FabSwingers.com forum: first meet sex

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

there's lots of ideas on how to break the ice before the act of intercourse...but what about those moments after? when you're not sure what to say?

to start:

that was almost the best sex i've ever had

that was....nice

did you book a taxi to take you back?

(all sure to start a conversation)

any more?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

That was quick....

Now get out....

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Start snoring

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

How was it for you? (That is if you want to know)

Would you like to try again some other time (If it was not that fab but not that bad either)

You must have done this before (when clearly he/she has not)

Has it ever worked for you? (as it did not for me)

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ushroom7Man
over a year ago

Bradford

Not saying i was a poor shag but :

A woman did ask if i was the first woman i'd shagged.

I said you could be, now you mention it your face does look familar.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ushroom7Man
over a year ago

Bradford

"You want it again. Already?"

Is music to my ears.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

NEXT!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ushroom7Man
over a year ago

Bradford

"NEXT!

For a moment I double checked if your address was Warrington.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

A woman did ask if i was the first woman i'd shagged.

did you not say "go fuck yourself"??

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ushroom7Man
over a year ago

Bradford

Or how about :

"Will you stop wiping your cock on my curtains, use the bathroom."

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ushroom7Man
over a year ago

Bradford

A woman did ask if i was the first woman i'd shagged.

did you not say "go fuck yourself"??"

No way. too polite. But i'd watch her.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

A woman did ask if i was the first woman i'd shagged.

did you not say "go fuck yourself"??

No way. too polite. But i'd watch her."

shall i give you a few more moments to address your error, or was it meant like that?

if so, does that make you the first woman posing as a single male....how's that going for ya?!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ushroom7Man
over a year ago

Bradford

A woman did ask if i was the first woman i'd shagged.

did you not say "go fuck yourself"??

No way. too polite. But i'd watch her.

shall i give you a few more moments to address your error, or was it meant like that?

if so, does that make you the first woman posing as a single male....how's that going for ya?!"

I'm finally with you. I see the problem.

Terrible, i get less meets than when i were a single bloke.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

A bit loose around the ass for the first time ?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"My uncle always said fat birds shag the best cos they don't know when they're gonna get it again... he was fookin right, y'know! 10/10 girl!"

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"there's lots of ideas on how to break the ice before the act of intercourse...but what about those moments after? when you're not sure what to say?

to start:

that was almost the best sex i've ever had

that was....nice

did you book a taxi to take you back?

(all sure to start a conversation)

any more?"

Roll off, fart, scratch my balls and fall asleep. Usually a killer

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"there's lots of ideas on how to break the ice before the act of intercourse...but what about those moments after? when you're not sure what to say?

to start:

that was almost the best sex i've ever had

that was....nice

did you book a taxi to take you back?

(all sure to start a conversation)

any more?

Roll off, fart, scratch my balls and fall asleep. Usually a killer

you referring to the fart?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"there's lots of ideas on how to break the ice before the act of intercourse...but what about those moments after? when you're not sure what to say?

to start:

that was almost the best sex i've ever had

that was....nice

did you book a taxi to take you back?

(all sure to start a conversation)

any more?

Roll off, fart, scratch my balls and fall asleep. Usually a killer

you referring to the fart?

No a killer for another invite

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

How about cheese on toast, tea/coffee and a chat, or is that too vanilla?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I normally say thank you once I got my breathe back!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *habsMan
over a year ago

Fortress of Solitude, Middlesex

"I normally say thank you once I got my breathe back!

"Oh my!"

"What's for dessert?"

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ok, now you've had a practice let's try that again and this time put your back into it!!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

Cheers.....will it take you long to get home?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I`ll phone you tomorrow.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

Do you mind running the dyson 'round before you leave?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Or , ahh bless, in a sympathetic tone!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

Well that was ermmmmmmm .... different

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

hahaha, i think some of these are conversation stoppers!

but funny as hell!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *unky monkeyMan
over a year ago

in the night garden

That was 'nice'.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"That was 'nice'.

hahaha, how did you get this far without reading the op?!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

Would you like me to teach you a few secret techniques to making a woman happy? Oh you would…. well these are special techniques very similar to those used in martial arts training. Firstly you need to paint this fence…. that’s it up and down strokes….. you carry on with that and I’ll go and get the car wax.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Would you like me to teach you a few secret techniques to making a woman happy? Oh you would…. well these are special techniques very similar to those used in martial arts training. Firstly you need to paint this fence…. that’s it up and down strokes….. you carry on with that and I’ll go and get the car wax."

hahahaha ahhh Daniel San

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ollie_JCouple
over a year ago

London

i find knowing the following words helps..

Manolo

Choo

Mulberry

Pinot

Rococo

Busaba

La Perla

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *unky monkeyMan
over a year ago

in the night garden

"That was 'nice'.

hahaha, how did you get this far without reading the op?!

Doh! LOL I actually read it but in my hung over state by the time I had gotten to the bottom I just about remembered the title of the thread.

OK how about

'Did you know you have 369 ceiling tiles, I think I must have miscounted as that's an odd number.'

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I WIN!!

always leave 'em wanting more.....

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"That was 'nice'.

hahaha, how did you get this far without reading the op?!

Doh! LOL I actually read it but in my hung over state by the time I had gotten to the bottom I just about remembered the title of the thread.

OK how about

'Did you know you have 369 ceiling tiles, I think I must have miscounted as that's an odd number.'"

my sister did that to an ex! they had been together 7 years and she said "It's the only way I could think of getting rid of him"

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *unky monkeyMan
over a year ago

in the night garden

"That was 'nice'.

hahaha, how did you get this far without reading the op?!

Doh! LOL I actually read it but in my hung over state by the time I had gotten to the bottom I just about remembered the title of the thread.

OK how about

'Did you know you have 369 ceiling tiles, I think I must have miscounted as that's an odd number.'

my sister did that to an ex! they had been together 7 years and she said "It's the only way I could think of getting rid of him"

LMAO

Eeeeeevil

I like her!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"getting rid of him/her" - makes it sound like little more than putting out the trash. Isn't a relationship worth more than that, even at the end and both parties know it's over? I hope nobody ever thought that about me in the past.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

Do you mind if I ask you something…… do you use the same provider for both your gas and electricity? Most households can save up to 25% off of their energy bill by switching to our simple combined user tariff. It will just take a few moments of your time to complete a transfer application and there will be no need for any alteration to your current meters, so no engineers need to call…..

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Do you mind if I ask you something…… do you use the same provider for both your gas and electricity? Most households can save up to 25% off of their energy bill by switching to our simple combined user tariff. It will just take a few moments of your time to complete a transfer application and there will be no need for any alteration to your current meters, so no engineers need to call….."

Mind yer own business yer nosey cow.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

Satan’s child will be born from the seed of man and I shall be the barer of the son of Lucifer. Darkness shall rise and our outcast Lord shall take his rightful place as the ruler of mankind.... did I not mention that on the phone earlier?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *unky monkeyMan
over a year ago

in the night garden

"Satan’s child will be born from the seed of man and I shall be the barer of the son of Lucifer. Darkness shall rise and our outcast Lord shall take his rightful place as the ruler of mankind.... did I not mention that on the phone earlier?"

Why is this not in you profile?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

Why is this not in you profile?"

I share it on a need to know basis... you didn't need to know.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

you're profile should be re-assessed by trading standards

i must really like you, i picked the scabs of specially, usually i don't bother.

wow, i didn't even have to buy you dinner.

christ, you're no oil painting in the morning

pass me my vibrator, i need to finish of what you started

just so i'm clear, this doesn't constitute a date?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

""My uncle always said fat birds shag the best cos they don't know when they're gonna get it again... he was fookin right, y'know! 10/10 girl!"

OI!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

Excuse me for a moment, I need to ring my mate to see who won the crappest shag bet.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

you're fired

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

Is that the time? My partner will be home from boxing club soon.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

that was so emotional, it just keeps getting better and better, the things you let me do to you...i've never done them with any other woman, i swear, you're the only one for me, you make me come alive...so much so that i hate to do this to you...*pulls out toggle, deflates*

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

ooookkkkkkk....now.....let's get you back to the morgue

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ollie_JCouple
over a year ago

London

Nobody is going to invest in you.

You have to pop downstairs to talk to Evan Davis now..

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

How was it for me?.... Well do you remember when they made the film 'Lost in Space' and the trailer looked really exciting, fast moving and full of energy... then when you watched the film you kinda felt....

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ollie_JCouple
over a year ago

London

What's colleen really like?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

Would you like to see my scrapbook.... I've been using it to plan my perfect wedding. What size top hat do you wear?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ollie_JCouple
over a year ago

London

"Would you like to see my scrapbook.... I've been using it to plan my perfect wedding. What size top hat do you wear?"

Sore point that one.. When i was single, mr new, i went on a date and when we went back for a glass of wine to hers she had a scrApbook of my Facebook page and postings i had made on work forums...

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

Let’s play a word game. You have to think of as many words as you can beginning with a letter of your choice. I’ll go first. P.

Pitiable

Pathetic

Puny

Poor

Performance

Premature

Pungent pants

Piggy-pong penis

Piss-off

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Would you like to see my scrapbook.... I've been using it to plan my perfect wedding. What size top hat do you wear?

Sore point that one.. When i was single, mr new, i went on a date and when we went back for a glass of wine to hers she had a scrApbook of my Facebook page and postings i had made on work forums..."

Fookin' 'ell! I bet you were out of there faster speedy gonzalez on amphetamine!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Let’s play a word game. You have to think of as many words as you can beginning with a letter of your choice. I’ll go first. P.

Pitiable

Pathetic

Puny

Poor

Performance

Premature

Pungent pants

Piggy-pong penis

Piss-off

put it politely please why dontcha!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Piggy-pong penis

do tell

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

Post new Message to Thread