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yet another joke

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

As a family, we're trying to keep up with technology. So, I bought my son an iPod, my daughter an iPhone and myself an iPad. I felt sorry for the wife so I bought her an iRon and that's when it all fuckin kicked off. What an ungrateful bitch.

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By (user no longer on site)
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Hehehehehe

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By *ngieandMrManCouple
over a year ago

hereford

Talking of ungrateful…

I bought my wife a space suit but she wouldn’t go!!!

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By *etillanteWoman
over a year ago

.

A Cleaning lady was applying for a new position. When asked why she had left her previous employment, she replied ‘Well the wages were good but it was the most ridiculous place I have ever worked!’

They played a game they called bridge, and last night a lot of people where there. As I was about to bring in the refreshments, I heard a man say, “Lay down and let’s see what you’ve got”

Another man said, “I’ve got strength but not much length.” Then another man said to a lady “ Take your hand off my trick”.

I pretty near dropped dead just when a Lady answered: “You forced me, you jumped me twice, when you didn’t have the strength for one good raise.”

Another Lady talked about protecting her honour, but two other Ladies said: “Now it’s my turn to play with your husband while you play with mine.”

Well, I got my coat on and, as I was leaving- I hope to die, if I didn’t hear one say: Well, I guess we can go home now. That was our last rubber!”’

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A dwarf pulls in a bar and tells a woman he can give her the ride of her life. Curiously she goes home with him and before she knows it, she is lying on the bed screaming in estasy. She says to the dwarf your amazing. The dwarf says thats fook all love just wait till i get the other leg in.

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By *ngieandMrManCouple
over a year ago

hereford

Two lesbians in a bath…

One says “Where’s the soap?”

And the other one says, “Yes it does, doesn’t it”

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Two lesbians in a bath…

One says “Where’s the soap?”

And the other one says, “Yes it does, doesn’t it”

"

dont get that one

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"X FACTOR FANS !!"

if youre missing gamu

dont worry from next wednesday youll be able to sponsor her for £3 a month!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

HELP does anybody know how to cancel a bid on e-bay,

Ive bid £4 on a mickey mouse outfit and i am three minutes away from owning liverpool f.c.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

lol i like that one!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

roy hodgson has just drove past me about 1000mph! no seat belt on,holding a can of strongbow blowing his horn,

he will do anything for three points.

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By *ngieandMrManCouple
over a year ago

hereford


"Two lesbians in a bath…

One says “Where’s the soap?”

And the other one says, “Yes it does, doesn’t it”

dont get that one "

where's the soap - wears the soap

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

commonwealth officials have issued a statement saying that despite concerns about hygiene,security,the threat of diease,lack of sanitation,poor food,inwardlooking locals who cannot speak properly and the extreme poverty the games in glasgow in 2014 will still go ahead...

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire


"Two lesbians in a bath…

One says “Where’s the soap?”

And the other one says, “Yes it does, doesn’t it”

dont get that one "

Dont worry took me 20 years to get it only we used to say two nuns in a bath

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By *atisfy janeWoman
over a year ago

Torquay

Plans have begun for Margaret thatcher's state funeral.

It'll be the first time ever the 21 gun salute is fired into the coffin.

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By *inklinkMan
over a year ago

Rotherham

2 jahova's witnesses just knocked on my door and asked me if I had any religious views! I told them I could see a church from the attic window?

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By *atisfy janeWoman
over a year ago

Torquay

Thatcher dies and goes to heaven. At the pearly gates St Peter asks for her name.

"Baroness Thatcher" comes the reply.

"Get lost, your not coming in here! You have to go to hell"

Lady Thatcher goes downstairs, and three days later Peter gets an irate phonecall from Lucifer.

"What the hells going on! Did you send her down here?"

"Yes there's no way shes coming into heaven.."

"Well shes been here for three days an has already closed down 4 furnaces..!!"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"HELP does anybody know how to cancel a bid on e-bay,

Ive bid £4 on a mickey mouse outfit and i am three minutes away from owning liverpool f.c. "

Priceless. Loved it!

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By *inklinkMan
over a year ago

Rotherham

A lady walks into her gp's office and asks what she can do about her husbands domestic violence. She says "he comes home every night d*unk and ends up smacking me in the mouth". An then asks, " are there any pills he can take to calm him down?" doctor replies, "I've got a better solution, when he walks in take a swig of some sweet tea and just keep swishing around your mouth none stop till he falls asleap". The woman is puzzled but does as he says. She returns a few days later to thank him and also ask him how it works, as she was sceptical at first. She asks, " is it the sound, does it lull him into a peaceful sleep"? The doctor replies, " no it just keeps your fuckin mouth shut"!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

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By *inklinkMan
over a year ago

Rotherham

I hate how mainstream and famous these miners have become. I liked them more when they were more underground.

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By *atisfy janeWoman
over a year ago

Torquay

Margaret thatcher has been admitted to Hospital.

She is not expected to live,her condition is described as satisfactory

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By *inklinkMan
over a year ago

Rotherham

Schizophrenia- together I can beat it!

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By *atisfy janeWoman
over a year ago

Torquay


"Schizophrenia- together I can beat it!"

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By *inklinkMan
over a year ago

Rotherham

What breaks when you give it to an OAP?....their pelvis.

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By *atisfy janeWoman
over a year ago

Torquay

David cameron wants all English towns and cities to have a triple barrelled name like Kingston-on-Thames or Stoke-on-Trent.

It'll go down really well in Bradford-on-Benefits.

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By *inklinkMan
over a year ago

Rotherham

What's the difference between X factors Gamu Nhengu and a Zimbabwean prostitute.....Oh I'd say about three weeks.

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By *inklinkMan
over a year ago

Rotherham

BBC News: two pedestrians die in collision.

Fuck me!! How fast must they have been walking!

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By *atisfy janeWoman
over a year ago

Torquay

David cameron's other half has just given birth to a baby girl.

I never even knew Nick Clegg was pregnant.

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By *inklinkMan
over a year ago

Rotherham

What's pink and hard??

A pig with a flick knife.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

ive just lost my job as a lifeguard at our local swimming pool,apparently tapping the no bombing sign as a family of muslems walk past is not acceptable?

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By *atisfy janeWoman
over a year ago

Torquay

So David cameron is going to use credit rating firms to root out benefit cheats.

While he is at it, why not get in touch with Ocean finance to consolidate the budget deficit into one managable monthly payment?

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By *atisfy janeWoman
over a year ago

Torquay

House of Commons Expense Form xa13786

Name: William Hague (Con)

One hotel room, two rubber gloves, baby oil, two cucumbers.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

have you ever noticed how its only ever the perfect people that are murdered or killedthese days? he/she was the perfect son/daughter.they were such a perfect couple.the perfect family killed in tragic accident.

does"nt it make you glad youre a cunt?

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By *ngieandMrManCouple
over a year ago

hereford


"have you ever noticed how its only ever the perfect people that are murdered or killedthese days? he/she was the perfect son/daughter.they were such a perfect couple.the perfect family killed in tragic accident.

does"nt it make you glad youre a cunt?"

Fuck me, that made me laugh so much I almost taxed my car!

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By *ngieandMrManCouple
over a year ago

hereford


"Schizophrenia- together I can beat it!"

I used to be Schizophrenic but I'm alright now... and so am I.

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By *aucy3Couple
over a year ago

glasgow


"Thatcher dies and goes to heaven. At the pearly gates St Peter asks for her name.

"Baroness Thatcher" comes the reply.

"Get lost, your not coming in here! You have to go to hell"

Lady Thatcher goes downstairs, and three days later Peter gets an irate phonecall from Lucifer.

"What the hells going on! Did you send her down here?"

"Yes there's no way shes coming into heaven.."

"Well shes been here for three days an has already closed down 4 furnaces..!!" "

lol my god jane thats one of the only times,i really have laughed out loud.

love casper xx

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By *aucy3Couple
over a year ago

glasgow

guy walking down the road.

another guy,throws a bit of cheese at him. he says,thats immature.

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By *irtydanMan
over a year ago

Blackpool


""X FACTOR FANS !!"

if youre missing gamu

dont worry from next wednesday youll be able to sponsor her for £3 a month!!"
lol very funny

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By *inklinkMan
over a year ago

Rotherham

Elizabeth frittzle just tweeted that the Chillean miners are light weights.

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By *layfullsamMan
over a year ago

Solihull

a woman taking golf lessons started her first round and got stung by a bee, She raced back to the clubhouse and her golf pro asked her why she was back so early. She told him she had been stung. "where did it sting you?" he asked. "between the 1st and 2nd hole" she replied."mmmmmmmm" replied the pro "it sounds like your feet are to far apart"

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By *inklinkMan
over a year ago

Rotherham

My uncle is a rubbish ventriloquist. He shoved two fingers up my arse an told me not to say anything!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i braked hard but still hit the car in front of me,a cute blonde got out and shouted "ram me up the arse why dont you?"

this your honour is where the confusion began!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

RENAULT AND FORD have joined forces to create the perfect small car for a woman.mixing the clio and the taurus.they have designed the clitaurus,it comes in pink and the average male car theifwont be able to find it,let aloneturn it on.even ifsomeone tells him where it is andhow to do it.rumour has it that it leaks transmission fluid once a month and can be a real cow to start in the morning!

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By *inklinkMan
over a year ago

Rotherham

The Americans are trying a new tactic to stop al-Qaeda their going to rescue Bin Ladin from his cave

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By *inklinkMan
over a year ago

Rotherham

My granny caught me masturbating the other day! She was so shocked she had a stroke! Can't believe how soft her hands are.

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By *inklinkMan
over a year ago

Rotherham

A man says to his wife, "tell me something that will make me happy and sad at the same time". So she says, "you have a bigger dick than your brother"!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

superman is feeling horny. he is flying about when he looks down and sees wonder woman lying legs splayed so he thinks i could just nip down there and have a go. so he flies down and quick as a flash its over and he flies off.she says what was that " i dont know" says the invisible man but my arse hurts.

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By *etillanteWoman
over a year ago

.

BBC News

Liverpool's new owners have announced they will rename the team to give them a more American feel.

The 'Hubcap Steelers' wil be playing at their newly renamed stadium 'The San Giro'

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A Chillean miner making love to his wifr for the first time since release.

"can we switch the lights off?"

"Of course honey"

"Can I have you from behind?"

"Anything you want my brave boy"

"Ok, can I call you Pedro?......."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I was woken this morning by the noise and smell from downstairs. I ran down and saw my wife face down on the burning cooker. She wasn't breathing and was unresponsive. I panicked as I didn't know what to do. Then I remembered that McDonalds do breakfast until 10:30am.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Schizophrenia- together I can beat it!

I used to be Schizophrenic but I'm alright now... and so am I."

I used to be a Warewolf... But Im alright nowooooooh!

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By *inklinkMan
over a year ago

Rotherham

Kids nowadays know too much. I was at the doctors earlyer and I saw a young girl playing with some barbie and Ken dolls imitating the doggie position. I told her "if you keep doing that you'll end up with dome little dolls!" She "no I won't he's doing her up the arse!"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

pedro rodriguez,one of the chilean miners trapped underground was said to be distraught today,after being told he"d forgotten to clock on at the start of his shift.

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By *arambarMan
over a year ago

swindon

Unicycles.

I can't stand them.

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