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Funeral

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Heading out to a funeral this afternoon of my 92 year old grandmother. Whilst I appreciate the need to mourn, should funerals of someone that's lived a full and rewarding life, and died in her 90's be a black tie affair or should it be an uplifting occasion where the emphasis is on celebration?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think it depends on the person that has passed, when my mom died she had made it known before hand that she wanted a celebration not mourning, so there was no black at all at her funeral, but a woman in her 90s is more likely to be a traditional lady and would want a classical type funeral

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

How do you not know the answer without asking here...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Maybe its her wishes ...... some have a funeral plan and have everything down on paper what they would like .

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By *inaTitzTV/TS
over a year ago

Titz Towers, North Notts

I think they should always be times to remember the joy of their life, not the sadness of their passing. However, I'd not suggest starting a Mexican wave unless you are certain how it will be received.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Can you ask other family members and go with the majority opinion?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My mum died last month. She was a real comedian. She was 70 years old do had a decent life. We made the service as fun as possible with all the stories of the daft things she had done. Made the whole think easier. She always wore pegs clipped to her top at home as she always was washing so we all decided to wear a peg at the funeral. The lady doing the service said it was a nice change to see people celebrating someone's life rather that mourning. Don't get me wrong there were plenty of tears but not all from being sad

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By *issHottieBottieWoman
over a year ago

Kent

We wore pink to my Nan's funeral as she requested that we didn't wear black.

Everyone wore red to my friends last year as he was a Liverpool fan so we thought it would be fitting. He was only 35 so hadnt made his own funeral plans that was at the request of his parents.

Everyone is different. Unless someone has specifically requested not to go with the traditional black/dark colours I wouldnt wear anything else.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sorry for your loss

When my great grandma died at 96 nearly 2 years ago we all wore black but it was a celebration, even though most of us were crying.

I'm planning on releasing some tea light lanterns on the anniversary of her death.

I need to go take some flowers to another grave of a friend of mine who died 11 years ago on 18th march. I always think of the happy times.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We all wore red too as it was her favourite colour including out umbrellas too as it was raining

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

In my opinion a funeral is a celebration of someone's life and should be celebrated by remembering all the fantastic ways in which that person shared it with the people present at the funeral.

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By *annGentMan
over a year ago

With a cracking view


"In my opinion a funeral is a celebration of someone's life and should be celebrated by remembering all the fantastic ways in which that person shared it with the people present at the funeral.

"

Exactly !!!

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By *B9 QueenWoman
over a year ago

Over the rainbow, under the bridge


"I think it depends on the person that has passed, when my mom died she had made it known before hand that she wanted a celebration not mourning, so there was no black at all at her funeral, but a woman in her 90s is more likely to be a traditional lady and would want a classical type funeral"

This. My mum would not have been impressed if her funeral wasn't traditional including the wearing of black. Funerals are to say goodbye, to remember those who've passed and to pay our respects in a traditional sense. We should recognise that unless the person who has passed has let the contrary be known prior to their death.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Personally I find a funeral a celebration of the persons life where everyone gets to tell stories about the person that's passed away. Most stories are usually funny and brighten the day up considering why you are their but ether way hope all went well x

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Cheeseville, Somerset


"I think it depends on the person that has passed, when my mom died she had made it known before hand that she wanted a celebration not mourning, so there was no black at all at her funeral, but a woman in her 90s is more likely to be a traditional lady and would want a classical type funeral

This. My mum would not have been impressed if her funeral wasn't traditional including the wearing of black. Funerals are to say goodbye, to remember those who've passed and to pay our respects in a traditional sense. We should recognise that unless the person who has passed has let the contrary be known prior to their death. "

This.

My Grans was a very traditional affair, my Grandmas a 'no black' colourful one with some of her favourite tunes and a great lively wake at the village pub after. One was very religious - the other the opposite.

It's important to put your wishes in your will if you want anything other than tradition. That - and obviously details of preference re burial/cremation.

It's the choice of the individual concerned - but if nobody knows your wishes it can cause issues between surviving family members and potential fall outs - which is the last thing anyone should go through at that time.

A

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By *nleashedCrakenMan
over a year ago

Widnes

Having been to a number of funerals of late they have been both a traditional recognition of the sadness at the loss of someone and a celebration of their life. Unless specifically requested, I would always wear black or bark for a funeral as a sign of respect. I would also want the same at my own.

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By *innamon!Woman
over a year ago

no matter

I went to a Funeral today .. I wore a black and white dress. For my Mums I wore black but I prefer colour for mine It will be a celebration not sombre. I appreciate direct family will be upset but I have no close friends to care about me really. So black would look hypocrytical.. I prefer the humour that I know my kids would bring to the affair.

Music of my time.. not particularly religious.

My son told me he wants a buddist ceromony then planted under a damson tree. Then all his friends can collect to make jam and pies..

I think older people expect the tradition more but things have changed so much in recent years.

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