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"It's been eight days and while there's no discomfort it can't be healthy can it" if it worries you see a gp | |||
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"Depends what's wrong " Bit of congestion, you know, touch of the operation stack, cross the triple velvet off the shopping list this week | |||
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"Depends what's wrong Bit of congestion, you know, touch of the operation stack, cross the triple velvet off the shopping list this week" well I'd self medicate first plenty of things out there. Then if they didn't work I'd go. | |||
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"Day 9, spy glasses and fake beard ordered in preparation for a visit to Boots" Do some yoga too. | |||
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"A heavy night of well lubed anal is in order " But how will popping things up YOUR bum help MY hoop? | |||
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"not read the whole post but if this isn't a joke I would be seriously speed dialing medical assistance as your body will poison itself ..good luck !" Believe me I'm not laughing | |||
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"not read the whole post but if this isn't a joke I would be seriously speed dialing medical assistance as your body will poison itself ..good luck ! Believe me I'm not laughing " you really do need to seek advice or lock yourself in the bathroom and fire a tube up! that meat from easter will be breeding bacteria and you could collapse! go to A&E asap | |||
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"Manual evacuation, usually performed by a big burly male nurse . You need to visit your Dr for a prescription, ask for Picolax then go to the local fet shop for man size nappies. . " giggidy | |||
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"And you will be starting to smell " No change there then | |||
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"I've only ever been a twice a week guy and my guts are pretty cast iron, it's the thought of birthing a cannon ball that's troubling me. My hoop has always been immaculate so the up the bum remedy can wait a teeny bit longer (yes I'm bloody squeamish about such things!!). Does coffee count as water?, I can get through half a dozen mugs of instant at work and a pot of espresso during the day" No! Drink water and lots of it. Something pure in your system so that it's not working to extract stuff from it. Stop being squeamish and get yourself sorted. | |||
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"I've only ever been a twice a week guy and my guts are pretty cast iron, it's the thought of birthing a cannon ball that's troubling me. My hoop has always been immaculate so the up the bum remedy can wait a teeny bit longer (yes I'm bloody squeamish about such things!!). Does coffee count as water?, I can get through half a dozen mugs of instant at work and a pot of espresso during the day No! Drink water and lots of it. Something pure in your system so that it's not working to extract stuff from it. Stop being squeamish and get yourself sorted. " Isn't Coffee even better, firstly it's a diuretic and secondly it does contain water. THEN when its had the desired effect, top up with water. | |||
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"I've only ever been a twice a week guy and my guts are pretty cast iron," You are joking right?.... | |||
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"I've only ever been a twice a week guy and my guts are pretty cast iron, it's the thought of birthing a cannon ball that's troubling me. My hoop has always been immaculate so the up the bum remedy can wait a teeny bit longer (yes I'm bloody squeamish about such things!!). Does coffee count as water?, I can get through half a dozen mugs of instant at work and a pot of espresso during the day No! Drink water and lots of it. Something pure in your system so that it's not working to extract stuff from it. Stop being squeamish and get yourself sorted. Isn't Coffee even better, firstly it's a diuretic and secondly it does contain water. THEN when its had the desired effect, top up with water." nope, dont want diuretics, want to stop the compacted fecal matter drying out or it wont move. | |||
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"I've only ever been a twice a week guy and my guts are pretty cast iron, You are joking right?.... " Nope | |||
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"It's been eight days and while there's no discomfort it can't be healthy can it" A gallon of strong coffee, a bowl of prunes, teaspoon of brewers yeast and a pinch of phenolpthalein. You will be praying for the squits to stop. | |||
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"I've only ever been a twice a week guy and my guts are pretty cast iron, it's the thought of birthing a cannon ball that's troubling me. My hoop has always been immaculate so the up the bum remedy can wait a teeny bit longer (yes I'm bloody squeamish about such things!!). Does coffee count as water?, I can get through half a dozen mugs of instant at work and a pot of espresso during the day" It wont be a cannonball. It will be rabbit droppings. Stick a rubber glove on, get lubed up and have a rummage with your finger. That can either break things up, or get your system moving a little. Are you sure you haven't got something stuck up there and are just to embarrassed to admit it? | |||
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"Manual evacuation, usually performed by a big burly male nurse . You need to visit your Dr for a prescription, ask for Picolax then go to the local fet shop for man size nappies. . giggidy " You can get Hello Kitty ones from eBay.....don't ask me how I know this | |||
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" Simple, buy and quickly eat 6oz+ (150gm or so) of sugar free sweets with artificial sweeteners such as Sorbitol in them and you'll have no need of a Dr. Plumber maybe to retrieve yer innards." I'd definitely agree with this. I learnt the hard way.. | |||
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"Manual evacuation, usually performed by a big burly male nurse . You need to visit your Dr for a prescription, ask for Picolax then go to the local fet shop for man size nappies. . giggidy You can get Hello Kitty ones from eBay.....don't ask me how I know this " But I NEED to know how you know this | |||
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"not read the whole post but if this isn't a joke I would be seriously speed dialing medical assistance as your body will poison itself ..good luck ! Believe me I'm not laughing " 12 days is dangerous. Hate to say this but you may need 'manual decompaction'. You need to see a doctor. If you develop sepsis you can be dead within 24 hours. | |||
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"I called my GP today to ask if my ultrasound results were in. I may have a gall bladder problem. I called at 4 as it was quiet, and I was on my lunch only to be told 'we give out test results between 1 and 3'. I answered well I'm at work between 8.30 and 7 and this is the only time I had free. She asked if I got a lunch break. My response was yes - I'm calling you because I'm on lunch. I requested appt for Monday between 2-4 only to be told I need to call Monday at 8am. I think a new GP is required." Mine is similar to this. I work between 830 and 145, with a little gap between jobs, when gp phone is usually busy and half hour for lunch, which doesnt fit in with gp calling times for appointments. If I want a same day appointment I have to phone at 1pm,when im working. So invariably all the appointments that suit workers, are gone | |||
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"Cant believe i keep coming back to this ..definitely one of those need to know if its sorted.. just for extra added info weigh yourself before and after " giggidy gotta be a 6lb drop!! we taking bets? | |||
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"Cant believe i keep coming back to this ..definitely one of those need to know if its sorted.. just for extra added info weigh yourself before and after giggidy gotta be a 6lb drop!! we taking bets? " Ha i think a plumber may be required also | |||
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"It's been eight days and while there's no discomfort it can't be healthy can it" A full week later and you still have not visited your doctor? Where's the slap my face in disbelief emoticon? | |||
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"Cant believe i keep coming back to this ..definitely one of those need to know if its sorted.. just for extra added info weigh yourself before and after giggidy gotta be a 6lb drop!! we taking bets? Ha i think a plumber may be required also " plastic sheeting and a hose too! | |||
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"I called my GP today to ask if my ultrasound results were in. I may have a gall bladder problem. I called at 4 as it was quiet, and I was on my lunch only to be told 'we give out test results between 1 and 3'. I answered well I'm at work between 8.30 and 7 and this is the only time I had free. She asked if I got a lunch break. My response was yes - I'm calling you because I'm on lunch. I requested appt for Monday between 2-4 only to be told I need to call Monday at 8am. I think a new GP is required. Mine is similar to this. I work between 830 and 145, with a little gap between jobs, when gp phone is usually busy and half hour for lunch, which doesnt fit in with gp calling times for appointments. If I want a same day appointment I have to phone at 1pm,when im working. So invariably all the appointments that suit workers, are gone " Have you checked whether your GP has an online system? More are getting this - they are all supposed to have an online system from this month. Some are introducing Skype appointments too. | |||
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"OP, look up 'Fecal Impaction' on Web. Read possible complications and side effects. (Hint - ulceration of the rectal tissue; Tissue death (necrosis) or rectal tissue injury) GO TO DOCTOR! " He doesn't need to as he's told us about it all. OP, I hope you have taken the advice that has been given to go and get this sorted! | |||
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"Have you been ...walter ...remember that ??? " That's showing your age... and mine, as I do remember it. | |||
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"Have you been ...walter ...remember that ??? That's showing your age... and mine, as I do remember it. " Dont ask me what i did yesterday tho | |||
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"Have you been ...walter ...remember that ??? That's showing your age... and mine, as I do remember it. Dont ask me what i did yesterday tho " | |||
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"Have you been ...walter ...remember that ??? That's showing your age... and mine, as I do remember it. Dont ask me what i did yesterday tho " Were you stood there standing in Hylda's housecoat? | |||
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"Have you been ...walter ...remember that ??? That's showing your age... and mine, as I do remember it. Dont ask me what i did yesterday tho Were you stood there standing in Hylda's housecoat? " Maybe | |||
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"Back from the walk in clinic, got to squirt a thing up my bum and keep it in for TWENTY minutes!!, bloody hell." Well done for going to see someone and accepting rearguard treatment is now required. Squirt then lay back with your legs in the air. | |||
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" Squirt then lay back with your legs in the air. " I think you've got that bit back to front | |||
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"omg im actually checking in to see if the OP has been!!! " Haha a few of us have over the last couple of days .. listen to the national news ..this is a good story | |||
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"I'd give it a while before going in there, I mean I've opened the window wide and left the fan on but still... Blimey don't know how you're supposed to keep clenched for the full twenty, I might gave managed 10 minutes tops, still I now know whatever else life throws at me I shall never suffer a greater indignity that shuffling to the bathroom with a plastic bottle hanging out my hoop." Well done. Expect more. Keep well hydrated now and into the future. | |||
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"Yes mum" You'll only have yourself to blame when you are accused of being full of shit on a thread. | |||
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"I can confidently say I'm not as full of shit as I usually am, bit gassy though." giggidy | |||
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"Did you do the weigh before and after ..thats what i want to know" | |||
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"Did you do the weigh before and after ..thats what i want to know" me too but then again if he said 2 stone would we all be at it? we would have to meet in a field!!! | |||
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"Did you do the weigh before and after ..thats what i want to knowme too but then again if he said 2 stone would we all be at it? we would have to meet in a field!!! " Eugh the thought just made my belly flip | |||
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"Did you do the weigh before and after ..thats what i want to knowme too but then again if he said 2 stone would we all be at it? we would have to meet in a field!!! Eugh the thought just made my belly flip " i forgot to mention everybody should bring a packet of seeds scatter em and come back next year and see what we got!! | |||
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"Did you do the weigh before and after ..thats what i want to knowme too but then again if he said 2 stone would we all be at it? we would have to meet in a field!!! Eugh the thought just made my belly flip i forgot to mention everybody should bring a packet of seeds scatter em and come back next year and see what we got!! " Just eat tomatoes. Job done! | |||
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"Did you do the weigh before and after ..thats what i want to knowme too but then again if he said 2 stone would we all be at it? we would have to meet in a field!!! Eugh the thought just made my belly flip i forgot to mention everybody should bring a packet of seeds scatter em and come back next year and see what we got!! Just eat tomatoes. Job done! " | |||
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