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Alcohol addiction

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Sad to see it take hold of someone.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Are you addicted?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Sad to see it take hold of someone. "
.

Very, I've had five friends/ colleagues die of it in ten years!

I worked with a painter and decorator about a year ago, lovely chatty bloke, full of stories.

Only last month I was working with the same firm, I asked where Pete was and was shocked to hear he was dead, drank himself to death in six months aged 47.

Apparently his daughter had died in an accident the year before and he'd never got over it!.

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By *ENDAROOSCouple
over a year ago

South West London / Surrey


"Sad to see it take hold of someone. "

Its not pleasant at all...had a close family member that battled with it for years.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i lived with an addict for 2o years - it reached its limit

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My child's dad is a alcholic.

He walked out of her life nearly 3 years ago.

I was in a very violent relationship with him.its not nice being on the receiving end.x

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Are you addicted? "

No, but someone close is, but doesn't see they have a major problem. Paranoid, aggressive, unwell, selfish etc etc. I'm learning to accept it as the person involved won't change. They had a spell in rehab and for nearly a year were brilliant, bright, vibrant, enjoying life. But now it is back to getting up mid afternoon, first drink 2-3 hours later and between 6-8 cans of lager a night.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Are you addicted?

No, but someone close is, but doesn't see they have a major problem. Paranoid, aggressive, unwell, selfish etc etc. I'm learning to accept it as the person involved won't change. They had a spell in rehab and for nearly a year were brilliant, bright, vibrant, enjoying life. But now it is back to getting up mid afternoon, first drink 2-3 hours later and between 6-8 cans of lager a night."

Until they can admit it their selfs then no one can help.

My ex wouldn't admit hence he has no child in his lifex

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

my kids now 23 and 21 have the absolute minumum to do with him - he will always put himself first

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Are you addicted?

No, but someone close is, but doesn't see they have a major problem. Paranoid, aggressive, unwell, selfish etc etc. I'm learning to accept it as the person involved won't change. They had a spell in rehab and for nearly a year were brilliant, bright, vibrant, enjoying life. But now it is back to getting up mid afternoon, first drink 2-3 hours later and between 6-8 cans of lager a night.

Until they can admit it their selfs then no one can help.

My ex wouldn't admit hence he has no child in his lifex"

I know. Sad when they can't see the damage they are causing to themselves and those close to them.

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By *isscheekychopsWoman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

For many years I worked with alcoholics. Some were ex investment bankers who marriage split up he couldn't cope and turned to drink..he lost everything a very good looking guy but his looks were destroyed by drink. There were a lot of ex military it was so sad it see. I have to be careful as I have an extremely addictive personality so I do watch how much I drink. I've overcome one addiction I don't want another one. Most of my Danish family are alcoholics or recovering alcoholics. My cousin was involved in a car accident (sober) and his 2 best friends got killed I saw him in September when I went over for a wedding and I criee he just drank and drank and drank it was horrible.

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

My dad was an alcoholic and my mum left him when I was 10. I can still remember 45 years later his d*unken outbursts and the rages. I spoke with a very severe stammer, 2 years after living in a peaceful safe home with my mum & sister... Hardly ever stammered, unless I was in a nervous situation.

The effects stay for years and years.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"For many years I worked with alcoholics. Some were ex investment bankers who marriage split up he couldn't cope and turned to drink..he lost everything a very good looking guy but his looks were destroyed by drink. There were a lot of ex military it was so sad it see. I have to be careful as I have an extremely addictive personality so I do watch how much I drink. I've overcome one addiction I don't want another one. Most of my Danish family are alcoholics or recovering alcoholics. My cousin was involved in a car accident (sober) and his 2 best friends got killed I saw him in September when I went over for a wedding and I criee he just drank and drank and drank it was horrible. "

My ex was ex military x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Easily done. Not so easy to stop.

Life sucks.

But it is beautiful as well.

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By *ingle Beds LassWoman
over a year ago

Bedfordshire

Mum died an alcholic 3 years ago, dad is going same way . I feel partially destroyed by the lack of care even though they are/were deeply loved

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"My dad was an alcoholic and my mum left him when I was 10. I can still remember 45 years later his d*unken outbursts and the rages. I spoke with a very severe stammer, 2 years after living in a peaceful safe home with my mum & sister... Hardly ever stammered, unless I was in a nervous situation.

The effects stay for years and years.

"

I keep trying to rationalise that it is the disease and not the person when they do hurtful things to me and others who are close to them. But it is hard, it is hard when you speak on the phone and get shouted at for an hour, it is sad when they ignore all the love around them because all they want to do is sit alone with their best friend, alcohol. Their friend that is always there for them, their friend that has never let them down, their friend which never challenges them. But their friend which they can't see is destroying everything they were, little by little, and killing them slowly.

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By *gNeMan
over a year ago

Harrogate

It's sad watch any form of addiction take hold of someone.

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By *heOwlMan
over a year ago

Altrincham


"Sad to see it take hold of someone. "

It is indeed, especially as though most would argue against it, alcohol addiction (nice to see it referred to in a way that isn't negative for a change) can strike any one of us.

It doesn't help that it is a legal and hightly addictive drug that is both available all over the place and is so socially acceptable. (in fact it is so acceptable that a lot of people assue there is something wrong if one doesn't partake).

Then there is the notty problem of getting help. Yes in some parts of the country help is available, but is a lot of others you are often on your own.

It also carries one heck of a stigma with it. Far too many people look at someone suffering from alcohol addiction as dismiss them as having a self inflicted condition. Unfortunatly it is a situation that most people slip into unawares, until it is too late, rather than a concious decision.

I guess unless alcohol addiction has touched on ones life in some way, be that of trying to help other, seeing friends or family slip into it or slide there oneself, one is unlikely to truely appreciate just how ternatious that drug really is and how devistating its effects can be.

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By *onbons_xxMan
over a year ago

Bolton

[Removed by poster at 23/03/15 20:57:41]

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By *onbons_xxMan
over a year ago

Bolton

Addiction is such a shake when it takes hold. I can't say from personal experience re alcoholism, but it's horrible to hear and I can only imagine the pain so I feel for your friend and all of you who have had to deal with it in some way.

Much love x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"My dad was an alcoholic and my mum left him when I was 10. I can still remember 45 years later his d*unken outbursts and the rages. I spoke with a very severe stammer, 2 years after living in a peaceful safe home with my mum & sister... Hardly ever stammered, unless I was in a nervous situation.

The effects stay for years and years.

"

My dad was also an alcoholic me and my sister was put into care as kids because of his violent rages, when he was skint and had no access to drink it was unlivable, I wet the bed for years because I was to scared to get out of bed and use the toilet, if he heard us up after we had gone to bed he would beat up, but he would also beat me in the morning when I had 'pissed the bed'

I still hate him and even years later when he was dieing I wouldn't bring myself to go see him because of the bad childhood memories I had

What happens to you as a child stays with you forever

I only went to his funeral to make sure he was really dead

I'll never forgive him for putting drink before us, people say it takes over your life but many alcoholics battle drink and win, I have the upmost respect for them but the choice to beat it is yours and only you can make that choice, even when we was put into care he still never made the effort to beat drink or get us back

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By *cottishsexgoddessWoman
over a year ago

Glenrothes


"Are you addicted?

No, but someone close is, but doesn't see they have a major problem. Paranoid, aggressive, unwell, selfish etc etc. I'm learning to accept it as the person involved won't change. They had a spell in rehab and for nearly a year were brilliant, bright, vibrant, enjoying life. But now it is back to getting up mid afternoon, first drink 2-3 hours later and between 6-8 cans of lager a night."

Sounds very like my ex partner. Almost drove me to a nervous breakdown.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"For many years I worked with alcoholics. Some were ex investment bankers who marriage split up he couldn't cope and turned to drink..he lost everything a very good looking guy but his looks were destroyed by drink. There were a lot of ex military it was so sad it see. I have to be careful as I have an extremely addictive personality so I do watch how much I drink. I've overcome one addiction I don't want another one. Most of my Danish family are alcoholics or recovering alcoholics. My cousin was involved in a car accident (sober) and his 2 best friends got killed I saw him in September when I went over for a wedding and I criee he just drank and drank and drank it was horrible.

My ex was ex military x"
.

That's not surprising, the figurers for ex military personnel who suffer mental breakdowns/illness is huge and kept hush by the military!.

I've all the time in the world for military people but very little patience for military propaganda by the establishment!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

I keep trying to rationalise that it is the disease and not the person when they do hurtful things to me and others who are close to them. But it is hard, it is hard when you speak on the phone and get shouted at for an hour, it is sad when they ignore all the love around them because all they want to do is sit alone with their best friend, alcohol. Their friend that is always there for them, their friend that has never let them down, their friend which never challenges them. But their friend which they can't see is destroying everything they were, little by little, and killing them slowly."

It's very hard to watch a loved one who has that addiction. My Grandad was an alcoholic in his younger years when he left the navy. As a result of that , my father never drank alcohol at all.

It's a terrible disease. When you're in the grip of it , you cannot behave rationally where alcohol is concerned. I've seen alcoholics buying booze who have nothing in their fridge to eat. They will go without food rather than the alcohol. Push everyone who's trying to help away. It's hard to witness. You can offer support , signpost them to the agencies, but they have to want to stop. Otherwise it's a pointless exercise. Some will get to that point and other won't until it's too late.

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

There is a Chinese proverb that I always remember:

To stop drinking, study a d*unk when you are sober.

It's not easy for some and we finally lost a friend to alcohol last year. Although we had lot him for a good five years before that.

So much talent thrown away for the sake of a drink.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's not just for the sake of a drink I'm afraid, it's a self destruct button addiction like gambling!

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound


"It's not just for the sake of a drink I'm afraid, it's a self destruct button addiction like gambling!"

I know. He had been sober for a few months and getting his life back on track and then slipped in a social situation. The most dangerous thing of all... falling off the wagon.

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By *ouple in LancashireCouple
over a year ago

in Lancashire

I'm ex military and it was a big part of that way of life, we used to have a happy hour every Friday about 4 o'clock and as a young man it was easier to have a drink than be strong and say no ty..

seen it destroy families, careers and literally lives..

ironically i had a mate who was an absolute top professional soldier, heading for high places who was 'marked down' on his annual appraisal for not being social enough as he wouldn't join in with it in the mess..

he left..

took a bit of a talking to from the OH to see i was kicking the arse out of it and look at how close i was getting to it being a possible problem..

seen at close hand the sheer devastation it causes when people drive under its influence and its not pleasant..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The human physique can only take so much and then it retreats to something for comfort!.

Since ww1 the number of civilian casualties has steadily increased during wars from something like 10% to 50% during Vietnam to around 90% during modern conflicts like Iraq.

Warfare is brutal at the best of times, it's almost intolerable in modern times.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My mother is a recovering alcoholic. 5years sober now she was tearing the family apart at one time. Now lookibg back it's no where the same woman drink changes everything

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"There is a Chinese proverb that I always remember:

To stop drinking, study a d*unk when you are sober.

It's not easy for some and we finally lost a friend to alcohol last year. Although we had lot him for a good five years before that.

So much talent thrown away for the sake of a drink.

"

my kids grew up with a d*unk parent and a sober one - they know who they had the good times with - they have both gone through the teen have a drink phase but not bothered by it at all now

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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk


"Sad to see it take hold of someone. "

Very sad, yes

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By *omaMan
over a year ago

Glasgow

I gave up the demon drink 26 years ago.. . Not cause I was addicted but cause I started losing more fights than I was winning lol

Plus the fact my first daughter was born, I passed my driving test and had responsibilities.

Oh to be young and daft!

now I'm just a boring fart.

Seen two ex school friends die an early death through alcohol over the years.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"It's not just for the sake of a drink I'm afraid, it's a self destruct button addiction like gambling!"

I agree with this, I doubt it is the drink as such that is craved, more the way of life it offers, they way it is perceived to make issues in life better etc.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

For years my mums been drinking and get very violent at times .. Even when I left home she would still get violent and hit me beat me up ripped my clothes until I hit her back and I think she was shocked I did not stand there and take it .. When d*unk she has to be right and know everything and see me as a kid . She thinks everyone is out to get her and get one over on her. In the morning its like it never happened like she blocks it out. It will stay with me all my life I am sure as I don't understand why as I could never be like that to my kids I love them so much. I see her most weeks just don't stay around long and never call her after 5 at night .. as its not my mum on the phone . God if I said get help she would hit me I am sure so I say very little now.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It had hold of me when I was in my early twenties, my life style was going out of control. I was way beyond the fast lane,23 years old with a bottle of vodka in my bedside draws,sat there ready to kick start my days.I. used to go out Friday night...go home on Sunday night,that's how it was...drink,drink and more drink.day in day out until I hit 27.This is when I said enough is enough I've got to get out of it...and I did,I'm a few days off hitting the big 50,and I've not touched a drop since that day and I never will.Coffee is my drink now,I've put weight on because of the sugar,but im alive and happy,so who cares.....it can be done,but you have to have the will to do it.The only vice I have is sex now,and long may it stay that way

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I wish the person involved could read this thread, some truly sad experiences, and all so very familiar.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It had hold of me when I was in my early twenties, my life style was going out of control. I was way beyond the fast lane,23 years old with a bottle of vodka in my bedside draws,sat there ready to kick start my days.I. used to go out Friday night...go home on Sunday night,that's how it was...drink,drink and more drink.day in day out until I hit 27.This is when I said enough is enough I've got to get out of it...and I did,I'm a few days off hitting the big 50,and I've not touched a drop since that day and I never will.Coffee is my drink now,I've put weight on because of the sugar,but im alive and happy,so who cares.....it can be done,but you have to have the will to do it.The only vice I have is sex now,and long may it stay that way"
Well done you it shows it can be done. Was it a hard road to give it up.? How did you stop the cravings for drink at the start .?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It had hold of me when I was in my early twenties, my life style was going out of control. I was way beyond the fast lane,23 years old with a bottle of vodka in my bedside draws,sat there ready to kick start my days.I. used to go out Friday night...go home on Sunday night,that's how it was...drink,drink and more drink.day in day out until I hit 27.This is when I said enough is enough I've got to get out of it...and I did,I'm a few days off hitting the big 50,and I've not touched a drop since that day and I never will.Coffee is my drink now,I've put weight on because of the sugar,but im alive and happy,so who cares.....it can be done,but you have to have the will to do it.The only vice I have is sex now,and long may it stay that way"

Well done for being strong enough to turn yourself around. My sister in law is 3 years sober and now helps others at A A.

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By *over-manMan
over a year ago

motherwell

iam am alky been of the drink 14 months now thanks to AA one day at a time

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"iam am alky been of the drink 14 months now thanks to AA one day at a time"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I gave up the demon drink 26 years ago.. . Not cause I was addicted but cause I started losing more fights than I was winning lol

Plus the fact my first daughter was born, I passed my driving test and had responsibilities.

Oh to be young and daft!

now I'm just a boring fart.

Seen two ex school friends die an early death through alcohol over the years.

Lol the problems start when your winning more fights then your losing while intoxicated

"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

One of the main reasons I left London was my drinking. I was single, had a busy social life, disposable income and was probably out 5 or 6 nights a week. Quiet night would be around 5 pints, a heavy one a minimum of 10. I was holding down a job, going to the gym still cycling - outwardly no indication I had a problem. It was the paranoia that I developed that made me realise something was wrong. Being honest with myself I was a functioning alcoholic and I suspect it is far more common than people realise.

Now I never drink during the week and keep myself busy on a weekend with running so as to not to drink every weekend. I do still drink to excess but only once or twice a month.

I was lucky i saw the signs in time and reacted to them

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"One of the main reasons I left London was my drinking. I was single, had a busy social life, disposable income and was probably out 5 or 6 nights a week. Quiet night would be around 5 pints, a heavy one a minimum of 10. I was holding down a job, going to the gym still cycling - outwardly no indication I had a problem. It was the paranoia that I developed that made me realise something was wrong. Being honest with myself I was a functioning alcoholic and I suspect it is far more common than people realise.

Now I never drink during the week and keep myself busy on a weekend with running so as to not to drink every weekend. I do still drink to excess but only once or twice a month.

I was lucky i saw the signs in time and reacted to them"

That term functioning alcoholic is rings so many bells with me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Try working in the building trade.... Everybody's a functioning alcoholic!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It had hold of me when I was in my early twenties, my life style was going out of control. I was way beyond the fast lane,23 years old with a bottle of vodka in my bedside draws,sat there ready to kick start my days.I. used to go out Friday night...go home on Sunday night,that's how it was...drink,drink and more drink.day in day out until I hit 27.This is when I said enough is enough I've got to get out of it...and I did,I'm a few days off hitting the big 50,and I've not touched a drop since that day and I never will.Coffee is my drink now,I've put weight on because of the sugar,but im alive and happy,so who cares.....it can be done,but you have to have the will to do it.The only vice I have is sex now,and long may it stay that wayWell done you it shows it can be done. Was it a hard road to give it up.? How did you stop the cravings for drink at the start .?"

The way I did it was to channel my new found energy into turning old rusty motorbikes into things of beauty(in my eyes) by doing custom work on them and turning them into choppers......it may sound daft to some people,but the bikes mirrored my life.....from a wreck,to something good...that's the way I looked at it,and it worked for me.

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By *entleman JackMan
over a year ago

Loughborough

ADVICE? The only person you can help is yourself! For partners and close family of alcoholics, there is a wonderful organisation called Al-Anon, to support and help you.

For the children of alcoholics, there is Al-a-teen, dedicated to helping young people.

The alcoholics choice is to drink. You cannot change that. But you can change your own thinking and behaviour to survive and grow. Look up Al-anon yourself, and go to a meeting near you, it is a lifesaver! Good luck to all those affected, you are not alone!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This is a subject that I feel deeply about. Lost my dad 4 years ago to alcoholic liver disease. He was only 53. My mum although now relatively sober is so ill and is likely to go the same way in the not too distant future. All down to years of abusing her body with drink.I've got many memories growing up I wouldn't wish on anyone. That said it was one of those things you accepted as the norm especially in a mining community. I've also some happy ones too - of miners club Xmas parties and my dad d*unk in the supermarket buying us all treats! I've seen many loose the battle with drink and its so sad.

I've seen many others turn their lives around from it when they seek the help and they themselves take the first brave steps to seeking it.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"ADVICE? The only person you can help is yourself! For partners and close family of alcoholics, there is a wonderful organisation called Al-Anon, to support and help you.

For the children of alcoholics, there is Al-a-teen, dedicated to helping young people.

The alcoholics choice is to drink. You cannot change that. But you can change your own thinking and behaviour to survive and grow. Look up Al-anon yourself, and go to a meeting near you, it is a lifesaver! Good luck to all those affected, you are not alone!"

excellent advice

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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland


"ADVICE? The only person you can help is yourself! For partners and close family of alcoholics, there is a wonderful organisation called Al-Anon, to support and help you.

For the children of alcoholics, there is Al-a-teen, dedicated to helping young people.

The alcoholics choice is to drink. You cannot change that. But you can change your own thinking and behaviour to survive and grow. Look up Al-anon yourself, and go to a meeting near you, it is a lifesaver! Good luck to all those affected, you are not alone!

excellent advice "
Seconded

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