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friendship over

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By *andoras Dream OP   Couple
over a year ago

Swindon Area

A good friends husband recognised us on here and mailed me privately. He asked all sorts of questions like, have we met anyone, have we cammed, what have we done. We didn't realise at first it was him and did answer the questions (like you do)till he kept trying to message me on facebook and asked the same questions etc, he even started to message adam on facebook too trying to talk about sex etc.

anyway, he mailed me one day, i was so fed up by this time that i replied and said, yes adam and i are swingers, we do cam with other couples and are looking for a couple to meet, now please leave us alone as you are married to my friend. (they live in Oz now though).

so, you guessed it, my friend saw the email and it all hit the fan. It was horrendous, they were due to come to the UK in June and stay with us but she cancelled the trip. So, its a difficult situation and its bound to happen at sometime but just wondering if anyone else has been in the same situation?

Im glad in a way they live in Oz now as I'm not likely to bump into them. I have messaged my friend, explaining that I didn't play along, yes I did mail him back but she could see I asked him to leave us alone etc.

Its over between us and it hurts. I know there is nothing I can do but what a shit!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

hm, whilst it is indeed sad to lose a friendship for the sake of the lifestyle, I would query what kind of friend would judge you in accordance with your personal sexual preferences and why she would put any portion of blame onto you for her partners indiscretion?

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By *andoras Dream OP   Couple
over a year ago

Swindon Area

She is probably doing what any wife would do, putting the blame on us instead of her husband. Who knows what he has said to her.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Are you certain that it was just the male contacting you ?

Unless you have spoken with the couple I wouldn't be so confident that this was all the fault of the male part. Who knows they may have both been involved.

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By *andoras Dream OP   Couple
over a year ago

Swindon Area


"Are you certain that it was just the male contacting you ?

Unless you have spoken with the couple I wouldn't be so confident that this was all the fault of the male part. Who knows they may have both been involved.

"

definately only the bloke involved. when i messaged my friend explaining she mailed back saying 'why him, why message him, why did i say those things' etc

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 13/09/10 11:02:41]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

yeah the lifestyle can play havoc with friends, a few of our friends know and now when we want to go for a normal night out they have worried looks on there face lol until we tell them we have no interest in them that way,

funny thing is our male friends have no problems with it might be because they prob want to join in. its mostly couples or female friends that feel alittle weird and uncomfortable with it.

even though they will ask question after question.

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By *eaboMan
over a year ago

marden

taking a wild guess here but your friend may consider you more attractive and exciting than her and did not want to take the risk with her husband and you in the same house. Old green eyes is a powerfull influence. The safest way to protect what she has is to ensure hubby don't see you egain. Both men and women are neither geneticaly or naturaly monogamous, but religion and society has dictated we are by necessity. It is all down to whether your extra marital affair is behind you partners back or actively involves them.

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

Im sorry but it doesnt seem as though it was a strong friendship if she has just cut ties that easily or maybe shes just embarressed that her husband was on a swingers site

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"taking a wild guess here but your friend may consider you more attractive and exciting than her and did not want to take the risk with her husband and you in the same house. Old green eyes is a powerfull influence."

What a load of rubbish!! More likely her friend is embarrassed others now know her husband is a lying, cheating scumbag but she's still sticking around!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Or maybe she's acutely embarrassed by the whole thing and has preconceived ideas that when they visit the UK and stay at the OP's house that this incident will be dredged up making their stay very uncomfortable.

I'd email her one more time, lay everything on the line about being swingers, tell how contact with new swingers is made, the usernames we use to hide our identities, and that we don't know who new users are until later but once you realised it was him you asked him to leave it out.

If she will not listen to reason then you have to accept that the friendship is lost and get on with your life. It's all you can do.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


" shes just embarressed that her husband was on a swingers site"

That would be my guess!

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By *andoras Dream OP   Couple
over a year ago

Swindon Area


"Or maybe she's acutely embarrassed by the whole thing and has preconceived ideas that when they visit the UK and stay at the OP's house that this incident will be dredged up making their stay very uncomfortable.

I'd email her one more time, lay everything on the line about being swingers, tell how contact with new swingers is made, the usernames we use to hide our identities, and that we don't know who new users are until later but once you realised it was him you asked him to leave it out.

If she will not listen to reason then you have to accept that the friendship is lost and get on with your life. It's all you can do."

You are right, I will mail her again and do as you say. I don't want this over our heads, if they do visit the UK soon then I want it all to be over as we have mutual friends and bound to see each other if they don't stay here.

thanks guys. xxx

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By *uss PussWoman
over a year ago

east cheshire

Anyway he was prob just on the site for kicks...i mean why else would someone in Oz be mailing the UK?

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By *andoras Dream OP   Couple
over a year ago

Swindon Area


"Anyway he was prob just on the site for kicks...i mean why else would someone in Oz be mailing the UK?"

i'm sure it was just that too, apparently he used to swing before he met my friend. Once a swinger, always a swinger I guess.

Bet he couldn't believe his luck when he found us on here and thats when it became a bit more personal. He told me he has always fancied me so with us being on here I guess he used that to get his kicks and to try and take it a step further. Didn't work though and we all got hurt because of it.

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By *hocksandmissusCouple
over a year ago

Chester-ish

we went through a very similar thing with friends but wit the opposite outcome they seen our profile on here and we hadent realised it was them until a week or so later when chatting to them they sent us a pic of them selves, well at first we werent sure what to do but as it turned out all was cool and now we also play quite often as well as being really good friends xxxx

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By *andoras Dream OP   Couple
over a year ago

Swindon Area


"we went through a very similar thing with friends but wit the opposite outcome they seen our profile on here and we hadent realised it was them until a week or so later when chatting to them they sent us a pic of them selves, well at first we werent sure what to do but as it turned out all was cool and now we also play quite often as well as being really good friends xxxx"

really??? thats great for you.

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