FabSwingers.com forum: WHY people so so nasty at times..

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Some people on here i feel need to look at themselfs close see themselfs for who and what thay are . Each one of us here is responsible for our own experiences the thoughts we think the words we speak an wright. Before you wright think about other person its not all about you you and you. I just opened a letter on here from a man who yesterday i felt had gutts to hold his hand up about his life being married ... where there are 100s on here most will hide say very little as no gutts. Here is what he said not all but some. I am sorry i cant cope i am leaving the site. Got out of my depth and made to feel bad up-set by others bullied and mocked by some of them here in the forum. I aaepted there opinions as its a open forum but MY OWN BEEN RIPPED TO SHREDS. And the rest of the letter he some across so low what if he did something silly because of you lot. Its not right a person should be picked on made to feel like this here , You all see it but some of you are like sheep so sceard to say a thing as you could be next person picked on. Bullies there just no place for them ,,, Not even on here. Some lovely people on here and some with some real hang-ups. You can be nasty as you like to me i say things how i see them x jo

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Some people on here i feel need to look at themselfs close see themselfs for who and what thay are . Each one of us here is responsible for our own experiences the thoughts we think the words we speak an wright. Before you wright think about other person its not all about you you and you. I just opened a letter on here from a man who yesterday i felt had gutts to hold his hand up about his life being married ... where there are 100s on here most will hide say very little as no gutts. Here is what he said not all but some. I am sorry i cant cope i am leaving the site. Got out of my depth and made to feel bad up-set by others bullied and mocked by some of them here in the forum. I aaepted there opinions as its a open forum but MY OWN BEEN RIPPED TO SHREDS. And the rest of the letter he some across so low what if he did something silly because of you lot. Its not right a person should be picked on made to feel like this here , You all see it but some of you are like sheep so sceard to say a thing as you could be next person picked on. Bullies there just no place for them ,,, Not even on here. Some lovely people on here and some with some real hang-ups. You can be nasty as you like to me i say things how i see them x jo"

That is sad to hear and I think he was brave to raise his head above the parapet and stand by his honesty

it is a shame some folk feel the need to shoot other people down, brutally in some cases, but that is the nature of public forums and it is easy to sometimes misread the tone of other peoples opinion ... but I did enjoy the debate and his contribution to it ... the forums need challengers or they just become stale and boring to read

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The thread he started was deleted because he became abusive and even implied that we were bad people for not being honest with our children about being swingers. He overstepped the mark when he said that and as far as I'm concerned we're better off without him and his little temper tantrums when he doesn't get the response he wants.

He posted on a subject that many people feel very strongly about - infidelity, and the whole crux of the matter was his hypocrisy about being honest with everyone EXCEPT for the one person who should be able to trust him without question - his wife.

Many other 'marrieds' have handled their situation with a lot more tact and diplomacy than this chap did and are still here.

Sometimes I think there should be a thread that lists all the subjects likely to start a flame war and newcomers advised to read it before posting anywhere else.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

People are always going to have strong opinions on married men or women cheating and to most people on here swinging isnt about helping people cheat on wives,husbands.

Yes he held his own and had his reasons for cheating but does not mean people are going to agree with it,especially as he said he had a child with his wife too.

I dont think he was treated badly,like i said he was trying to justify his cheating and others had opinions about it.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

There are loads and loads here doing this .......... he was brave to say how things was for him ,,, as people say its open forum you say things how you feel well he had a right too .... Some here just think everything thay say is gods law well lifes not black and white for alot of people. Bullies are bullies in my eyes.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

On an open forum people will agree AND disagree with you. If you're such a sensitive soul perhaps it's wise to give these forums a wide berth or only post on the "shag, marry, avoid" type threads.

There are some subjects that are emotive. Personally, it's none of my business whether someone is married or not - what they do is down to them. I however, do not wish to play with married men and say so on my profile.

It would NEVER cross my mind to write to a married man and say "you are scum you shouldn't be here", no way, but woe betide the married man that writes to me, especially if he starts "I know you don't meet married men...but" - he will be torn a new one!!

The Mods are VERY quick to reprimand any one stepping over the line: the thread in question was closed because it was going around and around in circles not because of bullying.

If members expressing their opinions caused him distress then sorry, that really does come under the heading of "too bad". What he choses to do is HIS business, how others react to it is THEIRS!!

Perhaps reading others views made him question his own conscience - I don't know, but I don't think placing the blame for his departure on other members is fair!

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By *etillanteWoman
over a year ago

He is a genuinly funny guy and unfortunately tried to put his point of view across on a very emotive subject.

Due to his health probs he could not cope with the can of worms he opened.

I do not want to get into the wrongs and rights of what he said.

But if anyone is interested I am in contact with him and he bearing up well.

I for one will miss his humour in the forums

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"There are loads and loads here doing this .......... he was brave to say how things was for him ,"

Possibly very correct,

BUT

If you are not prepared to accept others differing views, don't ask the questions or mention emotive subjects where you know there will maybe responses you don't like or don't want to hear.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

IF this get taken of becaouse some get nasty i said my peace ....... and yes i care about people and yes i have a right to do so , I belive you get back what you give out in life . I would never right here and be nasty to no one never.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

some do take it to far and ive seen loads over the years of it getting real indepth but you really do need to be thick skinned ,makes you wonder if behind the screen some just act out what they cant do nor say in person the word wimp springs to mind with a few posters

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"There are loads and loads here doing this .......... he was brave to say how things was for him ,,, as people say its open forum you say things how you feel well he had a right too .... Some here just think everything thay say is gods law well lifes not black and white for alot of people. Bullies are bullies in my eyes."

Personally if someone is on here cheating then that is their business but i will never help a married man cheat on his wife and kids if he contacted us on here,we had an email yesterday saying yes im married by telling you means im being honest,sorry its not being honest when there is a wife and kids at home wondering where their dad has got to.

As for calling people bullys,i have just read the thread again and there was no bullying from anyone on here,all i could see was him getting abusive in his last post.

Like wishy pointed out i have seen other threads where a married guy has tried to justify cheating and has took what people have said on the chin,and personally i dont think a swing site was for him if he was after chatting to people why didnt he join facebook or some other social networking site?

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By *atisfy janeWoman
over a year ago

Torquay

I think he stood his corner really well during the thread, the discussion remained sensible on both sides with only a couple of instances of people going over the top.

There will be people on here who feel stronger about it because they have been on the wrong end of a 'cheating partner' situation in their own lives, so their own hurt will sometimes show in their posts.

I am surprised that after standing his ground he then chose to capitulate and leave the site, he will be back with another id sometime in the future I am sure, but he would be silly to attempt to justify the way he leads his life.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"On an open forum people will agree AND disagree with you. If you're such a sensitive soul perhaps it's wise to give these forums a wide berth or only post on the "shag, marry, avoid" type threads.

The Mods are VERY quick to reprimand any one stepping over the line: the thread in question was closed because it was going around and around in circles not because of bullying.

If members expressing their opinions caused him distress then sorry, that really does come under the heading of "too bad". What he choses to do is HIS business, how others react to it is THEIRS!!

Perhaps reading others views made him question his own conscience - I don't know, but I don't think placing the blame for his departure on other members is fair!

I agree with you totally on that sassy no one is forced onto the forums. And no one is forced to put their life story up on here. You can't blame anyone else but your self if you type things and people react negatively to them.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

what if next week you here he hang himself ., or do something silly would you think like that still?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

im sorry but the old saying "if you cant take the heat stay out of the kitchen" springs to mind, he posted about what to some is a very emotive subject, so some bad response was very likely, sorry but thats the way life works and neive to think otherwise

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By *atisfy janeWoman
over a year ago

Torquay

I think that by implying he is possibly suicidal (do you really know him well enough to say that?) you are way way out of order.....

Is this an attempt to make those who challenged him feel guilty?

So wrong in many ways

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"what if next week you here he hang himself ., or do something silly would you think like that still?"

Obviously you didn't see the thread he put up last night ranting and lashing out as its been removed.

If someone does something silly we are hardly to blame. Why do you worry about the say a guy last week you rejected taking his own life.

Let's not get melodramatic here its a forum and we should remember that.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

He had mental health peovlems before he joined the site.Just because people had opinions about him cheating people would be to blame on here?

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By (user no longer on site)
Forum Mod
over a year ago

"what if next week you here he hang himself ., or do something silly would you think like that still?"

Now this is just becoming outrageous with comments like that

I wish the user well and liked his comments and sense of humour but never try to suggest that any of us on a public forum are responsible for an individuals decisions due to his own personal issues is ridiculous

thread closed now

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