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Ashamed to admit you like someone?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I tend to be a fairly direct person myself, and make it clear who I do and don't like, especially on here, but how open do others consider themselves to be?

I was inspired to ask as lately, I seem to be getting rather a lot of people inboxing me directly regarding a number of my forum contributions, I don't have an issue with this as they've all been very friendly and polite, but it does ultimately make me wonder why some don't wish to interact openly?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Maybe using it as a excuse to get into your inbox and speak privately

Take it as a compliment

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Maybe because some don't like to share their business with the forum world?

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

I do find some of the public declarations stomach churning, but then I ignore the threads.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm fairly open but not "cringe worthy" open

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd rather chat to someone privately rather than through the forums. I don't want everyone knowing who I'm chatting to.

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By *issmorganWoman
over a year ago

Calderdale innit

Agree,not everyone wants the whole forums to see their interactions with someone.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I like a flirt on the forums but prefer to have private more personal chats....and I don't mean about sex

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Maybe because some don't like to share their business with the forum world? "

Perhaps not, but as a single male it does get frustrating, wondering how many potential partners you've missed out on, simply because they didn't have the confidence to say hello

(by the way that's not a green light for people to starting hammering my inbox, just try and be more open in the forums is all I'm asking)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Maybe because some don't like to share their business with the forum world?

Perhaps not, but as a single male it does get frustrating, wondering how many potential partners you've missed out on, simply because they didn't have the confidence to say hello

(by the way that's not a green light for people to starting hammering my inbox, just try and be more open in the forums is all I'm asking)"

So you think you are missing out because people don't openly flirt with you on the forum??

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Maybe using it as a excuse to get into your inbox and speak privately

Take it as a compliment "

This

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would never openly flirt with someone on the forums. I may perve, I mean admire their pics but that's purely for research purposes

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By (user no longer on site)
Forum Mod
over a year ago

If I like someone on the forums,I'd get to know them a little more via private message rather than make comments in public

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Maybe using it as a excuse to get into your inbox and speak privately

Take it as a compliment

This"

this!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm open about who I like and I tell them, no point in beating around the bush.

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By *oward1978Man
over a year ago

Rotherham

I like to flirt a little on the forums then I often take it off the forums and have a more private chat.

All the women I like know it. I don't like to hide the fact if I really like them. There are a few I really like

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Maybe because who they like and who they wish to chat to about certain subjects they prefer to be private. I have enjoyed flirting on here in the past but any real interest in someone else, I learned, is best reserved for private messages.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Maybe because some don't like to share their business with the forum world?

Perhaps not, but as a single male it does get frustrating, wondering how many potential partners you've missed out on, simply because they didn't have the confidence to say hello

(by the way that's not a green light for people to starting hammering my inbox, just try and be more open in the forums is all I'm asking)

So you think you are missing out because people don't openly flirt with you on the forum??"

Lets leave the silly challenges out shall we?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I like a flirt on the forums but prefer to have private more personal chats....and I don't mean about sex "

Its a lot easier to get to know someone and find out if you would get on at a social/meet by private messages then just by commenting on their posts all the time

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"I tend to be a fairly direct person myself, and make it clear who I do and don't like, especially on here, but how open do others consider themselves to be?

I was inspired to ask as lately, I seem to be getting rather a lot of people inboxing me directly regarding a number of my forum contributions, I don't have an issue with this as they've all been very friendly and polite, but it does ultimately make me wonder why some don't wish to interact openly?"

We get people in boxing about my forum posts, we like it and enjoy the contact. If I was having a discussion in a group I'd have no problem discussing the same thing with just one member of that group

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I sometimes prefer to respond to something by PM rather than making an entire thread about me. I'm not ashamed, just not a dick.

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By *L RogueMan
over a year ago

London


"I tend to be a fairly direct person myself, and make it clear who I do and don't like, especially on here, but how open do others consider themselves to be?

I was inspired to ask as lately, I seem to be getting rather a lot of people inboxing me directly regarding a number of my forum contributions, I don't have an issue with this as they've all been very friendly and polite, but it does ultimately make me wonder why some don't wish to interact openly?"

They want to talk to you, not us!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Maybe because some don't like to share their business with the forum world?

Perhaps not, but as a single male it does get frustrating, wondering how many potential partners you've missed out on, simply because they didn't have the confidence to say hello

(by the way that's not a green light for people to starting hammering my inbox, just try and be more open in the forums is all I'm asking)

So you think you are missing out because people don't openly flirt with you on the forum??

Lets leave the silly challenges out shall we?"

What are you talking about. I'm trying to understand what the issue is? Open on the forum or pm if people are still contacting you what exactly is the issue. No silly challenge at all

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I like a flirt on the forums but prefer to have private more personal chats....and I don't mean about sex

Its a lot easier to get to know someone and find out if you would get on at a social/meet by private messages then just by commenting on their posts all the time"
thank you you worded it better than I did

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By *anky_PankyWoman
over a year ago

Filthy Fuckeryville

I created a post last week which got bugger all by way of public feedback but had my inbox overflowing. Could hardly keep up!

So it's not just you, although i did wonder the same

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By *igeiaWoman
over a year ago

Bristol


"I like a flirt on the forums but prefer to have private more personal chats....and I don't mean about sex "

This totally.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If I like someone on the forums,I'd get to know them a little more via private message rather than make comments in public "

this is a good tip

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Maybe because some don't like to share their business with the forum world?

Perhaps not, but as a single male it does get frustrating, wondering how many potential partners you've missed out on, simply because they didn't have the confidence to say hello

(by the way that's not a green light for people to starting hammering my inbox, just try and be more open in the forums is all I'm asking)

So you think you are missing out because people don't openly flirt with you on the forum??

Lets leave the silly challenges out shall we?

What are you talking about. I'm trying to understand what the issue is? Open on the forum or pm if people are still contacting you what exactly is the issue. No silly challenge at all "

Sorry, but I just get tired of starting a discussion, and people immediately going 'oh no, someones trying to promote themselves, I MUST attack them!'. Plenty of others posting on the thread seem to have taken the discussion as it was intended, so why can't you?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I like a flirt on the forums but prefer to have private more personal chats....and I don't mean about sex

This totally."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Maybe because some don't like to share their business with the forum world?

Perhaps not, but as a single male it does get frustrating, wondering how many potential partners you've missed out on, simply because they didn't have the confidence to say hello

(by the way that's not a green light for people to starting hammering my inbox, just try and be more open in the forums is all I'm asking)

So you think you are missing out because people don't openly flirt with you on the forum??

Lets leave the silly challenges out shall we?

What are you talking about. I'm trying to understand what the issue is? Open on the forum or pm if people are still contacting you what exactly is the issue. No silly challenge at all

Sorry, but I just get tired of starting a discussion, and people immediately going 'oh no, someones trying to promote themselves, I MUST attack them!'. Plenty of others posting on the thread seem to have taken the discussion as it was intended, so why can't you?"

Er. ..I merely asked a question and you leapt on me. Play the victim if you will.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When you pm someone off the forums do you find the people seem different to the persona you imagined them being?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I get a fair few messages about some of my posts on here usually when it's a bit controversial and they say they agree etc.

Or if I've argued with certain I tend to get a few warning messages regarding the way they've acted in the past an how it might be better to avoid the issue.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"When you pm someone off the forums do you find the people seem different to the persona you imagined them being? "

Not really, though sadly I have met a couple of people (years ago, gladly) who were absolutely nothing like in person how they attempted to portray themselves online.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Maybe because some don't like to share their business with the forum world?

Perhaps not, but as a single male it does get frustrating, wondering how many potential partners you've missed out on, simply because they didn't have the confidence to say hello

(by the way that's not a green light for people to starting hammering my inbox, just try and be more open in the forums is all I'm asking)

So you think you are missing out because people don't openly flirt with you on the forum??

Lets leave the silly challenges out shall we?"

Not sure why your jumping down her throat there she asked a reasonable question as people are contacting you privately the only thing you could be missing out on is a bit of public flirtation.

If that's what you're after there's the chat rooms.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Maybe because some don't like to share their business with the forum world? "

This for me.

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By *osieWoman
over a year ago

Wembley


"I tend to be a fairly direct person myself, and make it clear who I do and don't like, especially on here, but how open do others consider themselves to be?

I was inspired to ask as lately, I seem to be getting rather a lot of people inboxing me directly regarding a number of my forum contributions, I don't have an issue with this as they've all been very friendly and polite, but it does ultimately make me wonder why some don't wish to interact openly?"

They are using it as an excuse to get into your panties/boxer shorts*

* Delete, as appropriate

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"When you pm someone off the forums do you find the people seem different to the persona you imagined them being? "

Well I have been told to move on or fuck off

Usually about threads regarding sending pictures or status shuffle, But I don't think they read the subject text,

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"When you pm someone off the forums do you find the people seem different to the persona you imagined them being? "

People I have mailed and/ or met in person have all been exactly as I expected.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I get pm's from my forum posts if I ask for it. As to telling someone you like them, it's usually a epic fail for me as most people think it's a bit full on

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So really what you're saying is you'd rather have a forum post dedicated to you rather than an inbox message?...

You do realise, that forum posts have hidden agenda's right..especially lamppost marking.

I'd find an inbox message a lot more genuine by a factor of about 100 personally.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i openly flirt with ladies here - queen of tease knows we will meet up eventually and hopefully have some fun - femme on the other hand just isnt bendable - damn - but we chat lots still a girl can dream

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I only send "Fancy a fuck?" messages privately, not on the forums

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"So really what you're saying is you'd rather have a forum post dedicated to you rather than an inbox message?...

You do realise, that forum posts have hidden agenda's right..especially lamppost marking.

I'd find an inbox message a lot more genuine by a factor of about 100 personally."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"So really what you're saying is you'd rather have a forum post dedicated to you rather than an inbox message?...

You do realise, that forum posts have hidden agenda's right..especially lamppost marking.

I'd find an inbox message a lot more genuine by a factor of about 100 personally."
I've had a birthday thread which was nice not sure I'd want any other sort ....not that anyone would do one for me anyway

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I only send "Fancy a fuck?" messages privately, not on the forums "
i know can you stop please i've said no so many times your heading for a block!

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By *ivemeyoursoulWoman
over a year ago

Easter just around the corner!


"Maybe because some don't like to share their business with the forum world?

Perhaps not, but as a single male it does get frustrating, wondering how many potential partners you've missed out on, simply because they didn't have the confidence to say hello

(by the way that's not a green light for people to starting hammering my inbox, just try and be more open in the forums is all I'm asking)

So you think you are missing out because people don't openly flirt with you on the forum??

Lets leave the silly challenges out shall we?

What are you talking about. I'm trying to understand what the issue is? Open on the forum or pm if people are still contacting you what exactly is the issue. No silly challenge at all "

I'm with you on this,I'm trying to understand what the issue is!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I tend to be a fairly direct person myself, and make it clear who I do and don't like, especially on here, but how open do others consider themselves to be?

I was inspired to ask as lately, I seem to be getting rather a lot of people inboxing me directly regarding a number of my forum contributions, I don't have an issue with this as they've all been very friendly and polite, but it does ultimately make me wonder why some don't wish to interact openly?"

Is this why people have loud phone conversations on packed trains, just so everyone can see how popular they are?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"So really what you're saying is you'd rather have a forum post dedicated to you rather than an inbox message?...

You do realise, that forum posts have hidden agenda's right..especially lamppost marking.

I'd find an inbox message a lot more genuine by a factor of about 100 personally."

That's a rather sweeping and inaccurate statement.

I know there's a few people who mark what they consider to be their territory but it's very rare. As for hidden agendas....really?!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I tend to be a fairly direct person myself, and make it clear who I do and don't like, especially on here, but how open do others consider themselves to be?

I was inspired to ask as lately, I seem to be getting rather a lot of people inboxing me directly regarding a number of my forum contributions, I don't have an issue with this as they've all been very friendly and polite, but it does ultimately make me wonder why some don't wish to interact openly?

Is this why people have loud phone conversations on packed trains, just so everyone can see how popular they are? "

I was once sat behind a rather old and large oriental woman on the train who was having a very loud and very sexual conversation with her husband on the phone.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I tend to be a fairly direct person myself, and make it clear who I do and don't like, especially on here, but how open do others consider themselves to be?

I was inspired to ask as lately, I seem to be getting rather a lot of people inboxing me directly regarding a number of my forum contributions, I don't have an issue with this as they've all been very friendly and polite, but it does ultimately make me wonder why some don't wish to interact openly?

Is this why people have loud phone conversations on packed trains, just so everyone can see how popular they are?

I was once sat behind a rather old and large oriental woman on the train who was having a very loud and very sexual conversation with her husband on the phone.

"

Pearl!

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By *osieWoman
over a year ago

Wembley


".....

You do realise, that forum posts have hidden agenda's right..especially lamppost marking.

.....

"

In that case, you are running out of lampposts

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


".....

You do realise, that forum posts have hidden agenda's right..especially lamppost marking.

.....

In that case, you are running out of lampposts "

huh?...

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By *ezebelWoman
over a year ago

North of The Wall - youll need your vest


"

I was once sat behind a rather old and large oriental woman on the train who was having a very loud and very sexual conversation with her husband on the phone.

Pearl! "

Ah bless her, but I dont think she'd appreciate the 'old'...

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By (user no longer on site)
Forum Mod
over a year ago


"I tend to be a fairly direct person myself, and make it clear who I do and don't like, especially on here, but how open do others consider themselves to be?

I was inspired to ask as lately, I seem to be getting rather a lot of people inboxing me directly regarding a number of my forum contributions, I don't have an issue with this as they've all been very friendly and polite, but it does ultimately make me wonder why some don't wish to interact openly?

Is this why people have loud phone conversations on packed trains, just so everyone can see how popular they are?

I was once sat behind a rather old and large oriental woman on the train who was having a very loud and very sexual conversation with her husband on the phone.

Pearl! "

I hope the lovely Pearl is doing ok

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Maybe because some don't like to share their business with the forum world?

Perhaps not, but as a single male it does get frustrating, wondering how many potential partners you've missed out on, simply because they didn't have the confidence to say hello

(by the way that's not a green light for people to starting hammering my inbox, just try and be more open in the forums is all I'm asking)

So you think you are missing out because people don't openly flirt with you on the forum??

Lets leave the silly challenges out shall we?

What are you talking about. I'm trying to understand what the issue is? Open on the forum or pm if people are still contacting you what exactly is the issue. No silly challenge at all

I'm with you on this,I'm trying to understand what the issue is!"

The issue appears to be overthinking things on an epic scale.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

I was once sat behind a rather old and large oriental woman on the train who was having a very loud and very sexual conversation with her husband on the phone.

Pearl!

Ah bless her, but I dont think she'd appreciate the 'old'... "

I'm worried now lol who's pearl?

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By *ezebelWoman
over a year ago

North of The Wall - youll need your vest


"

I was once sat behind a rather old and large oriental woman on the train who was having a very loud and very sexual conversation with her husband on the phone.

Pearl!

Ah bless her, but I dont think she'd appreciate the 'old'...

I'm worried now lol who's pearl?"

She used to be a very regular forum poster - it was probably a bit before your time

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By *ivemeyoursoulWoman
over a year ago

Easter just around the corner!


"Maybe because some don't like to share their business with the forum world?

Perhaps not, but as a single male it does get frustrating, wondering how many potential partners you've missed out on, simply because they didn't have the confidence to say hello

(by the way that's not a green light for people to starting hammering my inbox, just try and be more open in the forums is all I'm asking)

So you think you are missing out because people don't openly flirt with you on the forum??

Lets leave the silly challenges out shall we?

What are you talking about. I'm trying to understand what the issue is? Open on the forum or pm if people are still contacting you what exactly is the issue. No silly challenge at all

I'm with you on this,I'm trying to understand what the issue is!

The issue appears to be overthinking things on an epic scale. "

It appears so. Or maybe some people don't like receiving inbox messages,whether to talk about a forum post or to flirt...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 26/04/15 13:24:57]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You can be a silver tongued cavalier but still look like Jabba the Hut. I should know!

I think its a slightly narcissistic / egocentric _iewpoint to think that because people message you privately about a public posting that they therefore must 'like you' - unless its explicitly stated or becomes so through discourse.

People email me about my posts on here; not once have I ever considered it a gateway to anything else other than they like/dislike my post and wish to discuss further away from the discourse of other posts in-between.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

I was once sat behind a rather old and large oriental woman on the train who was having a very loud and very sexual conversation with her husband on the phone.

Pearl!

Ah bless her, but I dont think she'd appreciate the 'old'... "

It was yonks ago since she left. I'm old so she must be. x

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By *ENDAROOSCouple
over a year ago

South West London / Surrey

If it's a general comment or compliment then I'll reply on the thread.

If it's more personal then I'll reply privately. Not because I'm ashamed or not up front but because it's often no one elses business.

I don't mind others messaging me about forum posts privately.

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By *ENDAROOSCouple
over a year ago

South West London / Surrey


"

People email me about my posts on here; not once have I ever considered it a gateway to anything else other than they like/dislike my post and wish to discuss further away from the discourse of other posts in-between."

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By *innamon!Woman
over a year ago

no matter

I do mis her

*camping with the pets posts.Wonder if she is here incognito.

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Cheeseville, Somerset


"So really what you're saying is you'd rather have a forum post dedicated to you rather than an inbox message?...

You do realise, that forum posts have hidden agenda's right..especially lamppost marking.

I'd find an inbox message a lot more genuine by a factor of about 100 personally.

That's a rather sweeping and inaccurate statement.

I know there's a few people who mark what they consider to be their territory but it's very rare. As for hidden agendas....really?!"

There's plenty of hidden agendas.

Threads to invoke sympathy.

Threads to have a subtle dig.

Threads to illicit certain responses - increased message traffic, the common 'look at me' threads, threads seeking approval/reassurance.

Threads designed to give the impression that the situation is different to what is the reality - the volume/content of message claims, the tales more suited to the fantasy forum, the I'm leaving (sometime this decade!) threads.

All is often not what it seems. A little reading between the lines often starts the spidey senses twitching and sometimes a pattern emerges in people's posts.

And to answer the original question? Whether someone comments in a thread or messages via PM I honestly couldn't be bothered. And I've generally noticed little difference between the two regarding content.

A

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Cheeseville, Somerset


"I do mis her

*camping with the pets posts.Wonder if she is here incognito. "

Probably having a real ale in a pub beer garden somewhere in the country!

A

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I do mis her

*camping with the pets posts.Wonder if she is here incognito. "

Camping in sub zero temperatures. I liked her.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"So really what you're saying is you'd rather have a forum post dedicated to you rather than an inbox message?...

You do realise, that forum posts have hidden agenda's right..especially lamppost marking.

I'd find an inbox message a lot more genuine by a factor of about 100 personally."

I don't even take much notice of post on here, people flirt and joke all the time when its on an open forum I just take it as a bit of fun

Its like the kiss, fuck, avoid type threads I don't think every guy who puts fuck really wants to fuck me

Surely if you were genuinely interested in them you would mail them not just try to make yourself popular buy flirting with everyone on the forums, which I have noticed some do

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By *oobsandballsMan
over a year ago

st andrews

Although I am quite flirty in person, if it was someone that I really liked and had done for a while I'd be too shy to tell them. Usually because I think I stand no chance.

Fab wise, I am quite flirty and confident

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't flirt on the forums. If someone thinks I'm flirting with another poster I've probably spoken to them previously in private and I'm having a little joke. I just say what comes into my head usually,I don't use the forums as a way of attracting people to me. I wouldn't have my profile pic public if I were

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"All is often not what it seems. A little reading between the lines often starts the spidey senses twitching and sometimes a pattern emerges in people's posts."

An over inflated sense of importance certainly being among them...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's good that you admit it. Now let's move on eh?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"It's good that you admit it. Now let's move on eh? "

*slow clap*

'Witty'

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Clap speed will come with practice..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

boys play nice yeah? or would you like to borrow a handbag each??!

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

I like banter in the forums, if it was anything more serious I'd take it to pm.

In fact nothing would put me off more than someone fawning all over me in the forums.

Why do people need someone to public ally display they fancy them unless its for some narcistical reasons.

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By *ittle Pocket PerveWoman
over a year ago

Portsmouth

I'm a natural flirt and I'm not going to apologise for sometimes flirting on the forums...

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I'm a natural flirt and I'm not going to apologise for sometimes flirting on the forums... "

Flirting? On a swinging site?

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs


"I created a post last week which got bugger all by way of public feedback but had my inbox overflowing. Could hardly keep up!

So it's not just you, although i did wonder the same "

Some people may not want to attract flak!!

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

Ashamed? Why would anyone be ashamed of fancying someone else? If people feel shame about what they are attracted to then they need to sort themselves out.

If what the OP means is why do they send PMs instead of posting on the forum the answer is generally one of two things: a) they pressed reply privately in error or b) they didn't want to share it with everyone.

I get b) a lot more than a) but usually when they have something abusive to say in response to a post.

As to agendas, snide digs and lamppost marking just read above.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I like a flirt on the forums but prefer to have private more personal chats....and I don't mean about sex

This totally."

Likewise, although I rarely flirt on the forums other than join in the odd 'fuck, suck, dump' type thread

I welcome any pms and have no filters up, I've had quite a few good convos on pm with men, women, couples, TV/TS (most of which I'm never going to or have no interest in meeting) from a few quick shared comments about a forum thread to longer chats that go off at 90 degrees and morph into something totally different! Good civil chats either on the Forums or via PM are one of the key draws to this site for me

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By *o30Woman
over a year ago

Lincoln


"I like banter in the forums, if it was anything more serious I'd take it to pm.

In fact nothing would put me off more than someone fawning all over me in the forums.

Why do people need someone to public ally display they fancy them unless its for some narcistical reasons.

"
I'd feel uncomfortable & awkward if a guy publicly said he fancies me on forums, in "kiss,fuck, pass" games it's all fun but I'd rather have a private pm

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This thread is getting pulled around all over the place.

OP. Can you clarify what the problem is as you see it? ..

I'm not getting it....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I like banter in the forums, if it was anything more serious I'd take it to pm.

In fact nothing would put me off more than someone fawning all over me in the forums.

Why do people need someone to public ally display they fancy them unless its for some narcistical reasons.

I'd feel uncomfortable & awkward if a guy publicly said he fancies me on forums, in "kiss,fuck, pass" games it's all fun but I'd rather have a private pm "

Pm sent. Ha (*joke)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"This thread is getting pulled around all over the place.

OP. Can you clarify what the problem is as you see it? ..

I'm not getting it...."

Fine.

I don't see why some people feel that when chatting about none personal things, such as forum topics, they need to take it to PM when the information being shared isn't particularly personal or private. If you find a person particularly interesting, and don't want to message them on the forum because it may be an older topic and they probably won't see your reply then it's fine to message them personally, but lately I've been getting a lot of messages from topics currently running, and I could only conclude that it's because for some reason, they felt like they couldn't talk to me publically.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"This thread is getting pulled around all over the place.

OP. Can you clarify what the problem is as you see it? ..

I'm not getting it....

Fine.

I don't see why some people feel that when chatting about none personal things, such as forum topics, they need to take it to PM when the information being shared isn't particularly personal or private. If you find a person particularly interesting, and don't want to message them on the forum because it may be an older topic and they probably won't see your reply then it's fine to message them personally, but lately I've been getting a lot of messages from topics currently running, and I could only conclude that it's because for some reason, they felt like they couldn't talk to me publically."

Out of interest were they supportive or critical or a mix of both?

Quite often I'll get a pm from someone they say they agree with something I've said but doesn't tend to happen if they disagree (in my experience recently anyway).

Maybe they just want to offer support without putting their head above the parapet especially if it's a divisive topic?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

^ Ok well..

Just take it as that person (whoever) wants to talk to you.

That's it. You're over thinking it.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"This thread is getting pulled around all over the place.

OP. Can you clarify what the problem is as you see it? ..

I'm not getting it....

Fine.

I don't see why some people feel that when chatting about none personal things, such as forum topics, they need to take it to PM when the information being shared isn't particularly personal or private. If you find a person particularly interesting, and don't want to message them on the forum because it may be an older topic and they probably won't see your reply then it's fine to message them personally, but lately I've been getting a lot of messages from topics currently running, and I could only conclude that it's because for some reason, they felt like they couldn't talk to me publically.

Out of interest were they supportive or critical or a mix of both?

Quite often I'll get a pm from someone they say they agree with something I've said but doesn't tend to happen if they disagree (in my experience recently anyway).

Maybe they just want to offer support without putting their head above the parapet especially if it's a divisive topic?

"

They were typically supportive, either of something I'd said, or simply that they liked the thread (I got a few for the Chinese Whispers game), I don't think I've ever received any for controversial topics.

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

I think they have just clicked on 'reply privately' in error. As you say, they were positive so hopefully it led onto a good conversation

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"That's it. You're over thinking it. "

Everyone says that lately?

Maybe I do tend to pick things apart and lay them out like a disassembled Lego set, but that leads to interesting conversations. I bet if I started a thread about ice cream it wouldn't do very well.

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By *ENDAROOSCouple
over a year ago

South West London / Surrey


"This thread is getting pulled around all over the place.

OP. Can you clarify what the problem is as you see it? ..

I'm not getting it....

Fine.

I don't see why some people feel that when chatting about none personal things, such as forum topics, they need to take it to PM when the information being shared isn't particularly personal or private. If you find a person particularly interesting, and don't want to message them on the forum because it may be an older topic and they probably won't see your reply then it's fine to message them personally, but lately I've been getting a lot of messages from topics currently running, and I could only conclude that it's because for some reason, they felt like they couldn't talk to me publically."

They are obviously just interested in talking to you. Maybe they don't want to take over a thread.

Take it as a compliment and try and stop over thinking it.

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By *ENDAROOSCouple
over a year ago

South West London / Surrey

Opps I took too long replying..

I like mint chip ice cream

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"This thread is getting pulled around all over the place.

OP. Can you clarify what the problem is as you see it? ..

I'm not getting it...."

I understand it completely now, but I've pm'd the op

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By *o30Woman
over a year ago

Lincoln


"I like banter in the forums, if it was anything more serious I'd take it to pm.

In fact nothing would put me off more than someone fawning all over me in the forums.

Why do people need someone to public ally display they fancy them unless its for some narcistical reasons.

I'd feel uncomfortable & awkward if a guy publicly said he fancies me on forums, in "kiss,fuck, pass" games it's all fun but I'd rather have a private pm

Pm sent. Ha (*joke)"
wouldn't mind a private pm from you

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By *he-Hosiery-GentMan
over a year ago

Older Hot Bearded Guy


"That's it. You're over thinking it.

Everyone says that lately?

Maybe I do tend to pick things apart and lay them out like a disassembled Lego set, but that leads to interesting conversations. I bet if I started a thread about ice cream it wouldn't do very well."

I'd have to agree with the OP. You're over analysing this. People have felt the need to message you in private about a post/thread.

That's it.

It's happened to me in the past, and I'm sure there's plenty more people in the same boat.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sometimes I don't want to clog up a thread with my witterings.

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound


"That's it. You're over thinking it.

Everyone says that lately?

Maybe I do tend to pick things apart and lay them out like a disassembled Lego set, but that leads to interesting conversations. I bet if I started a thread about ice cream it wouldn't do very well."

My experience is ice cream threads do well, especially when it's warm. Cake and biscuit threads do better though.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sometimes people are scared of rejection so they decide not to ask

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

And a personal message is easier to follow than a thread with multiple people commenting. My eyes ache from scrolling sometimes.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

How many men say they never receive any messages? Be happy you're getting more than the average (whatever that is)?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"And a personal message is easier to follow than a thread with multiple people commenting. My eyes ache from scrolling sometimes. "

And having someone's love in in the middle of a thread can be irritating to everyone else who have to chat round it

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

I think the op just likes to see his threads responded to and if people pm him that's one less person posted on his thread

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By *egasus NobMan
over a year ago

Merton

The messages are pouring in.

Jk

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Sometimes I don't want to clog up a thread with my witterings. "

I can think of plenty of posters on here who should try thinking the same way.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Sometimes I don't want to clog up a thread with my witterings.

I can think of plenty of posters on here who should try thinking the same way."

But surely response to your threads was the desired effect.....unless I'm misunderstanding again?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Sometimes I don't want to clog up a thread with my witterings.

I can think of plenty of posters on here who should try thinking the same way.

But surely response to your threads was the desired effect.....unless I'm misunderstanding again?"

Yes, quite.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"And a personal message is easier to follow than a thread with multiple people commenting. My eyes ache from scrolling sometimes.

And having someone's love in in the middle of a thread can be irritating to everyone else who have to chat round it"

Exactly darling

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"And a personal message is easier to follow than a thread with multiple people commenting. My eyes ache from scrolling sometimes.

And having someone's love in in the middle of a thread can be irritating to everyone else who have to chat round it

Exactly darling "

Yes that's extremely annoying and a perfect case of where a discussion should be taken to PM, but I'm referring to thread based exchanges.

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By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

I think anyone reading threads can work out who I like... I tend to pm most of my flirtings rather than display them in public

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The forums can be quite scary places to some so maybe they are scared of the reactions they may get if they post on the threads so choose to message you personally.

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound


"The forums can be quite scary places to some so maybe they are scared of the reactions they may get if they post on the threads so choose to message you personally. "

Some read but are unable to post to a thread so send a PM.

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By *innamon!Woman
over a year ago

no matter


"The forums can be quite scary places to some so maybe they are scared of the reactions they may get if they post on the threads so choose to message you personally.

Some read but are unable to post to a thread so send a PM.

"

That is a very valid point of course .. some people are forum banned

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've had a pm specifically saying they agreed with something I said but didn't want a public kicking. I totally understand that.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If it's a general comment or compliment then I'll reply on the thread.

If it's more personal then I'll reply privately. Not because I'm ashamed or not up front but because it's often no one elses business.

I don't mind others messaging me about forum posts privately.

"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I've had a pm specifically saying they agreed with something I said but didn't want a public kicking. I totally understand that. "

This is valid.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

insecurities or guilty pleasures could be a reason.

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By *Ryan-Man
over a year ago

In Your Bush

Much easier to get the answer by asking the individuals directly. By pm obviously.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I tend to flirt on the forums but don't mean I wanna shag the man but im also very honest if its a man i want to be friends with or want to shag but ill do that in a pm not on here x

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By *afadaoMan
over a year ago

Staines


"I tend to be a fairly direct person myself, and make it clear who I do and don't like, especially on here, but how open do others consider themselves to be?

I was inspired to ask as lately, I seem to be getting rather a lot of people inboxing me directly regarding a number of my forum contributions, I don't have an issue with this as they've all been very friendly and polite, but it does ultimately make me wonder why some don't wish to interact openly?

Is this why people have loud phone conversations on packed trains, just so everyone can see how popular they are?

I was once sat behind a rather old and large oriental woman on the train who was having a very loud and very sexual conversation with her husband on the phone.

Pearl! "

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound


"I tend to be a fairly direct person myself, and make it clear who I do and don't like, especially on here, but how open do others consider themselves to be?

I was inspired to ask as lately, I seem to be getting rather a lot of people inboxing me directly regarding a number of my forum contributions, I don't have an issue with this as they've all been very friendly and polite, but it does ultimately make me wonder why some don't wish to interact openly?

Is this why people have loud phone conversations on packed trains, just so everyone can see how popular they are?

I was once sat behind a rather old and large oriental woman on the train who was having a very loud and very sexual conversation with her husband on the phone.

Pearl!

"

I did that too.

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