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By *rcticFoxxx OP   Woman
over a year ago

Hereabouts

I know this is probably the wrong place for this, but it's the only place I feel I can get support.

If there's anybody who has any experience with alcoholics, friends, family, patients, could you please give me some advice?

A family member has been suffering with alcoholism for years, and has recently begun seeking help. She is having major withdrawal symptoms today as she did not have a drink at all yesterday, but had 3 bottles of wine the night before.

She's shaking and crying and she's scared. I've tried to calm her down with breathing techniques and I've reduced her stress level by arranging for her daughter to be looked after. She is now off to buy two of the miniature bottles of wine from the shop (she has been told to cut down from one full bottle a night to 3/4 of a bottle per night. I have about another 125ml of wine in the house too so if she is still struggling it's available if I feel she needs it to get through the rest of the evening).

I'm concerned about her, and the amount she is panicking. So any advice from people who understand my situation, or tips for calming her down would be greatly appreciated. Also anybody with anxiety experience too, as I'm afraid this may turn into a full blown panic attack.

I've turned off my message filters if there is anybody who would prefer to inbox me.

I apologise for posting this here, but as I said I feel it's the only place I can get support.

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By *ruitWoman
over a year ago

near kings lynn

I hope you get lots of private messages to help but wanted to wish you both luck and strength. You are clearly a special person xx

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By *adybee77Woman
over a year ago

MAMOBA, miles and miles of bugger all (Aberdeenshire)

Has she spoken to her GP about it all?

It can be very dangerous to go from drinking every day to nothing at all. It should be a guided process.

Have you checked on alcoholics anonymous for their help guides online?

I really hope you find a way through it all.

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By *rcticFoxxx OP   Woman
over a year ago

Hereabouts


"I hope you get lots of private messages to help but wanted to wish you both luck and strength. You are clearly a special person xx"

Thank you that's very kind of you

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By (user no longer on site)
Forum Mod
over a year ago

She needs to see a gp,they can prescribe medicine that will help with withdrawal symptoms,there are also groups like AA and al anon who each have websites and possibly someone on the end of the phone to talk her through this today along with some helpful advice

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By *rcticFoxxx OP   Woman
over a year ago

Hereabouts


"Has she spoken to her GP about it all?

It can be very dangerous to go from drinking every day to nothing at all. It should be a guided process.

Have you checked on alcoholics anonymous for their help guides online?

I really hope you find a way through it all. "

Yes, she is getting help from a counciler specialising in addiction. I've suggested two small bottles as that equates to around half of what she usually drinks, plus I have a small amount as a top up if I feel it's needed (I can generally gauge how well she is).

I've looked online but it's all so wordy and it's just making my head hurt

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My dad was an alcoholic it killed him in the end

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The charity Mind is good. Will give good advice for supporting someone with addictions.

AA? I'm sure you would find more helpful and constructive advice throhgh one of those. I am currently in your position but wouldn't dream of advising you. As people and their experiences are different..... All I will say is get support for yourself. It's draining stuff and you need to keep well.

Good luck with it. Thinking of you and your friend

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By *rcticFoxxx OP   Woman
over a year ago

Hereabouts


"She needs to see a gp,they can prescribe medicine that will help with withdrawal symptoms,there are also groups like AA and al anon who each have websites and possibly someone on the end of the phone to talk her through this today along with some helpful advice "

She will be seeing the GP in the morning and I'm going to suggest she asks for help with withdrawal symptoms as well as depression. I'm planning to attend an Al Anon meeting this week. Unfortunately she's the kind of person who refuses to talk unless she feels she needs to, so I won't be able to get her to seek advice over the phone until tomorrow when she can speak to her counciler.

It's affecting other members of my family too. I have a higher breaking point than the rest of my family but it's getting hard, hence the Al anon meeting in the week.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

I think your concern is commendable.

You CANNOT help alone or at all she will drag you down.

Contact one of the very many services available for advice.

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By *rcticFoxxx OP   Woman
over a year ago

Hereabouts


"My dad was an alcoholic it killed him in the end "

I'm so sorry to hear that

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By *rcticFoxxx OP   Woman
over a year ago

Hereabouts


"The charity Mind is good. Will give good advice for supporting someone with addictions.

AA? I'm sure you would find more helpful and constructive advice throhgh one of those. I am currently in your position but wouldn't dream of advising you. As people and their experiences are different..... All I will say is get support for yourself. It's draining stuff and you need to keep well.

Good luck with it. Thinking of you and your friend "

Thank you. I'm just overwhelmed and struggling to think straight

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

I have supported and alcoholic friend in the past. She was a very intelligent and sane individual but going cold turkey can be a serious business medically, and she was always advised to do it as a in-patient in the appropriate medical facility. I wish you luck, it is a difficult thing to stand by.

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn


"I think your concern is commendable.

You CANNOT help alone or at all she will drag you down.

Contact one of the very many services available for advice.

"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"My dad was an alcoholic it killed him in the end

I'm so sorry to hear that "

Nah don't be

He was a horrible man, violent and abusive, I spend most of my childhood being ping ponged about the system from one care home and foster family to another

His death was no loss

He dug his own grave

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The charity Mind is good. Will give good advice for supporting someone with addictions.

AA? I'm sure you would find more helpful and constructive advice throhgh one of those. I am currently in your position but wouldn't dream of advising you. As people and their experiences are different..... All I will say is get support for yourself. It's draining stuff and you need to keep well.

Good luck with it. Thinking of you and your friend

Thank you. I'm just overwhelmed and struggling to think straight "

You are very welcome. Just look after yourself xx

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By *rcticFoxxx OP   Woman
over a year ago

Hereabouts


"I have supported and alcoholic friend in the past. She was a very intelligent and sane individual but going cold turkey can be a serious business medically, and she was always advised to do it as a in-patient in the appropriate medical facility. I wish you luck, it is a difficult thing to stand by."

Last month she ended up in hospital and I tried to fight for her to be kept in at least overnight. I think an in-patient facility is the best place for her, but I don't know how to go about getting her there

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Al anon used to have a help line for friends and relatives, I found them very helpful. As said above you can't manage this alone.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's will power and the want to change

Like anything if you don't really want to stop drinking you won't

All the support groups in the world won't help you if your only doing it because you feel you should

The will to come off drink comes from within, and if you have the will you will do it, its not going to happen over night nor will it be easy but it will be done

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"I have supported and alcoholic friend in the past. She was a very intelligent and sane individual but going cold turkey can be a serious business medically, and she was always advised to do it as a in-patient in the appropriate medical facility. I wish you luck, it is a difficult thing to stand by.

Last month she ended up in hospital and I tried to fight for her to be kept in at least overnight. I think an in-patient facility is the best place for her, but I don't know how to go about getting her there "

In my experience a person needs to be collapsed before they will be taken in let alone kept in. It's horrible for someone trying to look after them. Make sure you don't take this all on yourself.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

Don't help for too long.

I'm not overly cynical but the world has so many alcoholics , so little resources to help and so much unwillingness to give up the drink.

It's a way of coping with other stuff.

Many alcoholics give up their own flesh and blood for booze.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"Don't help for too long.

I'm not overly cynical but the world has so many alcoholics , so little resources to help and so much unwillingness to give up the drink.

It's a way of coping with other stuff.

Many alcoholics give up their own flesh and blood for booze. "

This is realistic advice.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 22/02/15 15:28:55]

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

You need to take care of yourself and as you have mentioned she has a daughter do what you can to ensure the child is safe and cared for during this time.

If you can go to the GP with her tomorrow then do.

Withdrawal is dangerous. The body goes into shock and she will be feeling it in every pore and cell.

You cannot take this on on your own. She can only get better when she wants to get better. It's a hard lesson to learn but people on self-destruct are not reasonable. Addictions control and the person is lost to everyone, including themselves.

Good luck. Take it hour by hour today.

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By *rcticFoxxx OP   Woman
over a year ago

Hereabouts

Thank you all for yor advice. Shes sat drinking half wine half lemonade and doing a crossword to keep her mind busy. I'm keeping an eye on her and I'll go with her to see the GP tomorrow. I've suggested she ask for help with her withdrawal symptoms but she's adamant she wants to go back to work this week. I'll be going to Al Anon on Wednesday and hopefully get some support. It's scary and stressful. Thank you for all your help x

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs


"I have supported and alcoholic friend in the past. She was a very intelligent and sane individual but going cold turkey can be a serious business medically, and she was always advised to do it as a in-patient in the appropriate medical facility. I wish you luck, it is a difficult thing to stand by.

Last month she ended up in hospital and I tried to fight for her to be kept in at least overnight. I think an in-patient facility is the best place for her, but I don't know how to go about getting her there "

It would be a GP referral for sure. My friend was booked in well in advance and stayed for four or so days I believe, the first two were sleeping off withdrawl with a lot of medication!! She also got a place on a rehab facility after where she went for some weeks.

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By *isscheekychopsWoman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

I would advise to seek medical advice. It's dangerous for an alcholic to go cold turkey as they can suffer withdrawal seizures which can be fatal. It's important to go to GP as they will prescribe medication to decrease the risk of seizures along with other medication needed such as thiamine. GP will also complete a liver function test.

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By *issmorganWoman
over a year ago

Calderdale innit


"It's will power and the want to change

Like anything if you don't really want to stop drinking you won't

All the support groups in the world won't help you if your only doing it because you feel you should

The will to come off drink comes from within, and if you have the will you will do it, its not going to happen over night nor will it be easy but it will be done "

this is so true,i wish you luck as its heartbreaking being in this situation.i went through it with a family member and if they are not ready to change they won't sadly.Big hugs xx

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