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"I took it at the time. It was very hard. I did enjoy the session but I was trembling uncontrollably. The resulting pain and marks today tell me it was too much. Feeling very sorry for myself at the moment. " arnica cream and a couple of paracetamol | |||
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"Bugger. No pics ? " I doubt this site would pass them. They've rejected previous ones. These are much worse. Looks like gravel rash in neatly arranged stripes. | |||
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"Here's a question for those who are into bdsm; is the way I'm feeling just normal? Am I just being a whimp here! " We aren't into it in that respect but I would say as with almost anything, if you feel its not right, then it isn't. | |||
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"Here's a question for those who are into bdsm; is the way I'm feeling just normal? Am I just being a whimp here! " It's quite normal hun, try to make sure you take care of yourself today, I prescribe some chocolate and try doing something you enjoy, whether this be curl up and watch your favourite movie with a blanket or put your favourite album on with a good book. Talking to you Domme can really help too, sub drop can be a bugger but time will pull you through it, promise. I remember after one session just bursting into tears, but soon passed. Hugs xxx | |||
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"Here's a question for those who are into bdsm; is the way I'm feeling just normal? Am I just being a whimp here! " It's easy to misjudge your limits in the heat of the moment, only to realise once the endorphins pass that it was too much. We all have our limits. There's nothing wimpy about finding something too much. Although most subs have a safe word, it's mostly the Dom(me)s job to know when the sub has had enough. Subs are often in a headspace where they can't tell. I got it wrong a few times when I was less experienced and I felt awful about it. Communication is important. Definitely talk to your Domme. As others have said, take care of yourself today. | |||
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"Here's a question for those who are into bdsm; is the way I'm feeling just normal? Am I just being a whimp here! It's quite normal hun, try to make sure you take care of yourself today, I prescribe some chocolate and try doing something you enjoy, whether this be curl up and watch your favourite movie with a blanket or put your favourite album on with a good book. Talking to you Domme can really help too, sub drop can be a bugger but time will pull you through it, promise. I remember after one session just bursting into tears, but soon passed. Hugs xxx" Thank you. I'm tiling a bathroom at the minute but curling up would be my preference right now. | |||
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"Here's a question for those who are into bdsm; is the way I'm feeling just normal? Am I just being a whimp here! It's easy to misjudge your limits in the heat of the moment, only to realise once the endorphins pass that it was too much. We all have our limits. There's nothing wimpy about finding something too much. Although most subs have a safe word, it's mostly the Dom(me)s job to know when the sub has had enough. Subs are often in a headspace where they can't tell. I got it wrong a few times when I was less experienced and I felt awful about it. Communication is important. Definitely talk to your Domme. As others have said, take care of yourself today." Totally agree with this although have known people to sub drop after a relatively gentle play, so it's not always that you've exceeded your normal limits, can also depend on your emotional state too. I'm lucky enough to live with my Dom so he can keep an eye on me in the days following play too, however if he's in work he will usually drop me a text to make sure I'm ok. | |||
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"Here's a question for those who are into bdsm; is the way I'm feeling just normal? Am I just being a whimp here! It's easy to misjudge your limits in the heat of the moment, only to realise once the endorphins pass that it was too much. We all have our limits. There's nothing wimpy about finding something too much. Although most subs have a safe word, it's mostly the Dom(me)s job to know when the sub has had enough. Subs are often in a headspace where they can't tell. I got it wrong a few times when I was less experienced and I felt awful about it. Communication is important. Definitely talk to your Domme. As others have said, take care of yourself today. Totally agree with this although have known people to sub drop after a relatively gentle play, so it's not always that you've exceeded your normal limits, can also depend on your emotional state too. I'm lucky enough to live with my Dom so he can keep an eye on me in the days following play too, however if he's in work he will usually drop me a text to make sure I'm ok." The pain being too much afterwards isn't sub drop though. Nor concern about the marks. That sounds like the main problem here. | |||
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"Here's a question for those who are into bdsm; is the way I'm feeling just normal? Am I just being a whimp here! It's easy to misjudge your limits in the heat of the moment, only to realise once the endorphins pass that it was too much. We all have our limits. There's nothing wimpy about finding something too much. Although most subs have a safe word, it's mostly the Dom(me)s job to know when the sub has had enough. Subs are often in a headspace where they can't tell. I got it wrong a few times when I was less experienced and I felt awful about it. Communication is important. Definitely talk to your Domme. As others have said, take care of yourself today. Totally agree with this although have known people to sub drop after a relatively gentle play, so it's not always that you've exceeded your normal limits, can also depend on your emotional state too. I'm lucky enough to live with my Dom so he can keep an eye on me in the days following play too, however if he's in work he will usually drop me a text to make sure I'm ok. The pain being too much afterwards isn't sub drop though. Nor concern about the marks. That sounds like the main problem here." I don't think it is the drop either. I usually take pride in my markings. They are always very neat and can last a week or two. | |||
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"Here's a question for those who are into bdsm; is the way I'm feeling just normal? Am I just being a whimp here! It's easy to misjudge your limits in the heat of the moment, only to realise once the endorphins pass that it was too much. We all have our limits. There's nothing wimpy about finding something too much. Although most subs have a safe word, it's mostly the Dom(me)s job to know when the sub has had enough. Subs are often in a headspace where they can't tell. I got it wrong a few times when I was less experienced and I felt awful about it. Communication is important. Definitely talk to your Domme. As others have said, take care of yourself today. Totally agree with this although have known people to sub drop after a relatively gentle play, so it's not always that you've exceeded your normal limits, can also depend on your emotional state too. I'm lucky enough to live with my Dom so he can keep an eye on me in the days following play too, however if he's in work he will usually drop me a text to make sure I'm ok. The pain being too much afterwards isn't sub drop though. Nor concern about the marks. That sounds like the main problem here. I don't think it is the drop either. I usually take pride in my markings. They are always very neat and can last a week or two. " Absolutely fair enough just didn't want others reading it thinking drop only happens if the play too hard. I actually am envious that you get marks, seems no matter how hard we go I just don't bruise. Really hope you get to feeling better soon and the arnica cream was a good suggestion for the bruises further up the thread. | |||
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""I did enjoy the session but I was trembling uncontrollably." I would say you started to drop straight after the session. A girl on Sat night at a play party had the same reaction and her top did not know what to do. She was adamant she was not dropping until I made her have a sugary and wear a jumper to warm up. She then accepted she had begun to drop. It does not always have to be a beating, Mr Perverse had 3 needles in one session and dropped for 5 hours even though he had done it a million times before. I have chatted to you before and I think your relationship with your Domme is new? I think this is a case of still testing new limits? She may need to provide more aftercare and you may need to say your safeword more. I use the word amber instead of just a plain old red, it means the activity needs to stop and not the whole session. It takes the whole stigma of ending the session away from the sub and it doesn't kill your fun. If this kills your headspace, you could say thank you mistress after each stroke. If you forget to say it she then knows you aren't mentally 'there' and will slow up play to check on you. Either way hope it gets better x " | |||
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""I did enjoy the session but I was trembling uncontrollably." I would say you started to drop straight after the session. A girl on Sat night at a play party had the same reaction and her top did not know what to do. She was adamant she was not dropping until I made her have a sugary and wear a jumper to warm up. She then accepted she had begun to drop. It does not always have to be a beating, Mr Perverse had 3 needles in one session and dropped for 5 hours even though he had done it a million times before. I have chatted to you before and I think your relationship with your Domme is new? I think this is a case of still testing new limits? She may need to provide more aftercare and you may need to say your safeword more. I use the word amber instead of just a plain old red, it means the activity needs to stop and not the whole session. It takes the whole stigma of ending the session away from the sub and it doesn't kill your fun. If this kills your headspace, you could say thank you mistress after each stroke. If you forget to say it she then knows you aren't mentally 'there' and will slow up play to check on you. Either way hope it gets better x " Thank you. It is quite new. I actually didn't go to the club for a session. I told 'her' I wanted to show her my passionate seductive side and dressed accordingly in red satin. I ought to mention 'she' is s tv Domme, I guess. We had a very sensuous session in private and after she asked if I wanted a session. I agreed, although my legs were actually a bit trembly already. It turned into our hardest session that took me quite a while to stand up from after I was released. She held me for ages and cuddled me on a sofa for a long time after. That was definitely drop as I was freezing and felt very emotional. | |||
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"Here's a question for those who are into bdsm; is the way I'm feeling just normal? Am I just being a whimp here! " Subdrop | |||
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"Here's a question for those who are into bdsm; is the way I'm feeling just normal? Am I just being a whimp here! " Completely normal! After a session, its what's called a "drop" where your emotions are low, sometimes even feeling depressed. I feel the same straight after sex, a lot of cuddles, sweets and a film make me a lot happier! | |||
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"Mr P started life as my sub, but we found out he just gets off on pain. So have you thought caning might not just be for you? Mr P loves CBT, I can can flog him, but hates being spanked. " I think the type of pain canes bring might not be for me. I love floggers and whips. Paddles slap and bruise me. Canes feel very sharp and mark lots. | |||
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"Mr P started life as my sub, but we found out he just gets off on pain. So have you thought caning might not just be for you? Mr P loves CBT, I can can flog him, but hates being spanked. I think the type of pain canes bring might not be for me. I love floggers and whips. Paddles slap and bruise me. Canes feel very sharp and mark lots. " A lesson well learned . Hope you feel better tomorrow and in less pain. | |||
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"Does your domme hit you lots of times in one go? Caning has to be done slowly so the pain disapears and I rub the cane across the spot slowly so the blood can come to the surface. Also I only cane hard across the sweet spot so you get the pleasure x" She does go more slowly with her canes. Usually in sets of six. Sometimes with me counting them and thanking her. The seventh is for her. That one is always very hard. | |||
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"I'm feeling sorry for myself today after yesterday's session. " Communication with your Domme is important. But communication with yourself too, about how you feel today, the pain, the marks and about what you want out of a session. We are all different. May be this is your limit mentally and/or physically. Chocolate and Arnica cream if your skin is not broken can help. Hope you get a good chat with your Domme. Big Hugs x | |||
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"Thank you for the hugs ladies. Can I not use arnica cream on broken skin then? I have broken skin. " From memory, you can't using it on broken skin or mucous membranes as it can cause irritation/skin reactions. But read the label with your tube. | |||
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"I took it at the time. It was very hard. I did enjoy the session but I was trembling uncontrollably. The resulting pain and marks today tell me it was too much. Feeling very sorry for myself at the moment. " Bdsm isn't for me at all - but I think you're lovely person and hope the pain subsides soon - and that you and your dom can find a compromise which makes you both happy! Xx Big hugs! Xx | |||
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"I took it at the time. It was very hard. I did enjoy the session but I was trembling uncontrollably. The resulting pain and marks today tell me it was too much. Feeling very sorry for myself at the moment. Bdsm isn't for me at all - but I think you're lovely person and hope the pain subsides soon - and that you and your dom can find a compromise which makes you both happy! Xx Big hugs! Xx" Aw. Thank you. That's lovely xxx | |||
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"OP... I haven't read this thread, just in case the staggeringly obvious thing I'm ABOUT to say hss ALREADY been said.. but..safe word? ...you ever heard of that concept. No?...well you should get one..seriously. Just reading your OP is awkward. " Sarcasm is always helpful. | |||
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"Needing a bit of sympathy fabsters. Also need to talk to my Domme. " Big hugs for you! Xx | |||
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"OP... I haven't read this thread, just in case the staggeringly obvious thing I'm ABOUT to say hss ALREADY been said.. but..safe word? ...you ever heard of that concept. No?...well you should get one..seriously. Just reading your OP is awkward. " From what I've read id say the problems started after the session. Bit late for a safe word by then. | |||
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"Mr P started life as my sub, but we found out he just gets off on pain. So have you thought caning might not just be for you? Mr P loves CBT, I can can flog him, but hates being spanked. I think the type of pain canes bring might not be for me. I love floggers and whips. Paddles slap and bruise me. Canes feel very sharp and mark lots. " I am the same.. so, caning isnt ruled out for me, it is on my 'punishment' list. I hate how it hurts and stings, so when I know punishment is a possibility for failing a task, knowing I can be caned makes damn sure I obey an order - or do not backchat during a certain day or session You have had some great advice already - the best I have seen is 'amber' and 'red' safewords. But, at least you know (even tho a few days after the event) you have obviously learned one limit, so its essential your Domme knows this | |||
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"I'm not keen on this I hate any sort of inflicted pain as being beaten black and blue in relationships I can't see pleasure in it myself. I guess it's important to discuss this with your Domme but you also have to consider the feelings of your wife regarding this. " I get what you're saying about violent relationships. You probably remember I endured six years of abuse myself. This kind of thing is very different. I'm not being psychology battered. I'm enjoying a pleasure pain power exchange with a heady mix of endorphins. | |||
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"I'm not keen on this I hate any sort of inflicted pain as being beaten black and blue in relationships I can't see pleasure in it myself. I guess it's important to discuss this with your Domme but you also have to consider the feelings of your wife regarding this. I get what you're saying about violent relationships. You probably remember I endured six years of abuse myself. This kind of thing is very different. I'm not being psychology battered. I'm enjoying a pleasure pain power exchange with a heady mix of endorphins. " We all have different pleasure avenues as long as you are happy with it then that's all that matters | |||
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"If I'm honest; I'm confused by what I seek. " Then maybe you need to take a step back from it for a bit maybe have a chat with your wife and see what her thoughts are. You said up there that you didn't want to show your marks to your wife as she put a stop to it. | |||
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"If I'm honest; I'm confused by what I seek. " It's a journey. Take it as it comes. With a good Domme and good communication, you'll work it out as you go. Your tastes and interests may change as you progress along the path anyway. Enjoy it and don't seek too hard to understand it. | |||
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"I'm not keen on this I hate any sort of inflicted pain as being beaten black and blue in relationships I can't see pleasure in it myself. I guess it's important to discuss this with your Domme but you also have to consider the feelings of your wife regarding this. " Why one human would wish to dominate another in such a fashion and the one being dominated welcome such treatment is beyond me. I've seen the reasons/arguments proponents of such activities put forward to explain/justify what they get up to and quite frankly to me they seem no different to the rationalisations given by those whose proclivities lean toward the underage and non human. Yes, they are all adults, or at least should be, but I doubt whether 'of sound mind' applies. | |||
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"I'm not keen on this I hate any sort of inflicted pain as being beaten black and blue in relationships I can't see pleasure in it myself. I guess it's important to discuss this with your Domme but you also have to consider the feelings of your wife regarding this. Why one human would wish to dominate another in such a fashion and the one being dominated welcome such treatment is beyond me. I've seen the reasons/arguments proponents of such activities put forward to explain/justify what they get up to and quite frankly to me they seem no different to the rationalisations given by those whose proclivities lean toward the underage and non human. Yes, they are all adults, or at least should be, but I doubt whether 'of sound mind' applies." Well, as you say; this is clearly beyond your comprehension. That's apparent from the reduculous rubbish you just posted here. | |||
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"We talk everything we do through all the time. Communication is the mainstay of our relationship. She doesn't like to see me bruised. I can understand that. My concern regarding her was that if I told her I was upset by my caning and she saw how heavily marked I was, she would more than likely have just knee jerked and said to stop. I had the feeling that I'd be wanting to submit again and I didn't want a period of insecurity on my part taking away this release. " You always seem to have a wonderfully open and communicative relationship with your wife. It seems such a shame that you don't feel you can discuss your feelings about this with her. I don't know enough about any of this to really be able to comment, but I think I'd be gutted if I were her and I found out you'd felt this way and I didn't know. | |||
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"We talk everything we do through all the time. Communication is the mainstay of our relationship. She doesn't like to see me bruised. I can understand that. My concern regarding her was that if I told her I was upset by my caning and she saw how heavily marked I was, she would more than likely have just knee jerked and said to stop. I had the feeling that I'd be wanting to submit again and I didn't want a period of insecurity on my part taking away this release. You always seem to have a wonderfully open and communicative relationship with your wife. It seems such a shame that you don't feel you can discuss your feelings about this with her. I don't know enough about any of this to really be able to comment, but I think I'd be gutted if I were her and I found out you'd felt this way and I didn't know. " It's a bit like telling your mum that your boyfriend upset you. You may forgive him but your mother never will | |||
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"I think I'd be gutted if I were her and I found out you'd felt this way and I didn't know. " Ok. Thought about this again now; Point taken. I'll talk to her about it tonight. I keep preaching "communication" at everyone else. Can't be bending my own rules and ignore my own advice. I'll tell her. | |||
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