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Status updates you dont understand

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By *urvymama OP   Woman
over a year ago

Doncaster

Im sure weve all gone through our local news feed from time to time and thought why would anyone post that?

Mine are as follows (will state these are not exact quotes just eaxamples);

1) Im bored - I always think, your gonna stay that way who wants to chat/meet to someone thats boring

2) *insert a username* needs to message me i so want to meets them but out their age filters so blocked - I just think its desperation and thats not exactly a turn on

So whats your WTF status moments?

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By *ere-for-my-convenienceWoman
over a year ago

West Midlands

[Removed by poster at 18/03/15 11:39:56]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I rarely check others status but I noticed one of my friends had been copying my status. She carried on doing this for about three months. It got very funny

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By *ere-for-my-convenienceWoman
over a year ago

West Midlands


"A people saying I'm bored

B people talking DIY "

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By *urvymama OP   Woman
over a year ago

Doncaster

Forgot one

3) im leaving this site its a waste of time - my translation give me a pity fuck please

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By *ere-for-my-convenienceWoman
over a year ago

West Midlands


"Forgot one

3) im leaving this site its a waste of time - my translation give me a pity fuck please "

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By *urvymama OP   Woman
over a year ago

Doncaster


"A people saying I'm bored

B people talking DIY "

wondered how long that would take lol. need to update now as im sat waiting for the paint to dry

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod

over a year ago

East Sussex

All the passive aggressive ones and those ending in "you know who you are", well yes I do know who I am but do you need to announce it in your status?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

...even funnier when they spell it board! Yeah, you are a bit of a plank!!

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By *urvymama OP   Woman
over a year ago

Doncaster


"...even funnier when they spell it board! Yeah, you are a bit of a plank!! "

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By *ere-for-my-convenienceWoman
over a year ago

West Midlands

[Removed by poster at 18/03/15 11:47:55]

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By *ere-for-my-convenienceWoman
over a year ago

West Midlands


"A people saying I'm bored

B people talking DIY

wondered how long that would take lol. need to update now as im sat waiting for the paint to dry

Haha sorry

I was joking

Although decorating is a skill I've not had to master so I'd probably find your status updates really interesting

I like the status updates where they say the site is crap because no one meets

And they've been on a year or so with no photos or written any details and they've not even had the common sense to wonder why and changed their own profile "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I love the ones that announce *username* is the hottest/fittest/sexiest woman on this site.

Yeah...like I'm ever going to want to meet you now and feel like second best

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By *urvymama OP   Woman
over a year ago

Doncaster


"I love the ones that announce *username* is the hottest/fittest/sexiest woman on this site.

Yeah...like I'm ever going to want to meet you now and feel like second best "

ooh yea thats a good one too

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I love the ones that announce *username* is the hottest/fittest/sexiest woman on this site.

Yeah...like I'm ever going to want to meet you now and feel like second best

ooh yea thats a good one too"

Several people have been struck off my hot list for this..mwahahaha

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

the ones that constantly go on about fabbed pics - either asking or thanking - ok occasionally but every other day ffs

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

and the 'you know who you are 'ones

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've just read one from a female with no profile pic who states she's looking for a local meet tonight, with someone who's single, can accommodate and drive.

Single and accommodate I can understand, but to drive as well?

No give and take with her!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"All the passive aggressive ones and those ending in "you know who you are", well yes I do know who I am but do you need to announce it in your status?"

Yeah. This one. Or the ones that are veiled commentary on other people's lives and what they are up to. **yawn**

I always want to write them and say "FFS focus on the positive and get a life!"

But that's me.

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By *izzy RascallMan
over a year ago

Cardiff


"Im sure weve all gone through our local news feed from time to time and thought why would anyone post that?

Mine are as follows (will state these are not exact quotes just eaxamples);

1) Im bored - I always think, your gonna stay that way who wants to chat/meet to someone thats boring

2) *insert a username* needs to message me i so want to meets them but out their age filters so blocked - I just think its desperation and thats not exactly a turn on

So whats your WTF status moments?"

Hmmm that was nice thanks babe. (Just inbox him, as you were doing before the meet)

Oh I have accidentally deleted ALL my messages (this happens daily)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Out of messages...

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By *rank EinsteinMan
over a year ago

Burton upon stather

"so horny can't wait for a meet later" or "I'm a cum slut fill me up etc" posted frequently from people with no veris after a year on the site.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

a guy regular in my updates saying I got to many messages I reply when I can

he must be very unique lol

I love my public updates too funny

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By *issmorganWoman
over a year ago

Calderdale innit

Are there any women genuine on here? comes up alot

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Looking for fun..

No, you're not, you're here for sex..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

Oh I have accidentally deleted ALL my messages (this happens daily)"

This one.

That one makes me laugh like fuck because what that really means is:

"I got in a strop and deleted your message but I still want to fuck you and I realise NOW ..that deleting your message in my strop probably fucks that right up so i better say I accidently deleted ALL my messages so that he still fucks me and doesn't hate me"....

Makes me giggle like fuck.

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By *inaTitzTV/TS
over a year ago

Titz Towers, North Notts

I use mine to attempt humour.

I like the one's where someone is discussing their own drug use, or offering to hit someone. I like to block those peeps.

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By *izzy RascallMan
over a year ago

Cardiff


"

Oh I have accidentally deleted ALL my messages (this happens daily)

This one.

That one makes me laugh like fuck because what that really means is:

(to add to what you wrote)

I dont have any messages at the moment.

(sometimes)

"

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By *oobsandballsMan
over a year ago

st andrews

Hey (insert username), why have you blocked me?

Um, they can't see that because they've blocked you!

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By *oobsandballsMan
over a year ago

st andrews

"Oh, my partner is so sexy and hot, can't wait to get my hands on him/just had an amazing session with my man"

Yawn. Shut up.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"...even funnier when they spell it board! Yeah, you are a bit of a plank!! "
Lol some retard on here was spelling couple "cupple" the other day which prompted us to ask if they had had an edumacation ...lol

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By *oobsandballsMan
over a year ago

st andrews

"I'm free now, I can drive, anyone will do"

Cheers. I feel special.

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By *izzy RascallMan
over a year ago

Cardiff


"Hey (insert username), why have you blocked me?

Um, they can't see that because they've blocked you! "

Didnt know we had that feature, thanks for the tip.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


""Oh, my partner is so sexy and hot, can't wait to get my hands on him/just had an amazing session with my man"

Yawn. Shut up. "

How about him on her ...oh she has great tits and ass,loves long anal etc etc ...then her on him , oh my he is the fuck sent from the gods(graphic detail) I just love to see him pleasure women as he is the best ive ever had,no woman in her right mind could turn him down , he has a cock to die for ....etc etc etc...clearly wrote by a woman lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

status updates that's aimed at some one specific so it's an public conversation between 2 people- So Cringey

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

does that mean i have to take down me dolphin update...... its one i like and its one when you can tell if people are on the same wavelength as me....

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By *urvymama OP   Woman
over a year ago

Doncaster


"Hey (insert username), why have you blocked me?

Um, they can't see that because they've blocked you! "

another classic

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By *uited for youMan
over a year ago

Bristol


"Out of messages..."

Oh yes I have always wondered about this. Is there actually a message limit? I've been on fab for over a year now, sent a fair few messages but I can still happily message and have no issues!

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By *urvymama OP   Woman
over a year ago

Doncaster


"Out of messages...

Oh yes I have always wondered about this. Is there actually a message limit? I've been on fab for over a year now, sent a fair few messages but I can still happily message and have no issues!"

There is when your a nee mrmber that doesnt upgrade to being a site supporter. Believe the limits 100 in 24 hours

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think most have been covered but also photos that seem to be shown repeatedly in my News Feed even though they aren't new photos?! I didn't want to see the close up of a bum hole with piles the first time or that puddle of cum in your hand but yet I see the same photos pop up every few days?!

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By *uited for youMan
over a year ago

Bristol


"Out of messages...

Oh yes I have always wondered about this. Is there actually a message limit? I've been on fab for over a year now, sent a fair few messages but I can still happily message and have no issues!

There is when your a nee mrmber that doesnt upgrade to being a site supporter. Believe the limits 100 in 24 hours"

Ah I see thanks!! Hope you get your staircase done

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

the leaving announcements - and they stay

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The ones that say what they are doing it isn't Facebook

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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland

I chuckle at the "angry" ones; for example those that are threatening to delete all friends unless they get in touch with them (the poster) in the very near future....I think it is funny because people would not be motivated to then get in touch... on the contrary I would imagine?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I just put daft things up. I like to read through the updates as some are truly hilarious. Just as previous posters have said...all life can be seen here.

I would rather try to raise a smile than post a moany one but I have occasionally when someone has pi**ed me off.

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By *igeiaWoman
over a year ago

Bristol

I have my looking for turned off so I only see friends and hotlist updates regularly. There are two people on my friends list who have met/ do meet and when they do or are planning to they put up subtle statuses relating to each other; knowing them both virtually I find this really endearing. I do occasionally look at profiles of those who have winked, messaged or fabbed me and the amount of "girls on here aren't all that but why won't they reply" or "this site is full of time-waisters" (sic) or "need my balls emptied" status updates is both sad and amusing.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's pretty laughable the amount of 'cryptic' updates on here....almost as many as on the Facebook spying machine lol

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By *elsh n wildCouple
over a year ago

Cardiff area

I hate mother nature you bitch why do we need to know

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By *igeiaWoman
over a year ago

Bristol


"I hate mother nature you bitch why do we need to know "

Might prevent 'meet now' type messages? Not one I'd use myself as a status but I can kind of see why some people might choose to put that one up.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ranty updates slagging off other users, they say more about that person than the one they're slagging off. Not nice.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The ones written in a foreign language

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have been in someones status once so i messaged them, not met them or anything but had a chat.

I hate vague statuses, ones that your meets put that could apply to anyone (even yourself) but you don't know who they're for and i just think 'fucking player'...

I hate the bored ones too, if anyone mentions the word bored anywhere on their profile i don't reply to them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

we dont often put up a status and when we do its a bit tongue in cheek - twice we have said a cull is imminent - gets a reaction lol

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By *ILLY aka SirslagWoman
over a year ago

Land of the Prince Bishops


"does that mean i have to take down me dolphin update...... its one i like and its one when you can tell if people are on the same wavelength as me.... "
no wonder they do back flips in the water when their human approaches' with a pail ...free food time...

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By *andybeachWoman
over a year ago

In the middle

"My balls are full, who wants to suck me dry" has me running to their rescue every time

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It doesn't bother me that much what someone puts up as their status. It's their profile, they can do as they please.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Guys stop messaging me I'm straight (well change your bloody filters then)!!

Also, "sorry guys can't meet the missus is ill" and subsequent updates thereafter.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It doesn't bother me that much what someone puts up as their status. It's their profile, they can do as they please.

"

c St Popeye

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By *ymphobabe69Couple
over a year ago

Bristol

[Removed by poster at 18/03/15 20:39:25]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ready to play today, hubby only, wife not well...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Or the

cum fuck me now anyone will do

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

*insert username* can anyone take me to a club and spoil me?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Im bored I will suck your cock dry

Usually male straight posters

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"thanks for making me feel so good tonight babe, you know who you are"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

1) new account forgot my password

2) new account, old one was hacked

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"1) new account forgot my password

2) new account, old one was hacked"

child free/brats in the way of swinging usually around the summer holidays these posts crop up....fancy putting swinging before your children

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod

over a year ago

East Sussex


"1) new account forgot my password

2) new account, old one was hacked"

Both code for my wife found out or my old profile was banned.

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By *MaleMan
over a year ago

The hotlist status updates can be an education in the minds out there at times But they can come in handy

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

People moaning about being horny. We're all horny else we wouldn't be on here!

Also people going on about NSA fun. Really? Damn, and I was after a husband/wife on here...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you don't understand mine it's not directed to you!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just seen one

''Catch me if you can ''

Ummmmm you Sir are no Leonardo

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