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Dont call me 'Love'

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By *uckoo clock OP   Couple
over a year ago

Merseyside

So says Education Secretary Nicky Morgan yesterday after her opposite number in the Labour ranks called her so.

Good job she dont live here in Liverpool where it is widely used and regarded as a term of endearement.

So is it demeaning to women or do our political class have nothing better to do than find offence in everything ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If in a professional setting, I'd find it patronising.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I hate being called nicknames like Love. Dear. Young Lady. Missy. Chick. Mate. I always ask people not to do so, even if they're total strangers.

It might be common usage in some places in the country but it's not professional to use terms of endearment like that. It's a deeply patronising way to address someone in a professional environment. Could you imagine if she referred to male politicians as mate or lad? Perhaps she could call them boy?

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By *iwife81Couple
over a year ago

Bolton

It's true, here in lancs the term love is seen as an endearment, and is used a lot. However, I do get offended when I am called 'love' by a colleague, when quite clearly they wouldn't call a male colleague the same. In that context, I do find it degrading, if that makes Sense?

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"If in a professional setting, I'd find it patronising. "

Yes so would I. It's all about context and tone.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

nothing wrong with it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If in a professional setting, I'd find it patronising.

Yes so would I. It's all about context and tone."

This. Luv...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I hate being called nicknames like Love. Dear. Young Lady. Missy. Chick. Mate. I always ask people not to do so, even if they're total strangers.

It might be common usage in some places in the country but it's not professional to use terms of endearment like that. It's a deeply patronising way to address someone in a professional environment. Could you imagine if she referred to male politicians as mate or lad? Perhaps she could call them boy?"

yeap,,totally agree sweetcheeks

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I worked with one guy and he called everyone, men and women, flower. Only because I think he was crap at remembering names.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"If in a professional setting, I'd find it patronising.

Yes so would I. It's all about context and tone.

This. Luv... "

I have experienced this sort of patronising attitude in a professional setting and its quite difficult to deal with, if you call them out on it they act all hurt saying they're just being friendly or imply that you're a backlogged feminist. Women do it to other women too.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Of course when I say backlogged feminist I actually typed Jack booted! I don't need my tablets help to look daft

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There's some proper miserable people around. I would laugh if someone called me Madame. In the house of commons they should stick to proper terms for each other. I don't know in what tone the word love was spoken,it can be said in a patronising way or derogatory,which isn't acceptable. In my life workmen,shop assistants have called me love,it's very common here and women say mate to men.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"There's some proper miserable people around. I would laugh if someone called me Madame. In the house of commons they should stick to proper terms for each other. I don't know in what tone the word love was spoken,it can be said in a patronising way or derogatory,which isn't acceptable. In my life workmen,shop assistants have called me love,it's very common here and women say mate to men."

I don't care outside of work but negotiating a contract with someone for close on a million quid who calls me love is likely to make me wonder what their attitude to me will be down the line. As I said tone and context.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Nicky morgan looks like a typical feminist.

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By *ath_Neil_bifunCouple
over a year ago

near cardiff


"So says Education Secretary Nicky Morgan yesterday after her opposite number in the Labour ranks called her so.

Good job she dont live here in Liverpool where it is widely used and regarded as a term of endearement.

So is it demeaning to women or do our political class have nothing better to do than find offence in everything ?"

In the valleys you are either love or butt....and regardless of the setting there will be people round here who would never be able to not say it..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I left a job once because my boss was so obnoxious he would call me Duck.

He was from Derby where I believe it is a common expression but I felt like belting him around the head with a baseball bat everytime he said it!

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"I left a job once because my boss was so obnoxious he would call me Duck.

He was from Derby where I believe it is a common expression but I felt like belting him around the head with a baseball bat everytime he said it!

"

Just as well you did leave then

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By *artytwoCouple
over a year ago

Wolverhampton

Agree that it is not acceptable under any circumstances to receive patronising terms of endearment from strangers. You don't have a choice and would feel churlish complaining.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"There's some proper miserable people around. I would laugh if someone called me Madame. In the house of commons they should stick to proper terms for each other. I don't know in what tone the word love was spoken,it can be said in a patronising way or derogatory,which isn't acceptable. In my life workmen,shop assistants have called me love,it's very common here and women say mate to men.

I don't care outside of work but negotiating a contract with someone for close on a million quid who calls me love is likely to make me wonder what their attitude to me will be down the line. As I said tone and context."

I wouldn't be impressed AT ALL if this happened to me at work. I have no problem with this kind of address (obviously everyone is 'pet' up here) in shops, buses, pubs, whatever, but I work in a professional setting and it's not appropriate. People generally know that, I've only ever been called pet once in a work setting, by a guy that I assumed I was there to bring him a cup of tea....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Nicky morgan looks like a typical feminist."

I'm not sure I know what a typical feminist looks like. Would you care to expand?

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By *ouple in LancashireCouple
over a year ago

in Lancashire

Nicky Morgan has shown herself to be less than competent in her department thus far mind you she took over form that clown Gove..

wonder if she gets called 'dear' by Cameron..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When in Liverpool lock your car, cos they want your car stereo in the parking lot lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A lot of delicate wee souls on fab

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By *affy55Man
over a year ago

Abergele

Love is also used in Leeds, was a bit taken aback when I lived there & the butchers etc addressed everyone.

having said that

I detest the greeting "mate" currently common in Manchester

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"A lot of delicate wee souls on fab"

A few that don't know the meaning of professionalism too...

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

Like everything I guess it is all about context. Used as a "Thanks love" when someone does something for you is totally different to sneering the word to patronise someone.

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By *uckoo clock OP   Couple
over a year ago

Merseyside


"When in Liverpool lock your car, cos they want your car stereo in the parking lot lol "

Now that definitely is demeaning ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"So says Education Secretary Nicky Morgan yesterday after her opposite number in the Labour ranks called her so.

Good job she dont live here in Liverpool where it is widely used and regarded as a term of endearement.

So is it demeaning to women or do our political class have nothing better to do than find offence in everything ?

In the valleys you are either love or butt....and regardless of the setting there will be people round here who would never be able to not say it.."

Or bach or cariad

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By (user no longer on site)
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Used in a certain tone love and dear can be the most patronising words ever

I'd rather be called a cunt,at least you know where you stand

That's not an invite

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"When in Liverpool lock your car, cos they want your car stereo in the parking lot lol

Now that definitely is demeaning ?"
No as I heard rumors of it you know.

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo


"When in Liverpool lock your car, cos they want your car stereo in the parking lot lol "

The old ones are the best eh, where you even born in the eighties when those "jokes" were first made?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"A lot of delicate wee souls on fab"

Yes indeed.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"A lot of delicate wee souls on fab

A few that don't know the meaning of professionalism too..."

There's a lot don't know the meaning to a lot of things,doesn't make them any less entertaining

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo


"Used in a certain tone love and dear can be the most patronising words ever

I'd rather be called a cunt,at least you know where you stand

That's not an invite "

Damn I had the word all typed out and everyfink

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"When in Liverpool lock your car, cos they want your car stereo in the parking lot lol

The old ones are the best eh, where you even born in the eighties when those "jokes" were first made?"
Yes the best jokes was way back then, well was born 82 so yes I was around that time

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Nicky morgan looks like a typical feminist.

I'm not sure I know what a typical feminist looks like. Would you care to expand?"

someone who isn't very attractive, in her case a bit of an old dragon.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I worked with one guy and he called everyone, men and women, flower. Only because I think he was crap at remembering names."

This! I am terrible with names - so I use terms of endearment! No one's complained yet! xx

When the boot's on the other foot I have no problem being referred to as love, hun, sweetheart etc! Xx

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By *ouple in LancashireCouple
over a year ago

in Lancashire


"When in Liverpool lock your car, cos they want your car stereo in the parking lot lol

Now that definitely is demeaning ?"

its ok he doesn't have a car and only travels a short distance from home..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

In the correct situation it is ok and I do it with friends, however I hate people who are prolific offenders and try to be over familiar with me when I don't know them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"When in Liverpool lock your car, cos they want your car stereo in the parking lot lol "

To be honest Shag I hold on to my handbag a lot more tightly in London than I do in Liverpool - and I go to both places pretty regularly! Xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"When in Liverpool lock your car, cos they want your car stereo in the parking lot lol

Now that definitely is demeaning ?

its ok he doesn't have a car and only travels a short distance from home.. "
That's right I just travel few miles

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"When in Liverpool lock your car, cos they want your car stereo in the parking lot lol

To be honest Shag I hold on to my handbag a lot more tightly in London than I do in Liverpool - and I go to both places pretty regularly! Xx"
Yes you defo would need to do that in London, can be a bit rough, yeah that joke was from the 80's.

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By *inky BunnyMan
over a year ago

Cardiff


"I'm not sure I know what a typical feminist looks like. Would you care to expand?"

Well you can't recognize them all by their slovenly appearance but you can recognize their universal alarmist hysteria that demands that everyone has to walk on egg shells around them.

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By *asokittyWoman
over a year ago

Nr Worksop


"If in a professional setting, I'd find it patronising. "

Same. And from most men to be fair.

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By (user no longer on site)
Forum Mod
over a year ago


"A lot of delicate wee souls on fab

A few that don't know the meaning of professionalism too...

There's a lot don't know the meaning to a lot of things,doesn't make them any less entertaining"

You're entertaining

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'm not sure I know what a typical feminist looks like. Would you care to expand?

Well you can't recognize them all by their slovenly appearance but you can recognize their universal alarmist hysteria that demands that everyone has to walk on egg shells around them."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"There's some proper miserable people around. I would laugh if someone called me Madame. In the house of commons they should stick to proper terms for each other. I don't know in what tone the word love was spoken,it can be said in a patronising way or derogatory,which isn't acceptable. In my life workmen,shop assistants have called me love,it's very common here and women say mate to men.

I don't care outside of work but negotiating a contract with someone for close on a million quid who calls me love is likely to make me wonder what their attitude to me will be down the line. As I said tone and context."

It would depend on your job and work settings too. I would never have called my headmistress or teaching staff anything other than miss or sir,except away from children in private if we had that kind of relationship. MPs should know better so I'm betting my knickers that he was trying to belittle her. He should be sent on a gender relations workshop and have his pay suspended. That should stop him doing it again.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Everyone says it round here ha! I heard this bloke say it to another bloke and I was like u what! But I've got into saying now love! Ha! Cheers love, bye love!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Pet names drive me absolutely fucking batshit.

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By *ere-for-my-convenienceWoman
over a year ago

Tenbury Wells

It's certain not the worst thing I've been called by colleagueS

She needs to grow up in my opinion

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Pet names drive me absolutely fucking batshit.

"

What are pet names down your way? Two of my in laws call each other dear. They are younger than me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Are some people so unsure of their status as a "professional" that they can't bear to be called love? Its just a word, it hasnt any negative connotations to it, other than what you choose to put their. But it is reliant on how its said. Said with a sneer, its obviously someone trying to be horrible. But they are obviously a sexist relic, who is destined to die out. Its part of our (Lancashire) pattern of speech, like ducks is in Derby, or lover is in the west country.

I don't get upset at not being called Mr. Love and dear are politeness personified, maybe from a bygone era (to some), but I think in many ways it was a better era. There can be just as much of a sneer in the titles Mr, Mrs or when a dinosaur really wants to piss you off, "mizz". Prossionalism is getting the job done, its fuck all to do with window dressing. Unless your a window dresser....dear.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'm not sure I know what a typical feminist looks like. Would you care to expand?

Well you can't recognize them all by their slovenly appearance but you can recognize their universal alarmist hysteria that demands that everyone has to walk on egg shells around them."

& sensible shoes maybe?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Pet names drive me absolutely fucking batshit.

What are pet names down your way? Two of my in laws call each other dear. They are younger than me "

That's thing..

Different parts of the country are more receptive.

Down here it's weird and not well received unless you REALLY know someone.

I mean, my own mum doesn't even have a pet name for me as she knows how much I hate it.

She sometimes calls my Dad "Dear" but he just about, very marginally, accepts it.

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By *L RogueMan
over a year ago

London

My boss calls me love. If she used my name, it's most likely I've f**ked up!

Each to their own. In high-power settings like the House of Commons, I'd imagine women find it patronising because it's still an environment dominated by men where they're still battling for respect and equality.

But not all working environments are the same and not all working relationships are the same. Some businesses thrive on this level of familiarity in order to maintain team spirit within the company. For every person that doesn't like it, there's a person who doesn't mind. She's simply made her position clear.

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By *isscheekychopsWoman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

I don't mind doesn't really enter my brain but I'm not keen on being called love. I use lovely and treacle a lot

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"So says Education Secretary Nicky Morgan yesterday after her opposite number in the Labour ranks called her so.

Good job she dont live here in Liverpool where it is widely used and regarded as a term of

So is it demeaning to women or do our political class have nothing better to do than find offence in everything ?"

Its ok in the right context ,like a wolf whistle or odd cheeky not rude comment from a builder or white van man,but of course it can be over stepped. Lxxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I (Mr) always call people love it's what we do in manchester because we are nice welcoming friendly people but I do hate it when females call me mate !!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"So says Education Secretary Nicky Morgan yesterday after her opposite number in the Labour ranks called her so.

Good job she dont live here in Liverpool where it is widely used and regarded as a term of endearement.

So is it demeaning to women or do our political class have nothing better to do than find offence in everything ?"

As with everything language, it depends on the context. I can tell someone to fuck off or I can tell them to fuck off! It all depends what is meant by the words and tone

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Are some people so unsure of their status as a "professional" that they can't bear to be called love? Its just a word, it hasnt any negative connotations to it, other than what you choose to put their. But it is reliant on how its said. Said with a sneer, its obviously someone trying to be horrible. But they are obviously a sexist relic, who is destined to die out. Its part of our (Lancashire) pattern of speech, like ducks is in Derby, or lover is in the west country.

I don't get upset at not being called Mr. Love and dear are politeness personified, maybe from a bygone era (to some), but I think in many ways it was a better era. There can be just as much of a sneer in the titles Mr, Mrs or when a dinosaur really wants to piss you off, "mizz". Prossionalism is getting the job done, its fuck all to do with window dressing. Unless your a window dresser....dear. "

No. It's not about feeling unsure or insecure in your status or ability. And professionalism means a hell of a lot more than getting the job done at all costs. It also means being able to spell it, pet.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Are some people so unsure of their status as a "professional" that they can't bear to be called love? Its just a word, it hasnt any negative connotations to it, other than what you choose to put their. But it is reliant on how its said. Said with a sneer, its obviously someone trying to be horrible. But they are obviously a sexist relic, who is destined to die out. Its part of our (Lancashire) pattern of speech, like ducks is in Derby, or lover is in the west country.

I don't get upset at not being called Mr. Love and dear are politeness personified, maybe from a bygone era (to some), but I think in many ways it was a better era. There can be just as much of a sneer in the titles Mr, Mrs or when a dinosaur really wants to piss you off, "mizz". Prossionalism is getting the job done, its fuck all to do with window dressing. Unless your a window dresser....dear. "

I think it's demonstrative of a lack of respect. It's too familiar for the workplace. For example, you wouldn't call a Judge "love" as it's inappropriate and they wouldn't address you as "love" in court - professionalism works both ways. The same standards should be maintained across all work places.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I don't mind doesn't really enter my brain but I'm not keen on being called love. I use lovely and treacle a lot "

Okay hunnybun!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Are some people so unsure of their status as a "professional" that they can't bear to be called love? Its just a word, it hasnt any negative connotations to it, other than what you choose to put their. But it is reliant on how its said. Said with a sneer, its obviously someone trying to be horrible. But they are obviously a sexist relic, who is destined to die out. Its part of our (Lancashire) pattern of speech, like ducks is in Derby, or lover is in the west country.

I don't get upset at not being called Mr. Love and dear are politeness personified, maybe from a bygone era (to some), but I think in many ways it was a better era. There can be just as much of a sneer in the titles Mr, Mrs or when a dinosaur really wants to piss you off, "mizz". Prossionalism is getting the job done, its fuck all to do with window dressing. Unless your a window dresser....dear.

No. It's not about feeling unsure or insecure in your status or ability. And professionalism means a hell of a lot more than getting the job done at all costs. It also means being able to spell it, pet. "

Well pardon my sausage fingers, love. Its how the vast majority of us talk up here. We're comfortable enough with ourselves to not have to put on a front with each other. I talk with senior management up to and including director level, the word love is used unthinkingly. It punctuates our conversations. It doesn't stop us being professional. It depends on what your definition of professional means. Up here, it means getting the job done. We don't get paid for calling someone Dr, Mr or Ms, we get paid on results. That's how business works. If you turn down business because someone called you love, then your not a professional, its the bottom line on the accounts that keeps a business afloat, not how we address someone. Apart fr calling someone twattybollocks obviously.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Are some people so unsure of their status as a "professional" that they can't bear to be called love? Its just a word, it hasnt any negative connotations to it, other than what you choose to put their. But it is reliant on how its said. Said with a sneer, its obviously someone trying to be horrible. But they are obviously a sexist relic, who is destined to die out. Its part of our (Lancashire) pattern of speech, like ducks is in Derby, or lover is in the west country.

I don't get upset at not being called Mr. Love and dear are politeness personified, maybe from a bygone era (to some), but I think in many ways it was a better era. There can be just as much of a sneer in the titles Mr, Mrs or when a dinosaur really wants to piss you off, "mizz". Prossionalism is getting the job done, its fuck all to do with window dressing. Unless your a window dresser....dear.

I think it's demonstrative of a lack of respect. It's too familiar for the workplace. For example, you wouldn't call a Judge "love" as it's inappropriate and they wouldn't address you as "love" in court - professionalism works both ways. The same standards should be maintained across all work places. "

But what if everyone had worked together for years and are genuinely friends? Its an arbitrary standard and cannot be used everywhere. It would upset more people than it was trying to protect.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Are some people so unsure of their status as a "professional" that they can't bear to be called love? Its just a word, it hasnt any negative connotations to it, other than what you choose to put their. But it is reliant on how its said. Said with a sneer, its obviously someone trying to be horrible. But they are obviously a sexist relic, who is destined to die out. Its part of our (Lancashire) pattern of speech, like ducks is in Derby, or lover is in the west country.

I don't get upset at not being called Mr. Love and dear are politeness personified, maybe from a bygone era (to some), but I think in many ways it was a better era. There can be just as much of a sneer in the titles Mr, Mrs or when a dinosaur really wants to piss you off, "mizz". Prossionalism is getting the job done, its fuck all to do with window dressing. Unless your a window dresser....dear.

I think it's demonstrative of a lack of respect. It's too familiar for the workplace. For example, you wouldn't call a Judge "love" as it's inappropriate and they wouldn't address you as "love" in court - professionalism works both ways. The same standards should be maintained across all work places.

But what if everyone had worked together for years and are genuinely friends? Its an arbitrary standard and cannot be used everywhere. It would upset more people than it was trying to protect."

Then you're being overly familiar and unprofessional. It's not difficult to use work appropriate terms and I don't see why it would upset people so much to address people properly.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I hate being called nicknames like Love. Dear. Young Lady. Missy. Chick. Mate. I always ask people not to do so, even if they're total strangers."

Young lady is one that I dislike, especially if I'm older than them.

I also work with a guy who always calls me mate, he calls everyone it. It just wouldn't be my choice when addressing someone.

I guess it's all down to what's acceptable to us. I've been guilty of shortening names in the past - Rachel /Rach, Matthew/Matt - that doesn't always go down well! So I tend to ask at work now how they prefer to be addressed.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I hate being called nicknames like Love. Dear. Young Lady. Missy. Chick. Mate. I always ask people not to do so, even if they're total strangers.

Young lady is one that I dislike, especially if I'm older than them.

I also work with a guy who always calls me mate, he calls everyone it. It just wouldn't be my choice when addressing someone.

I guess it's all down to what's acceptable to us. I've been guilty of shortening names in the past - Rachel /Rach, Matthew/Matt - that doesn't always go down well! So I tend to ask at work now how they prefer to be addressed. "
okay, you've made your point young lady!

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By *ath_Neil_bifunCouple
over a year ago

near cardiff


"So says Education Secretary Nicky Morgan yesterday after her opposite number in the Labour ranks called her so.

Good job she dont live here in Liverpool where it is widely used and regarded as a term of endearement.

So is it demeaning to women or do our political class have nothing better to do than find offence in everything ?

In the valleys you are either love or butt....and regardless of the setting there will be people round here who would never be able to not say it..

Or bach or cariad "

The "professionals" couldn't handle wales!they'd be making social faux pas everywhere they went!

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By *ce WingerMan
over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ


"I left a job once because my boss was so obnoxious he would call me Duck.

He was from Derby where I believe it is a common expression but I felt like belting him around the head with a baseball bat everytime he said it!

"

Yes we do call people mi duck, but that goes for drakes as well

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

Well pardon my sausage fingers, love. Its how the vast majority of us talk up here. We're comfortable enough with ourselves to not have to put on a front with each other. I talk with senior management up to and including director level, the word love is used unthinkingly. It punctuates our conversations. It doesn't stop us being professional. It depends on what your definition of professional means. Up here, it means getting the job done. We don't get paid for calling someone Dr, Mr or Ms, we get paid on results. That's how business works. If you turn down business because someone called you love, then your not a professional, its the bottom line on the accounts that keeps a business afloat, not how we address someone. Apart fr calling someone twattybollocks obviously.

"

The problem is when you say 'could you not call me that please?' people think you're some kind of uptight, feminist, killjoy who is just trying to be difficult and make you out to be some kind of ogre.

I was given a name. It's ok, I don't mind it. My parents seemed to like it, so we'll go with that as a nice way to address me. It's a nice name, there's really nothing wrong with it. I'd prefer it if people used it in conversation rather than calling me whatever the hell they fancy.

It's professional to give me the respect to allow me to do my job. If you're calling me things that aren't my name, that's distracting. If you're going against my wishes when I've asked you not to do something, that's disrespectful.

A professional environment is one that allows each person to do their job to the best of their abilities. And being presumptuous about what people are ok being called isn't always a good working environment to everyone.

I had a colleague who always used to call me 'young lady'. Because he was a cunt. So I addressed him as 'old gentleman' each time I spoke to him, whenever he called me 'young lady'. He soon took the hint, and stopped referring to me and the other women as 'young lady'. Of course, it was me that was in the wrong...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Are some people so unsure of their status as a "professional" that they can't bear to be called love? Its just a word, it hasnt any negative connotations to it, other than what you choose to put their. But it is reliant on how its said. Said with a sneer, its obviously someone trying to be horrible. But they are obviously a sexist relic, who is destined to die out. Its part of our (Lancashire) pattern of speech, like ducks is in Derby, or lover is in the west country.

I don't get upset at not being called Mr. Love and dear are politeness personified, maybe from a bygone era (to some), but I think in many ways it was a better era. There can be just as much of a sneer in the titles Mr, Mrs or when a dinosaur really wants to piss you off, "mizz". Prossionalism is getting the job done, its fuck all to do with window dressing. Unless your a window dresser....dear.

I think it's demonstrative of a lack of respect. It's too familiar for the workplace. For example, you wouldn't call a Judge "love" as it's inappropriate and they wouldn't address you as "love" in court - professionalism works both ways. The same standards should be maintained across all work places.

But what if everyone had worked together for years and are genuinely friends? Its an arbitrary standard and cannot be used everywhere. It would upset more people than it was trying to protect.

Then you're being overly familiar and unprofessional. It's not difficult to use work appropriate terms and I don't see why it would upset people so much to address people properly. "

I'm not being overly familiar. I've known them for years, and we are all friends. Just because we are in our place of work, it doesn't follow that we have to address each other in a different way than we would outside of work. You presume that we can't work professionally because of our mode of speech is the same as we always use? All it does is show what a well oiled team we are. We don't need formal modes of address with each other. We are at work getting the job done, we are not playing at work roles. When you have worked with people for years that have become friends, it would upset people to suddenly start to be called "Ms Smith" rather than love. To change your vocabulary would be unnatural and unnecessary.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't like being called pal though. Its always done sarcastically, by two pint screamers who are itching for a fight.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Are some people so unsure of their status as a "professional" that they can't bear to be called love? Its just a word, it hasnt any negative connotations to it, other than what you choose to put their. But it is reliant on how its said. Said with a sneer, its obviously someone trying to be horrible. But they are obviously a sexist relic, who is destined to die out. Its part of our (Lancashire) pattern of speech, like ducks is in Derby, or lover is in the west country.

I don't get upset at not being called Mr. Love and dear are politeness personified, maybe from a bygone era (to some), but I think in many ways it was a better era. There can be just as much of a sneer in the titles Mr, Mrs or when a dinosaur really wants to piss you off, "mizz". Prossionalism is getting the job done, its fuck all to do with window dressing. Unless your a window dresser....dear.

I think it's demonstrative of a lack of respect. It's too familiar for the workplace. For example, you wouldn't call a Judge "love" as it's inappropriate and they wouldn't address you as "love" in court - professionalism works both ways. The same standards should be maintained across all work places.

But what if everyone had worked together for years and are genuinely friends? Its an arbitrary standard and cannot be used everywhere. It would upset more people than it was trying to protect.

Then you're being overly familiar and unprofessional. It's not difficult to use work appropriate terms and I don't see why it would upset people so much to address people properly.

I'm not being overly familiar. I've known them for years, and we are all friends. Just because we are in our place of work, it doesn't follow that we have to address each other in a different way than we would outside of work. You presume that we can't work professionally because of our mode of speech is the same as we always use? All it does is show what a well oiled team we are. We don't need formal modes of address with each other. We are at work getting the job done, we are not playing at work roles. When you have worked with people for years that have become friends, it would upset people to suddenly start to be called "Ms Smith" rather than love. To change your vocabulary would be unnatural and unnecessary."

It kinda sounds like you wanna do what you wanna do without giving a toss about whether it really is professional or not. I don't really care what you do, but it's definitely not a professional habit to have.

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By *ath_Neil_bifunCouple
over a year ago

near cardiff

[Removed by poster at 09/03/15 16:30:46]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I bloody hate it ...its patronising and I am no ones love on here or lot n about! I do find it very patronising

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

Well pardon my sausage fingers, love. Its how the vast majority of us talk up here. We're comfortable enough with ourselves to not have to put on a front with each other. I talk with senior management up to and including director level, the word love is used unthinkingly. It punctuates our conversations. It doesn't stop us being professional. It depends on what your definition of professional means. Up here, it means getting the job done. We don't get paid for calling someone Dr, Mr or Ms, we get paid on results. That's how business works. If you turn down business because someone called you love, then your not a professional, its the bottom line on the accounts that keeps a business afloat, not how we address someone. Apart fr calling someone twattybollocks obviously.

The problem is when you say 'could you not call me that please?' people think you're some kind of uptight, feminist, killjoy who is just trying to be difficult and make you out to be some kind of ogre.

I was given a name. It's ok, I don't mind it. My parents seemed to like it, so we'll go with that as a nice way to address me. It's a nice name, there's really nothing wrong with it. I'd prefer it if people used it in conversation rather than calling me whatever the hell they fancy.

It's professional to give me the respect to allow me to do my job. If you're calling me things that aren't my name, that's distracting. If you're going against my wishes when I've asked you not to do something, that's disrespectful.

A professional environment is one that allows each person to do their job to the best of their abilities. And being presumptuous about what people are ok being called isn't always a good working environment to everyone.

I had a colleague who always used to call me 'young lady'. Because he was a cunt. So I addressed him as 'old gentleman' each time I spoke to him, whenever he called me 'young lady'. He soon took the hint, and stopped referring to me and the other women as 'young lady'. Of course, it was me that was in the wrong..."

To be fair...he does sound like a cunt. My point, is when its a team of people that have known each other for years, and everyone is happy to do it, then its not unprofessional. And to be honest, its almost all the women I work with that call me and each other love. But as I said, its not even a term of endearment, its an unthinking method of punctuation in our speech patterns, amongst ourselves cock.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I call nearly everyone hun. It's a very common phrase where I'm from. Wouldn't use it in a professional setting and if someone didn't like it then it says more about them than me. Some people take offence at everything, even where none is intended. Quite sad really.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

One of my bosses used to use my first initial instead of my full name - until I accused him if being THAT lazy that he couldn't be arsed to say it in full!

All said in a polite/jokey way, but he got the message

I find some pet words cute, although when I used to be called 'pet' a lot a few barks/miaows after the usage soon stopped that ! Lol

Sara

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I left a job once because my boss was so obnoxious he would call me Duck.

He was from Derby where I believe it is a common expression but I felt like belting him around the head with a baseball bat everytime he said it!

Yes we do call people mi duck, but that goes for drakes as well "
oh, I see now why it was called the baseball ground, - often wondered!

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By *ce WingerMan
over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ


"I don't like being called pal though. Its always done sarcastically, by two pint screamers who are itching for a fight. "

See you Jimmy

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Are some people so unsure of their status as a "professional" that they can't bear to be called love? Its just a word, it hasnt any negative connotations to it, other than what you choose to put their. But it is reliant on how its said. Said with a sneer, its obviously someone trying to be horrible. But they are obviously a sexist relic, who is destined to die out. Its part of our (Lancashire) pattern of speech, like ducks is in Derby, or lover is in the west country.

I don't get upset at not being called Mr. Love and dear are politeness personified, maybe from a bygone era (to some), but I think in many ways it was a better era. There can be just as much of a sneer in the titles Mr, Mrs or when a dinosaur really wants to piss you off, "mizz". Prossionalism is getting the job done, its fuck all to do with window dressing. Unless your a window dresser....dear.

I think it's demonstrative of a lack of respect. It's too familiar for the workplace. For example, you wouldn't call a Judge "love" as it's inappropriate and they wouldn't address you as "love" in court - professionalism works both ways. The same standards should be maintained across all work places.

But what if everyone had worked together for years and are genuinely friends? Its an arbitrary standard and cannot be used everywhere. It would upset more people than it was trying to protect.

Then you're being overly familiar and unprofessional. It's not difficult to use work appropriate terms and I don't see why it would upset people so much to address people properly.

I'm not being overly familiar. I've known them for years, and we are all friends. Just because we are in our place of work, it doesn't follow that we have to address each other in a different way than we would outside of work. You presume that we can't work professionally because of our mode of speech is the same as we always use? All it does is show what a well oiled team we are. We don't need formal modes of address with each other. We are at work getting the job done, we are not playing at work roles. When you have worked with people for years that have become friends, it would upset people to suddenly start to be called "Ms Smith" rather than love. To change your vocabulary would be unnatural and unnecessary.

It kinda sounds like you wanna do what you wanna do without giving a toss about whether it really is professional or not. I don't really care what you do, but it's definitely not a professional habit to have. "

Here's the thing though. Its not me doing it. Its ALL the women here that call everyone love. I really don't mind. I know there isn't any meaning to it. It's just part of our dialect. And I would be sorry to see it go.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I don't like being called pal though. Its always done sarcastically, by two pint screamers who are itching for a fight.

See you Jimmy "

Steady the buffs, take it outside if you want....but you'll be there on your own!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I call nearly everyone hun. It's a very common phrase where I'm from. Wouldn't use it in a professional setting and if someone didn't like it then it says more about them than me. Some people take offence at everything, even where none is intended. Quite sad really."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Geez there's been some professional bollocks being posted on here this Arvo!!

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By *ce WingerMan
over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ


"oh, I see now why it was called the baseball ground, - often wondered! "

Stephen "Steve" Bloomer (20 January 1874 – 16 April 1938) was an England international footballer and manager who played for Derby County and Middlesbrough. Derby County's record goalscorer, the anthem Steve Bloomer's Watchin' is played at every Derby home game and there is a bust of him at Pride Park Stadium. He is also listed in the Football League 100 Legends and English Football Hall of Fame.

Steve Bloomer also played baseball for Derby County Baseball Club and helped them become British champions three times in the 1890s

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"So says Education Secretary Nicky Morgan yesterday after her opposite number in the Labour ranks called her so.

Good job she dont live here in Liverpool where it is widely used and regarded as a term of endearement.

So is it demeaning to women or do our political class have nothing better to do than find offence in everything ?

In the valleys you are either love or butt....and regardless of the setting there will be people round here who would never be able to not say it.."

'Sappening butt alright or what,

That's what I hear a lot of, and fella!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"oh, I see now why it was called the baseball ground, - often wondered!

Stephen "Steve" Bloomer (20 January 1874 – 16 April 1938) was an England international footballer and manager who played for Derby County and Middlesbrough. Derby County's record goalscorer, the anthem Steve Bloomer's Watchin' is played at every Derby home game and there is a bust of him at Pride Park Stadium. He is also listed in the Football League 100 Legends and English Football Hall of Fame.

Steve Bloomer also played baseball for Derby County Baseball Club and helped them become British champions three times in the 1890s "
cheers for that. I often wondered as a kid why that was, especially as it was the wrong shape for a baseball ground..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Of course when I say backlogged feminist I actually typed Jack booted! I don't need my tablets help to look daft "

Laxatives luv.

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By *ath_Neil_bifunCouple
over a year ago

near cardiff


"So says Education Secretary Nicky Morgan yesterday after her opposite number in the Labour ranks called her so.

Good job she dont live here in Liverpool where it is widely used and regarded as a term of endearement.

So is it demeaning to women or do our political class have nothing better to do than find offence in everything ?

In the valleys you are either love or butt....and regardless of the setting there will be people round here who would never be able to not say it..

'Sappening butt alright or what,

That's what I hear a lot of, and fella! "

Butt is the one around my valley..even the ladies call you it!

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By *ce WingerMan
over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ


"oh, I see now why it was called the baseball ground, - often wondered!

cheers for that. I often wondered as a kid why that was, especially as it was the wrong shape for a baseball ground.."

The stadium featured two 3-tier stands at either end, both with the lowest tier not facing completely straight towards the pitch (due to the previous configuration for baseball) giving a wedge-like appearance at one end

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By *igeiaWoman
over a year ago

Bristol


"There's some proper miserable people around. I would laugh if someone called me Madame. In the house of commons they should stick to proper terms for each other. I don't know in what tone the word love was spoken,it can be said in a patronising way or derogatory,which isn't acceptable. In my life workmen,shop assistants have called me love,it's very common here and women say mate to men.

I don't care outside of work but negotiating a contract with someone for close on a million quid who calls me love is likely to make me wonder what their attitude to me will be down the line. As I said tone and context.

I wouldn't be impressed AT ALL if this happened to me at work. I have no problem with this kind of address (obviously everyone is 'pet' up here) in shops, buses, pubs, whatever, but I work in a professional setting and it's not appropriate. People generally know that, I've only ever been called pet once in a work setting, by a guy that I assumed I was there to bring him a cup of tea...."

I had something similar. Someone new to my work said "cheers love" as I buzzed them in at reception, asked where my department was then thanked me with a "nice one sweetheart". Cue their embarrassment and frantic back pedalling 10 minutes later when I entered the conference room they were in and was introduced to them with my full title and it became clear that I was the person actually in charge...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"oh, I see now why it was called the baseball ground, - often wondered!

cheers for that. I often wondered as a kid why that was, especially as it was the wrong shape for a baseball ground..

The stadium featured two 3-tier stands at either end, both with the lowest tier not facing completely straight towards the pitch (due to the previous configuration for baseball) giving a wedge-like appearance at one end "

Yes I do remember the three-tiered stands & I did go there once with the irons - but everything seemed a bit skewiff in those piddley days!!

......& we were hammered on the pitch too!!

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By *uby0000Woman
over a year ago

hertfordshire

id be offended if they called me mister lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

To be fair...he does sound like a cunt. My point, is when its a team of people that have known each other for years, and everyone is happy to do it, then its not unprofessional. And to be honest, its almost all the women I work with that call me and each other love. But as I said, its not even a term of endearment, its an unthinking method of punctuation in our speech patterns, amongst ourselves cock."

And the thread is about people who aren't mates and who are in the public eye.

It's highly disrespectful for a politician to refer to another from the other party as 'love'.

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By *londeCazWoman
over a year ago

Arse End of the Universe, Cumbria

Almost everyone I pass in the corridor at work gets called chick, I use it in phone convos, whilst talking to colleagues and in emails occasionally. If someone asked me not to call them that, I'd not be offended and do my best not to, but it's a force of habit with me. I don't mind what I'm referred to as, but I do believe "love" can be used in a patronising way

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Are some people so unsure of their status as a "professional" that they can't bear to be called love? Its just a word, it hasnt any negative connotations to it, other than what you choose to put their. But it is reliant on how its said. Said with a sneer, its obviously someone trying to be horrible. But they are obviously a sexist relic, who is destined to die out. Its part of our (Lancashire) pattern of speech, like ducks is in Derby, or lover is in the west country.

I don't get upset at not being called Mr. Love and dear are politeness personified, maybe from a bygone era (to some), but I think in many ways it was a better era. There can be just as much of a sneer in the titles Mr, Mrs or when a dinosaur really wants to piss you off, "mizz". Prossionalism is getting the job done, its fuck all to do with window dressing. Unless your a window dresser....dear.

No. It's not about feeling unsure or insecure in your status or ability. And professionalism means a hell of a lot more than getting the job done at all costs. It also means being able to spell it, pet.

Well pardon my sausage fingers, love. Its how the vast majority of us talk up here. We're comfortable enough with ourselves to not have to put on a front with each other. I talk with senior management up to and including director level, the word love is used unthinkingly. It punctuates our conversations. It doesn't stop us being professional. It depends on what your definition of professional means. Up here, it means getting the job done. We don't get paid for calling someone Dr, Mr or Ms, we get paid on results. That's how business works. If you turn down business because someone called you love, then your not a professional, its the bottom line on the accounts that keeps a business afloat, not how we address someone. Apart fr calling someone twattybollocks obviously.

"

"Up here?" Pal, this isn't a North/South thing, I'm a Geordie. I pull all my friends up on their spelling, why are you bothered? Aren't you secure about your ability to spell?

I assume you get the point I'm making. I'm never ever going to agree with your version of professionalism but I suspect we work in very, very different environments. Only similarity being mine is full of patronising older men as well.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"There's some proper miserable people around. I would laugh if someone called me Madame. In the house of commons they should stick to proper terms for each other. I don't know in what tone the word love was spoken,it can be said in a patronising way or derogatory,which isn't acceptable. In my life workmen,shop assistants have called me love,it's very common here and women say mate to men.

I don't care outside of work but negotiating a contract with someone for close on a million quid who calls me love is likely to make me wonder what their attitude to me will be down the line. As I said tone and context.

I wouldn't be impressed AT ALL if this happened to me at work. I have no problem with this kind of address (obviously everyone is 'pet' up here) in shops, buses, pubs, whatever, but I work in a professional setting and it's not appropriate. People generally know that, I've only ever been called pet once in a work setting, by a guy that I assumed I was there to bring him a cup of tea....

I had something similar. Someone new to my work said "cheers love" as I buzzed them in at reception, asked where my department was then thanked me with a "nice one sweetheart". Cue their embarrassment and frantic back pedalling 10 minutes later when I entered the conference room they were in and was introduced to them with my full title and it became clear that I was the person actually in charge..."

He did at least have the grace to look really embarrassed when he realised I was the person in charge who was there to deliver the presentation. But I've never worn a white blouse and black skirt again!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Almost everyone I pass in the corridor at work gets called chick, I use it in phone convos, whilst talking to colleagues and in emails occasionally. If someone asked me not to call them that, I'd not be offended and do my best not to, but it's a force of habit with me. I don't mind what I'm referred to as, but I do believe "love" can be used in a patronising way"

I call people a cunt alot at work. I try to remember not to... but you know... it's just a force of habit with me.

Might be why I'm now self employed.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

To be fair...he does sound like a cunt. My point, is when its a team of people that have known each other for years, and everyone is happy to do it, then its not unprofessional. And to be honest, its almost all the women I work with that call me and each other love. But as I said, its not even a term of endearment, its an unthinking method of punctuation in our speech patterns, amongst ourselves cock.

And the thread is about people who aren't mates and who are in the public eye.

It's highly disrespectful for a politician to refer to another from the other party as 'love'."

Tristram Hunt, just one letter short of a very accurate name for him! To use the term love or anything similar in the context that he did was patronising beyond belief.

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By *londeCazWoman
over a year ago

Arse End of the Universe, Cumbria


"Almost everyone I pass in the corridor at work gets called chick, I use it in phone convos, whilst talking to colleagues and in emails occasionally. If someone asked me not to call them that, I'd not be offended and do my best not to, but it's a force of habit with me. I don't mind what I'm referred to as, but I do believe "love" can be used in a patronising way

I call people a cunt alot at work. I try to remember not to... but you know... it's just a force of habit with me.

Might be why I'm now self employed. "

...there's one or two I call cunt as well

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

To be fair...he does sound like a cunt. My point, is when its a team of people that have known each other for years, and everyone is happy to do it, then its not unprofessional. And to be honest, its almost all the women I work with that call me and each other love. But as I said, its not even a term of endearment, its an unthinking method of punctuation in our speech patterns, amongst ourselves cock.

And the thread is about people who aren't mates and who are in the public eye.

It's highly disrespectful for a politician to refer to another from the other party as 'love'."

But we have deviated from the ops original question. As we always will.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

been called alot worse

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