FabSwingers.com mobile

Already registered?
Login here

Back to forum list
Back to The Lounge

Transgender kids

Jump to newest
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

With Louis Theroux on BBC 2 now

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just watching. A disturbing issue

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Just watching. A disturbing issue"

Why is it disturbing?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Has this anything to do with that 'I am Jazz' girl who's made a bit of a media impact in America?

The way I see it, if these 'boys' (as society would often label them, I don't claim to know EXACTLY how a transgender identifies themselves) feel that they better identify with themselves as female in terms of their identities, interests, feelings and looks, then why not embrace that and begin their transition to becoming the person they feel they were meant to be?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'll be watching this with my eldest tomorrow, he was born a girl but lives as a boy, nothing disturbing about it at all apart from people's narrow minds toward it

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Wasn't it only just this time last year that a man with a beard won the Eurovision Song Contest and everyone (most anyways) referred to him as a she.

Probably too recent to be a trendsetting cause for the current program.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ere-for-my-convenienceWoman
over a year ago

West Midlands


"Just watching. A disturbing issue

Why is it disturbing?"

I agree with you

Why is it disturbing

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *uby0000Woman
over a year ago

hertfordshire

my nephew is a transgender hes had facial feminization ... due some more next month

has a fantastic figure and having the final op later this year

took guts to do it IMO ... certainly much happier

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It is the age of those involved that is disturbing. Of course it is a thought provoking issue - otherwise the programme wouldn't be made

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't find it disturbing at all, people seem to want to slap a label on everyone and everything, as long as people aren't hurting others then just let them do as they please!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A person shouldnt be defined by gender but by personality, if a female feels more male then so be it, they should be who they feel - if my son was to say down the line mum I want to be a girl, iv not felt right in myself for years and I've done my research and want to live as a female I would sit him down and go through their options. Its their life to live how they want. Nothing disturbing about it.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham


"

Wasn't it only just this time last year that a man with a beard won the Eurovision Song Contest and everyone (most anyways) referred to him as a she.

Probably too recent to be a trendsetting cause for the current program. "

There have been a few programmes about it. I watched a touching video on YouTube about a little while ago also.

I'm sure that brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie are also embracing their daughter's request to live as a boy....I may have got the wrong celebs though.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I love Louie.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"my nephew is a transgender hes had facial feminization ... due some more next month

has a fantastic figure and having the final op later this year

took guts to do it IMO ... certainly much happier"

It took real balls for my eldest to come to me and say how he felt, lucky for him I'm not a complete arsehole and I would rather have a happy son than a miserable daughter... I saw the scars of self harm his self loathing brought him, we really don't need anyone else hating too!

Just in the process of being referred to a specialist unit in London

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have a good friend that is and I salute her she looks amazing.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *-4pleasureCouple
over a year ago

Belfast


"Just watching. A disturbing issue

Why is it disturbing?

I agree with you

Why is it disturbing "

They didn't say it was disturbing. They said it was a disturbing issue. Giving pre pubescent children the power to elect to take puberty blockers and hormones raises serious questions amongst them about parental responsibility and the ability to make life choices as a pre teen.

To suggest the OP is being narrow minded is a knee jerk reaction and quite unfair.

Mr 2-4

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
Forum Mod

over a year ago


"my nephew is a transgender hes had facial feminization ... due some more next month

has a fantastic figure and having the final op later this year

took guts to do it IMO ... certainly much happier

It took real balls for my eldest to come to me and say how he felt, lucky for him I'm not a complete arsehole and I would rather have a happy son than a miserable daughter... I saw the scars of self harm his self loathing brought him, we really don't need anyone else hating too!

Just in the process of being referred to a specialist unit in London "

I wish you and him all the best x

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"my nephew is a transgender hes had facial feminization ... due some more next month

has a fantastic figure and having the final op later this year

took guts to do it IMO ... certainly much happier

It took real balls for my eldest to come to me and say how he felt, lucky for him I'm not a complete arsehole and I would rather have a happy son than a miserable daughter... I saw the scars of self harm his self loathing brought him, we really don't need anyone else hating too!

Just in the process of being referred to a specialist unit in London

I wish you and him all the best x"

Thankyou x

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Just watching. A disturbing issue

Why is it disturbing?

I agree with you

Why is it disturbing

They didn't say it was disturbing. They said it was a disturbing issue. Giving pre pubescent children the power to elect to take puberty blockers and hormones raises serious questions amongst them about parental responsibility and the ability to make life choices as a pre teen.

To suggest the OP is being narrow minded is a knee jerk reaction and quite unfair.

Mr 2-4"

Thank you. Though I'm not the OP! Have nothing against TGs; just the age is a concern. Would be interested to hear from those who are TG: would you have been happier to have had the option to make such a decision at such a young age? Not being judgemental; just curious

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"my nephew is a transgender hes had facial feminization ... due some more next month

has a fantastic figure and having the final op later this year

took guts to do it IMO ... certainly much happier

It took real balls for my eldest to come to me and say how he felt, lucky for him I'm not a complete arsehole and I would rather have a happy son than a miserable daughter... I saw the scars of self harm his self loathing brought him, we really don't need anyone else hating too!

Just in the process of being referred to a specialist unit in London "

If only all parents were this understanding and society more accepting!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'll be watching this with my eldest tomorrow, he was born a girl but lives as a boy, nothing disturbing about it at all apart from people's narrow minds toward it"
100% true narrow minded ppl

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"my nephew is a transgender hes had facial feminization ... due some more next month

has a fantastic figure and having the final op later this year

took guts to do it IMO ... certainly much happier

It took real balls for my eldest to come to me and say how he felt, lucky for him I'm not a complete arsehole and I would rather have a happy son than a miserable daughter... I saw the scars of self harm his self loathing brought him, we really don't need anyone else hating too!

Just in the process of being referred to a specialist unit in London "

Life is too short to be that unhappy in your own skin. Good luck to you both. I imagine it is not an easy journey but having your full support will make it so much easier. X

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

The episode is just blowing my mind!

Personally, I think Camille could be a tad young to be making these decisions and could do with some more parental input but who am I to judge - I'm not walking in their shoes!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Just watching. A disturbing issue

Why is it disturbing?

I agree with you

Why is it disturbing

They didn't say it was disturbing. They said it was a disturbing issue. Giving pre pubescent children the power to elect to take puberty blockers and hormones raises serious questions amongst them about parental responsibility and the ability to make life choices as a pre teen.

To suggest the OP is being narrow minded is a knee jerk reaction and quite unfair.

Mr 2-4

Thank you. Though I'm not the OP! Have nothing against TGs; just the age is a concern. Would be interested to hear from those who are TG: would you have been happier to have had the option to make such a decision at such a young age? Not being judgemental; just curious"

You don't think that the children are able to consult with their parents and doctors on the nature and possible complications of gender reassignment, to ensure that they are made best aware of the decision prior to deciding if it's the right one for them?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Id have a transgender gf with or without m or f parts

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Id have a transgender gf with or without m or f parts "

yep, that fits within the description "anybody".

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Just watching. A disturbing issue

Why is it disturbing?

I agree with you

Why is it disturbing "

im fascinated - also the families are very accepting

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *-4pleasureCouple
over a year ago

Belfast


"Just watching. A disturbing issue

Why is it disturbing?

I agree with you

Why is it disturbing

They didn't say it was disturbing. They said it was a disturbing issue. Giving pre pubescent children the power to elect to take puberty blockers and hormones raises serious questions amongst them about parental responsibility and the ability to make life choices as a pre teen.

To suggest the OP is being narrow minded is a knee jerk reaction and quite unfair.

Mr 2-4

Thank you. Though I'm not the OP! Have nothing against TGs; just the age is a concern. Would be interested to hear from those who are TG: would you have been happier to have had the option to make such a decision at such a young age? Not being judgemental; just curious

You don't think that the children are able to consult with their parents and doctors on the nature and possible complications of gender reassignment, to ensure that they are made best aware of the decision prior to deciding if it's the right one for them?"

A ten year old being given the deciding vote on a course of action that will determine the rest of their life ?? And you think that is ok?

I'm guessing you don't have children.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Just watching. A disturbing issue

Why is it disturbing?

I agree with you

Why is it disturbing

They didn't say it was disturbing. They said it was a disturbing issue. Giving pre pubescent children the power to elect to take puberty blockers and hormones raises serious questions amongst them about parental responsibility and the ability to make life choices as a pre teen.

To suggest the OP is being narrow minded is a knee jerk reaction and quite unfair.

Mr 2-4

Thank you. Though I'm not the OP! Have nothing against TGs; just the age is a concern. Would be interested to hear from those who are TG: would you have been happier to have had the option to make such a decision at such a young age? Not being judgemental; just curious

You don't think that the children are able to consult with their parents and doctors on the nature and possible complications of gender reassignment, to ensure that they are made best aware of the decision prior to deciding if it's the right one for them?"

I don't know if the youngest should be making such a huge decision at such a young age - do you?

I saw a documentary a few years back about someone who changed sex about four times. I'm concerned about the potential for similar when someone so young is making such a decision. But I'm not TG so don't know what age someone would feel confident about making such a decision, hence my question

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Even Tom Robinson, the "singer" decided he was no longer gay, albeit some time into his adulthood.

Makes the comments aimed at parents who allow circumcision (as abuse) pale into insignificance.

Circumcision : Bad

Ear piercing bad :

Sex change : Go on then.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Wow that black guy looks great.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"my nephew is a transgender hes had facial feminization ... due some more next month

has a fantastic figure and having the final op later this year

took guts to do it IMO ... certainly much happier

It took real balls for my eldest to come to me and say how he felt, lucky for him I'm not a complete arsehole and I would rather have a happy son than a miserable daughter... I saw the scars of self harm his self loathing brought him, we really don't need anyone else hating too!

Just in the process of being referred to a specialist unit in London Life is too short to be that unhappy in your own skin. Good luck to you both. I imagine it is not an easy journey but having your full support will make it so much easier. X"

Oh trust me it really isn't easy or straight forward. I can't speak for how this programme as I am tucked up in bed with the lickle one. What I do know from personal experience is it takes a lot of heart ache and tears and hours of sitting with psychiatrists and alike.

My child is 15 but the issue really appeared as soon as puberty hit.

Can you imagine being a boy trapped in a girls body, seeing yourself develop and hating yourself, it's heartbreaking.

He knows who he is and I am incredibly proud of him. There are adults who still don't know who they are and what they want.

I don't encourage or discourage I just embrace my child for who he is and sometimes he leaves me in awe xx

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Just watching. A disturbing issue

Why is it disturbing?

I agree with you

Why is it disturbing

They didn't say it was disturbing. They said it was a disturbing issue. Giving pre pubescent children the power to elect to take puberty blockers and hormones raises serious questions amongst them about parental responsibility and the ability to make life choices as a pre teen.

To suggest the OP is being narrow minded is a knee jerk reaction and quite unfair.

Mr 2-4

Thank you. Though I'm not the OP! Have nothing against TGs; just the age is a concern. Would be interested to hear from those who are TG: would you have been happier to have had the option to make such a decision at such a young age? Not being judgemental; just curious

You don't think that the children are able to consult with their parents and doctors on the nature and possible complications of gender reassignment, to ensure that they are made best aware of the decision prior to deciding if it's the right one for them?

A ten year old being given the deciding vote on a course of action that will determine the rest of their life ?? And you think that is ok?"

I believe that listening to my child, being the kind of dad they are able to come to and talk about these incredibly complicated issues of gender, personality and perception in the world, both by others and yourself, offering reassurance where I can, and if necessary taking the matter further to a dedicated specialist who can better advise both me and my child on the best course of action, is not only 'ok', but demonstrating the qualities that any good parent should have.


"I'm guessing you don't have children."

No, but I have nephews and nieces, and have had close contact with them for a long time - not quite the same as parenting, but I at least have some degree of experience in seeing the issues both parent and child go through, and am perfectly equipped to formulate some form of tested opinion on the matter.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The process isn't about saying hey I'm not happy in the skin I'm in and the doctor giving out tablets to start the process. There's psychologist referals, referals to gender reassignment and then a wait before anything begins while they make sure your serious about the repercussions. That's the procedure for adults and I can imagine its more strenuous for children.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"my nephew is a transgender hes had facial feminization ... due some more next month

has a fantastic figure and having the final op later this year

took guts to do it IMO ... certainly much happier

It took real balls for my eldest to come to me and say how he felt, lucky for him I'm not a complete arsehole and I would rather have a happy son than a miserable daughter... I saw the scars of self harm his self loathing brought him, we really don't need anyone else hating too!

Just in the process of being referred to a specialist unit in London Life is too short to be that unhappy in your own skin. Good luck to you both. I imagine it is not an easy journey but having your full support will make it so much easier. X

Oh trust me it really isn't easy or straight forward. I can't speak for how this programme as I am tucked up in bed with the lickle one. What I do know from personal experience is it takes a lot of heart ache and tears and hours of sitting with psychiatrists and alike.

My child is 15 but the issue really appeared as soon as puberty hit.

Can you imagine being a boy trapped in a girls body, seeing yourself develop and hating yourself, it's heartbreaking.

He knows who he is and I am incredibly proud of him. There are adults who still don't know who they are and what they want.

I don't encourage or discourage I just embrace my child for who he is and sometimes he leaves me in awe xx"

You must have a very close bond. He sounds like a very brave lad. I sincerely wish you both all the best. X

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *-4pleasureCouple
over a year ago

Belfast


"Just watching. A disturbing issue

Why is it disturbing?

I agree with you

Why is it disturbing

They didn't say it was disturbing. They said it was a disturbing issue. Giving pre pubescent children the power to elect to take puberty blockers and hormones raises serious questions amongst them about parental responsibility and the ability to make life choices as a pre teen.

To suggest the OP is being narrow minded is a knee jerk reaction and quite unfair.

Mr 2-4

Thank you. Though I'm not the OP! Have nothing against TGs; just the age is a concern. Would be interested to hear from those who are TG: would you have been happier to have had the option to make such a decision at such a young age? Not being judgemental; just curious

You don't think that the children are able to consult with their parents and doctors on the nature and possible complications of gender reassignment, to ensure that they are made best aware of the decision prior to deciding if it's the right one for them?

A ten year old being given the deciding vote on a course of action that will determine the rest of their life ?? And you think that is ok?

I believe that listening to my child, being the kind of dad they are able to come to and talk about these incredibly complicated issues of gender, personality and perception in the world, both by others and yourself, offering reassurance where I can, and if necessary taking the matter further to a dedicated specialist who can better advise both me and my child on the best course of action, is not only 'ok', but demonstrating the qualities that any good parent should have.

I'm guessing you don't have children.

No, but I have nephews and nieces, and have had close contact with them for a long time - not quite the same as parenting, but I at least have some degree of experience in seeing the issues both parent and child go through, and am perfectly equipped to formulate some form of tested opinion on the matter."

No need for a straw man argument.

Thanks for confirming that you don't have children.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Just watching. A disturbing issue

Why is it disturbing?

I agree with you

Why is it disturbing

They didn't say it was disturbing. They said it was a disturbing issue. Giving pre pubescent children the power to elect to take puberty blockers and hormones raises serious questions amongst them about parental responsibility and the ability to make life choices as a pre teen.

To suggest the OP is being narrow minded is a knee jerk reaction and quite unfair.

Mr 2-4

Thank you. Though I'm not the OP! Have nothing against TGs; just the age is a concern. Would be interested to hear from those who are TG: would you have been happier to have had the option to make such a decision at such a young age? Not being judgemental; just curious

You don't think that the children are able to consult with their parents and doctors on the nature and possible complications of gender reassignment, to ensure that they are made best aware of the decision prior to deciding if it's the right one for them?

A ten year old being given the deciding vote on a course of action that will determine the rest of their life ?? And you think that is ok?

I believe that listening to my child, being the kind of dad they are able to come to and talk about these incredibly complicated issues of gender, personality and perception in the world, both by others and yourself, offering reassurance where I can, and if necessary taking the matter further to a dedicated specialist who can better advise both me and my child on the best course of action, is not only 'ok', but demonstrating the qualities that any good parent should have.

I'm guessing you don't have children.

No, but I have nephews and nieces, and have had close contact with them for a long time - not quite the same as parenting, but I at least have some degree of experience in seeing the issues both parent and child go through, and am perfectly equipped to formulate some form of tested opinion on the matter.

No need for a straw man argument."

I was simply addressing your assertion with a relevant counterpoint, but please, feel free to evade behind a non-applicable cliché if you don't feel capable of a meaningful response.


"Thanks for confirming that you don't have children."

And likewise, thankyou for giving me the chance to demonstrate my potential as a good father.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *osieWoman
over a year ago

Wembley


"Just watching. A disturbing issue"

What is 'disturbing' about this?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Just watching. A disturbing issue

What is 'disturbing' about this?"

How old is the child he's talking to now? I'm concerned about a child that young making such a decision - as has been discussed above

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Nature v Nurture

Fight!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *-4pleasureCouple
over a year ago

Belfast


"Just watching. A disturbing issue

Why is it disturbing?

I agree with you

Why is it disturbing

They didn't say it was disturbing. They said it was a disturbing issue. Giving pre pubescent children the power to elect to take puberty blockers and hormones raises serious questions amongst them about parental responsibility and the ability to make life choices as a pre teen.

To suggest the OP is being narrow minded is a knee jerk reaction and quite unfair.

Mr 2-4

Thank you. Though I'm not the OP! Have nothing against TGs; just the age is a concern. Would be interested to hear from those who are TG: would you have been happier to have had the option to make such a decision at such a young age? Not being judgemental; just curious

You don't think that the children are able to consult with their parents and doctors on the nature and possible complications of gender reassignment, to ensure that they are made best aware of the decision prior to deciding if it's the right one for them?

A ten year old being given the deciding vote on a course of action that will determine the rest of their life ?? And you think that is ok?

I believe that listening to my child, being the kind of dad they are able to come to and talk about these incredibly complicated issues of gender, personality and perception in the world, both by others and yourself, offering reassurance where I can, and if necessary taking the matter further to a dedicated specialist who can better advise both me and my child on the best course of action, is not only 'ok', but demonstrating the qualities that any good parent should have.

I'm guessing you don't have children.

No, but I have nephews and nieces, and have had close contact with them for a long time - not quite the same as parenting, but I at least have some degree of experience in seeing the issues both parent and child go through, and am perfectly equipped to formulate some form of tested opinion on the matter.

No need for a straw man argument.

I was simply addressing your assertion with a relevant counterpoint, but please, feel free to evade behind a non-applicable cliché if you don't feel capable of a meaningful response.

Thanks for confirming that you don't have children.

And likewise, thankyou for giving me the chance to demonstrate my potential as a good father."

You digressed into commenting upon being a listening parent when no one suggested they would do otherwise - hence you reverted to a straw man argument.

If you believe that bring a good father consists of allowing major surgery and the introduction of prodigious amounts of hormones to a pre teen you still have quite a journey to make before you consider having children.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

A single hour didn't really do that justice. Would much rather have had last week's issue running a single week and this two.

Not always the case, I'm sure, but some of those parents sounded more confused than their offspring!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

Nature v Nurture

Fight!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

What a fucking stupid comment to make

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *innamon!Woman
over a year ago

no matter

Bless them.. my son grew up dressing up in stuff from a very early age.. at home and at playschool . They had no idea how to handle it 35 years ago. He had a very hard time at school with bullying.

He was actually gay tho not transgender. Still loves dressng up though

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"A single hour didn't really do that justice. Would much rather have had last week's issue running a single week and this two.

Not always the case, I'm sure, but some of those parents sounded more confused than their profile offspring! "

So it was a load of crap then? Might give it a miss after all

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It seems such an adult decision to make: I think there is so much pressure on children being robbed of their childhood already. I'd be interested to know at what age gender reassignment is allowed in Britain. The trouble with America is that you flash the cash and doctors will say and do anything!

Is it wrong to want a child not to have to make such a decision?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *osieWoman
over a year ago

Wembley


"Just watching. A disturbing issue

What is 'disturbing' about this?

How old is the child he's talking to now? I'm concerned about a child that young making such a decision - as has been discussed above"

My niece has always been boyish (not just a tomboy). We let him do as he pleased to express the gender identity which he felt was appropriate. He now has a girlfriend (and no, not in the Lesbian sense) and they are happy

The decision can only be made by the individual. Who else could possibly know what they are feeling

The rest of us here should be supportive and guide them as we would any other child born with a condition which will restrict their development if left alone. Intervention (negative or positive) by those who feel they know better will cause harm

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Id have a transgender gf with or without m or f parts

yep, that fits within the description "anybody"."

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
Forum Mod

over a year ago


"

Nature v Nurture

Fight!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Have you ever seen the documentary that I think is called nature v nurture its heartbreaking

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *uby0000Woman
over a year ago

hertfordshire

my nephew was 30 when he had his first surgery abroad

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"A single hour didn't really do that justice. Would much rather have had last week's issue running a single week and this two.

Not always the case, I'm sure, but some of those parents sounded more confused than their profile offspring!

So it was a load of crap then? Might give it a miss after all "

Was a bit sensationalist, I thought, but acted as a decent introduction into the issue I suppose. Would like to hear your views on it tomorrow as you may think differently x

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've missed this. Will be watching on demand tomorrow.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Just watching. A disturbing issue

Why is it disturbing?

I agree with you

Why is it disturbing

They didn't say it was disturbing. They said it was a disturbing issue. Giving pre pubescent children the power to elect to take puberty blockers and hormones raises serious questions amongst them about parental responsibility and the ability to make life choices as a pre teen.

To suggest the OP is being narrow minded is a knee jerk reaction and quite unfair.

Mr 2-4

Thank you. Though I'm not the OP! Have nothing against TGs; just the age is a concern. Would be interested to hear from those who are TG: would you have been happier to have had the option to make such a decision at such a young age? Not being judgemental; just curious

You don't think that the children are able to consult with their parents and doctors on the nature and possible complications of gender reassignment, to ensure that they are made best aware of the decision prior to deciding if it's the right one for them?

A ten year old being given the deciding vote on a course of action that will determine the rest of their life ?? And you think that is ok?

I believe that listening to my child, being the kind of dad they are able to come to and talk about these incredibly complicated issues of gender, personality and perception in the world, both by others and yourself, offering reassurance where I can, and if necessary taking the matter further to a dedicated specialist who can better advise both me and my child on the best course of action, is not only 'ok', but demonstrating the qualities that any good parent should have.

I'm guessing you don't have children.

No, but I have nephews and nieces, and have had close contact with them for a long time - not quite the same as parenting, but I at least have some degree of experience in seeing the issues both parent and child go through, and am perfectly equipped to formulate some form of tested opinion on the matter.

No need for a straw man argument.

I was simply addressing your assertion with a relevant counterpoint, but please, feel free to evade behind a non-applicable cliché if you don't feel capable of a meaningful response.

Thanks for confirming that you don't have children.

And likewise, thankyou for giving me the chance to demonstrate my potential as a good father.

You digressed into commenting upon being a listening parent when no one suggested they would do otherwise - hence you reverted to a straw man argument."

Allow me to re-quote you


"A ten year old being given the deciding vote on a course of action that will determine the rest of their life ?? And you think that is ok?"

You strongly implied that allowing the child a say in being able to decide their own gender was somehow wrong, hence why my 'listening parent' response was quite relevant - so again I'll ask you, do you actually want to attempt some form of valid counter argument to that, or would you like to try and play your failed 'straw man' cop out again?


"

If you believe that bring a good father consists of allowing major surgery and the introduction of prodigious amounts of hormones to a pre teen you still have quite a journey to make before you consider having children."

Ah now you see lol, THIS is what a 'straw man' argument is, as you conveniently left out my rather long worded statement about seeking out further advice from relevant specialists, as of course, that would have severely damaged the point you were trying to make.

It seems to me that you simply don't agree with gender reassignment.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It seems such an adult decision to make: I think there is so much pressure on children being robbed of their childhood already. I'd be interested to know at what age gender reassignment is allowed in Britain. The trouble with America is that you flash the cash and doctors will say and do anything!

Is it wrong to want a child not to have to make such a decision?"

I completely agree that kids aren't allowed to be kids anymore, luckily for me mine have never felt the need to fit the mould (sp) and I encourage them to have fun and enjoy their childhoods, god only knows you're a long time grown up!

I'm not sure at what age in the UK gender realignment is allowed as such but I know that once you have discussed things at length....long exhaustive lengths with psychiatrists that they suggest you live in the way you wish to.

My eldest has been referred to the specialist clinic with the possible sight of having hormone blockers if again it is agreed with the specialists that that is what he wants and actually genuinely needs rather than it being emotions caused by something else.

Then...long term future gender realignment, but that isn't something that is even near where we are at the moment as it's a very long and vetted process and rightly so.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"It seems such an adult decision to make: I think there is so much pressure on children being robbed of their childhood already. I'd be interested to know at what age gender reassignment is allowed in Britain. The trouble with America is that you flash the cash and doctors will say and do anything!

Is it wrong to want a child not to have to make such a decision?"

Pretty sure that healthcare for under 18's is free.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"A single hour didn't really do that justice. Would much rather have had last week's issue running a single week and this two.

Not always the case, I'm sure, but some of those parents sounded more confused than their profile offspring!

So it was a load of crap then? Might give it a miss after all

Was a bit sensationalist, I thought, but acted as a decent introduction into the issue I suppose. Would like to hear your views on it tomorrow as you may think differently x"

I shall watch and definitely let you know x

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *-4pleasureCouple
over a year ago

Belfast

To avoid the risk of boring people by requoting - yes you are correct. I believe allowing a pre teen child the pivotal vote in having major surgeries and injecting prodigious amounts of hormones is wrong.

No I have no issues with gender reassignment and, when mature enough, would fully support any of my children should they wish to embark on such a journey.

Your attempt to portray yourself as more of a human being than those with genuine concerns is beginning to be tiresome to me so I guess we shall agree to disagree.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"On a positive note, their male side will make them good drivers while still being able to hoover and cook

Being German, I can drive the socks off you on an autobahn

Is that some sort of farm building that turns into a robot?"

Loling lots

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Right, your tone sounds a lot more reasonable so I shall pay you the same courtesy, and hopefully we can resolve this disagreement diplomatically.


"To avoid the risk of boring people by requoting - yes you are correct. I believe allowing a pre teen child the pivotal vote in having major surgeries and injecting prodigious amounts of hormones is wrong."

If you are indeed saying 'pivotal/most important' vote then yes I'd agree with you that is wrong, but understand that my desire as a parent would simply be to do what I can to ensure my child a healthy and happy future, and in order to do this, I would want to make sure that myself, my partner, my child and most certainly a well researched and qualified medical staff had thoroughly discussed the issue and any possible complications, hopefully the additional knowledge making the reaching of a final decision easier for all of us.

But still, if you don't feel you'd be comfortable in considering such a possibility, then that's your right as a parent and I won't argue with it.


"No I have no issues with gender reassignment and, when mature enough, would fully support any of my children should they wish to embark on such a journey."

Then I have nothing more to say on this.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *innamon!Woman
over a year ago

no matter

I actually think the child knows at a young age that they are not right.. it is better and easier to allow transition early before puberty.

Unless you have had a child that was 'different' it is difficult to understand.

I am glad some people listen to their young children and allow them the choice instead of pushing them to dress and behave as the gender they were born.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

I didn't see this tonight but will catch up at some point.

Radio 4 had a brilliant drama a few months ago called Just a Girl. It's well worth listening to.

I met a really lovely young man a couple of years ago who had been thrown out by his parents for transitioning from female to male. He lost everything at 16 but described gaining his life, identity and peace by making the decision.

I have worked with older trans people who had to wait until their 40s, 50s and 60s when they knew from a very young age they were in the wrong gender identity.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

For me the 'nature vs nurture' comment is perhaps more 'nature vs culture/environment/society'.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod

over a year ago

O o O oo

I didn't see the programme but at the moment I am finishing off a book I started a while back and forgot about which is of a true story of a woman on another site who was born a man. She knew he shouldn't be a man at the age of 7, so it was early on that he realised.

The jury is still out for me yet as to whether a young child should be able to make the decision of hormones before puberty to help a sex change even though by the sounds of it it is the easier way.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It is a super difficult decision for children to make. Especially with the view of gender as a societal construct, a child has to learn those constructs before deciding one side of the binary or ditching the binary completely.

That's why puberty blockers are amazing. Giving the child precious time to mature and find their identity without the stress of their body developing into something they don't want.

This is also why it's so sad that it's really difficult just to get onto puberty blockers.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When i see things like this.

The media has a LOT to answer for.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk

It's a big decision to make but I think only an individual person knows how they feel and that it's entirely possible to know you are in the wrong body from a young age.

I think starting to transition early can be much easier than transitioning later and children should be given the necessary support and help to decide the best course of action.

I wouldn't dismiss a child as being too young to know who they are. In fact, before they become too confused and influenced by societal expectations, peer pressure and the like may be the best time for them to decide who they really are.

Children often have a much clearer, purer sense of self before they're influenced by society, the media and everything they learn as they get older.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I am a post-op male to female and wish i had the information when i was younger! but in the 80`s it wasn`t available or to be honest accepted, so for me transitioning in my 30`s has come at a cost both mentally and financially as i have recently had the op and now trying to re-build my life from scratch and yes my choice or was it really? i knew i couldn`t live another day trapped. x

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *tandingtallMan
over a year ago

york

My cousin has just announced a little while ago at 16 now, he wants to be called Emma in future, I respect his decision, doesn't change her as a person at all and if it makes her happy then that's the most important thing is. The best thing is her family have also accepted the decision too and are there for support......some people are not so lucky

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I am a post-op male to female and wish i had the information when i was younger! "

I just looked.

Fucking hell. I wouldn't have guessed. ..

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I am a post-op male to female and wish i had the information when i was younger!

I just looked.

Fucking hell. I wouldn't have guessed. .."

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk


"I am a post-op male to female and wish i had the information when i was younger! but in the 80`s it wasn`t available or to be honest accepted, so for me transitioning in my 30`s has come at a cost both mentally and financially as i have recently had the op and now trying to re-build my life from scratch and yes my choice or was it really? i knew i couldn`t live another day trapped. x"

I don't see how anyone in your situation has much choice. Either way it's going to be difficult. I hope you do well with rebuilding your life and your confidence. I wish you the very best of luck.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound


"I am a post-op male to female and wish i had the information when i was younger! but in the 80`s it wasn`t available or to be honest accepted, so for me transitioning in my 30`s has come at a cost both mentally and financially as i have recently had the op and now trying to re-build my life from scratch and yes my choice or was it really? i knew i couldn`t live another day trapped. x"

Good luck on your journey.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't see how anyone in your situation has much choice. Either way it's going to be difficult. I hope you do well with rebuilding your life and your confidence. I wish you the very best of luck.

Thankyou the pain trans people will go through mentally makes the actual op a walk in the park to be honest! i have top respect for the next generation having to go through this and hope one day i can offer help/advice maybe support. Xx

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *andy6677Man
over a year ago

crewe

Theres nothing disturbing about it at all transgender people have a hard time for just becoming the gender they were meant to be born.

As they are all heroes especially those that manage to go through full srs and become the women (or men) they want to be.

I have met a few transgender people over the years and you couldnt ask to meet more decent caring folks in my opinon. If i had kids and one of them thought they were the wrong gender i would support them all the way.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I am a post-op male to female and wish i had the information when i was younger! but in the 80`s it wasn`t available or to be honest accepted, so for me transitioning in my 30`s has come at a cost both mentally and financially as i have recently had the op and now trying to re-build my life from scratch and yes my choice or was it really? i knew i couldn`t live another day trapped. x"

And that's why I feel strongly in favour of exploring the subject matter early in a childs life if they ever show signs of being 'trapped' in the same way. Congratulations in your personal quest, I hope it's working out for you and giving you the personal clarity and reassurance that you feel you'd been denied for so long, I wouldn't want any child of mine to ever have to go through the same, I'd want them to feel confident and happy in themselves throughout their lives - after all, how can you possibly get to where you want to go, without knowing where or even who you are?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Feel like I'm handling dynamite with this question, but here goes.

The lady above said her daughter felt she was at heart a boy, so changed . + good luck with that.

But generally the kind of language used is stuff like 'happy in their own skin' etc etc.

So, that's was my prep, put the seatbelt on + buckle up peeps coz I feel it might get rocky ahead.

Do those following this path , actually have deep rooted psych issues?

Is the sexuality just a symptom of deeper probs?

+ actually, they will continue to be unhappy post op /journey call it what you want, coz sexuality is not the problem.

It's just a vehicle for other issues?

I've noticed a few ts's I've spoken to, each one had serious issues

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

And that's why I feel strongly in favour of exploring the subject matter early in a childs life if they ever show signs of being 'trapped' in the same way. Congratulations in your personal quest, I hope it's working out for you and giving you the personal clarity and reassurance that you feel you'd been denied for so long, I wouldn't want any child of mine to ever have to go through the same, I'd want them to feel confident and happy in themselves throughout their lives - after all, how can you possibly get to where you want to go, without knowing where or even who you are?

Yes that`s spot on and iv`e seen some news that they are going to try to bring the "lgbt" topics into schools which is awsome. iv`e lost all my confidence along with job/car/money/ some family and all friends so yes start like i`m a teenager again hehe (not the sleeping in hedges) Xx

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Feel like I'm handling dynamite with this question, but here goes.

The lady above said her daughter felt she was at heart a boy, so changed . + good luck with that.

But generally the kind of language used is stuff like 'happy in their own skin' etc etc.

So, that's was my prep, put the seatbelt on + buckle up peeps coz I feel it might get rocky ahead.

Do those following this path , actually have deep rooted psych issues?

Is the sexuality just a symptom of deeper probs?

+ actually, they will continue to be unhappy post op /journey call it what you want, coz sexuality is not the problem.

It's just a vehicle for other issues?

I've noticed a few ts's I've spoken to, each one had serious issues

"

Well you are kind of right! i have issues lol but there was only two ways to go! one was 6ft under the other to live it out and have issues

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central


"I'll be watching this with my eldest tomorrow, he was born a girl but lives as a boy, nothing disturbing about it at all apart from people's narrow minds toward it"

Exactly. It wasn't too bad of a show. It's good to see things getting a bit more progressive.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound


"And that's why I feel strongly in favour of exploring the subject matter early in a childs life if they ever show signs of being 'trapped' in the same way. Congratulations in your personal quest, I hope it's working out for you and giving you the personal clarity and reassurance that you feel you'd been denied for so long, I wouldn't want any child of mine to ever have to go through the same, I'd want them to feel confident and happy in themselves throughout their lives - after all, how can you possibly get to where you want to go, without knowing where or even who you are?

Yes that`s spot on and iv`e seen some news that they are going to try to bring the "lgbt" topics into schools which is awsome. iv`e lost all my confidence along with job/car/money/ some family and all friends so yes start like i`m a teenager again hehe (not the sleeping in hedges) Xx"

LGBT has and is discussed in the schools the young people I know attend. The young people I know are familiar with families of all sorts (two mothers, two fathers, donation etc.) so haven't found any of this difficult to discuss. They have found it strange that other young people in their classes find it "disturbing" and use the term gay as an insult. Education and familiarity should help in the long run.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *inaTitzTV/TS
over a year ago

Titz Towers, North Notts

I missed it, but it does sound as if it wasn't a circus show, which is nice.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Daft, or maybe sensible, question :

Am i correct in thinking this is not an hereditary issue?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod

over a year ago

O o O oo

Angel if you click on reply and quote we can see what you are quoting better...welcome to the forum by the way

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *L RogueMan
over a year ago

London


"Feel like I'm handling dynamite with this question, but here goes.

The lady above said her daughter felt she was at heart a boy, so changed . + good luck with that.

But generally the kind of language used is stuff like 'happy in their own skin' etc etc.

So, that's was my prep, put the seatbelt on + buckle up peeps coz I feel it might get rocky ahead.

Do those following this path , actually have deep rooted psych issues?

Is the sexuality just a symptom of deeper probs?

+ actually, they will continue to be unhappy post op /journey call it what you want, coz sexuality is not the problem.

It's just a vehicle for other issues?

I've noticed a few ts's I've spoken to, each one had serious issues

Well you are kind of right! i have issues lol but there was only two ways to go! one was 6ft under the other to live it out and have issues "

I'm glad you asked the questions and I'm glad you answered them.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Angel if you click on reply and quote we can see what you are quoting better...welcome to the forum by the way "
sorry new on forums hehe Xx

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Giving children hormone blockers is a way of hitting a pause button, puberty is permanent and surgery after then is always a compromise to an extent, the blockers just allow more time to explore what is right for the individual before nature and time closes some doors for good.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *innamon!Woman
over a year ago

no matter

Great thread ,

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Thank you. Though I'm not the OP! Have nothing against TGs; just the age is a concern. Would be interested to hear from those who are TG: would you have been happier to have had the option to make such a decision at such a young age? Not being judgemental; just curious"

I used to pass as male as a child and as a teenager. My parents hated it. I would wear boys clothes and have masculine haircuts.

Then I grew breasts and hips and became very 'feminine'. I can still pass if I spend time strapping my breasts down and using makeup to make me look male.

I wish I'd had the option to simply stay non-feminine. It would have solved many problems in my life. The medical knowledge available now is incredible and buys children time in order to make their minds up. That's what the puberty blockers do - they buy time.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ophiasChoiceWoman
over a year ago

ystrad mynach

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

Do those following this path , actually have deep rooted psych issues?

Is the sexuality just a symptom of deeper probs?

+ actually, they will continue to be unhappy post op /journey call it what you want, coz sexuality is not the problem.

It's just a vehicle for other issues?

"

I've had counselling related to my gender. I've also opted to study gender at university in order to understand myself better.

I've come to the conclusion that society forces a paradigm of bigender (male/female) upon everyone and we have to fit inside that. There are other ways to look at gender - there are other paradigms - but they are not dominant so those of us who do not fit have to try our best to fit.

Sexuality is not the same as gender. Sexuality is the kind of person you find attractive. Gender is what we call 'male or female'. So no, sexuality isn't the problem here - societies idea of gender is the problem.

I don't have 'serious issues' relating to my inability to fit into the way that society sees gender. The only 'serious' issue I have is knowing if I should tick 'male' or 'female' on a form when actually I am 'other'. I dislike my body - of course that is true - but that goes for me when I change it so I know it's not a problem that will carry on. If I bind my breasts down for example, I am happier with my body. If I wear a prosthetic penis, I am happier.

People who fit outside the bigender paradigm can have serious mental health issues too, because mental health is far from simple. One thing can trigger others. But a professional will be able to attempt to determine the nature of each problem. (For example I have PTSD - it's not related to my gender paradigm problems at all though, it's related to a car accident).

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

Daft, or maybe sensible, question :

Am i correct in thinking this is not an hereditary issue? "

No. being transgender/genderqueer not hereditary. You can't 'catch' it either.

It's simply a case of not being able to conform to societies strict definitions of gender.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk


"

Do those following this path , actually have deep rooted psych issues?

Is the sexuality just a symptom of deeper probs?

+ actually, they will continue to be unhappy post op /journey call it what you want, coz sexuality is not the problem.

It's just a vehicle for other issues?

I've had counselling related to my gender. I've also opted to study gender at university in order to understand myself better.

I've come to the conclusion that society forces a paradigm of bigender (male/female) upon everyone and we have to fit inside that. There are other ways to look at gender - there are other paradigms - but they are not dominant so those of us who do not fit have to try our best to fit.

Sexuality is not the same as gender. Sexuality is the kind of person you find attractive. Gender is what we call 'male or female'. So no, sexuality isn't the problem here - societies idea of gender is the problem.

I don't have 'serious issues' relating to my inability to fit into the way that society sees gender. The only 'serious' issue I have is knowing if I should tick 'male' or 'female' on a form when actually I am 'other'. I dislike my body - of course that is true - but that goes for me when I change it so I know it's not a problem that will carry on. If I bind my breasts down for example, I am happier with my body. If I wear a prosthetic penis, I am happier.

People who fit outside the bigender paradigm can have serious mental health issues too, because mental health is far from simple. One thing can trigger others. But a professional will be able to attempt to determine the nature of each problem. (For example I have PTSD - it's not related to my gender paradigm problems at all though, it's related to a car accident)."

Where do you sit on the subject of sex and gender being different things. Sex being the bits you have, (making you genetically male, female or intersex) and gender being a spectrum and something that is not necessarily fixed for some people?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

Where do you sit on the subject of sex and gender being different things. Sex being the bits you have, (making you genetically male, female or intersex) and gender being a spectrum and something that is not necessarily fixed for some people?"

You say 'sex' like you're confident it's just two options. Have you researched intersexuality? And the fact that XX and XY aren't the only two options?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk


"

Where do you sit on the subject of sex and gender being different things. Sex being the bits you have, (making you genetically male, female or intersex) and gender being a spectrum and something that is not necessarily fixed for some people?

You say 'sex' like you're confident it's just two options. Have you researched intersexuality? And the fact that XX and XY aren't the only two options?"

Yes, which is why I mentioned intersex. I didn't state just two options.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"On a positive note, their male side will make them good drivers while still being able to hoover and cook

Being German, I can drive the socks off you on an autobahn

Is that some sort of farm building that turns into a robot?

Loling lots

Ok, it was a good one. I didn't see that coming"

That is pretty funny actually because a male family member stated that after the op i will no longer be able to drive properly or reverse a car into spaces he got a slapped face

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Read up online about this and found that the NHS usually uses counselling first and foremost in its approach, sometimes using blockers but rarely surgery in children, as there is a concern about using this, for obvious reasons, especially with young, prepubescent children. Further, I read a piece from an online magazine that quoted a couple of experts in the field who expressed concerns about the ease with which children can obtain surgery in the US - one of them stating that three out of four children who expressed concerns about this issue when young were happy with their bodies and sex after leaving high school. The other expressed concerns about how parents could want to rush into the procedure, hoping everything would be okay after doing so.

Most doctors, in most countries, are wary of carrying out surgery on young children. I can only assume that medical opinion has some scientific grounding behind it rather than anything to do with reasons of hate or fear

I expressed concerns last night about the age of the children involved. What I have read online just vindicates my feelings: it is a disturbing issue. My feeling was then, as it is now, that we should not be pushing children into making such a decision at such a young age.

I asked a couple of questions last night for clarification: I thank those who answered. While those who are TG are happy with the change and wish it had happened sooner, there is an uncomfortable truth to face - what about those who aren't a hundred per cent sure? If the expert I read was right in saying three out of four change their minds over time, then clearly we need to allow them to take their time reaching such a decision.

Surely, ultimately, what we ought to aim for is not pushing kids into pigeon holes - boy with short hair cut, playing with action man, kicking a football around or girl, with long hair, pretty dress, playing with My Pony - but simply allow them to be children? When we can allow them to effectively be asexual at a young age, isn't this a good thing? Then they can have their innocence back, which can't be a bad thing

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *andy6677Man
over a year ago

crewe


"On a positive note, their male side will make them good drivers while still being able to hoover and cook

Being German, I can drive the socks off you on an autobahn

Is that some sort of farm building that turns into a robot?

Loling lots

Ok, it was a good one. I didn't see that coming

That is pretty funny actually because a male family member stated that after the op i will no longer be able to drive properly or reverse a car into spaces he got a slapped face "

Too right such sexist views should of died out long ago

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"my nephew is a transgender hes had facial feminization ... due some more next month

has a fantastic figure and having the final op later this year

took guts to do it IMO ... certainly much happier

It took real balls for my eldest to come to me and say how he felt, lucky for him I'm not a complete arsehole and I would rather have a happy son than a miserable daughter... I saw the scars of self harm his self loathing brought him, we really don't need anyone else hating too!

Just in the process of being referred to a specialist unit in London

I wish you and him all the best x

Thankyou x"

So do I. It shows that we humans can be human at times and do the right thing. You are an excellent parent by the way!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

There is a programme on BBC2 at 9.15 this morning talking to two young British trans girls.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 07/04/15 08:59:46]

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

The interviews with the two trans girls and their parents is very sympathetic. It's worth watching if only to hear the message that children should have some agency in their lives.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ikki ShooterTV/TS
over a year ago

Epsom


"I'll be watching this with my eldest tomorrow, he was born a girl but lives as a boy, nothing disturbing about it at all apart from people's narrow minds toward it"

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ikki ShooterTV/TS
over a year ago

Epsom


"Id have a transgender gf with or without m or f parts

yep, that fits within the description "anybody"."

Play nice children

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I used the word disturbing and this has caused a lot of judgemental nonsense, as usual on here. The idea of a child as young as five deciding to be transgender, because of the issue of major, life changing surgery is disturbing to me: not being TG. I find it disturbing when I see a young child with piercings or tattoos! I will not be made to feel like that is the wrong way to feel

As I posted above - and which has been completely ignored - what about children who change their minds back? An expert in the field said three quarters do. If that is true then it is a good job caution is exercised on this matter. Early surgery might be right for some: is it right for all though?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *osieWoman
over a year ago

Wembley


"I used the word disturbing and this has caused a lot of judgemental nonsense, as usual on here. The idea of a child as young as five deciding to be transgender, because of the issue of major, life changing surgery is disturbing to me: not being TG. I find it disturbing when I see a young child with piercings or tattoos! I will not be made to feel like that is the wrong way to feel

As I posted above - and which has been completely ignored - what about children who change their minds back? An expert in the field said three quarters do. If that is true then it is a good job caution is exercised on this matter. Early surgery might be right for some: is it right for all though?"

I think you have made a very valid point. I misunderstood your comment about this being a "disturbing issue"

There are many other aspects of a child's life which need to be catered for long before surgery becomes an option

In my 'neice's' case, he is now almost 20 and the surgery on offer is a poor choice. And in any case, he does not feel the need for any such thing. He is already living his life the way he feels is right for him

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I used the word disturbing and this has caused a lot of judgemental nonsense, as usual on here. The idea of a child as young as five deciding to be transgender, because of the issue of major, life changing surgery is disturbing to me: not being TG. I find it disturbing when I see a young child with piercings or tattoos! I will not be made to feel like that is the wrong way to feel

As I posted above - and which has been completely ignored - what about children who change their minds back? An expert in the field said three quarters do. If that is true then it is a good job caution is exercised on this matter. Early surgery might be right for some: is it right for all though?

I think you have made a very valid point. I misunderstood your comment about this being a "disturbing issue"

There are many other aspects of a child's life which need to be catered for long before surgery becomes an option

In my 'neice's' case, he is now almost 20 and the surgery on offer is a poor choice. And in any case, he does not feel the need for any such thing. He is already living his life the way he feels is right for him"

I hope it works out for him

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound


"I used the word disturbing and this has caused a lot of judgemental nonsense, as usual on here. The idea of a child as young as five deciding to be transgender, because of the issue of major, life changing surgery is disturbing to me: not being TG. I find it disturbing when I see a young child with piercings or tattoos! I will not be made to feel like that is the wrong way to feel

As I posted above - and which has been completely ignored - what about children who change their minds back? An expert in the field said three quarters do. If that is true then it is a good job caution is exercised on this matter. Early surgery might be right for some: is it right for all though?"

This is the reason I would support hormone blockers for a short while. It buys them time to mature and make a decision.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

This BBC2 programme is now talking to older trans people.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"This BBC2 programme is now talking to older trans people.

"

Saw it. Same two points again: those as adults/young adults who have gone through the process wish it had been done earlier. Dutch studies show early interventions (for wont of a better word) are a good idea. The child psychiatrist confirmed, however, that three quarters 'revert back' (I think that was the term used). So how best to handle? Very tricky, in my view

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central


"This BBC2 programme is now talking to older trans people.

"

It's a pity that I'm not home to watch.

There's no one right solution for everyone apart from society becoming more trans friendly, which supports people wherever they're at with transitioning or questioning.

It's sad there's some hassle on fab for those alleged to have had some interest in trans people.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *osieWoman
over a year ago

Wembley


"This BBC2 programme is now talking to older trans people.

Saw it. Same two points again: those as adults/young adults who have gone through the process wish it had been done earlier. Dutch studies show early interventions (for wont of a better word) are a good idea. The child psychiatrist confirmed, however, that three quarters 'revert back' (I think that was the term used). So how best to handle? Very tricky, in my view"

I think the best way this is handled is between the children and the professionals

Whilst opinions on forums such as these are great to pass the time, I for one, would completely disregard statements here from people who have "worked with trans people", "worked with HIV patients" etc and instead make an appointment with a qualified, registered and practicing professional if I needed guidance on such important matters

Having said that, there is no harm in discussing the subject as long as people do not try and give the false impression on this (or on any other thread on any other important subject) that they are somehow 'professionals-by-proxy'

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *arry247Couple
over a year ago

Wakefield


"Just watching. A disturbing issue

What is 'disturbing' about this?"

There is a lot about the subject that is very disturbing.

From simple facts that many transgender people experience a period of identity development at a time they are still developing there own feelings of gender orientation.

Through the fact that the term transgender covers transgenderists, transsexuals & cross dressers amongst others.

This means that what may be suitable for one is not suitable for another.

There is also the question about the difference between transgender and transsexual and the host of similar terms used as descriptions.

Do these children understand who they are?

Childhood is a time of change and what may seem concrete one year may be fluid the following.

Anyone who is concerned about the welfare of the child cannot help but be disturbed by the implications of making the wrong decision.

This only skims the tip of the subject, disturbing is a mild description.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

Even Tom Robinson, the "singer" decided he was no longer gay, albeit some time into his adulthood.

Makes the comments aimed at parents who allow circumcision (as abuse) pale into insignificance.

Circumcision : Bad

Ear piercing bad :

Sex change : Go on then. "

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Anyone who is concerned about the welfare of the child cannot help but be disturbed by the implications of making the wrong decision..

"

Anyone who is concerned for the welfare of a fellow human cannot help by be disturbed by the implications of forcing someone to live in a body they are not comfortable with for the rest of their life.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *alopeteyMan
over a year ago

maghull

lots of good points here, but i think it boils down to people feeling comfortable, and being able to do with there own body as they want to

lots of people don't like it because of how it makes them feel personally so look for reasons and make excuses for there ignorance in order to try and get others to jump on there hate bandwagon...

if people wanna dye there hair glow in the dark orange and wear designer bin bags with a carrot on there head !!! provided they are sane they should be allowed to people should stop being asshats because they are closed off and cant handle that people are different to them.

i have a phrase that i live by " as long as people are not hurting or doing some thing against some ones free will, have at it "

live and let live

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"lots of good points here, but i think it boils down to people feeling comfortable, and being able to do with there own body as they want to

lots of people don't like it because of how it makes them feel personally so look for reasons and make excuses for there ignorance in order to try and get others to jump on there hate bandwagon...

if people wanna dye there hair glow in the dark orange and wear designer bin bags with a carrot on there head !!! provided they are sane they should be allowed to people should stop being asshats because they are closed off and cant handle that people are different to them.

i have a phrase that i live by " as long as people are not hurting or doing some thing against some ones free will, have at it "

live and let live"

You have missed the point: it is not people in general being discussed, it is young children, some as young as four or five years old

Would you be happy with a four year old dying their hair purple or some such?

Surely the best is simply to allow the kids to 'be'? Quashing their feelings if they are desperately unhappy is not good but electing down the route of major surgery seems too serious, at such a young age, to my mind

As has been pointed out above - and in keeping with the policy of the NHS - counselling first, hormone blockers at an older age and then, at an older age still, surgery if the individual involved is still certain about their feelings seems a good way to handle things: it is encouraging to hear this morning how sensitively one child's school handled the matter.

I'm concerned that America, being the way it is, might encourage children to enter into surgery too young

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Surely the best is simply to allow the kids to 'be'? Quashing their feelings if they are desperately unhappy is not good but electing down the route of major surgery seems too serious, at such a young age, to my mind

"

I don't know if you watched the program, but they weren't advocating operating on young children. The youngest person operated on was a 16 year old who had his breasts removed.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

'Forcing' someone to live in their own skin seems sensible to me.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 08/04/15 02:44:24]

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Just watching. A disturbing issue

Why is it disturbing?

I agree with you

Why is it disturbing

They didn't say it was disturbing. They said it was a disturbing issue. Giving pre pubescent children the power to elect to take puberty blockers and hormones raises serious questions amongst them about parental responsibility and the ability to make life choices as a pre teen.

To suggest the OP is being narrow minded is a knee jerk reaction and quite unfair.

Mr 2-4

Thank you. Though I'm not the OP! Have nothing against TGs; just the age is a concern. Would be interested to hear from those who are TG: would you have been happier to have had the option to make such a decision at such a young age? Not being judgemental; just curious"

I tried to kill myself at NINE. NINE.. A nine year old shouldn't know shit like that. Now, you think about it. Your trying to make people understand what is wrong with you, but you yourself are clueless. There is a feeling of something trying to "escape".. Literally, that is how it feels. Each day for me was a battle and hitting puberty was when things went downhill for me. 4 suicide attempts, one being very nearly successful if it wasn't for the amberlunce team acting fast, a mental and nervous breakdown from "hiding" who i was, Homelessness, from when i come out to my biological parents who id never met up till 16. and the list goes on. If you want to see your possible child go through hell, you stop them taking them blockers and fingers crossed, they wont take the steps to suicide like 80% of trans people do. We dont hold the highest suicide statistic out of anyone for no reason. Its a painful thing to go through and at times distressing as hell. If i could rewind time now and take blockers to stop my puberty, i would have done cos now i have to live with the phyisical damages, not so much others can see, but what i can see.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Just watching. A disturbing issue

Why is it disturbing?

I agree with you

Why is it disturbing

They didn't say it was disturbing. They said it was a disturbing issue. Giving pre pubescent children the power to elect to take puberty blockers and hormones raises serious questions amongst them about parental responsibility and the ability to make life choices as a pre teen.

To suggest the OP is being narrow minded is a knee jerk reaction and quite unfair.

Mr 2-4

Thank you. Though I'm not the OP! Have nothing against TGs; just the age is a concern. Would be interested to hear from those who are TG: would you have been happier to have had the option to make such a decision at such a young age? Not being judgemental; just curious

You don't think that the children are able to consult with their parents and doctors on the nature and possible complications of gender reassignment, to ensure that they are made best aware of the decision prior to deciding if it's the right one for them?

A ten year old being given the deciding vote on a course of action that will determine the rest of their life ?? And you think that is ok?

I believe that listening to my child, being the kind of dad they are able to come to and talk about these incredibly complicated issues of gender, personality and perception in the world, both by others and yourself, offering reassurance where I can, and if necessary taking the matter further to a dedicated specialist who can better advise both me and my child on the best course of action, is not only 'ok', but demonstrating the qualities that any good parent should have.

I'm guessing you don't have children.

No, but I have nephews and nieces, and have had close contact with them for a long time - not quite the same as parenting, but I at least have some degree of experience in seeing the issues both parent and child go through, and am perfectly equipped to formulate some form of tested opinion on the matter."

And, that right there is the definition of a brilliant father to be

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *gNeMan
over a year ago

Harrogate

Surely the salient points for debate are: 1) The age of consent.

2) Societal views on gender and sex.

Not seen a single person make a derogatory comment about transgendered people.. Yet the condescending, liberal fascists, are out in force. Censoring and attempting to put words into others' mouths.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If my daughter came to me when she was older and in her teens and told me she was a boy id support her through her desicion and make sure it was the right choice for her.

I do not agree with what the psychologist said regarding transgender kids, that a mum may say to her child honey such a good girl and the two year old replies no mummy boy. That surely can not be taken as gospel that this two year old is transgender. My daughter has said loads she is a little boy (shes 2) doesnt mean that i should start taking her to therapy and completely change the way she is living a two year old can easily and very quickly change there minds. As can all children. A child becoming a young adult would make more informed choices than a child or toddler.

Miss Peach

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

Children go through development stages, where they don't have a grasp from birth what gender means. Hence when very young can perceive things that we may find almost comical, like waking up a different gender.

But once they grasp gender beyond that fluidity level, then they can have the same constructs as us.

I think its lovely that our world is more open to understanding things that are significant for kids like gender issues now. My family were supportive from pte-school, but we didn't have the awareness of today's families.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *gNeMan
over a year ago

Harrogate

Surely the overriding problem though is the fact that society deems sex and gender to be inseparable. If people could act male or female regardless of the bits in between their legs, then surely there would be no need for invasive surgery and potent hormonal treatments.. A child simply should not have to make that choice based on societal pressures!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *osieWoman
over a year ago

Wembley


"Surely the overriding problem though is the fact that society deems sex and gender to be inseparable. If people could act male or female regardless of the bits in between their legs, then surely there would be no need for invasive surgery and potent hormonal treatments.. A child simply should not have to make that choice based on societal pressures!"

Shouldn't that be a decision to be made and followed through by the individual concerned?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Surely the overriding problem though is the fact that society deems sex and gender to be inseparable. If people could act male or female regardless of the bits in between their legs, then surely there would be no need for invasive surgery and potent hormonal treatments.. A child simply should not have to make that choice based on societal pressures!"

i can almost assure you from the word "go" i always knew something was not right with me. it was not from "societal pressure". If you research the science, you may get a grasp understanding of how Transgender children are made. One stage being we all start with a female chromo in the womb. That is a big hint of how it is caused... the rest is easy to guess. You may also want to search into the new "Trans MRI scans" they now offer in Europe to find-out if a child is indeed structed neurotically and functioned in the brain as the oppose gender. You don't just "wake up" like this unfortunately. its there from day one. just takes alot to realize and these children now have stronger role models that have platforms to speak up for them. If only i knew what was up with me when i was a child maybe, as i said, i could have started my blockers much younger.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Surely the best is simply to allow the kids to 'be'? Quashing their feelings if they are desperately unhappy is not good but electing down the route of major surgery seems too serious, at such a young age, to my mind

I don't know if you watched the program, but they weren't advocating operating on young children. The youngest person operated on was a 16 year old who had his breasts removed."

Amen. and the legal age for gender reassignment is 18. or 16 with a physicist and parents consent. some people are stuck so much in the past they dont understand it and think a 4 year old can have a sex change. They won't even get the blocker till 12 and in which, Blockers can be stopped if a child had doubts and "return" to living as there assigned sex. Letting a child grow up in the sex they are mentally is perfectly okay. they're doing no harm... I dont see why people make such a big fuss. its a shame some of these people saying they shouldn't are probably parents too who will watch there son or daughter fall into a cave of depression and suicide because they couldn't face letting there child live happily and freely... you hit the nail on the end though. kudos x

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Surely the best is simply to allow the kids to 'be'? Quashing their feelings if they are desperately unhappy is not good but electing down the route of major surgery seems too serious, at such a young age, to my mind

I don't know if you watched the program, but they weren't advocating operating on young children. The youngest person operated on was a 16 year old who had his breasts removed.

Amen. and the legal age for gender reassignment is 18. or 16 with a physicist and parents consent. some people are stuck so much in the past they dont understand it and think a 4 year old can have a sex change. They won't even get the blocker till 12 and in which, Blockers can be stopped if a child had doubts and "return" to living as there assigned sex. Letting a child grow up in the sex they are mentally is perfectly okay. they're doing no harm... I dont see why people make such a big fuss. its a shame some of these people saying they shouldn't are probably parents too who will watch there son or daughter fall into a cave of depression and suicide because they couldn't face letting there child live happily and freely... you hit the nail on the end though. kudos x"

Who is making a big fuss? Who is saying they shouldn't?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Surely the best is simply to allow the kids to 'be'? Quashing their feelings if they are desperately unhappy is not good but electing down the route of major surgery seems too serious, at such a young age, to my mind

I don't know if you watched the program, but they weren't advocating operating on young children. The youngest person operated on was a 16 year old who had his breasts removed.

Amen. and the legal age for gender reassignment is 18. or 16 with a physicist and parents consent. some people are stuck so much in the past they dont understand it and think a 4 year old can have a sex change. They won't even get the blocker till 12 and in which, Blockers can be stopped if a child had doubts and "return" to living as there assigned sex. Letting a child grow up in the sex they are mentally is perfectly okay. they're doing no harm... I dont see why people make such a big fuss. its a shame some of these people saying they shouldn't are probably parents too who will watch there son or daughter fall into a cave of depression and suicide because they couldn't face letting there child live happily and freely... you hit the nail on the end though. kudos x

Who is making a big fuss? Who is saying they shouldn't? "

theres 1 or 2 comments above of uncertain feelings towards it, but the majority agree which is refreshing to see on here.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Surely the best is simply to allow the kids to 'be'? Quashing their feelings if they are desperately unhappy is not good but electing down the route of major surgery seems too serious, at such a young age, to my mind

I don't know if you watched the program, but they weren't advocating operating on young children. The youngest person operated on was a 16 year old who had his breasts removed.

Amen. and the legal age for gender reassignment is 18. or 16 with a physicist and parents consent. some people are stuck so much in the past they dont understand it and think a 4 year old can have a sex change. They won't even get the blocker till 12 and in which, Blockers can be stopped if a child had doubts and "return" to living as there assigned sex. Letting a child grow up in the sex they are mentally is perfectly okay. they're doing no harm... I dont see why people make such a big fuss. its a shame some of these people saying they shouldn't are probably parents too who will watch there son or daughter fall into a cave of depression and suicide because they couldn't face letting there child live happily and freely... you hit the nail on the end though. kudos x

Who is making a big fuss? Who is saying they shouldn't?

theres 1 or 2 comments above of uncertain feelings towards it, but the majority agree which is refreshing to see on here. "

Agree about what though? At what age should surgery be allowed? What age hormones?

I respect your opinion as obviously you know much, much more about the issue than me - but are you prepared to admit that your opinion is based to a degree by your own experiences? My concern is both for those who go through lots of tough stuff and come out certain that the transgender decision (probably the wrong word but you know what I mean) was the right thing for them and also those who feel TG at an early age but who change heart later on. Could intervention through hormones complicate matters for the latter group? Please note there is no judgement - just a curiosity and willingness to understand. It is this group that we aren't seeing being reported on - yet they make up three quarters of transgender children from what I've heard and read

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Surely the best is simply to allow the kids to 'be'? Quashing their feelings if they are desperately unhappy is not good but electing down the route of major surgery seems too serious, at such a young age, to my mind

I don't know if you watched the program, but they weren't advocating operating on young children. The youngest person operated on was a 16 year old who had his breasts removed.

Amen. and the legal age for gender reassignment is 18. or 16 with a physicist and parents consent. some people are stuck so much in the past they dont understand it and think a 4 year old can have a sex change. They won't even get the blocker till 12 and in which, Blockers can be stopped if a child had doubts and "return" to living as there assigned sex. Letting a child grow up in the sex they are mentally is perfectly okay. they're doing no harm... I dont see why people make such a big fuss. its a shame some of these people saying they shouldn't are probably parents too who will watch there son or daughter fall into a cave of depression and suicide because they couldn't face letting there child live happily and freely... you hit the nail on the end though. kudos x

Who is making a big fuss? Who is saying they shouldn't?

theres 1 or 2 comments above of uncertain feelings towards it, but the majority agree which is refreshing to see on here.

Agree about what though? At what age should surgery be allowed? What age hormones?

I respect your opinion as obviously you know much, much more about the issue than me - but are you prepared to admit that your opinion is based to a degree by your own experiences? My concern is both for those who go through lots of tough stuff and come out certain that the transgender decision (probably the wrong word but you know what I mean) was the right thing for them and also those who feel TG at an early age but who change heart later on. Could intervention through hormones complicate matters for the latter group? Please note there is no judgement - just a curiosity and willingness to understand. It is this group that we aren't seeing being reported on - yet they make up three quarters of transgender children from what I've heard and read"

You're missing the point. A blocker is not a hormone. They will not be allowed hormones till 16. A blocker just simply gives them more time to think about it and make sure they are who they are. Under the tough supervision of a physicist, they will go through extensive therapy to make sure they are 100% trans. If at 16, he or she feels that the child is ready to have the hormone, then they shall be put on it for a prior two years. Then and only then, if they have passed that, they may get a written referral for GRS surgery if thats the route they wish to take. If not, they can carry on hormones. At any time, these can be stopped if they have any doubts and there body will then develop back as the assigned sex at birth that they were. its just a simple "buying time" option for them. im 25, and still not under gone post op surgery because i wasn't sure. only now am i getting closer to knowing its what i want and i feel by the time im 28-30 maybe i shall be post op. so, its not a overnight process and i can assure you, most children know who they are. theres that 10% who "reverse" the changes of estrogen. Noone in the right mind would take the post op route if they was not 100% certain and the physicist was not 100% either. x

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Surely the best is simply to allow the kids to 'be'? Quashing their feelings if they are desperately unhappy is not good but electing down the route of major surgery seems too serious, at such a young age, to my mind

I don't know if you watched the program, but they weren't advocating operating on young children. The youngest person operated on was a 16 year old who had his breasts removed.

Amen. and the legal age for gender reassignment is 18. or 16 with a physicist and parents consent. some people are stuck so much in the past they dont understand it and think a 4 year old can have a sex change. They won't even get the blocker till 12 and in which, Blockers can be stopped if a child had doubts and "return" to living as there assigned sex. Letting a child grow up in the sex they are mentally is perfectly okay. they're doing no harm... I dont see why people make such a big fuss. its a shame some of these people saying they shouldn't are probably parents too who will watch there son or daughter fall into a cave of depression and suicide because they couldn't face letting there child live happily and freely... you hit the nail on the end though. kudos x

Who is making a big fuss? Who is saying they shouldn't?

theres 1 or 2 comments above of uncertain feelings towards it, but the majority agree which is refreshing to see on here.

Agree about what though? At what age should surgery be allowed? What age hormones?

I respect your opinion as obviously you know much, much more about the issue than me - but are you prepared to admit that your opinion is based to a degree by your own experiences? My concern is both for those who go through lots of tough stuff and come out certain that the transgender decision (probably the wrong word but you know what I mean) was the right thing for them and also those who feel TG at an early age but who change heart later on. Could intervention through hormones complicate matters for the latter group? Please note there is no judgement - just a curiosity and willingness to understand. It is this group that we aren't seeing being reported on - yet they make up three quarters of transgender children from what I've heard and read

You're missing the point. A blocker is not a hormone. They will not be allowed hormones till 16. A blocker just simply gives them more time to think about it and make sure they are who they are. Under the tough supervision of a physicist, they will go through extensive therapy to make sure they are 100% trans. If at 16, he or she feels that the child is ready to have the hormone, then they shall be put on it for a prior two years. Then and only then, if they have passed that, they may get a written referral for GRS surgery if thats the route they wish to take. If not, they can carry on hormones. At any time, these can be stopped if they have any doubts and there body will then develop back as the assigned sex at birth that they were. its just a simple "buying time" option for them. im 25, and still not under gone post op surgery because i wasn't sure. only now am i getting closer to knowing its what i want and i feel by the time im 28-30 maybe i shall be post op. so, its not a overnight process and i can assure you, most children know who they are. theres that 10% who "reverse" the changes of estrogen. Noone in the right mind would take the post op route if they was not 100% certain and the physicist was not 100% either. x"

From what I heard the other day, the Dutch are advocating earlier and earlier intervention - would you support that? Is the NHS policy a good one, do you think?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"From what I heard the other day, the Dutch are advocating earlier and earlier intervention - would you support that? Is the NHS policy a good one, do you think? "

I don't think you understand what they mean by 'early intervention'. They mean talky therapy and so forth.

Blockers are given at the onset of puberty (between 10 and 15). Hormone therapy is given several years after that. Surgery to remove breasts is sometimes done at 16, and bottom surgery is done in someones twenties at least.

The early intervention isn't more drugs or surgery - there's none you can give earlier than the onset of puberty. They're just talking about allowing the child to live in the gender that they wish. And why not? The older you are, the harder it is to transition.

I'm contemplating when the best time for me to transition is. I will most likely now wait until after my PhD - another four to five years - because that's the 'easiest' time for me to transition socially. Allowing a child to change the gender that they are living at as a convenient time - such as when changing to secondary school, or by moving primary schools and changing at the same time - would be a real help.

The problem is that you have to plan to lose a large part of your social circle, so if you can do that earlier in life, or when you're making another large change, then it's much easier to do.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *gNeMan
over a year ago

Harrogate


"Surely the overriding problem though is the fact that society deems sex and gender to be inseparable. If people could act male or female regardless of the bits in between their legs, then surely there would be no need for invasive surgery and potent hormonal treatments.. A child simply should not have to make that choice based on societal pressures!

i can almost assure you from the word "go" i always knew something was not right with me. it was not from "societal pressure". If you research the science, you may get a grasp understanding of how Transgender children are made. One stage being we all start with a female chromo in the womb. That is a big hint of how it is caused... the rest is easy to guess. You may also want to search into the new "Trans MRI scans" they now offer in Europe to find-out if a child is indeed structed neurotically and functioned in the brain as the oppose gender. You don't just "wake up" like this unfortunately. its there from day one. just takes alot to realize and these children now have stronger role models that have platforms to speak up for them. If only i knew what was up with me when i was a child maybe, as i said, i could have started my blockers much younger. "

You've totally missed my point. The societal pressure of which I speak is that gender and sex cannot be mutually exclusive. I never suggested it was a choice you have made. However it is entirely society which makes you feel that you are in the 'wrong' body.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Surely the overriding problem though is the fact that society deems sex and gender to be inseparable. If people could act male or female regardless of the bits in between their legs, then surely there would be no need for invasive surgery and potent hormonal treatments.. A child simply should not have to make that choice based on societal pressures!

i can almost assure you from the word "go" i always knew something was not right with me. it was not from "societal pressure". If you research the science, you may get a grasp understanding of how Transgender children are made. One stage being we all start with a female chromo in the womb. That is a big hint of how it is caused... the rest is easy to guess. You may also want to search into the new "Trans MRI scans" they now offer in Europe to find-out if a child is indeed structed neurotically and functioned in the brain as the oppose gender. You don't just "wake up" like this unfortunately. its there from day one. just takes alot to realize and these children now have stronger role models that have platforms to speak up for them. If only i knew what was up with me when i was a child maybe, as i said, i could have started my blockers much younger.

You've totally missed my point. The societal pressure of which I speak is that gender and sex cannot be mutually exclusive. I never suggested it was a choice you have made. However it is entirely society which makes you feel that you are in the 'wrong' body. "

It's not "society" at all. its science

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *gNeMan
over a year ago

Harrogate


"Surely the overriding problem though is the fact that society deems sex and gender to be inseparable. If people could act male or female regardless of the bits in between their legs, then surely there would be no need for invasive surgery and potent hormonal treatments.. A child simply should not have to make that choice based on societal pressures!

i can almost assure you from the word "go" i always knew something was not right with me. it was not from "societal pressure". If you research the science, you may get a grasp understanding of how Transgender children are made. One stage being we all start with a female chromo in the womb. That is a big hint of how it is caused... the rest is easy to guess. You may also want to search into the new "Trans MRI scans" they now offer in Europe to find-out if a child is indeed structed neurotically and functioned in the brain as the oppose gender. You don't just "wake up" like this unfortunately. its there from day one. just takes alot to realize and these children now have stronger role models that have platforms to speak up for them. If only i knew what was up with me when i was a child maybe, as i said, i could have started my blockers much younger.

You've totally missed my point. The societal pressure of which I speak is that gender and sex cannot be mutually exclusive. I never suggested it was a choice you have made. However it is entirely society which makes you feel that you are in the 'wrong' body.

It's not "society" at all. its science"

Look i'm not having a go, i've a lot of respect for trans people. Takes a lot of balls (or not as the case may be ) to face the stigma and bigotry.

You haven't grasped what I am saying, unless you are saying that anyone identifying as female has an innate instinct from birth to have breasts, and a vagina, and wear dresses and high heels. If that is the case then obviously i am wrong about the influence of society on the mental wellbeing of transpeople, and if so i apologise.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Just watching. A disturbing issue

Why is it disturbing?

I agree with you

Why is it disturbing

They didn't say it was disturbing. They said it was a disturbing issue. Giving pre pubescent children the power to elect to take puberty blockers and hormones raises serious questions amongst them about parental responsibility and the ability to make life choices as a pre teen.

To suggest the OP is being narrow minded is a knee jerk reaction and quite unfair.

Mr 2-4

Thank you. Though I'm not the OP! Have nothing against TGs; just the age is a concern. Would be interested to hear from those who are TG: would you have been happier to have had the option to make such a decision at such a young age? Not being judgemental; just curious

You don't think that the children are able to consult with their parents and doctors on the nature and possible complications of gender reassignment, to ensure that they are made best aware of the decision prior to deciding if it's the right one for them?

A ten year old being given the deciding vote on a course of action that will determine the rest of their life ?? And you think that is ok?

I believe that listening to my child, being the kind of dad they are able to come to and talk about these incredibly complicated issues of gender, personality and perception in the world, both by others and yourself, offering reassurance where I can, and if necessary taking the matter further to a dedicated specialist who can better advise both me and my child on the best course of action, is not only 'ok', but demonstrating the qualities that any good parent should have.

I'm guessing you don't have children.

No, but I have nephews and nieces, and have had close contact with them for a long time - not quite the same as parenting, but I at least have some degree of experience in seeing the issues both parent and child go through, and am perfectly equipped to formulate some form of tested opinion on the matter.

And, that right there is the definition of a brilliant father to be "

Thankyou kindly, it's as I said before, should I become a father one day, it doesn't matter to me if I have a son, daughter, or someone who is a unique mix of both, all that matters is that they're healthy and happy, and I'd love them all equally x

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Surely the overriding problem though is the fact that society deems sex and gender to be inseparable. If people could act male or female regardless of the bits in between their legs, then surely there would be no need for invasive surgery and potent hormonal treatments.. A child simply should not have to make that choice based on societal pressures!

i can almost assure you from the word "go" i always knew something was not right with me. it was not from "societal pressure". If you research the science, you may get a grasp understanding of how Transgender children are made. One stage being we all start with a female chromo in the womb. That is a big hint of how it is caused... the rest is easy to guess. You may also want to search into the new "Trans MRI scans" they now offer in Europe to find-out if a child is indeed structed neurotically and functioned in the brain as the oppose gender. You don't just "wake up" like this unfortunately. its there from day one. just takes alot to realize and these children now have stronger role models that have platforms to speak up for them. If only i knew what was up with me when i was a child maybe, as i said, i could have started my blockers much younger.

You've totally missed my point. The societal pressure of which I speak is that gender and sex cannot be mutually exclusive. I never suggested it was a choice you have made. However it is entirely society which makes you feel that you are in the 'wrong' body.

It's not "society" at all. its science

Look i'm not having a go, i've a lot of respect for trans people. Takes a lot of balls (or not as the case may be ) to face the stigma and bigotry.

You haven't grasped what I am saying, unless you are saying that anyone identifying as female has an innate instinct from birth to have breasts, and a vagina, and wear dresses and high heels. If that is the case then obviously i am wrong about the influence of society on the mental wellbeing of transpeople, and if so i apologise. "

Ive always known since very young same as most trans kids. When I was 9 I tried to kill myself because i was confused to why my body wasnt the way it should be.... You say thats society? The science is out there.

As for scoeitys opinions however, The way one should dress and look IS a problem. Eg: Unpassable trans women are seen as "men" because they hold masculine traits still, yet a feminine trans person is seen as "Wow you obvs were meant to be women all along" (Ive heard that a few times)

Also, A Girl should like dresses, heels and pink. A Trans person can still like masculine things regardless of there gender identity. So I agree with you 100% on that part.

As for the cause of it though, thats science not society.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *gNeMan
over a year ago

Harrogate


"Surely the overriding problem though is the fact that society deems sex and gender to be inseparable. If people could act male or female regardless of the bits in between their legs, then surely there would be no need for invasive surgery and potent hormonal treatments.. A child simply should not have to make that choice based on societal pressures!

i can almost assure you from the word "go" i always knew something was not right with me. it was not from "societal pressure". If you research the science, you may get a grasp understanding of how Transgender children are made. One stage being we all start with a female chromo in the womb. That is a big hint of how it is caused... the rest is easy to guess. You may also want to search into the new "Trans MRI scans" they now offer in Europe to find-out if a child is indeed structed neurotically and functioned in the brain as the oppose gender. You don't just "wake up" like this unfortunately. its there from day one. just takes alot to realize and these children now have stronger role models that have platforms to speak up for them. If only i knew what was up with me when i was a child maybe, as i said, i could have started my blockers much younger.

You've totally missed my point. The societal pressure of which I speak is that gender and sex cannot be mutually exclusive. I never suggested it was a choice you have made. However it is entirely society which makes you feel that you are in the 'wrong' body.

It's not "society" at all. its science

Look i'm not having a go, i've a lot of respect for trans people. Takes a lot of balls (or not as the case may be ) to face the stigma and bigotry.

You haven't grasped what I am saying, unless you are saying that anyone identifying as female has an innate instinct from birth to have breasts, and a vagina, and wear dresses and high heels. If that is the case then obviously i am wrong about the influence of society on the mental wellbeing of transpeople, and if so i apologise.

Ive always known since very young same as most trans kids. When I was 9 I tried to kill myself because i was confused to why my body wasnt the way it should be.... You say thats society? The science is out there.

As for scoeitys opinions however, The way one should dress and look IS a problem. Eg: Unpassable trans women are seen as "men" because they hold masculine traits still, yet a feminine trans person is seen as "Wow you obvs were meant to be women all along" (Ive heard that a few times)

Also, A Girl should like dresses, heels and pink. A Trans person can still like masculine things regardless of there gender identity. So I agree with you 100% on that part.

As for the cause of it though, thats science not society. "

My point was that society puts pressure on boys to be boys and girls to be girls. This kind of gender segregation must surely cause people born into the wrong body to feel anxious and depressed because they will want to be part of the group which they relate to the most i.e. the females. Yet feel ostracised and demonised simply because they are different on a physical level.

If society was more accepting in general and less keen to put people in boxes, then i would hope that nobody would feel as marginalised, scared, and confused as people like yourself have done.

I may be wrong though, and bow out to your superior knowledge on the subject

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Surely the overriding problem though is the fact that society deems sex and gender to be inseparable. If people could act male or female regardless of the bits in between their legs, then surely there would be no need for invasive surgery and potent hormonal treatments.. A child simply should not have to make that choice based on societal pressures!

i can almost assure you from the word "go" i always knew something was not right with me. it was not from "societal pressure". If you research the science, you may get a grasp understanding of how Transgender children are made. One stage being we all start with a female chromo in the womb. That is a big hint of how it is caused... the rest is easy to guess. You may also want to search into the new "Trans MRI scans" they now offer in Europe to find-out if a child is indeed structed neurotically and functioned in the brain as the oppose gender. You don't just "wake up" like this unfortunately. its there from day one. just takes alot to realize and these children now have stronger role models that have platforms to speak up for them. If only i knew what was up with me when i was a child maybe, as i said, i could have started my blockers much younger.

You've totally missed my point. The societal pressure of which I speak is that gender and sex cannot be mutually exclusive. I never suggested it was a choice you have made. However it is entirely society which makes you feel that you are in the 'wrong' body.

It's not "society" at all. its science

Look i'm not having a go, i've a lot of respect for trans people. Takes a lot of balls (or not as the case may be ) to face the stigma and bigotry.

You haven't grasped what I am saying, unless you are saying that anyone identifying as female has an innate instinct from birth to have breasts, and a vagina, and wear dresses and high heels. If that is the case then obviously i am wrong about the influence of society on the mental wellbeing of transpeople, and if so i apologise.

Ive always known since very young same as most trans kids. When I was 9 I tried to kill myself because i was confused to why my body wasnt the way it should be.... You say thats society? The science is out there.

As for scoeitys opinions however, The way one should dress and look IS a problem. Eg: Unpassable trans women are seen as "men" because they hold masculine traits still, yet a feminine trans person is seen as "Wow you obvs were meant to be women all along" (Ive heard that a few times)

Also, A Girl should like dresses, heels and pink. A Trans person can still like masculine things regardless of there gender identity. So I agree with you 100% on that part.

As for the cause of it though, thats science not society.

My point was that society puts pressure on boys to be boys and girls to be girls. This kind of gender segregation must surely cause people born into the wrong body to feel anxious and depressed because they will want to be part of the group which they relate to the most i.e. the females. Yet feel ostracised and demonised simply because they are different on a physical level.

If society was more accepting in general and less keen to put people in boxes, then i would hope that nobody would feel as marginalised, scared, and confused as people like yourself have done.

I may be wrong though, and bow out to your superior knowledge on the subject "

Oh, well in that case, it's really down to the parents isn't it. If they allow there child to wear the appropiate clothing etc that they feel they should then that only leads to that child being a bit happier and at ease. I do know hat some of society are still behind and have a lot of catching up to do. i.e - america and its anti trans toilet laws in schools and public places. That, of course, would make life much more harder for anyone battling with gender dysphoria. But as I say, I agree with you there. But, mainly is down to the parent whether they want there child to be happy or depressed and suicidal xx

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *gNeMan
over a year ago

Harrogate


"

Oh, well in that case, it's really down to the parents isn't it. If they allow there child to wear the appropiate clothing etc that they feel they should then that only leads to that child being a bit happier and at ease. I do know hat some of society are still behind and have a lot of catching up to do. i.e - america and its anti trans toilet laws in schools and public places. That, of course, would make life much more harder for anyone battling with gender dysphoria. But as I say, I agree with you there. But, mainly is down to the parent whether they want there child to be happy or depressed and suicidal xx"

Yeah but its not just parents, as open minded as they may be, when their trans daughter goes to school they will likely be picked on by other kids for wearing the wrong clothes etc. It's definitely a problem on a societal level, and it needs dealing with through proper education! Only problem is the current educational system teaches regurgitation of (often incorrect) information, rather than critical thinking and appraisal.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *osieWoman
over a year ago

Wembley

My 'niece' never tried to do any harm to himself. I suppose some do but not everyone

Also, whether society accepts or not (and the society I come from does) he does want his body to align with his gender. But being very level-headed, he has taken the decision that until medical science catches up with his requirements, he will live in the body as it is

I guess people are very different in how they approach a similar issue. And ultimately, the decision lies with that individual and not with some pseudo- collective

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *lutmeup500Woman
over a year ago

London

I haven't read the forum. I don't even know if this is related. But...

THERE ARE SOME GORGEOUS TS ON HERE

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

To me it seems more an issue of the mind than the body and society, media, culture, upbringing, experiences all play roles in that.

Old paintings often show little boys dressed in dresses - fashions and attitudes change too.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
Post new Message to Thread
back to top