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one nighters or long term

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I am not sure if this has been done before - probably has - so apologies if it has.

What are the benefits of long term swinging friends... in comparison to one nighters?

What experience do people have with either or both?

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

Personally i prefer long term. However, it doesnt matter how well you get on with someone or how long you have known them you can never guarantee how the evening will turn out. I dont set out to have one night stands.

Why do i prefer regular guys, well some of the things i enjoy doing i have to have trust with a guy and this doesnt come with just one meeting, also i dont just "do" certain things with just anyone. If im in a club im really pretty vanilla.

Luckily for me i do have quite a few guys that ive been seeing for ages i think at the moment ive got about four that ive known four years plus.

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

one nighters are good for scratching an itch so to speak but more regular meets often leads to trying new things with someone you trust etc

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By *histler21Man
over a year ago

Ipswich

Given a choice, I'd much prefer 'regular' rather than long-term. Up for one-nighters in the meantime though

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

regular is alot better i find but with being single if you are meeting a single person regular and you dont want it to go anyfurther you need to make sure things dont go to far

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think regular and long term are alot better as you can experiment and help each other out in finding out what you like.

One niters are ok but like eveshamgal said scratches an itch

sometimes you need more but there are boundaries!!!!

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Personally i prefer long term. However, it doesnt matter how well you get on with someone or how long you have known them you can never guarantee how the evening will turn out. I dont set out to have one night stands.

Why do i prefer regular guys, well some of the things i enjoy doing i have to have trust with a guy and this doesnt come with just one meeting, also i dont just "do" certain things with just anyone. If im in a club im really pretty vanilla.

Luckily for me i do have quite a few guys that ive been seeing for ages i think at the moment ive got about four that ive known four years plus."

Sound like the long term works out better for you?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"one nighters are good for scratching an itch so to speak but more regular meets often leads to trying new things with someone you trust etc"

Good point about allowing trust to develop!

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Given a choice, I'd much prefer 'regular' rather than long-term. Up for one-nighters in the meantime though"

so, for you both have their value in the scene by the sound of it..?

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire


"Personally i prefer long term. However, it doesnt matter how well you get on with someone or how long you have known them you can never guarantee how the evening will turn out. I dont set out to have one night stands.

Why do i prefer regular guys, well some of the things i enjoy doing i have to have trust with a guy and this doesnt come with just one meeting, also i dont just "do" certain things with just anyone. If im in a club im really pretty vanilla.

Luckily for me i do have quite a few guys that ive been seeing for ages i think at the moment ive got about four that ive known four years plus.

Sound like the long term works out better for you? "

It does, thats one of the reasons ive now stopped going to chams altogether apart from socials as i seem to much prefer to entertain at home with guys i already know

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"regular is alot better i find but with being single if you are meeting a single person regular and you dont want it to go anyfurther you need to make sure things dont go to far"

Interesting about not letting things go too far - you mean in terms of attachments forming when meeting more than few times?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I think regular and long term are alot better as you can experiment and help each other out in finding out what you like.

One niters are ok but like eveshamgal said scratches an itch

sometimes you need more but there are boundaries!!!!

"

boundaries.. completely agree - important between people, arent they - so everybody knows what to expect

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By *andKCouple
over a year ago

Norfolk

our preferance is for long term friends, we still meet regularly with the first couple we ever swapped with but there have been some interesting one night encounters, have to say mainly at clubs though.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The better you get to know someone the better the experences, I find, so regular long term I prefer

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"our preferance is for long term friends, we still meet regularly with the first couple we ever swapped with but there have been some interesting one night encounters, have to say mainly at clubs though."

Totally agree with the friends thing.

You have to be friends to be able to carry on with what you are doing.

The odd one nite stand keeps the excitement going but you can rely on your friends to give yo what you want??

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Prefer long term, however, one-nighters have their uses!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Prefer long term, however, one-nighters have their uses! "

To scratch an itch ??????

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"our preferance is for long term friends, we still meet regularly with the first couple we ever swapped with but there have been some interesting one night encounters, have to say mainly at clubs though."

I have been known to say to people on first meets.. if you cannot chat to the people, cannot laugh with them, dont actually like them... what is the point of being intimate with them..So the longer you know somebody, I guess the more chance of genuine friendship?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"our preferance is for long term friends, we still meet regularly with the first couple we ever swapped with but there have been some interesting one night encounters, have to say mainly at clubs though.

I have been known to say to people on first meets.. if you cannot chat to the people, cannot laugh with them, dont actually like them... what is the point of being intimate with them..So the longer you know somebody, I guess the more chance of genuine friendship? "

That is so true the better you get to know someone the more chance that when you meet the better it is going to be.

Saying that have played with someone on the first meet and am still good friends with them!!!!

Depends on the people i guess

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"our preferance is for long term friends, we still meet regularly with the first couple we ever swapped with but there have been some interesting one night encounters, have to say mainly at clubs though.

I have been known to say to people on first meets.. if you cannot chat to the people, cannot laugh with them, dont actually like them... what is the point of being intimate with them..So the longer you know somebody, I guess the more chance of genuine friendship?

That is so true the better you get to know someone the more chance that when you meet the better it is going to be.

Saying that have played with someone on the first meet and am still good friends with them!!!!

Depends on the people i guess "

Yes you are right - it depends, doesnt it... so really you cant generalise?

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By *andKCouple
over a year ago

Norfolk


"our preferance is for long term friends, we still meet regularly with the first couple we ever swapped with but there have been some interesting one night encounters, have to say mainly at clubs though.

I have been known to say to people on first meets.. if you cannot chat to the people, cannot laugh with them, dont actually like them... what is the point of being intimate with them..So the longer you know somebody, I guess the more chance of genuine friendship? "

absolutely

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I prefer long term playmates.

You need trust the way I play, and that has to develop. I'm also friends with my playmates and that makes the experience more enjoyable. I have a group of men I play with, because I don't play weekly it stays fresh.

My playmates are all local and can accommodate should my girls be at home when I have an itch so no need for a one nighter!

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"our preferance is for long term friends, we still meet regularly with the first couple we ever swapped with but there have been some interesting one night encounters, have to say mainly at clubs though.

I have been known to say to people on first meets.. if you cannot chat to the people, cannot laugh with them, dont actually like them... what is the point of being intimate with them..So the longer you know somebody, I guess the more chance of genuine friendship?

absolutely "

I, we, like that, too - but it does take time to find the right match at several, not just sexual level, doesn't it?

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By *histler21Man
over a year ago

Ipswich


"Given a choice, I'd much prefer 'regular' rather than long-term. Up for one-nighters in the meantime though

so, for you both have their value in the scene by the sound of it..?"

Yep. Everyone has to start somewhere. You can't just jump straight into 'regular'. You have to try a few one-nighters before you click with someone enough to want to make it a regular thing.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Given a choice, I'd much prefer 'regular' rather than long-term. Up for one-nighters in the meantime though

so, for you both have their value in the scene by the sound of it..?

Yep. Everyone has to start somewhere. You can't just jump straight into 'regular'. You have to try a few one-nighters before you click with someone enough to want to make it a regular thing."

Just looked at your profile and ... well I d love to nibble the donut to try the system that works for you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"our preferance is for long term friends, we still meet regularly with the first couple we ever swapped with but there have been some interesting one night encounters, have to say mainly at clubs though.

I have been known to say to people on first meets.. if you cannot chat to the people, cannot laugh with them, dont actually like them... what is the point of being intimate with them..So the longer you know somebody, I guess the more chance of genuine friendship?

absolutely

I, we, like that, too - but it does take time to find the right match at several, not just sexual level, doesn't it?"

Yes it does as you have to click as friends first before you even think bout doing anything else !!!!

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"our preferance is for long term friends, we still meet regularly with the first couple we ever swapped with but there have been some interesting one night encounters, have to say mainly at clubs though.

I have been known to say to people on first meets.. if you cannot chat to the people, cannot laugh with them, dont actually like them... what is the point of being intimate with them..So the longer you know somebody, I guess the more chance of genuine friendship?

absolutely

I, we, like that, too - but it does take time to find the right match at several, not just sexual level, doesn't it?

Yes it does as you have to click as friends first before you even think bout doing anything else !!!!"

That is so true... need to laugh, giggle, banter and get one with each other eh?

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By *ushroom7Man
over a year ago

Bradford

what's with all this one nighter talk?

i can't even get a one hour meet never mind all night.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

what's with all this one nighter talk?

i can't even get a one hour meet never mind all night."

Nor could i till i got on here only time will tell and do not be pushy desperate or rude !!!!

It will happen in the end for you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

what's with all this one nighter talk?

i can't even get a one hour meet never mind all night."

do you need an hour?!

you should put that on your profile if you're struggling!

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Egg timers anyone?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

what's with all this one nighter talk?

i can't even get a one hour meet never mind all night.

do you need an hour?!

you should put that on your profile if you're struggling!"

Some people make do with an hour their prference but longer means more fun so for me an hour is just getting started!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Egg timers anyone? "

the three or five minute one?

personally, i prefer mine hard...so i'm a five minute girl

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Egg timers anyone?

the three or five minute one?

personally, i prefer mine hard...so i'm a five minute girl"

I ll have two egg timers, please

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Egg timers anyone?

the three or five minute one?

personally, i prefer mine hard...so i'm a five minute girl

I ll have two egg timers, please "

that's just greedy

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Egg timers anyone?

the three or five minute one?

personally, i prefer mine hard...so i'm a five minute girl

I ll have two egg timers, please

that's just greedy"

effective though if one fails?

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By *harpDressed ManMan
over a year ago

Here occasionally, but mostly somewhere else

I think my ideal would be a handful of ongoing semi-regulars alongside a stream (for want of a better word) of one-offs.

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By *ushroom7Man
over a year ago

Bradford


"

do not be pushy, desperate or rude !!!!

"

pushy, desperate and/or rude?

that's me fucked then.

oh, the irony

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By *ushroom7Man
over a year ago

Bradford


"Egg timers anyone? "

make mine an Ostrich? ta

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I think my ideal would be a handful of ongoing semi-regulars alongside a stream (for want of a better word) of one-offs.

"

can we have an engineering drawing please? to scale!!!

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Egg timers anyone?

make mine an Ostrich? ta

"

Pervert!

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By *ushroom7Man
over a year ago

Bradford

Cue Mike Harding :

dip yer bread, dip yer bread.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Much prefer longterm myself and been seeing my "fella" for three years.

We are comfy with each other and know what each other likes yet its still like the first time each time we meet.

As for attachments, there are bound to be some or we wouldnt be human, its where to draw the line,.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"regular is alot better i find but with being single if you are meeting a single person regular and you dont want it to go anyfurther you need to make sure things dont go to far

Interesting about not letting things go too far - you mean in terms of attachments forming when meeting more than few times? "

yes that is what i mean. maybe in some cases it could be right if things feel right

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"regular is alot better i find but with being single if you are meeting a single person regular and you dont want it to go anyfurther you need to make sure things dont go to far

Interesting about not letting things go too far - you mean in terms of attachments forming when meeting more than few times?

yes that is what i mean. maybe in some cases it could be right if things feel right"

right.

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By *istress-MazikeenWoman
over a year ago

bolton


"Yep. Everyone has to start somewhere. You can't just jump straight into 'regular'. You have to try a few one-nighters before you click with someone enough to want to make it a regular thing"

That is so true, as it also depends on distance from and commitments when having regular meets, I have one guy I have started meeting on a regular basis, but did not think it would be like that at first, and yes does get better with every meet.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 17/09/10 07:13:12]

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By *etillanteWoman
over a year ago

.

Both have their advantages

With someone you see regular there is the trust to try new things and the intimacy of knowing how that persons body works.

But sometimes for that itch a one off can be soooooooo good

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By *unky monkeyMan
over a year ago

in the night garden

They all start with one night.

But if there's something there then they lead to regular nights.

I find one nighters more often than not are more generic sexually, regulars get more interesting/fun as trust is built.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"They all start with one night.

But if there's something there then they lead to regular nights.

I find one nighters more often than not are more generic sexually, regulars get more interesting/fun as trust is built."

That is also so very true

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I am not sure if this has been done before - probably has - so apologies if it has.

What are the benefits of long term swinging friends... in comparison to one nighters?

What experience do people have with either or both? "

Long term, you can not stimulate the brain properly for one offs.

Plus Thai brides "love you long time" which when said with an accent can sound like long term.

Christ I been up far to long, with a spoon and a bag of sugar

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I am not sure if this has been done before - probably has - so apologies if it has.

What are the benefits of long term swinging friends... in comparison to one nighters?

What experience do people have with either or both?

Long term, you can not stimulate the brain properly for one offs.

Plus Thai brides "love you long time" which when said with an accent can sound like long term.

Christ I been up far to long, with a spoon and a bag of sugar

"

I love a red Thai

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I prefer one nighters to long term. I like the excitement and the adventure of meeting a new person - I dont need a regular swinging guy cos im not looking to form any kind of relationship with anyone else

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A meet would be nice xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Id rather have one offs to be honest

But that does not mean i will jump into bed with anyone just because im never going to see them again lol

I still like to meet for a drink, i still want to like the person, i still want good conversation and all the rest of it, i would just sooner not meet people regular

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"regular is alot better i find but with being single if you are meeting a single person regular and you dont want it to go anyfurther you need to make sure things dont go to far

Interesting about not letting things go too far - you mean in terms of attachments forming when meeting more than few times?

yes that is what i mean. maybe in some cases it could be right if things feel right"

yep thats why id sooner do one offs, ive had it a couple of times where guys have wanted more from me that i was willing to give them, if you meet someone regular theres a higher chance of that happening

Also i have found guys put less effort into sex once you become a regular thing

Everyone wants sparks to fly on their first meet we all want the other person to walk away thinking...that was great, but after several meets you can loose that, i also feel that once you become a regular thing your just a handy reserve incase noone better comes along (i know cynical arnt i? lol) met one guy who stopped performing oral after a few meets, sex really felt like we was a old couple who had lost interest and just going thro the motions

I just find one offs more exciting

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

one night..

once my toupee comes off, my teeth are popped in the glass by the bed..

and I give them 5 mins, oops 5 strokes of mediocre sex.

they never come back

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Long term is for me and Siren. Anything else is a one-nighter. Saying that though, we do have a regular f/b that we invite over from time to time and it's relaxing to know we've already got all the pleasantries out the way and can get down to some horny fucking pretty much as soon as he arrives.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've no objection to a one nighter swinger if it was right at the time and worth it, unfortunately it most often isnt on the other hand some that ive only met once, would like to meet up again but with jobs and accommodating being difficult, it has only happened twice with one gentleman.

As to long term, ive been lucky enough to find someone that is compatible; we have great sex, such a funny man, is touchy feely like me, loves a cuddle and a good conversation after rampant sex, the downside is that neither of us can accommodate. We did christen his new vehicle, a Mazda Bongo, lovely!

So yes, i think long term regular is probably better but one nighters can add a bit of spice

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By *i 1 Get 1 FreeCouple (MM)
over a year ago

birmingham

We've no preference, take it as it comes, it actually takes a fair bit of working on for 4 people to click sexually, so, if a sexual relationship develops from a meet all well and good, if not, we've lost nothing

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By *ruitWoman
over a year ago

near kings lynn

I would love a more regular meet with one person but over the past 4 years or so I have only met a small handful of people that I would consider meeting again but as said before its trying to arrange diaries.

I am still trying to meet a couple that I met ages ago as our free weekends are never the same.

So most of mine do seem to be one time meets. But given the choice I would prefer a few regular friends.

Can count on one hand I recon how many people I would and do meet again and again

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"i also feel that once you become a regular thing your just a handy reserve incase noone better comes along (i know cynical arnt i? lol) met one guy who stopped performing oral after a few meets, sex really felt like we was a old couple who had lost interest and just going thro the motions

I just find one offs more exciting "

I can completely understand your stance there; the nature of swinging can (does not have to but can) lend itself to more superficial relationships and of course that is a relationship largely defined through sexual intimacy.

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