FabSwingers.com forum: Religious question

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

There have been a few threads on here of late that have had replies from people who purport to be religious and members of one of the major faiths – catholic, muslim, christian, etc.

I would love to know – how do you justify being on a swinging site when it is quite clearly against your gods’ rules? All the above faiths have restrictions on things like extra-marital sex, pre-marital sex, contraception and so forth. Is it just a question of “pick and choose what you want from the religion”?

In my own atheist _iew, (and I’m just using RC as an example) – if you use contraception, have sex with people other than your spouse, and break various other of your religion’s rules, how can you possibly call yourself catholic?

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By *ushroom7Man
over a year ago

Bradford

Excellent post. Good thinking. Good question.

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By *oe_Steve_NWestCouple
over a year ago

Bolton

I consider myself to be a Christian although not a church goer - what I do is entirely up to me! Z

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

oooo - this should be fun!

I'm an agnostic so I can't speak for those who do have faith but my understanding of those who are not devout worshippers is that they recognise that their religion has some laws they consider arcane and some they feel have a bearing on their lives today - so yes, maybe they do pick and choose the laws they'll adhere to and which ones they'll ignore. I have a lot more respect for people like that tbh, as it shows that they refuse to follow blindly.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

p.s. Nice tits.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"p.s. Nice tits.

lol, ta everso

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I consider myself to be a Christian although not a church goer - what I do is entirely up to me! Z"

That's fair enough, but do you use your religion as a pro argument in other walks of life knowing that you are speaking as only a part-follower of your god's rules?

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By *uton_coupleCouple
over a year ago

luton

it seems bewildering to me that threads like this one are allowed , even though it would obviously be an interesting debate

i say this because i now live in fear of being banned from the forums , not for promoting my personel veiws but for exposing the veiws of for example MP,s , who have them on record coming from there own mouths on you tube , hansard etc

of course this is not only a friendly site , it is also i would say the best site i have ever been on , and the last thing i want is to lose contact with people we may meet in the future

i think that all i am trying to say is that i can understand the wish to prevent heated debate , and the exchange of insults etc , but we should all realise that if we are on political , or religious threads , we most definately need to be of a paticular persuation , and dare not stray from the path , ie keep to the middle of the road , so like i say it just not make sense to have threads of this nature , interesting though they may be

:-I

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By *ensualfire88Man
over a year ago

Edinburgh

The current day trend of "picking and choosing" which bits of your religion you decide to either advocate or practice to suit your own ends is the best advert going for the utter hypocrisy of the whole thing.

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By *ushroom7Man
over a year ago

Bradford

"it seems bewildering to me that threads like this one are allowed , even though it would obviously be an interesting debate

of course this is not only a friendly site , it is also i would say the best site i have ever been on , and the last thing i want is to lose contact with people we may meet in the future

:-I"

you're still here

are you hinting that it is heresy to comment on southern sooth sayers?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've been waiting for this thread to come up and have been watching with interest the posts that have mention of religion in them.

I have a faith and I practice that faith on a daily basis. I'm a Christian and I regularly attend church and am an active member in that church.

I don't feel the need to justify my actions or what I do on this site.

The other members of the church have no idea what I get up to in private, but that isn't because I choose to hide it from them. It's because I choose to hide it from all of my friends and relatives as I believe strongly that discretion is neccessary for me when it comes to this lifestyle. I have a job, children etc like a lot of people do on here.

My faith to me is something that guides me on a daily basis. Its very personnal. I live by the morals it teaches me, but that's not to say that those morals don't allow for fun and frolics. The Christian faith is known to the masses by the teachings of hundreds of years ago and with all the will in the world it cannot possibly be abided by word for word in a modern society. I don't pick and choose which 'bits' I want to belive and I have wrestled with my concience by doing what I do but after all that I don't hurt anyone and any sexual acts I undertake (although not that bloody many!!!) are consented to by both parties.

Anyone who wishes to question me on this can do. But don't judge me. That's for Him upstairs only

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By *ushroom7Man
over a year ago

Bradford

"I've been waiting for this thread to come up and have been watching with interest the posts that have mention of religion in them.

I have a faith and I practice that faith on a daily basis. I'm a Christian and I regularly attend church and am an active member in that church.

I don't feel the need to justify my actions or what I do on this site.

Anyone who wishes to question me on this can do. But don't judge me. That's for Him upstairs only

The word "Him" is noted. ty.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I find Aetheism a total oxymoron if I'm honest...to not beleive in any religion is, in itself, a belief.

As an Aetheist, not following any religious code, do you therefore shirk all moral obligations then?

Are you breaking your code of disbelief if you don't have sex with anyone and everyone??

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I've been waiting for this thread to come up and have been watching with interest the posts that have mention of religion in them.

I have a faith and I practice that faith on a daily basis. I'm a Christian and I regularly attend church and am an active member in that church.

I don't feel the need to justify my actions or what I do on this site.

Anyone who wishes to question me on this can do. But don't judge me. That's for Him upstairs only

My intention regarding my question is not to judge, but an effort to try and understand and therefore be more tolerant to what I beleive is a fundemental hypocrisy. It would be a shame if this thread is banned - that to me would show intolerance on a different level.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I find Aetheism a total oxymoron if I'm honest...to not beleive in any religion is, in itself, a belief.

As an Aetheist, not following any religious code, do you therefore shirk all moral obligations then?

Are you breaking your code of disbelief if you don't have sex with anyone and everyone??

No, I have my own code of moral obligations. I don't feel the need to have them dictated to me by any established religion.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 13/09/10 14:16:46]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I strongly believe that nature created me

Although what nature thinks created it I dont know lol xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't see why it should be so long as people answer the thread according to personnal _iews or experiences and don't start slagging off anyone or their religious _iews.

I cannot comment on the RC religion as I don't follow it and have no experience of it.

Your post raises a genuine point and asks genuine questions. I hope I've answered it honestly from my own _iews.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I've been waiting for this thread to come up and have been watching with interest the posts that have mention of religion in them.

I have a faith and I practice that faith on a daily basis. I'm a Christian and I regularly attend church and am an active member in that church.

I don't feel the need to justify my actions or what I do on this site.

Anyone who wishes to question me on this can do. But don't judge me. That's for Him upstairs only

"
are you married and if so does he know you are on this site???

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By *eviousLiasonsCouple
over a year ago

Travelling

"I find Aetheism a total oxymoron if I'm honest...to not beleive in any religion is, in itself, a belief.

As an Aetheist, not following any religious code, do you therefore shirk all moral obligations then?

Are you breaking your code of disbelief if you don't have sex with anyone and everyone??

Why does religion have a monopoly on morals? Surely a person can be moral and atheist at the same time? And even if they are amoral, why should they have to have sex with anyone and anyone? We would expect a totally amoral person to be totally self centred, would they not then restrict who they had sex with purely to people that they wished to have sex with? And "Atheism" means not believing in God, where as religion refers to any belief system, not just those that relate to a deific figure or figures.... so it is entirely possible to be religious and atheist if you wish to be. In fact, many Hindus are devout Atheists. And not believing in something does not force a person to believe in the direct opposite. The world is not black and white, and despite what your computer may tell you, there are infinately more shades of gray than 256.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The OP here says they have their own moral code. Are these morals different from what any religion teaches?

To have morals means that you agree with some religious teachings does it not?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I find Aetheism a total oxymoron if I'm honest...to not beleive in any religion is, in itself, a belief.

As an Aetheist, not following any religious code, do you therefore shirk all moral obligations then?

Are you breaking your code of disbelief if you don't have sex with anyone and everyone??

No, I have my own code of moral obligations. I don't feel the need to have them dictated to me by any established religion."

..and I imagine some of those codes are based upon the moral codes of conduct as established within the bible....it pre-dating many of our laws today and it being the cornerstone of many of our laws...like 'thou shalt not kill'. we are morally and legally obliged not to do this.

I, as have many, have been introduced to the bible through my school days and we had an excellent debate on how the bible is understandable the result of many different translations, each generation having it's interpretation of it, it is, in my _iew, a guidline and not a way of life.

the God, apparently, gave the Commandments...the rest, as I believe, is how they were interpretted and lived in those times...centuries ago.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No I'm not married. I was, but he couldn't tame me

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"The OP here says they have their own moral code. Are these morals different from what any religion teaches?

To have morals means that you agree with some religious teachings does it not?"

I see the similarity between my moral code and and the morality in religious teachings to be nothing more than a coincidence.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I find Aetheism a total oxymoron if I'm honest...to not beleive in any religion is, in itself, a belief.

As an Aetheist, not following any religious code, do you therefore shirk all moral obligations then?

Are you breaking your code of disbelief if you don't have sex with anyone and everyone??

I'm well aware that there are aetheist-jews and christians and other religions...so it is no more of a hypocrisy for them to enjoy their lives and bodies if they wish as it is the op's.

until there is a bible that recognises the changes in civilisation, there will be this confusion for followers of a religion if the teachings do not relate to how they are exected to live in society today.

for example, the bible will preach you to turn the other cheek when someone strikes you, yet we know in todays society, you could get killed doing that, so you will naturally protect yourself...this would not, in my _iew, make someone a hypocrite either.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Which is entirely your belief and I respect that.

Sparked a real debate here and so far not closed down!!! We'll all whisper!

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

Threads only get shut down or stopped when people have gone too far / insults flying around or like the last one to be removed involved racist comments or inciting racial hatred.

As long as this stays a debate it won't be shut down.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 13/09/10 14:37:55]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've always found that people who pick and choose with the rules of their religion are usually the ones who'll also pick and choose when to base their indignation or argument on a religious backing.

I really have no time for that kind of religion. For me, you follow your beliefs as they are dictated, or not at all.

If religion was meant to be pick n mix and at your discretion, then the first page of any Holy Book would read "Follow the bits you like, ok, and ignore the rest". But that's not religion, that's modifying your personal beliefs to suit your needs. To me that's like saying you respect only part of your religion.

But that's just me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

At present time, Due to a lack of irrefutable evidence categorically proving or disproving the existence of a God anyone closing their minds and maintaining an option to either conclusively believe or disbelieve seems to be relying heavily on nothing more than their faith in individual judgement rather than on pure scientific facts…. As facts are only the sum total of the best provable information available at any given time and faith is something which science at present can not provide a rationally definitive explanation for….. Sorry what was the question again…..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I find Aetheism a total oxymoron if I'm honest...to not beleive in any religion is, in itself, a belief.

Actually, to avoid this kind of thing, any knowledgeable atheist defines it in this kind of way:

"Atheism, in a broad sense, is the rejection of belief in the existence of deities.[1] In a narrower sense, atheism is specifically the position that there are no deities."

i.e. a rejection of belief.

But it can be a fine line!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Science can't tell me why the world exists but it's still here. So when it's proved we exist because of science and not religion that's when I'll make my choice. Until then, I'm on the religious bench.

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

I pray everytime I have a meet.

I pray I get it up, it stays up and I last..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Science can't tell me why the world exists but it's still here."

Ermm... I think science has very much proven the entire lifetime from formation to now and beyond of the world.

If you mean the Universe, then the only thing that science is still trying to prove is the time before the Planck epoch, and hopefully CERN will sort that out soon(ish)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"There have been a few threads on here of late that have had replies from people who purport to be religious and members of one of the major faiths – catholic, muslim, christian, etc.

People pick and choose from the menu of life over many things from eating habits, to social responsibilities and law’s

It is an interesting _iewpoint to look at thing from however It is put across in an a potentially inflammatory way. Many do not take the actual word and verse of the bible to the letter. After all there is only one bible but multiple faiths relating to it from Mormons, roman Catholics, Baptists etc. All interpreting things differently. RC’s are supposed to not use condoms but Anglicans can……its still the same god. Maybe you lack the understanding on religions being an atheist, maybe you misinterpreted some on here as being of a specific faith it is unclear. But swinging is about tolerance of others and it should not be about questioning others morals more a matter of accepting that others can be different to you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Almost everyone breaks some of thier religious rules because every "bibile" be it the Holy Bible, the Koran or any other are open to wide interpretation.

The Pope is currently denying that the Holocaust took place.

Where did he get the idea that condoms are wrong, I haven't heard it said that the bible says "Thous shalt not use condoms"

Why will he not let women be ordained into the church

Why does he not support the Gay community.

Because the Catholic church has interpreted the bible to say such things are wrong.

Yet it is ok to remain in the priesthood even if your a paedophile.

Extremeists take the bible to absolute stupid

In my opinion those who wanted to burn the Koran were extremists and got it wrong.

Muslims who think it's ok to kill people in the name of Allah are extremists.

Those who select a certain type of pebble when stoning a woman to death as these stones inflict more pain are extremists.

The Pope is an extremist

Jehovah's witnesses who will watch thier child die when a simple blood transfusion could save them are extremists.

The rest just follow religion in some form and hope by living thier lives in as humane way as possible will make them acceptable in the eyes of thier God and I see nothing wrong with that.

Question ye not the sins of the flesh acted out by swingers and question ye the mortal sins of man inflicted on others

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I stand corrected. I can't comment though as I have not done my research into such sciences.

As I've said previously, my faith is personnal to me. I've often been asked how I can believe in a God when there are so many bad things going on in the world.

My response to that has always been that I don't have the answers to those questions. I'm no expert, I'm no higher on the moral ladder than the next person. I just choose to believe.

If someone on this site says they choose to meet x, x or x they're told 'good for you it's your preferance, your choice'.

But when someone stands up and say's they believe in God, along come the facts and figures to throw my beliefs off balance. A little unfair I think.

However, despite all the science and whatever else you throw at me, my belief stands firm. Thank God for that!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I've been waiting for this thread to come up and have been watching with interest the posts that have mention of religion in them.

I have a faith and I practice that faith on a daily basis. I'm a Christian and I regularly attend church and am an active member in that church.

I don't feel the need to justify my actions or what I do on this site.

Anyone who wishes to question me on this can do. But don't judge me. That's for Him upstairs only

Sadly, the reason threads like this get pulled is there are certain posters that can't help themselves and only post on threads like this to promote their particular brand of poison.

I'm surprised they've contained themselves and this thread is still going.

That said, I haven't got to the end yet!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Here's a question...

Don't you hate it when an Atheist says

"oh my god" "for christs sake!" and so on!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I find Aetheism a total oxymoron if I'm honest...to not beleive in any religion is, in itself, a belief.

As an Aetheist, not following any religious code, do you therefore shirk all moral obligations then?

Are you breaking your code of disbelief if you don't have sex with anyone and everyone??

No, I have my own code of moral obligations. I don't feel the need to have them dictated to me by any established religion."

I was just about to post something similar. Just because you don't belong to a certain religion/belief doesn't mean that you cannot have morals.

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By *umourCouple
over a year ago

Rushden

"Almost everyone breaks some of thier religious rules because every "bibile" be it the Holy Bible, the Koran or any other are open to wide interpretation.

The Pope is currently denying that the Holocaust took place.

Where did he get the idea that condoms are wrong, I haven't heard it said that the bible says "Thous shalt not use condoms"

Why will he not let women be ordained into the church

Why does he not support the Gay community.

Because the Catholic church has interpreted the bible to say such things are wrong.

Yet it is ok to remain in the priesthood even if your a paedophile.

Extremeists take the bible to absolute stupid

In my opinion those who wanted to burn the Koran were extremists and got it wrong.

Muslims who think it's ok to kill people in the name of Allah are extremists.

Those who select a certain type of pebble when stoning a woman to death as these stones inflict more pain are extremists.

The Pope is an extremist

Jehovah's witnesses who will watch thier child die when a simple blood transfusion could save them are extremists.

The rest just follow religion in some form and hope by living thier lives in as humane way as possible will make them acceptable in the eyes of thier God and I see nothing wrong with that.

Question ye not the sins of the flesh acted out by swingers and question ye the mortal sins of man inflicted on others

Amen to that! Well written and spot on!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The OP here says they have their own moral code. Are these morals different from what any religion teaches?

To have morals means that you agree with some religious teachings does it not?"

I don't think so, no, I _iew that as a humane coincidence.

In the same way I don't close my eyes and walk out into the road - it doesn't mean I'm respecting the highway code, just that my _iew of this action happens to coincide with someone elses.

Morals don't have to be based in religion at all. Some are common sense, some are common decency, some are from societies eveolution over the years. Of course some may also have a basis in religion (example: thou shalt not covert thy neighbours wife) but, even on that one - it's highly likely that was around before Moses found it carved, right?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I too like to reflect on life's big questions such as religion. And also to reflect on how much I like your tits.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I too like to reflect on life's big questions such as religion. And also to reflect on how much I like your tits.

Good grief, you'd think this was some kind of sex site!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I follow my own religion.....me.

I am the one who makes my choices and the person who makes my mistakes as well.

I have to answer to myself before anyone else.

You cannot pick and choose which rules to follow and which ones you don't in religion as this is a lie to yourself and an to the religion. I wouldn't get in a boxing ring then think, let's just donwhat I want to do and not follow the rules set out and just kick the guy in the balls as I would be disqualifed and kicked out the ring. If you believe something you should follow it full hearted give it your best shot . There are guidelines there for a purpose.

If you can bend rules to your advantage then I believe that's an open Invite to all including relious ones.

Great thread tho.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As said before, there is no God I worship but I am very interested in theology, if only to confirm that the beliefs I hold are correct.

Last night I watched a film called The Invention of Lying, starring Ricky Gervais, and although I'm no big fan of his I remember thinking, "hmmm, if anyone needs to understand how religion came about, they should watch this film."

The film is set in a world where nobody ever tells a lie. Except for Ricky Gervais. And everything he says is instantly believed without question. And he invented The Man in the Sky who says what's what, and everyone believed him, blindly.

What struck me most though, was that this would be a pretty shitty world if nobody ever told a porky. And as a race we wouldn't have lasted very long if everytime you spoke to someone they told you exactly what they thought of you - because they couldn't tell a lie.

So, back to the OP: Do some people pick bits out of their religion that suit them?

Of course not.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

we are all going to burn in hell, so lets enjoy it till we do

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Great movie, Invention of Lieing.

Ok, question, serious one:

If a religious person feels it is ok to pick and choose from their religion, is that not basically saying it is ok for others to do the same, something which gives rise to everything from the IRA to Sept 11th?

After all, at it's most basic it is both parties interpreting the religion in a way that suits them best?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"As said before, there is no God I worship but I am very interested in theology, if only to confirm that the beliefs I hold are correct.

So, back to the OP: Do some people pick bits out of their religion that suit them?

Of course not.

"
nwatched that film is was really good. Fun story line and very funny. I did think that when I first looked at this thread. Well I know which person 41niteonly is.

But then again who wouldn't want to be that be in his situation lol.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Great movie, Invention of Lieing.

Ok, question, serious one:

After all, at it's most basic it is both parties interpreting the religion in a way that suits them best?"

There's the confusion though. The 'Troubles' and 9/11 were perpetrated by people using religion as a smokescreen. They couldn't possibly be the committed Christians/Muslims that they upheld themselves to be or they wouldn't have done what they did. This applies to the Crusdaders, Salahadin, The Inquisition, in fact, ANY systematic slaughter of human beings in the name of one God or another.

Onward Christian Soldiers?

Strange choice of words for a peaceful religion, and what about wars fought whereby rape of conquered women was actively encouraged to breed religion into a society?

Doesn't that go against the 1 man - 1 woman rule?

And what's all this about 72 virgins in heaven for followers of Islam? You'd think their long suffering wives would have something to say about that, wouldn't you?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The way i look at it, if you believe there is a god then there is a god, if you don't believe there's a god then there isn't. Personally i don't believe but if you do then that's your choice. Gary

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Great movie, Invention of Lieing.

Ok, question, serious one:

After all, at it's most basic it is both parties interpreting the religion in a way that suits them best?"

is war moral or immoral or amoral? that would seem to depend on one's perspective. I don't practise any religion but i would still like to think that i have an inherent sense of what's right and wrong. science flies you to the moon, religion (for some at least) flies you into buildings

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

well i dont believe in any god, so im not going to hell

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"well i dont believe in any god, so im not going to hell

unless of course we're both wrong. in which case we are lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The last twist of the ironic knife.

Stood before the pearly gates watching St Peter waving all the time wasters through

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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

"I've been waiting for this thread to come up and have been watching with interest the posts that have mention of religion in them.

I have a faith and I practice that faith on a daily basis. I'm a Christian and I regularly attend church and am an active member in that church.

I don't feel the need to justify my actions or what I do on this site.

Anyone who wishes to question me on this can do. But don't judge me. That's for Him upstairs only

"
Well said that lady!! xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"science flies you to the moon, religion (for some at least) flies you into buildings"

Fantastic line, there.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

my body is my temple and i prey for women

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"my body is my temple and i prey for women"

god hopes you meant 'pray'

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What I'd really like to know is why, when asked "Are you the son of God?" it never occured to Jesus to say, "What, you kidding! No fookin way!"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"well i dont believe in any god, so im not going to hell

unless of course we're both wrong. in which case we are lol

see you there then

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's the whole concept of hell that really makes me laugh regarding religion..

Religious Zealot: "Oi! You gonna join or what?"

Non-believer: "Nah, loada bollox, mate."

Religious Zealot: "If you don't join, you're going to burn in hell for all eternity."

Non-believer: "Oh, that's very fucking Christian of you!"

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

I am so glad someone put this thread up. I am not religous mainly because im not a hypocrite and dont fit into any said boxes. If someone says/chooses to follow a religion what ever that religion may be then they should follow it and not pick and choose which of that religion's laws to follow. Having said that it really is up to them how they are going to justify their lifestyle to their maker when they meet him.

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By (user no longer on site)
Forum Mod
over a year ago

"It's the whole concept of hell that really makes me laugh regarding religion..

Religious Zealot: "Oi! You gonna join or what?"

Non-believer: "Nah, loada bollox, mate."

Religious Zealot: "If you don't join, you're going to burn in hell for all eternity."

Non-believer: "Oh, that's very fucking Christian of you!"

I stay out of these threads normally but that has really made me giggle

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"It's the whole concept of hell that really makes me laugh regarding religion..

Religious Zealot: "Oi! You gonna join or what?"

Non-believer: "Nah, loada bollox, mate."

Religious Zealot: "If you don't join, you're going to burn in hell for all eternity."

Non-believer: "Oh, that's very fucking Christian of you!"

All the major religions originally worked on a threat/reward basis and were mainly formed to provide a legal framework within a group of people. I find it interesting that tribes discovered in remote areas of the world who have never heard of Allah, Yahweh, Buddha etc have previously formed their own moral codes which are very similar to those laid out in various religious texts, and in some cases, pre-date those texts. But a little bullying soon changed all that, and down on their knees they went!

Thank you all for keeping this discussion (relatively!) anger/sarcasm-free, I'm enjoying reading fellow swingers _iews.

Here's a little brain teaser - first one with the right answer gets a peanut.

Who cut Samson's hair?

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By *atisfy janeWoman
over a year ago

Torquay

Lee Stafford?

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

"It's the whole concept of hell that really makes me laugh regarding religion..

Religious Zealot: "Oi! You gonna join or what?"

Non-believer: "Nah, loada bollox, mate."

Religious Zealot: "If you don't join, you're going to burn in hell for all eternity."

Non-believer: "Oh, that's very fucking Christian of you!"

Thank you all for keeping this discussion (relatively!) anger/sarcasm-free, I'm enjoying reading fellow swingers _iews.

Here's a little brain teaser - first one with the right answer gets a peanut.

Who cut Samson's hair?"

Didnt deliah get some guy round to do it. I know that it was a myth that deliah cut it

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By *atisfy janeWoman
over a year ago

Torquay

I think if individuals get comfort from religion then good for them.....me?, I get comfort from Sex, Chocolate and the Beach.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 13/09/10 17:47:50]

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By *ushroom7Man
over a year ago

Bradford

Am i the first poster to say that the "Missionary" position leaves a lot to be desired?

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By *ushroom7Man
over a year ago

Bradford

Party here,Thursday night 19.00 till late.

ps no witnesses.

Heaven or hell? You decide.

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By *ushroom7Man
over a year ago

Bradford

"my body is my temple and i prey for women"

A typo by any chance?

pray

prey

might just make a differnce.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"As said before, there is no God I worship but I am very interested in theology, if only to confirm that the beliefs I hold are correct.

So, back to the OP: Do some people pick bits out of their religion that suit them?

Of course not.

nwatched that film is was really good. Fun story line and very funny. I did think that when I first looked at this thread. Well I know which person 41niteonly is.

But then again who wouldn't want to be that be in his situation lol."

Objection.

My reply has been sent personnally to the above as quite frankly this is too good a thread to spoil.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I was raised in a very religious household: EVERYTHING was a sin. When I have a naked shackled man kneeling at my altar I have been known to get the holy spirit and shout "oh God", but that's as religious as I get these days!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"science flies you to the moon, religion (for some at least) flies you into buildings

Fantastic line, there."

I thought it was a very poor analogy

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By *oDownEasyMan
over a year ago

Ayrshire

"Here's a little brain teaser - first one with the right answer gets a peanut.

Who cut Samson's hair?"

Vidal Sassoon? He's old enough!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A 1000 years ago most of us would be killed for uttering anything said on this thread, 200 years ago at least jailed or locked in a madhouse, 80 years ago seriously frowned upon, 20 years ago a fair amount of agreement. What will be the reaction 100, 500, 1000 years from now? The wonderful thing about human beings is that we test boundaries, the constant testing and challenging of those boundaries - we choose to call progress, as we progress and learn beliefs are replaced by facts. The world is not flat. I would not class myself as being religious, but I choose to believe there are some universal 'rules' that make it possible to co-exist and will stand the test of time, afterall Tigers don't eat each other do they? I just don't believe this lifestyle is a threat to any of those rules. I think people can follow a religion but test the boundaries of that religion thereby progressing it without necessarily being hypocrites. I wager that swinging will have changed less in 1000 yrs than many religious beliefs.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hallelujah! And the truth shall set you free!

Nice post.

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By *oDownEasyMan
over a year ago

Ayrshire

If today's christians lived by the moral code of the bible, then they would happily see their children enslaved,thrown to an angry mob,killed for being gay,stoned to death,burtnt at the stake,killed for cursing,turn away the blind & lame ,and so on;the list is endless.

"But",they say, "the bible is only an allegory, it isnt meant to be taken literally." But what bits are to be taken as read, and which are not? For THAT you cant rely on the bible(obviously) but on your *own* moral code. So if you do that, who *needs* the bible after all? Therefore any restrictions on the lifestyle are pretty much you own.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I went out with a muslim for three years. turkish .

He drank . loved sex when ever and would take advantage of any freebies going his way regardless off whom.and eat thru ramadan .

He also told me of the ways of getting sex in the villages with the young virgins prior to marriage. (ANAL) OR with local donkey

The only time he did anything different was one day at around 2pm in ramadan.

He or should i say we....

Were in the middle of sex when he heard the imam calling them to pray.

He suddenly stopped midflow and started praying while im lying there wondering "wtf"

Imam stops and he then carries on like nowts happened. lmao

Everyone around the world uses religion when it suits.

And everyone interprets it to their own personal beliefs.

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By *atisfy janeWoman
over a year ago

Torquay

Like John Lennon famously penned....

"Whatever gets you through the night......."

I think if religion helps to get some people through life then I am made up for them, I suppose we all need something to hold on to.....in my case it's a cock.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Like John Lennon famously penned....

"Whatever gets you through the night......."

I think if religion helps to get some people through life then I am made up for them, I suppose we all need something to hold on to.....in my case it's a cock."

Oh mines the bannister

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By *ensualfire88Man
over a year ago

Edinburgh

[Removed by poster at 13/09/10 20:00:23]

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By *ensualfire88Man
over a year ago

Edinburgh

"Like John Lennon famously penned....

"Whatever gets you through the night......."

I think if religion helps to get some people through life then I am made up for them, I suppose we all need something to hold on to.....in my case it's a cock.

Oh mines the bannister

Funnily enough. my cock is named "bannister".

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I wonder how many atheists have stood in a church and taken the vow of marriage or had a child christened or buried someone.....does that make them a hypocrite? How many atheists in moments of pleasure or grief have called out to God? Is that hypocrisy? Wonder how many atheist, upon seeing a man protect his Christian family from violence would call "hypocrite! Turn the other cheek".

You do not sign a contract or take vow when picking up a bible. They are not cheating on anything...its between them and their God to judge how they live their life.....not the occupants of this site

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By *ushroom7Man
over a year ago

Bradford

Nor the occupants of interplanetary quite extraordinary craft.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Nor the occupants of interplanetary quite extraordinary craft."

Some carpenter said that.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Nor the occupants of interplanetary quite extraordinary craft.

Some carpenter said that.

Joseph?

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By *ushroom7Man
over a year ago

Bradford

As and he trod on the rake in the darkened barn, which swung up and smacked him square in the face he shouted "Jesus."

"Well, that's a nice name but we were gonna call him Brian."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A smurf spoke to me today .....

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By *etillanteWoman
over a year ago

As and he trod on the rake in the darkened barn, which swung up and smacked him square in the face he shouted "Jesus."

"Well, that's a nice name but we were gonna call him Brian.""

He is not the Messiah, he is a very naughty boy

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As and he trod on the rake in the darkened barn, which swung up and smacked him square in the face he shouted "Jesus."

"Well, that's a nice name but we were gonna call him Brian.""

"So, what is he then?"

"He is the Son of God, the King of the Jews!"

"And that's Sagittarius is it?"

"No, no, no, that's just Him!"

"Ah well that's alright then, else there'd be a lot of em, wouldn't there.

Well, thanks for the Gold and the Francinsense, not so much of the Myhrr next time, ok."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I am so glad someone put this thread up. I am not religous mainly because im not a hypocrite and dont fit into any said boxes. If someone says/chooses to follow a religion what ever that religion may be then they should follow it and not pick and choose which of that religion's laws to follow. Having said that it really is up to them how they are going to justify their lifestyle to their maker when they meet him."
You fit into an inbox when messaging

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have my own code of moral obligations. I don't feel the need to have them dictated to me by any established religion."

Seconding this 100 % - no need to have any institution tell me what to think, believe or indeed sanction/ reward my actions. I think - therefore I am and I also make my decisions based on my own moral code.

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By *ensualfire88Man
over a year ago

Edinburgh

"...its between them and their God to judge how they live their life.....not the occupants of this site"

You're new here then?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I am an Agnostic.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"There have been a few threads on here of late that have had replies from people who purport to be religious and members of one of the major faiths – catholic, muslim, christian, etc.

Meant to say earlier - what a brilliant idea for a very interesting and diverse thread. Thank you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

religion like technology confuses me!!

i wasnt christened as i was born out of wedlock and my family 1/2 of them boycotted the local church.

one 1/2 is devout catholic, the other half devout protestant (its funny when they start arguing honestly)

i didnt have religous education at school as my mum removed me for it and said extra maths would be better!!

(she will suffer for that when its nursing home time i can assure u!!)

religion does nothin for me i believe there is an afterlife but no sure about this big dude in the sky but can understand how people get comfort from it but i cant for the life of me understand why some of both sides of the family committed terrorist acts all in the name of the same god but with the idea that their version of him was better than the other!! the bigotry in my family is rife, and i take nothin to do with it. when im in times of trouble i pray to any god whether it be god, allah, buddah, gnish or bloody ikea anyone who will help me get through that moment!! x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"religion like technology confuses me!!

i wasnt christened as i was born out of wedlock and my family 1/2 of them boycotted the local church.

one 1/2 is devout catholic, the other half devout protestant (its funny when they start arguing honestly)

i didnt have religous education at school as my mum removed me for it and said extra maths would be better!!

(she will suffer for that when its nursing home time i can assure u!!)

You always manage to say what I mean, only it comes out more clearly when you say it...

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By *ig badMan
over a year ago

Up North :-)

I thought you prayed at the church of Mallet

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By *ushroom7Man
over a year ago

Bradford

I am an agnostic dyslexic insomniac.

I stay up all night wondering if there really is a dog.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I am an agnostic dyslexic insomniac.

I stay up all night wondering if there really is a dog."
Did we not address this issue ... and found it benign rather than canine?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

He said. If you say you saw me and we spoke -the forumites will cast you out act as if you are not there....and lo ......

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well this is a very good one

I myself was brought up as a Roman Catholic i was christened i took my holy communion and i was confirmed.I went too church evry sunday until i was 8 then i decided that i didnt want to go. My parents were mortified and tried to make me go but as i was tucked under the bed and out of harms way i won. MY parents approached the parish priest to ask if they should force me he said no that when i was ready or needed the church that it would always be there.

As regards too the 10 Commandments i have prob broke all of them at sometime in my life the worst being thou shalt not kill. Serving in the rmed forces helped me break that one. I asked my padre what god would think of me doing that his reply was kind of strange for a man of the cloth he said god would understand and too this day that still kind of freaks me. I have my faith and thats what i believe in i suppose its evryones choice in what they do. I still go to confession twice a year which i then confess my sins and have given too me a form of punishment acts of contrition etc etc. as regards to Pope Benidict who is the chosen leader of my faith denying the holocaust i cant comment on that what i do know is that he served during ww2 as a member of the hitler jugend or hitler youth which did raise a few eye brows.His predecesor Pope John Paul the second was a moderate pope and when selected was one of the youngest he was a moderate pope who did his utmost too bring the catholic faith into a new era which i think he did. Unfortunately the present pope wants to go back to the old ways of the church which i think will damage it but regardless of who is my faiths leader its a faith i believe in and if im classed as a hypocrite for my _iews and for being on here then so be it. On a lighter note most swingers are believers how many times in a club or on a meet or in a party do you hear OH GOD YES YES so he cant be all that bad now can he .At the end of the day though as i said earlier we all interprte our live our lives as we want too why change that i know im not going too if im commiting a sin then its a little one not a big one there is only one sin i wouldnt break and that is a mortal sin and when the priest told you that when you were little you listened lol Now im gonna be in trouble lol

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By *nvictusMan
over a year ago

Beeston

Interesting post!

The only thing I would add is that morals are not necessarily linked to a faith. In fact the word morals comes from late Middle English: from Latin moralis, from mos, mor- ‘custom.’

So morals are often more based upon the society they are found in, it's customs and practices as defined by centuries of culture. They are regularly 're-interpreted' by the latest generation. Often, moral standards in some countries may seem totally alien to our own, without being linked to any faith.

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

I am a great believer in that my "religion" is my own.... therefore my religion my rules as such... as long as it is within my morals which is guilded by my parents and those around me.... the only people I have to answer to is myself and the person up above.....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

" the only people I have to answer to is myself and the person up above.....

So you do believe then?

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By *nvictusMan
over a year ago

Beeston

'the person up above'

not me I assume!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

7 Numbers 22:28-30 Gods lawyers will be contacting the Shrek people

"Balaam's anger was kindled, and he struck the donkey with his staff. Then the Lord opened the mouth of the donkey, and it said to Balaam, 'What have I done to you, that you have struck me these three times?"

Its seems almost churlish to complain about the bible having a talking donkey. By this point its already mentioned unicorns and dragons so why not a talking donkey? A talking fucking donkey. But God! You created the sun the moon and the stars.....you constructed billions and billions of nuclear furnaces swirling in the universe and yet you chose to announce yourself in the form of a combustible shrub. Either you have the worst public relations officer ever or the bible is just made up gibberish from a primitive time. Best fire that P.R. guy.

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By *nvictusMan
over a year ago

Beeston

FSM for me everytime!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"FSM for me everytime!

i did double check..no flying spaghetti monster mentioned

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By *nvictusMan
over a year ago

Beeston

Now you have been touched by his noodley appendage...

He appeared on an episode of Futurama recently - worth looking at on Youtube

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By *eakcoupleCouple
over a year ago

peak district

We are Pagans (practicing pagans, not in the sense that christian or mohammedans mean = "non religious"). We don't believe in holy books, prophets, commandments, one almighty god, the devil or hell.

We do have principles to guide us, such as 'do what you will, as long as it harms no-one' and the belief that any harm we do will come back to us threefold.

We do believe that we should celebrate all that life and this Earth has to offer us, and that includes sexual enjoyment.

Any god that gives you sexual desires then punishes you for following them is best avoided, as are his priests, imams etc. Our gods and goddesses are more reasonable!

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

" the only people I have to answer to is myself and the person up above.....

So you do believe then?"

I suppose i do.... in the sense that as long as i give 100% in anything I do I know that I'll be looked after

its a odd one for me.... religion... being born in "bible belt" and going thru every sunday watching preacher after preacher on TV, that does nothing for me... so I just took the best parts of it for me .....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

the bible seems to be a bit like a software agreement. most people tend not to read it,they just scroll to the bottom and click 'I agree'

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By *nvictusMan
over a year ago

Beeston

I can relate to that Peakcouple. Most Pagan/Heathen faiths even acknowledge humans sexual urges with suitable gods or goddesses. Makes perfect sense really.

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By *nvictusMan
over a year ago

Beeston

Nice Thor's hammer tattoo too Peakcouple!

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By *ensualfire88Man
over a year ago

Edinburgh

"the bible seems to be a bit like a software agreement. most people tend not to read it,they just scroll to the bottom and click 'I agree'"

And, a bit like a software agreement - if they actually READ the terms & conditions, or thought they were enforcable, they wouldnt have clicked so fast.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"the bible seems to be a bit like a software agreement. most people tend not to read it,they just scroll to the bottom and click 'I agree'

And, a bit like a software agreement - if they actually READ the terms & conditions, or thought they were enforcable, they wouldnt have clicked so fast."

By the time they learn to read it’s normally to late

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

“I think on the seventh day, God was running around, going, “Oh, my God! What haven’t I…? Rwanda! I better create Rwanda! Sorry, haven’t quite done that… The Tower of Pisa! Oh, it’s leaning… Oh, shi… done! Toilets in French camping sites… there we go. English football hooligans… there we go, whatever that is… Mrs. Thatcher’s heart… there we go… oh, fuck that! I know, I’ll put a stone in, that’ll work! There we go…”

The next week, I think, people are coming back, going,

“Rwanda doesn’t work very well; infrastructure’s fucked.””

Eddie Izzard

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By *uckscouple2007Couple
over a year ago

Bucks

my late mother used to help out a wealthy north london jewish family when they had dinner parties ...

lost count how many times she expressed how surprised she was at how often they served Pork on such evenings, especially when so many other Jews there

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By *aucy3Couple
over a year ago

glasgow

not being religious.i think the rules of common sense,and conscience.are enough,to keep people on the right track.as long as you are doing nobody else any harm.everything else is up to you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Someone once said that churches have stained glass windows to stop the cynics staring in at the hypocrites!!!

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By *ushroom7Man
over a year ago

Bradford

bump

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

An experience today has had me questioing whether there really is something to God and an afterlife after all.

My sister and brother-in-law were visiting us Monday and went home last night but I didn't know that my bro-in-law has a 'spirit guide' who is with him almost 100% of the time. I laughed it off but my sister confirmed dozens of incidents that logic couldn't explain. He 'sees' things.

Later he asked me what I knew about our house and I said not much as I've only been here three years. He then said, "See if you can find out about a man call 'Bill' or 'William' who lived here not long after the house was built (c.1920), and when I asked why he replied, "He walks about from the dining room to the living room but never across it, always up and down. He's here now, walking and smiling."

Freaky huh.

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By (user no longer on site)
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Oh now thats nice innit? scare the crap out of you and the sod off home leaving with you with ghost thoughts

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"An experience today has had me questioing whether there really is something to God and an afterlife after all.

Freaky huh.

Oooooh - curious! Are you going to check out Bill? I'd love to know! I don't really beleive in ghosts or "souls" in a religious sense, but I do believe that humans with strong personalities leave behind a kind of temporary echo.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Oooooh - curious! Are you going to check out Bill? I'd love to know! I don't really beleive in ghosts or "souls" in a religious sense, but I do believe that humans with strong personalities leave behind a kind of temporary echo."

Our house wasn't built by the time of the 1911 Census so he won't appear on there and the 1921 Census won't be available for another 10 years. I'll have to go down to the library tomorrow to see what records they hold, or, failing that, spend an afternoon at the county records office have a dig around. I'm too curious to let it rest though. Haven't told Siren, it would totally freak her out and if she knew a spook was ambling around the place. For sure, I'd never get another BJ while we are here and all swinging would probably stop if she thought our ghostly pal was getting his rocks off watching her being shafted by a couple of guys lol

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By *ngieandMrManCouple
over a year ago

hereford

Can’t remember the name of the comedian but I’ve never forgotten the gag....

When I was a small boy I always wanted a new bike, birthday came and went with no new bike, Christmas came and went with no new bike. So I thought I’d give religion a try and so leading up to my birthday I prayed and prayed for a new bike... Guess what? Still no new bike! Then on the lead up to Christmas I tried again, I prayed and prayed so hard for a new bike but once again no luck. Then after Christmas I finally got this religion lark sussed out... I went out and stole a bike and then prayed for forgiveness

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Science can't tell me why the world exists but it's still here.

Ermm... I think science has very much proven the entire lifetime from formation to now and beyond of the world.

If you mean the Universe, then the only thing that science is still trying to prove is the time before the Planck epoch, and hopefully CERN will sort that out soon(ish)"

and then they will have to look at the time before that and .....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I am a great believer in that my "religion" is my own.... therefore my religion my rules as such... as long as it is within my morals which is guilded by my parents and those around me.... the only people I have to answer to is myself and the person up above.....

"Person"??? bit subjective. Prefer to think of "crative force" mesle.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Person"??? bit subjective. Prefer to think of "crative force" mesle."

see myself as being 'well in credit' with any man above as I've led a far better life than many tossers in this world. I've never hurt anyone and never stole anything. I'm as honest as the day is long and have compassion for those more unfortunate than myself. I've nothing to be scared of and as I have no plans to change my moral code from what it is, I'll not worry too much about being 'judged' when or if the time comes.

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By *ensualfire88Man
over a year ago

Edinburgh

"Person"??? bit subjective. Prefer to think of "crative force" mesle.

Let me know how you get on with explaining to God that all the extra marital-sex you've had isnt actually extra-marital sex...

...I'm fairy sure they have quite a definitive line on that.

(but if i see the Pope when he's in Edinburgh tomorrow i'll ask him what his thoughts are, what with him being Gods representative on earth etc etc)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Let me know how you get on with explaining to God that all the extra marital-sex you've had isnt actually extra-marital sex...

...I'm fairy sure they have quite a definitive line on that.

(but if i see the Pope when he's in Edinburgh tomorrow i'll ask him what his thoughts are, what with him being Gods representative on earth etc etc)

Simples. I'll just inform 'God' that it's his fault.

When he made us he could have put sa simple bit of code in us that 'activated' when we first mated with someone. This genetic programming could make us sort of like swans, who mate with one other swan for life. If he did it for them why not for us. So bollox to him, he can't blame us for his own fuck ups.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We need to merge this thread with the UFOs one

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By *ensualfire88Man
over a year ago

Edinburgh

"Let me know how you get on with explaining to God that all the extra marital-sex you've had isnt actually extra-marital sex...

...I'm fairy sure they have quite a definitive line on that.

(but if i see the Pope when he's in Edinburgh tomorrow i'll ask him what his thoughts are, what with him being Gods representative on earth etc etc)

Simples. I'll just inform 'God' that it's his fault.

Hmmm. Let me know how that one works out for you...

Wishy - "Hi, God. This is all your fuck up."

God (whispering to St Peter) "Who the fuck is THIS joker?"

St Peter - "Ah yes, erm seems to have been a bit of a snafu on the paperwork...but Mr Wishy was MOST insistent he speak to you..."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hmmm. Let me know how that one works out for you...

Wishy - "Hi, God. This is all your fuck up."

God (whispering to St Peter) "Who the fuck is THIS joker?"

St Peter - "Ah yes, erm seems to have been a bit of a snafu on the paperwork...but Mr Wishy was MOST insistent he speak to you..."

I think it'll be more of a case of me getting 'up there' and having a one sentence 'chat' with God.

"Oi! You! Out my feckin chair!"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Enough of this "devil-may-care" attitude. tut

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By *ensualfire88Man
over a year ago

Edinburgh

Hmmm. Let me know how that one works out for you...

Wishy - "Hi, God. This is all your fuck up."

God (whispering to St Peter) "Who the fuck is THIS joker?"

St Peter - "Ah yes, erm seems to have been a bit of a snafu on the paperwork...but Mr Wishy was MOST insistent he speak to you..."

I think it'll be more of a case of me getting 'up there' and having a one sentence 'chat' with God.

"Oi! You! Out my feckin chair!"

I would give ANYTHING to be there!

(So you admit you think you're God then??)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hmmm. Let me know how that one works out for you...

Wishy - "Hi, God. This is all your fuck up."

God (whispering to St Peter) "Who the fuck is THIS joker?"

St Peter - "Ah yes, erm seems to have been a bit of a snafu on the paperwork...but Mr Wishy was MOST insistent he speak to you..."

I think it'll be more of a case of me getting 'up there' and having a one sentence 'chat' with God.

"Oi! You! Out my feckin chair!"

I would give ANYTHING to be there!

(So you admit you think you're God then??)

naaaa he's just got a more comfortable chair

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hmmm. Let me know how that one works out for you...

Wishy - "Hi, God. This is all your fuck up."

God (whispering to St Peter) "Who the fuck is THIS joker?"

St Peter - "Ah yes, erm seems to have been a bit of a snafu on the paperwork...but Mr Wishy was MOST insistent he speak to you..."

I think it'll be more of a case of me getting 'up there' and having a one sentence 'chat' with God.

"Oi! You! Out my feckin chair!"

I would give ANYTHING to be there!

(So you admit you think you're God then??)

Well my first wife and I split up on religious grounds - I thought I was God and she didn't.

...if we all supposedly children of God doesn't that give us divinity?

So to answer your question: Yes, I am a God... and so are you.

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By *ensualfire88Man
over a year ago

Edinburgh

Hmmm. Let me know how that one works out for you...

Wishy - "Hi, God. This is all your fuck up."

God (whispering to St Peter) "Who the fuck is THIS joker?"

St Peter - "Ah yes, erm seems to have been a bit of a snafu on the paperwork...but Mr Wishy was MOST insistent he speak to you..."

I think it'll be more of a case of me getting 'up there' and having a one sentence 'chat' with God.

"Oi! You! Out my feckin chair!"

I would give ANYTHING to be there!

(So you admit you think you're God then??)

Well my first wife and I split up on religious grounds - I thought I was God and she didn't.

...if we all supposedly children of God doesn't that give us divinity?

So to answer your question: Yes, I am a God... and so are you.

Fine.

Let me know when tickets are available for your conversation with "the man".

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

and what if it's a woman? still want tickets?

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By *ensualfire88Man
over a year ago

Edinburgh

"and what if it's a woman? still want tickets?

I'll pay DOUBLE if it's a woman, just to see the look on his face!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"and what if it's a woman? still want tickets?

I'll pay DOUBLE if it's a woman, just to see the look on his face!

If it's a woman, I'll adjust my speil to say, "Oi! You! Out my feckin chair and bend over."

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By *ensualfire88Man
over a year ago

Edinburgh

"and what if it's a woman? still want tickets?

I'll pay DOUBLE if it's a woman, just to see the look on his face!

If it's a woman, I'll adjust my speil to say, "Oi! You! Out my feckin chair and bend over."

You might as well to be honest. It's not like you could be in any MORE trouble for that!!

(i want a seat facing you, so i see the dude in the cape with the scythe entering stage left you and mouthing "ssshhh" to the audience - it'll be better than Panto!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"and what if it's a woman? still want tickets?

I'll pay DOUBLE if it's a woman, just to see the look on his face!

If it's a woman, I'll adjust my speil to say, "Oi! You! Out my feckin chair and bend over."

You might as well to be honest. It's not like you could be in any MORE trouble for that!!

(i want a seat facing you, so i see the dude in the cape with the scythe entering stage left you and mouthing "ssshhh" to the audience - it'll be better than Panto!

I'm looking forward to it. Got me Everlasting Endless Tub of Popcorn with a bottomless cup of Cola. Settle back and watch God try and wriggle out of the bullshit he's responsible for, and right when he thinks he's got himself of the hook I'll play my wildcard and ask him how billions of human beings came to exist if we're all descended from Adam and Eve and one of his commandments is 'Thou shalt not lay with thy mother or thy sister'.

Will be fun to watch the smarmy git try and explain that one away.

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By *ensualfire88Man
over a year ago

Edinburgh

"and what if it's a woman? still want tickets?

I'll pay DOUBLE if it's a woman, just to see the look on his face!

If it's a woman, I'll adjust my speil to say, "Oi! You! Out my feckin chair and bend over."

You might as well to be honest. It's not like you could be in any MORE trouble for that!!

(i want a seat facing you, so i see the dude in the cape with the scythe entering stage left you and mouthing "ssshhh" to the audience - it'll be better than Panto!

Will be fun to watch the smarmy git try and explain that one away."

Sir,

I admire your indefagetability.

But you are SO fucked having that conversation with the almighty.

You'll still be arguing the toss as Lucifer drags you off, whispering to god angrily "you OWE me for taking this one, he's going to be insufferable"...!!

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By *eorge17Man
over a year ago

Leven

"and what if it's a woman? still want tickets?

I'll pay DOUBLE if it's a woman, just to see the look on his face!

If it's a woman, I'll adjust my speil to say, "Oi! You! Out my feckin chair and bend over."

You might as well to be honest. It's not like you could be in any MORE trouble for that!!

(i want a seat facing you, so i see the dude in the cape with the scythe entering stage left you and mouthing "ssshhh" to the audience - it'll be better than Panto!

Will be fun to watch the smarmy git try and explain that one away."

Is that one of the Commandments?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I guess everyone has heard about the dyslexic agnostic insomniac,,, who stayed awake all night wondering whether or not there is a dog !!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Sir,

I admire your indefagetability.

But you are SO fucked having that conversation with the almighty.

You'll still be arguing the toss as Lucifer drags you off, whispering to god angrily "you OWE me for taking this one, he's going to be insufferable"...!!

It's a bit of a paradox though isn't it.

You're assuming I'm going to be dragged off to a place that I believe doesn't exist, by a henious entity that is nothing more than a figment of man's imagination.

If you believe in Gad, Satan, Heaven & Hell then that's your beliefs and you are welcome to them, but they are not mine. So you go to your afterlife and I'll sleep soundly on in mine blissfully unaware of anything having happened or ever happening.

And that's the real beauty about religion, it cannot be proved nor disproved until one is dead and by that time it's either too late to do anything about it or warn anyone else to do the same.

I'm looking forward to eternity with much anticipation - or not, as the case may be.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

* edit God.. grrr

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"and what if it's a woman? still want tickets?

I'll pay DOUBLE if it's a woman, just to see the look on his face!

If it's a woman, I'll adjust my speil to say, "Oi! You! Out my feckin chair and bend over."

You might as well to be honest. It's not like you could be in any MORE trouble for that!!

(i want a seat facing you, so i see the dude in the cape with the scythe entering stage left you and mouthing "ssshhh" to the audience - it'll be better than Panto!

Will be fun to watch the smarmy git try and explain that one away.

Is that one of the Commandments?"

It's not one of the Ten Commandments as handed to Moses on Mount Sinai, but those 10 commandments were a reinforcement of the Laws God passed to the Israelites at the time of the Creation.

God's Law of Morality, as detailed in Leviticus Ch. 18, encapsulated many more commandments to do with sex than the brief commandment in Moses' 10 laws: Thou shall not covet thy neighbour's wife.

Leviticus predates Moses/Sinai and forbids almost any form of sex outside of marriage:

18:6 None of you shall approach to any that is near of kin to him, to uncover their nakedness.

18:7 The nakedness of thy father, or the nakedness of thy mother, shalt thou not uncover: she is thy mother; thou shalt not uncover her nakedness.

18:8 The nakedness of thy father's wife shalt thou not uncover: it is thy father's nakedness.

18:9 The nakedness of thy sister, the daughter of thy father, or daughter of thy mother, whether she be born at home, or born abroad, even their nakedness thou shalt not uncover.

18:10 The nakedness of thy son's daughter, or of thy daughter's daughter, even their nakedness thou shalt not uncover: for theirs is thine own nakedness.

18:11 The nakedness of thy father's wife's daughter, begotten of thy father, she is thy sister, thou shalt not uncover her nakedness.

18:12 Thou shalt not uncover the nakedness of thy father's sister: she is thy father's near kinswoman.

18:13 Thou shalt not uncover the nakedness of thy mother's sister; for she is thy mother's near kinswoman.

18:14 Thou shalt not uncover the nakedness of thy father's brother, thou shalt not approach to his wife: she is thine aunt.

18:15 Thou shalt not uncover the nakedness of thy daughter in law: she is thy son's wife; thou shalt not uncover her nakedness.

18:16 Thou shalt not uncover the nakedness of thy brother's wife: it is thy brother's nakedness.

18:17 Thou shalt not uncover the nakedness of a woman and her daughter, neither shalt thou take her son's daughter, or her daughter's daughter, to uncover her nakedness; for they are her near kinswomen: it is wickedness.

18:18 Neither shalt thou take a wife to her sister, to vex her, to uncover her nakedness, beside the other in her life time.

18:19 Also thou shalt not approach unto a woman to uncover her nakedness, as long as she is put apart for her uncleanness.

18:20 Moreover thou shalt not lie carnally with thy neighbour's wife, to defile thyself with her.

18:21 And thou shalt not let any of thy seed pass through the fire to Molech, neither shalt thou profane the name of thy God: I am the LORD.

18:22 Thou shalt not lie with mankind, as with womankind: it is abomination [see Sodomites].

18:23 Neither shalt thou lie with any beast to defile thyself therewith: neither shall any woman stand before a beast to lie down thereto: it is confusion.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

3 Leviticus 15: 19/22

" When a woman has a discharge of blood that is her regular discharge from her body, she shall be in her impurity for seven days, and whoever touches her shall be unclean until the evening."

"Whoever touches anything upon which she sits shall wash his clothes, and bathe in water, and be unclean until the evening"

Ostensibly this makes perfect sense. Women really are best avoided while they endure their week of menstrual psychosis but how in Gods name can you avoid anything they sit on? Public transport is a one way trip to hell, odds are any seat on the train has been contaminated with their filth, or the seats in your office canteen, or your school. Want to sit on a bench in the park on a nice summers day? Beware my boy, if you get hit by a bus before you've had a chance to scrub the uncleanliness off it could cost you your immortal soul! Is the only way for menfolk to be safe to murder all women? (no problems here "Kill them all - old and young, girls and women and little children. -Ezekiel 9:5-7")

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

...and it seemed such a nice peacable religion too. Oh well, back to me ways of wickedness and lust and whips n floggers n things.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"3 Leviticus 15: 19/22

" When a woman has a discharge of blood that is her regular discharge from her body, she shall be in her impurity for seven days, and whoever touches her shall be unclean until the evening."

"Whoever touches anything upon which she sits shall wash his clothes, and bathe in water, and be unclean until the evening"

I don't think they'd invented tampons in Leviticus' time - but it does go to show the similarities, there's an almost exact copy of that phrase in the Koran. But biblical crap like that went a long way towards making women second-class citizens, especially in religion.

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By *ensualfire88Man
over a year ago

Edinburgh

"Sir,

I admire your indefagetability.

But you are SO fucked having that conversation with the almighty.

You'll still be arguing the toss as Lucifer drags you off, whispering to god angrily "you OWE me for taking this one, he's going to be insufferable"...!!

It's a bit of a paradox though isn't it.

You're assuming I'm going to be dragged off to a place that I believe doesn't exist, by a henious entity that is nothing more than a figment of man's imagination.

And that's the real beauty about religion, it cannot be proved nor disproved until one is dead and by that time it's either too late to do anything about it or warn anyone else to do the same.

I'm looking forward to eternity with much anticipation - or not, as the case may be.

No paradox atall, as a committed athiest i'll be the only person in the room more surprised than you when God gives you his audience!

BUT, in the interests of hedging our bets...

Given that you've worked out what you're gonna say should the unlikely event unfold, it would be churlish for me to not state how much i'd like to be there to see the event "live" as it were.

And it would be remiss of me not to give you fair warning that i don't think the deity is going to be in that good a mood after you've expressed your of _iew on his erm "shortcomings".

But as both a spectator sport and a live performance it HAS to be worth the price of admission, and i've got huge money on the guy with the Scythe and the chess board making an appearance. After all, IF one of them exists, it would be reasonable to assume the other does too.

And, finally, as you seem hell bent (no pun intended) on pissing of the "nice" one i.e God, may i respectfully suggest that when the hoody with the scythe oofers you accomm "down below" you don't argue the toss with him as well!!??

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I've decided a course of action based on the replies in this thread.

A lifetime of sin, greed and indulgence followed by a death-bed conversion to whichever god is winning at the time

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"And, finally, as you seem hell bent (no pun intended) on pissing of the "nice" one i.e God, may i respectfully suggest that when the hoody with the scythe oofers you accomm "down below" you don't argue the toss with him as well!!??

I'll most certainly state my case for a room with a _iew and a reasonable expectation of 3 squares a day and as much pussy as I can devour in one sitting. I'll be a fookin credit to the guy. He'll see that.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I've decided a course of action based on the replies in this thread.

A lifetime of sin, greed and indulgence followed by a death-bed conversion to whichever god is winning at the time

The bit about 'sin, greed and indulgence'. Wanna do some work on that huh?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I've decided a course of action based on the replies in this thread.

A lifetime of sin, greed and indulgence followed by a death-bed conversion to whichever god is winning at the time

The bit about 'sin, greed and indulgence'. Wanna do some work on that huh?

Have you got some chocolate then?

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By *ensualfire88Man
over a year ago

Edinburgh

"I've decided a course of action based on the replies in this thread.

A lifetime of sin, greed and indulgence followed by a death-bed conversion to whichever god is winning at the time

The bit about 'sin, greed and indulgence'. Wanna do some work on that huh?

Have you got some chocolate then?

Aw, look at you two, getting all loved up in Hell!

I'll see if Satan will do you a double room with an en-suite...

(p.s - i thought about the death bed conversion as well - do we think god would be THAT dumb????)

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

(p.s - i thought about the death bed conversion as well - do we think god would be THAT dumb????)

Bearing in mind all that's wrong with the world - yes.

But it would be too late by then, anyway

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"3 Leviticus 15: 19/22

" When a woman has a discharge of blood that is her regular discharge from her body, she shall be in her impurity for seven days, and whoever touches her shall be unclean until the evening."

"Whoever touches anything upon which she sits shall wash his clothes, and bathe in water, and be unclean until the evening"

It all depends on who is interpreting it. Could also be read to mean "leave em alone for this time". Which could be seen as a boon by some of us.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I've decided a course of action based on the replies in this thread.

A lifetime of sin, greed and indulgence followed by a death-bed conversion to whichever god is winning at the time

The bit about 'sin, greed and indulgence'. Wanna do some work on that huh?

Have you got some chocolate then?

Aw, look at you two, getting all loved up in Hell!

I'll see if Satan will do you a double room with an en-suite...

(p.s - i thought about the death bed conversion as well - do we think god would be THAT dumb????)

Well Satan said that cos I been a dirty little devil all my life and can have a 10" chopper when I get to Hell to assist with the impaling of thousands bad girls. Seems like a thoroughly nice chap to me. I've asked for the Elvis themed suite as I like guitars and cadillacs.

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