FabSwingers.com forum: Honesty is best...

By *aidback pair OP Couple
over a year ago

Leeds

when a guy is messaging , I wish they would be upfront straight away and say they are married instead of wasting our time...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Should be on profile in some shape way or form make my point clear a hard people lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well really..it depends how quickly you ask the question doesn't it?..

See..

If you don't ask the question you won't get an answer UNTIL you ask that question.

Unless it's already written on their profile.

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By *ere-for-my-convenienceWoman
over a year ago

West Midlands

Let's just tattoo all married people on their forehead on the day they get married

Just to be sure

And shout unclean

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm honest about it and get abused for it. I can understand why some dont.

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By *aidback pair OP Couple
over a year ago

Leeds

I mean when they are playing as a single guy and you get a feeling they are lying and then they admit it...I've talked to a guy and in his second sentence he told me he was married...honesty is better...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i would prefer it if there was a relationship status where people select from..

but it is one of the 1st questions i ask.

people do lie and i detest dishonesty..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This is one of the reasons I have it on my profile...saves me wasting my time and theirs.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I agree with honesty policy, if they are married they should let you know from outset so you can make informed decision whether to continue chatting or not

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

In general, it's best not to lie, right?

When you're both not hiding anything the experience is bound to be less stressful.

Fess up, liars

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ask to call them at the weekend

Her

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By *oobsandballsMan
over a year ago

st andrews

We have it on our profile, always upfront about it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"This is one of the reasons I have it on my profile...saves me wasting my time and theirs. "

I agree that's it best people can make informed choices by having the facts to hand. If they're ok with it cool, if not they know to move on.

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By *aidback pair OP Couple
over a year ago

Leeds

Exactly...we are playing as a couple and we aren't hurting anyone and we are totally honest with everyone who messages us..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Exactly...we are playing as a couple and we aren't hurting anyone and we are totally honest with everyone who messages us.."

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

"Well really..it depends how quickly you ask the question doesn't it?..

See..

If you don't ask the question you won't get an answer UNTIL you ask that question.

Unless it's already written on their profile. "

I usually ask the question in the second message. Some still don't give you the truthful answer until the third meet though.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Excuse me, but when does your hubby leave for work?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I get that a lot too despite the first sentence of my profile explaining I don't meet married/attached guys so if its not clear on their profile it kind of wastes both our time.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Well really..it depends how quickly you ask the question doesn't it?..

See..

If you don't ask the question you won't get an answer UNTIL you ask that question.

Unless it's already written on their profile.

I usually ask the question in the second message. Some still don't give you the truthful answer until the third meet though.

same here lickety.. im still hacked off with the guy as id never have met him.

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

"Well really..it depends how quickly you ask the question doesn't it?..

See..

If you don't ask the question you won't get an answer UNTIL you ask that question.

Unless it's already written on their profile.

I usually ask the question in the second message. Some still don't give you the truthful answer until the third meet though.

same here lickety.. im still hacked off with the guy as id never have met him.

I had one tell me he was a widower. It wasn't amusing when she came back to life after apparently being dead for a decade.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Well really..it depends how quickly you ask the question doesn't it?..

See..

If you don't ask the question you won't get an answer UNTIL you ask that question.

Unless it's already written on their profile.

I usually ask the question in the second message. Some still don't give you the truthful answer until the third meet though.

same here lickety.. im still hacked off with the guy as id never have met him.

I had one tell me he was a widower. It wasn't amusing when she came back to life after apparently being dead for a decade.

The smell of Prawns must have been awful

Gimp

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Well really..it depends how quickly you ask the question doesn't it?..

See..

If you don't ask the question you won't get an answer UNTIL you ask that question.

Unless it's already written on their profile.

I usually ask the question in the second message. Some still don't give you the truthful answer until the third meet though.

same here lickety.. im still hacked off with the guy as id never have met him.

I had one tell me he was a widower. It wasn't amusing when she came back to life after apparently being dead for a decade.

oh shit..

just annoyed me how this guy was/is so popular amungst a lot of us yet lied to so many.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What have I missed?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What have I missed?

Eastenders

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What have I missed?

jumps up n down..

hellooooo

yooo hooooo

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

"What have I missed?

Nothing new. The attached should declare it.

I understand people not putting it on their profile. I don't judge what brings married people here as I'm not in their relationship. (Plus, I chat to lots of married people via the forum and have met some socially and if their partner doesn't know they are on here it probably feels as bad for that person as finding out they are having sex). However, when asked I think a straight answer should be given so that the other person can make an informed choice.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What have I missed?

jumps up n down..

hellooooo

yooo hooooo

Will you stop jumping and just give me that kiss please?!

But, on a serious note. As you guys have already mentioned. If you don't ask, you won't know. If the alarm bells don't ring in your head and you have nothing to expect - i'd put that down to life experiences.

I'm 25 and the amount of things i've seen people do and get away with throughout the years i've been on here are surreal. Especially, the women that fall for it head over heels. Worries me sometimes.

May be quite a naive thing to say. But, should be us young ones who are making these sort of mistakes and not those you'd expect not to.

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

I really think there should be a status on the profile alongside: straight, gay, etc, to have single, attached, married, divorced....whatever.

It would save people wasting each other's time.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Well really..it depends how quickly you ask the question doesn't it?..

See..

If you don't ask the question you won't get an answer UNTIL you ask that question.

Unless it's already written on their profile.

I usually ask the question in the second message. Some still don't give you the truthful answer until the third meet though.

same here lickety.. im still hacked off with the guy as id never have met him.

I had one tell me he was a widower. It wasn't amusing when she came back to life after apparently being dead for a decade.

oh shit..

just annoyed me how this guy was/is so popular amungst a lot of us yet lied to so many. "

It always surprises me how many handsome, charming, professional, ripped and hung bachelors of an age when they'd be prime husband or at least boyfriend material are on here... all these absolutely amazing singletons! You ladies really are so lucky ...

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By *inkxRabbitWoman
over a year ago

Mostly in GU24

I've only met one guy for whom my marital status was a problem. There was one who took flight as soon as I told him I was married, at the initial messaging stage, blocked and reported me. Tsk.

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By *arkwolf66Woman
over a year ago

Horsham,

Despite having it clearly on my profile that I don't meet married or attached guys, I still get them messaging and trying their luck and lying about it, also the guys that claim to be in couples that arn't,

Having been on the receiving end of threatening phone calls and texts from outraged wives and girlfriends, maybe these guys should consider how it affects everyone else and why we make these conditions in the first place before they go ahead and lie anyway, most give themselves away very quickly by having limited meeting times etc ,having said all that, it just comes with the territory on these kind of sites and if their not considering their partners why would they give a flying fuck about a sneaky shag on the side?

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By *ce WingerMan
over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

I was in a relationship with a woman up until 2 years ago, even though she didn't want to be on here she knew I was and even took some of ma pics. Anyone that I met was fully aware of this, although not everyone asked or seemed remotely bothered to be honest.

I'm young, free and single now btw

Well, free & single anyway

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

"I was in a relationship with a woman up until 2 years ago, even though she didn't want to be on here she knew I was and even took some of ma pics. Anyone that I met was fully aware of this, although not everyone asked or seemed remotely bothered to be honest.

I'm young, free and single now btw

Well, free & single anyway

I know attached people who are here with permission/consent but others find it difficult to believe that. It's tricky.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Well really..it depends how quickly you ask the question doesn't it?..

See..

If you don't ask the question you won't get an answer UNTIL you ask that question.

Unless it's already written on their profile.

I usually ask the question in the second message. Some still don't give you the truthful answer until the third meet though.

same here lickety.. im still hacked off with the guy as id never have met him.

I had one tell me he was a widower. It wasn't amusing when she came back to life after apparently being dead for a decade.

The smell of Prawns must have been awful

Gimp"
giggidy

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By *ce WingerMan
over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

I'm young, free and single now btw

Well, free & single anyway

I know attached people who are here with permission/consent but others find it difficult to believe that. It's tricky.

Yeah, I suppose that's why so many feel the need to deceive others in order to get a meet. I'd sooner go without if that was the case.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm young, free and single now btw

Well, free & single anyway

I know attached people who are here with permission/consent but others find it difficult to believe that. It's tricky.

I'm here with consent......she's on here too and will probably read this in the morning (morning you)

She has her own account for her thing, I have this for my thing, and we have a couples account for our things

I'd find it a bit odd were she not on here though....I'd feel silly explaining that I was attatched but had permission without having the ability to point her out to people and to say 'if you want to check....go ask her'

I can see why some folk would take the attatched but with permission thing with a pinch of salt.....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"when a guy is messaging , I wish they would be upfront straight away and say they are married instead of wasting our time..."

Until they start declaring their undying loyalty to you, then start running.

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By *oby tykeMan
over a year ago

south yorks

i have it on my profile, honesty is allways best..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"i would prefer it if there was a relationship status where people select from..

but it is one of the 1st questions i ask.

people do lie and i detest dishonesty.. "

This

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"when a guy is messaging , I wish they would be upfront straight away and say they are married instead of wasting our time...

Until they start declaring their undying loyalty to you, then start running. "

Been a while that lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I know its not to everyone's taste but I make it clear in my profile.

I think its important to be honest in my dishonesty.

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By *helbeeCouple
over a year ago

Nuneaton

Some guys dont but u can tell they are by wanting to meet at certain times, time limit as they have to get back to their wife, the wedding ring they have pictured in their photo or photos in their profile they forgot to take off,

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By *dventuroususCouple
over a year ago

sunderland

"Well really..it depends how quickly you ask the question doesn't it?..

See..

If you don't ask the question you won't get an answer UNTIL you ask that question.

Unless it's already written on their profile. "

shouldnt need to ask, this is a swingers site, information like that should be openly on the profile to allow peopleto make an informed choice, not saying anything or lying to drag people into a web of lies unwittingly is wrong.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I used to have it on my profile but copped abuse for it. There's some right judgemental wankers on here. So now if I get messaged I tell them in my first reply.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Its interesting; the demand for openness and honesty in what is (essentially) a lifestyle choice with its roots in anonymity and secrecy from general society, which is vilified and discouraged by much of mainstream media.

The demands of honesty in an environment where we are repeatedly told we are entitled to nothing.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ideally it would be nice to have it on a persons profile as I tend to make first contact a lot although I understand why some don't put it however, as its clear I'm not interested in married/attached guys on my profile, it would be nice for guys that don't have it to say as soon as I message. A couple of times this hasn't happened and one guy I spent a week messaging on here then texting to arrange a meet only to be told the day before the meet he was married. Quite frustrating and time wasted.

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

"Its interesting; the demand for openness and honesty in what is (essentially) a lifestyle choice with its roots in anonymity and secrecy from general society, which is vilified and discouraged by much of mainstream media.

The demands of honesty in an environment where we are repeatedly told we are entitled to nothing. "

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

I think people would be very naive if they thought everyone told the truth on here and as married men get enough abuse and lectures on here it doesn't surprise me that they don't let on.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I used to have it on my profile but copped abuse for it. There's some right judgemental wankers on here. So now if I get messaged I tell them in my first reply. "

I get nasty messages about it too. I'd still rather hit delete and block than waste my time putting effort into messaging someone who then isn't going to want to meet when they find out.

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

"I think people would be very naive if they thought everyone told the truth on here and as married men get enough abuse and lectures on here it doesn't surprise me that they don't let on."

I agree. As I have stated, I chat to married people on the forum all the time - most of us do - so I won't be hypocritical and condemn for being here. I just ask that a straight question asked is answered in a straight way.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I used to have it on my profile but copped abuse for it. There's some right judgemental wankers on here. So now if I get messaged I tell them in my first reply.

I get nasty messages about it too. I'd still rather hit delete and block than waste my time putting effort into messaging someone who then isn't going to want to meet when they find out. "

Being as I reply to every message, and tell them I'm not single in my first (sometimes only reply) that's not an issue for me.

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By *inaTitzTV/TS
over a year ago

Titz Towers, North Notts

I used to have:

'I'm married, my wife knows I do this, but doesn't play'

on my profile and all I got was speculative messages asking would she be there, would she change her mind if she saw their pics, would she do their make up (she doesn't do mine so why should she do theirs?), would she like to watch and so on. Hence I took it off.

How it works for us is that we live very separate lives. I have this, which she knows about, if not all the details of where I am on a given night. She has a boyfriend she sees, who is a jolly nice chap.

I could put all of that on my profile, but I'm thinking of changing back to Bullseye and it doesn't read right in the voice of Tony Green.

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By *eithoWoman
over a year ago

Chatham

I very rarely bother to ask as so many will lie. Instead I take my time to get to know people and its usually pretty obvious when they're attached. Various factors give it away.

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

"I think people would be very naive if they thought everyone told the truth on here and as married men get enough abuse and lectures on here it doesn't surprise me that they don't let on.

For everything Lickerty? We used to have different names when we first started (until I couldn't figure out why our first meet was calling me Susan)

Although now we don't and any questions we don't want to answer we just say so, but as it is just NSA for us, we don't know or care if people are telling us their fantasy life instead of their real one. We might not believe them but I doubt if it is a rare thing on here.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I used to have:

'I'm married, my wife knows I do this, but doesn't play'

I could put all of that on my profile, but I'm thinking of changing back to Bullseye and it doesn't read right in the voice of Tony Green.

The Bullseye one is my favourite

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

I didn't ask as my profile (when visible) states how I play. So unless the wife is blind or doesn't care married men avoided me like the plague!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I very rarely bother to ask as so many will lie. Instead I take my time to get to know people and its usually pretty obvious when they're attached. Various factors give it away."

yep.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I/we always ask the question whether their profile says it or not. A busy unpredictable work life here means we need to know if our calendars will match with 'them'and their 'wives/girlfriends'-normally it doesn't!. We find the single guys a little more flexible with their time ?

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

"I think people would be very naive if they thought everyone told the truth on here and as married men get enough abuse and lectures on here it doesn't surprise me that they don't let on.

For everything Lickerty? We used to have different names when we first started (until I couldn't figure out why our first meet was calling me Susan)

I'd rather know. I'm not concerned about real names but as I hope to meet one to one meets more than once then being clear on the potential traps is helpful.

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By *issmorganWoman
over a year ago

Calderdale innit

"What have I missed?

Nothing new. The attached should declare it.

Agree i always ask but had an experience where i met someone a few times before finding out he lied .If people are honest you then get the choice to meet knowing the facts.

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By *ikeC81Man
over a year ago

harrow

I am single and honest about it

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By *trawberry-popWoman
over a year ago

South East Midlands NOT

I'd rather people were honest about everything. Eg being straight/bi etc. Or married. Or whatever!

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

"I think people would be very naive if they thought everyone told the truth on here and as married men get enough abuse and lectures on here it doesn't surprise me that they don't let on.

For everything Lickerty? We used to have different names when we first started (until I couldn't figure out why our first meet was calling me Susan)

I'd rather know. I'm not concerned about real names but as I hope to meet one to one meets more than once then being clear on the potential traps is helpful.

Yeah we would rather know too, but we doubt if we have been told the truth about it everytime the question is asked. Like someone else said, it is down to us to figure out if they are telling the truth or not as they can easily say " no" when you ask them are you married.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'd rather people were honest about everything. Eg being straight/bi etc. Or married. Or whatever! "

and u will find the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow if this happened :P

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By *hortieWoman
over a year ago

Northampton

Just my opinion based on how I treat this -

If I asked a guy if he were single, he could still lie lol.

I respect the guys who state they are married or have a partner, they won't be for me, but fair play for their honesty.. a lot of people will play with them

I am firmly in the camp of 'what I don't know wont hurt me', so as long as I never know (if they are attached and lying) then I will play if we click. If I later find out they have been lying, then it would be a 'cheers and thanks for the laughs, cya' from me

I'm here for my own enjoyment, not to nanny and complain about how others run their life and profile

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By *inaTitzTV/TS
over a year ago

Titz Towers, North Notts

"I used to have:

'I'm married, my wife knows I do this, but doesn't play'

I could put all of that on my profile, but I'm thinking of changing back to Bullseye and it doesn't read right in the voice of Tony Green.

The Bullseye one is my favourite

I've changed it back

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I used to have:

'I'm married, my wife knows I do this, but doesn't play'

I could put all of that on my profile, but I'm thinking of changing back to Bullseye and it doesn't read right in the voice of Tony Green.

The Bullseye one is my favourite

I've changed it back

Yay!

Enjoy your song!

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