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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

now i work night shift sunday to wed and my partner has been ask to interview for a lap dancing club thurs to sat she has wanted to be a dancer for aslong as i have known her. which would mean we would prob have no time together at night and then during the day we would have the kids.

so the question is this,

what would you think if you where in the same position?

on one hand i want to support her dream but on the other hand i am not sure if we would be able to adjust?

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By *i 1 Get 1 FreeCouple (MM)
over a year ago

birmingham

I work nights, my partner works days, as you say, it's all about adjusting, we work round whatever we have planned, for you both, nothing ventured, nothing gained, allow her to fulfil her dream, only then will you both know whether you're able to adjust or not, after all, one cannot predict the outcome until you've both given it a try

Good luck

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By *mf4BxJCouple
over a year ago

edinburgh

Is the problem that it's lap dancing or just the hours?

It's not easy but lots of couples have to work back to back hours to fit round the kids etc and it's just the way it happens sometimes. Long term it would get pretty lonely really but you'll still have your days together and will just have to make the most of them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I agree with Bi1 here, working opposite shifts from your partner often makes you appreciate and desire each other all the more, especially if you do find time alone together.

Are your kids of school age? if not do they nap during the day?

You partner may not always be working the hours she is, you may be able to afford a babysitter with the extra money coming in with her working too, you might be able to change your hours if you have an accommodating employer, lots of things are possible......let her follow her dream, and if it doesn't work out, at least you both have tried. Good luck. xxxxx

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 25/09/10 14:07:50]

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Is the problem that it's lap dancing or just the hours?

It's not easy but lots of couples have to work back to back hours to fit round the kids etc and it's just the way it happens sometimes. Long term it would get pretty lonely really but you'll still have your days together and will just have to make the most of them."

she already works at the moment but is looking for a change, we have to kids one is at school the other nursery so we would have know time jst for the 2 of us.

i think its alittle of both to be honest as we would hardly see each and she would be in a sexual job worried she may feel alittle unsatisfied as we jst wouldn't have the time and look else where for it and it wouldn't be hard to find in that situation.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There was a time when our children were younger when I worked days and my husband nights. He took the kids to and from school, went on school trips, shopped and cooked and I took over the night shift, bathing, home work, bedtime stories.

This was before the days of mobile phones and our cars would pass at the top of the road and have a brief chat. If traffic delayed me my husband wouldn't drive off the road because of the children.

It got lonely at times, but you do what's needed for your family and you adjust.

I hope things work out for you as it does for countless others.

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By *uss PussWoman
over a year ago

east cheshire

I think you should both give it a try, yes it will be difficult but if it gives her a start in what she wants to do as a career then it might just be too good an opportunity to miss, anyway it might not be forever just for a while till better hours come up, she will have experience then to look for other positions which fit in with your time together

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By *i 1 Get 1 FreeCouple (MM)
over a year ago

birmingham


"we would hardly see each and she would be in a sexual job worried she may feel alittle unsatisfied as we jst wouldn't have the time and look else where for it and it wouldn't be hard to find in that situation."

No offence but if your relationship is strong enough, then nothing and no amount of temptation should interfere with that bonding, I really don't mean to be offensive, but your post gives the impression your either insecure or scared she “may be” tempted.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"we would hardly see each and she would be in a sexual job worried she may feel alittle unsatisfied as we jst wouldn't have the time and look else where for it and it wouldn't be hard to find in that situation.

No offence but if your relationship is strong enough, then nothing and no amount of temptation should interfere with that bonding, I really don't mean to be offensive, but your post gives the impression your either insecure or scared she “may be” tempted. "

no offence taken i understand what you are saying iam def not insecure but i am alittle worried that over time the temptation may become alittle to much coupled together with not getting any at home due to the kids always being around that sort of situation would put any relationship under stress.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If her 'dream' is to be a lap dancer then she's not aiming very high. Maybe she would be better off enrolling in a school of performing arts and following her dream properly instead of trying to fast track it in the hope somone famous spots her cavorting around half naked for pervy punters.

Your choice, but there's no way I'd let Siren do it, no matter how much of a 'dream' it was.

p.s. My views on this is in no way reflective of our activities as swingers, as we both get something out of that.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"we would hardly see each and she would be in a sexual job worried she may feel alittle unsatisfied as we jst wouldn't have the time and look else where for it and it wouldn't be hard to find in that situation.

No offence but if your relationship is strong enough, then nothing and no amount of temptation should interfere with that bonding, I really don't mean to be offensive, but your post gives the impression your either insecure or scared she “may be” tempted. "

See what you’re saying there, but if she takes the job they will have no time on there own together, even the best of relationships can fall apart when people spend no time together, so I can sympathise with him on that front.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"If her 'dream' is to be a lap dancer then she's not aiming very high. Maybe she would be better off enrolling in a school of performing arts and following her dream properly instead of trying to fast track it in the hope somone famous spots her cavorting around half naked for pervy punters.

Your choice, but there's no way I'd let Siren do it, no matter how much of a 'dream' it was.

p.s. My views on this is in no way reflective of our activities as swingers, as we both get something out of that."

i nkow what your saying but its not a case of should i let her do it, as iam her partner not her keeper was jst interested in finding out what other couples would do in the same position.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"i nkow what your saying but its not a case of should i let her do it, as iam her partner not her keeper was jst interested in finding out what other couples would do in the same position."

I'm not Siren's 'keeper' either but I am her husband and my opinions do count. If I wanted to do something she strongly disagreed with then I wouldn't do it. We're united as a couple first and foremost and nothing gets in the way of that.

If she wanted to 'have a go on a pole' at a swingers club then I'd have no problem with that at all as we'd know most of the people there and it would be fun. Not a job.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

your job is a necessity, hers is her dream...is there any chance you can look at other avenues for employment? maybe she oculd start with the understanding that you would look elsewhere in the meantime??

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"your job is a necessity, hers is her dream...is there any chance you can look at other avenues for employment? maybe she oculd start with the understanding that you would look elsewhere in the meantime??"

Agree with this! If this is her dream job why stop her, and if you have no free time together than perhaps a change for yu is needed :D

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

there are lots of married cpls who work diff shifts, not much you can do about it these day's finding jobs that are only mon to fri is like trying to find rocking horse poo lol,there is options but that may effect income, ie you become a house hubby,or you have to make time for each other and grab what you can, when you can. there is prob loads of families out there in the same boat.

good luck

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Ok female here wish he wouldnt post stuff and not say to me when its about me too lol,

First off i'd like to say its not a "dream" i have its just something i'd like to try its not a case of wanting to become famous or meet someone famous and do one of those kiss and tell stories.

I've worked ever since i was old enough all manual jobs currently on a farm and i just fancy a change and something abit different

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