FabSwingers.com forum: Oooops a Pooopsy

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

OMFG, I have given birth to two children and never suffered the embarrassing and dreaded 'pooing in labour'.

We were having anal and then I lay on the kitchen table on my back and hubby made me squirt so hard that out popped a little surprise

I screamed 'don't look, don't look' so of course he looked and then ran away, only returning to chuck a toilet roll at me.

I was sliding around on my back, surrounded by what seemed like litres of squirt juice, like a poor turtle stranded on it's shell.

CANNOT BELIEVE IT

I realise that this post will ensure I never get a meet EVER AGAIN but it was so mortifying and funny that I felt I had to share with you lovely lot.

You're welcome xxx

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By *illyjohnyCouple
over a year ago

brighton

[Removed by poster at 19/03/15 21:55:54]

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By *illyjohnyCouple
over a year ago

brighton

"OMFG, I have given birth to two children and never suffered the embarrassing and dreaded 'pooing in labour'.

We were having anal and then I lay on the kitchen table on my back and hubby made me squirt so hard that out popped a little surprise

I screamed 'don't look, don't look' so of course he looked and then ran away, only returning to chuck a toilet roll at me.

I was sliding around on my back, surrounded by what seemed like litres of squirt juice, like a poor turtle stranded on it's shell.

CANNOT BELIEVE IT

I realise that this post will ensure I never get a meet EVER AGAIN but it was so mortifying and funny that I felt I had to share with you lovely lot.

You're welcome xxx"
Shit happens

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

its fab, you will still have guys queuing around the block. Some will even offer to clear up for you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I was in labour and told the midwife I wanted to defecate. We had a debate, her saying it was the pressure of the baby's head. I was insistent... And right grrrr.

I hope she was embarrassed more than me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I was in labour and told the midwife I wanted to defecate. We had a debate, her saying it was the pressure of the baby's head. I was insistent... And right grrrr.

I hope she was embarrassed more than me."

However, I've never shit during any form of sex, inc anal

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I was in labour and told the midwife I wanted to defecate. We had a debate, her saying it was the pressure of the baby's head. I was insistent... And right grrrr.

I hope she was embarrassed more than me.

However, I've never shit during any form of sex, inc anal

You must be missing out.....no one has fucked the shit out of you yet.

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By *ezjez369Man
over a year ago

london

Pics or it never happened lmao

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This is hilarious!!!

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By *oung-dreamCouple
over a year ago

nottingham

It's never happened to me but I can imagine how it can happen as when you squirt your body tenses so much x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I was in labour and told the midwife I wanted to defecate. We had a debate, her saying it was the pressure of the baby's head. I was insistent... And right grrrr.

I hope she was embarrassed more than me.

However, I've never shit during any form of sex, inc anal

You must be missing out.....no one has fucked the shit out of you yet."

Thankfully

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By *urvymamaWoman
over a year ago

Doncaster

OMFG crying with laughter

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By *lik and PaulCouple
over a year ago

Flagrante

"Pics or it never happened lmao"

Now that is just wrong

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"OMFG crying with laughter"

I like to see the positive and if my experience can brighten your day then that's great

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By *inktherapyCouple
over a year ago

Gloucester

"I was in labour and told the midwife I wanted to defecate. We had a debate, her saying it was the pressure of the baby's head. I was insistent... And right grrrr.

I hope she was embarrassed more than me."

Midwives see it so often that I doubt they're embarrassed by it

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By *urvymamaWoman
over a year ago

Doncaster

"OMFG crying with laughter

I like to see the positive and if my experience can brighten your day then that's great

Bravo you for posting and to think i was mortifiedly embarrassed after taking a little tumble at the busy anti natal clinic this afternoon, doesnt seem so bad now

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

On the kitchen table

eeewwww lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It happens I suppose

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Very funny !! I dont think it will put anyone off the ability to make fun of. Such an.embarrasing experience to make people laugh. Proves ur a fun loving lady ! Thanks for making me smile

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"OMFG, I have given birth to two children and never suffered the embarrassing and dreaded 'pooing in labour'.

We were having anal and then I lay on the kitchen table on my back and hubby made me squirt so hard that out popped a little surprise

I screamed 'don't look, don't look' so of course he looked and then ran away, only returning to chuck a toilet roll at me.

I was sliding around on my back, surrounded by what seemed like litres of squirt juice, like a poor turtle stranded on it's shell.

CANNOT BELIEVE IT

I realise that this post will ensure I never get a meet EVER AGAIN but it was so mortifying and funny that I felt I had to share with you lovely lot.

You're welcome xxx"

I think some might see it has a challenge lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I was in labour and told the midwife I wanted to defecate. We had a debate, her saying it was the pressure of the baby's head. I was insistent... And right grrrr.

I hope she was embarrassed more than me.

Midwives see it so often that I doubt they're embarrassed by it"

Embarrassed about not listening....

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By *o new WinksMan
over a year ago

BSE

There's sharing and there's sharing

Borderline but funny

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ok!!!......

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By *inkxRabbitWoman
over a year ago

Mostly in GU24

Thanks for sharing! Haha

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Nearly choked on my smoke then lol.

Shame it wasn't christmas you could have just told hubby it was a festive Yule log on the table.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Are you a Star Trek fan, could have just said. Captains log star date

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ach weeell! Look on the bright side - it was your hubby - not a complete stranger!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

awwwww how embarasssing but made our day and you saw the funny side too - so no damage done -

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

oh that's hilarious!!!

thanks for the giggle, hope you've scrubbed the table well!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Oh no

. I'm keeping my backdoor closed.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"OMFG, I have given birth to two children and never suffered the embarrassing and dreaded 'pooing in labour'.

We were having anal and then I lay on the kitchen table on my back and hubby made me squirt so hard that out popped a little surprise

I screamed 'don't look, don't look' so of course he looked and then ran away, only returning to chuck a toilet roll at me.

I was sliding around on my back, surrounded by what seemed like litres of squirt juice, like a poor turtle stranded on it's shell.

CANNOT BELIEVE IT

I realise that this post will ensure I never get a meet EVER AGAIN but it was so mortifying and funny that I felt I had to share with you lovely lot.

You're welcome xxx"
well done hubby!

quick efficient and good at his job

have a great wknd guys X

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Thats a whole new take on Shit the Bed lol !!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ha ha sorry Op this is so funny

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Ha ha sorry Op this is so funny

"
giggidy

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Ha ha sorry Op this is so funny

giggidy

"
your more than just an arse, your a exploding arse!!

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By *ouble CCouple
over a year ago

Gran Canaria

OMFG. At least u can laugh about it. If he has seen u in labour too, pooing isn't too bad compared to that. Miss C. Xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This is why I always try and have a poo before a meet haaaa!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Ha ha sorry Op this is so funny

giggidy

your more than just an arse, your a exploding arse!!

Only if I eat too much curry

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By *ouble CCouple
over a year ago

Gran Canaria

"This is why I always try and have a poo before a meet haaaa!!"

Yes! A Disco Poo! Miss C. Xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"OMFG, I have given birth to two children and never suffered the embarrassing and dreaded 'pooing in labour'.

We were having anal and then I lay on the kitchen table on my back and hubby made me squirt so hard that out popped a little surprise

I screamed 'don't look, don't look' so of course he looked and then ran away, only returning to chuck a toilet roll at me.

I was sliding around on my back, surrounded by what seemed like litres of squirt juice, like a poor turtle stranded on it's shell.

CANNOT BELIEVE IT

I realise that this post will ensure I never get a meet EVER AGAIN but it was so mortifying and funny that I felt I had to share with you lovely lot.

You're welcome xxx"

That's why we always douche, saves the embarrassment!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Tried anal a couple of times with my ex before. Second time we did it after I pulled out a small log popped out onto the bed. I was like "OH SHIT SHIT DON'T MOVE" before running off to the bathroom to get tissue for her. She was so mortified that she henceforth called it "the incident that never happened". While sometimes I'd tease her by calling her "poopie" while we were in bed. Which often ended in her punching my shoulder before proceeding to fuck my brains out!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Ha ha sorry Op this is so funny

giggidy

your more than just an arse, your a exploding arse!!

Only if I eat too much curry

cross that off the to do list ==== not a curry beer social before play kind of meet

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By *ikeC81Man
over a year ago

harrow

Lol what wrong with a curry before a meet lol

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By *eshzMan
over a year ago

0151

"OMFG, I have given birth to two children and never suffered the embarrassing and dreaded 'pooing in labour'.

We were having anal and then I lay on the kitchen table on my back and hubby made me squirt so hard that out popped a little surprise

I screamed 'don't look, don't look' so of course he looked and then ran away, only returning to chuck a toilet roll at me.

I was sliding around on my back, surrounded by what seemed like litres of squirt juice, like a poor turtle stranded on it's shell.

CANNOT BELIEVE IT

I realise that this post will ensure I never get a meet EVER AGAIN but it was so mortifying and funny that I felt I had to share with you lovely lot.

You're welcome xxx"

I did laugh at this, not because it was an embarrassing moment but the way you describe the speed he ran away and came back with a toilet roll. Honestly though, this is very normal when your body goes into such tense and pleasurable moment during squirting that you lose control of certain muscles... so honestly I wouldn't feel that embarrassed.. in fact

to your husband for making you squirt that hard

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm sorry for laughing but glad you posted your story, still laughing at the "don't look,don't look" comment lol.

It could have been worse he could have said "look a malteaser" and picked it up and ate it.

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By *istressZoeTV/TS
over a year ago

cheshire

"OMFG, I have given birth to two children and never suffered the embarrassing and dreaded 'pooing in labour'.

We were having anal and then I lay on the kitchen table on my back and hubby made me squirt so hard that out popped a little surprise

I screamed 'don't look, don't look' so of course he looked and then ran away, only returning to chuck a toilet roll at me.

I was sliding around on my back, surrounded by what seemed like litres of squirt juice, like a poor turtle stranded on it's shell.

CANNOT BELIEVE IT

I realise that this post will ensure I never get a meet EVER AGAIN but it was so mortifying and funny that I felt I had to share with you lovely lot.

You're welcome xxx"

Omg xi was just about to have my breakfast x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"OMFG, I have given birth to two children and never suffered the embarrassing and dreaded 'pooing in labour'.

We were having anal and then I lay on the kitchen table on my back and hubby made me squirt so hard that out popped a little surprise

I screamed 'don't look, don't look' so of course he looked and then ran away, only returning to chuck a toilet roll at me.

I was sliding around on my back, surrounded by what seemed like litres of squirt juice, like a poor turtle stranded on it's shell.

CANNOT BELIEVE IT

I realise that this post will ensure I never get a meet EVER AGAIN but it was so mortifying and funny that I felt I had to share with you lovely lot.

You're welcome xxx"

How can I unread this?

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By *ezebelWoman
over a year ago

North of The Wall - youll need your vest

Sorry to add to your embarrassment but I think this deserves to go in the Lounge rather than be hidden away in Support and Advice

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Brilliant, really made me giggle. Have a good day folks

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Cheeseville, Somerset

"Sorry to add to your embarrassment but I think this deserves to go in the Lounge rather than be hidden away in Support and Advice

To reach a wider audience?

Soooo cruel!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 22/03/15 10:06:16]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why did Tigger look in the toilet?

He was looking for Pooh

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"OMFG, I have given birth to two children and never suffered the embarrassing and dreaded 'pooing in labour'.

We were having anal and then I lay on the kitchen table on my back and hubby made me squirt so hard that out popped a little surprise

I screamed 'don't look, don't look' so of course he looked and then ran away, only returning to chuck a toilet roll at me.

I was sliding around on my back, surrounded by what seemed like litres of squirt juice, like a poor turtle stranded on it's shell.

CANNOT BELIEVE IT

I realise that this post will ensure I never get a meet EVER AGAIN but it was so mortifying and funny that I felt I had to share with you lovely lot.

You're welcome xxx

How can I unread this?"

If you find out , let me know.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

All sat round the table for Sunday dinner will never quite be the same in their household.

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By *ere-for-my-convenienceWoman
over a year ago

West Midlands

I've experienced the odd rabbit pellet exiting the building shall we say

Worse things happen at sea

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This may be why piss enemas seem so popular with the kids these days

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

"Sorry to add to your embarrassment but I think this deserves to go in the Lounge rather than be hidden away in Support and Advice

The power you have at your fingertips!

OP, you'll still get plenty of meets but maybe not for dinner at your place.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Ha ha sorry Op this is so funny

giggidy

your more than just an arse, your a exploding arse!!

Only if I eat too much curry

cross that off the to do list ==== not a curry beer social before play kind of meet

I don't drink beer,lager or cider

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

"Sorry to add to your embarrassment but I think this deserves to go in the Lounge rather than be hidden away in Support and Advice

Cruel lady !

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

I still keep laughing at this bit more than the rest "I was sliding around on my back, surrounded by what seemed like litres of squirt juice, like a poor turtle stranded on it's shell."

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By *ackandkateCouple
over a year ago

Truro

"I still keep laughing at this bit more than the rest "I was sliding around on my back, surrounded by what seemed like litres of squirt juice, like a poor turtle stranded on it's shell."

Were those little turds like ball bearings then?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Ha ha sorry Op this is so funny

giggidy

your more than just an arse, your a exploding arse!!

Only if I eat too much curry

cross that off the to do list ==== not a curry beer social before play kind of meet

I don't drink beer,lager or cider

what's your poison then

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I still keep laughing at this bit more than the rest "I was sliding around on my back, surrounded by what seemed like litres of squirt juice, like a poor turtle stranded on it's shell."

Me too. What a mental image!

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

"I still keep laughing at this bit more than the rest "I was sliding around on my back, surrounded by what seemed like litres of squirt juice, like a poor turtle stranded on it's shell."

Were those little turds like ball bearings then?

No it was the squirty juice that did it

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By *ingle Beds LassWoman
over a year ago

Bedfordshire

I can't stop laffing at this!!!!! Thank you for sharing, I needed that laff

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By *inaTitzTV/TS
over a year ago

Titz Towers, North Notts

Where's the Andrex puppy when you have an emergency?

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By *omaMan
over a year ago

Glasgow

Now that did make me laugh. . Absolute classic!

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