time to offer advice. Your help has been appreciated and I will try some of your tips. Xx"

Even if you did get criticism it was very tame in HOW it was typed in relation to when a single man starts the same sort of thread.

Personally I would never assume what is going on in a relationship to want to give advice about what you should be doing, even the odd snippets you gave didn't tell of what lengths you may have gone to to try and sort things out BUT, your husband sounds like he is stuck in a rut too and maybe needs checking out by the Doc if he is so tired all the time.

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By *andS66Couple
over a year ago

Derby

"I asked advice on how to turn my marriage around. I've tried with hubby but instead all I've got is critised during most of this thread.

Thank you, those of you who have not critised and taken time to offer advice. Your help has been appreciated and I will try some of your tips. Xx

Exactly this...

Not wishing to offend you OP but you asked for advice... you got advice... probably not the advice you want to hear, so you choose to ignore it and instead focus on the criticism of you being on here as a 'single' woman, cheating on your husband.

If you want to see what true criticism of infidelity is, we suggest you search the threads of married men masquerading as singles saying similar things to your original post.

Because you have got off lightly.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I must have the most boring man in the world.

I suggest getting a babysitter and going for a drink yet all I hear is 'I'm too tired'.

I work long hours also yet I don't have time to snooze cuz of the kids needing minded/home works done etc.

Is anyone else in the same predicament as me? Any suggestions on how to turn things around? I'm so pissed off I need a life away from him.

Dose he know your on here

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not read the whole thread I've skim read a few messages but my opinion for what it's worth is.....

Some marriage just aren't ment to be, sometimes people fall out of love and though failed marriages can be fixed it takes two to put all their effort into it, if ones not interested forget it

I spent the last eight years of my marriage living with a guy I ended up despising it started after the birth my youngest child, I gained quite a lot of weight and he just went off me because I was fat, life just went down hill from there, we ended up just being two people who tolerated each other in the same house

A unhappy marriage will not end well and if your husband pays you no attention to the point your looking to play away you may as well pack up now and go because it will happen, unless you both want it to work, one person can not fix a broken marriage and the sad thing is some stay together out of habit and don't even want to put any effort into fixing it

My biggest regret is us not splitting up years before we did, I feel I wasted so many years

But ultimately it's upto you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Life is tough for everyone - do something about. There are more productive places to complain about your life than on a swingers site.

Is life tough for everyone though?

Sometimes it helps to share with total strangers your inner feelings and maybe this post has helped.

Shame she's getting so much grief and not much advice..

This is what happened with me, no the grief but needing help. I had a miscarriage and felt a need for some support and physical comfort, my ex (who i was still with at the time) couldn't offer that to me because he needed support and was used to me being the supportive one. I had no family nearby either, and i did turn to strangers in the hope of getting what i wanted coz i knew i wouldn't get it from anyone i knew. I'm not after sympathy, got over it ages ago and dealt with it, just agreeing and saying life's not that simple.

Things aren't always black and white and people can only cope with so much. People often deal with things by reaching out and if i'd had advice when i needed it all that time ago i might not have even left that relationship and been able to sort it out. I got to the point where OP is now and i just left him, despite wanting everything to be fixed and sorted, just venting mightb have helped me get everything into proportion because now i can see where we went wrong, but at the time i was wrapped up in myself and my needs because of how i felt at the time.

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

this thread would have been so so so different if a man had started it....

they would have been absolutely torched!!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I must have the most boring man in the world.

I suggest getting a babysitter and going for a drink yet all I hear is 'I'm too tired'.

I work long hours also yet I don't have time to snooze cuz of the kids needing minded/home works done etc.

Is anyone else in the same predicament as me? Any suggestions on how to turn things around? I'm so pissed off I need a life away from him.

maybe hes thinking the exact same thing about you. maybe he finds you boring and the best way to deal with his misery is to sleep so he doesn't have to talk/go out/shop/drink/have sex with you. maybe hes only staying because he doesn't want to leave you with financial worries. maybe hes the one who needs excitement. Why don't you ask him right out, then youll have the answer and can decide whether to stay or go. easier all round if you both know you hate being together the marriage is dead you can walk away then and have your fun.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

And, because my needs weren't being fulfilled i didn't give a shit if my exes were too, resentment sets in and that's where the problems started for my relationship. Just like OP has resentment now.

That's why i don't care about the cheating or the slagging him off, know exactly how she feels and how it leaves you feeling. At least she wanted to try and fix things and asked for help with that.

And i wish people would stop saying if a guy had started this topic they would have been ripped to shreds, because as someone who has had this said in their topic about them it actually makes you feel like others are asking people to rip you to shreds.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Seen one guy ask for advice this week about his wife. He got some good advice and a nbit of slagging off then left, probably to fix things idk.

Didn't see that thread so can't comment he could of left to fix things or could of left because he was getting slagged off i have no idea

No problem, i didn't agree with your comment that's all. Although some men do stick up for women in the hope of getting fucked i do know that.

I would stick up for guys/men as well if this happened to them by the way."

The way the thread has gone?? Its all seemed fairly tame and reasonable upto this point...are you just desperately looking for the abuse that isnt there??

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By *uessWhosBackAgainMan
over a year ago

London

"this thread would have been so so so different if a man had started it....

they would have been absolutely torched!!!!

thank you seems i'm not the only one who believes this

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By *uessWhosBackAgainMan
over a year ago

London

"And, because my needs weren't being fulfilled i didn't give a shit if my exes were too, resentment sets in and that's where the problems started for my relationship. Just like OP has resentment now.

That's why i don't care about the cheating or the slagging him off, know exactly how she feels and how it leaves you feeling. At least she wanted to try and fix things and asked for help with that.

i'm sorry but I'm just gonna point out (again) you only have one side of the story and unless you're part of the marriage can't give the sweeping statements like you have like why the OP has resentment or clam to know exactly how she feels when you don't have all the information just what she has chosen to share and the more you go on it seems like talking about you're own personal experience in this matter rather than the OPs just my opinion tho

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Have you asked him what he wants to do?

Maybe you should listen to what he's saying. He works bloody hard, is struggling financially, and is very tired, a lot of the time. Maybe he feels in a rut also ? Life can be mundane and it is very easy to think the grass is greener elsewhere. Good luck.

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