FabSwingers.com forum: 20 Seconds Replies

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I know i will probably upset some people with this post but i don't see why it can't be upheld.

It can't take more than 20 seconds to write to someone and say, "I'm sorry, you're not my type".

Just plain rude otherwise!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Upheld or what?..Banned from the Site

Gimp

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Op, would it make you feel any better about your experience here if you had an inbox filled with no thank you's?

I think not

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Depends what message you send, if it's polite we reply if it's rude it gets deleted.

It happens to everybody I wouldn't take it to heart.

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By *ultry SuccubusTV/TS
over a year ago

London

but its 20secs of MY life...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

20 seconds each no thank you reply, you're getting over 150 messages a day, those you respond to with a "no thanks" then ask you why? 20 seconds turn into hours!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I try my best to reply to every message but sometimes it's like I spend half my time on here typing "thanks but no" & blockin, heaven forbid I forget to block & then get the lovely insulting message telling me what they think of me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I know i will probably upset some people with this post but i don't see why it can't be upheld.

It can't take more than 20 seconds to write to someone and say, "I'm sorry, you're not my type".

Just plain rude otherwise!"

To the FAB FAQ!!!!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"20 seconds each no thank you reply, you're getting over 150 messages a day, those you respond to with a "no thanks" then ask you why? 20 seconds turn into hours!"

This ^^

It's just the way it is...get over it op you won't change it

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I think it's a matter of respect just to say sorry not interested.

Anybody would be stupid if they thought that everyone wanted to sleep with them.

I have sent plenty of messages saying, you seem really nice, but you're not my type, I'm sorry.

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By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago

Scotland - Aberdeen

I'm here for my enjoyment, not to appease everyone that mails me!

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By *isscheekychopsWoman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

Why is not replying a sign of disrespect. We are all strangers on a sex site people don't have to reply and it certainly doesn't make them disrespectful for not replying...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think it's a matter of respect just to say sorry not interested.

Anybody would be stupid if they thought that everyone wanted to sleep with them.

I have sent plenty of messages saying, you seem really nice, but you're not my type, I'm sorry.

How many messages a day do you receive?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I understand if i messaged first and then got no reply at all.

I'm talking about women who message you back initially then as if they fall off the face of the planet.

They read the messages with no reply after no aggressive or disrespect on my part.

I might just have a bee in my bonnet today though

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What for the long drawn out why not?

Her

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

ok dude that twenty seconds for each mail, lets say they do this, bearing in mind that some ladies receive mail of up to 50+ per day.....only going form what I have heard

DO they want to do this for 50+ messages, I think not. I know I wouldn't, lifes too short

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By *issmorganWoman
over a year ago

Calderdale innit

If people dont read my profile why should i reply?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think it's a matter of respect just to say sorry not interested.

Anybody would be stupid if they thought that everyone wanted to sleep with them.

I have sent plenty of messages saying, you seem really nice, but you're not my type, I'm sorry.

Why is it respectful to reply to every message.?

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By *lutmeup500Woman
over a year ago

London

I really do get too many messages. And the FF couple profile is worse.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think it's a matter of respect just to say sorry not interested.

Anybody would be stupid if they thought that everyone wanted to sleep with them.

I have sent plenty of messages saying, you seem really nice, but you're not my type, I'm sorry.

How many messages a day do you receive?"

Exactly this! ^

If I only have a few messages I do reply if I have 100 I csn tell you only 4 or 5 at the most will be people I'm interested in why would I sit and waste my time replying to 95 messages saying no just to get another 75 back saying why?? Crazy!!

Maybe fab should add an auto reply feature where you can tick multiple messages to say your not interested! I've seen this on other sites! But honestly op if you don't get a reply take it as a not interested and move on to the next victim

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I understand but its frustrating when you take time to read a profile and see if you could have something in common with someone.

Send a thought out message and start creating a connection with someone just for a full on blank out of nowhere.

I understand the women's point of view, but I'm talking about after 4 or 5 messages, then to say to someone sorry, not for me. I think that's just polite.

Maybe i have too much manners for this site

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Im still trying to work out who would uphold this new Law

Gimp

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Im still trying to work out who would uphold this new Law

Gimp"

Judge Gimp Dredd

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 09/04/15 17:51:00]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Im still trying to work out who would uphold this new Law

Gimp"

lol wonder if it would have a badge

OP... We do mostly reply to all... and actually people can stop messaging for all sorts of reasons.. Including.. Cleared inbox and forgot to reply.

Don't worry about it.

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By *isscheekychopsWoman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

"I understand but its frustrating when you take time to read a profile and see if you could have something in common with someone.

Send a thought out message and start creating a connection with someone just for a full on blank out of nowhere.

I understand the women's point of view, but I'm talking about after 4 or 5 messages, then to say to someone sorry, not for me. I think that's just polite.

Maybe i have too much manners for this site

So are you saying that every person that doesn't reply have bad manners? And what Is too many manners?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You'll need to get used it as it is very common on here. I have friends who don't reply to my messages. I just conclude they have better things to do or more important ways to spend their time. As for strangers your message is like unsolicited junk mail. I'm pretty sure you don't reply to junk mail either.

Delete your sent box and just enjoy it when you do get a reply

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I understand but its frustrating when you take time to read a profile and see if you could have something in common with someone.

Send a thought out message and start creating a connection with someone just for a full on blank out of nowhere.

I understand the women's point of view, but I'm talking about after 4 or 5 messages, then to say to someone sorry, not for me. I think that's just polite.

Maybe i have too much manners for this site

Is there something your saying at roughly the same point when the conversation dies?

Is it after sending your pics?

Are you just bad at small talk and they get bored?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I understand but its frustrating when you take time to read a profile and see if you could have something in common with someone.

Send a thought out message and start creating a connection with someone just for a full on blank out of nowhere.

I understand the women's point of view, but I'm talking about after 4 or 5 messages, then to say to someone sorry, not for me. I think that's just polite.

Maybe i have too much manners for this site

You don't have too much manners. But would it really, genuinely, honestly make you feel better to get a reply saying 'no thanks'? The outcome is exactly the same. In fact, surely it's better not to get a reply because then you can tell yourself that we were stuck up bitches with no manners who you wouldn't have wanted to meet anyway.

From my point of view there's no slight intended if I don't reply. When I'm looking to meet and sending the messages myself I delete my sent box and don't think any more of it: if the reply then they reply, if they're not interested then they don't. I'd like to think others would approach messaging me in the same way.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd rather shit in my hands and clap rather than reply and tell somebody they're not good enough/not what I'm looking for.

No reply surely means not interested?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

On the contrary i reply to the junk mail. I won £2m in a lottery the other day. Waiting for it to come into the bank

Like i've said if you've sent a few messages back and forth and then just blanked i think it deserves a not interested or looking for something different.

I knew i shouldn't have posted anything ha!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'd rather shit in my hands and clap rather than reply and tell somebody they're not good enough/not what I'm looking for.

No reply surely means not interested?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Right, here's a novel idea, send your message, delete the said message from your sent mail box so you can't see what the recipient has done to it. Get on with your day/shopping/work/knitting etc and accept the recipient is doing the same. At some point you might get a reply but then you might not. Breathe deeply then get on with your life. This is just a bit of fun, accept it for what it is and your experience on here will be a much better one.

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By *icky999Man
over a year ago

warrington

Your making somebody do something they had no intention of doing. See consent. Like sales people shouting a question at you in the street, boils my piss.

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

"I think it's a matter of respect just to say sorry not interested.

Anybody would be stupid if they thought that everyone wanted to sleep with them.

I have sent plenty of messages saying, you seem really nice, but you're not my type, I'm sorry.

Good for you , you get a fab gold star.

However you get 10 demerits for having that audacity to tell me how I should spend my time, be it 20 seconds, 20 minutes, or 20 hours. It's my time and I choose how to spend it, no one else!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Even if i only got 1 message a day and i didn't want to reply to it then i wouldn't.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"On the contrary i reply to the junk mail. I won £2m in a lottery the other day. Waiting for it to come into the bank

Like i've said if you've sent a few messages back and forth and then just blanked i think it deserves a not interested or looking for something different.

I knew i shouldn't have posted anything ha!

I didn't read the "4 or 5 messages down the line" follow up. Yeah in that situation I'd reply, if we'd already been messaging, but it's still not worth worrying about.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I wouldn't worry about it, its part of being a single man here

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I know i will probably upset some people with this post but i don't see why it can't be upheld.

It can't take more than 20 seconds to write to someone and say, "I'm sorry, you're not my type".

Just plain rude otherwise!"

Try writing that 50 times plus a day, and going to work, cleaning house, cooking, getting on with real life, messaging people actually want to meet.

Yes my days are 72 hours long.

How about take no reply as not interested

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think it's a matter of respect just to say sorry not interested.

Anybody would be stupid if they thought that everyone wanted to sleep with them.

I have sent plenty of messages saying, you seem really nice, but you're not my type, I'm sorry.

How many women and couples message you each and every day

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By *byssMan
over a year ago

north wales

Just the way it is op! just coz you dont get loads of messages doesn't mean that everyone else doesn't, Some people get 100s and aren't going to reply to everyone. Pick your bottom lip up, deal with it and get on with it mate

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

OP - Paaaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

You're kidding right ?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I haven't told anyone to do anything. People live their lives how they want to and that's completely up to them.

I'm merely making a point that maybe they think i'm ugly or i don't have the personality they're looking for, i just think after a few back and forth messages a reply saying no is fine.

I think that the majority of men should be mature enough to take that message and see it for what it is and move on. I wouldn't ever feel the need to abuse someone or look at someone vengefully for that message.

I just think that after a few messages it would be polite just to send a quick message saying its over.

Please don't think i am reviewing that you should reply to every person, only people you have messaged back and forth a few times.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"On the contrary i reply to the junk mail. I won £2m in a lottery the other day. Waiting for it to come into the bank

Like i've said if you've sent a few messages back and forth and then just blanked i think it deserves a not interested or looking for something different.

I knew i shouldn't have posted anything ha!

I suspect that you do not.

If someone does not wish to respond to your message, it is only good manners to take their decision with good grace.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I wouldn't worry about it, its part of being a single man here

not just single men, we've had many a message deleted the difference is, we don't worry about what happens to it after it's sent. We send them with no expectation of answers.

Some guys need to learn this too

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By *dwalu2Couple
over a year ago

Bristol

"I haven't told anyone to do anything. People live their lives how they want to and that's completely up to them.

I'm merely making a point that maybe they think i'm ugly or i don't have the personality they're looking for, i just think after a few back and forth messages a reply saying no is fine.

I just think that after a few messages it would be polite just to send a quick message saying its over.

Please don't think i am reviewing that you should reply to every person, only people you have messaged back and forth a few times."

'It's over'??!

Until you have had sex with them, it never was!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"On the contrary i reply to the junk mail. I won £2m in a lottery the other day. Waiting for it to come into the bank

Like i've said if you've sent a few messages back and forth and then just blanked i think it deserves a not interested or looking for something different.

I knew i shouldn't have posted anything ha!

Your original post didn't mention after a few messages, still doesn't alter fact that not rude not to reply

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

I understand the women's point of view, but I'm talking about after 4 or 5 messages, then to say to someone sorry, not for me. I think that's just polite.

Maybe i have too much manners for this site

Sure after a few messages I agree it's polite to say something and would be very rude to purposefully ignore someone.

But for first messages we get less abuse/comeback if we simply delete, that's why we do it mostly, and I have to say if someone clearly does not fit the criteria I lay down I feel under no obligation whatsoever to reply.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Groundhog day today?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I have no qualms and agree that the first messages sent if read and not replied or deleted that's fine and i understand the plight and frustration of going through so many messages per day.

My argument/opinion still stands on if there are a few messages sent back and forth already.

I'm not trying to start some war or bring in a rule, just bait frustrated and shouldn't have really vented it on here

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I haven't told anyone to do anything. People live their lives how they want to and that's completely up to them.

I'm merely making a point that maybe they think i'm ugly or i don't have the personality they're looking for, i just think after a few back and forth messages a reply saying no is fine.

I just think that after a few messages it would be polite just to send a quick message saying its over.

Please don't think i am reviewing that you should reply to every person, only people you have messaged back and forth a few times."

Unfortunately, there are a few on here that clearly aren't mature enough to take rejection and think its acceptable to hurl abuse so some think its easier just to ignore when not interested. Don't blame the recipient, blame the small minority who are immature and abusive. If someone's genuinely interested in a meet they'll contact you, if they don't, even after chatting, just forget about them and move on.

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By *quirrelMan
over a year ago

East Manchester

I talked a friend into joining a year ago, she is a good looking girl and just out of a shitty relationship with someone who was cheating on her.

She did her profile on a Thursday and went on a long weekend break, by Sunday night when she got back she had 500+ messages, how was she supposed to answer that many? And more arrived every day, by the time she answered 10 another 10 would arrive. It was when she started getting the insults for not replying that she decided to delete her profile and move on.

sometime it's not possible to answer all letters,so just move on.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I kind of get what He's saying, if we exchanged messages with someone, and I mean 4 5 messages each back and forth, then they just stop replying that is pretty rude, they have spent time replying to us mostly so a quick sorry not for us maybe after face pictures are exchanged isn't too much to expect after a message exchange which has lasted for10 or so messages

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Im still trying to work out who would uphold this new Law

Gimp

Judge Gimp Dredd"

I like that

Can i put my big shiny Badge, Balaclava of authority and Cattle Prod on Expenses

Judge Hang the Bastards Dredd Gimp

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I talked a friend into joining a year ago, she is a good looking girl and just out of a shitty relationship with someone who was cheating on her.

sometime it's not possible to answer all letters,so just move on."

Again, i'm not talking about first messages

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"I know i will probably upset some people with this post but i don't see why it can't be upheld.

It can't take more than 20 seconds to write to someone and say, "I'm sorry, you're not my type".

Just plain rude otherwise!"

Cor! You're a fast typer

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I know i will probably upset some people with this post but i don't see why it can't be upheld.

It can't take more than 20 seconds to write to someone and say, "I'm sorry, you're not my type".

Just plain rude otherwise!

Cor! You're a fast typer

Maybe so, quick fingers can come in handy hah

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By *icky999Man
over a year ago

warrington

"I haven't told anyone to do anything. People live their lives how they want to and that's completely up to them.

I'm merely making a point that maybe they think i'm ugly or i don't have the personality they're looking for, i just think after a few back and forth messages a reply saying no is fine.

I just think that after a few messages it would be polite just to send a quick message saying its over.

Please don't think i am reviewing that you should reply to every person, only people you have messaged back and forth a few times."

you used the word upheld, meaning somebody should enforce it.

Your initial post said nothing about any back and forth messages, you only added that after a load of incredulous responses

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Shit happens"

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Admittingly, the original post doesn't outlay my qualm.

It's not like i changed the scenario of what i'm frustrated with though. I admit i didn't help with the poor start.

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By *ain n MableWoman
over a year ago

Milton Keynes

Unfortunately alot of the time a "no thanks" reply gets a "your only a pair of ugly cunts anyhow" retort, both of which we have no time to write or read.

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By *issHottieBottieWoman
over a year ago

Kent

If you have a convo going then something changes your minds/opinion and you say no thanks you'll prob get accused of being a to timewaster/cock tease... Lol, can't win

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I suppose there must be a lot of immature men out there then.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Christ another one!!

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By *uessWhosBackAgainMan
over a year ago

London

"I know i will probably upset some people with this post but i don't see why it can't be upheld.

It can't take more than 20 seconds to write to someone and say, "I'm sorry, you're not my type".

Just plain rude otherwise!"

seriously or you just bored and looking for a reaction??

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I try my best to reply to every message but sometimes it's like I spend half my time on here typing "thanks but no" & blockin, heaven forbid I forget to block & then get the lovely insulting message telling me what they think of me"

Exactly my experience

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I suppose there must be a lot of immature men out there then.

Yes

Mr Gimp

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

no reply = no thanks thats all there is to it hardly rocket science

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"I know i will probably upset some people with this post but i don't see why it can't be upheld.

It can't take more than 20 seconds to write to someone and say, "I'm sorry, you're not my type".

Just plain rude otherwise!

Cor! You're a fast typer

Maybe so, quick fingers can come in handy hah"

On a serious note this subject comes up an awful lot but nothing anyone says will stop it happening. It is annoying when people chat then either drop off the radar or become vague in their replies but I think it's an occupational hazard.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I know i will probably upset some people with this post but i don't see why it can't be upheld.

It can't take more than 20 seconds to write to someone and say, "I'm sorry, you're not my type".

Just plain rude otherwise!

seriously or you just bored and looking for a reaction??"

Have you read the whole thread? Or are you jumping to conclusions?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I guess you scatter your seed and some grow, shoot up, then suddenly wither for whatever reason, others grow and are nurtured and some simply fall on stony ground. The trail goes cold for all sorts of reasons, best to just move on and let go

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Admittingly, the original post doesn't outlay my qualm.

It's not like i changed the scenario of what i'm frustrated with though. I admit i didn't help with the poor start."

No one has any obligation to reply to anyone.

If you cannot attract someone enough to get a response, it is down to you and not them.

If you have not impressed them enough with your manners, do not expect manners in return.

Why do you consider it to be the fault of others? And if they do not meet your standards of behaviour, isn't it better that you do not continue communication?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I wouldn't worry about it, its part of being a single man here

not just single men, we've had many a message deleted the difference is, we don't worry about what happens to it after it's sent. We send them with no expectation of answers.

Some guys need to learn this too"
YEs they do. I gues the longer they are on fab, they would understand it more

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I guess you scatter your seed and some grow, shoot up, then suddenly wither for whatever reason, others grow and are nurtured and some simply fall on stony ground. The trail goes cold for all sorts of reasons, best to just move on and let go

That's very poetic for a 'why does no one reply' thread

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By *himaeraWoman
over a year ago

near derby.

I was called "a c**t" today for saying no thanks, from now on i will just delete and block anyone I'm not interested in. Oh and yes, I reported him...

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By *uessWhosBackAgainMan
over a year ago

London

"I know i will probably upset some people with this post but i don't see why it can't be upheld.

It can't take more than 20 seconds to write to someone and say, "I'm sorry, you're not my type".

Just plain rude otherwise!

seriously or you just bored and looking for a reaction??

Have you read the whole thread? Or are you jumping to conclusions?"

I'm just asking a question not jumping to anything hence the reason I asked

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You'll need to get used it as it is very common on here. I have friends who don't reply to my messages. I just conclude they have better things to do or more important ways to spend their time. As for strangers your message is like unsolicited junk mail. I'm pretty sure you don't reply to junk mail either.

Delete your sent box and just enjoy it when you do get a reply

I've started doing this. Though I've also stopped sending messages lol

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By *ordonBennettMan
over a year ago

dover

"I understand but its frustrating when you take time to read a profile and see if you could have something in common with someone.

Send a thought out message and start creating a connection with someone just for a full on blank out of nowhere.

I understand the women's point of view, but I'm talking about after 4 or 5 messages, then to say to someone sorry, not for me. I think that's just polite.

Maybe i have too much manners for this site

"I have too much manners for the site"!!

Oh come on!

Trying to make yourself holier-than-others is very petty.

In your OP you didn't mention that you were 4 or 5 messages in to the conversation which you could easily have done, so this thread is becoming slippery to put it mildly.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

That's very poetic for a 'why does no one reply' thread

'trail goes cold'...bit detective drama too

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

That's very poetic for a 'why does no one reply' thread

Sometimes my idle musings come out like that...

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By *ezebelWoman
over a year ago

North of The Wall - youll need your vest

"Im still trying to work out who would uphold this new Law

Gimp"

Well volunteered Gimp

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

That's very poetic for a 'why does no one reply' thread

'trail goes cold'...bit detective drama too

.."

.....best call for Detective HottieBottie although she's undercover at the moment

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Delete your sent box and just enjoy it when you do get a reply

I've started doing this. Though I've also stopped sending messages lol"

That works too. Much less frustrating

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think it's a matter of respect just to say sorry not interested.

Anybody would be stupid if they thought that everyone wanted to sleep with them.

I have sent plenty of messages saying, you seem really nice, but you're not my type, I'm sorry.

Agree. I always reply. It takes seconds.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Im still trying to work out who would uphold this new Law

Gimp

Well volunteered Gimp

Pity the poor soul that would give me that much Power

Megalomaniac Gimp

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

welcome to the internet

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Cut and paste, 2 seconds, job done

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Cut and paste, 2 seconds, job done"

Cut and paste, 2 seconds, job done

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By *uessWhosBackAgainMan
over a year ago

London

"Cut and paste, 2 seconds, job done"

haven't you heard cut and paste messages can be spotted a mile away and never go down well apparently

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

"I know i will probably upset some people with this post but i don't see why it can't be upheld.

It can't take more than 20 seconds to write to someone and say, "I'm sorry, you're not my type".

Just plain rude otherwise!"

I'm sorry, you're not my type.

You're right. Much easier to do it this way than having to reply to every message from guys who couldn't be arsed to read my profile

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

Some people reply, some don't, If you accept this you will probably enjoy the site a lot more.

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