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Swinging & Menopause

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Hi there, I was diagnosed with Cervical, womb and ovarian cancer in 2010 and had to have a full hysterectomy which as us ladies will know has sent me raring into menopause.

I am still on fab as I know people from the old days and am looking for new friends too.

I get lots of messages and when people ask why I am not meeting, I try and explain that due to menopause and the surgery that I have, my sex drive is not exactly raging right now.

Do you think that it is fair that they then send me messages telling me that I am a fat ugly slag, no one would ever want to be with me and things like with a body like yours you would be better of dead than on a place like this?.

I am just happy to be alive as my cancer was spreading so quickly, I might now have been so lucky.

Sorry if this seems a rant but have been here on and off for a number of years and it just seems like things have changed so much and I have never had to use my block button so much.

Chrissy xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If your not meeting change your filters maybe. Your health is more important and great news you are well xxx

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"If your not meeting change your filters maybe. Your health is more important and great news you are well xxx"

Thank you. I have changed my filters now and even some of the nicer ones who chat initially even though my profile states I do not meet get nasty. I am a swinger, not a fuck toy. People just do not seem to realize the difference these days. xx

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

[Removed by poster at 02/03/15 15:14:08]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

ive had abuse for politely rejecting men....seems to come in waves... not had any problems for weeks then this last weekend i had quite a few..very odd! im very glad for you your health is better.but i wouldnt take it too personaly..assholes are assholes, and it will have nothing to do with you, more to do with some inadquates inability to take yet another brush off...

your health and well being are way more important than some pathetic twats bruised ego!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It seems to be the whole male privilege norm. You have every right to be on here and not meet - but some men don't accept that women have their own agency and can express their sexuality in other ways/forms. (I'm a sex-positive feminist... can you guess how much "you ugly fat slag" nonsense I get from chaps on here!?)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

The thing is, many women just delete messages but I always make the effort to say thanks but no thanks. As you say, there will be many arseholes here.

Thank you everyone for your kind words. xx

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"It seems to be the whole male privilege norm. You have every right to be on here and not meet - but some men don't accept that women have their own agency and can express their sexuality in other ways/forms. (I'm a sex-positive feminist... can you guess how much "you ugly fat slag" nonsense I get from chaps on here!?)"

What has happened to the old style swinging where you could meet someone, have a chat and make a life long friend?.

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By *illwill69uMan
over a year ago

moston


"Hi there, I was diagnosed with Cervical, womb and ovarian cancer in 2010 and had to have a full hysterectomy which as us ladies will know has sent me raring into menopause.

I am still on fab as I know people from the old days and am looking for new friends too.

I get lots of messages and when people ask why I am not meeting, I try and explain that due to menopause and the surgery that I have, my sex drive is not exactly raging right now.

Do you think that it is fair that they then send me messages telling me that I am a fat ugly slag, no one would ever want to be with me and things like with a body like yours you would be better of dead than on a place like this?.

I am just happy to be alive as my cancer was spreading so quickly, I might now have been so lucky.

Sorry if this seems a rant but have been here on and off for a number of years and it just seems like things have changed so much and I have never had to use my block button so much.

Chrissy xx"

Hi Chrissy,

Glad to hear your out of the cancer woods, and sorry to hear you have lost your sexual mojo. I am sure you will find it again soon when the right person or people come along.

As for the self-centred idiots that send you insulting mails when you say your not meeting, don't just block them, report them! Remember if they are like that with you they are like that with others and have no business being here!

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Hi there, I was diagnosed with Cervical, womb and ovarian cancer in 2010 and had to have a full hysterectomy which as us ladies will know has sent me raring into menopause.

I am still on fab as I know people from the old days and am looking for new friends too.

I get lots of messages and when people ask why I am not meeting, I try and explain that due to menopause and the surgery that I have, my sex drive is not exactly raging right now.

Do you think that it is fair that they then send me messages telling me that I am a fat ugly slag, no one would ever want to be with me and things like with a body like yours you would be better of dead than on a place like this?.

I am just happy to be alive as my cancer was spreading so quickly, I might now have been so lucky.

Sorry if this seems a rant but have been here on and off for a number of years and it just seems like things have changed so much and I have never had to use my block button so much.

Chrissy xx

Hi Chrissy,

Glad to hear your out of the cancer woods, and sorry to hear you have lost your sexual mojo. I am sure you will find it again soon when the right person or people come along.

As for the self-centred idiots that send you insulting mails when you say your not meeting, don't just block them, report them! Remember if they are like that with you they are like that with others and have no business being here!"

Thank you so much. I have tried not to report people as I have just tried to get on with things but I might do that in future. xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

have been on here for 5 years, never had a message calling me fat and ugly yet, but have been called ugly and other things on these forums.

you can report someone for sending rude messages though.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"have been on here for 5 years, never had a message calling me fat and ugly yet, but have been called ugly and other things on these forums.

you can report someone for sending rude messages though."

I have had it all, fat ugly slag, blah blah. Although I am aware of what most people are here for, we are not all the same. xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

What has happened to the old style swinging where you could meet someone, have a chat and make a life long friend?.

"

No idea - but it's what I always hold out for: I deserve no less - and the same goes for you!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

most men are ok when I say thanks but youre not realy my type but not all, if I think they look like someone who may be nasty then I send message then block straight away, as you sometimes get a feeling about someone by the ones who have been rude to you or pushy in the past, not everyones nice on here.

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By *uckandbunnyCouple
over a year ago

Gran Canaria

This is so easy to answer.

No. It's completely unacceptable that they should abuse you.

Filter or no filter. No means no.

I worry about those that hurl abuse when rejected. What do they do in real life.

I shudder to think.

Until men get that no means no abuse of women will continue.

Do they think abuse will improve their prospects of a met in the future?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

given that im having full blown constant hot flushes ,accompanied by waves of some weird menopausal rage, im concerned that one too many insults may lead to a nasty incident! i believe you can cry hormones when defending murder charges now though...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"This is so easy to answer.

No. It's completely unacceptable that they should abuse you.

Filter or no filter. No means no.

I worry about those that hurl abuse when rejected. What do they do in real life.

I shudder to think.

Until men get that no means no abuse of women will continue.

Do they think abuse will improve their prospects of a met in the future?"

getting messages like that is one thing but meeting someone like that would be much worst and just shows you were right to turn them down in the first place.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's not right that people send those kinds of messages but it seems they do. I can't meet at the moment so my profile is hidden. I can peruse the site,at my leisure,and contribute to the forums with my wisdom and wit without the fear of a full inbox.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The thing is, many women just delete messages but I always make the effort to say thanks but no thanks. As you say, there will be many arseholes here."

I delete messages without replying and don't get this abuse (think 3 messages out of hundreds from all the time i've been on here so it's very miniscule amount anyway).

I do have it on my profile that i don't reply to messages really but thanks for your nice messages anyway, coz i do mostly get nice messages. I just can't be bothered to reply but i'm upfront about it. Don't see anything wrong with doing this either.

I don't have filters on so that anyone can message me, but i ask people not to and that works alright for me and i don't feel guilty about being ignorant and always apologise to my mates if i ignore them by accident coz my inbox filled quick and i missed a message.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Glad you are on the mend after such a traumatic time. Being well again is the MOST important thing. Hope you get thru menopause & get your mojo back. And find some nice human beings along the way. Unfortunately we all find arsehole in every walk if life!

Any other swinging ladies gone thru menopause who can offer advice?

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By *eforfuncplCouple
over a year ago

Morecambe


"Hi there, I was diagnosed with Cervical, womb and ovarian cancer in 2010 and had to have a full hysterectomy which as us ladies will know has sent me raring into menopause.

I am still on fab as I know people from the old days and am looking for new friends too.

I get lots of messages and when people ask why I am not meeting, I try and explain that due to menopause and the surgery that I have, my sex drive is not exactly raging right now.

Do you think that it is fair that they then send me messages telling me that I am a fat ugly slag, no one would ever want to be with me and things like with a body like yours you would be better of dead than on a place like this?.

I am just happy to be alive as my cancer was spreading so quickly, I might now have been so lucky.

Sorry if this seems a rant but have been here on and off for a number of years and it just seems like things have changed so much and I have never had to use my block button so much.

Chrissy xx"

Jesus sum people are just complete Dicks x

Good to hear you well and showing great strength to actually discuss what was wrong openly x

Wishing you every luck xx

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Thank you everyone, I just wondered really if anyone else had gone through the same sort of thing. The Mojo is in there somewhere and I am sure it will rear it's head again soon and when it does, watch out lol

Your messages have been a great help, so thank you all xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

no its not fair - but sod them - you are here and healthy and you meet when youre ready - anybody that wont take no for an answer and gets arsy you wouldnt want to meet anyway

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Thank you everyone, I just wondered really if anyone else had gone through the same sort of thing. The Mojo is in there somewhere and I am sure it will rear it's head again soon and when it does, watch out lol

Your messages have been a great help, so thank you all xx"
op your profile say your back and time for fun ...... I Don't think people should be rude and nasty here if your not fit and meeting its up to you... maybe tell them that in your profile it may just help .

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