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A question for the ladies

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

There are many sexy, sassy, ballsy, ladies on these forums, ladies who know what they want and not afraid to get it. So a question to you ladies, have you always been this confident, even in your younger years, or has your confidence increased since swinging.

I must admit I feel a lot more confident now than I did a year ago. For once Im proud of my curves and ok, whilst I would be lying if I said I like the roll of fat on my tummy, ive realised that its ok to not look like Kate Moss.

I havent been swinging for very long and still feel a bit shy to say no to people in clubs that I dont want to play with. That doesnt mean I play with them all, i just hide my face in my partners shoulder and he tells them no.

I accept Ive got a lot to learn in relation to etiquette etc. Did it all come naturally or have you ladies made mistakes along the way

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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville


"There are many sexy, sassy, ballsy, ladies on these forums, ladies who know what they want and not afraid to get it. So a question to you ladies, have you always been this confident, even in your younger years, or has your confidence increased since swinging.

I must admit I feel a lot more confident now than I did a year ago. For once Im proud of my curves and ok, whilst I would be lying if I said I like the roll of fat on my tummy, ive realised that its ok to not look like Kate Moss.

I havent been swinging for very long and still feel a bit shy to say no to people in clubs that I dont want to play with. That doesnt mean I play with them all, i just hide my face in my partners shoulder and he tells them no.

I accept Ive got a lot to learn in relation to etiquette etc. Did it all come naturally or have you ladies made mistakes along the way

"
My confidence has been up n down but this is usually due to life experiences and not specifically swinging...i was a good girl when i was younger...wouldnt have dreamt of doing some of the stuff i have done recently ,years ago, but i have to say i am comfortable in my own skin, in answer to the OPs question swinging hasnt been specifically responsible for my confidence as it is now

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By *uss PussWoman
over a year ago

east cheshire

Ive always been a bossy boots and know EXACTLY what i want....alllll my life

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No!

I had a domineering husband who sapped my confidence for years, a boss that made me feel equally useless and I just wanted to disappear. I used to dress in black, navy, brown and grey. I wanted to be invisible.

One day I just had enough!!! I remember my boss going on about something and dismissed me with the words - "I don't even know what you do around here!" I went into the office and told my staff to type up the briefings, letters EXACTLY how he'd written them. They asked me to check and I said no, just pp them and send them out.

A few days later he came into the office and started looking through the day book - we had to staple his original to the file copy. After a while he coughed and said "oh, we've been getting complaints that the standard of work coming out of the department is slacking, and the executives are complaining. I asked him to be specific, explain what he meant.

He took out a pile of correspondence and said, these haven't been corrected. I looked at it and said, "well, that's what you wrote" he said yes, but you always correct it. I looked at him and said - "now you know what I do...I make you look good!"

That was the turning point for me - I changed, I realised I'm quite a smart, funny, person and I was being subjugated by my husband and boss. I decided that I was going to leave my husband, but there was no way was I going to be a single parent, so waited until my youngest went to secondary school and I left.

I kept my head down, getting to know me and finding out what I liked. The first time I went shopping after leaving my husband I was confused - I didn't know what cereal I liked for heaven's sake as I always bought what the family wanted.

When I discovered internet dating that was a shock, as men just wanted to jump my bones. I felt appalled and flattered in equal measure, but found I couldn't put myself in a position where men dominated me again.

I don't recognise the woman I was. This new me is fearless, confident, ballsy, yes, arrogant at times, and enjoying the fun of playing with men. The thing is the men I play with HAVE to be successful, alpha males outside the bedroom for me to really enjoy them.

I have a couple that are really lovely men, and I enjoy playing with them as they are a great laugh and the look on their faces when I have a new toy is a huge turn on. The others, it's just a buzz having them - with one I'll call him when I know he's about to go into a meeting and tell him he's needed.

I had a mental block at work once and needed light relief - called him out of work to come and wank for me in my office.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As with sassymissuk I have lived for 30 years with a husband that puts me down at every opportunity that he can and says I am no good for anything, funny thing was married him to get away from a tyrant of a Father, when I came on here 8 months ago after putting up with him having an affair for over 4 years, I was so scared and lacked so much confidence I couldn't do my first meet on my own and enlisted the help of my best friend who was already a member, the second meet was worse as I was on my own but now after meeting a few guys ones that match the criteria that I go for, my confidence has built 10 fold and I know that I am good at what I do and as far as hes concerned he can go.... himself, I have discovered life again

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By *etillanteWoman
over a year ago

.

I met a guy three years ago, when I was size 16/18 had long grey hair felt totally frumpy,was coming up to my 49th birthday and felt like shit.

He saw something, said he knew that inside was a sexy woman.

To cut a long story short, lost weight through illness, kept it off and say what he did.

Yes I am much more confident, feel much sexier, but in other ways cannot see what guys see in me. In some waysI still see myself as the woman at the beginning of this.

At the beginning of this month a guy took some photos of me. I still cannot believe that woman is me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I blame it on my parents who sent me over here to school some 30y ago.

Being at a boarding school surrounded by strangers and did not speak the language, it was a case of sink or swim.

OK, I did have my sister in the year above me, and she was in the same house as me. However, she was not there to protect me.

Hence I had to fend for myself from then onwards.

I was put in a position of authority at 16 by being the head of house, school prefect, etc..., and had to learn to rub shoulders with parents, VIPs etc...

One of the most significant event when I was at school, was the time when the whole year in my house (about 10 of us) got banned from further unsupervised outings, after we failed to return at the agreed hour on our first trip out.

Some of the girls secretly arranged to meet boys from a nearby school in the city some 30miles from school. When it was time to take the bus back, some of them decided to stay longer and spent the time with the boys.

This resulted in the whole group missing the bus, and had to go by train, then a taxi ride, and arrived back at the house some 5h behind schedule.

The sh1t hit the fan, and each of us were interviewed by the Headmistress.

The ring leaders asked the group to stick to the story that the bus was full and there was no relief bus available, without realising the Housemistress had already found out from the bus company that 2, not 1, relief buses were put on! DOH!!!

The Headmistress promised me immunity from any punishment if I told the truth. Since I was not stupid enough to know the life of being a snitch is not worth living, I stuck with the agreed story.

As soon as I got back to the house, I stormed into the UV's common room, and told my housemates that it would be the last time I would tell a lie for them. And that I would never participate in any of their games again.

From then on, I ceased to be a sheep that was part of a flock, and it felt great!

The following year, they made me head of house, as the two other candidates refused to give up smoking, and my acadamic and behavioral track records were much better than theirs.

Without a doubt my schooling had played an significant part in shaping me the way I am today.

I grew to be even more bolshy when I was at uni!

Lastly, I have witnessed how unhappy my mum was for staying with my father because she did not have the means to support herself, let alone the rest of us, during yet another one of his d*unken episodes that resulted in my mum, myself and my siblings bunking off to stay in a hotel while my dad was d*unk inside our family home.

Hence I vowed when I was 14, shortly before I was sent over here to school, that I would never be dependent on a man.

I worked my socks off to get good grades in order to go to uni.

Having a professional qualification that guarantees good enjoyable and well paid jobs for life certainly helps to build up my confidence and self-esteem, by being able to support my lifestyle etc...

Like I was fed up of not being able to find any decent clothes off the peg that fit, so I have them made to measure. Having clothes that fit and make me look good is a real confident booster!

I am comfortable in my own skin, and enjoy my own company. I do not need to be part of a collective in order to feel secure.

I am like Marmite, either you love me or you hate me. I speak my own mind, and my opinions are my own, and I do not give a flying f**k whether anyone agree or disagree with them!

I am definitely not shy, or afraid to be a lone voice amongst a sea of oppositions!

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By *ardybumsCouple
over a year ago

peekin under duvet is it safe?

some amazing stories ladies,you are all strong and made amazing leaps in your lives...awesome

and no im not trying to get into your nicks !

yet

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By (user no longer on site)
Forum Mod
over a year ago

I got here by accident and it says on my birth certificate that my father was the milkman

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By *ruitWoman
over a year ago

near kings lynn

Wow am saluting you other single strong women out there and especiallyn those posted above me.

I was a good girl all my life. Met my ex at 19, had sex, married at 25 first child at almost 30 then another 4 years later. He left for the normal cant cope with being a dad and grass is greener syndrome.

I sank deep into depression and only my friends and family knew as kept bubbly around anyone else.

I was basically on the ground and had become a small % of the person I was.

I was introduced to swinging by a male friend. I went on site and went in the chat room and chatted and flirted which was strange as didnt know I still could.

I got a webcam and put it on my face mostly in chat and my personality came through. No one on there knew of my depression. I was chatting with a few people and someone mentioned something about men and being a parent. I immediately switched off my cam as began crying. A lady on their private messaged me(wispered as that sie calls it) to check I was ok and said a few comforting words to me.

I carried on chatting and then began meeting people. I soon realised sex could be good and all men werent selfish and would do some sick things while you were sleeping or even awake. It restored my faith and sex was amazing.

I made new friends and went to socials and made some good friendships.

I still have many of those from my previous site.

I am healthy now and have been for some years now, my kids are great too and my life is slowly starting now. I am comfy in my skin and also have a wobbly belly but with fantastic boobs no one ever really looks at my belly.

Swinging to me is a massive part of my life and luckily my family support that lifestyle too.

One day I hope to be able to say I am happy and that be an honest opinion.

I am a more confident than I was, I have had to to get through everything that has happened.

Sending hugs to all the amazing strong women xxxx

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

No i havent always been this confident but it has nothing to do with swinging. I found my confidence when i was 37

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Ive always been a bossy boots and know EXACTLY what i want....alllll my life "

Really? It doesn't show at all.

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By *ushroom7Man
over a year ago

Bradford

Bravo.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

People have commented that public school education either turn you into an egomaniac or a nervous wreck, no prize in guessing which camp I belong!

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By *ushroom7Man
over a year ago

Bradford


"I got here by accident and it says on my birth certificate that my father was the milkman "

full cream, mmm

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Reading some of these stories is both sad and inspirational.

i congratulate each and every one of you that has come through some degree of enforced suffering either in work or within the home and have finally found the strength to say no more.

it's when you find it in yourself to say that, that you discover your confidence; places like this just help cultivate it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What an amazing and inspirational thread and equally, some great personal stories.

I am lucky that I have always been fairly confident as I had very supportive parents but even so there were areas in my life where I was outside my comfort zone and hence not all that sure of myself ... It is as some other people suggested about life experience, accepting oneself with faults and benefits, knowing that nobody is perfect and that what we may see as perfection in some people to them might not be perfect at all. Sadly, confidence comes with age whereas really it would be great if our teenagers (boys and girls) had a bit more of it.

Brilliant thread

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"No!

I had a domineering husband who sapped my confidence for years, a boss that made me feel equally useless and I just wanted to disappear. I used to dress in black, navy, brown and grey. I wanted to be invisible.

One day I just had enough!!! I remember my boss going on about something and dismissed me with the words - "I don't even know what you do around here!" I went into the office and told my staff to type up the briefings, letters EXACTLY how he'd written them. They asked me to check and I said no, just pp them and send them out.

A few days later he came into the office and started looking through the day book - we had to staple his original to the file copy. After a while he coughed and said "oh, we've been getting complaints that the standard of work coming out of the department is slacking, and the executives are complaining. I asked him to be specific, explain what he meant.

He took out a pile of correspondence and said, these haven't been corrected. I looked at it and said, "well, that's what you wrote" he said yes, but you always correct it. I looked at him and said - "now you know what I do...I make you look good!"

That was the turning point for me - I changed, I realised I'm quite a smart, funny, person and I was being subjugated by my husband and boss. I decided that I was going to leave my husband, but there was no way was I going to be a single parent, so waited until my youngest went to secondary school and I left.

I kept my head down, getting to know me and finding out what I liked. The first time I went shopping after leaving my husband I was confused - I didn't know what cereal I liked for heaven's sake as I always bought what the family wanted.

When I discovered internet dating that was a shock, as men just wanted to jump my bones. I felt appalled and flattered in equal measure, but found I couldn't put myself in a position where men dominated me again.

I don't recognise the woman I was. This new me is fearless, confident, ballsy, yes, arrogant at times, and enjoying the fun of playing with men. The thing is the men I play with HAVE to be successful, alpha males outside the bedroom for me to really enjoy them.

I have a couple that are really lovely men, and I enjoy playing with them as they are a great laugh and the look on their faces when I have a new toy is a huge turn on. The others, it's just a buzz having them - with one I'll call him when I know he's about to go into a meeting and tell him he's needed.

I had a mental block at work once and needed light relief - called him out of work to come and wank for me in my office. "

love it!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"No!

I had a domineering husband who sapped my confidence for years, a boss that made me feel equally useless and I just wanted to disappear. I used to dress in black, navy, brown and grey. I wanted to be invisible.

One day I just had enough!!! I remember my boss going on about something and dismissed me with the words - "I don't even know what you do around here!" I went into the office and told my staff to type up the briefings, letters EXACTLY how he'd written them. They asked me to check and I said no, just pp them and send them out.

A few days later he came into the office and started looking through the day book - we had to staple his original to the file copy. After a while he coughed and said "oh, we've been getting complaints that the standard of work coming out of the department is slacking, and the executives are complaining. I asked him to be specific, explain what he meant.

He took out a pile of correspondence and said, these haven't been corrected. I looked at it and said, "well, that's what you wrote" he said yes, but you always correct it. I looked at him and said - "now you know what I do...I make you look good!"

That was the turning point for me - I changed, I realised I'm quite a smart, funny, person and I was being subjugated by my husband and boss. I decided that I was going to leave my husband, but there was no way was I going to be a single parent, so waited until my youngest went to secondary school and I left.

I kept my head down, getting to know me and finding out what I liked. The first time I went shopping after leaving my husband I was confused - I didn't know what cereal I liked for heaven's sake as I always bought what the family wanted.

When I discovered internet dating that was a shock, as men just wanted to jump my bones. I felt appalled and flattered in equal measure, but found I couldn't put myself in a position where men dominated me again.

I don't recognise the woman I was. This new me is fearless, confident, ballsy, yes, arrogant at times, and enjoying the fun of playing with men. The thing is the men I play with HAVE to be successful, alpha males outside the bedroom for me to really enjoy them.

I have a couple that are really lovely men, and I enjoy playing with them as they are a great laugh and the look on their faces when I have a new toy is a huge turn on. The others, it's just a buzz having them - with one I'll call him when I know he's about to go into a meeting and tell him he's needed.

I had a mental block at work once and needed light relief - called him out of work to come and wank for me in my office.

love it!"

me too lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Was shy so terribly shy but was forced to come out of my shell when I worked in design. After marrying and moving to another country I was knocked back by chauvanistic attitudes adopted by my ex, fundamentalist propaganda and threats. I used to dress frumpy cos I no longer wanted sex and did not want my ex to be interested in me. Became quite overweight too.

Freed myself five years back now. Recovered slowly, but surely, and a couples of years back met my present man and we decided to try swinging and liked it.

What has brought back my confidence is first refinding my country, my culture, myself and my family, then my career, my old figure, (well nearly) then a sweet sweet man. Swinging has helped me to enjoy that refound confidence to the full.

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