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Parents of older children.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Just watching the news now about the plane crash in the alps and it was showing a memorial a school was having for the kids on board that were coming back from a school trip. Just got me thinking how do you get the balance right between being too overprotective and letting your kids be independent and have life experiences.

I went skiing with my school and to Milan and Paris and my mum let me go but I think I'd be too scared to let my daughter go! Even when my little sister started to learn to drive I was worried about her and asked my mum did she worry when I started driving and how she coped with it but my mother didn't have many answers!

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By *allipygousMan
over a year ago

Leicester

It's best not to project your neurosis and insecurities onto your children.

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By *wosWoman
over a year ago

east london

If I worried about what crazy stunt they were going to pull next , I'd be a wreck .. mind you , am really scared at the idea of the youngest being nearly old enough to get his driving licence

They've all been off camping with the scouts since they were little , I have faith that they're mostly sensible , and have never done anything A&E can't fix

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

How would it have made you felt towards your mum when she let you go ski-ing if she didn't want to for the same reasons? sometimes things really are out of our control and trying to control them will only open another can of worms to deal with.

I did the ski-ing trips wuth school myself & they were my favourite holidays. Don't take that away because of your own fears is what I think

Bless you though...for being such a hottie...shit! I mean't caring person!

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London


"It's best not to project your neurosis and insecurities onto your children."

Simply: this!

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By *alandNitaCouple
over a year ago

Scunthorpe

Generally, if you try to stop your kids from doing what their friends are doing, then they'll just not tell you what they're doing at all. The best you can do (in my opinion) is to set a good example on being safe and sensible when it counts..... then TRUST them to do it for themselves.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't worry about such things. Life is for enjoying not worrying about in my book My son has had some fabulous trips a and I never gave them a second thought. I'm also looking forward to him providing a taxi service for me for a change

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Forgot I posted this, it was half 1 in the morning and I was thinking about loads of random stuff!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I can only speak on behalf of the child as at 16 I joined the army and there was nothing more annoying than my parents being worried, it got to the point where I didnt want to call them, and listen to them worrying(mainly, I at the time wanted to learn how to live my life, make my own mistakes and correct them.

I understand it was hard for them, but if you show that you can trust them they will respect you more for it, help when they ask, otherwise it seems like you are trying to run their life for them.

at least that's how I thought of things.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I don't worry about such things. Life is for enjoying not worrying about in my book My son has had some fabulous trips a and I never gave them a second thought. I'm also looking forward to him providing a taxi service for me for a change "

This

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As longs as you have brought them up as well as you can and given them as much information and advice about what to do and not to do, you just have to bite the bullet and let them have their independence.

Our Son went skiing with school a few years ago to Italy. They were on their way home on the coach at the same time there was an accident involving a coach full of school children coming home from the same place. There were fatalities and we were in bits until we got word from the school that it wasn't our school coach that had had the accident. We were crying our eyes out watching the distraught parents on the new waiting at the school gates for news of their children.

We were glad to get him home. He went on more school trips and had loads of fun. We worry about them but give them as much independence and trust as possible.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It's best not to project your neurosis and insecurities onto your children."

Harsh but fair.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My parents never allowed me to go school trips at all. To be honest it blighted my teenage years, I was often the only one who didn't go so the school had to slot me into other classes to keep me occupied. Because of this I have never allowed my own insecurities and anxiety to influence how I deal with my children as best I can. Giving them freedoms confers trust and encourages honesty. As a parent take big breaths and remember they are more likely to be injured crossing the road or simply getting in a car, than doing anything else (unless the school has a penchant for taking them bungee jumping!!!)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I find it unbelievable how some parents treat their children and they grow up to be helpless ninnies or rebel and become complete shitheads.

I've got 2 girls and 1 boy all, could cook their own meals, mend their bikes, wash their clothes by the age of 11, they walked to and from school from the age of 5 and never got run over and they would tell me if any strange people were about, if there was a school trip I would want them to go, not to get rid of them but for their own personal development.

All never got into trouble, all are doing great and earn a lot more then their old dad and I'm proud of them, I've helped but by and large it their doing.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

To truly love them we must let them go. They will make mistakes for sure, but we all did. It won't stop us worrying, but we have to let them live.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My children have been going on Brownie or cub camps from a very early age.

They've been going on weekends away with their pals since they were sixteen.

Mrs P and myself love travelling and I'm glad our children have caught this bug.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We have 3 teens now and tbh for the most part we just let them get on with it, you tell someone that they can't do something and they will do it regardless imo

Hex

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"We have 3 teens now and tbh for the most part we just let them get on with it, you tell someone that they can't do something and they will do it regardless imo

Hex"

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