FabSwingers.com forum: owned

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

we really dont get how someone can say someone owns them and you have to ask there owner if they can play.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Depending on level of ownership, some people are not allowed to have their own thoughts or ideas. Although this might seem somewhat abusive to people who believe in equality in relationship, if both parties consent then it's mutually fun and enjoyable.

It can be a form of psychological relief for some people to be owned, because they get a break from making decisions themselves.

Usually people get to know each other, and their subs likes/dislikes, what they're willing to do, what they fantasize about doing and being forced to do, and the owner will act on these things.

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By *asokittyWoman
over a year ago

Nr Worksop

"Depending on level of ownership, some people are not allowed to have their own thoughts or ideas. Although this might seem somewhat abusive to people who believe in equality in relationship, if both parties consent then it's mutually fun and enjoyable.

It can be a form of psychological relief for some people to be owned, because they get a break from making decisions themselves.

Usually people get to know each other, and their subs likes/dislikes, what they're willing to do, what they fantasize about doing and being forced to do, and the owner will act on these things. "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It can be a form of psychological relief for some people to be owned, because they get a break from making decisions themselves.

Usually people get to know each other, and their subs likes/dislikes, what they're willing to do, what they fantasize about doing and being forced to do, and the owner will act on these things. "

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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk

"we really dont get how someone can say someone owns them and you have to ask there owner if they can play."

Different people like different things. If you don't understand it, don't do it.

Do you need to understand it for some reason? If not, don't worry about it.

I don't like mushrooms or celery and can't understand how anyone can, but they do.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"we really dont get how someone can say someone owns them and you have to ask there owner if they can play.

Different people like different things. If you don't understand it, don't do it.

Do you need to understand it for some reason? If not, don't worry about it.

I don't like mushrooms or celery and can't understand how anyone can, but they do."

You don't like mushrooms - what sort of perverted place is this!!!

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By *londeCazWoman
over a year ago

Arse End of the Universe, Cumbria

It can be a form of psychological relief for some people to be owned, because they get a break from making decisions themselves.

Usually people get to know each other, and their subs likes/dislikes, what they're willing to do, what they fantasize about doing and being forced to do, and the owner will act on these things. "

That's one of the most reasonable and helpful posts I've seen regarding ownership

Submission is something I struggle to understand and I only do it as part of very occasional role play (although I love that role play)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It can be a form of psychological relief for some people to be owned, because they get a break from making decisions themselves.

Usually people get to know each other, and their subs likes/dislikes, what they're willing to do, what they fantasize about doing and being forced to do, and the owner will act on these things. "

Brilliant reply

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

"we really dont get how someone can say someone owns them and you have to ask there owner if they can play."

Ok thanks for telling us.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"That's one of the most reasonable and helpful posts I've seen regarding ownership

Submission is something I struggle to understand and I only do it as part of very occasional role play (although I love that role play) "

You're welcome. And thanks to everyone who thumbed it.

Yeah, i struggled to get my head round it when it was first introduced to me, so i do like explaining what i know to other people who don't get it. And i enjoy more stuff now i get it more (humiliation seemed horrible when my ex first asked me to do it, now i get it, it isn't that bad as i thought it was and i enjoy giving it out).

It doesn't have to be literal ownership even, some people just like the other person to take the lead once in a while so they can lie back and take it...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It can be a form of psychological relief for some people to be owned, because they get a break from making decisions themselves.

Usually people get to know each other, and their subs likes/dislikes, what they're willing to do, what they fantasize about doing and being forced to do, and the owner will act on these things. "

Well said...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

owned is a step too far for myself, but very submissive, only in the bedroom. Im solely responsible for everything in my life, work decisions, childcare, parenting, house, etc, I like to had over the control, switch off my busy brain, and just relax, and enjoy it, its a major relief to loose control and do as Im told, always been submissive to a degree, but the more pressure and stress in the real world, the further Iv been willing to immerse myself during play time. for me its strictly bedroom only, rest of my life is mine and Im too head strong and independent to be owned, but can see the appeal even tho it isn't for me.

plenty of kinks that are not for me and that I don't understand the attraction, doesn't mean there is anything wrong with it, no judgement, I just move on and find people more of my own mindset.x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

".........

plenty of kinks that are not for me and that I don't understand the attraction, doesn't mean there is anything wrong with it, no judgement, I just move on and find people more of my own mindset.x"

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By *inaTitzTV/TS
over a year ago

Titz Towers, North Notts

I think it's great for the people who are into it. I do wish plastic doms would pack in messaging asking if they can own me, though

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think it's great for the people who are into it. I do wish plastic doms would pack in messaging asking if they can own me, though

I don't see the sense in ownership nowadays, Surely Leasing or Rental takes all the effort out of regular servicing

Greybeard Gimp

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ownership is a beautiful thing, it's not something I have the time for, but just like submission it's about handing over responsibility and therefore removing the guilt from the scene

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"That's one of the most reasonable and helpful posts I've seen regarding ownership

Submission is something I struggle to understand and I only do it as part of very occasional role play (although I love that role play)

You're welcome. And thanks to everyone who thumbed it.

It doesn't have to be literal ownership even, some people just like the other person to take the lead once in a while so they can lie back and take it...

Thanks for the explanation.. I've been thinking about this for a while and you summed it up perfectly. It now all clicks into place.

The psychological relief is what appeals to me. Although it would take a very very mentally strong and capable man to be able to do that for me. Any sign of weakness on any level, would not allow me to release myself on that level.

God I hope I find someone in this lifetime

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By *ittle Pocket PerveWoman
over a year ago

Portsmouth

It can be a form of psychological relief for some people to be owned, because they get a break from making decisions themselves.

Usually people get to know each other, and their subs likes/dislikes, what they're willing to do, what they fantasize about doing and being forced to do, and the owner will act on these things. "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"That's one of the most reasonable and helpful posts I've seen regarding ownership

Submission is something I struggle to understand and I only do it as part of very occasional role play (although I love that role play)

You're welcome. And thanks to everyone who thumbed it.

It doesn't have to be literal ownership even, some people just like the other person to take the lead once in a while so they can lie back and take it...

You have a fucking brilliant outlook and way with words.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm 'owned' by my Mistress but only when I'm with her.

She knows my limits. The kind of people I fancy. What I like to do.

It's exciting being told to suck someone off or to go into a room and please them. It appears I'm doing it just because ive been told to but she knows she's giving me what I want. It's just role play. She wouldn't 'make' me play with someone I don't like.

I love being controlled and it breaks the ice for me with people, men and women, who I may otherwise have let pass me by.

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By *ere-for-my-convenienceWoman
over a year ago

Tenbury Wells

It'd a slave/Domme thing

Rather like how marriage used to be for many women in the past lol

My slaves WANT me to limit their options because it turns them on

Its really very simple

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"we really dont get how someone can say someone owns them and you have to ask there owner if they can play."

We are a Dom/sub couple but I would never claim to own L or tell her who she can or cannot meet and I would never call myself her "master", I think people who claim to own or be owned are missing something in life.

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By *ere-for-my-convenienceWoman
over a year ago

Tenbury Wells

I'm not missing anything whatsoever in my life

It's just a sexual preference like any other

There is a slave "ownership register" whereby slaves regularly asked for themselves to be listed

I've not used it myself... Yet

But I will when I want to

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There is no such thing as owning somebody really is there? the sub can leave at any time so its not real ownership it's just a game, role play I suppose

Unless you are talking about people who really have no choice but to stay against their will but I think that would be classed as modern day slavery and iligal

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm not missing anything whatsoever in my life

It's just a sexual preference like any other

There is a slave "ownership register" whereby slaves regularly asked for themselves to be listed

I've not used it myself... Yet

But I will when I want to

Don't get touchy love,or if you're going to at least ask your owner

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"There is no such thing as owning somebody really is there? the sub can leave at any time so its not real ownership it's just a game, role play I suppose

Unless you are talking about people who really have no choice but to stay against their will but I think that would be classed as modern day slavery and iligal "

Good point well made

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

Just don't get it but there are some good posts on the subject

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Bullshit, I would not let anyone own me!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Bullshit, I would not let anyone own me! "

You go girl!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It can be a form of psychological relief for some people to be owned, because they get a break from making decisions themselves.

Usually people get to know each other, and their subs likes/dislikes, what they're willing to do, what they fantasize about doing and being forced to do, and the owner will act on these things. "

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By *ere-for-my-convenienceWoman
over a year ago

Tenbury Wells

"I'm not missing anything whatsoever in my life

It's just a sexual preference like any other

There is a slave "ownership register" whereby slaves regularly asked for themselves to be listed

I've not used it myself... Yet

But I will when I want to

Don't get touchy love,or if you're going to at least ask your owner

Mr"

That's no even funny

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"That's one of the most reasonable and helpful posts I've seen regarding ownership

Submission is something I struggle to understand and I only do it as part of very occasional role play (although I love that role play)

You're welcome. And thanks to everyone who thumbed it.

It doesn't have to be literal ownership even, some people just like the other person to take the lead once in a while so they can lie back and take it...

Thanks for the explanation.. I've been thinking about this for a while and you summed it up perfectly. It now all clicks into place.

God I hope I find someo ne in this lifetime

"
If you are ever in Leeds

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It can be a form of psychological relief for some people to be owned, because they get a break from making decisions themselves.

Usually people get to know each other, and their subs likes/dislikes, what they're willing to do, what they fantasize about doing and being forced to do, and the owner will act on these things. "

I've always wondered in these relationship who's really in charge and I've often through the sub

If the owner is acting on what the sub like and wants and acts on these like/dislikes I really don't see how that's being owned

I don't mean to be pedantic but in my mind I see the sub being the owner as they are calling the shots and saying what they are willing to do

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It can be a form of psychological relief for some people to be owned, because they get a break from making decisions themselves.

Usually people get to know each other, and their subs likes/dislikes, what they're willing to do, what they fantasize about doing and being forced to do, and the owner will act on these things.

I've always wondered in these relationship who's really in charge and I've often through the sub

If the owner is acting on what the sub like and wants and acts on these like/dislikes I really don't see how that's being owned

I don't mean to be pedantic but in my mind I see the sub being the owner as they are calling the shots and saying what they are willing to do"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A friend once told me not to doubt my power as a submissive, a master can only be a master with a submissive, without a submissive he is a dominant man.

If that makes sense x

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By *ona29Woman
over a year ago

Northampton

"we really dont get how someone can say someone owns them and you have to ask there owner if they can play.

Different people like different things. If you don't understand it, don't do it.

Do you need to understand it for some reason? If not, don't worry about it.

I don't like mushrooms or celery and can't understand how anyone can, but they do."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If anyone would like to own me, I'm open to offers. One previous owner, good little runner, low mileage and excellent service history

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By *immy2xMan
over a year ago

aberdeen/inverness/ highlands

Ive read some very odd and weird stuff on here.

But to not like mushrooms. Thats the fucking filth, the dirt.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"A friend once told me not to doubt my power as a submissive, a master can only be a master with a submissive, without a submissive he is a dominant man.

If that makes sense x"
perfect sense

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By *MaleMan
over a year ago

For fems that are owned it usually manifests in the fem realising she's going along with nothing more than a trick to selectively stop her meeting others, meeting anyone else.

Masters and doms is one thing and very different. Owned is normally a disguise, a trick as described above

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

see i can see owned in the bdsm sense.... but what i don't get is the latest vogue for people to meet, meet someone in for example in a club, get on well.. and then to suddenly say they are owned by that person....

if you want to be exclusive or then want to just play with that person as a couple, then fine..... but thats not really being owned now is it....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"A friend once told me not to doubt my power as a submissive, a master can only be a master with a submissive, without a submissive he is a dominant man.

If that makes sense x"

Im owned and I love it for me its a totally personal journey something thats so beautiful im sure my Master was sent to me from heaven Xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My boss thinks he owns me well here's a message to him if he's on fab , do you fuck !!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"A friend once told me not to doubt my power as a submissive, a master can only be a master with a submissive, without a submissive he is a dominant man.

If that makes sense x

Im owned and I love it for me its a totally personal journey something thats so beautiful im sure my Master was sent to me from heaven Xx "

Lucky girl, you have a very good master x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There does seem to be a lot of confusion between a Slave and a submissive, A alave will do what they are told at all times and a submissive generally in this game at least is purely a sexual trait.

And as someone previously said the Submissive ALWAYS is in ultimate control .. As it should be

Generalisation Gimp

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By *oconut2Woman
over a year ago

Nether regions of the back of beyond

It can be a form of psychological relief for some people to be owned, because they get a break from making decisions themselves.

Usually people get to know each other, and their subs likes/dislikes, what they're willing to do, what they fantasize about doing and being forced to do, and the owner will act on these things. "

After thinking about it a lot over the last few months it's something I'd quite like to get into

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"My boss thinks he owns me well here's a message to him if he's on fab , do you fuck !!!!

"
sacked!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It can be a form of psychological relief for some people to be owned, because they get a break from making decisions themselves.

Usually people get to know each other, and their subs likes/dislikes, what they're willing to do, what they fantasize about doing and being forced to do, and the owner will act on these things.

After thinking about it a lot over the last few months it's something I'd quite like to get into "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It can be a form of psychological relief for some people to be owned, because they get a break from making decisions themselves.

Usually people get to know each other, and their subs likes/dislikes, what they're willing to do, what they fantasize about doing and being forced to do, and the owner will act on these things.

After thinking about it a lot over the last few months it's something I'd quite like to get into "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If your ever in Leeds

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"A friend once told me not to doubt my power as a submissive, a master can only be a master with a submissive, without a submissive he is a dominant man.

If that makes sense x

Im owned and I love it for me its a totally personal journey something thats so beautiful im sure my Master was sent to me from heaven Xx

Lucky girl, you have a very good master x "

The best think my Master has taught me is to love myself. Yes im very lucky n totally spoilt

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"A friend once told me not to doubt my power as a submissive, a master can only be a master with a submissive, without a submissive he is a dominant man.

If that makes sense x

Im owned and I love it for me its a totally personal journey something thats so beautiful im sure my Master was sent to me from heaven Xx

Lucky girl, you have a very good master x

The best think my Master has taught me is to love myself. Yes im very lucky n totally spoilt "

Enjoy it lovely, I'm sure you make him very proud xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"In many cases a submissive is a strong person, looking for someone stronger"

Sara

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"we really dont get how someone can say someone owns them and you have to ask there owner if they can play."

There are Many things I don't get... If I think that I will benefit from understanding it I may try to... But somethings I just don't need to understand except that other people enjoy it and I don't.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've always wondered in these relationship who's really in charge and I've often through the sub

If the owner is acting on what the sub like and wants and acts on these like/dislikes I really don't see how that's being owned

I don't mean to be pedantic but in my mind I see the sub being the owner as they are calling the shots and saying what they are willing to do"

I am in charge of my sub. He doesn't dictate any activity to me. I sometimes say 'I fancy doing this, how would you feel about it?' and let him give input, but he doesn't get to ask for things. Ever.

We're in an master/owner relationship - that is within a kink context, not in an 'illegal slavery' way.

Ownership is about getting inside someones head and treating them a certain way. I treat him as my property when I spend time with him. Sure, he can get up and walk out the house any time he wants, but he won't get a second chance at our partnership.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

""In many cases a submissive is a strong person, looking for someone stronger"

Sara"

Totally this

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I've always wondered in these relationship who's really in charge and I've often through the sub

If the owner is acting on what the sub like and wants and acts on these like/dislikes I really don't see how that's being owned

I don't mean to be pedantic but in my mind I see the sub being the owner as they are calling the shots and saying what they are willing to do"

Kind of, but only because most Dom/Domme aren't complete psychopaths who force people to do anything and everything. We want our sub to be happy because ultimately we do care for them (even love them), so yes the sub also has some control over what happens, even tell us their fantasies that they've never tried out and expect us to make them happen.

Ultimately thought they hand over responsibility to you, as much as they want to. Just because kinky sex is likely to be involved doesn't really make it that different from any other relationship. Both people find a balance between themselves that makes them both happy.

Submission is just handing over responsibility to a person that you trust to look after you. It doesn't really matter who actually is in charge, it's the psychological factor involved where one person wants the other to take charge and make them feel like they aren't in control. Well that's how i always saw it anyway.

You do sort of own them, because you know what they like and are willing to give them that, and they will love you for it. But they also own you too yeah.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"My boss thinks he owns me well here's a message to him if he's on fab , do you fuck !!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't get all this master/slave/ownership stuff either but it's just a fantasy, role play thing and people can do what they like.

I wouldn't be submissive to anyone. I have noticed an increase in the amount of people getting into it, perhaps BDSM is taking over from the squirting craze

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By *aster n subCouple
over a year ago

pickering

In my eyes a sub has ultimate control because lets face it if they didnt want it it aint going to happen. And the term owned means they are loyal to you no one else has control over them .

Some people see it as role playing which is fine and healthy to explore we on the other hand live it 24/7 which is totaly different it isnt full on all the time but always underlying just one look or tone of voice and she goes into what i call sub mode but normally you wouldn't be able to tell .everyone is different and we all have little kinks or preferences so who are we to judge whether you are a full dom sub couple switch or just like a bit of role play its what makes us individual and as for them who say its abuse please refer to my first remark if the person dosnt want it it wont happen its only when you force them into doing it then its abuse.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 16/03/15 15:26:07]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Here's the thing...

I've read this thread from top to bottom.

I don't think anyone actually wants to be owned.

I think some just want to be wanted.

Once you're wanted by someone, then that same person says "right, Now I want to own you"..

Those who "thought" they wanted to be owned will now tell that SAME person to fuck off, because that now sounds a bit like "who the fuck is this guy and what exactly does he mean?"...

Because at it's most fundamental level, very FEW people actually want to be owned in it's literal meaning.

I don't mind taking control in a sexual sense, I'm naturally that way inclined anyway, but any women who wants their lives "mapped out" by me turns me right

off, it's not something that appeals to me in the slightest. I like independent women.

Personally, I think those who want to be OWNED 24X7, told what to wear, when to sleep, reporting to someone on DEMAND, when to wank, when not to wank (because that's what being owned means), I think those people have something missing in their lives and being owned to that degree isn't going to fill it.

That's not fun.

To my mind there is a massive difference between being submissive sexually inside the bedroom and being outright owned.

This is just my opinion. Which obviously is just my opinion.

Tin Hat On.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"In my eyes a sub has ultimate control because lets face it if they didnt want it it aint going to happen. And the term owned means they are loyal to you no one else has control over them .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ownership is a specific kink term. It doesn't always mean those things.

It's more of a description of a style of relationship. Like TPE, female led, taken in hand, dom/sub, they all mean different things.

I am engaged in a master/slave relationship, the language that we use reflects our interests in hierarchy play and pet play. He is property, I own him.

I don't give a fuck when he wanks or what he wears. And there's nothing missing in his life.

I don't see why people focus on the 'physical' ownership thing, like slaves. When in reality it's just a way to describe a mental connection and some lifestyle aspects.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Here's the thing...

I've read this thread from top to bottom.

I don't think anyone actually wants to be owned.

I think some just want to be wanted.

Once you're wanted by someone, then that same person says "right, Now I want to own you"..

Those who "thought" they wanted to be owned will now tell that SAME person to fuck off, because that now sounds a bit like "who the fuck is this guy and what exactly does he mean?"...

Because at it's most fundamental level, very FEW people actually want to be owned in it's literal meaning.

I don't mind taking control in a sexual sense, I'm naturally that way inclined anyway, but any women who wants their lives "mapped out" by me turns me right

off, it's not something that appeals to me in the slightest. I like independent women.

That's not fun.

To my mind there is a massive difference between being submissive sexually inside the bedroom and being outright owned.

This is just my opinion. Which obviously is just my opinion.

Tin Hat On.

I disagree.

To me, the sexual use of the word "owned", it the ability to let go and totally trust the other person in a sexual sense. It's not a normal trust. It's very specific, and for me would be trust in their capability, which comes from the entire person and their general persona. For instance, I could be in control of all aspects of my life. Have a job where I have to tell people what to do, have a young family I also have to dictate to, family and friends who are also reliant on me.. If my partner also falls into that category of relying on me for basics, then my mindset of their capability wouldn't suddenly change when I enter the bedroom.

It's a specific psychology to have with a person, which enables you to release yourself to them wholey, and trust them to fulfill desires without having to spoon feed the way..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

And that is exactly it!

I am not needy or useless.

I infact have my own business, I work part time and have the responsibility of having children.

I don't NEED someone to tell me how to behave but when you are 24/7 in charge of your life, other people's lives, be it clients or family there is a real release in handing the reigns over to somebody else for all the basic things.

It is hard to find someone who is more in control than you are when you literally are the domme of your day to day life but god dammit when it happens, yes please take it!

I really don't understand why this is such a subject to be had. Some people like men, some people like women, some people like mixed race, some people don't, some people like anal some people don't. It's all about what suits each person and it is ok not to understand them, the real beauty comes from not judging others but learning that we are all fantastic in our crazy quirky ways.

There is no right or wrong as long as noone gets hurt.

Live and let live x

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"Ownership is a beautiful thing, it's not something I have the time for, but just like submission it's about handing over responsibility and therefore removing the guilt from the scene "

What guilt ? Guilty of what ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Here's the thing...

I've read this thread from top to bottom.

I don't think anyone actually wants to be owned.

I think some just want to be wanted.

Once you're wanted by someone, then that same person says "right, Now I want to own you"..

Those who "thought" they wanted to be owned will now tell that SAME person to fuck off, because that now sounds a bit like "who the fuck is this guy and what exactly does he mean?"...

Because at it's most fundamental level, very FEW people actually want to be owned in it's literal meaning.

I don't mind taking control in a sexual sense, I'm naturally that way inclined anyway, but any women who wants their lives "mapped out" by me turns me right

off, it's not something that appeals to me in the slightest. I like independent women.

That's not fun.

To my mind there is a massive difference between being submissive sexually inside the bedroom and being outright owned.

This is just my opinion. Which obviously is just my opinion.

Tin Hat On.

I think they can be struggling to deal with with personal things, the ones who aren't doing it only for the role play side of things.

When i split up with my ex, who wanted me to own him 24/7, we still chatted. He eventually told me he felt like everyone else was in control of his life anyway. Kind of weird to see a guy who had spent all the time i was with him working hard to get promoted, and eventually attain the managerial position in work that he wanted, tell me his life was out of control because he was pleasing everyone close to him and it was causing him distress. I could see he was capable of being in control, but not capable when it came to the people he loved because he let them control him. Not sure if he was scared of hurting them, scared they'd hate him and he was seeking their approval, or what else it was but yeah he was (and still is) looking for something that might never happen unless he takes more personal responsibility himself to change things, from how he thinks to how he acts.

I think having someone have some kind of input in how their life is run does make them feel wanted, the other person cares about what you're doing and also gives input and it can be comforting, as well as relieve them of responsibility. I don't think it's wrong of them to be like this if they're happy, but i was surprised how unhappy my ex was. And i don't think it was because he was on a downer coz we'd split up, i think because i wasn't taking him on in the way he wanted any more he had to change and become more responsible for himself and actually was trying to figure out how to do this. He also may have realised that being in a relationship didn't make him happy in other respects and hadn't changed anything with his family. Dunno, he's not speaking to me right now.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"I'm 'owned' by my Mistress but only when I'm with her.

She knows my limits. The kind of people I fancy. What I like to do.

I love being controlled and it breaks the ice for me with people, men and women, who I may otherwise have let pass me by. "

This is where things fall apart for me.

It 'appears' you do it because you've been told to BUT really she only asks you to do what you want to do.

She wouldn't make you play with someone you don't like.

I faid to see the 'control' or the 'submission' if it's all role play.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"we really dont get how someone can say someone owns them and you have to ask there owner if they can play.

Mr"

Like grey matter or testicles.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It 'appears' you do it because you've been told to BUT really she only asks you to do what you want to do.

She wouldn't make you play with someone you don't like.

I faid to see the 'control' or the 'submission' if it's all role play."

It's about knowing that your partner *could* make you do things you didn't really want to do.

That's getting more into consensual non-consent, but the kinks often overlap. They do in my relationships.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"I think it's great for the people who are into it. I do wish plastic doms would pack in messaging asking if they can own me, though

I don't see the sense in ownership nowadays, Surely Leasing or Rental takes all the effort out of regular servicing

Greybeard Gimp

This is by far the most sensible post. I'm all up for BDSM leasing.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

Ownership is a specific kink term. It doesn't always mean those things.

It's more of a description of a style of relationship. Like TPE, female led, taken in hand, dom/sub, they all mean different things.

I am engaged in a master/slave relationship, the language that we use reflects our interests in hierarchy play and pet play. He is property, I own him.

I don't give a fuck when he wanks or what he wears. And there's nothing missing in his life.

I don't see why people focus on the 'physical' ownership thing, like slaves. When in reality it's just a way to describe a mental connection and some lifestyle aspects."

Because the language used by advocates dictates the focus of the uninitiated.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Because the language used by advocates dictates the focus of the uninitiated.

This is what makes the whole thing extremely "flakey" for me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Because the language used by advocates dictates the focus of the uninitiated.

When I'm uninitiated about something but I feel the need to post about why it's wrong on a forum, I spend a little time doing some research first to check that I'm not hugely misunderstanding something,

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

Because the language used by advocates dictates the focus of the uninitiated.

I never feel the need to tell anyone anything's wrong. I haven't noticed anyone saying anything is wrong.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Because the language used by advocates dictates the focus of the uninitiated.

This is what makes the whole thing extremely "flakey" for me. "

"Flakey"

Otherwise known as: "not my thing".

It's ok, not everything has to be your thing. But criticising someones sexual preferences as "flakey" just makes you come across as a bit of an intolerant muppet.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have had a lots of people trying to explain it to me. But I will never understand why anyone would let someone own them

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I never feel the need to tell anyone anything's wrong. I haven't noticed anyone saying anything is wrong. "

Suggesting that anyone who indulges in this kind of relationship/kink is 'lacking grey matter or testicles' pretty much falls into this category. Calling someone unintelligent (or indeed, less of a man) because they like something different to you isn't exactly the most tolerant approach.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Because the language used by advocates dictates the focus of the uninitiated.

This is what makes the whole thing extremely "flakey" for me.

"Flakey"

Otherwise known as: "not my thing".

It's ok, not everything has to be your thing. But criticising someones sexual preferences as "flakey" just makes you come across as a bit of an intolerant muppet."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Because the language used by advocates dictates the focus of the uninitiated.

This is what makes the whole thing extremely "flakey" for me.

"Flakey"

Otherwise known as: "not my thing".

It's ok, not everything has to be your thing. But criticising someones sexual preferences as "flakey" just makes you come across as a bit of an intolerant muppet."

Jesus no need to get personal.

I quoted somebody else and not you.

And your definition of flakey is not my definition of flakey.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It can be a form of psychological relief for some people to be owned, because they get a break from making decisions themselves.

Usually people get to know each other, and their subs likes/dislikes, what they're willing to do, what they fantasize about doing and being forced to do, and the owner will act on these things. "
this (thu

(thum

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

I never feel the need to tell anyone anything's wrong. I haven't noticed anyone saying anything is wrong.

I never feel the need to tell anyone anything they are doing is wrong. I haven't noticed anyone saying anything is wrong.

I've repeated that as you seem to want to put words into people's mouths to suit yourself.

Wrong. The word I didn't use and won't use is WRONG.

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By *aster n subCouple
over a year ago

pickering

[Removed by poster at 16/03/15 22:13:21]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Being owned, or owning someone, for me is down to personal choice, ownership can be as little as language, just another way of saying "I am in a monogamous relationship with this person.

Over the years I have heard people say that they could never swing, because they can't stand the thought of another man/woman touching their husband/wife, two points, is that not claiming ownership? And we all know that's not what swinging is always about, bdsm and the relationships within that lifestyle are complex to say the least, some people fantasise about being owned, even to the point of being bought from someone, it's still fantasy, I'm sure there are many ladies on here that own a sexy cop outfit, but are not actual police officers the more a fantasy is incorporated into life outside the bedroom, the more realistic it is, and the more realistic it is, the more pleasure can be obtained from immersing oneself in it.

That's my thoughts on it anyway

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There's a difference between being bossed about and told what to do, than choosing to mentally release yourself to someone during sexual acts. To allow yourself to do things, that would not be possible with other partners due to trust and mutual understanding etc... That's how I interpret the sexual use of the word "owned" anyway. But I'm sure everyone interprets it differently.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I can't get my head around the term 'owned'. Seen so many get hurt because of it. I'm usually the agony aunt sometimes you see lol

First heard of it off this site and seen it used so many times. But, all those who have used this terminology (like i've always said) seem to be owned by a different person every week. That was something i didn't understand. They go through so many doms in a month - which i never got.

Of course, this doesn't reflect all those who are in this 'scene'. But, hasn't really clarified it's use for me. These were the sort of people i have come across.

I respect those that are in that scene. But, i think those who have to say it out loud that they are 'owned' or i'm their 'sub/dom' may not necessarily be the ones who are fully engaged in this sort of relationship.

Does what i say make sense?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've always said that I'll never own someone, I may one day collar someone, but I don't belive in marriage, so someone wearing my collar would be my version of getting married, I've never put a collar on anyone, I've not met the right sub, but one day my princess will come lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"There's a difference between being bossed about and told what to do, than choosing to mentally release yourself to someone during sexual acts. "

That's the difference. That's what I'm getting at.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I can't get my head around the term 'owned'. Seen so many get hurt because of it. I'm usually the agony aunt sometimes you see lol

Of course, this doesn't reflect all those who are in this 'scene'. But, hasn't really clarified it's use for me. These were the sort of people i have come across.

Does what i say make sense?

Totally agree. I think this happens more amoungst singles who like to mark their territory more than anything else. I don't see that as being "owned". I think it's something that only time and respect can build, not a few cam sessions or a couple of one to ones can achieve.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"There's a difference between being bossed about and told what to do, than choosing to mentally release yourself to someone during sexual acts.

That's the difference. That's what I'm getting at. "

You see. Now that's what we do anyway.

However, you might have someone say to you 'i am all yours. My body belongs to you' etc etc. That is sexy, as opposed to someone who tells you 'no eating this, no dressing like that, no meeting him' - to me, that is not sexual.

It has to be sexually related for it to make sense to me. If it's ownership upon something that is not sexually related, then my mind boggles.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think you have to love someone and trust someone to get to that deep level of trust

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I can't get my head around the term 'owned'. Seen so many get hurt because of it. I'm usually the agony aunt sometimes you see lol

Of course, this doesn't reflect all those who are in this 'scene'. But, hasn't really clarified it's use for me. These were the sort of people i have come across.

Does what i say make sense?

That's what it is. Why do people need to mark their territory? You see a lot of that on here. No need to proclaim it out loud, and not everyone needs to know.

It just shows that something is not stable between each other.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think you have to love someone and trust someone to get to that deep level of trust"

I'm not sure about the love part.. Trust yes, I think it's more the dynamic of the relationship than "love". I've loved, and was very much the dominant in all aspects of our relationship. Due to that, I couldn't let myself "go"...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"There's a difference between being bossed about and told what to do, than choosing to mentally release yourself to someone during sexual acts.

That's the difference. That's what I'm getting at.

You see. Now that's what we do anyway.

It has to be sexually related for it to make sense to me. If it's ownership upon something that is not sexually related, then my mind boggles.

I disagree with you there, sometimes telling someone what to wear can be to give them the confidence to wear something they don't have the confidence to wear, in my last d/s relationship, I fobid her to eat chocolate, or drink wine on a week day, this was because she wanted to lose half a stone, but we used the d/s part of our relationship to help her a hive this

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By *mmabluTV/TS
over a year ago

upton wirral

"we really dont get how someone can say someone owns them and you have to ask there owner if they can play."
Normal in S/M relationships,not for everyone

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By *hoenixcouplexxCouple
over a year ago

Leicestershire

Never knew there were so many different _iews.

I have always _iewed it that a submissive has the right to set limits. Hard, absolute limits. Soft, more flexible limits.

A slave on the otherhand gives up choice through their own choice. They only have one option left... Leave.

Submission as mentioned way up ^^^ there is not only about the bedroom. It is about whatever is mutually agreed or explored.

A slave gives up their part of that choice and leaves themselves with only one option.

That was my understanding anyway.

I can definitely see why someone would choose either path but the path of a slave runs with some huge risks depending on how vulnerable the person making the choice is.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"There's a difference between being bossed about and told what to do, than choosing to mentally release yourself to someone during sexual acts.

That's the difference. That's what I'm getting at.

You see. Now that's what we do anyway.

It has to be sexually related for it to make sense to me. If it's ownership upon something that is not sexually related, then my mind boggles.

Hehe that would never work with me.. I'd eat and drink more just to assert myself

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

you will end up on the naughty step!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"you will end up on the naughty step!

Meh. I'd like to see someone try lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"There's a difference between being bossed about and told what to do, than choosing to mentally release yourself to someone during sexual acts.

That's the difference. That's what I'm getting at.

You see. Now that's what we do anyway.

It has to be sexually related for it to make sense to me. If it's ownership upon something that is not sexually related, then my mind boggles.

Hehe that would never work with me.. I'd eat and drink more just to assert myself

It depends on how capable the Dom is

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I adore being owned and love to fully submit, the power and control is really all mine. Ultimately it's all about trust, respect and freedom to explore one another fully.

I dont knock and judge others so don't worry that you don't understand it, just don't judge (which im sure you don't)

The experiences ive had with my master wow, speechless and breath taking x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's just role play.

I have a running argument with a girl on fet who's 'owned'.

I tell her it's iust glorified bf/gf , she says nooo you don't understand, it's....(similar to posts above). fair enough, you can't tell people what they can + can't enjoy. Though I do anyway, it's a bad habit.

But that slave register really is total wank, pure attention seeking. I had a look one might, they get serial numbers + certificates.

Seriously what a waste of time is that

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It's just role play.

I have a running argument with a girl on fet who's 'owned'.

But that slave register really is total wank, pure attention seeking. I had a look one might, they get serial numbers + certificates.

Seriously what a waste of time is that"

It's not a waste of time when you are the one collecting the fees lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"you will end up on the naughty step!

Meh. I'd like to see someone try lol

"
if your ever in Leeds

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It depends on how capable the Dom is

With my intolerance, they would have to be capable from the word go... Not something which is turned on and off.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"you will end up on the naughty step!

Meh. I'd like to see someone try lol

if your ever in Leeds

Lol standard response... Epic Dom fail (for me)..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I can't get my head around the term 'owned'. Seen so many get hurt because of it. I'm usually the agony aunt sometimes you see lol

Of course, this doesn't reflect all those who are in this 'scene'. But, hasn't really clarified it's use for me. These were the sort of people i have come across.

Does what i say make sense?

I've been in that style of relationship for about three years with one of my partners. So hello there! Guess you've just met someone who doesn't flit between people every week.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

But that is what fetishistic behaviour is - taking things that are not sexual and making them sexual.

A few years ago I had a partner who used to tell me what I could wear each morning, and we had a tracker on my phone so that he always knew where I was (thanks Apple!). Most people would find that not sexy, but for us it was.

Lots of people don't find balloons sexy, or furry suits, or urethral sounding. But those are examples of fetishistic behaviour, just like an ownership or TPE relationship.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It's just role play.

I have a running argument with a girl on fet who's 'owned'.

But that slave register really is total wank, pure attention seeking. I had a look one might, they get serial numbers + certificates.

Seriously what a waste of time is that"

If you saw myself and my partner interact, you could not - on any level - mistake us for a boyfriend and girlfriend. The only thing we do similar to a 'normal' boyfriend and girlfriend relationship is see each other in person and chat online.

We don't kiss, we don't cuddle, we don't have regular sex, we don't go shopping together, when we go for dinner I tell him what he's eating. In the time that we spend together, he exists only to do things that I want him to do.

We don't have a slave register number. We don't go attention seeking. We don't have certificates.

He is owned by me and he serves me.

Other people do it differently, but that's how we do it. And it would be great if you didn't just call our relationship a 'waste of time'.

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By *aster n subCouple
over a year ago

pickering

Its nice to see someone who has a similar lifestyle to us .Relationships like ours are personal you won't find two "couples " with the same dynamics and its wrong for anyone to judge how we choose to live as long as it doesnt hurt anyone else who cares i have read about alternative stuff and some things you would say why would anyone do that but in fact they are no wierder than us .10 years ago being on a swinging site seemed perverted to me but her we are we all evolve and who knows where it willtake us . I would hace hated to look back in 20 year's time and think i wish id tried that but because it seemed wierd and taboo i didnt .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It depends on how capable the Dom is

With my intolerance, they would have to be capable from the word go... Not something which is turned on and off.

Some of us are capable before knowing you, I'm not harsh, but I know what I'm doing, it's about giving you what you want and need before you know you want or need it, and that's not easy

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It can be a form of psychological relief for some people to be owned, because they get a break from making decisions themselves.

Usually people get to know each other, and their subs likes/dislikes, what they're willing to do, what they fantasize about doing and being forced to do, and the owner will act on these things.

Brilliant reply

This sums it up quite well.

As a Dominant guy I was sceptical as to whether or not I would find such a relationship either on here or when I used to be on Fet.

Over a period of time I have been chatting to a young submissive lady, whose trust and confidence I have gained.

Whilst some may not understand the concept of ownership and the sub/Dom/Domme relationship they are a very real part of people's lives, a fantasy they are willing to act upon and act out!

Trust is the key element in such a scenario.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"you will end up on the naughty step!

Meh. I'd like to see someone try lol

if your ever in Leeds

Lol standard response... Epic Dom fail (for me)..

"
typical sub flirt tut tut

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

God I hope I find someone in this lifetime...............

Yup, I'm on a similar page to you, for me it's a case of 'Lead me to the rock that is higher than I'!!

I love strong-minded, intense, passionate men - the obsessive and possessive desire of the Scorpios and Leos of this world. Whilst I am almost completely indomitable, I love the overwhelming nature of the experience, and if such a man is also one I respect, admire, and can trust with my own wellbeing - well then it is a thrill to let go the end and just let him take over.

I am personally not into anything kinky or any kind of bdsm or demeaning role play, but I know the kind of buzz that I could call ownership, a depth of abandon. It would be in the sense of 'cherished, prize possession', never in a million years 'property to be abused'.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

God I hope I find someone in this lifetime...............

Yup, I'm on a similar page to you, for me it's a case of 'Lead me to the rock that is higher than I'!!

"
I was just Gonna say that

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

God I hope I find someone in this lifetime...............

Yup, I'm on a similar page to you, for me it's a case of 'Lead me to the rock that is higher than I'!!

I was just Gonna say that

It may take more than one emoji .....

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By *L RogueMan
over a year ago

London

I searched out this thread to get a better understand of the whole "owned" thing.

I'm more confused than when I got here!

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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk

"I searched out this thread to get a better understand of the whole "owned" thing.

I'm more confused than when I got here!

It's not that complicated. It may seem that way because the exact arrangements differ between different owners and owned parties. The basic theory is the same though.

The owned party has given control of aspects of their life to someone else. On here that usually means their sex life is one of those aspects. The owner decides what the owned party will, won't, may and may not do and with whom.

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By *ebedeedoodahMan
over a year ago

Greenford

God I hope I find someone in this lifetime...............

Yup, I'm on a similar page to you, for me it's a case of 'Lead me to the rock that is higher than I'!!

Faith and trust

x%x

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By *L RogueMan
over a year ago

London

"I searched out this thread to get a better understand of the whole "owned" thing.

I'm more confused than when I got here!

It's not that complicated. It may seem that way because the exact arrangements differ between different owners and owned parties. The basic theory is the same though.

I get the basic theory. It's the finer and different details that get confusing. People have their own take on this and it varies.

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

seems daft to me but it clearly works for others...

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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk

"I searched out this thread to get a better understand of the whole "owned" thing.

I'm more confused than when I got here!

It's not that complicated. It may seem that way because the exact arrangements differ between different owners and owned parties. The basic theory is the same though.

I get the basic theory. It's the finer and different details that get confusing. People have their own take on this and it varies.

It does. There are as many variations as couples who do it. The arrangements usually change to some extent with time too.

If it matters, (by which I mean affects you in some way), ask them.

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By *L RogueMan
over a year ago

London

"It does. There are as many variations as couples who do it. The arrangements usually change to some extent with time too.

If it matters, (by which I mean affects you in some way), ask them."

To be honest, I'm just trying to get a better understanding. I've been talking to certain ladies who have been interested in meeting me but next thing I know, they're owned and I've got to ask a guy's permission. It's been happening a lot which is why I bumped the thread.

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By (user no longer on site)
Forum Mod
over a year ago

"It does. There are as many variations as couples who do it. The arrangements usually change to some extent with time too.

If it matters, (by which I mean affects you in some way), ask them.

I personally think it has bugger all to do with the meaning an owned relationship that is described in a BDSM way and everything to do with marking territory

I avoid any man who says he 'owns' women and I avoid all the other men that are linked to his 'property' or 'properties' because I see a lot of that too with certain circles

They seem to change on a weekly basis too

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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk

"It does. There are as many variations as couples who do it. The arrangements usually change to some extent with time too.

If it matters, (by which I mean affects you in some way), ask them.

I personally think it has bugger all to do with the meaning an owned relationship that is described in a BDSM way and everything to do with marking territory

I avoid any man who says he 'owns' women and I avoid all the other men that are linked to his 'property' or 'properties' because I see a lot of that too with certain circles

They seem to change on a weekly basis too

I agree that there's a lot of this on here. That sort of ownership is beyond me.

I avoid any man who says he owns women too, mainly because being owned or controlled isn't something I'm even slightly interested in.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It does. There are as many variations as couples who do it. The arrangements usually change to some extent with time too.

If it matters, (by which I mean affects you in some way), ask them.

I personally think it has bugger all to do with the meaning an owned relationship that is described in a BDSM way and everything to do with marking territory

I avoid any man who says he 'owns' women and I avoid all the other men that are linked to his 'property' or 'properties' because I see a lot of that too with certain circles

They seem to change on a weekly basis too

Lamppost pissing needs a new name.

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By *L RogueMan
over a year ago

London

"It does. There are as many variations as couples who do it. The arrangements usually change to some extent with time too.

If it matters, (by which I mean affects you in some way), ask them.

I personally think it has bugger all to do with the meaning an owned relationship that is described in a BDSM way and everything to do with marking territory

I avoid any man who says he 'owns' women and I avoid all the other men that are linked to his 'property' or 'properties' because I see a lot of that too with certain circles

They seem to change on a weekly basis too

It does seem to be marking territory but I thought that it was a part of it. Again, another reason for the thread bump because because people will agree and disagree. I'm not against asking but I don't really want to ask anyone's permission, especially as the "owned" party was happy to meet me before. Also, I wouldn't want to own anyone. (barely time for myself than to worry about someone else!) Seems a bit of a game to me. No offence to anyone who does this.

Oh well. Back to square one!

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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk

"It does. There are as many variations as couples who do it. The arrangements usually change to some extent with time too.

If it matters, (by which I mean affects you in some way), ask them.

I personally think it has bugger all to do with the meaning an owned relationship that is described in a BDSM way and everything to do with marking territory

I avoid any man who says he 'owns' women and I avoid all the other men that are linked to his 'property' or 'properties' because I see a lot of that too with certain circles

They seem to change on a weekly basis too

Oh well. Back to square one!

Tell her to ask his permission to meet you. She's the one with the arrangement.

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By *L RogueMan
over a year ago

London

"It does. There are as many variations as couples who do it. The arrangements usually change to some extent with time too.

If it matters, (by which I mean affects you in some way), ask them.

I personally think it has bugger all to do with the meaning an owned relationship that is described in a BDSM way and everything to do with marking territory

I avoid any man who says he 'owns' women and I avoid all the other men that are linked to his 'property' or 'properties' because I see a lot of that too with certain circles

They seem to change on a weekly basis too

Oh well. Back to square one!

Tell her to ask his permission to meet you. She's the one with the arrangement."

Hmm might work. We'll see. Cheers!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Can't think of anything worse than being controlled by someone else. Been in abusive relationships so this kind of role play or lifestyle is not for me.

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

God I hope I find someone in this lifetime...............

Yup, I'm on a similar page to you, for me it's a case of 'Lead me to the rock that is higher than I'!!

Faith and trust

x%x"

At the bare minimum.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Can't think of anything worse than being controlled by someone else. Been in abusive relationships so this kind of role play or lifestyle is not for me. "

That's the important thing to remember. It is roleplay, not abuse.

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