FabSwingers.com forum: You know you're getting old when ...

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

.. you have to use hygienic clippers to remove your nose and ear hair!

What other things make you realise the onset of years is catching you up .. ??

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Plucking the odd grey pube

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Plucking the odd grey pube "

Nah, they make it look distinguished!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You get chatted up by men younger than your children

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Grey pubic hairs!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You get chatted up by men younger than your children"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Plucking the odd grey pube "

Character lines x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You sound like your mum

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The barber asks you if you want your eyebrows done!! Cheeky fecker !

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Plucking the odd grey pube

Character lines x

Haha do u wanna see my character lines....great chat up line lol xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When you think long john's are good

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"The barber asks you if you want your eyebrows done!! Cheeky fecker !

ha ha, mine didn't ask me, just did it!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The barber asks you if you want your eyebrows done!! Cheeky fecker !

"
oops

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The barber asks you if you want your eyebrows done!! Cheeky fecker !

oops

Err.. Happened to a friend ! Obviously !

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By *ELLONS AND CREAMWoman
over a year ago

stourbridge area

When u see one of those pull along shopping trolley s and think to yourself .. "thats a good idea "

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By *ittle Pocket PerveWoman
over a year ago

Portsmouth

Your child is now a adult!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The barber asks you if you want your eyebrows done!! Cheeky fecker !

I've had em look at me , like I've offered to remove their left testical lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You pull a muscle in your back whilst playing alone! !

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Your child is now a adult!

"
and going to make you a nan soon .....grr Zimmer frame needed

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You pull a muscle in your back whilst playing alone! !"

Haha!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Plucking the odd grey pube

Character lines x

Haha do u wanna see my character lines....great chat up line lol xx"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

you look forward to a cup of ovaltine instead of a ice cold beer after a hard days graft

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You pull a muscle in your back whilst playing alone! !

Haha! "
.....not once...but twice !! Need to calm down and take up knitting

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By *ickawitchCouple
over a year ago

Away with the fairies (Liverpool to you)

According to my OH a few years ago - you see a load of girls going on a night out wearing next to nothing (belly tops and tiny skirts) and think 'they look cold why aren't they wearing coats'

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When you pick 'comfortable and warm knickers' over 'sexy' ones!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Lollypop ladies look younger than you!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When you buy presents for other people's kids and you no longer understand how the technology works.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It takes forever to scroll down to your year of birth on online forms

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A good Saturday night out takes until Tuesday to recover from

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When you get called an Old Fart and you take it as a compliment

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When you bend down to pick something up - and you produce a sound you've never heard before.

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By *ombshellWoman
over a year ago

islington

when you can't stay on your knees for too long

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You pull a muscle in your back whilst playing alone! !

Haha! .....not once...but twice !! Need to calm down and take up knitting"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Plucking the odd grey pube out of the soup "

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By *ce WingerMan
over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

You actually read a Saga holiday brochure.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You consider getting up after 5am as a lay in.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You consider getting up after 5am as a lay in."

Normal for me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

People are walking behind You , trying to get by

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You make all kinds of weird and wonderful noises just getting up!

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By *allipygousMan
over a year ago

Leicester

When you get offered a seat at a bus stop

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You make all kinds of weird and wonderful noises just getting up!"

... up out of bed that is!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When you complain about modern music being awful!

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By *homasP80Man
over a year ago

Linwood

"According to my OH a few years ago - you see a load of girls going on a night out wearing next to nothing (belly tops and tiny skirts) and think 'they look cold why aren't they wearing coats'

I seen that on a night out late JAN.

Girls wearing next to nothing, and I'm like saying to my self "get some heavy clothes on, it's going to get real cold"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"When you complain about modern music being awful!"

In fairness though, it is bloody awful.

Get off my lawn you damn kids!

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By *homasP80Man
over a year ago

Linwood

[Removed by poster at 22/04/15 09:14:16]

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By *ce WingerMan
over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

When you consider buying a pair of slip on shoes.

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By *homasP80Man
over a year ago

Linwood

"When you complain about modern music being awful!"

Yup, defo, I'm saying (to the likes of younger nieces/nephews in there teens) about bands I consider great, and their like "never heard of them".

And when they tell me about their favourite band/group, I'm like "well I've not heard of them".

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Okay I realise at 19 I'm not old but this made me think maybe my mind is...

When it was sunny last Saturday all I could think about was how good weather was great for hanging my washing on the line instead of sitting outside a pub with friends or something

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Okay I realise at 19 I'm not old but this made me think maybe my mind is...

When it was sunny last Saturday all I could think about was how good weather was great for hanging my washing on the line instead of sitting outside a pub with friends or something

Haha

I think like that, but am twice your age!x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I got M&S vouchers for signing up for Sky broadband lately, the fact that I was excited by that made me feel old enough... but you've never seen anyone so excited about a new oven glove & dish towels

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Okay I realise at 19 I'm not old but this made me think maybe my mind is...

When it was sunny last Saturday all I could think about was how good weather was great for hanging my washing on the line instead of sitting outside a pub with friends or something

Haha

I think like that, but am twice your age!x"

Exactly my point!

Not calling you old or anything

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"When you complain about modern music being awful!"

god I do that!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I also don't run in the snow anymore . I tiptoe!

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By *rishman75Man
over a year ago

Chessington/epsom

When you shop in marks and Spencer

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By *educedWoman
over a year ago

Birmingham

I'm getting to old to 'drop it like its hot' so I just 'squat like it's warm!'

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By *allipygousMan
over a year ago

Leicester

"I'm getting to old to 'drop it like its hot' so I just 'squat like it's warm!'

Lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You wonder how you could be over the hill when you don't even remember being on top of it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"When you complain about modern music being awful!

Yup, defo, I'm saying (to the likes of younger nieces/nephews in there teens) about bands I consider great, and their like "never heard of them".

And when they tell me about their favourite band/group, I'm like "well I've not heard of them".

exactly!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When the anti-wrinkle cream doesn't just cover the odd line, and you use it ALL over your face

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The barber asks you if you want your eyebrows done!! Cheeky fecker !

...but you say yes anyway... lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You actually read a Saga holiday brochure. "

an elderly relative once told me SAGA stands for 'Sex And Games for the Aged'. When I get there, I just hope she was right...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"when you can't stay on your knees for too long

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By *asyplease00Man
over a year ago

darlington

Bingo wings

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Last week I refused a night out to go shopping for new bathroom tiles

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

your mail is full of over 50s life insurance and you have loads of free pens!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"when you can't stay on your knees for too long

Once you're on your knees you have to stay there until someone comes to help

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

getting of a low settee,thinking a crane would be handy......

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By *awtymarkyMan
over a year ago

chester

When you need to pee more than having a hardon

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You use the mother in laws Zimma to get up off you knees

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I could tick quite a few of these

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

when it takes you all night to do what you used to do alll night

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The rules of old age;

Never walk straight past a toilet.

Never waste an erection.

Never trust a fart.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The rules of old age;

Never walk straight past a toilet.

Never waste an erection.

Never trust a fart. "

What's an erection ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When you can sleep with someone half your age and not get arrested for it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Your testicles are longer than you dick and you sit on them

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By *ust_for_laughsCouple
over a year ago

Hinckley

Your grandkids are starting 'big school' while your youngest daughter is still at Uni!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You get chatted up by men younger than your children"
we must being doing something right then!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When yesterday in a Chinese chippy I sat down on the low window sill with a big sigh and when my order was ready the Chinese lady came from behind the counter and gave me my order.She said I looked a bit tired and wanted to save my legs,I didn't know wether to laugh or cry,in the end I just thanked her,

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

".. you have to use hygienic clippers to remove your nose and ear hair!

What other things make you realise the onset of years is catching you up .. ??"

When you go to the barbers and there is more grey than dark and the barber asks "can I trim your eyebrows for you"

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By *ackspopCouple
over a year ago

Wymondham

When you're only as old as the woman you feel... And you're in the queue on pension day. *sigh*

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By *rcticFoxxxWoman
over a year ago

Hereabouts

The only 'moaning' you do is when you try to move

Going 'ooh' from random pains in places that you didn't know you had places

You feel the need to wear slippers and cozy pjs instead of skimpy nighties

You get excited by cushions and candles instead of wine and vodka

Your sofa has a collection of blankets just in case you get cold

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By *erbyDalesCplCouple
over a year ago

Derbyshire

...too many of your posts either start "Pah! Back in my day..." or "Blimey! I remember when..."

Mr ddc

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By *each_PittWoman
over a year ago

Belfast

Someone you work with asks "what's Brookside" or worse ... Eldorado!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You look in a mirror and see your parents staring back at you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You remember when thunderbirds were puppets

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"When you think long john's are good

They are!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The only 'moaning' you do is when you try to move

Going 'ooh' from random pains in places that you didn't know you had places

You feel the need to wear slippers and cozy pjs instead of skimpy nighties

You get excited by cushions and candles instead of wine and vodka

Your sofa has a collection of blankets just in case you get cold

You're 21!

Aren't you?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

".. you have to use hygienic clippers to remove your nose and ear hair!

What other things make you realise the onset of years is catching you up .. ??"

Wrinkles!

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By *homasP80Man
over a year ago

Linwood

When you remember when £10 gave you almost a full tank of fuel.

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By *rcticFoxxxWoman
over a year ago

Hereabouts

"The only 'moaning' you do is when you try to move

Going 'ooh' from random pains in places that you didn't know you had places

You feel the need to wear slippers and cozy pjs instead of skimpy nighties

You get excited by cushions and candles instead of wine and vodka

Your sofa has a collection of blankets just in case you get cold

You're 21!

Aren't you? "

Yeah, and?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Someone you work with asks "what's Brookside" or worse ... Eldorado!"

Try Crossroads.....

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By *bovethekneeCouple
over a year ago

Hampshire / Herefordshire

.. you need to put your glasses on to read this thread.

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By *homasP80Man
over a year ago

Linwood

"Someone you work with asks "what's Brookside" or worse ... Eldorado!

Try Crossroads.....

Goodness, eldorado, that's about 20years ago (or there abouts)

Only ran for about a year. Was panned brutally for bad acting etc.

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By *homasP80Man
over a year ago

Linwood

..when something you thought happened only a few years ago you find out it happened like 10years ago or more.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You sound like your mum

That's no bad thing.

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By *inzi LTV/TS
over a year ago

The Garden of Eden in Beautiful North Wales

You know your old when..... Your having a shave, glance down at your feet and when you look back up in the mirror your face is still looking down! lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

you can remember

- when the hills started appearing

- dan maskell

- shillings

- 78 rpm singles

- b+w tv.

so i read on wiki anyway.

was going to say something else but i can't remember what.

oh yeah, do these beige trousers suit me?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When your kids hear a song and say "they're making a mess of this", but it's the original artist, not the cover version they're used to, and you remember buying it when it originally came out.

Another sign: Recording the top 40 off the radio each week.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You got to parents evening at your sons high school and realise that you are old enough to be the parents of the teachers!! Never mind the kids!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It takes forever to scroll down to your year of birth on online forms"

This!!!! It takes about three thumb flicks to scroll through to your year on your mobile

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By *homasP80Man
over a year ago

Linwood

"When your kids hear a song and say "they're making a mess of this", but it's the original artist, not the cover version they're used to, and you remember buying it when it originally came out.

Another sign: Recording the top 40 off the radio each week."

apart from top 40 off radio.

Either record or watch TOTP.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My ass isnt as firm as it used to be & trying to do squats to firm it up hurts my knees a little

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By *mmabluTV/TS
over a year ago

upton wirral

"when you can't stay on your knees for too long

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When you appreciate the smell of fresh bedding off the washing line......and that's your only reason for an early night!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ur off to bed and ur kids off round town ha! Thankfully I'm no where near that haha

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When you can't remember how old you are...and also when the stench of stale urine is not so bad really.

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By *homasP80Man
over a year ago

Linwood

"When you can't remember how old you are...and also when the stench of stale urine is not so bad really."

My dad thought I will be 35 on my birthday this sep, He's lost count, as I'll be 37. Cheers dad

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The rules of old age;

Never walk straight past a toilet.

Never waste an erection.

Never trust a fart. "
Jack Nicholson, 'The Bucket List'......brilliant!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When it's 7.30 on a Friday night, and your in your immaculate tidy shed starting off your onions.

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By *homasP80Man
over a year ago

Linwood

...when you see re-runs of dr who (Colin baker/McCoy years I grew up with) and see how BAD the "visual effects" were (I probably thought they were good at the time).

You just realise how cheap/tacky the effects were then, not like all the great CGI stuff now.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When you point at young people in the street and openly laugh at what they're wearing?

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

Your kids ask you if you've been to the loo before you head out.

Your Kids check you've fastened your seat belt securely before they drive you.

Your Kids hold YOUR hand before escorting you across the road!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When you start buying body lotions that promise to lift and firm tired skin

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By *homasP80Man
over a year ago

Linwood

"When you point at young people in the street and openly laugh at what they're wearing?"

Yea, especially when you can see the underwear above the trousers (which are like what you think is "half mast").

I mean WTF. you shouldn't see your underwear.

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By *evaquitCouple
over a year ago

Catthorpe

You mention you loved watching bagpuss and your co workers look at you like you're taking the utter piss then someone pretends you're talking about porn and to not look a total outcast you agree.

Him

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By *homasP80Man
over a year ago

Linwood

..you can remember when a TV channel actually "closed", either the test card along with that weird beeping audio or ceefax.

But not now, all 24/7/365

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When you wake up stiff

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When your gym sessions intensifies and you find sex not that important anymore

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By *homasP80Man
over a year ago

Linwood

"When your gym sessions intensifies and you find sex not that important anymore

Or when walking up the stairs is your idea of exercise.

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By *homasP80Man
over a year ago

Linwood

"When you wake up stiff

When you wake up and are like:

Whats my name again?

Where am I?

What year is it?

Oh sh*t, I'm awake, but my legs are still asleep

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By *homasP80Man
over a year ago

Linwood

"When you buy presents for other people's kids and you no longer understand how the technology works. "

Oh, yea, know what you mean. Kids are like on there iPhones like experts, but you got an ace up your sleeve, you break out your turntable (along with LP's) and kids are like "how does THIS work" and also the kids are like "what are these HUGE black disks for, frisbees?"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"A good Saturday night out takes until Tuesday to recover from

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

when you still remember gas lamps,mangles,copper boilers,tin bath,candles to see your way to bed,rag and bone man with his horse and cart,k b black and white tv,windup gramaphone player,78 records,coal fires,bombsites to play on...almost never ending story this..........

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By *erbyDalesCplCouple
over a year ago

Derbyshire

....when you need Google to find out who anyone in the FHM list actually is, or does.

(And if you're honest, you don't really care)

Mr ddc

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When you cant even get a fuck on PoF

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You keep getting emails from Co op about planning your own funeral

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

People don't wolfwhistle at you so much

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By *he Hobbit And MeCouple
over a year ago

southampton

When the clothes you wore when you were younger come back into fashion

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By *revor1940Man
over a year ago

west of Haverfordwest

I thought fashion went on 25 year cycles, get three goes if you choose wisely!

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By *homasP80Man
over a year ago

Linwood

"....when you need Google to find out who anyone in the FHM list actually is, or does.

(And if you're honest, you don't really care)

Mr ddc"

me saying - "who is this Justin beiber goodness he looks like he's just out of primary school"

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By *iggy1Woman
over a year ago

DORCHESTER

You tuck your thermal vest in your knickers!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"When the clothes you wore when you were younger come back into fashion

The clothes you wore when you were young come back into fashion - for the second time!

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By *yintotryCouple
over a year ago

Belfast

There's movies on TCM ya actually like

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By *homasP80Man
over a year ago

Linwood

"There's movies on TCM ya actually like "

and you go about telling younger people "that's when films WERE films, not all this CGI pish"

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By *elvet RopeMan
over a year ago

by the big field

You're at the top of most peoples age range on Fab

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By *obsrocketMan
over a year ago

Loughborough

When you work with someone born after you passed your driving test.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You get chatted up by men younger than your children"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When you cant message anyone on fab swingers due to reaching 100

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