FabSwingers.com forum: Can they ever taste nice?

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I am talking about rejections - when somebody approaches you for meeting/ playing and you have asked for a picture and then discover that they either remind you of your late Aunt Brenda or they are just not quite your cup of tea for one reason or another.

Would love to hear what people say at this point without causing offense - as just because YOU dont want to meet them, it does not mean you want to upset somebody.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

we are always really honest and tell the truth........no point in stringing people along.........we also would like people to be honest with us.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"we are always really honest and tell the truth........no point in stringing people along.........we also would like people to be honest with us."

So what would you say - would you say (as I did on one occasion - I am sorry but you remind me of somebody and it would stop me from forming a rapport with you?

Would you consider that acceptable?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

i just say 'thanks but i am not interested in taking this further, happy swinging'

if they come back at em and ask why i simply say that i am not atracted to them, no need to go any deeper than that really i think

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"i just say 'thanks but i am not interested in taking this further, happy swinging'

if they come back at em and ask why i simply say that i am not atracted to them, no need to go any deeper than that really i think"

That is probably the best way - just plain yet non offensive language. I must admit I sometimes (wrongly) allow myself getting drawn into giving a reason... and then some might get offended.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

if someone doesn't take rejection very well then they are in the wrong place and on the wrong site.....

as long as you aren't offensive then to be honest you don't owe them an explanation....

if you don't fancy people there is no such things as sympathy shags here... we are all here for fun!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

defo the truth .. no point otherwise.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I usually say something along the lines of we don't see a mutual sexual attraction which I'm sure they can appreciate is a big part of this game, and I hope they appreciate our honesty

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ushroom7Man
over a year ago

Bradford

Sticks his head over the parapet :

"your loss"

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We are NOT going to appeal to everyone, likewise we're NOT going to be attracted to everyone who contacts us!

I'd like to think the adults on here would recognise that and not be desperately needy to ask "what's wrong with me?".

There's no need to be rude even though some do test your resolve! Usually the men that contact are outside my criteria anyway so I just delete without reading: as I say I will on my profile!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

we turned a couple down recently with a polite sorry but the attraction is not there only for them to reply with the message " your loss " lol

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *etillanteWoman
over a year ago

I say something along the lines of 'Thanks, but no thanks, good luck in the future'

I must admith usually get a thanks for replying, have had very few negative comebacks

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

in a club i find this easy to get around but i have never had a situation wher it was a privatly planned meet and thier was no attraction, in all fairness i find alot of people look alot sexier in person

if i met a person privatley and they looked nothing like thier picture i would be tempted to just walk away

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ell of the ballWoman
over a year ago

birmingham

I always ask for a face picture straight off and am honest about why. If there is no physical attraction I'd much rather discover this sooner rather than later...both ways.

I have also had a couple of stalkers too so another reason to see who I'm talking to

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"we turned a couple down recently with a polite sorry but the attraction is not there only for them to reply with the message " your loss " lol"

I've never understood the "your loss" comment!

Don't they get it's not a loss: that's why they've been rejected!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I just normally say

"I'm really sorry but you are not my type"

and have lost count of how any times I've received the "your loss" reply

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We were honest with a couple, politely said no and got a load of abuse off them and they blocked us lol.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *andKCouple
over a year ago

Norfolk

"We were honest with a couple, politely said no and got a load of abuse off them and they blocked us lol."

We've had exactly the same

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Honesty is the best policy. we all know what we want when we are geeting in touch with each other but there has got to be some attraction otherwise it ain't going to work. They too must understand this and be totally honest too.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Im a wimp and just reply thank you for your message and leave it at that, very short etc, and if they reply to that, I dont usually reply. Im still figuring out a suitable stock phrase to use which is not offensive and makes them feel ok and im ok, I dont want anyone to be offended by a refusal, but equally Im not doing them any favours by not being honest.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i always say a polite 'thanks but no thanks, good luck on here x' - 98% reply thanks for the reply as most just delete without doing so

but i have had a few badgering for a response. i simply say 'i'm afraid you are not my flavour, sorry' to make light of it. some get abusive about me being a big lass - funny how they can make personal comments based on a set of lips!

i took it personally when i first came on, now its water off a ducks back. i dont know these people so why care what they think??

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *istress-MazikeenWoman
over a year ago

bolton

I just say, thanks but your not what I am looking for. works for me.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

turning people down after a message or a _iewing of a pick is not a problem to us. We usually just say, "thank you, but we feel that there is not enough of an attraction for us to want to take it further, as we would more than likely just waste your time"

It's harder though, after a good social meet to tell someone you don't want to play with them.

Another scenario, is when you approach someone and they sorry, we can't meet or play at the moment. Then you ask them again at a later date and get the same response. Do you draw a line under it there and then, or do you keep trying till they give you the "No way Jose" message?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've been straight with people from the offset and had no real negative responses. Only one where we had seem photos, chatted on MSN and I went to pick him up. He chatted politely, directed me to a deserted spot where i parked up. Then. Nothng. Nada. I asked if perhaps he'd like to kiss me and he said "No. Sorry. I'm just not feeling it!".

I appreciate that some people dont click and this isn't Match.com, but he could have not wadted my time driving about!!!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have never had a problem but some take it badly and will tantrum, lie and cause all sorts of problems if they get rejected. I don't see why as life will always have acceptances and rejections.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I find it really hard to tell people not for me as could be really lovely people and i may like them to chat too ,,,, just not sex ..... But over the years meet played with 2 men not really my sort but best sex ever ,, lol xx So its hard just looking at pics thinking not for me thay could be ,, Most miles away ... I hate them to travel So far just to have me OR us x x JO XXX

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I find it really hard to tell people not for me as could be really lovely people and i may like them to chat too ,,,, just not sex ..... But over the years meet played with 2 men not really my sort but best sex ever ,, lol xx So its hard just looking at pics thinking not for me thay could be ,, Most miles away ... I hate them to travel So far just to have me OR us x x JO XXX"

That is where I was coming from really - I find it quite difficult to say this to people as I really do not like causing upset and rejection.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

Post new Message to Thread