FabSwingers.com forum: Should I?

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Me and my ex best friend fell out a while ago over something very trivial. Tbh she was doing my head in before that anyway so didn't want to make an effort to make up. Problem is I see her around and I can see she feels awkward.

Should I send her a message saying there's not hard feeling because honestly there isn't any on my part. Or should I just leave it?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *eerobCouple
over a year ago

solihull

"Me and my ex best friend fell out a while ago over something very trivial. Tbh she was doing my head in before that anyway so didn't want to make an effort to make up. Problem is I see her around and I can see she feels awkward.

Should I send her a message saying there's not hard feeling because honestly there isn't any on my part. Or should I just leave it?"

Leave it, she should make the first move.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's easy to make enemies, but great friends are hard to find.

I'd say make the effort.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Should I send her a message saying there's not hard feeling because honestly there isn't any on my part. Or should I just leave it?"

Life's too short baby

Make up so you can at least be civil

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

She wasn't that good of a friend towards the end. When we meet we were both in the same situation. Both had no money but then i made my own business and was making quite a bit more then her she changed towards me. She did say this to me and she said she would get over it. Then she got a new boyfriend and we hardly saw each other.

I don't really want to be friends again.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ive had my best friend since I was five. Id be gutted if we fell out over something trivial. My oh caused a problem years ago by saying something stupid and inappropriate which was untrue and could have lost me my friendship, I bawled him out and made him apologise to her, as I was on her side. I wouldnt lose my friendship because of a man or jealousy.

Sounds like you are doing the right thing if she cant get past the fact that you are doing well.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *he Queen of TartsWoman
Forum Mod
over a year ago

My Own Little World

If you want her back in you life, message her.

If you don't want her back and are just feeling guilty then don't.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If it was only trivial then I'd always look to make up. Nothing worse than walking in somewhere and having that awkward feeling when you spot someone you've fallen out with. But as you've quite clearly said you don't want her friendship again be careful not to end up in same situation. Keeping her at arms length may be more difficult than you think.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *rs TootyWoman
over a year ago

Ayrshire

You sound like a great friend. Not.

She was doing your head in before the split? She got a new friend and you didn't see her.

Friendship isn't 50/50. No relationship is. Sometimes you have to give 100% to support the other person.

Yeah it will be hard for her as when you lose something it does feel strange.

Let it go n let her find a better friend.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You sound like a great friend. Not.

She was doing your head in before the split? She got a new friend and you didn't see her.

Friendship isn't 50/50. No relationship is. Sometimes you have to give 100% to support the other person.

Yeah it will be hard for her as when you lose something it does feel strange.

Let it go n let her find a better friend. "

Meow!!!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *.nottsbloke..Man
over a year ago

the vale

you look hot I will be your friend

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"You sound like a great friend. Not.

She was doing your head in before the split? She got a new friend and you didn't see her.

Friendship isn't 50/50. No relationship is. Sometimes you have to give 100% to support the other person.

Yeah it will be hard for her as when you lose something it does feel strange.

Let it go n let her find a better friend. "

Who said anything about a new friend? Actually read the tread before commenting!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The current situation is obviously making you feel awkward too.

Do what you feel is right. Some things you just gotta do.

You only need to acknowledge what's happened and give it closure.

You'll then be able to move On too.

Happy days.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"If it was only trivial then I'd always look to make up. Nothing worse than walking in somewhere and having that awkward feeling when you spot someone you've fallen out with. But as you've quite clearly said you don't want her friendship again be careful not to end up in same situation. Keeping her at arms length may be more difficult than you think."

The final straw was trivial but the friendship was dying anyway. Basically I just wanted her not to feel bad.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"The current situation is obviously making you feel awkward too.

Do what you feel is right. Some things you just gotta do.

You only need to acknowledge what's happened and give it closure.

You'll then be able to move On too.

Happy days. "

Thank you. That was very helpful.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The final straw was trivial but the friendship was dying anyway. Basically I just wanted her not to feel bad. "

Ah ok. If you feel ok then I'd probably leave it as it is. You might accidentally stir up some old issues. X.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *rs TootyWoman
over a year ago

Ayrshire

I did read it. She has a new 'boyfriend'.

Perhaps you should turn it to how you dealt with things.

Sounds like you're blaming her for her feelings then getting a new boyfriend and doing what most people do. Spent more time with them.

Friendships need work and if you don't miss her then let it go.

If you have a twinge of.. Missing the friendship go contact her.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I did read it. She has a new 'boyfriend'.

Perhaps you should turn it to how you dealt with things.

Sounds like you're blaming her for her feelings then getting a new boyfriend and doing what most people do. Spent more time with them.

Friendships need work and if you don't miss her then let it go.

If you have a twinge of.. Missing the friendship go contact her.

The new boyfriend compounded the situation and wasnt the cause but you would know that if you could read. But you are right friendship is a 2way street but if your friend can't be arsed to make an effort over a along period of time then I'd rather cut my loses. There are limits. At least I can say I made every effort. I have nothing to feel quilty.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I did read it. She has a new 'boyfriend'.

Perhaps you should turn it to how you dealt with things.

Sounds like you're blaming her for her feelings then getting a new boyfriend and doing what most people do. Spent more time with them.

Friendships need work and if you don't miss her then let it go.

If you have a twinge of.. Missing the friendship go contact her.

Jeez....you're not that friend are you lol???

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ilmiss75Woman
over a year ago

Thornton

Should I send her a message saying there's not hard feeling because honestly there isn't any on my part. Or should I just leave it?"

An ex friend and I had a big fall out about 4 years ago. We also worked together which made it really hard. She would make snide n smutty remarks about me in front of people so i could hear it in the staff canteen and things. I just used to ignore her. She was showing herself up more than she was me.

I was happy to just leave it and people always used to say why dont you just talk to her and sort it out. I didnt, due to the fact of her rude smutty remarks.

She was actually the one to make the move and approach me when she was plastered at a collegues wedding party. I just told her to come back when she was sober. We talk during work for the sake of work but i would never go back to being friends with her which is a shame as we had a really good friendship.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Should I send her a message saying there's not hard feeling because honestly there isn't any on my part. Or should I just leave it?"

Go for it, life's too short.

You just might make her day! Xx

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *eanut Butter CupWoman
over a year ago

B & M Bargains

Should I send her a message saying there's not hard feeling because honestly there isn't any on my part. Or should I just leave it?"

Leave it. I broke all contact with my best friend a couple of years ago. She caused so much trouble over the years and I always forgave her. Then she got a fella and dropped me like a sack of shit.

You say you don't want to be friends with her, that's how I feel about mine, but it doesn't stop me missing what we have and thinking of her every time I have news.

If the friendship was already over before you fell out, why would things be any different now?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *rs TootyWoman
over a year ago

Ayrshire

Lol, no.

I just looked at the mail from the fence.

The friend was honest enough to say she struggled with op. The friend also said she would get over it.

Seems like op had issues with the friendship for a while but once the boyfriend turned up that became another issue for her.

The friendship was obviously over for a while from op's side but wants to make the friend the reason..

As I say it takes 2 to make or break..

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *issmorganWoman
over a year ago

Calderdale innit

"It's easy to make enemies, but great friends are hard to find.

I'd say make the effort."

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Lol, no.

I just looked at the mail from the fence.

The friend was honest enough to say she struggled with op. The friend also said she would get over it.

Seems like op had issues with the friendship for a while but once the boyfriend turned up that became another issue for her.

The friendship was obviously over for a while from op's side but wants to make the friend the reason..

As I say it takes 2 to make or break.."

A lot of ifs there! Seems like you're not just sitting on the fence but it's stuck up your arse to.

Oh well guess some people have nothing better to do then to be a keyboard worrier.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Lol, no.

I just looked at the mail from the fence.

The friend was honest enough to say she struggled with op. The friend also said she would get over it.

Seems like op had issues with the friendship for a while but once the boyfriend turned up that became another issue for her.

The friendship was obviously over for a while from op's side but wants to make the friend the reason..

As I say it takes 2 to make or break..

A lot of ifs there! Seems like you're not just sitting on the fence but it's stuck up your arse to.

Oh well guess some people have nothing better to do then to be a keyboard worrier. "

Splinters?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The awkwardness is something that has become apparent to you , I'd commend you for making the first move to put this lady at ease , if your not going to be tight again a least you can be comfortable around each other .

Sometimes it's nicer to focus on what you had rather then the reason you lost it .

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ogistical NightmaresCouple
over a year ago

Manchester Area

Should I send her a message saying there's not hard feeling because honestly there isn't any on my part. Or should I just leave it?"

Invite her round to share a double ender as a kiss and make up gesture perhaps

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

up to you, you will be seen as the bigger person if you message

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Lol, no.

I just looked at the mail from the fence.

The friend was honest enough to say she struggled with op. The friend also said she would get over it.

Seems like op had issues with the friendship for a while but once the boyfriend turned up that became another issue for her.

The friendship was obviously over for a while from op's side but wants to make the friend the reason..

As I say it takes 2 to make or break..

A lot of ifs there! Seems like you're not just sitting on the fence but it's stuck up your arse to.

Oh well guess some people have nothing better to do then to be a keyboard worrier. "

I'm not agreeing with either of you here but sometimes you need to look from another side.

Op was your behaviour impeccable? You got a new business and became successful and you attitude never changed to your friend?

I've lost friends through just simply growing apart and some through discovering that they were self centred assholes. Some I'm sure it was a two way things and I regret my actions. Very rarely is anyone totally without blame. There are always 3 sides to every story

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *andy_tomMan
over a year ago

wolverhampton

Life is short kiss and make up

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *allipygousMan
over a year ago

Leicester

Four simple questions on whether a friendship is worth keeping:

Does the relationship enhance your life?

Is the support all one way, from you to them?

Do you have to constantly listen to them whinging about their life whilst they do nothing to change it?

Do they owe you money?

If the answers are no, yes, yes and no, then don't bother.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *rs TootyWoman
over a year ago

Ayrshire

Just because I don't agree with you op doesn't make me a keyboard warrior.

It just means I'm able to see if from both sides. Not purely yours.

If people post on the forums they need to be able to accept that they may get replies completely different to their views.

I won't kiss people's asses by telling them they are in the right when I think otherwise. There was obviously friction on both sides.

It took 2 people to create the friendship. Asking the people on fab if you should continue with the friendship is asking for alternate views. It's also pointless as no one else was involved in the friendship. If you feel it's not giving you enough then walk away

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *rs TootyWoman
over a year ago

Ayrshire

Well said and eloquently put..

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Lol, no.

I just looked at the mail from the fence.

The friend was honest enough to say she struggled with op. The friend also said she would get over it.

Seems like op had issues with the friendship for a while but once the boyfriend turned up that became another issue for her.

The friendship was obviously over for a while from op's side but wants to make the friend the reason..

As I say it takes 2 to make or break..

A lot of ifs there! Seems like you're not just sitting on the fence but it's stuck up your arse to.

Oh well guess some people have nothing better to do then to be a keyboard worrier.

I'm not agreeing with either of you here but sometimes you need to look from another side.

Op was your behaviour impeccable? You got a new business and became successful and you attitude never changed to your friend?

I may have shown too excitement in the beginning but i saw it was a affecting her negatively so I stopped talking about it but see would see things that I bought and she wouldn't look pleasured. She told me she was envious and she would work on it but we saw less and less of each other and then once with her boyfriend mostly all contact stopped.

I don't want to be friends again because she make me feel guilty for my success. Friends should be happy for each other.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Lol, no.

I just looked at the mail from the fence.

The friend was honest enough to say she struggled with op. The friend also said she would get over it.

Seems like op had issues with the friendship for a while but once the boyfriend turned up that became another issue for her.

The friendship was obviously over for a while from op's side but wants to make the friend the reason..

As I say it takes 2 to make or break..

A lot of ifs there! Seems like you're not just sitting on the fence but it's stuck up your arse to.

Oh well guess some people have nothing better to do then to be a keyboard worrier.

I'm not agreeing with either of you here but sometimes you need to look from another side.

Op was your behaviour impeccable? You got a new business and became successful and you attitude never changed to your friend?

I don't want to be friends again because she make me feel guilty for my success. Friends should be happy for each other."

I think you've answered your own question. Move on and be happy. Oh and the next time you see her.....wave a bunch of £50's at her and shout "look at my lovely money".

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Just because I don't agree with you op doesn't make me a keyboard warrior.

It just means I'm able to see if from both sides. Not purely yours.

If people post on the forums they need to be able to accept that they may get replies completely different to their views.

I won't kiss people's asses by telling them they are in the right when I think otherwise. There was obviously friction on both sides.

You dont need you to agree me but don't try to make out you're trying to see both sides. Since most of your logic is based on pure conjecture. I'm not asking for opinion on why my friendship ended.

Like I said you have a stick up your arse.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Lol, no.

I just looked at the mail from the fence.

The friend was honest enough to say she struggled with op. The friend also said she would get over it.

Seems like op had issues with the friendship for a while but once the boyfriend turned up that became another issue for her.

The friendship was obviously over for a while from op's side but wants to make the friend the reason..

As I say it takes 2 to make or break..

A lot of ifs there! Seems like you're not just sitting on the fence but it's stuck up your arse to.

Oh well guess some people have nothing better to do then to be a keyboard worrier.

I'm not agreeing with either of you here but sometimes you need to look from another side.

Op was your behaviour impeccable? You got a new business and became successful and you attitude never changed to your friend?

I don't want to be friends again because she make me feel guilty for my success. Friends should be happy for each other.

I think you've answered your own question. Move on and be happy. Oh and the next time you see her.....wave a bunch of £50's at her and shout "look at my lovely money"."

I will move on thanks but I'm not that much of a bitch.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Just because I don't agree with you op doesn't make me a keyboard warrior.

It just means I'm able to see if from both sides. Not purely yours.

If people post on the forums they need to be able to accept that they may get replies completely different to their views.

I won't kiss people's asses by telling them they are in the right when I think otherwise. There was obviously friction on both sides.

You dont need you to agree me but don't try to make out you're trying to see both sides. Since most of your logic is based on pure conjecture. I'm not asking for opinion on why my friendship ended.

Like I said you have a stick up your arse.

She does have 'Anal' on her interests so that's quite possible. Although more likely a plug or toy

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If you want her back in you life, message her.

If you don't want her back and are just feeling guilty then don't."

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Life is to short to bare grudges and you where friends once so why not again.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

" ...

Like I said you have a stick up your arse.

Friendly.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just my personal opinion but move on..forget the past and live for now...plenty more friends/relationships to find...just mark that one as done.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This happened with a very close friend of mine and I realised as time went on I just missed her more and more but didn't know what to do.

One day I bit the bullet, swallowed my pride and sent her a text, I told her I missed her and often thought of her and her children and if there was any way of catching up again I'd love to see her.

I got a text back pretty quick and the next day we met, it went brilliantly and we both felt stupid for letting it ride as long as we did. She is and always will be my closest friend.

As others have said, life's to short x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Friends ain't just for Christmas Yer know !!!

Oh wait !! Oh no that's dogs

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It's easy to make enemies, but great friends are hard to find.

I'd say make the effort."

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

Post new Message to Thread