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Who has the best joke.

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By *riendly Fires OP   Couple
over a year ago

Beverley

C'mon share it with us.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why do elephants have four feet? Cos 6inches isn't good enough.

What happened when Jesus went to mount olive? Popeye kicked the fuck out of him

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"i was driving along in my car some guy stopped me and said can you give me a lift i said sure, you look great the worlds your oyster go for it" tommy cooper

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By *londeCazWoman
over a year ago

Arse End of the Universe, Cumbria

I used to be a necrophiliac until this rotten cunt split on me

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By *edfred77Couple
over a year ago

warrington

Hear about the two queer ghosts..they put the willys up each other !!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"C'mon share it with us. "

My penis is pretty laughable

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Wanna hear a joke about my cock ???

Can't its to long

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What's pink and hangs out your pants?

Your mum.

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By *oantrimcpl2010Couple
over a year ago

Lisburn

My wife rang me at work.

She said, "Two packages arrived today. The first was your Playstation 3 and the second is the new Rampant Rabbit vibrator we ordered. I can't wait for you to get home and play with me for hours."

I said, "You'll be lucky... I only ordered one controller."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"My wife rang me at work.

She said, "Two packages arrived today. The first was your Playstation 3 and the second is the new Rampant Rabbit vibrator we ordered. I can't wait for you to get home and play with me for hours."

I said, "You'll be lucky... I only ordered one controller.""

lol! Brilliant!!!!

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By *ere-for-my-convenienceWoman
over a year ago

West Midlands

Where do dogs buy their new tails from

The retail park

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By *ordonBennettMan
over a year ago

dover

Dyslexics of the world untie!

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By *osconangelCouple
over a year ago

huddersfield

the police just knocked on my door and said my dog had chased someone on a bike, i said dont be fucking stupid he dosent have a bike

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"the police just knocked on my door and said my dog had chased someone on a bike, i said dont be fucking stupid he dosent have a bike

"

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By *ashful BazMan
over a year ago

poole dorset

I Was in bed with my Japanese girlfriend, when I happened to remark that her fanny was getting a bit baggy..

She lost it and screamed,

"You always CLITTYSIZING!"

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By *limBobStretchedPantsMan
over a year ago

Newcastle

Chelsea football club.

Too soon??

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Amy Winehouse 3 years sober!

... it's funnier on Facebook.

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By *lashheartMan
over a year ago

shrewsbury

I was trying to think of a new password for my email so put "mywillie" .... It said it wasn't long enough

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I was trying to think of a new password for my email so put "mywillie" .... It said it wasn't long enough "

LMFAO!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Who has the best joke :

The Labour Party.

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By *mmabluTV/TS
over a year ago

upton wirral


"

Who has the best joke :

The Labour Party."

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By *aneandpaulCouple
over a year ago

cleveleys

We set an Eastern European cleaner on took her 3 hour,s to vack the carpet She told us later she was a slovac

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By *verysmileMan
over a year ago

Canterbury

How do you know when you pass an elephant?

You can't get the toilet seat down.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

THE DOCTOR AND

HIS BILL

The farmers maid-of-all-work refused to

Get up one morning and the farmer, Thinking she was Ill, called in the Doctor. when he arrived, the following Conversation took place,

Doctor to servant; whats the matter,

Mary?

Mary; `Northen,`

Doctor; `well, why don`t you get Up?

Mary; `I ain`t a-goin`to, they owe

me two months` wages and I don`t get Up till I get it,`

Doctor;`Oh, is that it! Well, shift Up a bit, they`ve owed me a bill for Two years,`

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Two blokes walking down the street.

One exclaims.

"That bloke looks just like the Archbishop of Canterbury!"

" Ask him then." says the other.

He goes up to him and politely asks him whether this was the case.

"Mind your own cunting business!!!!" came the reply screaming at him.

He goes back to his friend.

"Was he the Archbishop of Canterbury?"

"He wouldn't say!"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

An Englishman, an Irishman, a scottishman, a Welshman, a jap, a chinaman, a yank, a Jamaican, a Latvian, a swede, a Spaniard, a Frenchman, a phillipino, a German, a Dutchman, a Russian and a Belgian walk into a bar. The barman turns to them and says "I'm sorry..... But I cant let you in without a Thai"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What's green and smells of pork?

........

kermit the frog's cock!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Knock knock

who's there?

train goes

train goes who?

no... train goes choo choo

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why do elephants have big ears?

because noddy won't pay the ransom!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Benjamin button........ Benjamin who......... Benjamin........... Who's there.......... Knock knock !

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By *verysmileMan
over a year ago

Canterbury

What's the difference between a bad marksman and a constipated owl?

One shoots but can't hit and the other hoots..........

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A old man decided to put an obituary in his local paper for his late wife. He could only afford 3 words with the little

money he had and he decides to just have "Maggie Smith Dead"

The guy from the news paper feels a little sorry for the old guy and gives him 3 extra words for free.

The old guy thanks him for his generosity and says he'll settle for "Maggie Smith Dead. Fiesta For Sale"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Did you hear about the insomniac, agnostic, dyslexic who laid in bed at night wondering if there was a Dog?

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By *nglands_finestMan
over a year ago

Leicestershire

A family is at the dinner table. The son asks the father, “Dad, how many kinds of boobs are there?” The father, surprised, answers, “Well, son, a woman goes through three phases. In her 20s, a woman’s breasts are like melons, round and firm. In her 30s and 40s, they are like pears, still nice, hanging a bit. After 50, they are like onions.” “Onions?” the son asks. “Yes. You see them and they make you cry.” This infuriated his wife and daughter. The daughter asks, “Mum, how many different kinds of willies are there?” The mother smiles and says, “Well, dear, a man goes through three phases also. In his 20s, his willy is like an oak tree, mighty and hard. In his 30s and 40s, it’s like a birch, flexible but reliable. After his 50s, it’s like a Christmas tree.” “A Christmas tree?” the daughter asks. “Yes, dead from the root up and the balls are just for decoration.”

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What is the difference between a chickpea and a lentle.

I don't know

What is the difference between a chickpea and a lentle.

I wouldn't pay good money to have a lentle on my chest.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Dyslexic man walks into a bra

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By *oward1978Man
over a year ago

Rotherham

Did you know that cats don't like to shave?...

8 out of 10 prefer whiskers

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"A family is at the dinner table. The son asks the father, “Dad, how many kinds of boobs are there?” The father, surprised, answers, “Well, son, a woman goes through three phases. In her 20s, a woman’s breasts are like melons, round and firm. In her 30s and 40s, they are like pears, still nice, hanging a bit. After 50, they are like onions.” “Onions?” the son asks. “Yes. You see them and they make you cry.” This infuriated his wife and daughter. The daughter asks, “Mum, how many different kinds of willies are there?” The mother smiles and says, “Well, dear, a man goes through three phases also. In his 20s, his willy is like an oak tree, mighty and hard. In his 30s and 40s, it’s like a birch, flexible but reliable. After his 50s, it’s like a Christmas tree.” “A Christmas tree?” the daughter asks. “Yes, dead from the root up and the balls are just for decoration.”"
pmsl

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Blind fella walking through town with his guide dog and it pisses up his leg and he gave it a biscuit.This bloke said"thats very kind,that dogs just pissed up you leg and you gave him a biscuit".I know he said im just finding where his mouth is im gonna kick him in the bollocks.

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By *ashful BazMan
over a year ago

poole dorset

I pulled a gypsy bird last night,

she asked me did I want to go back to hers for a good time,

she wasn't fucking kidding!!

Went on the dodgems, waltzer, ghost train and went home with a goldfish...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"What's pink and hangs out your pants?

Your mum."
belly laugh!! Nice one

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By *ngel delight 69Woman
over a year ago

Torquay

Hahahaha

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


" I Was in bed with my Japanese girlfriend, when I happened to remark that her fanny was getting a bit baggy..

She lost it and screamed,

"You always CLITTYSIZING!""

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

what have a married man and a pubic hair on a toilet seat got in common?

they both get pissed off after a while.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"what have a married man and a pubic hair on a toilet seat got in common?

they both get pissed off after a while."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"A family is at the dinner table. The son asks the father, “Dad, how many kinds of boobs are there?” The father, surprised, answers, “Well, son, a woman goes through three phases. In her 20s, a woman’s breasts are like melons, round and firm. In her 30s and 40s, they are like pears, still nice, hanging a bit. After 50, they are like onions.” “Onions?” the son asks. “Yes. You see them and they make you cry.” This infuriated his wife and daughter. The daughter asks, “Mum, how many different kinds of willies are there?” The mother smiles and says, “Well, dear, a man goes through three phases also. In his 20s, his willy is like an oak tree, mighty and hard. In his 30s and 40s, it’s like a birch, flexible but reliable. After his 50s, it’s like a Christmas tree.” “A Christmas tree?” the daughter asks. “Yes, dead from the root up and the balls are just for decoration.”pmsl "

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By *inky BunnyMan
over a year ago

Cardiff

Not sure if she's a tranny? Hope for the breast. Prepare for the wurst

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

2 sausages sitting in a pan,

One says "its fucking hot in here"

The other says "shit its a talking fucking sausage"

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs


"Not sure if she's a tranny? Hope for the breast. Prepare for the wurst "

Hahaha!

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By *ashful BazMan
over a year ago

poole dorset

Man and Wife are out shopping together. Wife sees some shoes she wants but her husband says, NO Way! They're way to expensive. "Later that night in bed he lays a hand on his wifes pussy,

She says,

"I don't fucking think so mate!

If you can't afford to shoe the horse, then you ain't fucking riding it!!!"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Jack and Jill went up the hill so Jack could lick Jill's fanny....

But he got a shock, and a mouthful of cock, cos Jill's a fucking tranny !!!!!

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