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Cat lovers...

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

How to give your cat a pill !!

To all Cat Owners

Pick cat up and cradle it in the crook of your left arm as if holding a baby. Position right forefinger and thumb on either side of cat’s mouth and gently apply pressure to cheeks while holding pill in right hand. As cat opens mouth pop pill into mouth. Allow cat to close mouth and swallow.

Retrieve pill from floor and cat from behind sofa. Cradle cat in left arm and repeat process. Retrieve cat from bedroom and throw away soggy pill.

Take new pill from foil wrap, cradle cat in left arm holding rear paws tightly with left hand. Force jaws open and push pill to back of mouth with right forefinger. Hold mouth shut to a count of 10.

Retrieve pill from goldfish bowl and cat from top of wardrobe. Call spouse from garden. Kneel on floor with cat firmly wedged between knees, holding front and rear paws. Ignore low growls emitted by cat. Get spouse to hold cat’s head firmly with one hand while forcing wooden ruler into mouth. Drop pill down ruler and rub cat’s throat vigorously.

Retrieve cat from curtain rail, get another pill from foil wrap. Make note to buy new ruler and repair curtains. Carefully sweep shattered figurines from hearth and set to one side for glueing later.

Wrap cat in large towel and get spouse to lie on cat with it’s head just visible from below spouses armpit. Put pill in the end of a drinking straw, force cats mouth open with pencil and blow down drinking straw.

Check label to make sure pill is not harmful to humans, drink glass of water to take taste away. Apply plaster to spouses forearm and remove blood from carpet with cold water and soap.

Retrieve cat from neighbour’s shed. Get another pill. Place cat in cupboard and close door onto neck to leave head showing. Force mouth open with dessert spoon. Flick pill down throat with elastic band.

Fetch screwdriver from garage and put cupboard door back on it’s hinges. Apply cold compress to cheek and check records for date of last tetanus injection. Throw torn T-shirt away and get new one from bedroom.

Tie cat’s front paws to rear paws with garden twine and bind tightly to leg of dining table. Find heavy duty pruning gloves from shed. Force cat’s mouth open with small spanner. Push pill into mouth followed by large piece of Cod. Hold head vertically and pour pint of milk down throat to wash pill down.

Get spouse to drive you to Casualty department at local Hospital. Sit quietly while Doctor stitches fingers and forearm and removes pill remnants from eyes. Stop by Furniture shop on way home to order a new table.

Arrange for Vet to make a house call !!.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Brilliant!!!

My Bengal cross is a strange one ... had to give him anti biotic capsules recently so put one of his pouches of food in his bowl, split open a capsule and sprinkled the powder onto it, mixed it in with a fork and when I turned around, he'd eaten the empty capsule! He really is a feline dustbin!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Maybe they can give you a tab you can stick their arses !!!

Who knows...

they may just like it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I always struggled with giving either of my cats tablets, but the treat bars made for them are ideal to wedge a pill into, they wolf it down without even knowing! Bless...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I must be experiencing de'ja vue, wasn't this posted a couple of weeks ago?

Or is it just a glitch in The Matrix??

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


" I always struggled with giving either of my cats tablets, but the treat bars made for them are ideal to wedge a pill into, they wolf it down without even knowing! Bless..."

I used ot just let the fooker die, especially if I'd just had a new carpet laid and the colour of the cat clashed. Easier to get a new cat than try and dye it the same colour.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Cant ya dress ya pussy up like they do dogs ?

Then it will match the decor

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By *etillanteWoman
over a year ago

.

A couple of years ago one of my cats got cystitus

Got some pills and no probs she ate them like sweets. Unfortunately they didn't work and she had to have stronger ones. Would she take em, would she hell, my arms looked like Jack the Ripper had been at me, bless

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By *uton_coupleCouple
over a year ago

luton

i used to switch my cats to little hard biscuits for a few days and feed them by hand on megre rations

then i would starve them for a day till late evening

then feed them one biscuit at a time slipping the pill in amongst the biscuits

they would munch them no probs

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Pmsl....Wouldnt hold the cats head firmly and twist quickly anti clockwise until neck snaps be much easier and then bag it up and launch it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

That's bang out of order vogue u horrible smelly pussy hating retard camt you keep your fetishes to urself U waste of a time misfit .

Meeeeeow

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 05/10/10 18:35:11]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Help....ADMIN! Im getting picked on.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sorry vouge !!!! Please will u forgive me ?

Haha don't think anyone will back you up you one eyed hairy toothed gimp mask lovin wrinkled disco stick of an excuse

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

hehe...Forgiven my child. Compliment taken. Youve got me blushing . p.s lick ur pussy all night.... if your wanting to crack another 6 a day off with the aid of me pics feel free but no need to message me 10 times aday for a meet. Why dont you change your profile to fully hommed up and im sure some on here would love to stab abit fudge with you. Good luck

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"hehe...Forgiven my child. Compliment taken. Youve got me blushing . p.s lick ur pussy all night.... if your wanting to crack another 6 a day off with the aid of me pics feel free but no need to message me 10 times aday for a meet. Why dont you change your profile to fully hommed up and im sure some on here would love to stab abit fudge with you. Good luck "

Well done my friend . You just proved wot every swinger on here thought you have 1 twisted childish little mind good luck in woteva you choose but pls do every decent sole on this glorious site a favour and fukin do one !

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

NOW NOW CHILDREN!!!!!!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"hehe...Forgiven my child. Compliment taken. Youve got me blushing . p.s lick ur pussy all night.... if your wanting to crack another 6 a day off with the aid of me pics feel free but no need to message me 10 times aday for a meet. Why dont you change your profile to fully hommed up and im sure some on here would love to stab abit fudge with you. Good luck

Well done my friend . You just proved wot every swinger on here thought you have 1 twisted childish little mind good luck in woteva you choose but pls do every decent sole on this glorious site a favour and fukin do one ! "
Aww bless...thats very professional of you to say so Lupan. Thanks for your kind thoughts

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

how to give a dog a pill: wrap bacon around it, throw it in the air

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not a problem my friend !

You no I love you more each day !!!!!

Keep up the good work and let's see if any miserable fuka actually laughs on here haha .....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"How to give your cat a pill !!

To all Cat Owners

Pick cat up and cradle it in the crook of your left arm as if holding a baby. Position right forefinger and thumb on either side of cat’s mouth and gently apply pressure to cheeks while holding pill in right hand. As cat opens mouth pop pill into mouth. Allow cat to close mouth and swallow.

Retrieve pill from floor and cat from behind sofa. Cradle cat in left arm and repeat process. Retrieve cat from bedroom and throw away soggy pill.

Take new pill from foil wrap, cradle cat in left arm holding rear paws tightly with left hand. Force jaws open and push pill to back of mouth with right forefinger. Hold mouth shut to a count of 10.

Retrieve pill from goldfish bowl and cat from top of wardrobe. Call spouse from garden. Kneel on floor with cat firmly wedged between knees, holding front and rear paws. Ignore low growls emitted by cat. Get spouse to hold cat’s head firmly with one hand while forcing wooden ruler into mouth. Drop pill down ruler and rub cat’s throat vigorously.

Retrieve cat from curtain rail, get another pill from foil wrap. Make note to buy new ruler and repair curtains. Carefully sweep shattered figurines from hearth and set to one side for glueing later.

Wrap cat in large towel and get spouse to lie on cat with it’s head just visible from below spouses armpit. Put pill in the end of a drinking straw, force cats mouth open with pencil and blow down drinking straw.

Check label to make sure pill is not harmful to humans, drink glass of water to take taste away. Apply plaster to spouses forearm and remove blood from carpet with cold water and soap.

Retrieve cat from neighbour’s shed. Get another pill. Place cat in cupboard and close door onto neck to leave head showing. Force mouth open with dessert spoon. Flick pill down throat with elastic band.

Fetch screwdriver from garage and put cupboard door back on it’s hinges. Apply cold compress to cheek and check records for date of last tetanus injection. Throw torn T-shirt away and get new one from bedroom.

Tie cat’s front paws to rear paws with garden twine and bind tightly to leg of dining table. Find heavy duty pruning gloves from shed. Force cat’s mouth open with small spanner. Push pill into mouth followed by large piece of Cod. Hold head vertically and pour pint of milk down throat to wash pill down.

Get spouse to drive you to Casualty department at local Hospital. Sit quietly while Doctor stitches fingers and forearm and removes pill remnants from eyes. Stop by Furniture shop on way home to order a new table.

Arrange for Vet to make a house call !!.

"

POSL Superb account and brilliantly written

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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

When all else fails just put pill in some Tuna...sorted

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