FabSwingers.com forum: Ambivalence towards degree

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

As much as this is a discussion it's also going to be a get it off my chest rant so you know at times it'll probably come across as spoilt brat.

I have a degree, however it comes from a time in my life I'd frankly love to block out. My personal life/career plans had just fallen through due to circumstances beyond my control (medical) which I'd never considered a problem until then. Also I was involved with a related activity where I really felt my personal identity was forming and I felt happy but had to stop that medically also.

Now I didn't like school and thought 6th form a waste of time totally as don't consider myself as academic (and hate wasted study on things that I have no interest in. I'm very broadly going to say if you think Fred Dibnah / Guy Martin that's close in terms of how I am). Practical but with some theory thrown in not masses of text and journals.

I'd also applied to Unis simply to keep my parents quiet but as far as I was concerned my path was elsewhere.

So when I got the bad news looking back I was in a state of shock and slight denial - part of me changed that week - and before I had time to really think things through and sort a plan my parents forced me to go to uni. At that point I'd lost my self esteem and didn't feel able to stand up for myself.

In Sept 1999 a very different person started uni and I felt lost. Lost enough to fall into a deep depression over 4 years where I can say now I was VERY lucky to survive some dark days.

Around me people having the utter time of their lives and me in secret deciding what way to go out.

Despite that I got a shitty 2:2.

Since then things have improved and I've got things going my way after a decade of trying to shrug the Black Dog off and now really feel like I'm back.

Unfortunately the 'degree' is giving me a problem as I apply for jobs. On one hand it's got all the pros of a qualification but for me it simply dredges up shit memories, reminds me of feelings that I'd hoped had been forgotten and more than anything was awarded to a different person mentally. Certainly not who I am - indeed destroyed the thing so I didn't have to look at it in a display case and never went to the graduation.

So what would be the outcome if I never put it down on applications? I'm not embellishing or lying just omitting it.

Constructive advice welcomed.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Depends on what you're applying for? I could be wrong but it sounds like you wouldn't be happy in the type of job that requires a degree anyway. x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When I got my Post Grad degree I was mentally drained and my confidence in the shitter after it!

I also got depressed on the course and hated it, looking back now it still upsets me at times.

I look at it as a battle that I overcome and I'm proud I overcome it, but it took time for my confidence to come back.

Don't be defined by your past, but use and learn by the experiences it gave you - be defined by your future.

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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk

Employers might well ask what you were doing during those years.

You'll probably get fewer questions about it if you list it than if you don't and at least the bad time may do you some good.

A lot of employers simply regard a degree as a sign of being able to work at a particular level. Unless the job needs a particular degree, they may not care beyond noting that you have one.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

How would you explain that 3 year period? If you're including your school qualifications and then your working life presumably starting after you finished the degree, could it just raise more questions/require more explanation and need you to think about it more than just bunging it down there and then trying to forget about it?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Unless they are specifically asking for qualifications you can include what you want on your CV.

In all honesty a decade on and a 2:2 and applying (I assume) in a sector where it;s not a requirement I suspect most employer are far more interested in your employent history and personal attributes

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Putting it down though and using the fact you got it, despite the fact you were struggling with depression at that time - you should be proud of what you achieved. Many would have given up, you persevered.

I guess it depends if the fact you have a degree us pivotal to the job you're applying for. Perhaps you have additional professional qualifications which negate that?

You could test the theory I suppose and see what happens!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Actually it doesn't require one but as has been stated i'd have to explain what I'd been up to.

After writing/reading my post it's still got the ability to piss me off, such a bad time. Time to loose myself in a good album or watch TG on iplayer

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Putting it down though and using the fact you got it, despite the fact you were struggling with depression at that time - you should be proud of what you achieved. Many would have given up, you persevered.

I guess it depends if the fact you have a degree us pivotal to the job you're applying for. Perhaps you have

additional professional qualifications which negate that?

You could test the theory I suppose and see what happens! "

Being at uni doing something i hated is what gave me depression in the first place. I Was too weak to walk away which is absolutely what i should have done. Nothing is worth your health.

But it's easy with hindsight.

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By *at69driveMan
over a year ago

Hertford

"As much as this is a discussion it's also going to be a get it off my chest rant so you know at times it'll probably come across as spoilt brat.

I'd also applied to Unis simply to keep my parents quiet but as far as I was concerned my path was elsewhere.

In Sept 1999 a very different person started uni and I felt lost. Lost enough to fall into a deep depression over 4 years where I can say now I was VERY lucky to survive some dark days.

Around me people having the utter time of their lives and me in secret deciding what way to go out.

Despite that I got a shitty 2:2.

Since then things have improved and I've got things going my way after a decade of trying to shrug the Black Dog off and now really feel like I'm back.

So what would be the outcome if I never put it down on applications? I'm not embellishing or lying just omitting it.

Constructive advice welcomed."
. I would put it down otherwise you have a three year gap to explain. What is much more important is to illustrate how you satisfy the various criteria required by the potential employer.

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By *ouple in LancashireCouple
over a year ago

in Lancashire

Respect that during that period in your life things were difficult, however you can't turn back time and whilst destroying certificates and not having it on your cv is one way of putting it behind you its always going to be a part of your life which family and friends will in the future at times resurrect..

perhaps rather than look at it in a lets forget it happened manner maybe address the issues which you have said and take the monkey of going to Uni off your back..

wont be easy in the short term but in the long term when you have kids, attend their school open night and the conversation turns to that time etc you will have a better or different coping mechanism..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Actually it doesn't require one but as has been stated i'd have to explain what I'd been up to.

After writing/reading my post it's still got the ability to piss me off, such a bad time. Time to loose myself in a good album or watch TG on iplayer"

I think just put it down on the application and try to move on from thinking about it in the context of this job search. The last time anyone asked me about my degree in an interview was my first graduate job, so it's unlikely to come up again.

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

It is now just a line on your CV. You don't need to talk about it. I have never conducted an interview where I have discussed a first degree as it's just a tick in the box on the shortlisting form.

The reality is that for a lot of jobs you will be up against a lot of people. Being able to tick as many boxes as possible at shortlisting stage means you get an interview.

You do need to address why it still makes you angry now. I suspect it's not the degree per se but the fact that you were forced to do it. Work through that anger and find the place where you can accept that you achieved something even though you were in the depths of a depression.

That something may now enable you to get the work life you do want.

Good luck.

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

Just include it where it's required or really going to help you. I'm post grad and still studying but my life is my own affair and I share about myself only what I choose to.

I encourage you to make peace with your past as having stuff hanging over us has a cost.

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