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Discretion?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Can it exist within the realms of swinging?

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By (user no longer on site)
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Of course it can.....but as in real life some people are discrete and some are'nt and sometimes its something you discover about people a bit too late

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Where would one start with this one??

xxx

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Where would one start with this one??

xxx"

Well I like to keep them ambiguous, it makes for a better debate lol.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Of course it can.....but as in real life some people are discrete and some are'nt and sometimes its something you discover about people a bit too late "

Hmmm indeed.

I personally am not convinced that discretion is prevalent within swinging. However it is interesting to view other peoples opinions.

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By (user no longer on site)
Forum Mod
over a year ago

I know what you mean

I can only comment on how we are which is really quite private,I would like the same respect that I give but it does'nt always happen

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It can but doesnt from experience

You learn from it all but unfortunatly the ones that aint spoil it for the genuine ones.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

LOL, you must be joking ffs

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I know what you mean

I can only comment on how we are which is really quite private,I would like the same respect that I give but it does'nt always happen"

noted and agree.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"LOL, you must be joking ffs"

No............I have my serious face on and im frowning, not grinning. Mind you both those facial expressions could mean danger lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Fingers burnt?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Fingers burnt? "

just interested.

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By (user no longer on site)
Forum Mod
over a year ago

I think if we're all honest we have all had to deal with someone being indiscrete or disrespectful to us....it happened to us not so long ago and I will get revenge in my own sweet unassuming way

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Surely they have as much to loose if they blab about their fun?

And of course, you can always look puzzled as to what they are talking about, bluff is a fantastic weapon.

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By *1dKingColeMan
over a year ago

east london

Yes, you can be discreet. But a number of people aren't.

People measure by their own yard sticks, and what they think is good enough for them should be the norm that is applied to others. I don't agree but it's hard to practice even when you are aware of it.

I always try to be discreet, but I have noticed that many who are not (or appear to me) are very successful in obtaining meets, so maybe I’m overly courteous. LOL

I looked at a profile earlier of a guy who had looked at my profile, and it had a number of different women on it, showing clear face shots etc, but their own, if not out of shot, was blurred out. Did they all really give explicit permission for those pic’s to be there? I doubt it. Not discreet.

Is feed-back discreet? Maybe not, but it is voluntary and so acceptable, but it does give rise to games of who knows who, knows who, and possibly issues there. But it *is* our choice but there can be a case for Anon feedback.

By the nature of being on here we are to a degree being not discreet, but to live life to the level of a Victorian farce would drive me insane.

I subscribe to live and let live, and I won’t identify anyone, my anecdotes are always obscure enough to protect people. I wish others where the same but you get all sorts as in every walk of life.

So in answer to the question I think it’s a 50/50, and if it’s important to you, you need to look after your own interests first, always.

.

.

.

Got a bit OT there didn’t I? LOL

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By *ebzStarWoman
over a year ago

Notting


"I think if we're all honest we have all had to deal with someone being indiscrete or disrespectful to us....it happened to us not so long ago and I will get revenge in my own sweet unassuming way

"

Best served cold

xx

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Yes, you can be discreet. But a number of people aren't.

People measure by their own yard sticks, and what they think is good enough for them should be the norm that is applied to others. I don't agree but it's hard to practice even when you are aware of it.

I always try to be discreet, but I have noticed that many who are not (or appear to me) are very successful in obtaining meets, so maybe I’m overly courteous. LOL

I looked at a profile earlier of a guy who had looked at my profile, and it had a number of different women on it, showing clear face shots etc, but their own, if not out of shot, was blurred out. Did they all really give explicit permission for those pic’s to be there? I doubt it. Not discreet.

Is feed-back discreet? Maybe not, but it is voluntary and so acceptable, but it does give rise to games of who knows who, knows who, and possibly issues there. But it *is* our choice but there can be a case for Anon feedback.

By the nature of being on here we are to a degree being not discreet, but to live life to the level of a Victorian farce would drive me insane.

I subscribe to live and let live, and I won’t identify anyone, my anecdotes are always obscure enough to protect people. I wish others where the same but you get all sorts as in every walk of life.

So in answer to the question I think it’s a 50/50, and if it’s important to you, you need to look after your own interests first, always.

.

.

.

Got a bit OT there didn’t I? LOL

"

whips away the soap box lol.x

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By *1dKingColeMan
over a year ago

east london


"

.

Got a bit OT there didn’t I? LOL

whips away the soap box lol.x"

Ouch!

You so loved doing that, didn't you.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I think if we're all honest we have all had to deal with someone being indiscrete or disrespectful to us....it happened to us not so long ago and I will get revenge in my own sweet unassuming way

Best served cold

xx"

indeed.

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By (user no longer on site)
Forum Mod
over a year ago


"I think if we're all honest we have all had to deal with someone being indiscrete or disrespectful to us....it happened to us not so long ago and I will get revenge in my own sweet unassuming way

Best served cold

xx"

They won't even realise its coming hun hahaha xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"LOL, you must be joking ffs"

BF behave yaself im in a wicked mood

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

discretion??? are u having a laff in MY opinion some ppl on here dont know the meaning of the word FFS!!!!!!

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I think if we're all honest we have all had to deal with someone being indiscrete or disrespectful to us....it happened to us not so long ago and I will get revenge in my own sweet unassuming way

Best served cold

xx

They won't even realise its coming hun hahaha xx"

oh you have a wicked laugh too..lol.

Isnt it just the best.

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By *ebzStarWoman
over a year ago

Notting


"discretion??? are u having a laff in MY opinion some ppl on here dont know the meaning of the word FFS!!!!!! "

Ok ok - i'm sorry - i didnt mean to tell everyone how sexy you are ok!!!!

I take it all back....;-)

xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
Forum Mod
over a year ago


"I think if we're all honest we have all had to deal with someone being indiscrete or disrespectful to us....it happened to us not so long ago and I will get revenge in my own sweet unassuming way

Best served cold

xx

They won't even realise its coming hun hahaha xx

oh you have a wicked laugh too..lol.

Isnt it just the best."

It sooo is,im really easy going but have a true aversion to nasty gossip and disrespect,I hate all that shit......It turns me from an angel into a devil

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I think if we're all honest we have all had to deal with someone being indiscrete or disrespectful to us....it happened to us not so long ago and I will get revenge in my own sweet unassuming way

Best served cold

xx

They won't even realise its coming hun hahaha xx

oh you have a wicked laugh too..lol.

Isnt it just the best.

It sooo is,im really easy going but have a true aversion to nasty gossip and disrespect,I hate all that shit......It turns me from an angel into a devil"

Can't ever profess to being an angel...iy just makes my sadistical side crank up a gear.

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By (user no longer on site)
Forum Mod
over a year ago


"I think if we're all honest we have all had to deal with someone being indiscrete or disrespectful to us....it happened to us not so long ago and I will get revenge in my own sweet unassuming way

Best served cold

xx

They won't even realise its coming hun hahaha xx

oh you have a wicked laugh too..lol.

Isnt it just the best.

It sooo is,im really easy going but have a true aversion to nasty gossip and disrespect,I hate all that shit......It turns me from an angel into a devil

Can't ever profess to being an angel...iy just makes my sadistical side crank up a gear."

LOL

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By *ebzStarWoman
over a year ago

Notting


"I think if we're all honest we have all had to deal with someone being indiscrete or disrespectful to us....it happened to us not so long ago and I will get revenge in my own sweet unassuming way

Best served cold

xx

They won't even realise its coming hun hahaha xx

oh you have a wicked laugh too..lol.

Isnt it just the best.

It sooo is,im really easy going but have a true aversion to nasty gossip and disrespect,I hate all that shit......It turns me from an angel into a devil

Can't ever profess to being an angel...iy just makes my sadistical side crank up a gear.

LOL "

Never mind LOL

Think Eeeeeeek is more appropiate there.....

Eeeeeeek

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By (user no longer on site)
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Never show you're scared Debz.....even if you are pmsl xx

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I think if we're all honest we have all had to deal with someone being indiscrete or disrespectful to us....it happened to us not so long ago and I will get revenge in my own sweet unassuming way

Best served cold

xx

They won't even realise its coming hun hahaha xx

oh you have a wicked laugh too..lol.

Isnt it just the best.

It sooo is,im really easy going but have a true aversion to nasty gossip and disrespect,I hate all that shit......It turns me from an angel into a devil

Can't ever profess to being an angel...iy just makes my sadistical side crank up a gear.

LOL

Never mind LOL

Think Eeeeeeek is more appropiate there.....

Eeeeeeek "

Helloooo you, come into my lair.

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By *ebzStarWoman
over a year ago

Notting


"Never show you're scared Debz.....even if you are pmsl xx"

Nooooo noooo noo - i am running for the hills hun!!!!

lol

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Never show you're scared Debz.....even if you are pmsl xx

Nooooo noooo noo - i am running for the hills hun!!!!

lol"

adjusts scope for hill hunting.....lmao

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Never show you're scared Debz.....even if you are pmsl xx"

Word of reason..

When Jo (or Rob) hasa quiet word .. take it on board... LOL!!

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By *ebzStarWoman
over a year ago

Notting


"Never show you're scared Debz.....even if you are pmsl xx

Word of reason..

When Jo (or Rob) hasa quiet word .. take it on board... LOL!!"

Shit - too late!!!

LOL

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By (user no longer on site)
Forum Mod
over a year ago


"Never show you're scared Debz.....even if you are pmsl xx

Word of reason..

When Jo (or Rob) hasa quiet word .. take it on board... LOL!!"

Estee its always Jo...it takes Rob a week to type a sentence.....painful to watch lol

You're making me sound scary......I like it! xxx

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By *ebzStarWoman
over a year ago

Notting

I am scared of ALL of you tonight - the hills are defo looking very welcoming right now,

Tee hee heeeeeeeeexxx

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I am scared of ALL of you tonight - the hills are defo looking very welcoming right now,

Tee hee heeeeeeeeexxx"

Dont be scared..........we wont tell anyone!

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By *ebzStarWoman
over a year ago

Notting

Promise.....................???

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Promise.....................???"

scouts honour...dib dib dib

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By (user no longer on site)
Forum Mod
over a year ago

And wave bye bye to Debz as she disappears into the lair lol

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By *ebzStarWoman
over a year ago

Notting


"And wave bye bye to Debz as she disappears into the lair lol "

**GULP!!!!**

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By (user no longer on site)
Forum Mod
over a year ago

We've lost the plot with this thread...sorry Femme as its a great subject to debate xxx

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"And wave bye bye to Debz as she disappears into the lair lol "

now now, you shouldnt tease her so...Im the quiet shy type..the sadistical bitch comment is just a ruse....coughs

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"We've lost the plot with this thread...sorry Femme as its a great subject to debate xxx"

sod it, as long as people are having a laugh and enjoying the banter, who cares lol.x

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By *ebzStarWoman
over a year ago

Notting


"And wave bye bye to Debz as she disappears into the lair lol

now now, you shouldnt tease her so...Im the quiet shy type..the sadistical bitch comment is just a ruse....coughs"

PAH!!!!

I dont believe that for a minute...

and no not cos someone was not discreet - i just dont believe ya!!!

LOL

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"And wave bye bye to Debz as she disappears into the lair lol

now now, you shouldnt tease her so...Im the quiet shy type..the sadistical bitch comment is just a ruse....coughs

PAH!!!!

I dont believe that for a minute...

and no not cos someone was not discreet - i just dont believe ya!!!

LOL"

LMAO.....ok it was a lie lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Probably get lambasted for this but threads like this make us think these forums are populated with either the most unlucky or the most inept swingers on the planet, and we are fast edging toward inept

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Probably get lambasted for this but threads like this make us think these forums are populated with either the most unlucky or the most inept swingers on the planet, and we are fast edging toward inept "
now theres a suprising post eh folks??? blah blah blah

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By *pecializedMan
over a year ago

newcastle/northumberland

go get em tiger

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By (user no longer on site)
Forum Mod
over a year ago


"Probably get lambasted for this but threads like this make us think these forums are populated with either the most unlucky or the most inept swingers on the planet, and we are fast edging toward inept "

The thing is you have to have a certain amount of trust to swing don't you think? or else you would'nt swing at all

And you would'nt realise until it was too late that the trust was abused by someone then blabbing to all and sundry about what went on and what you were like

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By (user no longer on site)
Forum Mod
over a year ago


"go get em tiger"

If you want to respond to a post then by all means do it yourself without goading someone else

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Probably get lambasted for this but threads like this make us think these forums are populated with either the most unlucky or the most inept swingers on the planet, and we are fast edging toward inept

The thing is you have to have a certain amount of trust to swing don't you think? or else you would'nt swing at all

And you would'nt realise until it was too late that the trust was abused by someone then blabbing to all and sundry about what went on and what you were like

"
in my opinion and it is purely that.......ppl do abuse good nature and trust, par for the course me feels but there are some FANTASTIC PPL on here too xxxxxxxxxxxx

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By *leasureDomeMan
over a year ago

all over the place

[Removed by poster at 02/06/09 00:00:36]

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By *leasureDomeMan
over a year ago

all over the place

i am crap at being discrete and indiscrete i forget who tells me what and who said dont say anything ...if i do try and gossip i normally get it wrong

i was discrete once ..but no one told me i had been so didnt realise ..

i do leak like a seven trent water main during a drought..so you have been warned ...i take no responsibility for my actions ...

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By (user no longer on site)
Forum Mod
over a year ago


"i am crap at being discrete and indiscrete i forget who tells me what and who said dont say anything ...if i do try and gossip i normally get it wrong

i was discrete once ..but no one told me i had been so didnt realise ..

i do leak like a seven trent water main during a drought..so you have been warned ...i take no responsibility for my actions ..."

Now he tell us!

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By *leasureDomeMan
over a year ago

all over the place


"i am crap at being discrete and indiscrete i forget who tells me what and who said dont say anything ...if i do try and gossip i normally get it wrong

i was discrete once ..but no one told me i had been so didnt realise ..

i do leak like a seven trent water main during a drought..so you have been warned ...i take no responsibility for my actions ...

Now he tell us! "

remembering stuff is hard work at my age you know !!

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By (user no longer on site)
Forum Mod
over a year ago

As long as we know we can take it into account!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Probably get lambasted for this but threads like this make us think these forums are populated with either the most unlucky or the most inept swingers on the planet, and we are fast edging toward inept now theres a suprising post eh folks??? blah blah blah "

8 years of careful playing and not suffered from indiscretion yet, never met the weird and wonderful, never met the bloke who couldn't get it up or the women who had been dragged to the meet,never fallen for the "were a couple" only to find "they" are a guy, and only ever played once with a couple we did not really like but never again......

Careful consideration in all we do means we have pretty much have had a great time to date and long may it continue

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By *ebzStarWoman
over a year ago

Notting

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

Think indescretion comes in all shapes and sizes........so easy to be blindsided.

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

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By *teve_SoleilCouple
over a year ago

Malaysia

Some people only see the world from their point of view....just like how some vanilla people see swingers as cheaters...some thinks that just because they don't mind being indiscreet...it's okay to treat others the same way...:D...everyone has different circumstances....some just got lucky...:D

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

there there debz..........mwah xxxxxxxxxxx

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By *ebzStarWoman
over a year ago

Notting


"there there debz..........mwah xxxxxxxxxxx"

Thanks hun xxx

Mwah mwah xx

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By *leasureDomeMan
over a year ago

all over the place

[Removed by poster at 02/06/09 01:56:41]

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By *leasureDomeMan
over a year ago

all over the place


"there there debz..........mwah xxxxxxxxxxx

Thanks hun xxx

Mwah mwah xx"

Kick ...could of thought this was discretion thread ...those blackouts are getting worse

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By *ebzStarWoman
over a year ago

Notting


"there there debz..........mwah xxxxxxxxxxx

Thanks hun xxx

Mwah mwah xx

Kick ...could of thought this was discretion thread ...those blackouts are getting worse "

SHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Discretely now.....

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By *leasureDomeMan
over a year ago

all over the place


"there there debz..........mwah xxxxxxxxxxx

Thanks hun xxx

Mwah mwah xx

Kick ...could of thought this was discretion thread ...those blackouts are getting worse

SHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Discretely now....."

whine whine whine ....yawn ....pmsl

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"snip.....

Is feed-back discreet? Maybe not, but it is voluntary and so acceptable, but it does give rise to games of who knows who, knows who, and possibly issues there. But it *is* our choice but there can be a case for Anon feedback.

snip.....

"

A bit different on the site as such. I would imagine the questions was related to off site, bump into 'players' in a pub, supermarket etc.

I was in the same pub a s a couple I havd meet and played with, never said a word, just a nod. They emailed later saying they though I was going to come over and talk to them, and they were with friends...

Guess the line is or should be; what happens playing, stays in playing.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Of course discretion can exist in swinging

We certainly don't broadcast what we do, or who we do it with, to the whole wide world

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

yes there is discretion in swinging... but basically it is a double edged sword,

take varification for example...

there are people who are varified and don't show theres... up to them and good for them, but there is a certain amount of pressure on people to show them, as if they are not as genuine of they have have something to hide....

more and more profiles are saying that people "must show varification"

and then there are the graphic ones which like I have said before for me go way past being indiscreet, people don't need to know every detail about a meet.....

I do tend to avoid these types of people and yes it probably has cost me meets.....

I have seen people I have played with on the "outside" so to speak, I get on fine and can have a normal conversations with them, I go in with the belief that swinging is as private for them as it is for me so I would never dream of bringing it up

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There will always be those who dangle conquests like trophies because they think it will boost thier ego's and set them higher than others. This is sooooo wrong, they are soon seen for what they are and thier indisgretions will actually work against them.

Easy to spot and easier to avoid...lessons have been learnt

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"snip.....

Is feed-back discreet? Maybe not, but it is voluntary and so acceptable, but it does give rise to games of who knows who, knows who, and possibly issues there. But it *is* our choice but there can be a case for Anon feedback.

snip.....

A bit different on the site as such. I would imagine the questions was related to off site, bump into 'players' in a pub, supermarket etc.

I was in the same pub a s a couple I havd meet and played with, never said a word, just a nod. They emailed later saying they though I was going to come over and talk to them, and they were with friends...

Guess the line is or should be; what happens playing, stays in playing."

I agree with these points, when I see 'discretion' on someones profile I don't think of it as relating to them not wanting to be seen on verifications. I think of it like nicerguy does, if you see them in a non swinging related context then it shouldn't be mentioned. As the top bit of the quote says, it is their choice to write someone a verification, they wouldn't write one otherwise, if you have met them then you will probably have discussed it anyway.

I do show my verifications but only to prove that they aren't cam or phone verifications, they are certainly not there to show my 'conquests' or 'notches' and on that level I think the idea of anonymous verifications is a good one.

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By *leasureDomeMan
over a year ago

all over the place

the verification thing is important ...if you drop verifications everywhere you go that in itself is lacking in discretion and signals you dont mind your swing life being out in the open ....

now if its your athletes foot problem etc, that is another issue ,to be honest many people visit your home when swinging and its only right you keep a modicum of discretion with the actual detail of what happened on that visit.

but for me if a verification is placed anywhere especially if it has sexual details on it ...it really is a no brainer you feel comfy and dont care if people scrutinise it ..

pd

pd

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