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Advice please

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I'd like some advice please. If someone you have met a few times suddenly stops texting, messaging and doesn't even look at your profile, would you just delete them and move on? I have messaged him recently and its been read and deleted, no reply. I am thinking it's over but I just wish he would tell me but he goes online and there is nothing. Thank you

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"I'd like some advice please. If someone you have met a few times suddenly stops texting, messaging and doesn't even look at your profile, would you just delete them and move on? I have messaged him recently and its been read and deleted, no reply. I am thinking it's over but I just wish he would tell me but he goes online and there is nothing. Thank you"

He's telling you its over without having the guts to say anything. So yes, I would delete and move on .

Plenty more trains will be pulling in to your station

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Maybe he just needs a break? Could be he feels thing's getting to serious?

Dunno it's hard to say.

Maybe send a message asking if you still want to be friends. If he doesn't reply. Then delete friend and block.

Good luck hope all works out ok.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

See it for what it is ....... He could mail if he wished too or texyou and he is not maybe he just has alot on in life right now... Just let him get on with life and you do the same .. You will drive yourself nuts if you keep over thinking things and its not worth it. X ((Hugs))

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

He's read your messages and deletes without replying?

Move on, plenty of other guys out there.

Possibly block him too so that whenever he decides he wants you again he realises his mistake.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd say move on, and only block if you want to not risk him contacting you.

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By *radleyandRavenCouple
over a year ago

Herts

Yep, block and move on.

Plenty more...rhinos...in... Wales...or something like that!

But on a serious note, if he had something going on and he cared, he could at least have the decency to tell you. I imagine he's just lost interest.

He can't complain when you're suddenly not there for him to come running back to if he can't/won't offer an explanation.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'd like some advice please. If someone you have met a few times suddenly stops texting, messaging and doesn't even look at your profile, would you just delete them and move on? I have messaged him recently and its been read and deleted, no reply. I am thinking it's over but I just wish he would tell me but he goes online and there is nothing. Thank you"

Forget about him and move on to better things. Unfortunately I'd guess he is not interested

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By (user no longer on site)
Forum Mod
over a year ago

It is over

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

also not forgetting this is no strings, to some people that means they owe you nothing not even an explanation. I'm not agreeing with that but it could be his way of approaching things.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Don't message him again.

Go message the billion and one other single guys on Fab. There is a LOT more fish in the Fab sea. Enjoy!

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By *himneyMan
over a year ago

South London

as Roy Orbison once sang:

"Tender nights before they fly

Send falling stars that seem to cry

Your baby doesn't want you anymore

It's over"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It is over "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Has he got any medical conditions?

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By *MaleMan
over a year ago

Leave them to it, dont take offence and move one.

Think of the nature of swinging assuming your here for 'the swing'. On the whole its respect, appeal etc but no strings ultimately.

Sometimes people can get to know each other too well, strings appear then one half backs off leaving the other wondering.

Live, learn, move on and remember what was learned

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Takes seconds to send a reply, if he has time to read and then delete then he would have time to respond. Save your dignity and don't message again. I wouldn't block him either just do the same to him should he ever message you.

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

FOWW I call it - 'Fucked Off Without a Word'

Very common on 'dating' sites - move on without a backward glance, they are a mannerless coward.

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By *aneandpaulCouple
over a year ago

cleveleys

Just get over it we have been swinging 35 years now we only meet single guy,s they come and go meet someone else and do the same to us it,s only sex at the end of the day your not looking for love hope been some help to you Jane

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"FOWW I call it - 'Fucked Off Without a Word'

Very common on 'dating' sites - move on without a backward glance, they are a mannerless coward.

"
yes that is one way of looking at it ... Better then lies maybe .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Walk away and have fun with someone who wants to be with you.

If he hasn't the balls to say it to even through a message then fuck him - spineless twunt

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I wouldn't block him. If he sees you've blocked him he'll just think 'what a bitch' in the future he may want to nose at your profile, show him what he's missing. When he messages you again just read and delete without replying

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Walk away and have fun with someone who wants to be with you.

If he hasn't the balls to say it to even through a message then fuck him - spineless twunt "

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By *oveSlutForUseCouple
over a year ago

Brighton


"Walk away and have fun with someone who wants to be with you.

If he hasn't the balls to say it to even through a message then fuck him - spineless twunt "

that is a pathetic sad thing to say. this is a no strings site. given what teh OP is feeling, I don't blame him for vanishing.

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By *ere-for-my-convenienceWoman
over a year ago

Tenbury Wells

It's nsa arrangements here

Move on

Its not like you don't have plenty of choice ffs xxxx

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By *o new WinksMan
over a year ago

BSE


"I'd like some advice please. If someone you have met a few times suddenly stops texting, messaging and doesn't even look at your profile, would you just delete them and move on? I have messaged him recently and its been read and deleted, no reply. I am thinking it's over but I just wish he would tell me but he goes online and there is nothing. Thank you"

Yes, he has lost interest. The best thing to do is move on and post a meet or status to say you are looking.

This may reawaken his interest, but it will certainly get some interest from others.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Walk away and have fun with someone who wants to be with you.

If he hasn't the balls to say it to even through a message then fuck him - spineless twunt

that is a pathetic sad thing to say. this is a no strings site. given what teh OP is feeling, I don't blame him for vanishing."

Really? Even with NSA there is still something called manners and respect!

The OP's feelings - whilst difficult for her still don't excuse him being a spineless twunt

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'd like some advice please. If someone you have met a few times suddenly stops texting, messaging and doesn't even look at your profile, would you just delete them and move on? I have messaged him recently and its been read and deleted, no reply. I am thinking it's over but I just wish he would tell me but he goes online and there is nothing. Thank you

He's telling you its over without having the guts to say anything. So yes, I would delete and move on .

Plenty more trains will be pulling in to your station "

Spot on.

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By *radleyandRavenCouple
over a year ago

Herts


"I wouldn't block him. If he sees you've blocked him he'll just think 'what a bitch' in the future he may want to nose at your profile, show him what he's missing. When he messages you again just read and delete without replying"

Ok, genuine question as I've never understood this attitude - What do you get out of it?

I have friends who keep exes on Facebook just so that they can prove that they've moved on and are having so much fun and want said person to "see what they're missing".

Now, to me, an ex is an ex for a reason and I don't like people snooping on my life, so they get blocked.

Surely if they didn't want you, they're not "missing out" on anything so what's the logic there? It's always confused me. Is it like trying to somehow out do each other, a power trip thing or is there hope that they'll suddenly change their mind and come running back?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Walk away and have fun with someone who wants to be with you.

If he hasn't the balls to say it to even through a message then fuck him - spineless twunt

that is a pathetic sad thing to say. this is a no strings site. given what teh OP is feeling, I don't blame him for vanishing.

Exactly

Really? Even with NSA there is still something called manners and respect!

The OP's feelings - whilst difficult for her still don't excuse him being a spineless twunt"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sites like this should be just a bit of fun ... But you can get close to some people having sex and at times and feelings come into it and when its not a two way thing people can get hurt and feel used as felt they was there friend and not just a leg over .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I wouldn't block him. If he sees you've blocked him he'll just think 'what a bitch' in the future he may want to nose at your profile, show him what he's missing. When he messages you again just read and delete without replying

Ok, genuine question as I've never understood this attitude - What do you get out of it?

I have friends who keep exes on Facebook just so that they can prove that they've moved on and are having so much fun and want said person to "see what they're missing".

Now, to me, an ex is an ex for a reason and I don't like people snooping on my life, so they get blocked.

Surely if they didn't want you, they're not "missing out" on anything so what's the logic there? It's always confused me. Is it like trying to somehow out do each other, a power trip thing or is there hope that they'll suddenly change their mind and come running back?"

If you block them it can look like you're just as childish as them or that it's bothered you.

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By *o new WinksMan
over a year ago

BSE

This thread is a giveaway that she is bothered

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"This thread is a giveaway that she is bothered "
yes she maybe felt she had made a friend .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would forget it and move on most definetely. It's not a relationship experience, just no strings. Don't take it personally either. There's lots of really fun fellas out there.

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By *o new WinksMan
over a year ago

BSE


"This thread is a giveaway that she is bothered yes she maybe felt she had made a friend ."

No doubt, I was just replying to Athena

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"This thread is a giveaway that she is bothered yes she maybe felt she had made a friend .

No doubt, I was just replying to Athena"

If they use the forum they will yeah!

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead


"

If they use the forum they will yeah! "

and this is what i was thinking.....

what i was also thinking is that it is all well and good jumping on one side of the story...... but last time i checked there were normally two sides....

so for all you people calling the other people nasty names... remember this

"dignity"........

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

If they use the forum they will yeah!

and this is what i was thinking.....

what i was also thinking is that it is all well and good jumping on one side of the story...... but last time i checked there were normally two sides....

so for all you people calling the other people nasty names... remember this

"dignity"........

"

Not "name calling" Fabio - not taking sides either but if the messages are just being "read, deleted" as the OP states then whoever he is is a spineless twunt in my book whatever else may have gone on between them for it to reach this point.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"I wouldn't block him. If he sees you've blocked him he'll just think 'what a bitch' in the future he may want to nose at your profile, show him what he's missing. When he messages you again just read and delete without replying

Ok, genuine question as I've never understood this attitude - What do you get out of it?

I have friends who keep exes on Facebook just so that they can prove that they've moved on and are having so much fun and want said person to "see what they're missing".

Now, to me, an ex is an ex for a reason and I don't like people snooping on my life, so they get blocked.

Surely if they didn't want you, they're not "missing out" on anything so what's the logic there? It's always confused me. Is it like trying to somehow out do each other, a power trip thing or is there hope that they'll suddenly change their mind and come running back?

If you block them it can look like you're just as childish as them or that it's bothered you.

"

And should the unfortunate man who has done this read the forums he will know anyway. We know one side of this story so I think calling the guy names as has been done further up or childish as on this post is unfair. Also if a man had posted the same he would be told to man up and move on.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"

If they use the forum they will yeah!

and this is what i was thinking.....

what i was also thinking is that it is all well and good jumping on one side of the story...... but last time i checked there were normally two sides....

so for all you people calling the other people nasty names... remember this

"dignity"........

"

I agree. Sorry hadn't read your post before I replied earlier.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"

If they use the forum they will yeah!

and this is what i was thinking.....

what i was also thinking is that it is all well and good jumping on one side of the story...... but last time i checked there were normally two sides....

so for all you people calling the other people nasty names... remember this

"dignity"........

Not "name calling" Fabio - not taking sides either but if the messages are just being "read, deleted" as the OP states then whoever he is is a spineless twunt in my book whatever else may have gone on between them for it to reach this point."

Whatever else? That's quite a broad canvas.

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

this is definately one of those thread where had it been a man in that position and posted this, it would have gone a lot.... lot differently.....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'd like some advice please. If someone you have met a few times suddenly stops texting, messaging and doesn't even look at your profile, would you just delete them and move on? I have messaged him recently and its been read and deleted, no reply. I am thinking it's over but I just wish he would tell me but he goes online and there is nothing. Thank you"

Delete, forget and move on...Next please. We get that all the time and thats exactly what we do everytime

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

Whatever else? That's quite a broad canvas."

Fabio used the word "dignity" - that in my book goes hand in hand with respect and manners.

What would it honestly take for him to say "I'm sorry but i think its run its course, good luck"

Or " I don't feel the same and I'm sorry we won't go any further"

or anything else along that vein.

One sentence is all it would've taken and anyone with an ounce of manners and respect would do it.

I doubt if this thread would even have been started if they had done so.

I'm sorry - but there's no excuse whether this is a swingers site, sex site, nsa or any other sort of site to be ignorant.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"this is definately one of those thread where had it been a man in that position and posted this, it would have gone a lot.... lot differently....."

There's no denying that Fabio!

MTFU would be the phrase used no doubt....

I hope the other side of this is reading this thread and does just that.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'd like some advice please. If someone you have met a few times suddenly stops texting, messaging and doesn't even look at your profile, would you just delete them and move on? I have messaged him recently and its been read and deleted, no reply. I am thinking it's over but I just wish he would tell me but he goes online and there is nothing. Thank you"
. Delete block move on girl.... Plenty more fish in the sea....x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

Whatever else? That's quite a broad canvas.

Fabio used the word "dignity" - that in my book goes hand in hand with respect and manners.

What would it honestly take for him to say "I'm sorry but i think its run its course, good luck"

Or " I don't feel the same and I'm sorry we won't go any further"

or anything else along that vein.

One sentence is all it would've taken and anyone with an ounce of manners and respect would do it.

I doubt if this thread would even have been started if they had done so.

I'm sorry - but there's no excuse whether this is a swingers site, sex site, nsa or any other sort of site to be ignorant."
yes your right ... if she only new .. she would not be feeling like this.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes this is a swinging site for NSA sex but there's no excuse for lack of manners, especially if they have had several meets. If he's reading and deleting messages then that's just plain old rude in my opinion.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"

Whatever else? That's quite a broad canvas.

Fabio used the word "dignity" - that in my book goes hand in hand with respect and manners.

What would it honestly take for him to say "I'm sorry but i think its run its course, good luck"

Or " I don't feel the same and I'm sorry we won't go any further"

or anything else along that vein.

One sentence is all it would've taken and anyone with an ounce of manners and respect would do it.

I doubt if this thread would even have been started if they had done so.

I'm sorry - but there's no excuse whether this is a swingers site, sex site, nsa or any other sort of site to be ignorant."

No there is no reason to be rude in any event even in the forums to a third person who has no recourse to a response. On the face of it I think that he didn't have the guts to respond but none of us except the two people involved know what the last message the op sent said.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"

Whatever else? That's quite a broad canvas.

Fabio used the word "dignity" - that in my book goes hand in hand with respect and manners.

What would it honestly take for him to say "I'm sorry but i think its run its course, good luck"

Or " I don't feel the same and I'm sorry we won't go any further"

or anything else along that vein.

One sentence is all it would've taken and anyone with an ounce of manners and respect would do it.

I doubt if this thread would even have been started if they had done so.

I'm sorry - but there's no excuse whether this is a swingers site, sex site, nsa or any other sort of site to be ignorant."

No there is no reason to be rude in any event even in the forums to a third person who has no recourse to a response. On the face of it I think that he didn't have the guts to respond but none of us except the two people involved know what the last message the op sent said.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

[Removed by poster at 21/02/15 16:28:25]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Yes this is a swinging site for NSA sex but there's no excuse for lack of manners, especially if they have had several meets. If he's reading and deleting messages then that's just plain old rude in my opinion."

Agreed! Swinging or not manners should be present. I think it displays blatant disrespect

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

He has recourse to respond though - he can quite easily message the OP or even MTFU and post in here.

It's quite obvious more than a few of us would do so.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I wouldn't block him. If he sees you've blocked him he'll just think 'what a bitch' in the future he may want to nose at your profile, show him what he's missing. When he messages you again just read and delete without replying

Ok, genuine question as I've never understood this attitude - What do you get out of it?

I have friends who keep exes on Facebook just so that they can prove that they've moved on and are having so much fun and want said person to "see what they're missing".

Now, to me, an ex is an ex for a reason and I don't like people snooping on my life, so they get blocked.

Surely if they didn't want you, they're not "missing out" on anything so what's the logic there? It's always confused me. Is it like trying to somehow out do each other, a power trip thing or is there hope that they'll suddenly change their mind and come running back?

If you block them it can look like you're just as childish as them or that it's bothered you.

"

it's to save face and maintain some dignity

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Takes seconds to send a reply, if he has time to read and then delete then he would have time to respond. Save your dignity and don't message again. I wouldn't block him either just do the same to him should he ever message you. "

^^^^ this

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"He has recourse to respond though - he can quite easily message the OP or even MTFU and post in here.

It's quite obvious more than a few of us would do so."

Maybe he believes in discretion and doesn't want to either wash his dirty linen in public or start "he said, she said".

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

would i reply at all after the one way savaging in this thread... either publicly or privately......

not a chance.......

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

he could have a valid reason for not replying to you,although to me it is rude as you seem to have been meeting a few times.for this i wouldnt block him,but move on,times do change,and some look for new pastures.as maybe you should,which,im sure you wont have any problems.......

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Him doing that really she has got her answer. He could be keeping her hanging on if nothing better come along when he is in need of sex and mail . Some do that I find here .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"He has recourse to respond though - he can quite easily message the OP or even MTFU and post in here.

It's quite obvious more than a few of us would do so.

Maybe he believes in discretion and doesn't want to either wash his dirty linen in public or start "he said, she said".

"

He doesn't have to in a private pm to her.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"would i reply at all after the one way savaging in this thread... either publicly or privately......

not a chance......."

I might be wrong Fabio but I doubt you would lack the manners to say "thank you but it's time" in the first place.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"He has recourse to respond though - he can quite easily message the OP or even MTFU and post in here.

It's quite obvious more than a few of us would do so.

Maybe he believes in discretion and doesn't want to either wash his dirty linen in public or start "he said, she said".

He doesn't have to in a private pm to her."

Indeed he doesn't. However my main point in all of this isn't whether it's impolite to tell someone you no longer wish to be in contact with them but that it seems that we are happy to condemn this man on the basis of one side of a story. If as everyone has assumed this lady has been cast aside with never a care for her feelings let alone an explanation then yes, he's a cad of the first order but what if that isn't quite how it happened?

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By (user no longer on site)
Forum Mod
over a year ago

He may have felt he was being hounded and under pressure

Messages in here,messages via text

When I feel under pressure I just ignore the person because they have driven me mad

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By *issmorganWoman
over a year ago

Calderdale innit

I would just not contact,if he wants to talk he knows where you are.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The main reasons guys (or women) pull the plug after a number of meets is because it's gotten more intense than what they originally wanted. If the person was told from the offset that the time they spend together will never amount to anything more then they can't really moan when the other person puts a stop to it.

Who's to blame? Nobody really but it is harder for women to not become attached or develop at least some feelings for someone they're having regular sex with, because of that reason I think men should just be a little bit more tactful and aware that situations like this can happen. This is also exactly why I won't let anyone inside or even near my fanny, I don't care if my pubes grow down to my fucking knees, I'm not shaving it until I'm going to have sex and that the person I have sex with has feelings for me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The main reasons guys (or women) pull the plug after a number of meets is because it's gotten more intense than what they originally wanted. If the person was told from the offset that the time they spend together will never amount to anything more then they can't really moan when the other person puts a stop to it.

Who's to blame? Nobody really but it is harder for women to not become attached or develop at least some feelings for someone they're having regular sex with, because of that reason I think men should just be a little bit more tactful and aware that situations like this can happen. This is also exactly why I won't let anyone inside or even near my fanny, I don't care if my pubes grow down to my fucking knees, I'm not shaving it until I'm going to have sex and that the person I have sex with has feelings for me. "
would you do better on one of them dating sites .. not the free ones as some say all just after sex like here . I know people who have meet the love of their lives on them .

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"The main reasons guys (or women) pull the plug after a number of meets is because it's gotten more intense than what they originally wanted. If the person was told from the offset that the time they spend together will never amount to anything more then they can't really moan when the other person puts a stop to it.

Who's to blame? Nobody really but it is harder for women to not become attached or develop at least some feelings for someone they're having regular sex with, because of that reason I think men should just be a little bit more tactful and aware that situations like this can happen. This is also exactly why I won't let anyone inside or even near my fanny, I don't care if my pubes grow down to my fucking knees, I'm not shaving it until I'm going to have sex and that the person I have sex with has feelings for me. "

Im overwhelmed with the lovely support from all you lovely men and ladies on here. Thank you so much. I cant bring myself to block him as people have said, I would feel like a utter bitch and I will try to not reply should he message me at all.

I did consider him a friend not just someone for sex and he did tell me he felt the same way about me. We clicked socially as well as sexually.

To explain a bit more, he is away working in the Arctic at the moment so I am aware contact would be limited but when he is online he is in Canada getting lab supplies. He runs a lab. Very intelligent, but sadly it seems not regarding telling someone its over.

Anyway, im gabbling lol, I do talk a lot, but I appreciate you all and thank you again for your support and honesty.

Maria x

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"

If they use the forum they will yeah!

and this is what i was thinking.....

what i was also thinking is that it is all well and good jumping on one side of the story...... but last time i checked there were normally two sides....

so for all you people calling the other people nasty names... remember this

"dignity"........

"

I hope my explanation below sorts out the two sides to the story, if not, im happy to explain a bit more but its probably not worth the paper its written on, so like Ive been advised move on and find all the other fish in Fab's sea

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

OP some of us have come across same sort of man in our time here .. you live and lean His name did not start with a Br , lol x I read things here at times think ooo sound like a person I have know.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"FOWW I call it - 'Fucked Off Without a Word'

Very common on 'dating' sites - move on without a backward glance, they are a mannerless coward.

"

This made me have a little smile - I may pinch this to remind me not to care too much if there is a next time.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"this is definately one of those thread where had it been a man in that position and posted this, it would have gone a lot.... lot differently....."

I was prepared for negative comments too Fabio, if you dont mind my using your name that is. Not saying yours was negative, I dont mind receiving both negative and positive advice, I did ask for it.

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By (user no longer on site)
Forum Mod
over a year ago

If he really is a scientist in the arctic do you think it was a good idea to post his occupation on here?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"OP some of us have come across same sort of man in our time here .. you live and lean His name did not start with a Br , lol x I read things here at times think ooo sound like a person I have know."

No it didnt start with those initials

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"If he really is a scientist in the arctic do you think it was a good idea to post his occupation on here? "

Maybe not, no. it was a knee jerk answer to the post. He works in uk normally.

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By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago

Scotland - Aberdeen


"If he really is a scientist in the arctic do you think it was a good idea to post his occupation on here? "

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"He may have felt he was being hounded and under pressure

Messages in here,messages via text

When I feel under pressure I just ignore the person because they have driven me mad

"

I messaged him here this week as I saw he was online, for the first time in a week. we messaged last week on here and then we were texting each other. He didnt need to have replied, other than to say its over.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I wouldn't block him. If he sees you've blocked him he'll just think 'what a bitch' in the future he may want to nose at your profile, show him what he's missing. When he messages you again just read and delete without replying

Ok, genuine question as I've never understood this attitude - What do you get out of it?

I have friends who keep exes on Facebook just so that they can prove that they've moved on and are having so much fun and want said person to "see what they're missing".

Now, to me, an ex is an ex for a reason and I don't like people snooping on my life, so they get blocked.

Surely if they didn't want you, they're not "missing out" on anything so what's the logic there? It's always confused me. Is it like trying to somehow out do each other, a power trip thing or is there hope that they'll suddenly change their mind and come running back?

If you block them it can look like you're just as childish as them or that it's bothered you.

And should the unfortunate man who has done this read the forums he will know anyway. We know one side of this story so I think calling the guy names as has been done further up or childish as on this post is unfair. Also if a man had posted the same he would be told to man up and move on."

Absobloodylutely! Was just reading and thinking yeah and they would all respond the same way if it were a bloke posting this....Not.He'd be shredded lol.

OP he isnt interested he has a new toy and you should maintain your dignity and do the same.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"He has recourse to respond though - he can quite easily message the OP or even MTFU and post in here.

It's quite obvious more than a few of us would do so.

Maybe he believes in discretion and doesn't want to either wash his dirty linen in public or start "he said, she said".

He doesn't have to in a private pm to her.

Indeed he doesn't. However my main point in all of this isn't whether it's impolite to tell someone you no longer wish to be in contact with them but that it seems that we are happy to condemn this man on the basis of one side of a story. If as everyone has assumed this lady has been cast aside with never a care for her feelings let alone an explanation then yes, he's a cad of the first order but what if that isn't quite how it happened?

"

Thank you for your posts, nicecouple, there has been no explanation. so im going to ignore him, but being honest, bloody hard when hes on my friends list and I wont delete him.

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By (user no longer on site)
Forum Mod
over a year ago


"He may have felt he was being hounded and under pressure

Messages in here,messages via text

When I feel under pressure I just ignore the person because they have driven me mad

I messaged him here this week as I saw he was online, for the first time in a week. we messaged last week on here and then we were texting each other. He didnt need to have replied, other than to say its over. "

I was just being devils advocate red

This guy has been slated on here and now you've given his occupation away,although my cynical head is telling me that the likelihood of him being an arctic scientist is about as credible as me growing a cock by morning,but thats just me

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"The main reasons guys (or women) pull the plug after a number of meets is because it's gotten more intense than what they originally wanted. If the person was told from the offset that the time they spend together will never amount to anything more then they can't really moan when the other person puts a stop to it.

Who's to blame? Nobody really but it is harder for women to not become attached or develop at least some feelings for someone they're having regular sex with, because of that reason I think men should just be a little bit more tactful and aware that situations like this can happen. This is also exactly why I won't let anyone inside or even near my fanny, I don't care if my pubes grow down to my fucking knees, I'm not shaving it until I'm going to have sex and that the person I have sex with has feelings for me.

Im overwhelmed with the lovely support from all you lovely men and ladies on here. Thank you so much. I cant bring myself to block him as people have said, I would feel like a utter bitch and I will try to not reply should he message me at all.

I did consider him a friend not just someone for sex and he did tell me he felt the same way about me. We clicked socially as well as sexually.

To explain a bit more, he is away working in the Arctic at the moment so I am aware contact would be limited but when he is online he is in Canada getting lab supplies. He runs a lab. Very intelligent, but sadly it seems not regarding telling someone its over.

Anyway, im gabbling lol, I do talk a lot, but I appreciate you all and thank you again for your support and honesty.

Maria x "

Too much information about him, way, way too much information.

You've had your say leave it here and move on and stop posting personal details about the man.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If he really is a scientist in the arctic do you think it was a good idea to post his occupation on here? "
He could have made his job up to look good ....... some I find do that here. Why I take most things with a pinch of salt until I meet see with my own eyes .. people can be who ever on the net .

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"He has recourse to respond though - he can quite easily message the OP or even MTFU and post in here.

It's quite obvious more than a few of us would do so.

Maybe he believes in discretion and doesn't want to either wash his dirty linen in public or start "he said, she said".

He doesn't have to in a private pm to her.

Indeed he doesn't. However my main point in all of this isn't whether it's impolite to tell someone you no longer wish to be in contact with them but that it seems that we are happy to condemn this man on the basis of one side of a story. If as everyone has assumed this lady has been cast aside with never a care for her feelings let alone an explanation then yes, he's a cad of the first order but what if that isn't quite how it happened?

Thank you for your posts, nicecouple, there has been no explanation. so im going to ignore him, but being honest, bloody hard when hes on my friends list and I wont delete him. "

you're welcome but as I said, I feel for your own dignity and discretion maybe its time to step away.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"He has recourse to respond though - he can quite easily message the OP or even MTFU and post in here.

It's quite obvious more than a few of us would do so.

Maybe he believes in discretion and doesn't want to either wash his dirty linen in public or start "he said, she said".

He doesn't have to in a private pm to her.

Indeed he doesn't. However my main point in all of this isn't whether it's impolite to tell someone you no longer wish to be in contact with them but that it seems that we are happy to condemn this man on the basis of one side of a story. If as everyone has assumed this lady has been cast aside with never a care for her feelings let alone an explanation then yes, he's a cad of the first order but what if that isn't quite how it happened?

Thank you for your posts, nicecouple, there has been no explanation. so im going to ignore him, but being honest, bloody hard when hes on my friends list and I wont delete him.

you're welcome but as I said, I feel for your own dignity and discretion maybe its time to step away."

My dignity is intact, ok discretion went a bit awol, I apologise, I am normally very discrete. Maybe time for the mods to close my thread? My last post on this topic

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"He may have felt he was being hounded and under pressure

Messages in here,messages via text

When I feel under pressure I just ignore the person because they have driven me mad

I messaged him here this week as I saw he was online, for the first time in a week. we messaged last week on here and then we were texting each other. He didnt need to have replied, other than to say its over. "

whats "over"? youre married, had 35 meets, im assuming all fun, so why is this guy any different? Maybe hes had his fun and is moving on. he has no need to explain if he doesn't feel like meeting you again. maybe hes also married and has an attack of conscience, there could be many reasons. Have some respect for yourself and move on.

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By *issHottieBottieWoman
over a year ago

Kent


"

Whatever else? That's quite a broad canvas.

Fabio used the word "dignity" - that in my book goes hand in hand with respect and manners.

What would it honestly take for him to say "I'm sorry but i think its run its course, good luck"

Or " I don't feel the same and I'm sorry we won't go any further"

or anything else along that vein.

One sentence is all it would've taken and anyone with an ounce of manners and respect would do it.

I doubt if this thread would even have been started if they had done so.

I'm sorry - but there's no excuse whether this is a swingers site, sex site, nsa or any other sort of site to be ignorant."

If that was a bloke that had started the thread it would be 'she's clearly not interested. Probably hasn't replied as some men get shitty and don't take rejection well. Just take a no reply as no longer interested and get over it.

Interesting how replied differ from make to female

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

being cruel to be kind......

kinda sounds a bit like you're stalking.

hope he doesnt have any rabbits

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By *issHottieBottieWoman
over a year ago

Kent


"

Whatever else? That's quite a broad canvas.

Fabio used the word "dignity" - that in my book goes hand in hand with respect and manners.

What would it honestly take for him to say "I'm sorry but i think its run its course, good luck"

Or " I don't feel the same and I'm sorry we won't go any further"

or anything else along that vein.

One sentence is all it would've taken and anyone with an ounce of manners and respect would do it.

I doubt if this thread would even have been started if they had done so.

I'm sorry - but there's no excuse whether this is a swingers site, sex site, nsa or any other sort of site to be ignorant.

If that was a bloke that had started the thread it would be 'she's clearly not interested. Probably hasn't replied as some men get shitty and don't take rejection well. Just take a no reply as no longer interested and get over it.

Interesting how replied differ from make to female "

It's also interesting how my phone just changes words whenever it feels like it!!

*replies differ from male to female!

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By (user no longer on site)
Forum Mod
over a year ago

My kindle doesn't like rude words

Its a complete prude

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By *ifferent69Man
over a year ago

BRIGHTON, UK

Move on....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would just leave it now, don't look at his profile and don't keep looking to see if he's messaged. He probably wants to meet other women.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The main reasons guys (or women) pull the plug after a number of meets is because it's gotten more intense than what they originally wanted."

Or they realise they hate you...

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By *radleyandRavenCouple
over a year ago

Herts


"I wouldn't block him. If he sees you've blocked him he'll just think 'what a bitch' in the future he may want to nose at your profile, show him what he's missing. When he messages you again just read and delete without replying

Ok, genuine question as I've never understood this attitude - What do you get out of it?

I have friends who keep exes on Facebook just so that they can prove that they've moved on and are having so much fun and want said person to "see what they're missing".

Now, to me, an ex is an ex for a reason and I don't like people snooping on my life, so they get blocked.

Surely if they didn't want you, they're not "missing out" on anything so what's the logic there? It's always confused me. Is it like trying to somehow out do each other, a power trip thing or is there hope that they'll suddenly change their mind and come running back?

If you block them it can look like you're just as childish as them or that it's bothered you.

"

Hmm, I suppose. Never crossed my mind as I don't care what other people think, ergo didn't understand.

I also have no patience for people so I guess to me blocking makes more sense to save their excuses and save them wasting my time again.

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