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help with a friend

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I have a male friend who is awful with the ladies. Recently he has met a Canadian 'woman' online, he is completely besotted with her and has told me that he is spending over £2,000 so he can go and meet her. He won't listen to anything I say, I have even offered to go with him in case things go wrong, but he declined. Any advise over what I can do?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Leave him to it. If she doesn't exist, be there for him. If she does exist, be his best man.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I have a male friend who is awful with the ladies. Recently he has met a Canadian 'woman' online, he is completely besotted with her and has told me that he is spending over £2,000 so he can go and meet her. He won't listen to anything I say, I have even offered to go with him in case things go wrong, but he declined. Any advise over what I can do?"

All you can do is be there if he needs you.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

The problem is he has never been in a relationship and he is very naive and gullible.

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By *afadaoMan
over a year ago

Staines


"Leave him to it. If she doesn't exist, be there for him. If she does exist, be his best man. "

Yep, this is the way to go.

Sometimes you just have to let people make their own mistakes, it's the best way to learn. And actually, it might not even be a mistake.

If I had a quid for every time I made an error of judgement regarding a woman - well, I'd pay for your mate's ticket to Canada for starters

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd be concerened if he was spending the money on her coming to see him. But if he's flying out there what's the issue? Worst case scenario he gets a holiday in Canada

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Very much like your friend, I did the same with a woman in America. I moved there for her, and even though it only lasted a couple of years, it was still the best decision I made. I suggest you be supportive of his decision.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 09/03/15 15:05:32]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I have a male friend who is awful with the ladies. Recently he has met a Canadian 'woman' online, he is completely besotted with her and has told me that he is spending over £2,000 so he can go and meet her. He won't listen to anything I say, I have even offered to go with him in case things go wrong, but he declined. Any advise over what I can do?"

Where do I start . . .

First of all, unless he is flying to the arctic area of Canada, or he is going for three months, if he is spending £2000 he is getting ripped off - a ticket to Canada costs about £600 and the hotels are relatively inexpensive.

Next, a question: Exactly how is he awful with the ladies? Perhaps we could give more constructive advice if we knew that.

Thirdly, just a little concerned that 'woman' is in quotation marks - are you not certain of her gender or is she far too young or too old for him?

Lastly, as others have said, the worst that can happen is that he'll learn a life lesson (he could also conceivably freeze to death, get hacked up with an axe and fed to polar bears or come back with a broken heart. The best is that he meets the woman of his dreams. The most likely scenario is the first and if it only costs him £2000 then it's probably worth it.

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By *nleashedCrakenMan
over a year ago

Widnes


"I have a male friend who is awful with the ladies. Recently he has met a Canadian 'woman' online, he is completely besotted with her and has told me that he is spending over £2,000 so he can go and meet her. He won't listen to anything I say, I have even offered to go with him in case things go wrong, but he declined. Any advise over what I can do?

Where do I start . . .

First of all, unless he is flying to the arctic area of Canada, or he is going for three months, if he is spending £2000 he is getting ripped off - a ticket to Canada costs about £600 and the hotels are relatively inexpensive.

Next, a question: Exactly how is he awful with the ladies? Perhaps we could give more constructive advice if we knew that.

Thirdly, just a little concerned that 'woman' is in quotation marks - are you not certain of her gender or is she far too young or too old for him?

Lastly, as others have said, the worst that can happen is that he'll learn a life lesson (he could also conceivably freeze to death, get hacked up with an axe and fed to polar bears or come back with a broken heart. The best is that he meets the woman of his dreams. The most likely scenario is the first and if it only costs him £2000 then it's probably worth it."

This, and very well put, as always.

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By *isty286Couple
over a year ago

Dorset

2k will get him into a lot of clubs, he might not be quite so innocent after the swingers there have educated him...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Leave him to it. He might know what he's doing.

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By *nleashedCrakenMan
over a year ago

Widnes


"2k will get him into a lot of clubs, he might not be quite so innocent after the swingers there have educated him... "

Don't know about the Swingers over there but the ones over here managed to destroy my innocence pretty dam quickly.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"2k will get him into a lot of clubs, he might not be quite so innocent after the swingers there have educated him... "

I could be wrong but it sounds like the chap is after a relationship and although it's not impossible he'll find one in a club it is unlikely.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

if it turns out well you can simply be happy for him - if it goes tits up you can be there to support him - no told you so's - this is how we learn through trying

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

I met a lad from the north west at an airport several thousand miles away once. He had had an online relationship with a woman, including phone conversations and flew to meet her.

She didn't appear to pick him up at the airport, and it was very late at night when I landed. He gave her my number and we eventually chatted.

My experience is that online romances are easy when someone is thousands of miles apart, and people aren't fully themselves nor expecting that they'll probably meet up, as it's somewhat a fantasy, if they're realistic.

Your friend will do what he wants and will probably not take advice as an elusive relationship that he's not had will seem there for the taking. He will probably end up as upset as the lad I met at the airport 10,000 miles away, even if she does turn up.

I'd advise the cheapest RETURN ticket, with a short period between landing and returning. That way he'd be able to check how genuine she is and if there's any possible compatibility. Buying a one way or a long period of validity ticket is almost certainly the wrong thing to do. Open return tickets are also much too expensive, as he could buy 4 or 5 cheap returns for the same price.

Good that you're thinking of him!

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By *ce WingerMan
over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ


"2k will get him into a lot of clubs, he might not be quite so innocent after the swingers there have educated him... "

Why do you think we invade the Canada Swingers Forum

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By *himaeraWoman
over a year ago

near derby.


"2k will get him into a lot of clubs, he might not be quite so innocent after the swingers there have educated him...

Don't know about the Swingers over there but the ones over here managed to destroy my innocence pretty dam quickly. "

Ooh how very dare you!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The problem is he has never been in a relationship and he is very naive and gullible. "

How old is said person?..

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