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Ignoring Her....

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

So here's the situation....

Recently I've decided to end it with a female sex buddy but it hasn't been as easy as I thought.

To be honest it was never regular but more occasional, when we both had time and were free.

However, she isn't taking it that well and is asking me 101 questions (i.e. Why? Is there someone else? etc etc).

Should I just ignore her and hope this goes away?

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

Just tell her why then leave it at that.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Just tell her why then leave it at that. "

I have, but I guess she doesn't like the reason

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Just tell her why then leave it at that.

I have, but I guess she doesn't like the reason"

What is the reason?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just quote american psycho...

Just copy and paste this - job done!

"I'm fucking serious. It's fucking over, us, this is no joke. I don't think we should see each other any more.

You're just not terribly important to me!"

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By *nnyMan
over a year ago

Glasgow


"Just tell her why then leave it at that.

I have, but I guess she doesn't like the reason"

I doubt it's the reason. More likely the rejection.

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By *isscheekychopsWoman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

I hate being ignored but I do believe that this is the better solution. You have said your piece and broke it off. At least you have her the decency and told her and didn't just decide to ignore her when she was messaging

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By *nleashedCrakenMan
over a year ago

Widnes

Despite what we all say about NSA and the rest. Sometimes emotions get involved, especially when, what started out as a bit of fun turns into a relationship of sorts.

At the end of the day you have a simple choice. Either ignore and possibly block her, or answer her questions.

Which of these you decide to do is up to you and probably depends on how much, if anything, she does or did mean to you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Despite what we all say about NSA and the rest. Sometimes emotions get involved, especially when, what started out as a bit of fun turns into a relationship of sorts.

At the end of the day you have a simple choice. Either ignore and possibly block her, or answer her questions.

Which of these you decide to do is up to you and probably depends on how much, if anything, she does or did mean to you."

This x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Just quote american psycho...

Just copy and paste this - job done!

"I'm fucking serious. It's fucking over, us, this is no joke. I don't think we should see each other any more.

You're just not terribly important to me!""

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

I hope she isn't on Fab.

Be kind and sometimes kindness means not communicating.

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

I don't know her or you but basing this on me I only keep digging for an answer when the answer I get doesn't ring true.

When the answer sounds like the truth then it's easier to accept and move on.

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By *ovely CummingsWoman
over a year ago

Peaky Nipples


"Just tell her why then leave it at that.

I have, but I guess she doesn't like the reason"

Tell her this if she asks again?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

tell her your gay now, but it took this long to discover.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I don't know her or you but basing this on me I only keep digging for an answer when the answer I get doesn't ring true.

When the answer sounds like the truth then it's easier to accept and move on.

"

This for me too.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Thanks for the responses! It is great a lot of the ladies are replying, I appreciate the advice

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why are you ending it by the way- I'm curious?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I don't know her or you but basing this on me I only keep digging for an answer when the answer I get doesn't ring true.

When the answer sounds like the truth then it's easier to accept and move on.

This for me too."

Me too

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I don't know her or you but basing this on me I only keep digging for an answer when the answer I get doesn't ring true.

When the answer sounds like the truth then it's easier to accept and move on.

"

But sometimes people don't want to hear the truth....

"Truth Hurts"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ahhh the Sympathy Vote..Never fails.

Gimp

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By *isscheekychopsWoman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon


"I don't know her or you but basing this on me I only keep digging for an answer when the answer I get doesn't ring true.

When the answer sounds like the truth then it's easier to accept and move on.

"

See I can't be arsed trying to find out answers. I would rather just think fuck it and deal with it..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

sorry to hear your bored alone in the hotel

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I don't know her or you but basing this on me I only keep digging for an answer when the answer I get doesn't ring true.

When the answer sounds like the truth then it's easier to accept and move on.

But sometimes people don't want to hear the truth....

"Truth Hurts" "

I agree. Women also get nasty and have to send texts relentlessly saying how much of a pig you are!

Make a nice excuse up!

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound


"I don't know her or you but basing this on me I only keep digging for an answer when the answer I get doesn't ring true.

When the answer sounds like the truth then it's easier to accept and move on.

But sometimes people don't want to hear the truth....

"Truth Hurts" "

It does but a hurtful lie feels much worse. That's just me though.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I don't know her or you but basing this on me I only keep digging for an answer when the answer I get doesn't ring true.

When the answer sounds like the truth then it's easier to accept and move on.

See I can't be arsed trying to find out answers. I would rather just think fuck it and deal with it.."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If it was only occasional what was there to end? .......... Have you told her the exact reason you don't want to meet again or just trying to wriggle out of something you may have promised but can't deliver ? Just a question !!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"sorry to hear your bored alone in the hotel "

Lol I'm guessing that's for me.. It is pretty shit to be fair lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I don't know her or you but basing this on me I only keep digging for an answer when the answer I get doesn't ring true.

When the answer sounds like the truth then it's easier to accept and move on.

But sometimes people don't want to hear the truth....

"Truth Hurts" "

Everyone is different.

If you can honestly say you've told her the truth then I would explain nicely once again & if that fails you may need to start ignoring her messages.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Why are you ending it by the way- I'm curious?"

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By (user no longer on site)
Forum Mod
over a year ago


"Just tell her why then leave it at that.

I have, but I guess she doesn't like the reason"

If she doesn't like the reason then you're not obliged to make up something that suits her

She should be adult enough to accept what you have told her

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By *radleyandRavenCouple
over a year ago

Herts


"Just tell her why then leave it at that.

I have, but I guess she doesn't like the reason."

This is the point I'd cut all contact. To me it's like people on here asking "Why?" after a rejection and then trying to change your mind. If the agreement was only for sex, than it's her own fault if she got emotionally attached.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Just tell her why then leave it at that.

I have, but I guess she doesn't like the reason.

This is the point I'd cut all contact. To me it's like people on here asking "Why?" after a rejection and then trying to change your mind. If the agreement was only for sex, than it's her own fault if she got emotionally attached."

Just be prepared to deal with 'Damage Control'

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By *radleyandRavenCouple
over a year ago

Herts


"Just tell her why then leave it at that.

I have, but I guess she doesn't like the reason

If she doesn't like the reason then you're not obliged to make up something that suits her

She should be adult enough to accept what you have told her"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Don't ask to see her again. If she asks say you aren't free. She should get fed up asking. I would just say ok if one of my friends said it's over. Ok,then number deleted.

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By *radleyandRavenCouple
over a year ago

Herts


"Just tell her why then leave it at that.

I have, but I guess she doesn't like the reason.

This is the point I'd cut all contact. To me it's like people on here asking "Why?" after a rejection and then trying to change your mind. If the agreement was only for sex, than it's her own fault if she got emotionally attached.

Just be prepared to deal with 'Damage Control'"

What do you mean?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

Should I just ignore her and hope this goes away? "

Whether you ignore her or not depends on how many times you've given her the same answer or not.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When people get upset and then bad mouth you everywhere!

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By *oobsandballsMan
over a year ago

st andrews

I'd much rather know the reason, even if I didn't like it. That way I could move on.

If you've told her the truth, and she doesn't like it, all you can do is explain why once again and leave it at that. If she pesters you, then ignore her

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By *radleyandRavenCouple
over a year ago

Herts


"When people get upset and then bad mouth you everywhere!"

Oh, we've had that before.

It helps not to care what people think.

Plus, the people that matter will know what you're truly like and the ones who go off of hearsay aren't worth bothering with. x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"When people get upset and then bad mouth you everywhere!

Oh, we've had that before.

It helps not to care what people think.

Plus, the people that matter will know what you're truly like and the ones who go off of hearsay aren't worth bothering with. x"

I know, it's a pain in the arse though, especially as his situation was meant to be NSA!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

just be nice...be blunt if you have to....but be nice...doesnt cost you anything....and then cut contact if you have to.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"just be nice...be blunt if you have to....but be nice...doesnt cost you anything....and then cut contact if you have to."

Exactly this^^

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound


"When people get upset and then bad mouth you everywhere!

Oh, we've had that before.

It helps not to care what people think.

Plus, the people that matter will know what you're truly like and the ones who go off of hearsay aren't worth bothering with. x

I know, it's a pain in the arse though, especially as his situation was meant to be NSA!"

The OP? We only have one half, with no substantial detail, of this tale.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sit her down personally and give a real and true explanation......hurts like hell for a long long time just when they just up and go like a fart in the wind with half an explanation. Make the pain short and sharp, not a drawn out ache..

One you've done that, walk.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"When people get upset and then bad mouth you everywhere!

Oh, we've had that before.

It helps not to care what people think.

Plus, the people that matter will know what you're truly like and the ones who go off of hearsay aren't worth bothering with. x

I know, it's a pain in the arse though, especially as his situation was meant to be NSA!

The OP? We only have one half, with no substantial detail, of this tale.

"

I agree there, all questions have been ignored when we ask for the reasons!

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By *oobsandballsMan
over a year ago

st andrews


"When people get upset and then bad mouth you everywhere!

Oh, we've had that before.

It helps not to care what people think.

Plus, the people that matter will know what you're truly like and the ones who go off of hearsay aren't worth bothering with. x

I know, it's a pain in the arse though, especially as his situation was meant to be NSA!

The OP? We only have one half, with no substantial detail, of this tale.

I agree there, all questions have been ignored when we ask for the reasons!"

To be fair, he doesn't have to tell us

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound


"When people get upset and then bad mouth you everywhere!

Oh, we've had that before.

It helps not to care what people think.

Plus, the people that matter will know what you're truly like and the ones who go off of hearsay aren't worth bothering with. x

I know, it's a pain in the arse though, especially as his situation was meant to be NSA!

The OP? We only have one half, with no substantial detail, of this tale.

I agree there, all questions have been ignored when we ask for the reasons!"

And he doesn't have to tell us anything. But if we had been in a relationship with him we might feel he should at least tell us why.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i dont think the reasons matter...he's breaking it off regardless...just try and be nice about it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Stab in the dark here..... Possibly found a new fb he would prefer to meet but not got the guts to come clean .... Otherwise why would she be asking as quoted by op 101 Questions ?

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By *hortieWoman
over a year ago

Northampton


"Just quote american psycho...

Just copy and paste this - job done!

"I'm fucking serious. It's fucking over, us, this is no joke. I don't think we should see each other any more.

You're just not terribly important to me!""

seriously tho.. better to be slapped with a truth than kissed with a lie

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By *issy NickersWoman
over a year ago

Manchester

Was she a swinger or a vanilla fb?

I find most swingers stay in touch because of the nature of the game even if we annoy each other. However, real vanilla world is more sensitive & age also can determine how ladies/ gents deal with it. Hope you sort it out soon x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I agree with a fair few points on this thread.

I'm an adult, I would much prefer to have someone give me a reason it's not working than a stupid throwaway comment.

I'm also an adult and I also accept that people don't have to give a reason for ending it.

I also am too nice and have felt the need to end stuff and have the painful conversations. Because, I think if you have done stuff together regularly it is probably courtesy to say the reasons it's finishing so people know and can deal with it.

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

I am not sure why you need to give a reason at all..it isn't like you are married or in a relationship.

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By *ire meet GasolineCouple
over a year ago

Reading


"I am not sure why you need to give a reason at all..it isn't like you are married or in a relationship."

That's a bit cold... Even if they are just fuck buddies, the "buddies" bit implies some sort of friendship, which involves emotion...

To the OP - I would echo the others advice... Be kind in the first place, but if she pesters, block, giving an explanation first - in the long run it will be better for her, so that she can forget about you and move on x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Stab in the dark here..... Possibly found a new fb he would prefer to meet but not got the guts to come clean .... Otherwise why would she be asking as quoted by op 101 Questions ?"

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By *eliciouslyNastyMan
over a year ago

London


"I am not sure why you need to give a reason at all..it isn't like you are married or in a relationship.

That's a bit cold... Even if they are just fuck buddies, the "buddies" bit implies some sort of friendship, which involves emotion...

To the OP - I would echo the others advice... Be kind in the first place, but if she pesters, block, giving an explanation first - in the long run it will be better for her, so that she can forget about you and move on x"

That's the problem with the whole FB thing... In fact almost anyone you sleep with...

A couple of times in and they think they own you...

Distance is your friend.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'll do you a favour, I'll take her off your hands!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I am not sure why you need to give a reason at all..it isn't like you are married or in a relationship."

Finally sense

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Was she a swinger or a vanilla fb?

I find most swingers stay in touch because of the nature of the game even if we annoy each other. However, real vanilla world is more sensitive & age also can determine how ladies/ gents deal with it. Hope you sort it out soon x"

Only one of my regular partners is from here,the rest are/were from the world you call vanilla. Far from vanilla as the word is used by swingers but that isn't relevant. I lost a few buddies purely because they stopped asking to meet. I didn't ask why,it's none of my business why. I have stayed in touch with some and some want to meet again but not don't have the inclination. No one has explained anything to anyone. Including me,I've never had to say I got bored or found someone more interesting or don't have the time now. It just ends

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'll do you a favour, I'll take her off your hands! "

You'll have to get out of my wardrobe first. And stop trying my skirts on!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Its nsa sex no emotions no dramas seems op you have the drama.

Dont lie just be honest she will respect u for it

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By *inaTitzTV/TS
over a year ago

Titz Towers, North Notts

I don't think there is ever a really painless way of ending a relationship with someone who doesn't want it to end.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"So here's the situation....

Recently I've decided to end it with a female sex buddy but it hasn't been as easy as I thought.

To be honest it was never regular but more occasional, when we both had time and were free.

However, she isn't taking it that well and is asking me 101 questions (i.e. Why? Is there someone else? etc etc).

Should I just ignore her and hope this goes away? "

I had a guy end it with me. The truth hurts but it was totally my fault and it took me a while to accept it and get over him. For some of us, emotions do come into play, we can't help it. You sound like a decent guy but like others have said perhaps tell her again why. I would rather be told the truth even if it does hurt

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'll do you a favour, I'll take her off your hands!

You'll have to get out of my wardrobe first. And stop trying my skirts on! "

I'll leave soon, but I will have to take some skirts with me! If you don't mind that is??

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Unless someone has deliberately or inadvertently misled a buddy into thinking it's more than sex it should never be seen as anything more. You can be friends or friendly with someone you just have sex with,without becoming emotionally attached. If you can't you're treading on thin ice every time you get into a buddy relationship

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'll do you a favour, I'll take her off your hands!

You'll have to get out of my wardrobe first. And stop trying my skirts on!

I'll leave soon, but I will have to take some skirts with me! If you don't mind that is??"

What did you do on my skirts!!!?? You were warned about that the last time I had to clean up after you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Was she a swinger or a vanilla fb?

I find most swingers stay in touch because of the nature of the game even if we annoy each other. However, real vanilla world is more sensitive & age also can determine how ladies/ gents deal with it. Hope you sort it out soon x"

This is a good point. I just broke it off with vanilla fb. It's hard as he wants to still see me so I've agreed well stay friends. it's a sensitive area, but each time he brings up 'us' I just reiterate the reason....

Good luck OP x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'll do you a favour, I'll take her off your hands!

You'll have to get out of my wardrobe first. And stop trying my skirts on!

I'll leave soon, but I will have to take some skirts with me! If you don't mind that is??

What did you do on my skirts!!!?? You were warned about that the last time I had to clean up after you "

It wasn't me...it's a snail trail....honestly!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The truth may hurt. But, it's still the truth.

Is not the easiest thing to hear. But, sooner or later they'd be alright.

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By *-elleWoman
over a year ago

Romford


"Despite what we all say about NSA and the rest. Sometimes emotions get involved, especially when, what started out as a bit of fun turns into a relationship of sorts.

At the end of the day you have a simple choice. Either ignore and possibly block her, or answer her questions.

Which of these you decide to do is up to you and probably depends on how much, if anything, she does or did mean to you."
agree with you sentiment and add that sometimes you need to be cruel to be kind, firm and polite, it will help her move on, and at least you will know you have done the right thing, whether she hears what's she wants too is and will ultimately be her call. Her emotions are her own you have no control of that only how you present your own. X

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By *radleyandRavenCouple
over a year ago

Herts


"I am not sure why you need to give a reason at all..it isn't like you are married or in a relationship."

I don't get it either. NSA is supposed to be just that and, to me, a fuck buddy is NSA.

I don't care that it sometimes can't be helped and I may sound like a cold-hearted Bitch, but if she got attached, that's her problem.

Unless the OP lead her on or blurred the lines, as far as I'm concerned, he owes her nothing. They were NOT in a relationship!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I am not sure why you need to give a reason at all..it isn't like you are married or in a relationship.

That's a bit cold... Even if they are just fuck buddies, the "buddies" bit implies some sort of friendship, which involves emotion...

To the OP - I would echo the others advice... Be kind in the first place, but if she pesters, block, giving an explanation first - in the long run it will be better for her, so that she can forget about you and move on x"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

im with most of the comments here - as much as we say nsa after meeting a few times if its more than a sex only meet then we do form attachments - its human nature -

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By *isscheekychopsWoman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

I think if you have been honest and upfront from the start you are doing nothing wrong by ignoring her. If you have given your reason why then that's fine. What I do hate is people promising you the world and then giving fuck all in return. I've learnt that lesson the hard way on a few occasions and found it more hard to deal with than someone being upfront and honest.

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By *isscheekychopsWoman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

Also avoid the urge to contact her when you are feeling horny and there is no one else around it will only fuck with her head more. Just completely cut all ties

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"When people get upset and then bad mouth you everywhere!

Oh, we've had that before.

It helps not to care what people think.

Plus, the people that matter will know what you're truly like and the ones who go off of hearsay aren't worth bothering with. x"

Yep..

Those who mind, don't matter

And those who matter don't mind..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'd much rather know the reason, even if I didn't like it. That way I could move on.

If you've told her the truth, and she doesn't like it, all you can do is explain why once again and leave it at that. If she pesters you, then ignore her"

I agree

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo


"I am not sure why you need to give a reason at all..it isn't like you are married or in a relationship.

That's a bit cold... Even if they are just fuck buddies, the "buddies" bit implies some sort of friendship, which involves emotion...

"

I will own that

No one owes us an explanation if they wanted to stop meeting, just as we don't owe them one. It is just a bunch of adults saying " we have had our fun, now it is time to stop"

There is no "emotion" in our meets even the ones we have met more than once, we are just adults looking for the same thing, sex.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 06/03/15 14:56:10]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

At the end of the day she's a fuck buddy not a life long partner, when I stopped seeing a guy I used to meet I simply said we've had our fun but I now felt it was time to move on

We all know that fuck buddy relationships can end at any time that's the whole point of no strings sex, sex without the hassle, moving on without complications

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"So here's the situation....

Recently I've decided to end it with a female sex buddy but it hasn't been as easy as I thought.

To be honest it was never regular but more occasional, when we both had time and were free.

However, she isn't taking it that well and is asking me 101 questions (i.e. Why? Is there someone else? etc etc).

Should I just ignore her and hope this goes away? "

You're 24 fella.

This is simply going to be 'a learning curve'. At 24 not much worried me, I'm surprised that you even bothered making this post.

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By *ancs MinxWoman
over a year ago

Burnley


"I don't think there is ever a really painless way of ending a relationship with someone who doesn't want it to end. "

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn


"

Should I just ignore her "

Yes.........

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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland

Just wondering what would be wrong in simply saying that you are no longer attracted to the thought of swinging with her?

I dont believe you owe any explanation in the scene and that or a similar kind of statement should really put an end to it.

If you start engaging in the reasons why... you may end up with hassle and that surely is not the idea of the swinging scene?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Just tell her why then leave it at that. "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"So here's the situation....

Recently I've decided to end it with a female sex buddy but it hasn't been as easy as I thought.

To be honest it was never regular but more occasional, when we both had time and were free.

However, she isn't taking it that well and is asking me 101 questions (i.e. Why? Is there someone else? etc etc).

Should I just ignore her and hope this goes away? "

I'd keep a close eye on your bunnies

Get her blocked, only solutions !!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think it is unfair (and kind of a cuntish move ) to drop her and not tell her why - imagine if she did that to you. I think you should explain why and answer her questions. Even if you were just fuck buddies you owe her that.

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By *issmorganWoman
over a year ago

Calderdale innit


"Its nsa sex no emotions no dramas seems op you have the drama.

Dont lie just be honest she will respect u for it"

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By *ultry SuccubusTV/TS
over a year ago

London


"

Should I just ignore her

Yes.........

"

Very concise.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Treat others as you would like yourself to be treated.

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By *radleyandRavenCouple
over a year ago

Herts

Surely the answer is either going to be "I've met someone so want to call this off", "This arrangement isn't working for me" or "You're not really doing it for me anymore".

If it was a genuine fuck buddy relationship you didn't sign up for all this drama.

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By *ENDAROOSCouple
over a year ago

South West London / Surrey


"Treat others as you would like yourself to be treated."

This

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By *radleyandRavenCouple
over a year ago

Herts


"Treat others as you would like yourself to be treated."

In that sense it depends on the individual. - I wouldn't hound a fuck buddy for an explanation after it was called off (as it IS a NSA arrangement!) so therefore wouldn't put up with the same in return, especially if, and I know we only have the O.P's side of the story, she is indeed disregarding, not accepting or claiming said answer isn't good enough.

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