FabSwingers.com forum: Grudges

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I have a friend who fell out with me over a silly argument. Apologies have been made but it's still not enough. Lately I haven't felt good enough and always pushed away. I have went out of my way to help this person numerous times.

Despite saying he will always be receptive to my friendship he still won't return friendly messages/calls.

How long does a grudge last?

It's hurtful cause this is one person I thought I could trust to be a good friend.

I feel lately I'm being nothing but judged.

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

"I have a friend who fell out with me over a silly argument. Apologies have been made but it's still not enough. Lately I haven't felt good enough and always pushed away. I have went out of my way to help this person numerous times.

Despite saying he will always be receptive to my friendship he still won't return friendly messages/calls.

How long does a grudge last?

It's hurtful cause this is one person I thought I could trust to be a good friend.

I feel lately I'm being nothing but judged. "

Or, just maybe, it's not about you and there is something else going on in his life and he needs some space and time to sort his head out?

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By *lacksausageMan
over a year ago

Birmingham Airport

Did you fuck his friend or something along those lines?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Did you fuck his friend or something along those lines?"

I did set up a single profile and fucked someone else after being encouraged many times to go hve fun. When he fnd out he told me I jeprodise what we had. I deleted profile and said I wld tell him my every move. Still not enough.

I don't believe the fall out is entirely that although he barely touched me last time we met.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Did you fuck his friend or something along those lines?"

I did set up a single profile and fucked someone else after being encouraged many times to go hve fun. When he fnd out he told me I jeprodised what we had. I deleted profile and said I wld tell him my every move. Still not enough.

I don't believe the fall out is entirely that although he barely touched me last time we met.

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By *inaTitzTV/TS
over a year ago

Titz Towers, North Notts

I feel sorry for people who hold grudges - they must miss out on a lot of friendships and joy through it.

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By *icky999Man
over a year ago

warrington

Try talking about him on fab and make him look like a childish arse see if that helps

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you upset me I'm usually over it in about 15 minutes. Hands are shaken, hugs exchanged and no more is said. If, however, it involves one of my kids or my dog then I'm afraid you're done.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"If you upset me I'm usually over it in about 15 minutes. Hands are shaken, hugs exchanged and no more is said. If, however, it involves one of my kids or my dog then I'm afraid you're done."

No kids or dog involved lol.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Try talking about him on fab and make him look like a childish arse see if that helps

I have a nice message on status. He goes on to have a look to see if I've answered mail but has yet to comment on anything I've said. Sad really!!

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By *lacksausageMan
over a year ago

Birmingham Airport

You got kids and dogs as well?

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By *eavenNhellCouple
over a year ago

carrbrook stalybridge

"I feel sorry for people who hold grudges - they must miss out on a lot of friendships and joy through it. "
I don't hold grudges I foster them and feed them stoke them up till they are unbearable for the other person I don't forgive easily

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I feel sorry for people who hold grudges - they must miss out on a lot of friendships and joy through it. I don't hold grudges I foster them and feed them stoke them up till they are unbearable for the other person I don't forgive easily "

Neither does he. I'm sure I'm the only one he holds a grudge against. It was something silly.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"You got kids and dogs as well?

Oh yes!! Both nature's lol

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

I control my own happiness in this life and I have little or no room for grudges or negative influences.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Was his ego bruised?

Some men have such a fragile ego that it's never truly fixed....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You got kids and dogs as well?

Oh yes!! Both nature's lol "

Well, the background is a little hard to understand. You are a couple. And this is a swingers site. Emotions can be difficult. I am not really getting the issue.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 10/04/15 20:11:14]

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

If someone apologises to me I generally forget all about it.

If this guy is a fuck buddy maybe he's using it as a get out of jail card

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Neither does he. I'm sure I'm the only one he holds a grudge against. It was something silly. "

Just ask him what it'll take to sort everything out.

I honestly wouldn't put up with someone trying to make me feel bad after i've apologised and meant it. You should be working towards fixing things between you both now, So lot's of talking needs doing, and sulking occasionally is ok coz people have feelings but not sulking all the time. He's being manipulative and making you feel bad for doing nothing wrong, and you apologised for it. Tbh i wouldn't want a guy like this is my life at all, cpomes off as abusive to me.

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By *he Queen of TartsWoman
Forum Mod
over a year ago

My Own Little World

If it was my fault, and I have done all I can do to make it right. Apologised, seen it from their side, promised to not do it again etc and they still hold a grudge, after I have made the first move time and again and they have shown their disinterest then I leave them to it.

I have done all I can and it is obviously not enough, then the ball is in their court. There is only so many time that my friendship can be rebuffed.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Despite saying he will always be receptive to my friendship he still won't return friendly messages/calls.

How long does a grudge last?

It's hurtful cause this is one person I thought I could trust to be a good friend.

I feel lately I'm being nothing but judged. "
my point of _iew? get rid of asap! really!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Neither does he. I'm sure I'm the only one he holds a grudge against. It was something silly.

Just ask him what it'll take to sort everything out.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There are some stunningly attractive women on here. To meet them in the flesh would be amazing. Because of what this place is, it's best to distance yourself and not become attached. Be clear with your intentions which are usually fuck related. It's when emotions start that problems arise.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"There are some stunningly attractive women on here. To meet them in the flesh would be amazing. Because of what this place is, it's best to distance yourself and not become attached. Be clear with your intentions which are usually fuck related. It's when emotions start that problems arise. "

I've been his fb for past 3 yrs. We met through work. Things progressed we joined Fab, left and rejoined to spice things up. Fab has come between us so many times. I've been stalked by a weirdo who tried to split us.... look at forum... jailed. We are 2nd on list (user no longer)... I was stalked he hacked into every account I had and tracked me down. I miss my friend as well as my lover. Xx

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

Are you talking about your partner on this profile you are posting from?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Surely the status shouldn't be "Jill is making a public apology" but "Jill has tried apologising and is now trying to public shame you into forgiving her"?

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

Will your friend be reading this

If so, why humiliate yourself & him.

There will mostly be 3 sides to a situation, it must be surely better to sit him down and discuss it, decide if there is a future and continue as a couple or go your separate ways.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

press block and move on comes to Mind here

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I feel lately I'm being nothing but judged. "

I don't want to come across all tree hugging whale loving hippy shit, but please read Desiderata.

It's a truly beautiful piece of prose and something I've found comforting and supportive in the past.

I hope it helps you see the situation for what it is.

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By *ittle Pocket PerveWoman
over a year ago

Portsmouth

Doesn't this remind you of a thread not long ago... we don't know his side

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

almost as bad as people that air their dirty laundry on facebook....think he is better off without you...you seem to attract or desire drama...but this is only my opinion of course x

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

I don't like grudges and am usually forgetful, so wouldn't remember. If there's an air, I like it to be cleared, so discuss things.

I'd make an effort with your friend but leave him ultimately to sort himself out. As a couple its something you could perhaps all weather and go through too.

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By *lacksausageMan
over a year ago

Birmingham Airport

I am TIRED of this fuck buddy shit which some people don't understand.

A fuckbuddy is LESS THAN A FRIEND.

U fuck each other when it is convenient.

You are comfortable fucking each other and at the same time time comfortable fucking other people without permission.

Fuck me!!

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

I nurture grudges like a baby, feed it and watch it grow. I'm of the opinion hurt me once, shame on you, hurt me twice shame on me.

I don't miss out on anything because if someone intentionally hurts me, hardly a friend! If I get the wrong end of the stick and apologies made, then I have no problem forgetting it.

I'm confused though op, you're a couple on a swinging site...don't get the problem here.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm confused though op, you're a couple on a swinging site...don't get the problem here."

If you don't want to fuck other people, either separately or together, then surely you are not swingers!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's over, be happy ye had a few years together and remember the good times. But ye can't go on like this and no amount of begging will help.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

He is doing this because in trying to apologise you are feeding his ego. He is your friend not your owner.

You are not even married. Why the hell does he think he can impose monogamy on you? You have apologised; tell him to accept it or go so you can move on. Where you are now in this mire of guilt and rejection will only bring unhappiness and pain.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Try talking about him on fab and make him look like a childish arse see if that helps

I have a nice message on status. He goes on to have a look to see if I've answered mail but has yet to comment on anything I've said. Sad really!!"

He's the guy on your couple account?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It sounds like the lines were blurred for you both between being fuck buddies and being a couple?

For me, my husband encourages me many times to go have fun on Fab, but I check with him every single time before I go and play to make sure he's ok with it and "included".

It could be that your FB was worried you'd get into trouble again and concerned for your safety?

To be honest though, you should be having this conversation with him, and not with us. You're much more likely to sort it out if you talk to him openly and without criticism or blame.

Listen to why he feels the way he feels?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Maybe the reason why he is finding it so hard to forgive you is because you have aired your feelings on here for everyone to see instead of writing them in a message to him, in privacy?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It sounds like the lines were blurred for you both between being fuck buddies and being a couple?

For me, my husband encourages me many times to go have fun on Fab, but I check with him every single time before I go and play to make sure he's ok with it and "included".

It could be that your FB was worried you'd get into trouble again and concerned for your safety?

To be honest though, you should be having this conversation with him, and not with us. You're much more likely to sort it out if you talk to him openly and without criticism or blame.

Listen to why he feels the way he feels?"

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By *ifestootooshortMan
over a year ago

Near You

"It sounds like the lines were blurred for you both between being fuck buddies and being a couple?

For me, my husband encourages me many times to go have fun on Fab, but I check with him every single time before I go and play to make sure he's ok with it and "included".

It could be that your FB was worried you'd get into trouble again and concerned for your safety?

To be honest though, you should be having this conversation with him, and not with us. You're much more likely to sort it out if you talk to him openly and without criticism or blame.

Listen to why he feels the way he feels?"

Great advice!!!

And don't aut laundry like this on the site, doesn't bode well!?

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

OP, my first contribution was written before I realised this is the male half of your couple profile.

It still stands but with an addition of stop making it about you in public.

You're hurt. He's not responding to you. Putting it on here is either some strange game that you are playing, with or without him, or it's disrespectful to what you claim is a friendship with the person you trust. Trust is hard to keep and easily broken.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

He won't meet. I've text only to be ignored time and time again. He says were friends yet continues to ignore even a msg asking how's things.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Then it's clear what the next step is sadly?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

best you move on in my opinion

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Grudges are a waste of precious time, if i was to do wrong i would say sorry and make it up whatever way possible.

But if that failed i would not go on, pride and all that, if he keeps opening messages and not replying, does he want you to beg?

My thoughts if my apologies are not accepted, my self respect would make me move on.

Sorry about your frienship.

Her

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